#1 In Tentacle Selection: 300,000 People Applied To Goldman Sachs In The Past Two Years; 4% Were Hired

Tyler Durden's picture




 
0
Your rating: None
 

- advertisements -

Comment viewing options

Select your preferred way to display the comments and click "Save settings" to activate your changes.
Fri, 11/18/2011 - 20:10 | 1892946 101 years and c...
101 years and counting's picture

lying.  scamming. raping 10 yr old boys...i mean fed chairmen.

Fri, 11/18/2011 - 20:22 | 1892969 derek_vineyard
derek_vineyard's picture

i thought it didn't take any training to be a dick

Fri, 11/18/2011 - 20:32 | 1892993 dwdollar
dwdollar's picture

"...the best and brightest..."

LOL... more like the greediest and most corruptible...

Fri, 11/18/2011 - 20:53 | 1893060 oh_bama
oh_bama's picture

SOME IT PEOPLE AT GOLDMAN ARE SECOND CLASS AT BEST

 

Sat, 11/19/2011 - 03:06 | 1893654 Dicite justitiam
Dicite justitiam's picture

I observed a "SECOND CLASS AT BEST" candidate make the jump.  You are right.  Not impressed at all.  GS half-life is shorter than described by previous experiments.

Sat, 11/19/2011 - 11:02 | 1893909 Vampyroteuthis ...
Vampyroteuthis infernalis's picture

The world is a vampire...... Yeah, what they are not telling you is who they are hiring. It is not your smart kid who worked his way through college. It is those Ivy League rich kids with connections. In-breeding at its best.

Sat, 11/19/2011 - 14:54 | 1894344 AldousHuxley
AldousHuxley's picture

Clintons son in law is a joo working at goldman sachs

Chelsea despite collapsing wall st. worked for a hedge fund.

 

Insiders know, financials will be bailed out. It is the only game in town for an empire....control the trade by controlling the currency which goods are traded.

Fri, 11/18/2011 - 22:35 | 1893302 Bananamerican
Bananamerican's picture

tonight the city is full of whores 
and all the toilets are overflowing
there's shopping malls coming out of the walls
as we walk out among the manure

that's why 
I pay no mind 
I pay no mind
I pay no mind

-Beck

Fri, 11/18/2011 - 23:54 | 1893456 Mactheknife
Mactheknife's picture

So...according to Lord Blankfein, when every other bank on the planet has been laying off people in droves, GS has hired almost 12,000. Really? Must be getting ready for that inter-galactic expansion.

Sat, 11/19/2011 - 02:07 | 1893616 Sam Clemons
Sam Clemons's picture

Doesn't it seem that financial services, and the desire to be in them, is one of the biggest bubbles going?  All kids I meet are going to be expert traders making millions for GS one day...  The revitalization of the real economy will shut the doors on the paper economy hopefully once and for all.

 

This crap only is economically "useful" because we have fiat currency.

I doubt the stock market will exist in 10 years.

Sat, 11/19/2011 - 12:07 | 1894012 Arthor Bearing
Arthor Bearing's picture

++++++

Perhaps liquidty isn't all it's cracked up to be. If you have some friction in allocating capital it makes it less likely for a herd of idiots to jump onto a bandwagon as it careens over a cliff. Really, if you have a willing buyer and a willing seller, you have liquidity. Financial services is a skimming-off-the-top-while-creating-no-value scheme, just like politics/lawfirms and just like life and health insurance, by and large. All three sectors would be considerably smaller in a healthy sustainable economy.

Fri, 11/18/2011 - 22:37 | 1893311 Bananamerican
Bananamerican's picture

300,000+.... that's a lotta douchebag wannabes....

Fri, 11/18/2011 - 20:36 | 1893007 spiral_eyes
spiral_eyes's picture

i would never work for this parasitic vampire squid, or any similar such institutions. 

why? 

rational self-interest.

working for them would entail supporting the prolongment of the current state of zombie economics, bailout economics, vampire economics. 

i believe the best way to meaningful and sustainable wealth is systemic collapse, taking these parasites and all the debt with the system, and allowing us to go back to the constitution.

yeah, i could put away gold and canned food and water and build myself a bunker (i'm doing that anyway without working for bloodsuckers), but no thanks — i'd much rather live in a sustainable economic system with liberty, personal freedoms and widespread wealth creation and NO BAILOUTS.

there's far more wealth in working the phones for ron paul...

Fri, 11/18/2011 - 20:57 | 1893076 Careless Whisper
Careless Whisper's picture

Blankfine is a complete liar. I don't believe a word he says. The whole story is probably total bullshit.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oOpFbjHcxF0

 

Fri, 11/18/2011 - 21:26 | 1893151 philipat
philipat's picture

It's great work if you can get it, providing you are prepared to check all your ethics and principles at the door and foregt any thoughts about being useful to society in exchange for your pieces of silver. Except of course for external marketing purposes, sorry I meant Corporate Social Responsibility.

The very fact that there are so many lining up is a very sad reflection of what is wrong with the US today.

Sat, 11/19/2011 - 06:48 | 1893763 jeff montanye
jeff montanye's picture

goldman seems to imply these are global figures.  judging from the news the u.s. is not alone in its "problems" with finance/economics.  

now say its drone program, there it approaches the unique (although one would think brave little israel has several hundred up its sleeves with a few shooting out its wrists).

Fri, 11/18/2011 - 22:04 | 1893238 JPM Hater001
JPM Hater001's picture

Highly Altruistic...very dumb.

Sorry dude but just a heads up.  IF you want to survive the coming collapse you take whatever the best paying job you can get is...even shining GS nobs.

You learn all you can and when the world collapses you sell the story for conch shells.

Bright eyed kids.  Gotta beat'em down once in a while...

Fri, 11/18/2011 - 23:49 | 1893280 The Big Ching-aso
The Big Ching-aso's picture

 

 

HR Memorandum..................

 "An acceptable Goldman Sachs resume' must be submitted only in black ink."

Sat, 11/19/2011 - 00:25 | 1893512 Caggge
Caggge's picture

The best and the brightest wouldn't need to cheat the American people to earn their bonus's. The greedy and the dishonest would lie, cheat and steal to earn their bonus's. Who are you hiring Lloyd? The American people know! Lloyd and his motley crew should be put out of our misery. We don't need what services they provide.

Sat, 11/19/2011 - 02:57 | 1893647 calgal
calgal's picture

You mean squid ink?

Sat, 11/19/2011 - 12:19 | 1894030 The Big Ching-aso
The Big Ching-aso's picture

 

 

Is there any other?

Sat, 11/19/2011 - 00:38 | 1893525 spiral_eyes
spiral_eyes's picture

JPM hater: surviving the coming collapse is not about money.

It's about community (local farms, etc) family, stored food, water supplies, solar panels and self-defense. You can survive the coming collapse on a small budget, and there will be many with vast budgets (metropolitan elites) who won't survive.

Sat, 11/19/2011 - 03:53 | 1893686 topcallingtroll
topcallingtroll's picture

Depends on your definition of collapse.

If it is just a north korean level of collapse with massive famine yes indeed the wealthy will make it.

He who has the gold rules. Doesnt matter how you got it.

Sat, 11/19/2011 - 02:59 | 1893622 philipat
philipat's picture

JPM Hater. FYI, I retired at age 48 having built, then sold, my own business in the healthcare field. I like to believe that I made a lot of money the old fashioned way, by hard work, through helping people and contributing something useful to society. Unlike derivatives.

But thanks for the advice.

Fri, 11/18/2011 - 22:07 | 1893250 Buck Johnson
Buck Johnson's picture

Your right, but also these people want in on what they see as a trough of money from the one place that the govt. won't allow to go belly up.  I think Goldman Sachs is kept the way it is because it knows to damn much about how the govt. operates in the economy and what it and the govt. has done (hell they may have helped make the plans for the govt.).

Fri, 11/18/2011 - 22:35 | 1893307 RafterManFMJ
RafterManFMJ's picture

 

 

I'm going to intern with the local mafia for a few years, work my way up from boosting cigarette trucks, through shakedowns then into the numbers rackets; from there, its straight to GS.

Fri, 11/18/2011 - 20:11 | 1892949 Yes_Questions
Yes_Questions's picture

 

 

Glad to not be part of the 96% here, let alone the other four.

Fri, 11/18/2011 - 20:24 | 1892976 AldousHuxley
AldousHuxley's picture

doesn't matter whether you got a job at goldman or at starbucks.

If you need a job, you are not elite.

 

 

Fri, 11/18/2011 - 20:35 | 1893005 Chump
Chump's picture

Bingo, someone get this man his prize.

Sat, 11/19/2011 - 03:57 | 1893691 topcallingtroll
topcallingtroll's picture

Glad to see our resident socialist deceptively named A.H. understands.

A six figure income ain't squat

Sat, 11/19/2011 - 16:58 | 1894501 Chump
Chump's picture

Hey even a blind squirrel finds a nut, and you know you wanna cheer the little guy on...

Fri, 11/18/2011 - 20:43 | 1893033 SHEEPFUKKER
SHEEPFUKKER's picture

Corzine needs a job. 

Fri, 11/18/2011 - 21:01 | 1893089 High Plains Drifter
High Plains Drifter's picture

corzine needs to get a job on death row , sitting on his ass and waiting as his appeals process makes it through the courts before his sorry ass is fried............or (OMG)  gassed.......

Fri, 11/18/2011 - 21:09 | 1893112 scatterbrains
scatterbrains's picture

oh great idea.. lets stick him in the rec. cage with Ambrose Harris and see who's brains  get squished first.

Sat, 11/19/2011 - 00:08 | 1893468 Mercury
Mercury's picture

doesn't matter whether you got a job at goldman or at starbucks.

If you need a job, you are not elite.


Not all people who have jobs need jobs.

Within the set of people who don't need jobs, the subset who have jobs anyway are likely more "elite" (by any number of objective measures) than the rest of their peers.

Fri, 11/18/2011 - 20:11 | 1892950 azzhatter
azzhatter's picture

They are taught buttfucking 101

Fri, 11/18/2011 - 20:19 | 1892965 smlbizman
smlbizman's picture

the 4% are obviously calamari traped in a humans body...

Fri, 11/18/2011 - 20:37 | 1893014 SHEEPFUKKER
SHEEPFUKKER's picture

I think the 4% got hired to go beat up on defenseless protesters in the park. 

Fri, 11/18/2011 - 20:54 | 1893053 gangland
Fri, 11/18/2011 - 20:29 | 1892985 AldousHuxley
AldousHuxley's picture

Most wall st. execs are Joos who got raped by Nazis so they don't care about raping the new kids. "I survived the holocaust, so you shouldn't complain about 100 hour/weeks and missing family time"

 

wall st. execs rape the new hires so that new hires won't feel bad raping your grandma's pension fund. "I work 100 hour weeks so you deserve to work until 100 because I lost my bet with your pension funds"

 

That's the cycle of twisted sick society we live in.

 

Look at the wall street workers screaming at Occupy Wall Street. Their logic is "I got raped, so you deserve to get raped too by the system. How dare you not pay your 'dues' ".

 

 

 

 

 

Fri, 11/18/2011 - 20:47 | 1892999 scatterbrains
scatterbrains's picture

I'm starting to doubt that the true unemployment rate is really as bad as 17% considering none of these cock suckers have been gunned down yet. 

Sat, 11/19/2011 - 07:54 | 1893791 flattrader
flattrader's picture

I believe the true unemployment rate is higher.  Americans have been taught in the land of opportunity that if they lose their job or are raped by a mortgage company it is their own fault somehow.  We are conditioned to internalize failure.

That's why Corzine, Mozillo etc... will walk the streets with impunity just like Ken Lay did and perhaps die of natural causes while awaiting trial or sentencing.

All that needs to happen is for one poor bastard whose life has been destroyed to plug one of these bastards on the street and the tone of the conversation changes...for the better.

Sat, 11/19/2011 - 07:56 | 1893792 flattrader
flattrader's picture

I believe the true unemployment rate is higher.  Americans have been taught in the land of opportunity that if they lose their job or are raped by a mortgage company it is their own fault somehow.  We are conditioned to internalize failure.

That's why Corzine, Mozillo etc... will walk the streets with impunity just like Ken Lay did and perhaps die of natural causes while awaiting trial or sentencing.

All that needs to happen is for one poor jerk whose life has been destroyed to plug one of these bastards on the street and the tone of the conversation changes...for the better.

They've been led to believe they are immune from government prosecution...well, there's another form of justice out there.

Fri, 11/18/2011 - 20:52 | 1893058 SilverIsKing
SilverIsKing's picture

It's not "dues", it's "doos" retard.

Sat, 11/19/2011 - 00:06 | 1893483 Mercury
Mercury's picture

Ah...no it's not.

Neither one of you should be playing with sissors.

Sat, 11/19/2011 - 00:31 | 1893518 SilverIsKing
SilverIsKing's picture

I guess you couldn't tell I was speaking in my sarcastic voice.

Fri, 11/18/2011 - 20:17 | 1892952 Eireann go Brach
Eireann go Brach's picture

If you can bend over, and allow a giant tentacle to be shoved up your arse that will come out your mouth uttering the words "We are masters of the universe and we will rape and pillage all before us including grandmas", you will be granted a 2nd interview!

Fri, 11/18/2011 - 20:19 | 1892956 DormRoom
DormRoom's picture

In other news, a recent study showed 4% of the population have no soul.  All of them bankers. /s

 

"Each day, our clients seek advice and financing; they need someone to take the other side of a transaction in order to help them hedge risk"

In Goldman speak.. "we help you find dumb money, preferably German".

 

Do NOT follow this link or you will be banned from the site!