European Union Wins Nobel Peace Prize
Ladies and gentlemen, we bring you EUtopia (and an early case of Friday humor).
The European Union has been awarded the 2012 Nobel Peace Prize in a nod to the 27-member bloc's "advancement of peace and reconciliation," and to applaud its solidarity as it continues to work to contain the debt crisis hanging over the euro zone.
The head of the Norwegian committee, Thorbørn Jagland, said the committee gave the award in an effort to encourage Europe to back away from the "extremism and nationalism" that led to major conflict in years past. "This is, in a way, a message to Europe to secure everything we have achieved and move forward," he said while addressing a packed crowd at the Nobel Norwegian Institute in Oslo on Friday.
"We don't have a position on how to solve the economic crisis, but we believe it will be important to solve it and that European unity can be kept so that Europe can move forward. There are many things to say about the economic crisis—where it originated, for instance. Actually, it started in the U.S. and all of us had to deal with it.
"Mr. Jagland said it is "up to the European Union" to decide what to do with the approximately $1.2 million in prize money that comes with the award. He also said the EU should decide how the award is ceremonially received.
Some other news: Bernard Madoff Investment Securities has not won the Nobel prize in economics yet.
The good news: Europe, for the first time in history, has a positive $1.2 million in equity value from the prize money, which is also the cash which will be promptly spent to fill those 0.0x fiscal (and monetary) multipliers of a failed regime, aka fill Belgian caterers' pockets.
The bad news: there is no Nobel prize for biggest Ponzi scheme conceivable, which would logically come with a prize so large even Spain would be saved. For at least one day.
We have reached out to the TOTUS to ask him how he feels that an endless monetary black hole - one he personally will be tasked with bailing out should he win the reelection - is now proudly carrying the peace torch for at least one year.