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More Credit Suisse Employees Learn They Are About To Be Laid Off Via Department Of Labor Website

Tyler Durden's picture




 

Almost precisely a year ago we posted "268 NY Credit Suisse Employees Learn They Are About To Be Laid Off Via Department Of Labor Website." Now, a year later, irony has struck again, as this time 138 employees from an already substantially trimmed Credit Suisse office in Manhattan, find out courtesy of the DOL's WARN website, but certainly not their HR team who wants everyone as motivated as possible until the "Hammer Hits" day, they have just been made redundant in the critical Christmas bonus season between October and December 29, 2012. Instead now everyone will be undermotivated until they get to learn who gets sacked.  All that is left now are the actual identities of the pink slippees. The only other open question is whether the loss to US Federal and NY State tax revenues and US GDP will be offset by the more broken windows that are increasingly being discounted as a result of the ever rising unemployment and greater social unrest (not to mention part time NYPD jobs especially if sharpshooting is actually involved in their training this time).

From WARN:

Date of Notice: 10/4/2012

 

Control Number: 2012-0069

 

Rapid Response Specialist:  Edwidge Michel

 

Reason Stated for Filing: Plant Layoff

 

Company:
Credit Suisse Securities (USA) LLC
One Madison Avenue and Eleven Madison Avenue (one site)
New York, NY  10010

 

County:  New York | WIB Name: NEW YORK CITY| Region: New York City

 

Contact: Ketty K. Russeva, Managing Director, Human Resources

 

Phone: (212) 538-8263

 

Business Type: Financial Institution

 

Number Affected:  138

 

Total Employees:  -----

 

Layoff Date:  Will commence on or about 10/15/2012 and extend through 12/29/2012.

 

Closing Date:  -----

 

Reason for Dislocation:  Economic

 

ERNUM: 05-81657 

 

Union:  No bumping rights exist.    

 

Classification:  Plant Layoff

 

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Thu, 10/04/2012 - 13:40 | 2856358 Jlmadyson
Jlmadyson's picture

The pain coming post election will make 08 look like a field day.

Thu, 10/04/2012 - 13:41 | 2856362 slaughterer
slaughterer's picture

OT: WTI/Brent is saying today no regime change in Iran, and that we are likely going to have a war in Middle East BEFORE the election.  Cue the trading revenue and fees for Goldman.   

Thu, 10/04/2012 - 13:45 | 2856371 Dalago
Dalago's picture

Yea, those Neocons Israelis who want Romney in power have some wasted talent.

Thu, 10/04/2012 - 14:24 | 2856554 negative rates
negative rates's picture

I've heard about the 3am wake up call, now we have the 4pm financial firing squade call. Will it ever be midnight around here?

Thu, 10/04/2012 - 19:02 | 2857702 The Alarmist
The Alarmist's picture

Look at the bright side ... they have more notice than a lot of employees of several defence contractors.

Thu, 10/04/2012 - 13:42 | 2856363 LoneStarHog
LoneStarHog's picture

Well...this will make real estate go nowhere but up in NYC.

Thu, 10/04/2012 - 13:43 | 2856370 slaughterer
slaughterer's picture

... it already has raised the real estate in Zurich, Munich and London.  

Thu, 10/04/2012 - 13:42 | 2856366 holdbuysell
holdbuysell's picture

It wouldn't surprise me if by now everyone at Credit Suisse has a shortcut in their browser to the WARN website, possibly even an auto-update RSS feed.

Thu, 10/04/2012 - 13:50 | 2856393 Urban Redneck
Urban Redneck's picture

Credit Suisse employees domiciled in Switzerland actually have federally mandated INDIVIDUAL employment contract (termination) rights... Those occasional relocation packages (even if they have pay cuts attached) are worth carefully considering and evaluating-

Thu, 10/04/2012 - 13:43 | 2856367 knukles
knukles's picture

IzOK.  They'll all get new jobs maintaining the new, improved and expanded WARN website.
Particularly maintaining timely functionality with Defense Contractor employees immediately prior to elections.

Thu, 10/04/2012 - 13:43 | 2856372 Meesohaawnee
Meesohaawnee's picture

not like you need analysis anymore since all data and fundamentals rendered useless. I could get a 6th grader to try and pic what the algos will do based on politics. Really all it is right now. So much for that Harvard Econ degree. Thank the printer for one of the many things hes destroyed

Thu, 10/04/2012 - 13:46 | 2856374 slaughterer
slaughterer's picture

WTI/Brent: very, very psychotic. If the pit does not call the prices down before 2:30 something is seriously leaking.  

Thu, 10/04/2012 - 13:47 | 2856380 Meesohaawnee
Meesohaawnee's picture

would you be shocked. i assume all is leaked and frontrun unless the porn masters find otherwise

Thu, 10/04/2012 - 13:45 | 2856376 Skateboarder
Skateboarder's picture

"O GREAT INTERNET, kindly tell me if I still have my job."

"NO. You're fucked, son."

=(

Thu, 10/04/2012 - 13:49 | 2856387 slaughterer
slaughterer's picture

SPY +.73%

AAPL -.72%

WTI +3.76%

VXX -1.24%

Uh, something wrong here.    

Thu, 10/04/2012 - 16:22 | 2857169 LawsofPhysics
LawsofPhysics's picture

TVIX -2.72 %

Remain calm "All is well"

Thu, 10/04/2012 - 13:50 | 2856392 williambanzai7
williambanzai7's picture

Cry me a river...

Thu, 10/04/2012 - 14:03 | 2856433 Dr. Richard Head
Dr. Richard Head's picture

No Romney...I mean, no shit!  It reminds me of the great George Carlin who once said, "It's a great big club and you ain't in it."

One of my neighbors was put out on his ass from JP Morgan in April 2007.  He was a Regional Relationship Manager out of Manhatten for over two years.  This guy always had a wad of $10K in his pocket and more available at hand.  He thought he was a part of the club and BAM!!!! Fuck you. 

 

Thu, 10/04/2012 - 14:38 | 2856628 duo
duo's picture

When can we see the layoffs at Monsanto?  The whole company could disappear and the world would be better for it.

Thu, 10/04/2012 - 14:44 | 2856653 Dr. Richard Head
Dr. Richard Head's picture

But then what motivation would Indian farmers have for suicide?  You hearltess bastard.

Thu, 10/04/2012 - 15:51 | 2857024 NuYawkFrankie
NuYawkFrankie's picture

Good one! LOL!!!! 

And I see you're true to your name!  ;)

Thu, 10/04/2012 - 13:54 | 2856403 aerojet
aerojet's picture

Plant Layoff, LOL.  They need to update their categories since almost nobody works in a "plant" anymore--as if we were still part of an industrial-age economy!

Thu, 10/04/2012 - 14:05 | 2856446 Richard Head
Richard Head's picture

Oh it's a factory all right!

Thu, 10/04/2012 - 13:55 | 2856408 WALLST8MY8BALL
WALLST8MY8BALL's picture

Well at least the line at Shake Shack just got shorter!

Thu, 10/04/2012 - 14:00 | 2856424 Poetic injustice
Poetic injustice's picture

Would be nice to check on them in 2 years time to see what job offers they got and what wage. 10$/hour maybe?

Thu, 10/04/2012 - 14:03 | 2856436 Kaiser Sousa
Kaiser Sousa's picture

"bye , bye , miss america pie....."

Thu, 10/04/2012 - 14:04 | 2856437 blunderdog
blunderdog's picture

     find out courtesy of the DOL's WARN website, but certainly not their HR team

I don't get this...how does Tyler *know* they found out from the WARN site and not from internal sources?  Does one of him WORK THERE?

If it was leaked from some rank-and-file type, they might just have slept through that part of the end of quarter presentation or something.

Assuming it's true, anyway, the simple strategy is just to say, "we'll be making cuts over the next few weeks, but determinations aren't final--ongoing performance will be considered." 

If nothing else, that'll get management some blowjob offers.

Thu, 10/04/2012 - 14:04 | 2856440 Joebloinvestor
Joebloinvestor's picture

What, no Barry reprieve (until after the election)?

Thu, 10/04/2012 - 14:21 | 2856524 W10321303
W10321303's picture

It's a Great BIG Club......

 

Jeff Connaughton: Why Romney Should Attack One of Obama’s Greatest Political Vulnerabilities

By Jeff Connaughton. Connaughton was the chief of staff to Senator Ted Kaufman during the financial reform fight in 2009-2010. He is the author of the new book The Payoff: Why Wall Street Always Wins. Connaughton was a special assistant to Senator Joe Biden, a lawyer in the Clinton White House, and a co-founder of Quinn Gillespie & Associates, one of DC’s premier lobbying firms. He’s now retired from politics and lives in Savannah, Georgia. Cross-posted from JeffConnaughton.com.

Why has President Obama so far avoided responsibility for one of the most notorious failures of his administration, deciding not to pursue potential Wall Street crimes? Because Obama’s negative ads – and Mitt Romney’s own foibles — have successfully defined Romney as the candidate for the 1 percent. A recent Esquire/Yahoo! News poll shows that 58 percent think Romney would pursue policies that favor the wealthy, while just 23 percent say the same about Obama

Why hasn’t the Romney campaign exploited this vulnerability? Predictably, Mitt Romney won’t turn to President Obama during tonight’s debate and say “Your administration failed to hold specific Wall Street executive accountable. If I’m elected president, my administration will prosecute the powerful when they break the law.” That’s because, when it comes to Wall Street, we don’t have a two-party system. We have an ongoing Wall Street contribution party.

Read more at http://www.nakedcapitalism.com/2012/10/jeff-connaughton-why-romney-should-attack-one-of-obamas-greatest-political-vulnerabilities.html#sRrDc4qDoGDxfLet.99

Read more at http://www.nakedcapitalism.com/2012/10/jeff-connaughton-why-romney-should-attack-one-of-obamas-greatest-political-vulnerabilities.html#sRrDc4qDoGDxfLet.99

Thu, 10/04/2012 - 14:40 | 2856634 dolph9
dolph9's picture

Jump, you Fuckers.

Have a nice trip down.

Thu, 10/04/2012 - 15:17 | 2856838 Seasmoke
Seasmoke's picture

they are cutting 50% LESS employees.......BULLISH !

Thu, 10/04/2012 - 16:11 | 2857120 R_J
R_J's picture

Number of Misfits Affected 138

We are 138, we are 138, we are 138
We are 138, we are 138, we are 138
We are 138, we are 138
In the eyes of tiger

Do you think we're robot clean
Does this face look almost mean
Is it time to be an android not a man

The pleasantries are gone
We're stripped of all we were
In the eyes of tiger

We are 138, we are 138, we are 138
We are 138, we are 138, we are 138
8, 8, 8, 8, 8, 8, 8, 8, 8, 8, 8, 8, 8, 8
8, 8, 8, 8, 8, 8, 8, 8, 8, 8, 8, 8, 8, 8

Thu, 10/04/2012 - 18:04 | 2857515 Albertarocks
Albertarocks's picture

For the title of this article the following would have sufficed, since "Laid" means the same thing as "fk'd" donchya know?

"More Credit Suisse Employees Learn They Are About To Be Laid"

 

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