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Want to Buy a Mansion?
Do you feel the urge to flaunt your success in life? Do you want to please the little wifey with a palatial 18,000 square foot, nine bedroom estate with a mahogany home theater, wine cave, library, and multiple swimming pools? For good measure, I’ll throw in the 21 car heated garage, billiard room, “panic” room, and a spectacular ocean view from every room. I’ll even have an Elvis Presley robot greet you at the ticket booth for the theater. Then have I got a deal for you!
Foreclosures on homes over $1 million in value have soared by 335% since 2007 and are now at an all-time high. Although they account for only 2.3% of all foreclosures, the high profile distress sales are having a depressive impact on the entire market.
Many of these edifices represent fairy tales gone bad. Gatsby wanabes paid in stock options were wiped out by the crash. Great swathes of private businesses were decimated by the Great Recession, especially in the real estate field. Spec builders were caught out in the cold. Apparently, there are just not enough Saudi princes to go around. Many are exercises in hubris in the extreme. I drive by these houses in my neighborhood sometimes and shake my head.
You would think that owners would take advantage of record low interest rates to simply refinance and hold out for better times. But banks are loathe to lend on these properties, as their liquidity is so poor. I have seen some palaces that have been empty for five years, and the local wildlife have started to move in.
Every six months a real estate agent calls and asks if I want to buy back a mansion I sold in back in 2005 at half the price…. but for cash only. The high end home business has essentially turned into a cash and carry market. Quite frankly, there are better things to do with your cash these days, like buy gold and Swiss francs.
Good luck selling these things. Industry data show that foreclosed homes sell for 27% less than non-foreclosed ones. Opening bids often start at half the listed prices. Winning bidders need to present several million dollars in cashier’s checks on the spot to seal the deal. Many sales fall through after the buyers discover a tangled web of liens left by angry suppliers, builders, and local tax authorities. I have been to a few auctions that didn’t attract a single bid. I know because the sellers called me later, offering the property for 10% below the reserve price….again, for cash only.
Before you reach for your checkbook, consider carefully what you are getting yourself into. Taxes on these properties can run to $30,000 a month, and maintenance another $20,000. That is for a cleaning lady that doesn’t do windows, and before a penny is paid on interest.
I happen to know that you can rent these white elephants for 25% of the cost of carry because I am sitting in one right now. I don’t have to worry about the coming 25% decline in home prices. And if the electric gate, the security system, or the talking Elvis breaks down, I simply call the landlord and complain. I just hope I accidently don’t lock myself in the “panic” room with this stock market.
For those who wish to participate in Macro Millionaire, my highly innovative and successful trade mentoring program, please email John Thomas directly at madhedgefundtrader@yahoo.com . Please put “Macro Millionaire” in the subject line, as we are getting buried in emails.
To see the data, charts, and graphs that support this research piece, as well as more iconoclastic and out-of-consensus analysis, please visit me at www.madhedgefundtrader.com . There, you will find the conventional wisdom mercilessly flailed and tortured daily, and my last two years of research reports available for free. You can also listen to me on Hedge Fund Radio by clicking on “This Week on Hedge Fund Radio” in the upper right corner of my home page.
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I was wondering how he penned this diarrhea with a straightjacket on.
I'm kinda glad Tyler has a sense of humor and lets him post his incoherant bullshit. The comments that transpire, @truthinsunshine, are priceless.
God I hope you're right.
Well, I ^ nearly all the other posts by 1, but this post I had to reply to. Because I literally did lol, and loudly.
The guy is advertising his trading services with a Yahoo email address and he's trying to sell me on the idea he's "wealthy"? He should really class up his corporate personna with an AOL email address.
Hi ...expensive houses are being foreclosed on and I rent instead.
That seems to sum it up.
Well that is over-fuckin-whelming.
I don't know how this sort of thing goes in the US, but over here in Blighty, when we had hundreds of large properties that no one could afford to live in anymore, they ended up being cut up into smaller apartment units. There's a good forty people now living in what was once an old squire's hall up the road from me.
How long will it take before someone buys one of these mansions, chops it up inside and rents out individual "exclusive apartments" to bright eyed bushy tailed Ivy GenYers?
From arguably the best lyricist and songwriter from old Blighty in the 20th Century:
Ray nailed the McMansions and foreclosure back in 1966.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BP6gzDPcbgY&feature=related
Most Exclusive Residence For SaleWritten by: Raymond Douglas Davies
Lyrics:
It was the biggest house in the neighborhood.
He went and bought this house when he made good.
Ten bedrooms and a swimming pool,
Where he entertained all the people that he knew.
But he hit the hard times and had to sell out.
Most exclusive residence for sale.
He went and spent all the money that he had.
Because he had a heart and not a head.
He spent it all on girls and fancy jewelry.
Then he found himself in front of a judge and jury,
And the judge said to pay up, our you must sell out.
Most exclusive residence for sale.
He had to tell all the servants to go away.
Couldn't even afford to pay their way.
He took to the bottle and drunk himself down,
Then he soaked away all the troubles and let them drown.
Then he saw a notice on the wall,
Most exclusive residence for sale.
Most exclusive residence for sale.
La-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la
Sorry for the duplicate post.
This entire MHFT post is a duplicate of previous post(s)
His two best are 'riding in boxcars with hobos' and 'time to go long airlines' pieces.
I hate this guy.
My name is Elmer J. Fudd. I own a mansion and a yacht.
Dick Measuring at its worst.
Really, this guy can't hold a John(son) Holmes to the "Got me another Monster Box today. I'm 95% PM's,"
I really hate this guy.
we
what's the point of this article? WGARA?
I'm pretty sure the point is to let us know that he lives in a mansion. He lived in a mansion in 2005. His entire neighborhood is full of mansions. And all of his neighbors are all lesser people then he is.
and that his name is Elmer J Fudd and he owns a mansion unt a yacht
Do these mansions have a dining area where we could do lunch?
That'll be a $250 ticket
come on, the $10m+ market has and always will be cash
This guy should be a member of the Jersey Shore Cast - DOUCHE!!!
I'm sitting in one right now. As far as refinancing and holding out for better times..? I'm underwater a million bucks, no thanks.
Going to drop an upper decker in every toilet the night before the auction. May need a high fiber dinner.
As a building contractor I recomend going to the top floor toilet and flush it as you are pouring "Quickcrete" into it.
This guy is totally pathetic -- c'mon, Tyler, pull the plug.
Between Phoenix Capital Management and this douchebag I'm not sure who's worse.
I read longer posts in the COMMENTS section on a daily basis. This post has no info, and comes with an ad. Fuck off MHFT. You're a douche.
He's gotta be paying for access.
I used to think that but Tyler posted somewhere that no one pays to play on his site (or something to that effect)
You know how the character Forrest Gump was inadvertantly present when significant events took place? MHFT imagines that he was present and a contributing part of historic events. I remember Forrest Gump. MHFT, you're no Forrest Gump!
As others have said, the comments that result from his posts are priceless and make his continued presence worthwhile.