Bill O'Reilly vs. Jon Stewart: The Full Mock Debate

Tyler Durden's picture


Sick of the official and very serious theater that passes for America'a presidential election? Then enjoy the following less than serious theater courtesy of the comic duo of Bill O'Reilly and Jon Stewart, whose "Rumble 2012" was the best 90 minute lampoon of America's hypnotic fascination with whose (skewed?) ratings did what first thing in the morning, whose non-sex tape was released over the weekend, who misspoke in the past 12 hours, but most importantly how no matter who is in charge on November 7, nothing will actually change. Finally, what better way to start your Sunday than with a laugh at some politicians' expense?

From AP:

 There were all the trappings of a high-octane presidential debate: the over-the-top declarations, the pre-practiced zingers and the schmaltzy appeals to America's truest values. But the presidential candidates were nowhere to be found.


In their place Saturday were two celebrity gabbers who have claimed their stakes to the polar opposite ends of the political spectrum: Bill O'Reilly and Jon Stewart. The political odd-couple came to Washington ready to tangle in an event mockingly dubbed "The Rumble in the Air-Conditioned Auditorium."


Choice words not suitable for the faint of heart dotted the 90-minute exchange between the Fox News anchor and the star of Comedy Central's "The Daily Show," who bantered aggressively but good-naturedly over birth control, President George W. Bush and the so-called "War on Christmas."


Stewart came prepped with a mechanical pedestal he used to elevate himself in the air, making the height-challenged comedian appear taller than the lanky O'Reilly when he wanted to drive a point home.


"I like you much better that way," O'Reilly quipped at one point as he gazed up at his ideological foe.


The political feud between the two caffeinated TV personalities dates back more than a decade. Much like family members who just can't resist pushing each other's buttons over Thanksgiving stuffing, Stewart and O'Reilly love to disagree, but appear to hold nothing against each other once the latest spat has run its course. The two have appeared on each other's programs since 2001, but the face-off Saturday at The George Washington University marked their first head-to-head debate.


Appearing wholly presidential in dark jackets and face makeup under a sign reading "Yum, this banner tastes like freedom," the two quickly turned to talk of government spending and the 47 percent of Americans that Republican Mitt Romney said in a video are dependent on government.


Stewart, defending government involvement in health care and social programs, said the U.S. has always been an entitlement nation.

"We are a people that went to another country, saw other people on it and said, 'Yea, we want that," Stewart said. "Have you ever seen 'Oprah's favorite things' episode?"


Asked who he'd like to see as president, O'Reilly dead-panned: "I'd have to say Clint Eastwood."


"Well why don't we ask him," said Stewart, mocking the Hollywood actor's widely panned speech in August at the Republican National Convention by getting out of his chair and staring at it while the crowd erupted in laughter.


In an apparent show of bipartisanship, Stewart even got on O'Reilly lap at one point. "And what would you like for Christmas, little boy?" O'Reilly said slyly.


"The display that you saw tonight is why America is America. Robust, creative, no holds barred," O'Reilly told reporters after the debate. "You can call it whatever you want, but you wouldn't see this in a lot of other countries. That's for sure."

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Sun, 10/07/2012 - 11:14 | 2864621 PrintingPress
PrintingPress's picture

I just shut it off 15 minutes in.  It's absolutely worthless and not really that funny.  Just talking points being regurgitated with few facts.  Don't waste your time and save the $4.95. 

Sun, 10/07/2012 - 11:20 | 2864632 Race Car Driver
Race Car Driver's picture

The system pretends to laugh at itself - but it's laughing at us.

Sun, 10/07/2012 - 11:40 | 2864651 Oh regional Indian
Oh regional Indian's picture

Precisely RCD. The joke is on us.

These two tools in the show are not only one percenters but deep insiders.

Only sheep could see humor in this.

America needs to re-discover some understated class. Very crass/loud at the moment.


Sun, 10/07/2012 - 11:57 | 2864685 Manthong
Manthong's picture

I killed it when it was apparent that the sheep in the stalls didn’t understand that a female upper middle class liberal political shill should buy her own birth control pills.

One should not waste valuable preparation time or brain cells absorbing yet another display of the ignorant populace at a circus.

Was bread being served?

Sun, 10/07/2012 - 12:59 | 2865106 Thomas
Thomas's picture

You guys might be a little tough on it. There is some entertainment value in it. Generally, I don't ask for more from celebrities and TV.

Sun, 10/07/2012 - 13:28 | 2865144 Precious
Precious's picture

They give whores a bad name.

Sun, 10/07/2012 - 13:29 | 2865168 markmotive
markmotive's picture

Blah TV.

Mon, 10/08/2012 - 06:21 | 2867057 Rakshas
Rakshas's picture

and what exactly is wrong with whores???


a girl's gotta eat right??

Sun, 10/07/2012 - 11:38 | 2864646 gtb
gtb's picture

Thanks for the tip, but I wouldn't watch those useless assholes even if they paid me.

Sun, 10/07/2012 - 14:05 | 2865243 max2205
max2205's picture

Hulk hogan debated some nice ass on his sex tape. Who's the man!

Sun, 10/07/2012 - 14:42 | 2865311 slaughterer
slaughterer's picture

No red-blooded American woman would fuck either Romney or Obama, or the comics who lampoon them.  They would go out surfing from Encinatas and eat a fish taco afterwards with a doob.  

Sun, 10/07/2012 - 11:16 | 2864628 Robot Traders Mom
Robot Traders Mom's picture

Bill O'Reilly thought the Benghazi Ambassador killing was in Egypt, not Libya...


What a tool.

Sun, 10/07/2012 - 11:22 | 2864633 Schmuck Raker
Schmuck Raker's picture

Then don't vote for him.

Sun, 10/07/2012 - 11:48 | 2864667 Robot Traders Mom
Robot Traders Mom's picture

We only have two options. I'll vote for the lesser of two evils.


-Most Americans

Sun, 10/07/2012 - 15:00 | 2865342 A Nanny Moose
A Nanny Moose's picture

Then don't vote


Sun, 10/07/2012 - 12:46 | 2864984 GlobalCtzn
GlobalCtzn's picture

And let's not forget Bill's theory regarding the tides..............

Sun, 10/07/2012 - 11:17 | 2864629 stinkhammer
stinkhammer's picture

it was gayer than a bag of dicks

Sun, 10/07/2012 - 12:19 | 2864730 Precious
Precious's picture

... at a new year's parade

Sun, 10/07/2012 - 11:27 | 2864635 Perpetual Burn
Perpetual Burn's picture

Both are morons.

Sun, 10/07/2012 - 11:55 | 2864683 otto skorzeny
otto skorzeny's picture

Who do I loathe more-the smarmy little hebe or the bloviating irishman- both of whom pretend not to be east coast media elites but actually are

Mon, 10/08/2012 - 01:19 | 2866871 TBT or not TBT
TBT or not TBT's picture

Dunno.   A little envious of their wealth and influence over here.   On the other hand, no idea about how they get their jollies, which can't be easy...for the faux conservative.    The other guy certainly rolls em as often and as well as Bill Maher, and no one would expect them not to shag liberally, in any which way.

Sun, 10/07/2012 - 11:27 | 2864636 Long-John-Silver
Long-John-Silver's picture

What was the difference between this and Nero Fiddling as Rome burned?


Nero did not sell himself for $4.95 a view.

Sun, 10/07/2012 - 11:29 | 2864637 Bay of Pigs
Bay of Pigs's picture

It's not funny. Both these guys are completely full of shit.

They perpetuate and defend the status quo. We're fucking doomed...

Sun, 10/07/2012 - 11:33 | 2864638 Ralph Spoilsport
Ralph Spoilsport's picture


Sun, 10/07/2012 - 11:45 | 2864644 Temporalist
Temporalist's picture

Jon Stewart means well but he has serious cognitive dissonance.  How can he rail at and support the status quo simultaneously? 

He would rather construct a defense against the unique petty issues of both parties than attack the combined atrocities of both.


O'Reilly is just really stupid and insane.

Sun, 10/07/2012 - 12:23 | 2864737 Precious
Precious's picture

Jon Stewart is a shill for the Zionists, obviously.  Really stupid and insane, equally with the lawyer, fake con$ervative, novu$ ordo O'Reilly.

Sun, 10/07/2012 - 17:52 | 2866003 Treeplanter
Treeplanter's picture

And you're a shill for the goat fuckers.

Sun, 10/07/2012 - 21:18 | 2866370 hannah
hannah's picture this point in history, a goat fucker has more integrity than either political candidates or congress or the house or pretty much any maybe the goat fuckers are a better choice.

Sun, 10/07/2012 - 13:52 | 2865216 css1971
css1971's picture

How can he rail at and support the status quo simultaneously?

He's paid to do exactly that?

Sun, 10/07/2012 - 16:37 | 2865760 Lore
Lore's picture

Q: "How can he rail at and support the status quo simultaneously?"

A: "He's paid to do exactly that."

Enough said. It's a living: a form of glib, pompous, self-ingratiating, myth-reinforcing (and subtly propagandistic), absurdist, distracting, audience-mocking, utterly inconsequential and quite distasteful banter that seems to pervade mainstream popular culture like some weird, infectious rash. It was cute for about five minutes. Really, how was this different from the presidential debate in terms of deception and lies? 

Kick-the-can escapism is getting stale fast.  

Sun, 10/07/2012 - 11:43 | 2864659 Loose Caboose
Loose Caboose's picture

Bread and circuses.  Laughter is not an appropriate response to this clusterfuck, unless the laughter is an hysterical reaction to waking up to the reality of a world being sucked into an agenda drafted by psychopaths.  Then it's the kind of laughter you might hear coming from the locked ward.

Where is the fucking revolution?!!!!!!

Sun, 10/07/2012 - 11:48 | 2864665 otto skorzeny
otto skorzeny's picture

The ironic part is Stewart's audience of guffawing jackals is the IFag generation that still live in their parents' basement with no prospect of getting a decent job or paying off their $100k college debt. I guess they're share Bobby Knight's outlook that "If rape is inevitable then lay back and enjoy it".

Sun, 10/07/2012 - 11:58 | 2864687 Bay of Pigs
Bay of Pigs's picture

I know people who watch his show religiously and that's their "source" of "news'.

I shit you not.

Hook, Line, and Sinker...

Sun, 10/07/2012 - 12:30 | 2864745 Manthong
Manthong's picture

I guess I wasn’t the only guy first struck with the Roman circus notion

- Ovisian Psychology 101:
“Why Jon Stewart is the Most Trusted Man in America”

Sun, 10/07/2012 - 12:30 | 2864749 Rainman
Rainman's picture

" Rarely is the question asked : Is our children learning ? "

                             G.W. Bush

Sun, 10/07/2012 - 14:28 | 2865284 WillyGroper
WillyGroper's picture

ROFLMAO: My kid put that in his valedictorian speech & his principal wouldn't let him use it. 

Sun, 10/07/2012 - 14:33 | 2865290 otto skorzeny
otto skorzeny's picture

the US school system can't let the public in on the dirty little that they are failing at educating their children.

Sun, 10/07/2012 - 13:53 | 2865220 drivenZ
drivenZ's picture

I know people who read ZH religiously and that's their "source" of "news'.

i shit you not.

hook, line, and sinker

Sun, 10/07/2012 - 14:49 | 2865321 Bay of Pigs
Bay of Pigs's picture

LOL. Ad hom. Take a shot at the Hedge because you have nothing worthwhile to add on the "debate"?



Sun, 10/07/2012 - 16:34 | 2865779 Lore
Lore's picture

Meh. You're here, aren't you.

Mon, 10/08/2012 - 05:30 | 2867037 SuitablyIronicM...
SuitablyIronicMoniker's picture

I read The Onion for news, ZH for economics.

Sun, 10/07/2012 - 13:54 | 2865221 edifice
edifice's picture

When the people no longer have beer and football, they'll revolt... That is, if they can bother to get their fat asses off the couch...

Sun, 10/07/2012 - 11:48 | 2864668 holdbuysell
holdbuysell's picture

Still watching...when do they get to the part about the ponzi scheme to stick the people with unsustainable debt by colluding with a private banking cartel that issues a debt-backed fiat currency and thereby taking away the people's ability to rein in government from spending the people into oblivion?

Sun, 10/07/2012 - 13:54 | 2865219 SIOP
SIOP's picture


Sun, 10/07/2012 - 11:49 | 2864669 icanhasbailout
icanhasbailout's picture

Debating O'Reilly is like debating a strawman - it's really not all that hard to set him on fire, but it doesn't represent an accomplishment, either.

Sun, 10/07/2012 - 11:50 | 2864671 mvsjcl
mvsjcl's picture

Wasn't the Mock Debate a few days ago?

Sun, 10/07/2012 - 11:53 | 2864677 otto skorzeny
otto skorzeny's picture

John (Stewart) Leibowitz's bother is COO of The NYSE so he's gotta draw attention away from his brother's being complicit in fraud on a massive scale.

Sun, 10/07/2012 - 19:53 | 2866224 Bear
Bear's picture

Didn't know that ... These elite are all related like some big regal court ... They spout with poof and pontification. Americans are in real trouble and even more right around the corner and with our whole world turned into a huge 'Celebrity State', our problems will continue to be 'sound bited'. The divide is so deep and the reluctance to work for common goals is so fleeting that:

We are truly screwed.

Sun, 10/07/2012 - 11:52 | 2864679 RockyRacoon
RockyRacoon's picture

I watched it, took it for what it was, enjoyed the good parts, cringed at the crap, moved on.  It's not any more emblematic of what passes in this country for entertainment than SNL, or other "humor" shows.   Want some real humor?  Watched Meet the Depressed this morning -- now that's funny.

Sun, 10/07/2012 - 21:22 | 2866386 hannah
hannah's picture

man you think just like the assist-coaches for sandusky.....i watched it, took it for what it was, enjoyed the good parts, cringed at the crap (literally probably), moved on.

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