Friday Humor: The Most Downloaded App At The New York Fed Today

Tyler Durden's picture


Because someone has to generate revenue for Apple...

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Fri, 10/19/2012 - 13:05 | 2904629 Shizzmoney
Shizzmoney's picture

I'd figured it would be this, considering this is where the US Dollar is going:

Fri, 10/19/2012 - 13:08 | 2904647 CPL
CPL's picture

For a penny I can hyperventalate into a paper bag.

Fri, 10/19/2012 - 15:21 | 2905197 Lohn Jocke
Lohn Jocke's picture

Too bad that the paper bag is worth more than the penny.

Fri, 10/19/2012 - 20:09 | 2905800 mjcOH1
mjcOH1's picture

A nice scotch is worth more than a penny too.

Both the scotch and the paper bag work.   The iBag and iScotch.....not so much.    You don't get what you used to for a penny.

Fri, 10/19/2012 - 21:24 | 2905904 dark pools of soros
dark pools of soros's picture

Ivan has risen from $45 to $75 in the last 5 years in PA

Fri, 10/19/2012 - 13:08 | 2904650 kaiserhoff
kaiserhoff's picture

Still waiting for my accordion app.

How old are you Kaiser?

Old enough to remember when you could read every post and comment on ZH, and still pretend to have a day job.

Fri, 10/19/2012 - 13:10 | 2904658 Desert Irish
Desert Irish's picture

What's a job?

Fri, 10/19/2012 - 13:38 | 2904784 NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture

Good question. We've just started our latest round of "Job Classification Survey" with the stated goal of "ensuring all employees are fairly compensated."

Meanwhile, it's really going to be about weeding out the expensive employees. Especially ones nearing retirement date.

Fri, 10/19/2012 - 13:49 | 2904831 Pure Evil
Pure Evil's picture

A job is like homework in France, soon to be non-existent.

Fri, 10/19/2012 - 16:56 | 2905451 Silver Bully
Silver Bully's picture

'What's a job?'

By 2016, a job is where 300+ million enter, 1 man leave.

Welcome to Bartertown, stranger.

Fri, 10/19/2012 - 13:07 | 2904634 Cognitive Dissonance
Cognitive Dissonance's picture

Beathe deep my pretty sheep.

Fri, 10/19/2012 - 13:27 | 2904729 Drachma
Drachma's picture

For your flesh will be that more fresh

When it's time to dine

Fri, 10/19/2012 - 14:05 | 2904893 JuliaS
JuliaS's picture

The app comes with a complementary chloroform soaked napkin.

Fri, 10/19/2012 - 13:08 | 2904646 Duke of Con Dao
Fri, 10/19/2012 - 13:46 | 2904810 BlueCollaredOne
BlueCollaredOne's picture

You're quite possible the weirdest internet troll I've ever seen.

You make inane, poorly edited, video clips that you just randomly link after an equally inane comment. 

Surely you get something out of it, otherwise you wouldn't be wasting your time continuing to do it.  Im having a hard time seeing what that is though.  The fact that you've been here for almost 3 years is strange too.  I can't figure you out Duke. 

Fri, 10/19/2012 - 13:52 | 2904837 Pure Evil
Pure Evil's picture

A trip to planet Bizarro will reveal all.

(que - play eerie slightly scary music)

Fri, 10/19/2012 - 15:20 | 2905188 silverserfer
silverserfer's picture

cocaine is a helluva drug

Fri, 10/19/2012 - 13:08 | 2904648 Belarusian Bull
Belarusian Bull's picture

People pay money for it?

Fri, 10/19/2012 - 14:05 | 2904896 knukles
knukles's picture

I tried to get ladies to pay me to pull on my dinky when I got anxious and that didn't work, either.


Fri, 10/19/2012 - 13:10 | 2904656 The big unzip
The big unzip's picture

When there is an app that allows you to shoot yourself when Big Ben is talking,  then I'll get it.  That's an app.

Fri, 10/19/2012 - 13:46 | 2904812 LongSoupLine
LongSoupLine's picture

When there is an all that allows you to shoot Big Ben...

Fixed it...

Fri, 10/19/2012 - 13:10 | 2904660 fuu
fuu's picture

I am beginning to believe those devices are eating the brains of the people.

Fri, 10/19/2012 - 13:14 | 2904678 Big Corked Boots
Big Corked Boots's picture

Yup - the social-skills section of grey matter appears to be the tastiest, especially for the young.

Fri, 10/19/2012 - 13:19 | 2904705 kaiserhoff
kaiserhoff's picture

What tipped you off, the two second attention spans, or the dudes typing and driving with their toes?

Fri, 10/19/2012 - 13:30 | 2904742 fuu
fuu's picture

The icons look like candy.

Fri, 10/19/2012 - 13:41 | 2904794 Unprepared
Unprepared's picture

I thought the most popular app is "Lie With a Straight Face"

Fri, 10/19/2012 - 14:00 | 2904873 pods
pods's picture

They discontinued that app, as the supply of bankers was impacting their salaries.


Fri, 10/19/2012 - 13:19 | 2904703 Whoa Dammit
Whoa Dammit's picture

I think its more like hte Moody Blues "Late Lament" ;-).

Fri, 10/19/2012 - 13:13 | 2904669 Desert Irish
Desert Irish's picture

Fed aint panicking.... all days like this does is make the sheeple clamour for more Fed Twain said "Don't pick fights with people that buy ink by the barrels" hear that market.

Fri, 10/19/2012 - 13:13 | 2904671 ParkAveFlasher
ParkAveFlasher's picture

ZOOSK, bitchez!

Fri, 10/19/2012 - 13:14 | 2904673 francis_sawyer
francis_sawyer's picture

Hey Bernanke... I have a 'breathe' APP made specially for you...

It's called a DUTCH OVEN


Fri, 10/19/2012 - 13:54 | 2904848 Pure Evil
Pure Evil's picture

When you're in a snowball fight, make sure you're throwin' them, not passing them.

Fri, 10/19/2012 - 13:35 | 2904680 El Viejo
El Viejo's picture

Ommmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm an



Fri, 10/19/2012 - 14:08 | 2904902 knukles
knukles's picture


I thought it was a ruse!?!?!?!?!



(seriously depressed, soft whimpering sounds...)

Fri, 10/19/2012 - 14:31 | 2904978 kaiserhoff
kaiserhoff's picture

Unemployed misery loves company.

Fri, 10/19/2012 - 14:58 | 2905102 El Viejo
El Viejo's picture

Fine print humor.  (Alfred Hitchcock-esk)

Fri, 10/19/2012 - 13:15 | 2904681 Darkness
Darkness's picture

This is awesome. 

Fri, 10/19/2012 - 13:15 | 2904683 nmewn
nmewn's picture


At least its not porn ;-)

Fri, 10/19/2012 - 13:16 | 2904691 Village Smithy
Village Smithy's picture

OT but I'm lovin the fact that Tyler didn't even bother to waste even the slightest bit of bandwidth on the Existing Home Sales number this AM.  I'm sure it was on purpose, he has drawn his line in the sand.

Fri, 10/19/2012 - 13:17 | 2904692 SDRII
SDRII's picture

Doctors remove dildo from Chinese man's intestines



Fri, 10/19/2012 - 14:09 | 2904908 BandGap
BandGap's picture

That's 9" for those of you playing at home.

Fri, 10/19/2012 - 13:17 | 2904695 Ned Zeppelin
Ned Zeppelin's picture

Predict green by 4 pm as the algos rush back to VWAP.  Not hard to foresee.

Fri, 10/19/2012 - 13:29 | 2904707 El Viejo
El Viejo's picture

Buy the manufactured Dip. As in buy the FAUX Rally II.

Fri, 10/19/2012 - 13:19 | 2904702 905ozs
905ozs's picture

@ZH There are many twat comments here, but most are comical & knowledgable.
:) thankyou all

Meanwhile; fiat death, proper warIII breaking out, a "NWO" seemingly assured with centralized everything, a sheeple blissfully waiting to be culled.

And so we sit.

.......but we continue to discuss & live the unreality that presumes "this" will still exist in the future.

Blame the Americans for not seeing the obvious & letting Ron Paul get slapped down, ditto the rest of the World.

Blame the Us...the "knowing" for Our sanctimoniousness in action. 

Blame, most of all, that Few Elite... that have set this up and have been profiting for centuries from killing us & centralizing whatever they can.

....of course, around 1890 they understood a World BIS fiat was the key. Ww3 should clinch it...

Bahh bahh, & so we sit.

But keep the humour going right?

Fri, 10/19/2012 - 13:35 | 2904767 Winston Churchill
Winston Churchill's picture

Hungover ?

Grab a little laughter while you can.

Our future is beyond grim, actively fighting the PTB or not .

Fri, 10/19/2012 - 13:56 | 2904856 Pure Evil
Pure Evil's picture

What a doofus that turd is. So I guess we're all supposed to sit around morosely and squirt tears into our faux beer. Grow a pair knucklehead.

Fri, 10/19/2012 - 13:21 | 2904710 Whalley World
Whalley World's picture

To calm down the nerves, I use BeatOff!

Works every time.

Fri, 10/19/2012 - 13:26 | 2904726 youngman
youngman's picture

Do they hava an APP that plays TAPS

Fri, 10/19/2012 - 13:32 | 2904745 Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture

Isn't there a drug for that? We are nation of made up of retards Who create our own anxieties.

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