Thursday Humor - The Climate-Adjusted Reason Obama 'Lost' The Debate

Tyler Durden's picture




 

While some have blamed last night's 'performance anxiety' on the President's efforts to save our economy and not having time to practice, and others at Romney's 'bullying' of the moderator, it seems Al Gore has come up with the real reason - it's the altitude, stupid!

 

Via Mike Krieger of Liberty Blitzkrieg blog,

 

Need a laugh?  Al Gore went on television and blamed Obama’s horrific performance during the debate last night on the altitude!  This is epic.  So according to Al Gore we should be very concerned should Obama negotiate any deals with any leaders in the capital cities of La Paz, Bolivia (11,942 ft); Quito, Ecuador (9,350 ft); Bogota, Columbia (8,612 ft); Mexico City, Mexico (7,350 ft) and Nairobi, Kenya (5,889 ft).  For comparison Denver is 5,280 ft above sea level.  For a full list of capital cities Obama should avoid if he gets a second term go here.

I have also figured out why our policy in Afghanistan is such a disaster.  Kabul is higher than Denver at 5,873 ft.

Who let Al Gore out of his cage yesterday?  Watch the video below and have a laugh!

 

 

oh, and by the way, even simple folk like us know that if you are prone to altitude sickness, a quick Diamox beforehand takes care of it (especially at a measly 5300 feet)...

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Thu, 10/04/2012 - 14:20 | 2856510 nope-1004
nope-1004's picture

Al Gore invented the internet.  Leave him alone.

 

Thu, 10/04/2012 - 14:20 | 2856516 redpill
redpill's picture

Clint's Empty Chair could have done better last night.

Thu, 10/04/2012 - 14:22 | 2856534 Pladizow
Pladizow's picture

What black man is not used to being high?

Thu, 10/04/2012 - 14:23 | 2856547 redpill
redpill's picture

Must have been his white half that showed up?

Thu, 10/04/2012 - 14:29 | 2856573 kaiserhoff
kaiserhoff's picture

Al Gore:  I said Dapper Dan Palmaid!  OMFG my hair!

Thu, 10/04/2012 - 14:30 | 2856584 Skateboarder
Skateboarder's picture

This. Is. Super. Serial.

Thu, 10/04/2012 - 14:32 | 2856589 Dalago
Dalago's picture

It was their anniversary.  He probably banged his wife before the fight.  Bad move.

Thu, 10/04/2012 - 14:33 | 2856601 pods
pods's picture

I guess they are in the mile high club now eh?

pods

Thu, 10/04/2012 - 14:52 | 2856696 LULZBank
LULZBank's picture

Very symmetrical and smart.

Fuck Al Gore. Both sides!

Thu, 10/04/2012 - 15:42 | 2856974 Colombian Gringo
Colombian Gringo's picture

Poor Al (sniff) Sounds like he needs his third chakra released to help him process reality.  Given the amount of hot air produced by Washington, to stop AGW we should send all the politicians to FEMA camps, to be educated, of course.

Thu, 10/04/2012 - 16:50 | 2857276 economics9698
economics9698's picture

This is what happens when you sniff glue as a kid. 

Thu, 10/04/2012 - 19:00 | 2857698 The Alarmist
The Alarmist's picture

I guess he picked the wrong week to stop sniffing glue.  

Seriously, can you image the impact the Choomwagon would have had at one mile elevation?

Fri, 10/05/2012 - 05:09 | 2858593 dubbleoj
dubbleoj's picture

manbearpig can handle any altitude!

Thu, 10/04/2012 - 14:33 | 2856602 redpill
redpill's picture

Could have used some of the "little bit of blow" he used to do.

Thu, 10/04/2012 - 14:44 | 2856655 Bastiat
Bastiat's picture

He needed some of that Reggie Love but didn't dare on his anniversary.

Thu, 10/04/2012 - 15:19 | 2856854 Sofa King
Sofa King's picture

Well, we can add this to his life-long list of ridiculous conclusions.  Somehow people still listen and believe him.  Must be all the Botox; it makes him look confident or it could just be that he's a complete fucking psychopath that believes his own lies.  I'm thinking it's combination of the two.

Thu, 10/04/2012 - 18:15 | 2857554 wee-weed up
wee-weed up's picture

Maybe Algore can give Obama one of his famous "massages" before the next debate...

Thu, 10/04/2012 - 14:47 | 2856679 Zap Powerz
Zap Powerz's picture

Or Joe Biden according to rumors coming out of Chicago.  It seems Obama likes older white men.  Not that there is anything wrong with that.

Thu, 10/04/2012 - 15:56 | 2857058 jumbo maverick
jumbo maverick's picture

Couldn't of ben that as I had heard they don't a let a woman into the bathhouse.

Thu, 10/04/2012 - 14:36 | 2856614 I only kill chi...
I only kill chickens and wheat's picture

Skateboarder, I have to give Al credit on that one. I have no problems with ManBearPigs.

Thu, 10/04/2012 - 14:53 | 2856699 Skateboarder
Skateboarder's picture

<-- It's more likely that Manbearpig is real.

<-- It's more likely that Obamney and Shalom will usher in a new age of economic prosperity.

Thu, 10/04/2012 - 15:47 | 2857011 Totentänzerlied
Totentänzerlied's picture

What about ManBernKrug?

Thu, 10/04/2012 - 15:05 | 2856765 Car 54 Where Are U
Car 54 Where Are U's picture

Do you mean Cereal or Surreal because I'm confused? Or perhaps I missed and earlier episode.

Thu, 10/04/2012 - 14:38 | 2856626 Mad Mohel
Mad Mohel's picture

I believe that would be pomade. Palmaid is what's used to spank it.

Thu, 10/04/2012 - 15:19 | 2856821 Urban Redneck
Urban Redneck's picture

Of course it was the white half that showed up, the goat herding darker Kenyan side is acclimated to much higher hills.  Let's just hope the white half doesn't doesn't show up in Islamabad and take a trip up the karakorum highway to the country retreat for security consultations, or we'll be hearing about nuquular insecurity right before the mushroom clouds start popping along the pakeeeeeeeestani skyline.

As much as I fundamentally despise any incumbent running for re-election, I didn't think Obama's performance last night was that much worse than the other meat puppets.  However, I really can't be bothered to sit through that debate again and pay even more attention to it.

Thu, 10/04/2012 - 14:26 | 2856564 Hippocratic Oaf
Hippocratic Oaf's picture

Oooooooh. Pladizow..........thank you for taking me back to my southern roots!

Thu, 10/04/2012 - 14:25 | 2856553 Dr. Richard Head
Dr. Richard Head's picture

Shit, my pack a day cancer stick smoking ass hiked up Haleakala in Maui at just over 10K feet and I could still form a sentence.

Thu, 10/04/2012 - 14:25 | 2856563 redpill
redpill's picture

Well yeah but you brought along a teleprompter

Thu, 10/04/2012 - 14:30 | 2856580 Ahmeexnal
Ahmeexnal's picture

Don't be jealous, you can have one too:
http://appadvice.com/appguides/show/teleprompter-apps

Thu, 10/04/2012 - 14:43 | 2856648 Dr. Richard Head
Dr. Richard Head's picture

"In the opinion of the Chair, the 'ayes' have it, and the resolution is adopted." - RNC AND DNC

Thu, 10/04/2012 - 14:48 | 2856677 Henry Chinaski
Henry Chinaski's picture

That's business as usual for elected governing bodies across the fruited plain. You just don't see it on TV every day.

Thu, 10/04/2012 - 14:55 | 2856707 FL_Conservative
FL_Conservative's picture

I thought the other podium WAS empty?

Thu, 10/04/2012 - 14:23 | 2856542 I am more equal...
I am more equal than others's picture

Altitude change

Climate change

Hope and Change

Here is your change

 

Thu, 10/04/2012 - 14:29 | 2856574 Temporis
Temporis's picture

*holds up sign that reads*

Lost my job, my house, and my wife. Spare some change?

Thu, 10/04/2012 - 15:40 | 2856973 johnQpublic
johnQpublic's picture

yes, we can

Thu, 10/04/2012 - 14:25 | 2856555 WALLST8MY8BALL
WALLST8MY8BALL's picture

Teleprompters just dont work above 1 mile Alt

Thu, 10/04/2012 - 14:31 | 2856577 Unprepared
Unprepared's picture

Apparently, Hussein had everything against him last night:

 

Altitute

Aptitude

Attitude

 

As a side note, was it just me or O is starting to look more and more like W. I mean really, physiognomically; face shape, ears, eyes,...

Thu, 10/04/2012 - 14:45 | 2856660 Dr. Richard Head
Dr. Richard Head's picture

Oddly enough, the hair too.  I would imagine Romney's manicured grey stripes would merge, but then he would strip the equity from the remaining dark hair.

Thu, 10/04/2012 - 14:49 | 2856685 WALLST8MY8BALL
WALLST8MY8BALL's picture

Or was it William Banzai 7 work?

Thu, 10/04/2012 - 14:34 | 2856606 eatthebanksters
eatthebanksters's picture

He was praying that Obama got re-elected so he'd have another chance at the inside angle of packaging and marketing carbon tax credits...he wants to be a billionaire so he can pay Barry's higher tax rate....oh, that's after payng the utility bill for his home in Tennesee with a carbon footprint 20x the average American home.  He's a greedy hypocritical fucktard dickwad who will say anything to suck cash out of stupid people.

Thu, 10/04/2012 - 14:35 | 2856607 Gully Foyle
Gully Foyle's picture

Reminds me of the old joke.

A black guy was praying one day when God, for some reason, decided to answer him. 
"Lord," asked the black guy. "Why are my legs so long?"
"So you can run like the wind through the jungle."
"Lord, why is my hair so kinky?"
"So it won't get caught on anything as you run through the jungle."
"Lord, why is my skin so dark?"
"So that you won't get burned by the sun's intense rays in the jungle."
And then the black guy asked, "Lord, why am I in Chicago?"

Thu, 10/04/2012 - 14:44 | 2856654 nope-1004
nope-1004's picture

This one is good too:

 


A Zebra dies and arrives at the Pearly Gates. As he enters, he asks St. Peter, "I have a question that's haunted me all of my days on earth. Am I white with black stripes, or am I black with white stripes?"St Peter said, "That's a question only God can answer."    So the zebra went off in search of God. When he found Him, the zebra asked, "God, please - I must know. Am I white with black stripes, or am I black with white stripes?" God simply replied "You are what you are."   The zebra returned to see St. Peter once more, who asked him, "Well, did God straighten out your query for you?"   The zebra looked puzzled. "No sir, God simply said 'You are what you are.'" St. Peter smiled and said to the zebra, "Well then, there you are. You are white with black stripes."   The zebra asked St. Peter, "How do you know that for certain?" "Because," said St. Peter, "If you were black with white stripes, God would have said, "You is what you is."

Thu, 10/04/2012 - 14:46 | 2856668 slaughterer
slaughterer's picture

Choomwagon, nuff said.  

Thu, 10/04/2012 - 14:55 | 2856708 slaughterer
slaughterer's picture

Just get some WH aide to give him a blow job before the next debate... problem solved.  

Thu, 10/04/2012 - 14:20 | 2856512 RSloane
RSloane's picture

I think he might have convinced all five of his viewers.

Thu, 10/04/2012 - 14:20 | 2856514 fuu
fuu's picture

Flakmeister please pick up the white courtesy phone, Flakmeister white courtesy phone.

Thu, 10/04/2012 - 14:20 | 2856517 Pladizow
Pladizow's picture

So Obummer was high?

Thu, 10/04/2012 - 14:22 | 2856539 TuPhat
TuPhat's picture

Exactly, but I'm sure he has been higher than that before.

Thu, 10/04/2012 - 14:38 | 2856625 Tsunami Wave
Tsunami Wave's picture

The Democratic National Convention in 2008 was in Denver... to which he spoke in a stadium for his acceptance speech.

Thu, 10/04/2012 - 14:46 | 2856666 Dr. Richard Head
Dr. Richard Head's picture

But did he get there a mere few hours prior to addressing his loyal crowd?

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