You're now on the archive server. Commenting has been disabled.
You Know You Are A Conspiracy Theorist If...
Submitted by Mike Krieger of Liberty Blitzkrieg blog,
- You are capable of critical thinking.
- You distrust mainstream media.
- You like nature.
- You think it’s a good idea to spend the Friday after Thanksgiving with your family rather than camping outside Best Buy to get a cheap plasma television made in China.
- You think it’s a little strange that WTC building 7 came down at free fall speed on 9/11 yet it was never hit by a plane.
- You think that drones in America might not be for Al Qaeda.
- You would like to be able to get on a plane without having to engage in a mandatory radiation bath and digital strip search.
- You have read a book in the past year.
- You think you have the right to protest.
- You think the War on Terror is a scam.
- You think the War on Drugs is a scam.
- You think the anger directed at America from the Middle East could possibly be related to our foreign policy rather than hating how amazingly free we are.
- You think the Republicans and Democrats are exactly the same on the important issues affecting our country.
- You think believing in The Constitution does not constitute a terrorist act.
- You have heard of the Bill of Rights and can even name what some of them are.
- You question whether the government loves you.
- You think the right to bear arms is not for hunting, rather so citizens can fight back should the government become a bunch of tyrannical thugs.
- You don’t own a television, and if you do, all you watch is RT, especially the Keiser Report and Capital Account.
- You don’t think the NDAA is the name of Kesha’s latest single.
- You think rich, powerful and connected people should be subject to the rule of law and go to jail if they commit crimes. Even if they are bankers and work at JP Morgan or Goldman Sachs.
- You think corporations aren’t people.
- You think Warren Buffet is a phony and a crony capitalist.
- You don’t care that Warren Buffet likes cherry coke, hamburgers and ice cream. He’s still a bad guy.
- You know that gold was made illegal by FDR in 1933 and confiscated from the American people. You know that gold bullion remained illegal for Americans to own until 1975.
- You think politicians that push for war should be sent to fight on the front lines. If they are unable, their children should go.
- You want your food to be labeled GMO so that you can make your own decisions on what you are consuming.
- You grow your own food.
- You buy raw milk.
- You think food and energy should be included in inflation calculations.
- You are aware that the Department of Homeland Security has purchased 1.2 billion rounds of ammo in the past year.
- You question whether said ammo purchases are in anticipation of a Normandy beach style landing by Al Qaeda.
- You think allowing a small group of unelected people (The Federal Reserve) to print unlimited amounts of money and distribute it as they please might not be a good idea.
If you answered yes to more than five of the 32 questions above, you might be a conspiracy theorist.
You also may be on the government’s terror watch list.
Be very alarmed and report it to the authorities immediately should you discover your neighbors engaged in such uncivilized thought.
»
- 71721 reads
- Printer-friendly version
- Send to friend
Similar Articles You Might Enjoy:
- Here Come The Drones, Or The True Reason For The Mali Incursion
- Guest Post: Time To Get Out Of The Middle East
- Major 7.8 Earthquake Strikes Iran Leaves "Hundreds Dead"; Follows 6.1 Quake From Week Ago
- FBI Interviewed Tamerlan Tsarnaev In Early 2011: Suspects' Mother Claims FBI Set Up
- Guest Post: The Linchpin Lie: How Global Collapse Will Be Sold To The Masses
Oh please add ... "You read Zero Hedge on a daily basis"
I thought Einstein said question everything. Man am I a dumbass.
I accept my programming. Porn please and hurry the fuck up.
you should never have to ask for it and have the good movies in a secret folder ready at all times.
I just stoped reading after the first five were "yes". NDAA camp for me i guess
You are a Con Theo if you think his should be done in America: http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=3w4tcIsaInE
now that's funny. jolly good fellow will be remembering that award on his deathbed.
never underestimate the power of a good mindfuck.
NSA and CIA already got all of you on their 'watch list'
"social networking" makes your conversations, expressions, thoughts public and easy to monitor.
Missed one, the raw milk question. Damn almost an A+
See you all you West Coasters in a Region 9 FEMA camp, just throw a ZH gang sign at me.
....................../´¯/)
....................,/¯../
.................../..../
............./´¯/'...'/´¯¯`·¸
........../'/.../..../......./¨¯\
........('(...´...´.... ¯~/'...')
.........\.................'...../
..........''...\.......... _.·´
............\..............(
..............\.............\...
That one?
missing the giant gold ring on that middle finger
L33T CONSPIRACY THEORIST GOING INVITE GRANDMASTER PRO BRO. get on my level.
& HEY, you, you fuckin noob...
it's 1.6 billion rounds including armor piercing rounds, sniper rounds, and many, many many many holopoint rounds. LOL LET THE FUN TIMES BEGIN! WOOT
At least half of those items were nothing more than common sense. Any one with a brain could figure it out.
Holy shit. I never realized ZeroHedge was filled with conspiracy theorists. I'd better alert Obama right away.
Do I qualify? > http://www.spiritoftruthblog.com
I call dibs on the future name "Not Sure"!
Idiocracyp.s. - Secret code phrase for Zero Hedge membership in the future will be "I lost all my [insert type of PM/firearm here] in a series of tragic boating accidents over the years."
If you answered yes to five or more questions then you ***are*** on the government’s terror watch list.
uh....I think Romney would be MUCH more interested
I'm gonna alert Tyler - I'm sure he'd NEVER allow conspiracy theories to be spread on this site
Never give up hope, bitchez. I'm setting The Bernank & Timmay up with evidence I'm collecting and my sources in the media (who I've also set up) are going to hang them high.
When you get out on parole, promise me you'll look for a container I buried near 8 Mile Road at the end of an empty Mad Dog 20/20 bottle strewn alley.
You remember the name of the town, don't you?
Barter Town, bitchez.
There's a Stellar Wind blowing over Gitmo.
It's to repel Canadian invaders.
trust me...we won't be going anywhere near USA...good luck boys
I know where to go when i run out of ammo!
No, that one is for the guards. We have to come up with a Z and H made with our fingers, or at least a Tyler Durden tatoo.
I got made fun of pretty bad over a year ago for that suggestion! I still like it though! The 0H logo is actually pretty cool. Would make a nice tat.
This looks like a "Z" http://img3.etsystatic.com/001/0/6546452/il_fullxfull.359580851_kz6w.jpg
That one has my vote....brilliant(In my Guinness voice)
haha the sign to watch for when we've all be "removed from society for our safety and the safety of capitalism"
My kind of tattoo
http://www.cuentos-x.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/fish-pussy-tattoo.jpg
what is that fish........... a salmon headed walleye carp??
Takes "smells and tastes like fish" to a whole new level.
Now that's a little sick..., and fucking hilarious.
Sorry no needles for me, nor ink, I already have enough toxins in me thanks, besides some trendy tard would copy it anyway.
Digital communications.
My only other "No" was watching Max Keiser. He outed himself as a disinfo agent (Intentional? TBD) with his ignorant attack on Mises, as well as his subsequent ad hominem attacks on Tom Woods.
The guy is a known Socialist, that's why I laughed when someone first tried telling me that I should listen to him. Trust no one that speaks of Social Justice over Individual Liberty, because they do not value your freedom.
Max is a mixed bag... one obvious issue... his harping on global warming... that is a big red flag.
Nope, he's a dyed in wool Socialist. There's nothing that comes out his mouth that isn't either BS or is in his interest. The only time he supports Silver is when he's got a lot of it and want's to sell it. I've actually dealt with the guy, and knew him personally before he became "famous". He's a POS of the truest breed.
How bout Stacy Herbert? Any insight? Seems like an abusive relationship. She's like a commie Anti-Semite with a drug addiction.
Perfect for Max.
Keiser's Crazy Jew act, with all the yelling and arm waving, is highly amusing....and Stacy, tho a Jewess, is major eye candy.
He has good guests on his show, and yes, he is a mixed bag of twisted thinking.
I have thought for some time he was a socialist. Every time I mentioned it on here the nuts come out of the woodwork.
So is AJ also a socialist?
Um, what "network" was that again?
Interesting that you have no shame in displaying your complete ignorance of science here. And I see quite a few others agree with you.
Rush Limbaugh in his own words: I'M A NAZI, OH YES I AM!
Including some of us scientists.
nice
in what way does he "harp" on global warming? i haven't watched much max keiser as i can only take him in small doses, so maybe you can tell me.
you mean he harps in the sense that he decries the pollution that causes it? because that would be a reasonable thing to do.
or he harps in the sense that he pretends it doesn't really exist and that global warming is just a vast conspiracy? just like flat earthers, or people who think that evolution is a myth, because someone told them that it says so in the bible.
hmmmm, I was going for a perfect score there, including my own list below, because I read,
and since I don't own or watch a telly-vision, I didn't need to read past the "if you do" - which are basically excuses for watching the box, and imply that somehow there is whole truth(s) in any of the listed program(ming).
ponders.
Max is broadcast on the lying machine (teevee).
That is all.
you are on to somthing there
Another is if you think that adding fluoride to the water supply is a detriment to your health
If "they" hate us because of our freedoms...how could "they" possibly still hate us?
An eye for an eye pay back is why.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qMeuHNYsJPQ&list=FLb5msS4NzVAUzOhylyJYt1Q...
Need I say anymore?
http://youtu.be/3sThcwmx3rs
Hello NSA, hello CIA,
DavidC
Anthrax!!!
Mmm, yes...that little building out in Utah should be up and running by now...it was scheduled for a September turn up if I recall...I said anthrax just to give em a little something to record...like the subject line in email's ;-)
No, apparently we're back to SARS this year: http://thechart.blogs.cnn.com/2012/09/24/new-sars-like-virus-poses-medic...
Don't forget your zinc, bitchez!
aah, fuck - been waiting to find this sociopath's name once again linked to "flu" - from your link:
and from the Guardian, 28 March 2012,
http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2012/mar/28/bird-flu-mutant-strains
when this story broke late 2011, an article (can't find it now) noted that Fouchier was a specialist in HIV research. . . he had a wiki page, also gone. . .but here,
http://www.erasmusmc.nl/MScMM/faculty/CVs/fouchier_cv?lang=en
conspiracy theory, hmmm?
note to aldous : don't forget to look in the mirror when you say "you".
p.s.
http://www.zerohedge.com/news/2012-09-24/you-know-you-are-conspiracy-theorist-if#comment-2826037
You will all be re-programmed in the death camp of tolerance http://www.watchsouthparkonline.net/season-6/episode-14-the-death-camp-o...
Do they have cable TV?
Yes, but it only has CNBC.
"trespassing scum"
Jolly good show there, scum. Well done, I say.
NWO math: Not fooled = scum
Incredible!
Left off the list: If you know how to spell "Keynesian" ... you're on the other list ... unless you are one.
"tresspassing scum" should be the newest avatar here at ZH
You could have stopped after number 1. Critical thinking is no longer PC as you tend to question everything. Not what the powers that be wants. The only recourse is to move offshore and use multiple proxies to keep the boogieman from tracking you down.
Essentially, if you even started reading this article.... consider yourself 'marked'.
I only hope it's easy to tell y'all apart when it's considered 'a good thing'..
Git 'ur ZH shirts people!
YE http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qMeuHNYsJPQ&list=FLb5msS4NzVAUzOhylyJYt1Q...
-
That's soooooooooooo Orwellian sounding.
Damn, I'm screwed. :(
I'm only at 25. Need to try harder....
likewise 25/32 here
Is 28 "yes's" out of 32 bad? See you in the NDAA camps, I'll be the one chained to the third washing machine from the left in the laundry.
am i allowed to bring my cows to the fema camp so i can still drink raw milk?
32/32
Shit! I sucked it all ... 7 x Gitmo for life .... Feel guilty. Should I pray to Mekka or to Temple of James Dobson in Colorado ?
I got 24, so I'll just turn off my computer and go outside and wait for them to come.
Do not believe in anything simply because you have heard it. Do not believe in anything simply because it is spoken and rumored by many. Do not believe in anything simply because it is found written in your religious books. Do not believe in anything merely on the authority of your teachers and elders. Do not believe in traditions because they have been handed down for many generations. But after observation and analysis, when you find that anything agrees with reason and is conducive to the good and benefit of one and all, then accept it and live up to it.
Buddha
Kalama Sutta.
What's a critical thinking?!?
And reading a book well thats for ummm, those are, other peoples....
Yeah USA USA USA USA!!!
If Dancing with the Stars was a book....
That was the historical Buddha who said that 2500 years ago!!
"Ignorance is preferable to error, and he is less remote from the truth who believes nothing than he who believes what is wrong." -Thomas Jefferson (Notes on Virginia, 1782)
And add... "It occurs to you that RT may be as much of a parrot for Russian government propaganda as domestic news agencies are for US government propaganda"
i noticed something odd recently about RT... it has been posting quite a few stories putting 'pussy riot' in a positive light. anyone with a brain can see that pussy riot is NWO/hitlary clinton psy-op meant to destabalize the Putin government... so not so sure that you an peg RT as solidly behind the Russian government.
He missed the most obvious...
~~~
You Know You Are A Conspiracy Theorist If...
You're goyim...
Well, whaddya expect? They're goyim.
BTW, are there any goyim FOMC members or any goy who is not a TBTF Wall Street bank CEO?
Just curious, I cannot think of any goy in that group.
Even the one who used to do the dirty work of injecting daily QE3 rumors between 3-4 pm is not goy.
Update: Goyims are 98% of US population, but only ~20% of FOMC members are goyims. Looks like the FOMC needs an affirmative action so it represents US population and not Wall Street bank CEOs.
Good how you always redirect to the Jews. Fucking obvious.
I can redirect too.
"Who are the culprits behind all this?
The bosses. The corporate elite. The heads of the state's most powerful and well-connected coal-mining company. Revealed here as a cabal of seemingly unscrupulous, bottomlessly greed-crazed creeps who have been systematically tearing up the land, breaking laws and polluting the environment for decades, but are protected by their money and power and by the many politicians -- up to and including the president and vice president of the United States -- whom they've bought and paid for.
Who will fight them? Who can fight them?
The Last Mountain is about something happening right now, in Coal River Valley: the ravaging of the land and the brutalization of its people by unabashed, unchecked corporate and political greed.t's an account of the battle between the residents of Coal River Valley (and their champions), and a company called Massey Energy -- the biggest coal-mining operation in West Virginia, and the third biggest, revenue-wise, in the country.
Those goyim will send troops to the Middle East and fight a war for us.
Do what I say, not what I do, you goyim! Jews don't eat pork, goyim eat pork.
Who doesn't love bacon?
Bad guys, that's who.
"the ravaging of the land and the brutalization of its people by unabashed, unchecked corporate and political greed.t's an account of the battle between the residents of Coal River Valley (and their champions), and a company called Massey Energy"
I have absolutely nothing against the Jews (the majority of Jews are honest and wonderful people), but it is hard to dismiss these facts (I would have the same concerns about Cosa Nostra infiltrating our goverment: if 80% of FOMC members were Italians, 90% of Wall Street bank CEOs were Italians, and 3/4 FOMC chairmen were Italians, and FOMC policies were heavily rewarding Wall Street banks):
Jews are only 2.1% of US population. But 80% of FOMC members are Jews, and 90% of TBTF Wall Street bank CEOs are Jews. 3/4 of last FOMC chairmen were/are Jews and all 3 implemented disastrous for the country policies (but extremely lucrative for Wall Street banks).
Arthur Burns (Jew), disastrous money printing policies that culminated in 15% hyperinflation, stagflation and severe 11% unemployment recession.
Paul Volker (goy), cleaned up the Arthur Burns mess, Wall Street banks feared him
Alan Greenspan (Jew), bubble blowing economics, The Great Depression II
Ben Bernanke (Jew), continuation of Greenspan policies, Arthur Burns-like money printing insanity, to be continued
We've already discussed this ad infinitum on ZH. You keep bringing it up for diversions from your CIA manual. Why are so many blacks in sports or women in catering?
For the same reason so many Jews are involved in banking, financialization, debt-manipulation, usery, and ponzi-scheming: they're good at it.
A simple-minded answer from a simple-minded idiot. The answer is what work the rulers allow.
What happened to your ugly albino girlfriend? Pig.
P.S. Why don't you do something useful with your whistle like shove it up your ass
are you jew?
in addition, dont you have any valid argument? so SHUT UP
Just ask Bernie, Madoff with 50 billion from supposedly smart investors or the Junk bond king himself Micheal milken who now has his own globaliist think tank. Like you said they are good at it that is one of the reasons the Nazis hated them
Nice redirect to bread and circus...FAIL
It's hard to dismiss the fact that they're all men. Some argue that even Tim Geithner is a man.
As for the "90% of TBTF Wall Street bank CEOs", where do Vikram Pandit, Jim Gorman, Brian Moynihan, Brady Dugan and Jamie Dimon fit?
Right in with John the slime corzine. maybe they are starting new hedgefund
Gorman and Dimon fit very nicely indeed.
One a Roman Catholic graduate of Xavier College, the other Greek Orthodox. Oh, you meant they're both men! Silly me.
>Looks like the FOMC needs an affirmative action
Do you really want to join in on their criminal, beastly, and atavistic behavior?
No, I was just poking fun at hypocritical policies of the democrats (and the majority of Jews are happened to be the democrats).
I know the Jews control the world. They are so powerful. Wait, I think I mean the oil CEO's who are 99% Christian and take us into wars for their profit.
Sorry to inform you, but contrarily to the liberal media propaganda, Iraq war was not over oil. It was because of Israel.
Remember those Iraq scuds bombing raids killing Jews and terrorizing Israel? Why do you think Israeli Intelligence told us Iraq had WMDs?
Close but no cigar...the Iraq war II was for one reason...Saddam told the world that he was no longer going to accept DOLLARS for their oil which is unacceptable to the world banking cartel.
"Close but no cigar...the Iraq war II was for one reason...Saddam told the world that he was no longer going to accept DOLLARS for their oil which is unacceptable to the world banking cartel."
When Nixon closed the gold window he needed someting else to back the dollar, but oil was too cheaply priced. The "oil shortage" drove the price up, american dollars flowed into KSA, KSA bought treasuries directly from the US Fed in NY. The Saudi dollar deposits were vast and loaned to American companies and less than market rates to ensure American business development and global expansion. In turn the KSA got interest on their deposits, but paid a tax, inflation. Saddan was so pissed at the US for duping him into invading Kuwait, then destroying his army and making him look bad that he decided to play his ace, selling oil in other currencies to break the foundation of the petrodollar. Petrodollar warefar is underway. Who else is foolish enough to try something like this? Iran - they threatened to open then opened the Irandian Oil Bourse pricing oil in various currencies. This is Iran's crime. It has nothing to do with Israel or WMDs.
No, it's both vectors. The dominant/parasite Israel half of Isramerica wants Iran taken down for its own State reasons. The subordinate/host American half is indeed about the petrodollar, w/o which the Ponziconomy will collapse.
No Israeli made crisis will go to waste by the rest of the criminal greed class.
I've wondered about this myself, I think they just bring up PR now and then to show themselves as not being uncritical of the Putin government altogether. If RT is propaganda it is pure genius in its simplicity, just let 'em have the truth!
Wait.... Pussy Riot is against President Puta?
"It occurs to you that RT may be as much of a parrot for Russian government propaganda as domestic news agencies are for US government propaganda"
lol...well, we know at least fourteen readers missed the critical thinking component of the test ;-)
Plus one RP.
If anybody thinks RT is any more "free and fair" than Fox or MSNBC, then he is just somebody's butt man.
I second that....
JPMorgan Chase, the Wall Street mega bank now under criminal probes for losing billions of FDIC insured deposits in risky derivative trades, for years has been one of the dinner hosts of an unseemly industry trade and lobby group established by none other than the Federal Reserve Bank of New York, its own regulator.
http://www.secretnews-compact.com/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=8494:did-jpmorgan-host-a-secret-meeting-on-libor-with-7-members-of-the-ny-fed&catid=1:latest-news&Itemid=50
who told you?
you didn't think that yourself....
...someone thought that for you.
http://berkeley.intel-research.net/arahimi/helmet/
Meanwhile, over in "professor" Krugmans economics class at Princeton, he's just phoning it in now ;-)
http://www.phogulum.com/wp-content/uploads/brokenwindow.jpg
-- if you do not consume soda
-- do not eat twizzlers
-- use non-toxic products
-- do not eat processed shit
-- deem Krugman a moron
-- refuse to vote for either party
vast-dom, -- If you stack any form of precious metals.
stacked as suppositories, and still they broke down the door and probed most painfully before they confiscated it all.
--- own a boat
double points if you own a boat which sits at the bottom of any body of water.
Krugman is not a people
But wait... he didn't build it alone ...
I'd give you a 10+ if I could just for the Krugman comment.
~~ you don't consume soda, & twizzlers because you understand the toxicity of High Fructose Corn Syrup
~~ you understand why over 70% of supermarket products contain GMO soy & corn derivatives
~~ you can read the small print on ingredient labels, and don't buy ANYthing with a list longer than 10
~~ YOU DON'T STILL BANK AT A BAILED OUT CRIMINAL BANK, no excuses
~~ YOU DON'T STILL BUY INTO THE VOTING SYSTEM DUALITY
~~ you're prepared to define your usage of language when asked to
~~ you are aware of what's happening in the skies above you, and why
thank you. garbage in/garbage out
*nods*
in agreement.
"~~ you are aware of what's happening in the skies above you, and why"
Planetary alignment?
You gotta get on board with the tinfoil weirdness factor...they're spraying us (AND THEM) with something in commercial jet fuel...aluminum and what not.
Now why they would poison themselves and their children is beyond me...but hey, roll with it ;-)
well, given that the planets align daily in some fashion, and always have, sure, I'll agree with that. in fact, I'll add that there is a pretty potent line-up at this weekend's full moon. . .
if you're at all interested in what's happening "in the skies" of most NATO countries daily, then you'll no doubt use your internets to find some answers. . .
here's a random link to get you started,
http://www.geoengineeringwatch.org/
there are, of course, hundreds and more, of all flavours, just like any good "conspiracy theory" issue - dis-info, distraction, observations, stats & some truths even - but of course, you'll be the decider of which is which.
best wishes.
You may enjoy this...
Chemtrails They Live, We Sleep - YouTube
My best wishes to you also.
aye, that vid had some hilarious pairings in the planes. . . it's good to see the subject getting a wider audience, hopefully peeps will be encouraged to look into more of the stuffs featured symbolically in the video.
take care.
oh, & anyone looking to mitigate the accumulative effects, zeolite appears to be the most comprehensive chelating agent available so far. (no need for fancy products, just get the clay, 1 tsp. day in glass of water, over a few months for deeper clearing)
CA, good updates on matters thus are few and betwqeen Far ;-)
Hope you're well.
ori
just dropping a few hints here, as not so many are interested in what they're not already interested in, heh.
no doubt you are aware of the cardinal nature of planetary aspects incoming. . . pluto in capricorn squaring a full moon is bound to have some re-percussions, somewhere. . . and when we factor in the uranian nature of this particular moon, well, expect the unexpected, yes.
US Sibly chart shows venus, jupiter close, sun wide - all in cancer, so wide cardinal grand square. . . archetypes (we love those, ha!) of money/values, expansion/beliefs, and self-identity. . . not very hard to see correlations, hmmm.
sending peace-full echoes back to you. . . sliding into the last quarter now. . .
:-) Good to read CA talk.
Drop me a line when called?
It's been a heck of a year, eh?
ori
you eat out of your garden
you think a leaf of spinach holds more value than a dollar bill
you think the only company more evil than Goldman is Monsanto
you'd call bankers dirt bags if it wasn't such a compliment
- - and, at the mention of these items on the list . . . you don't have a completely blank look of incomprehension on your face, as would 90% of Americans
- - you actually read the items on the list without going into a fit of (bogus) 'ADHD' which is nothing more than the result of years of public 'education' and television
i tasered myself, took a bus to the cop shop, turned in my books, and resigned to the fact that I will spend the rest of my life in a prison ship in the middle of the ocean as the radiated water laps at the stern.
but you did not turn in your iGadgets for which you shall be waterboarded, then put into solitary. (the guard found the gold in your cavity, but that went unreported.)
You could escape to Argentina. Hey, it worked for the Nazis.
more like in the US, including the biowarfare lab at plum island, working for uncle sam... operation paper clip.
And BNL , before it was BNL
And BNL , before it was BNL
Correction on this one:
"You think politicians that push for war should be sent to fight on the front lines. If they are unable, they should go anyway."
Sure, if they are paying for it...
or if you understand the meaning of one or any of the following acronyms:
NWO GGG AU/AG BTFD WTC7 NDAA FEMA FOMC ECB/IMF LTRO/LSAP........ZH
Lauren Lyster is much more attractive than Max Kaiser, but I am definitely loyal to RT...
EDIT: RT IS available on Dish