US Nuclear 'Fort Knox' Cracked By 82-Year-Old Nun

Tyler Durden's picture

It's the weekend so forgive us this modest sidetrack but this 'Onion-esque' story was just too good to ignore.The company at the center of the Olympics' security debacle, G4S (whose directors resigned just yesterday over the "humiliating shambles") has gone one better. As Reuters reports, Megan Rice - an 82-year-old nun - cut perimeter fences and reached the outer wall where enriched uranium was stored at the US Government's nuclear storage 'Fort Knox' in Oak Ridge, Tennessee. Can you guess who was responsible for the 'outsourced' security that enabled this SNAFU? G4S' subsidiary Babcock & Wilcox Co. (B&W). Energy Secretary Steven Chu has said the incident was an important "wake-up call" for the entire nuclear complex. An investigation last month found a security camera had been broken for about six months and was part of a backlog of repairs needed for security at the facility. Several top-ranking NNSA officials have been 'reassigned' (Gulag?) but have no fear as B&W have stated that the active union workers involved will all be employed elsewhere. One more example of the ineptitude of government oversight, the unintended consequence of crony capitalism, or simply another 'fool-me-once...'/unpunished debacle?


Reuters: U.S. nuclear site ends security contract following nun's break-in

The U.S. government's "Fort Knox" of weapons-grade uranium storage has ended a contract with a unit of an international security firm two months after an 82-year-old nun and other nuclear activists broke into the site.


The managing contractor at the Oak Ridge, Tennessee, site, B&W Y-12, a unit of Babcock & Wilcox Co, said late on Friday it will terminate the contract with WSI Oak Ridge on October 1. WSI is owned by security firm G4S, which was at the centre of a dispute over security at this year's London Olympic Games.


The move came after the National Nuclear Security Administration (NNSA), an Energy Department agency, sent a letter on Friday to B&W Y-12 President Charles Spencer saying it had "grave concerns" about his company and WSI providing security at Y-12, the nation's only site for storing and processing weapons-grade uranium.


The letter recommended that B&W terminate the subcontract with WSI and work with it to take over security operations after the July 28 break-in.


The nun, Megan Rice, and two others cut perimeter fences to reach the outer wall of a building where enriched uranium was stored. The site was shut temporarily after the breach.


An investigation by the Energy Department's inspector general last month found a security camera had been broken for about six months and was part of a backlog of repairs needed for security at the facility.


The NNSA repeated on Saturday that Energy Secretary Steven Chu has said the incident was an important "wake-up call" for the entire nuclear complex.


"The security of our nation's nuclear material is the Department's most important responsibility, and we have no tolerance for federal or contractor personnel who cannot or will not do their jobs," said NNSA spokesman Joshua McConaha.


After the incident the NNSA's top security official and two other federal officials were reassigned. In addition, top officials at WSI were removed and officers associated with the break-in were fired, demoted, or suspended without pay.


WSI's parent company, G4S, found itself the focus of a political and media storm this summer in Britain over outsourcing of security after it failed to provide enough guards for the Olympics.


WSI did not immediately answer a request for comment about the ending of the contract.


It seems few other jobs will be lost over the incident that brought new questions about the government's outsourcing of sensitive security operations.


B&W said in a statement it will offer employment to all Y-12 security police officers and active union workers with WSI Oak Ridge.


The NNSA and Department of Energy are engaged in reviews of security operations from the contractor, to the federal management, to the security model, McConaha said.


The final review will begin after Chu asks outside observers to analyze current protection of nuclear materials and explore more options for protecting the sites.


Chu received a classified review of the Y-12 incident earlier in the week by the department's health, safety, and security office.

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zilverreiger's picture


dougngen's picture

Cuz unions encourage laziness/incompetence. Just check with the Chicago schools.

Troll Magnet's picture

Send that nun to Fort Knox!

PS. I just love how our tax dollars are being so wisely spent.

Skateboarder's picture

I'd rather have nuns be referred to as ninjas than crusty-nerd programmers...

JPM Hater001's picture

Why did the nun break into a nuclear material storage facility?

No, I actually want to know...but there is still a punch line...

She finally wanted a hot rod.

krispkritter's picture

Knock, knock!

Who's there?


Nun who?

Nun-ya damn business! (proceeds to break in...)

Redhotfill's picture

Thought you were going to say something about nuclear powered batteries for her vibrator.

Bicycle Repairman's picture

So let me get this straight.  We undergo proctological exams at the airport, but 82 year old nuns can waltz into Oak Ridge?  Just who is the joke on?

KK Tipton's picture

Security Theatre at it's best.

The Emperor does not have clothes. No matter what he says.

zerozulu's picture

A christian nun is equal to a Muslim Mullah with beard and turban in religion terms. Did we see any news from Muslim world like a chrisalban are close to take over US nuclear assets?

Uncle Remus's picture

A christian nun is equal to a Muslim Mullah with beard and turban in religion terms


Ar-Pharazôn's picture



i bet you never spoke with a noun.


and sir, you're an idiot.

Ar-Pharazôn's picture

there is a big difference between 'flu and ebola.

NidStyles's picture

Those dollars clearly say Federal Reserve note on them, so they are not your's.

Acet's picture


Greedy managers and corrupt officials setting up contracts where they personally get big fat slices of the action (either directly or indirectly through promotions and bonuses) while the cheapest monkeys they can get are hired for peanuts and any not-in-your-face-visible functions (like maintenance) are starved is what creates this kind of situation.

Same reason why G4S failed in providing security for the Olympics:

  1. They tried to pay peanuts and couldn't find enough monkeys
  2. They "arranged" to get their contract written in such a way that they will not have to pay a single cent in penalties for non-compliance and might even end up being paid the full amount

This is happening all over in our society: any kind of company were there is not a firm, single controlling interest is thoroughly permeated by this kind of slimy leech from the highest position down. While politics is a enormous cesspit and the state is thorughly taken over by politically-nominated slimeball managers who are in it for numero uno only.

Frankly, those that knee-jerk blame unions for anything are the kind of idiot that enable this kind of filth to survive and prosper. You, sir, make me sick!

absente reo's picture

You make some interesting points, some of which are plausible, perhaps persuasive, but



Same reason why G4S failed in providing security for the Olympics:

  1. They tried to pay peanuts and couldn't find enough monkeys
  2. They "arranged" to get their contract written in such a way that they will not have to pay a single cent in penalties for non-compliance and might even end up being paid the full amount



In respect of point 2, G4S has booked losses of £50 million (widely publicised - see for example How does that accord with your claims in point 2?


JOYFUL's picture


..."You can't treat the working man this way. One day, we'll form a union and get the fair and equitable treatment we deserve! Then we'll go too far, and get corrupt and shiftless, and the Japanese will eat us alive!" --Season 4 Episode 17 SIMPSONS'\ `Last Exit to Springfield''...

wherein Homer serves as interim president of local 643 - International Brotherhood of Jazz Dancers, Pastry Chefs, and Nuclear Technicians
Uncle Remus's picture

Hey Beavis, you screamed that in your "hands on the keyboard" voice.

And if you didn't know the answer to the question before you asked it, you a) shouldn't have asked it and b) aren't paying attention.

SilverDoctors's picture

For those who missed the other Reuters story this weekend that should be something out of the Onion (as the Tyler's haven't commented on it yet), US Disctrict Judge Robert Wilkins overthrew the CFTC's position limits rule last night, which was scheduled to go into effect Oct 12th. 

Naturally it was announced on a Friday night after the markets were closed with little to no media attention. 
Now we know why the commercials have been massively increasing their net shorts in gold and silver over the past few weeks just ahead of position limits...Mr. Dimon had already paid the judge.
These markets are a disgrace.  Long live the manipulation of all markets.

kliguy38's picture

Thanks for info.....not a big way or another unclogging that toilet just ain't gonna happen without an implosion from the "physical" side of the equation.....QUIT BUYING PAPER GLD GDX etc.......

lasvegaspersona's picture

Silver Doctor

thanks for the update &

even if there is not much we can do about this in the short term, it does reinforce the idea that there is a rising desperation on the part of those who's job it is to pretty up the dollar. Each of these outrageous efforts is one more sign of their fear and one step closer to the great reset.

Nobody For President's picture

Yeah, I saw that sneaking by in the Saturday newspaper, buried on page 4 or so. Scumbags triamphant! The so-called markets are way beyond disgrace - ditto the so-called legal system.,

Temporalist's picture

Where is that nun?  Is she locked up?  And her cohorts?  That means that all Christians are terrorists right?  The pope is the mastermind perhaps?

Maybe B&E is just this nun's bad habit...

Uncle Remus's picture

Holy mushroom cloud Batman. The Templars are trying to acquire nukes and they are using women in field operations now!

Ludwig Van's picture



"That means that all Christians are terrorists right?"


"The pope is the mastermind perhaps?"

No. The Pope's not Christian.




jimmytorpedo's picture

Luciferian or reptoid alien from the lower 4th dimension?

Has that same reptile, " I eat little children" look as the queen

(of england amongst others)

StychoKiller's picture

Not keeping up with yer "Conspiracy Theory" subscription?   Try this:

Ludwig Van's picture



"Luciferian or reptoid alien from the lower 4th dimension?"


That's one spin, I suppose.

The tenets of Christ are incongruent with what's required to achieve such a high political post as that of the Pope.



Precious's picture

You sure do know a lot about pope'n dude.

KK Tipton's picture

Pope'n aint' easy...

He does have precisely the qualifications needed to be leading that church:

Pope Benedict - It's Raining Men - YouTube -

Look at the ravenous bunch behind him.

Disenchanted's picture




It's hard out here for a pope...

Ghordius's picture

"No. The Pope's not Christian." nah, how many believe otherwise (it's about belief, right?)? Or ponder about the fact that Jesus was a practicing Jew? That is recognized by Islam as inportant prophet before the last Prophet?
Or that nuns are notoriously headstrong ladies capable of quite astonishing feats (no, not thinking about the Blues Brothers)?

It's an open secret that the US sisterhoods are at loggerheads with the Vatican, lately. Practically quietly rioting.

Precious's picture

Sorry. Jesus was not a practicing Jew.

LongSoupLine's picture

She was overheard saying, "Fuck you Blankfein...THIS is how you do God's work asshole!!"

thecoloredsky's picture

Holy shit that was hilarious!

q99x2's picture

Maybe she worked for the CIA until she was 72.

Urban Redneck's picture

With the brilliant highy skilled professionals that the mighty US government employs, it's a wonder they can keep a lid on all their secret conspiracies...

Raymond Reason's picture

The people who know the secrets, know what happens to rats. 

Urban Redneck's picture

As far I can tell, the rats are free to do whatever they please.

Their voices are simply drowned out in the deluge competing information and disinformation campaigns of the major powers.

Most of the people writing accusations of conspiracy wouldn't recognize a conspiracy if they were neck deep in one themselves.

Taint Boil's picture



I do like nuns .......... is that wrong?

Uncle Remus's picture

A subset of the English drag fetish.

jimmytorpedo's picture

english lumberjack fetish

there, i fixed it for you

we knock over jockeys on rich peoples lawns

dressed as lumberjacks

Uncle Remus's picture

Are you a Log Cabin Republican?

jimmytorpedo's picture

Bricks and mortar anarchist.

Do you dislike lawn jockeys or rich peoples lawns?

I've always had a thing for lawn jockeys,..