Bill O'Reilly vs. Jon Stewart: The Full Mock Debate

Tyler Durden's picture

Sick of the official and very serious theater that passes for America'a presidential election? Then enjoy the following less than serious theater courtesy of the comic duo of Bill O'Reilly and Jon Stewart, whose "Rumble 2012" was the best 90 minute lampoon of America's hypnotic fascination with whose (skewed?) ratings did what first thing in the morning, whose non-sex tape was released over the weekend, who misspoke in the past 12 hours, but most importantly how no matter who is in charge on November 7, nothing will actually change. Finally, what better way to start your Sunday than with a laugh at some politicians' expense?

From AP:

 There were all the trappings of a high-octane presidential debate: the over-the-top declarations, the pre-practiced zingers and the schmaltzy appeals to America's truest values. But the presidential candidates were nowhere to be found.


In their place Saturday were two celebrity gabbers who have claimed their stakes to the polar opposite ends of the political spectrum: Bill O'Reilly and Jon Stewart. The political odd-couple came to Washington ready to tangle in an event mockingly dubbed "The Rumble in the Air-Conditioned Auditorium."


Choice words not suitable for the faint of heart dotted the 90-minute exchange between the Fox News anchor and the star of Comedy Central's "The Daily Show," who bantered aggressively but good-naturedly over birth control, President George W. Bush and the so-called "War on Christmas."


Stewart came prepped with a mechanical pedestal he used to elevate himself in the air, making the height-challenged comedian appear taller than the lanky O'Reilly when he wanted to drive a point home.


"I like you much better that way," O'Reilly quipped at one point as he gazed up at his ideological foe.


The political feud between the two caffeinated TV personalities dates back more than a decade. Much like family members who just can't resist pushing each other's buttons over Thanksgiving stuffing, Stewart and O'Reilly love to disagree, but appear to hold nothing against each other once the latest spat has run its course. The two have appeared on each other's programs since 2001, but the face-off Saturday at The George Washington University marked their first head-to-head debate.


Appearing wholly presidential in dark jackets and face makeup under a sign reading "Yum, this banner tastes like freedom," the two quickly turned to talk of government spending and the 47 percent of Americans that Republican Mitt Romney said in a video are dependent on government.


Stewart, defending government involvement in health care and social programs, said the U.S. has always been an entitlement nation.

"We are a people that went to another country, saw other people on it and said, 'Yea, we want that," Stewart said. "Have you ever seen 'Oprah's favorite things' episode?"


Asked who he'd like to see as president, O'Reilly dead-panned: "I'd have to say Clint Eastwood."


"Well why don't we ask him," said Stewart, mocking the Hollywood actor's widely panned speech in August at the Republican National Convention by getting out of his chair and staring at it while the crowd erupted in laughter.


In an apparent show of bipartisanship, Stewart even got on O'Reilly lap at one point. "And what would you like for Christmas, little boy?" O'Reilly said slyly.


"The display that you saw tonight is why America is America. Robust, creative, no holds barred," O'Reilly told reporters after the debate. "You can call it whatever you want, but you wouldn't see this in a lot of other countries. That's for sure."

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PrintingPress's picture

I just shut it off 15 minutes in.  It's absolutely worthless and not really that funny.  Just talking points being regurgitated with few facts.  Don't waste your time and save the $4.95. 

Race Car Driver's picture

The system pretends to laugh at itself - but it's laughing at us.

Oh regional Indian's picture

Precisely RCD. The joke is on us.

These two tools in the show are not only one percenters but deep insiders.

Only sheep could see humor in this.

America needs to re-discover some understated class. Very crass/loud at the moment.


Manthong's picture

I killed it when it was apparent that the sheep in the stalls didn’t understand that a female upper middle class liberal political shill should buy her own birth control pills.

One should not waste valuable preparation time or brain cells absorbing yet another display of the ignorant populace at a circus.

Was bread being served?

Thomas's picture

You guys might be a little tough on it. There is some entertainment value in it. Generally, I don't ask for more from celebrities and TV.

Precious's picture

They give whores a bad name.

Rakshas's picture

and what exactly is wrong with whores???


a girl's gotta eat right??

gtb's picture

Thanks for the tip, but I wouldn't watch those useless assholes even if they paid me.

max2205's picture

Hulk hogan debated some nice ass on his sex tape. Who's the man!

slaughterer's picture

No red-blooded American woman would fuck either Romney or Obama, or the comics who lampoon them.  They would go out surfing from Encinatas and eat a fish taco afterwards with a doob.  

Robot Traders Mom's picture

Bill O'Reilly thought the Benghazi Ambassador killing was in Egypt, not Libya...


What a tool.

Robot Traders Mom's picture

We only have two options. I'll vote for the lesser of two evils.


-Most Americans

GlobalCtzn's picture

And let's not forget Bill's theory regarding the tides..............

stinkhammer's picture

it was gayer than a bag of dicks

Precious's picture

... at a new year's parade

otto skorzeny's picture

Who do I loathe more-the smarmy little hebe or the bloviating irishman- both of whom pretend not to be east coast media elites but actually are

TBT or not TBT's picture

Dunno.   A little envious of their wealth and influence over here.   On the other hand, no idea about how they get their jollies, which can't be easy...for the faux conservative.    The other guy certainly rolls em as often and as well as Bill Maher, and no one would expect them not to shag liberally, in any which way.

Long-John-Silver's picture

What was the difference between this and Nero Fiddling as Rome burned?


Nero did not sell himself for $4.95 a view.

Bay of Pigs's picture

It's not funny. Both these guys are completely full of shit.

They perpetuate and defend the status quo. We're fucking doomed...

Temporalist's picture

Jon Stewart means well but he has serious cognitive dissonance.  How can he rail at and support the status quo simultaneously? 

He would rather construct a defense against the unique petty issues of both parties than attack the combined atrocities of both.


O'Reilly is just really stupid and insane.

Precious's picture

Jon Stewart is a shill for the Zionists, obviously.  Really stupid and insane, equally with the lawyer, fake con$ervative, novu$ ordo O'Reilly.

Treeplanter's picture

And you're a shill for the goat fuckers.

hannah's picture this point in history, a goat fucker has more integrity than either political candidates or congress or the house or pretty much any maybe the goat fuckers are a better choice.

css1971's picture

How can he rail at and support the status quo simultaneously?

He's paid to do exactly that?

Lore's picture

Q: "How can he rail at and support the status quo simultaneously?"

A: "He's paid to do exactly that."

Enough said. It's a living: a form of glib, pompous, self-ingratiating, myth-reinforcing (and subtly propagandistic), absurdist, distracting, audience-mocking, utterly inconsequential and quite distasteful banter that seems to pervade mainstream popular culture like some weird, infectious rash. It was cute for about five minutes. Really, how was this different from the presidential debate in terms of deception and lies? 

Kick-the-can escapism is getting stale fast.  

Loose Caboose's picture

Bread and circuses.  Laughter is not an appropriate response to this clusterfuck, unless the laughter is an hysterical reaction to waking up to the reality of a world being sucked into an agenda drafted by psychopaths.  Then it's the kind of laughter you might hear coming from the locked ward.

Where is the fucking revolution?!!!!!!

otto skorzeny's picture

The ironic part is Stewart's audience of guffawing jackals is the IFag generation that still live in their parents' basement with no prospect of getting a decent job or paying off their $100k college debt. I guess they're share Bobby Knight's outlook that "If rape is inevitable then lay back and enjoy it".

Bay of Pigs's picture

I know people who watch his show religiously and that's their "source" of "news'.

I shit you not.

Hook, Line, and Sinker...

Manthong's picture

I guess I wasn’t the only guy first struck with the Roman circus notion

- Ovisian Psychology 101:
“Why Jon Stewart is the Most Trusted Man in America”

Rainman's picture

" Rarely is the question asked : Is our children learning ? "

                             G.W. Bush

WillyGroper's picture

ROFLMAO: My kid put that in his valedictorian speech & his principal wouldn't let him use it. 

otto skorzeny's picture

the US school system can't let the public in on the dirty little that they are failing at educating their children.

drivenZ's picture

I know people who read ZH religiously and that's their "source" of "news'.

i shit you not.

hook, line, and sinker

Bay of Pigs's picture

LOL. Ad hom. Take a shot at the Hedge because you have nothing worthwhile to add on the "debate"?



Lore's picture

Meh. You're here, aren't you.

SuitablyIronicMoniker's picture

I read The Onion for news, ZH for economics.

edifice's picture

When the people no longer have beer and football, they'll revolt... That is, if they can bother to get their fat asses off the couch...

holdbuysell's picture

Still watching...when do they get to the part about the ponzi scheme to stick the people with unsustainable debt by colluding with a private banking cartel that issues a debt-backed fiat currency and thereby taking away the people's ability to rein in government from spending the people into oblivion?

icanhasbailout's picture

Debating O'Reilly is like debating a strawman - it's really not all that hard to set him on fire, but it doesn't represent an accomplishment, either.

mvsjcl's picture

Wasn't the Mock Debate a few days ago?

otto skorzeny's picture

John (Stewart) Leibowitz's bother is COO of The NYSE so he's gotta draw attention away from his brother's being complicit in fraud on a massive scale.

Bear's picture

Didn't know that ... These elite are all related like some big regal court ... They spout with poof and pontification. Americans are in real trouble and even more right around the corner and with our whole world turned into a huge 'Celebrity State', our problems will continue to be 'sound bited'. The divide is so deep and the reluctance to work for common goals is so fleeting that:

We are truly screwed.

RockyRacoon's picture

I watched it, took it for what it was, enjoyed the good parts, cringed at the crap, moved on.  It's not any more emblematic of what passes in this country for entertainment than SNL, or other "humor" shows.   Want some real humor?  Watched Meet the Depressed this morning -- now that's funny.

hannah's picture

man you think just like the assist-coaches for sandusky.....i watched it, took it for what it was, enjoyed the good parts, cringed at the crap (literally probably), moved on.