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Thursday Humor - The Climate-Adjusted Reason Obama 'Lost' The Debate
While some have blamed last night's 'performance anxiety' on the President's efforts to save our economy and not having time to practice, and others at Romney's 'bullying' of the moderator, it seems Al Gore has come up with the real reason - it's the altitude, stupid!
Via Mike Krieger of Liberty Blitzkrieg blog,
Need a laugh? Al Gore went on television and blamed Obama’s horrific performance during the debate last night on the altitude! This is epic. So according to Al Gore we should be very concerned should Obama negotiate any deals with any leaders in the capital cities of La Paz, Bolivia (11,942 ft); Quito, Ecuador (9,350 ft); Bogota, Columbia (8,612 ft); Mexico City, Mexico (7,350 ft) and Nairobi, Kenya (5,889 ft). For comparison Denver is 5,280 ft above sea level. For a full list of capital cities Obama should avoid if he gets a second term go here.
I have also figured out why our policy in Afghanistan is such a disaster. Kabul is higher than Denver at 5,873 ft.
Who let Al Gore out of his cage yesterday? Watch the video below and have a laugh!
oh, and by the way, even simple folk like us know that if you are prone to altitude sickness, a quick Diamox beforehand takes care of it (especially at a measly 5300 feet)...
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Al Gore invented the internet. Leave him alone.
Clint's Empty Chair could have done better last night.
What black man is not used to being high?
Must have been his white half that showed up?
Al Gore: I said Dapper Dan Palmaid! OMFG my hair!
This. Is. Super. Serial.
It was their anniversary. He probably banged his wife before the fight. Bad move.
I guess they are in the mile high club now eh?
pods
Very symmetrical and smart.
Fuck Al Gore. Both sides!
Poor Al (sniff) Sounds like he needs his third chakra released to help him process reality. Given the amount of hot air produced by Washington, to stop AGW we should send all the politicians to FEMA camps, to be educated, of course.
This is what happens when you sniff glue as a kid.
I guess he picked the wrong week to stop sniffing glue.
Seriously, can you image the impact the Choomwagon would have had at one mile elevation?
manbearpig can handle any altitude!
Could have used some of the "little bit of blow" he used to do.
He needed some of that Reggie Love but didn't dare on his anniversary.
Well, we can add this to his life-long list of ridiculous conclusions. Somehow people still listen and believe him. Must be all the Botox; it makes him look confident or it could just be that he's a complete fucking psychopath that believes his own lies. I'm thinking it's combination of the two.
Maybe Algore can give Obama one of his famous "massages" before the next debate...
Or Joe Biden according to rumors coming out of Chicago. It seems Obama likes older white men. Not that there is anything wrong with that.
Couldn't of ben that as I had heard they don't a let a woman into the bathhouse.
Skateboarder, I have to give Al credit on that one. I have no problems with ManBearPigs.
<-- It's more likely that Manbearpig is real.
<-- It's more likely that Obamney and Shalom will usher in a new age of economic prosperity.
What about ManBernKrug?
Do you mean Cereal or Surreal because I'm confused? Or perhaps I missed and earlier episode.
I believe that would be pomade. Palmaid is what's used to spank it.
Of course it was the white half that showed up, the goat herding darker Kenyan side is acclimated to much higher hills. Let's just hope the white half doesn't doesn't show up in Islamabad and take a trip up the karakorum highway to the country retreat for security consultations, or we'll be hearing about nuquular insecurity right before the mushroom clouds start popping along the pakeeeeeeeestani skyline.
As much as I fundamentally despise any incumbent running for re-election, I didn't think Obama's performance last night was that much worse than the other meat puppets. However, I really can't be bothered to sit through that debate again and pay even more attention to it.
Oooooooh. Pladizow..........thank you for taking me back to my southern roots!
Shit, my pack a day cancer stick smoking ass hiked up Haleakala in Maui at just over 10K feet and I could still form a sentence.
Well yeah but you brought along a teleprompter
Don't be jealous, you can have one too:
http://appadvice.com/appguides/show/teleprompter-apps
"In the opinion of the Chair, the 'ayes' have it, and the resolution is adopted." - RNC AND DNC
That's business as usual for elected governing bodies across the fruited plain. You just don't see it on TV every day.
I thought the other podium WAS empty?
Altitude change
Climate change
Hope and Change
Here is your change
*holds up sign that reads*
Lost my job, my house, and my wife. Spare some change?
yes, we can
Teleprompters just dont work above 1 mile Alt
Apparently, Hussein had everything against him last night:
Altitute
Aptitude
Attitude
As a side note, was it just me or O is starting to look more and more like W. I mean really, physiognomically; face shape, ears, eyes,...
Oddly enough, the hair too. I would imagine Romney's manicured grey stripes would merge, but then he would strip the equity from the remaining dark hair.
Or was it William Banzai 7 work?
He was praying that Obama got re-elected so he'd have another chance at the inside angle of packaging and marketing carbon tax credits...he wants to be a billionaire so he can pay Barry's higher tax rate....oh, that's after payng the utility bill for his home in Tennesee with a carbon footprint 20x the average American home. He's a greedy hypocritical fucktard dickwad who will say anything to suck cash out of stupid people.
Reminds me of the old joke.
A black guy was praying one day when God, for some reason, decided to answer him.
"Lord," asked the black guy. "Why are my legs so long?"
"So you can run like the wind through the jungle."
"Lord, why is my hair so kinky?"
"So it won't get caught on anything as you run through the jungle."
"Lord, why is my skin so dark?"
"So that you won't get burned by the sun's intense rays in the jungle."
And then the black guy asked, "Lord, why am I in Chicago?"
This one is good too:
A Zebra dies and arrives at the Pearly Gates. As he enters, he asks St. Peter, "I have a question that's haunted me all of my days on earth. Am I white with black stripes, or am I black with white stripes?"St Peter said, "That's a question only God can answer." So the zebra went off in search of God. When he found Him, the zebra asked, "God, please - I must know. Am I white with black stripes, or am I black with white stripes?" God simply replied "You are what you are." The zebra returned to see St. Peter once more, who asked him, "Well, did God straighten out your query for you?" The zebra looked puzzled. "No sir, God simply said 'You are what you are.'" St. Peter smiled and said to the zebra, "Well then, there you are. You are white with black stripes." The zebra asked St. Peter, "How do you know that for certain?" "Because," said St. Peter, "If you were black with white stripes, God would have said, "You is what you is."
Choomwagon, nuff said.
Just get some WH aide to give him a blow job before the next debate... problem solved.
I think he might have convinced all five of his viewers.
Flakmeister please pick up the white courtesy phone, Flakmeister white courtesy phone.
So Obummer was high?
Exactly, but I'm sure he has been higher than that before.
The Democratic National Convention in 2008 was in Denver... to which he spoke in a stadium for his acceptance speech.
But did he get there a mere few hours prior to addressing his loyal crowd?
Who knows.. but the crowd/media/anyone watching his speech wouldn't have cared. He could have stripped naked, broke out a bong with choom, and sung sweet Caroline and the crowd would have applauded him anyway.
No, just higher than usual.
Shows how smart Romney was...wearing that pressure suit and oxygen mask and all....cue face palm
At least the Oakland Raiders played hard the first half of the game in Denver
He created the internet.
He is a smoker you know
Choom Apoxia! He's only used to his brain being that high.
So Al what's your excuse for loosing a debate to an clown like Bush?
Bush created a persona that would be more appealing to voters, in which he acted as if he had average or slightly below average intelligence and used folksy terms, wore cowboy-style clothing, and was "more Texas than Texas". Getting your opponents to under-estimate you is a fantastic tactic.
Two words on how Dubya got elected: Daddy Bush.
Actually four words: Al Gore John Kerry
"it seems Al Gore has come up with the real reason - it's the aptitude, he's stupid!"
There, fixed it for ya.
Does anyone know a bigger douchebag than AlGore?
Don't think so, he captured that title long ago during the Twisted Sister hearings. Maybe Obama should have practiced against Dee Snyder.
Thinking....thinking....eh...I got nuthin'.
I don't know how that fat fuck continues getting air time. He's clearly full of antidepresants and alcohol, and likely narcotics. Don't these networks have any pride?
You sir, are giving antidepressants, alcohol and likely narcotics a bad name!
It was not the altitude..it was global warming.
A little too much choom beforehand perhaps?
Please dude, approved choom nomenclature is "total absorption."
Hot box the choom wagon, bitchez!
I guess some ideas are better left as ideas?
pods
Duh.
Mormons have a little dance, that cures snake bite, altitude sickness, and Dengue Fever. Bobblehead Biden should be plenty worried.
Lock box bitchez...
That actually was a good idea and the lack of it is shown the stacks of IOU's in the SS vaults instead of dollars. Al is still an idiot, though.
you cant put what already isnt there into a lockbox
remember, thats how clinton got his surpluses, otherwise they wouldnt even have been talking about a damn box of promises
Well...there were never any real "surpluses." For there to be a surplus, the government would've had to take in more in revenue than it spent. That really didn't happen during the Clinton years.
He had BUDGET surpluses, sure, but what good do those do you if you still need to burn money on off-budget expenditures? Actual debt held decreased a TINY bit during the Clinton administration, but that was just because of dramatically reduced deficits and thus debts that didn't need to be rolled.
The chart that makes Clinton's years look best is when you show a graph of "debt-to-GDP" ratio, because THAT dropped dramatically during the '90s. It's not like it had anything to do with what he did as a President.
Well, there you go that explains everything.
When you get a hold of one, those whoppers really carry at Mile High Stadium.
I didn't care enough to watch much of the debate, but there COULD actually be something to that altitude issue. Obama's already "oxygen-challenged" as a tobacco-user, and if good Mormon Romney's never touched a cigarette, I'd expect different responses.
Either that, or it's ManBearPig.
MANBERNKRUG!
Maybe he lost because he's a retard?
Sarc/off
Junked you because of the 'Sarc/off'
Gore is such a fucktard moron...
Not being a fan of Obama, it is very easy for me to say that by the end of the 'show' last night, he had 'cleaned Romney's clock' in a manner of speaking. It is clear that the Corporate Clown/Lapdog media is fully behind theGOP Serial Killer Master Plan to turn the U.S. into One GIANT slave plantation.
The misgided reconciler-in-chief needs to WAKE UP to the fact that you cannot reason, reconcile or negotiate with a rabid dog!
Go back to The Daily Kos. You're about as lucid as Obummer and you'll fit in a lot better over there.
WTF is wrong with you and all the liberals I've debated recently that act like that. It's like you all belong to some cult that promises to act as stupidly as possible and make fun of everyone (conservatives, independents, libertarians) that doesn't think or act like you.
Liberalism is a mental disorder.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R2F_hGwD26g
You can believe what you want, but...
Chris Matthews meltdown was a joy to behold:
http://www.realclearpolitics.com/video/2012/10/03/chris_matthews_freaks_...
Money quote:
"What was Romney doing? He was winning!"
If you've ever had a dog then you've shoveled up dog poop...remember what you observed on one of those day old turds when it slipped of the end of the shovel and landed upside down...all those maggots writhing in the sun? Chris Mathews brought that memory back to me!
Wow, for a minute I thought you were MDB trolling us again...but then I realized that MDB is very clever and smart. I can't say the same for you...
Here's guessing the Obama would be OK doing a deal in Kenya.
Mnt Kenya is 17,057 ft.
As a lifelong Floridian, when I lived in Denver I always kept some tissues in my pocket because I had nosebleeds at random times there.
Sometimes they rivaled Dan Akroyd's Julie Child bleeding out on Saturday Night Live.
It would have been hilarious if one or both of the parties to the debate had been stricken.
To the folks junking me: yes, I'm aware that schadenfreude is unseemly. But this is schadenfreude for something that never even happened to either of them. Well, not that we got to see, anyway.
Obama is conditioned to the other mile high clubs.
This is the same Al Gore that trots around the country parroting to us about reducing our carbon foot prints right?
The same Al Gore that has a combined electric/natgas bill of $30,000 dollars a year. Yes, $30 fucking thousand dollars, and he's telling us to not drive so much because the carbon is bad for us while he flies around on his private jet.
The same Al Gore that invented the internet?
Al Gore is a cunty fucking twat and the world would be better off without him on the god damned planet.
Yes. The same Al Gore that cruises all around the world in a private Jet - but I'm sure it's a green jet, right? Run on discarded vegetable cooking oil? No? It uses aviation grade jet fuel? Hmmm......
No.
Al Gores jet is powered by a blend of rainbows and magic. It actually cleans the air as it flies.
And his lawn is kept green by using salt water that is piped from the ocean using only gravity, then processed in his desalination system that is also powered by rainbows and magic.
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2010/05/17/photos-al-goree-new-8875_n_5792...
If you want to get specific its unicorn and skittle powered.
Al Gore needs to get one of those magical flying rickshaws of AnusMonotonous --- not only is it lightning-powered (thanks to Benjamin Franklin inventionism of US 'american' fabled past) and therefore green, but it could allow him to travel back in time and actually invent the internet in truth!
he did find manbearpig
MANBERNKRUG!
It's Blythe Masters that wants everyone and every business in America to have/trade/use carbon credits so we could all feel better about ourselves and eat mud and be at 1 with our dying planet..... though the idea is Albert Gore's.
Also, forgot to mention he was a recipient of the Nobel Peace Prize in 2007, and a grammy-award winning ex-politician!
+1 for the use of 'cunty'. That's a new one for me.
You're partly right. It's the stupid.
All that flying around on Air Force One has not kept him acclimated to high altitudes?
And it is good to see Al blaming it on something other than Global Warming
It was Manbearpig that made that loud thump backstage mid-debate. Put Obummer at unease.
... AANNNDDDD...., IT'S GONE....
People aren't buying the Al Qaeda lies anymore, so Global Warming is a good fallback. Bernanke, take note. House value dropping? Global Warming. Gas up at the pump? Global Warming. Groceries more expensive? Global Warming. Wife pregnant? Global Warming.
What do you expect?
Al to blame Barry?
I was expecting Barry to "blame the video", but that excuse has been used up.
I think he will do better in the next debate if he chuggs a 40, does a big fat line, and has a reefer.
He may still suck ass like he did last night, but he sure will feel better about it.
Go, Willard. Tie him to the top o' the car!
Gore does believe that Denver is so, so high since he spends all his time at his beach front home
Actually, what worries me is that the next debate might be in the Low Country region so that Oabma with be oppoessed by being to close to sea level. He can't be expected to perform under those conditions.
...might want to go deeper...i suggest:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Badwater_Basin
Doesn't matter, the US population will have forgotten Obama's lame performance by the weekend.
It doesn't matter because DEBATES don't matter. There are only two teams in the minds of most folks, and no one really cares very much what they say to each other on the teevee.
I believe Romney not only won over a larger percentage of undecideds last night, but I think he stole some moderate Democrats from Barry as well. Think about it, the Dems have been trying to use demogoguery and division to stir up hate and anger to get their base out to the polls. They have painted Romney as a poison the air, kill your grandma and starve your baby kind of candidate. Last night, for the first time, the world observed Romney and Barry in an unprotected, unmanaged anf free form environment. Romney was did not act like the pitbull that so many conservatives wanted. He gently dismantled our president and showed a side which many did not know existed. There are many Democrats who do not want to vote for Obama but were going to do so to make sure the party of baby killers and environment poisoners did not win the election. Last night Mitt Romney dispelled those myths and quelled the anger. I believe he pick up some Democratic votes and gave other Dems a reason not to show up at the polls. This debate win was much bigger than anyone realizes, yet. However, there are still two to go and either side can still win.
Hope springs eternal, I guess. Ratings may have sucked, though. Be sure to turn out if you love you some Romney.
http://politicker.com/2012/10/about-40-million-people-watched-the-debate...
I just don't think debates have much effect on the election. EVEN if the teevee show last night changed the opinion of every single viewer, that's only about 40 million people, and it's safe to say half of them won't bother to vote. Of the half that DOES bother to vote, how many will be in states which aren't in the tank for one party already?
We still have to go through the process, of course. Lots of advertising dollars are in play here, and that's the only reason they put that shit on the teevee in the first place--so folks'll get hungry and go out to Olive Garden afterwards, or maybe buy a new Toyota.
It's been Barry's election to lose, he started down that road last night. There were 58 million viewers last night:
http://www.mediabistro.com/tvnewser/debate-ratings-fox-news-tops-cable-n...
...the largest TV debate audience in history...no one knows how many of them will vote, however, polls taken in the next few days will be revealing. It will be interesting to see if Romney gets a bounce and if so how big. The two important polls will be of the independents and which way they now lean and of the likely voters and if they have changed their views as a result of th debate. Frank Luntz had a focus group of undecided voters of equal proportions of both parties...he asked them who they would vote for as a result of the debate. The answer was the biggest one way skew in his career of polling and it was in favor of Romney. Like i said, there are two more debates to go, so there is till a chance for either side to score major points and win the election. One thing I can say is it doesn't matter who you want to win, the facts will speak for themselves.
If you work in the media, and more especially teevee, there's a really good reason to suggest the debates will have a big impact on the election.
I don't, though. I'm not even convinced *voting* has much effect on the outcome. Good luck for your guy, whosoever he may be. I'm probably sitting this one out, because I'm delighted that no matter who wins, ONE of those assholes is going to be in the hotseat for the next 4 years, when the planet probably turns violent.
It'll be more interesting to hear what the Sunday Morning talk shows will read off of the DNC's talking points.
Huh?
:)
Heard a guy behind me at lunch tellig ghis companion that he thougth Obama was concentrating so hard on being absolutely perfect that he might have come acrss as a little dull. Sounds about right. Perfection is hard to maintain.
I can see why you would say that...
erection or perfection????
Teleprompters don't work at that altitude.
I hope ZH puts up the discussion between Jim Rogers and Marc Faber that just happend. It was pretty funny.
Bloomberg?
Hate to say it but CNBC. It's still on their webpage i think
Is this what you mean?
http://www.cnbc.com/id/49289790
Maybe, Obama lost because he is just not very smart and does not have any real leadership skills.
Without the mainstream media or the teleprompter to protect him from his real self, the truth came out.
Ater last night, I am awaiting to see the next great skewering....Paul Ryan dismantling Joe Biden
I won't be voting for anyone down here in Florida.... but that veep debate will be hillarious to see.
Ryan will make Biden into his prison bitch. Nothing like a good old-fashioned ass raping on national TV.
We care so much about which puppets did better. Rock em' sock em' puppet show.
This ship is currently sinking. Get into a fucking life boat already.
I did not watch the debates. I have that time. I spent it with my husband. Had a nice time. I am also reading up on common plants/weeds that can be eaten, how to harvest them, how to prepare them.
Did you know you can eat Kudzu? I did not.
It's a delicacy in Japan, so I've heard.
I hate that eyesore. Which President had that stuff imported from Japan as erosion control?
Cows love kudzu, but be careful. It has an odd side effect. It curbs your taste for alcohol. That could ruin some of the best minds around here.
Couldn't agree more. Thanks for the kudzu info.. had no idea!
Bloviating Bloated Toad.
Maybe they can change the venue of the next debate to Death Valley, CA, the lowest point in the US. Or how about at the bottom of the Homestake mine in South Dakota?
There are even deeper ones in SA but they'd have to cross picket lines.
Ideally it would be located at the bottom of a volcano.
A few hundred ballots from the Presidency.
altitude ELECTILE DYSFUNCTION ... ?
/chuckle and +1
RAYYYYYYYYSIS!
Was it the Chinese accent?