Even The Elite Are Conspiracy Wonks Now

Tyler Durden's picture

There was a time when only fringe blogs and digital dickweeds would suggest the BLS data was anything but entirely above board. That time has ended!

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A L I E N's picture

Yup now everyone on cnbs is calling massaged numbers

GetZeeGold's picture



 You dare question our numbers?


Relax.....the revisions come at about noon...by that time no one will care anymore.

Lohn Jocke's picture

Saying that numbers don't lie is like me saying that I have an eleven inch penis, you're just measuring it wrong.

Dr. Richard Head's picture

Article 1, section 8 of the US Constitution allows the government to "fix the standard of weights and measures".  At the end of the day, the government just fixes what it wants.  In this case, they change the ruler with each measurement. The more and more I read the Constitution, the more and more I see that the document is actually the force behind the centralization of power of the plutocrats.

tip e. canoe's picture

yup, art I, section 8 is chock full of zingers.  wrap your noggin around this gem:

"To define and punish Piracies and Felonies committed on the high Seas, and Offenses against the Law of Nations;"

the U.S. as Global Supercop (as well as Judge, Jury & Executioner) was enshrined by the "Founding Fathers".

DoChenRollingBearing's picture

"Methinks the lady doth protest too much."

Labor Secretary Hilda Solis sure did bristle when questioned by CNBS's softball questions...

Naah.  They would never lie to us, would they?

Quantum Nucleonics's picture

Don't blame the Founding Fathers for Barry's assassination drones.  That section actually addressed a legit issue in the 18th century.

PicassoInActions's picture

ask Steve Job or even better TIm Cook, you just holding it wrong...

A Lunatic's picture

That, or much like these bullshit numbers, you're trying to shove it up my ass..........

tradebot's picture

The numbers are measured by the 6' 2" penis in the white house...

Alpo for Granny's picture

One of the first things that my college statistics teacher told us at the was that figures don't lie, but liars figure.

Pool Shark's picture



Jack should know... he's offshored plenty of jobs...



WALLST8MY8BALL's picture

ZH is Jack's raging bile duct!

Bangin7GramRocks's picture

That old fuck should know a little something about bullshit numbers. His multi-national conglomerate that makes clock radios, jet engines, mortgages and every product in-between miraculously hit the earnings estimate to the penny every quarter. Patently impossible. Fuck him!

Squid Vicious's picture

not to mention a stock that has gone exactly nowhere in about 20 years, why is this guy trotted out as some kind of guru?

True.North's picture

Because of several years without any federal income tax liability (thanks to a 900+ person tax/accounting department).

overmedicatedundersexed's picture

this over reach may just backfire big time....watch out that falling sound is the economy. and the markets. as even the most gullible say WTF.

mac768's picture

BLS = Bureau of Lies and Statistics

The Wizard of Oz's picture


gjp's picture

I don't believe anything from the government, but Jack Welch is a first class ass.  Fuck his crony partisan bullshit.

Nice to see the elite turning on each other though.

I am more equal than others's picture

when elite eats elite the end is near...pray that its not in the winter.

Clinteastwood's picture

Jack must be reading ZH.

vamoose1's picture

you  should  know  jack  you street  thug     give  that  stolen  ge  money  back

swissaustrian's picture

Jack Welch's four kids support Ron Paul, maybe they woke him up


Vince Clortho's picture

It's all calculated.  PR work.  Balance the image of the family.

socalbeach's picture

Welch is a big-time Republican loyalist, so he's probably speaking out since he doesn't believe the numbers and he's ticked they're helping Obama.

bigwavedave's picture

How much has GE paid in taxes the last 20 years?

EscapeKey's picture

More insane is - GE debt is about $500bn.

DosZap's picture

How much has GE paid in taxes the last 20 years?

Easy, ZERO...........................


Even a better question, HOW many jobs have they offshored?.

I cannot find one thing made in America,  by GE.

We bring good things to life..............................................of anyone but Amelicans!!!!

Freewheelin Franklin's picture

and what was GE Capital's bailout package?

Dr. Engali's picture

Can we hurry up and get this election thingy overwith so we can move on to the next phase of the new world order?

Vince Clortho's picture

The "Election effect" is getting a bit tiresome as the excuse for the behavior of the S&P, the fudged reports, the Fed Quotes, etc.

Post election, I am sure there will be some other "effect" cited as the reason for the lies, distortion and manipulations.

I can hardly wait.

RiverRoad's picture

"Post election"...run for the hills baby as all the repressed bad news finally oozes out.

Robslob's picture


Algos bearish on jobs numbers!

Algos bullish on jobs numbers!

Algos stop hunt on jobs numbers

3rd time is always a charm....

Cursive's picture

Holy pot calling the kettle black!

superbroker1's picture

Dont forget oil the other day. Does this mean the fed will stop buying MBS now too? hmmmm.

Rainman's picture

There hasn't been an honest pol come out of the Land of Lincoln since Lincoln...and even he was suspicious.

Look for 5% to paint the tape on election eve.

otto skorzeny's picture

Lincoln was a fascist, big government, state's rights crusher type that pulled a patriot act and smashed a lot of civil rights during the war. He really was a tool of the big bankers. I used to have a good opinion of the guy but you have to stand back and take a look at his body of work. the victors write the history books. sometimes you wonder how much different the world would be if Lee would have pressed on to DC after  Bull Run Part I.

moroots's picture

Tool of the big bankers?  Lincoln told the Rothschilds to fuck off when they offered to finance the civil war around 20%, instead he issued soveirgn, debt-free money.  He may be a lot of the things that you said but he wasn't a banker puppet.

SilverRhino's picture

Not a tool of the bankers.  But certainly a tool of the industrialists. 

tradebot's picture

Does history not show that the bankers had him killed over the greenback?

cgbspender's picture

instead he issued soveirgn, debt-free money.


Which of course was devalued and left many in ruins...

barroter's picture

Seccession was a disasterous decision wasn't it?  State's Rights? That sure worked. The Confederate Congress couldn't agree on what color curtains to hang up while the war was being lost.

Darth Mul's picture

It was almost as disasterous as supersizing the central government and deciding that the Constitution's delegation of "limited and enumerated" powers meant "unlimited powers unless a court says otherwise."


Now then - let's all go down to the soda shop while this country turns into Mexico, shall we?

azzhatter's picture

when do you think the last time Jack tapped his old lady was?

vamoose1's picture

coming  back  from  the  bank  with  that  stolen   pension  fund  money  after  cashing  in  his  ramped   ge   options

tocointhephrase's picture

You can fool some of the people some time, but you can't fool all the people all the time!


Vashta Nerada's picture

We will have to wait and see if they have the nerve to stand by those numbers.  U6 unchanged at 14.7%.  Math is hard.

MilleniumJane's picture


It's very interesting how the different MSM outlets are handling this.  From what I've seen, Bloomberg has been trying to Rah-Rah-Rah, Sis-Boom-Bah these numbers but their interviewees have been conservative in their enthusiasm, one wonk saying that "the numbers are good but manufacturing is lower, so that's troubling." 

Local radio station here that I like to listen to actually discussed what we have known for a long time here at ZH-the massaging of numbers to a gelatinous mass and how the BLS doesn't count the people who fell into the abyss.  They are still running pre-recorded spin commentary from the so-called experts, but at least this time around the hosts are questioning aloud what most of us are thinking.

Liquid Courage's picture

But ... but ... Manufacturing is higher ... they're "manufacturing" hope. Hallelujah!! Can I get a witness???!!!