10 Market Conclusions Based On Recent Hedge Fund Exposure

Tyler Durden's picture

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GeneMarchbanks's picture

'It is our view that Hedge funds mostly suck and offer poor returns, so come to Papa.'

-Goldman Sachs

economics1996's picture

The peasants are getting ready to scrape the parasites off the host.


redpill's picture

I'd like to be a fly on the wall to listen to all these supposed smartest people in the room explain to their clients why they can't outperform an index fund.

Conrad Murray's picture

Investing with hedge funds is like buying an iPad. It's an easy way for people to be hipsterish without having to use their underdeveloped brains, in which case they'd see there are far better alternatives available for far less.

tl;dr - Douchebags and their money are easily separated.

CuriousPasserby's picture

Because then you hedge there is a cost, and if it went way down you would not have as big a loss as an index fund?

DCFusor's picture

Me, too, but the vice is versa.  When things are going in ways that hedge funds do well, you should be an index fund manager in the same position.  Perspective, man!


Mugatu's picture

Can't wait for Monday!  Cue the deer! Cue the deer!

Get ready for: 2008 - The Sequel

Luke 21's picture

You mean, you can't wait for the massive rally next week.

johnu78's picture

The only rally I want to see is about 2 million protestors in front of Wall Street. Now that's something I'd pay to see!



JPM Hater001's picture

Again with the Wall Street this and Wall Street Protest that!

Damnit People.  Who let the new guy in?

Hope for 2 Million protesting infront of the Federal Reserve Bank of New York.

jcaz's picture

Naw, I enjoy them- it's always funny to watch them try to answer the interview questions- "What do you stand for?"  Crickets.....

JPM Hater001's picture

Actually they have a very specific list of what they are against.  Thinking.

Now Billie Meier...he was a thinker


RiverRoad's picture

There's a rally going on all right.  But it's a silent rally:  the sound of millions of wallets folding shut.  John Q. Public has walked; look at the volumes.  How many times can you screw the same guy over?

ToNYC's picture

Last time the little guy had a chance was as a SOES bandit in 1999.

Wixard's picture

I wouldn't be surprised if we have a big bounce claiming that the euro can be saved. They can sneak it past america if it's stealth. 


Just hide the information in something longer than a 30 second clip. 

Unprepared's picture

They can always apply for a bank charter.

buzzsaw99's picture

US households directly own 33% of the domestic equity market...

US billionaires directly own 33% of the domestic equity market...

Fixed it.

cossack55's picture

Hedge fund investors normally shop at WalMart around midnite.

sitenine's picture

At this point, I have serious doubts over whether or not many fund managers are as concerned any more about serving their customers over their own paychecks.

GeneMarchbanks's picture

You're a paranoid loon. -Jon Corzine

blunderdog's picture

There's no reason for managers to worry about customers anymore.  In principle, they were supposed to have fiduciary responsibility and thus be potentially prosecutable for negligence (or intentional fraud).

We don't enforce laws like that these days.  A fund-manager would have to be pretty stupid not to put his own enrichment at the top of the list of priorities.

Pretorian's picture

Is anyone reading news today "EU - US summit  on debt crisies " in Washington MOnday morning. 28th November. FED is bailing EU out.

sitenine's picture

Do you think this might also have something to do with the large increase of $88 billion swing in the weekly "other" deposit account with the Fed?


Curious story.  I can't find much info on it aside from ZH.

Caviar Emptor's picture

Top hedge funds = US .gov slush funds for PPT and other market 'operations' 


JPM Hater001's picture

What is so funny is these clowns are baffled at the results and havn't a clue how this has happened.  After all, they had all the best politicians with all the best insider Congressional Trade-looting of the American Public by socio-depreciable specimins of human excriment...but I digress.

I suppose the point is, if Keynes were here today I feel pretty sure even he would have looked around enough by now to say, "Yah, Dat idea iz fusked up."  Otherwise, Lemmings at the Hedge Funds are just doing what they really do best...Follow.

The rest of us are smart enough to know we are already at war.

Reese Bobby's picture

"Hedge Funds": The world's greatest compensation scam.  "A fool and his money..."

Wixard's picture

Don't forget the other great golden rule:


"He with the  barbarous relic makes all the rules" 

High Plains Drifter's picture


jim cramer explains how its done. remember. its not about the fundamentals.......who cares about the fundamentals. it all about greed and lying and stealing and above all else , survival.....

PulauHantu29's picture

Bill Bonner (and many others) write the only people who profit with hedge funds are the managers. I remember Amaranth, the largest hedge fund collapse in history:



RiverRoad's picture

Re #10...."New constituents:"........IBM!!!  Uncle Warren's been driving that one up royally.  Hang onto your hats when these guys run for the exits.

DCFusor's picture

Or perhaps, "hang onto your short positions?".

economics1996's picture

The parasite class (government thugs) needs to clear the fuck out of the way.  



High Plains Drifter's picture


Far-Reaching Case

“Nobody in the legislative history of this country thought about a case like this,” Lewis Kruger, a lawyer for a group of customers, argued before Glenn today. “This case may determine whether there is a commodities market in the future. I have great concern about what’s going to happen in this industry. This is a far-reaching case and it needs to have an imaginative resolution.”

perhaps this case will have far reaching implications. nobody will ever allow someone else to hold their money....so what will happen? they must repay dollar for dollar or commodities futures trading will drastically change somehow....one would think......

falak pema's picture

In case of a 30% to 40% market down turn; not only will the banks burn but the HF will be obliterated for the most. Especially as the paradigm change required will turn the market illiquid for a long time. No leverage, no HFs.

Additionally the markets wiil die, as all major economies will move to central command mode; making HFs arbitrage redundant, meaningless,  for oligopoly type peer to peer transactions. As for entrepreneurial activity, it will require funding by venture capital investors, whether they be direct public contribution, cooperative capitalism or state subsidised, they won't involve going to a broken and dried up classical capital market. We will need smaller, decentralised, specialised new markets, more transparent, on Internet, to replace current huge, opaque and Oligarchy controlled ones.

Dollar Bill Hiccup's picture

Hooray for the Oligarchs and Command and Control! Where's my Marx ... he's lying around here somewhere.

Walmart is the Opiate of the Masses, or something like that.

mjk0259's picture

Since many of them are using leverage, they should be getting several times the market return just by buying an index fund...

orkoSvalbard's picture

smartmoneytracker.blogspot.com, portfolio up 20% since July. Learning a lot too. Price is right, too. Woot!

orkoSvalbard's picture

Seemed like an appropriate comment...