Quote Du Jour From Jean-Claude

Tyler Durden's picture


Remember Jean-Claude Juncker? The guy who promised he would quit his unelected post in Europe's neo-vassal imperial council, and tend to his garden or something due to the endless acrimony between France and Germany, only to clarify later he lied? Well, here he is again


Got it. Of course, this is the same guy who said "When it becomes serious, you have to lie." It is, again, serious.

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Tue, 09/25/2012 - 14:04 | 2828717 prains
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you've dripped some shcnaubel on your merkels

Tue, 09/25/2012 - 14:09 | 2828736 LULZBank
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Tue, 09/25/2012 - 14:13 | 2828757 Careless Whisper
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The Careless Whisper QUOTE OF THE DAY and Threadjacking


QUOTE OF THE DAY (shouted at what could be the Best/Most Hilarious Protest of 2012):

You will depart immediately before we set the dogs on you. 

(Robert Venables -- a member of the Queen's Counsel -- in response to Black Tie Protestors who crashed the retirement dinner of HMRC (think IRS) Boss David Hartnett, honored for helping the tax avoidance lawyers)


Mister Venables Web Site:


Mister Venables Costume That He Wears To Court:


Black Tie Protestors To Crash Polo Matches Next:






Tue, 09/25/2012 - 14:21 | 2828792 JPM Hater001
JPM Hater001's picture

Man who up arrow own comment down arrow his intellect.

Tue, 09/25/2012 - 14:31 | 2828828 IndicaTive
IndicaTive's picture

Hey you're right. Now I do feel a little less intelligent.

Tue, 09/25/2012 - 14:31 | 2828829 Taint Boil
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I did an up arrow on myself once [accident] and I felt like a dirty whore .... kinda hot actually.

Tue, 09/25/2012 - 14:43 | 2828877 MsCreant
MsCreant's picture

So that's why politicians do what they do. Gotta try it myself. Maybe I'll run for office... 

One up vote for meeeee. And youse too Taint Boil.

Tue, 09/25/2012 - 14:24 | 2828798 diogeneslaertius
diogeneslaertius's picture

how dare you attempt to impugn the unquestionable honor of HMRC

you are clearly one of these white al-qaedas weve all heard so much about


"breeding Randolph, its in the blood."

Tue, 09/25/2012 - 15:38 | 2829188 DutchR
DutchR's picture

Deer meets headlight moment, thanks CW.

Tue, 09/25/2012 - 14:05 | 2828722 MiltonFriedmans...
MiltonFriedmansNightmare's picture

Que Euro break-up in 3,2,1.....

Tue, 09/25/2012 - 14:08 | 2828732 mckee
mckee's picture

DOH! I was just a bit too slow...

Tue, 09/25/2012 - 14:06 | 2828726 mckee
mckee's picture

Euro breakup in 5,4,3...

Tue, 09/25/2012 - 14:06 | 2828727 slaughterer
slaughterer's picture

Why is it that European leaders keep embarassing themselves in the face of the world by always getting it wrong time after time after time, and then lying about? 

Tue, 09/25/2012 - 14:12 | 2828745 Conrad Murray
Conrad Murray's picture

Drop the "European" and swap politicians for leaders and you have a foundation for understanding why...THE END IS NEAR!!!

Tue, 09/25/2012 - 14:12 | 2828751 MsCreant
MsCreant's picture

Because they don't give a shit? Because they are brazen, arrogant, and above the law? Because they are Psychopaths who do not know the emotion embarrassment? 

Oh, sorry, I forget I'm not supposed to answer rhetorical questions. 

Tue, 09/25/2012 - 14:13 | 2828755 JPM Hater001
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Wait I know this one...

People let them

Tue, 09/25/2012 - 14:31 | 2828818 Dr. Engali
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Did hear the Howard Stern interview voters? Listen to it and that will answer you question. They are so fucking stupid they think Paul Ryan is black and running as Obummer's veep.

Tue, 09/25/2012 - 14:07 | 2828731 LULZBank
LULZBank's picture

Time to short Euro?

Tue, 09/25/2012 - 14:14 | 2828760 JPM Hater001
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It took you this long?

Tue, 09/25/2012 - 14:48 | 2828901 dracos_ghost
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Soros and Rothschilds shorted at 1.21. If those insiders can't figure it out, we're all doomed ;)

Tue, 09/25/2012 - 14:10 | 2828739 Hedgetard55
Hedgetard55's picture

Well, no one here thought Ben would go full retard on QE3 two months before the election either. I sure didn't and neither did my mentors kito or Graham Summers.  :~)

Tue, 09/25/2012 - 14:12 | 2828752 Jlmadyson
Jlmadyson's picture

Just underscores how bad Benny knows it really is out there.

Tue, 09/25/2012 - 14:32 | 2828806 cougar_w
cougar_w's picture

Well I thought he would QE to the moon, and said so in a comment, and calculated the timing accurately backwards from the election day because the US election is what would drive the decision, and nothing else.

I was right, but for a very simple reason that doesn't get much play:

We are in the end-game. Nothing matters now except holding the center of the playing board until every other player has been driven off the edges. Every move is now predetermined by the pace of change. The players have few actual choices. They have no time for strategy. It is all tactics now and nothing else.

In the race to the bottom, the last to arrive is the winner. Bernanke waited as long as he could to time QE3 for the elections. He plans on winning, and to do that he has to stay at the helm of The Fed until the last dog is hung, and to do that Obama must win the election. They are bound at the hip, B+O. Europe may flail. China may crash. But Bernanke is going to personally ride this nuclear powered train right off the end of the rails.

In less than four years, it will have happened.

Obama might even be the last elected President of the United States of America. I give that a very low probability, but the probability is not zero. And if that happens Ben Bernanke will be holding the reins of the last operational Central Bank on the planet earth.

Think about that, and then explain to me why anyone thought he would not QE to the moon.

Tue, 09/25/2012 - 14:53 | 2828930 Hedgetard55
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Looks like I have a new mentor...  :~)

Tue, 09/25/2012 - 14:10 | 2828740 Jlmadyson
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Oh it's getting very serious again with all this Spain and Greece talk.

Which of course means nothing good for Draghi and friends.

Then ya got Plosser lambasting QE3 today which means nothing good for Bernake and friends.

Tue, 09/25/2012 - 14:15 | 2828766 JPM Hater001
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We could sent over Pelosi to help them work it out...

Maybe she can work in the Italian Post Office on the side.

Tue, 09/25/2012 - 14:27 | 2828814 diogeneslaertius
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srsly serious

thats the point though - its a cat batting a mouse between its paws

mean while they are stitching up the control paradigm and this is just foreground chess piece moving and titanic deck chair shuffling to keep the narrative fresh

classic Three-card Monte

Tue, 09/25/2012 - 14:12 | 2828750 pods
pods's picture

Doesn't he say the same shit every 3 weeks?

They gotta come up with some new plays.


Tue, 09/25/2012 - 14:13 | 2828754 diogeneslaertius
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Tue, 09/25/2012 - 14:14 | 2828762 LawsofPhysics
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Time to dig up some classic quotes from the european politico from the pre WWI/WWII era.  Expect the next quote to be "Hello, we are from the IMF and we are here to help."

Tue, 09/25/2012 - 14:16 | 2828770 diogeneslaertius
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the global banking cartel adjuncts are like UN love bombs, when they explode, hookers and blow comes out, followed rapidly by unicorms and sprinkles

Tue, 09/25/2012 - 14:17 | 2828772 Dr. Engali
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This sounds vaguely familiar like déjà vu or something ... You know a glitch when they change something in the matrix.

Tue, 09/25/2012 - 15:58 | 2829270 ZeroAvatar
ZeroAvatar's picture

Sometimes that happens when you switch universes. Any major emotions prior to the glitch?

Tue, 09/25/2012 - 14:16 | 2828773 LongSoupLine
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euro fucking trash.  Sick of reading Juncker lie after lie.  Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to pick up the NY Times, while on the couch in front of CNBC, for some needed factual relief.

Tue, 09/25/2012 - 14:17 | 2828776 Zola
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Tue, 09/25/2012 - 14:18 | 2828781 km4
km4's picture

Cash for Junkers right ;)

Tue, 09/25/2012 - 14:18 | 2828785 Vincent Vega
Vincent Vega's picture

I know I've lied to you in the past and I know I told you I would lie as necessary but you should believe me now because I'm telling you the truth. Yeah, got it.

Tue, 09/25/2012 - 14:19 | 2828787 diogeneslaertius
diogeneslaertius's picture

the planet doesnt have Owners who Own you, that would be a conspiracy theory!

as theoretical as skyrocketing food prices coupled with engineered cold world war 3 and your increasingly inability to use any form of paper currency to purchase sufficient quantities of tangible assets

it certainly is not by design

the elite love and honor humanity and would never see us as expendable human resources merely using up precious resources that they think belong only to them




Tue, 09/25/2012 - 14:26 | 2828811 davidsmith
davidsmith's picture

But he's right!!!  It's not in the interest of the kleptocrats to have the middle class upset prior to the middle class being destroyed.  Why would you announce a death sentence to the condemned, when you can simply carry it out with no comment.


So, no, the Eurozone will not break apart.  Trillions upon trillions in bailouts until the middle class starves to death.

Tue, 09/25/2012 - 14:31 | 2828825 gregga777
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The amount of cash in circulation is about $829 billion ccording to the latest Federal Reserve Bank numbers for 2009. And over half of that is outside the United States. Bank DEPOSITS alone are over $10 trillion, including time deposits such as CDs, as of about March 2012. That means there are only about 5-cents in cash to cover each dollar on deposit. Better start your bank run now!

Tue, 09/25/2012 - 15:04 | 2828995 Junior Prepper
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The banks will prevent a bank run by having the government outlaw cash. It's a barbaric relic after all, this paper stuff.

Tue, 09/25/2012 - 14:36 | 2828849 The Alarmist
The Alarmist's picture

mistaken <> wrong

Tue, 09/25/2012 - 14:39 | 2828858 Joebloinvestor
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This guy and Von Rumple are two of the worst humans ever.

Although given what the EU has to offer (except Nigel) might be the "cream" of the LIARS.

Wed, 09/26/2012 - 04:10 | 2831055 Colonel Klink
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Cream of the liars, you mean as in shit floats to the top of the cesspool?

Tue, 09/25/2012 - 14:39 | 2828859 q99x2
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He is threatening to outlaw outlawed shortselling.

Tue, 09/25/2012 - 15:01 | 2828971 RiskAverseAlertBlog
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Looking forward to the CNBC interview confirming all is well.

Tue, 09/25/2012 - 16:55 | 2829515 Non Passaran
Non Passaran's picture

Name's Bonds. Junck(i)er Bonds.

Hey Juncker, FUCK YOU, you thieving motherfucking scumbag!

Oh, and I'm short the Euro and long zee gold. Fuck you very very much.

Tue, 09/25/2012 - 20:44 | 2830456 zippy_uk
zippy_uk's picture

Look - you guys don't get it. For the greater European good I need to sacrifice your jobs, properity and future in general so I can keep my job. well , I am keeping my job so everything looks fine from here.

Wed, 09/26/2012 - 02:34 | 2830994 Andy Lewis
Andy Lewis's picture

This just in...Jean-Claude Van Damme replied: "Aaaaaaaagggghhhhh!!!!!!"

Wed, 09/26/2012 - 04:09 | 2831054 Colonel Klink
Colonel Klink's picture

Sounds pretty close to an official denial to me.

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