USPS Bailout Imminent: Postal Service Will Miss September 30 'Mandated' Payment

Tyler Durden's picture

Color us unsurprised by this litte gem (via Bloomberg):


Miss a payment here, miss a payment there; never mind. It would appear that everyone wants to be bailed out before the election so they can pledge votes for taxpayer cash

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PrintingPress's picture

Did you know you could print your own stamps at home!


And why are they sending out e-mails!?  Isn't that the competition? 

buckethead's picture

Operating and Maintaining a Postal Service is mandated by the US Constitution.


(One of the few things the feds do that is authorized by the constitution)


Just sayin'

SemperFord's picture

While it may be under the Constitution is not very efficient for most large packages and these mother-effers toss heavy packages and lose them at will. Our company was using that new box where no matter the weigh it was just $15 bucks and customers would send us pics showing holes and parts missing when they arrived, that is if it arrived!

I still use the regular mail to pay some bills I can't do over the phone or have it taken from my checking account.

Gene Parmesan's picture

If they F with my junk mail it's pitchfork time!

Beam Me Up Scotty's picture

Its all about the junk mail.  The USPS is nothing more than another JOBZ program that is nothing more than digging ditches and filling them in.

Loggers cut down the trees so the paper mill can make the paper so the advertiser can print the junk mail so the postman can haul it to your house so you can throw it in the trash so the garbage man can haul it to the dump.  In the process nothing is produced.  99% of my mail goes right into the garbage.  Advertising is WAY overrated too. 

Zymurguy's picture

No, help the USPS out and stick it to the man by re-stuffing that junk mail back into it's return envelope and sending it back.

WillyGroper's picture

I take it a step further. If the postage paid envelope is rigid w/ excess weight, they get charged alot more for the postage. Shims, cardboard & shingles work nice. 

FeralSerf's picture

You can also paste it to a box full of rocks that you don't need and send them on their way.

AldousHuxley's picture

USPS missed out on the whole internet thing?


even barnes and noble caught on and invested heavily in ebooks to stay relevant.


anyway, not their fault. something about having to pay pension costs on the front end.


apple cofounder steve wozniak says he is getting Australian citizenship because of their fiber optic internet connectivity while US lags behind with shitty slow connections. slow internet = stick to controlled old media


Asia has mobile streaming video on buses!


3D printers are also here.


America about to become irrelevant soon.

HaroldWang's picture

Got to be a way Amazon could buy these guys out. Imagine that - world dominance for Bezos! Plus he's used to running businesses that don't turn a profit.

Tijuana Donkey Show's picture

I'll pass on being a Aussie, they censor the Internet. No porn in Australia, forget that high speed line, it's worthless without titties.......

Illusory logic's picture

AH said:

"anyway, not their fault. something about having to pay pension costs on the front end."

Zactly!  That was courtesy of W.  I am sure you can guess why he did that.  Can't have competition for the for-profit companies.  Hey, maybe W did want to limit big government by taking away government (related) jobs like USPS.  He tried to break the Post Office with a lead anchor around their neck.  Over 4 years later it just might be working finally.  Good job W!

12ToothAssassin's picture

Does this mean I can say Im going to miss a mortgage payment and get bailed out? Who do I call about this?

AldousHuxley's picture



or just walk away?


come back to the game only 7 years later?


I don't think you can do this in other countries where interest rates are global market rate and landlord owns you just like in the good old days.

max2205's picture

Fire them all...lets try it for a year and if it doesn't work out....well, fuck 'em

franzpick's picture

The bail-out vehicle has already been structured: Forever Bonds

Mr Lennon Hendrix's picture

So bailing out private for profit banking institutions that gambled their clients wealth away before keeping the constitute agency of federal government....that was bad?

Shit, well I am sure since Romney is such a genius he will know what to do!

sessinpo's picture

Isn't it interesting how you have taken a thread that mentioned no politics or candidate and the only thing you had to offer was to respond politically with a bias. But that is the liberal way. Discard the facts and act on emotion, even if it is bad for you.

SmallerGovNow2's picture

This is simply a $5 billion advanced payment on their pension (which CONgress forces them to do) but which congress does not do itself for SS and military and federal pensions.  The USPS has one of the best and "actually" funded/solvent pensions in the United States.  If the congressional oversight committee would get the hell out of the way and let the post office run itself like a business there would be no problem.  Fact is they will not let them close the offices they want to close and will not let them go to five day a week delivery which would save them billions per year.  Politicians are the main source of problems with the USPS... 

NotApplicable's picture

While the advanced payment issue is well known, their pension fund, like ALL others, is hardly solvent, but rather, still in the "functional" stage of the ponzi, thanks to Uncle Sugar.

There's simply no longer any such thing as solvency in a ZIRP eat ZIRP world.

SmallerGovNow2's picture

Point taken, maybe I should say "one of the better of the bad"...

Urban Redneck's picture

Yahoo Finance wants you back...

The USPS has one of the best and "actually" funded/solvent pensions in the United States. 

With a 100% Concentration Risk in Garbage, they aren't even partaking Wall Street's favorite past time (Fed front running)

required by law to be invested in "interest-bearing securities of the United States" or other investments that meet statutory specifications (5 U.S.c. § 8348(c)-(e))

Go Tribe's picture

All the more reason to put email and the internet under Fed control. Use that postal service clause like the commerce clause. /fear&sarc

GoodMorningMr.VanRumpoy...'s picture

True, the Postal service is one of the few things that is mandated by the Constitution.

But it's the current structure of the Post office that's unconstitutional.

Currently it's structured as a rare entity known as a "federal corporation".

Instead of going to a state government to get a corporate charter and incorporate, they go to Federal Government, and through lobbying and legislation get a "charter" from Congress.

Anyone who had to take a civics course in High school usually covered the Supreme Court case, Mcculloch V. Maryland (1819). Unfortunately, they indoctrinate kids with the sheeple Verizon of the case: "oh Congress invoked its implied powers under the necessary and proper clause of the the Constitution to further it's express powers under the Constitution."

What this abomination of a supreme court case actually stands for is the proposition that it is necessary and proper for Congress to create an incestuous merger of federal government with private interests. In the case of Mcculloch it was a national bank.

The reality is it's neither "necessary nor proper" for the federal government to charter corporations* particularly a private banking institution.

And that's what the post office is in its current form. An unconstitutional, failing, federal corporation. Just like the Federal Reserve.

*the federal government doesn't just charter a corporation but a full fledged monopolies and cartels.

Dr. No's picture

Operating and Maintaining a Postal Service is mandated by the US Constitution

Go figure - the one thing the FEDs choose to follow.

svc101's picture

It only says they should establish post offices. (

Nowhere does it say they must run them.

exi1ed0ne's picture

Here is the full list.  My job description is longer, and with more duties to perform.  Where is my 2T$?


The Congress shall have Power To lay and collect Taxes, Duties, Imposts and Excises, to pay the Debts and provide for the common Defense and general Welfare of the United States; but all Duties, Imposts and Excises shall be uniform throughout the United States, except if you don't do something, then it is a Tax;

To borrow Money on the credit of the United States to infinity and beyond;

To regulate Commerce with foreign Nations, especially if they have oil or other tangible resources, and among the several States, districts, towns, streets, homes and your body's cells, and with the Indian Tribes and their casinos;

To establish an uniform Rule of Naturalization in the form of periodic amnesty so we have adequate numbers of fruit pickers and house cleaners, and uniform Laws on the subject of Bankruptcies throughout the United States unless it is college debt - then your screwed;

To coin Money out of worthless pot metal, regulate the Value thereof into an ever downward value-spiral, and of foreign Coin oil, and fix the Standard of Weights and Measures in the favor of the monied eliete and their sycophants;

To provide for the Punishment of counterfeiting the Securities and current Coin of the United States unless it is by the Federal reserve - then it's OK;

To establish Post Offices and post Roads as a means of providing junk mail, snazzy uniformed go-kart riders, and social justice employment opportunities;

To promote the Progress of Science and useful Arts, by securing for limited Times to Authors and Inventors the exclusive Right to their respective Writings and Discoveries for ever and ever and ever;

To constitute Tribunals inferior to the supreme Court for use in cases of terrorism, terrorist like activity, or anything we damn well don't like;

To define and punish Piracies and Felonies committed on the high Seas, and Offenses against the Law of Nations like selling oil for something other than the US dollar or not granting favorable status to US businesses for pipeline projects;

To declare War, grant Letters of Marque and Reprisal, and make Rules concerning Captures on Land and Water, fuck it that is too much work.  Save trees and just invade;

To raise and support Armies, but no Appropriation of Money to that Use shall be for a longer Term than two Years (whew!  good thing budgets are annual!);

To provide and maintain a Navy with kick ass nukulur powered vessels to totally own that motha fukkin sea;

To make Rules for the Government and Regulation of the land and naval Forces and everything else on the planet;

To provide for calling forth the Militia to execute the Laws of the Union, suppress Insurrections and repel Invasions, and ensure no 14 year old ever writes about the police state for school again;

To provide for organizing, arming, and disciplining, the Militia, and for governing such Part of them as may be employed in the Service of the United States, reserving to the States respectively, the Appointment of the Officers, and the Authority of training the Militia according to the discipline prescribed by Congress and make sure whistle blowers are indefinitely detained, tortured, and set as an example to those who might question orders;

To exercise exclusive Legislation in all Cases whatsoever, over such District (not exceeding ten Miles square) as may, by Cession of particular States, and the Acceptance of Congress, become the Seat of the Government of the United States, and to exercise like Authority over all Places purchased by the Consent of the Legislature of the State in which the Same shall be, for the Erection of Forts, Magazines, Arsenals, dock-Yards, and other needful Buildings all over the mutha fukkin world;--And

To make all Laws which shall be necessary and proper, conveys unfair advantage to the elected, or just convenient for votes for carrying into Execution the foregoing Powers, and all other Powers vested by this Constitution in the Government of the United States, or in any Department or Officer thereof.

GoinFawr's picture

"snazzy". Priceless! 'profitable' too? Fun rant though.

deez nutz's picture

Operating and Maintaining a Postal Service is mandated by the US Constitution.

so is the "coining" of money by CONgress.  The Constitution is just so "1700's"


exi1ed0ne's picture

The Constitution is like the Bible.

1) Both are really old. Like before Laverne & Shirley old.

2) People who claim covet them and be experts have often not read them completely.

3) Of those who have read them, fewer still interpret them in the context of the time they were written, or seek corroborating documentation that expand upon the ideas presented within for greater understanding.

4) Both are totally ripe documents to cherry pick the stuff you agree with and interpret it as literally as possible.

5) However they are broad enough to take the goofy shit that would make life tough (shellfish and blended fabrics are right out - Leviticus 19 dirty sinning bitchez!) but treat them as an allegory and interpret them in such a way as fits nicely with your world view. Bet you harvested all the grapes too you sons of Satan!

6) Both documents were written by flawed men and the precepts that defined the documents, while illuminating and inspiring, were broken even before the ink was dry.

BoNeSxxx's picture

7)  Both are just like a software license agreement:  Most people just scroll to the bottom and say 'I agree'

Fred123's picture

Stupid Amercans cannot read their own Constitution. Nowhere is it mandated, it merely gives Congress the authorization to create it.

YungHungAndLegal's picture

Some time ago a friend alerted me to the fact that the USPS will pretty much deliver anything regardless of postage.  Everything that I've mailed in the last 6 months has had a $0.01 stamp on it.  All of it was delivered.  THEY DON'T CARE!  Could be a contributing factor if others are exploiting their apathy but saves $$$ when Christmas cards go out.

becky quick and her beautiful mouth's picture

this is totally true. if you do it out of your mailbox, the sometimes will be you for the missed postage and stop delivering mail if you don't pay it. but, if you just drop it off at the post office or in one of the blue bins, they always deliver it. they sometimes leave a postage due note with the recipient, but they neve rfollowup on it. i did it heavily last year when i found a big roll of postcard stamps ($0.03 i think?) and tried it. they delievered everything and never followed through on anything.

LongSoupLine's picture

Ok, I have a brilliant solution to save the USPS so hear me out...


If we have JP Morgan run the postage stamp program...

elementary's picture

How much did the U.S. Post Office lose in revenue when the Social Security Administration started paying recipients electronically? Oh the irony!

Vincent Vega's picture

If they had only bought AAPL....what were the thinking!?

Mr Lennon Hendrix's picture

They are thinking, "Good thing Obama saved us in '08....wait, he didn't?  Well maybe Romney will save us this time?  Maybe?  Maybe aliens will save us this time.....maybe....."

Tijuana Donkey Show's picture

Illegal aliens, from the planet NAFTA?

Mr Lennon Hendrix's picture

Didn't this happen last month?

slaughterer's picture

last month, this month, next month--does not matter anymore.  

Mr Lennon Hendrix's picture

I wonder if Bernanke balances his checkbook....

Dr. Richard Head's picture

No need to.  No checks that fucker writes will EVER bounce.  NSF?  He justs adds some zeros to his account balance spot and presto chango, problem solved.  Come on....this is Benconomics 101.  Get with the program. AHAHAH

Mr Lennon Hendrix's picture

He must be fun to go to strip clubs with.

Dr. Richard Head's picture

I think strippers frown upon digits being stuck into their g-strings.

Mr Lennon Hendrix's picture

Strippers in Sweden must not smile much.

Debtonation's picture

But how will the masses get their regularly issued spam mail?