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Jeff Macke On Citi's Earnings: "These Numbers mean NO-THING"
Several years ago Jeff Macke had his brief run in with comedic immortality courtesy of the "Car People" Fast Money episode which promptly cost him his job, if generating countless hours of Wall Street laugh out loud humor in the process. Ever since then he has more or less fallen off the financial pundit horizon, which in retrospect is sad, because as he shows here, he still has a fascinating ability to cut through the BS. Because while earlier we explained why Citi's numbers were nothing short of garbage, with the headline spin being used just to fool algos and various other non-carbon based trading lifeforms, using run-on sentences and pretty charts, Macke does this far, far more efficiently, and with far more exuberance than even we thought possible: "There's a genius to it. These numbers mean NO-THING, because they can report whatever they want." The man's still got it, even if no car people were destroyed in the filming of this segment.
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if i got free printed FRN's and loaned them back at intrest i too would show record profits.
And if my balance sheet was allowed to be market-to-fantasy, I too could show growth. The entire financial sector is ONE BIG FARCE. Fiat is truly worthless because of the miscreants handling it.
Who cares about the balance sheet when all the risk is held off balance sheet...
Macke's still got it big time. Come you networks out there. No one have any need for a chrome domed truth teller? Maybe RT could have him as a foil for Lauren Lyster, or Max Keiser could be his foil. Those two together would be legendary.
None of the owned media has the ballz to hire truth tellers. Fantasies of unicorns and skittles interspersed with a little Jersey Shore keeps the proles from picking up their torches and pitch forks.
If my bondholders were treated as having the divine right to subordinate the US taxpayer and dollar-holders worldwide, I too would report record profits!
You just have to laugh when the pundits all say that banks are a great deal, trading under book or something, without mentioning the removal of the FASB rule that the book has to be honestly reported. For all we know, the real book is a negative number after all...
Think about this - if just one major bank had a positive book, they'd be yelling to all the media about having that rule put back so they'd look better than the fakers (or is that fakirs?). Yet...crickets.
"For all we know, the real book is a negative number after all..."
thats funny. if they werent less than zero , we wouldnt have bailed them out to the tune of trillions of dollars. all the banks in the world are worth negative 4 quadrillion dollars....
Wow sad.
http://jamesturkblog.blogspot.ca/
Macke says "Crack is Whack"
The truth doesn't matter bitchez. Thee stocks shalt levitate.
I loved Jeff's meltdown on CNBC:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=79HLnTPxMho
Classic moment of clarity and awakening.
It was as if they wanted to talk about the Elves helping Santa and Jeff was like "What? We're adults, this is serious, there are no Elves or Santa, are you people CRAZY?"
No Jeff, you woke up and they wanted to maintain the somnolence, the delusion, the charade.
Citi and other TBTF bank earnings are CRAP; everything is off the books or marked to fantasy.
Meanwhile, they get free FED money to screw over "customers" with fees and fraud.
Glad Jeff found another outlet.
Pandit mentioned that Citi sold a chunk of mortages in the Q. He didn't mention who bought them?
The fed's cash for clunkers program?
I'm lost what's a car person? There must be some context missing from the video.
I think it refers to a previous discussion of the auto industry. The pundits were talking about how great the auto industry was doing and Macke was going "What? Based on what? This is all bullshit, made up numbers, fantasy land, who are you kidding?"
In the next discussion he was saying " This is the same as the auto industry analysis. More bullshit, more made up numbers, more fantasy con game. Why are we even talking about this bullshit? Don't you guys see it? I saw it in the auto sector now here is the same bullshit in the banking sector".
3d time, today he is saying "the published numbers mean NO-THING this is all bullshit. They aren't even talking about the huge liabilities they have off balance sheet which are enough to ruin them".
If I'm Chairman Bernanke and I see the USAis number one in gold holdings "at a mere ten thousand tons" I will do everything I can to keep the 10,000 yes? Now sure "they Government didn't tell me I had ten million tons"...but hey, if you're not deflating your no doing your job!
See below for missing context:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9PR_rzF8ofw
I watched that live years ago and I still think Macke showed great restraint. I'm not a violent person, but given the opportunity I would beat the living hell out of Dennis Kneale.
I raise my purple crayon to you Jeff.
All true, but the most immediate reason for his meltdown was the fact that he was getting pounded being short in an up market, so he drowned his sorrow in a 12-tequlia shooter lunch, and tried to do the show hammered. A for effort.
Like many welfare dependants in the country, Citi is just trying to supplement "income" with a good hustle.
Shiti Bank 35% ? Easy short
has Vikram not realized he is an Indian and that they have been tossed under the bus when they are no longer of any value
I'm assuming he's depending on being from a higher-level caste?
An impressive yet subtle attack on those who will not be named via denegrating the tripe produced by their artists. His opening shot against Rothko reminds me of Die Bauten.
I miss Jeff.
"I've dismissed this entire game" and "The lunatics are running the game" The crazy car people clip seems less and less crazy in hindsight.
http://www.businessinsider.com/jeff-macke-goes-nuts-on-dennis-kneale-clip-2009-5
Good old Jeff
'Build-a-Bear' Jeff
Never knew why he disappeared. I've heard him cussed here. Always appreciated his views as he didn't follow the herd.
It wasn't a good thing to have contrarian views on CNBC with Immelt on Obama's tip.
Both bankrupt and able to get unlimited free money while lying on reports. You can't kill these things. But they will never be truly alive.
Not to worry. As the host goes, so goes the parasite.
I like Macke. And he knows polishing a turd leaves you with a turd. Citi is a turd
With the rule of law suspended and corruption & lies now business as usual there's only 2 numbers that matter anymore:
1. how many oz of gold you own
2. how many oz of silver you own
3. guns and bullets
4. food
all done
When it's all lies, how can you tell what's real?
"We got good news from the Dr. today.
Grandma's still in a coma but the Dr. says she is resting comfortably and should continue to do so."
It's good to see they have released Macke from his rubber room and let him take his straight jacket off.
He's gotta lay off the dr00000gz
It's a Rothko, ha.
Where's Dylan Ratigan? -- he's the only man on planet earth that can control Jeff, he must be found before Jeff regains all his powers.
Organ grinder meets his chimp
He made more sense in " Car People "
Macke = Doofus with Pickle and Tapenade.
Had nothing.
Has nothing.
Is nothing.
couldn't agree more, TD.
i think this jeff macke fella is officer material. and though i haven't yet watched the 'car people' thingy; i doubt that has much to do with his dismissal. his being more than a nodding-bobble-headed-buffon is the unpardonable sin. if you dare to think (much less think for yourself) you WILL be fired, imprisoned or 'liquidated' in these here united states. welcome to ZH, jeff macke...though i have this funny feelin you may have been here before -- and rather often.
i can't say for certain; but my hunch is that jeff macke is a metal-man...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TUHFfR8hWcA
unrepentant and unforgiven,
janus
Jeff Macke is awesome.
Yup. He was the first to challenge the CNBC order. Next went Dylan Ratigan, then Charlie Gasparino, and eventually Erin Barnett. All, disgusted to the point that they had to leave. Only one left now is Rick Santelli.