Friday Humor: The Most Downloaded App At The New York Fed Today

Tyler Durden's picture

Because someone has to generate revenue for Apple...

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Shizzmoney's picture

I'd figured it would be this, considering this is where the US Dollar is going:

https://itunes.apple.com/us/app/ipoop/id313896416?mt=8

CPL's picture

For a penny I can hyperventalate into a paper bag.

Lohn Jocke's picture

Too bad that the paper bag is worth more than the penny.

mjcOH1's picture

A nice scotch is worth more than a penny too.

Both the scotch and the paper bag work.   The iBag and iScotch.....not so much.    You don't get what you used to for a penny.

dark pools of soros's picture

Ivan has risen from $45 to $75 in the last 5 years in PA

kaiserhoff's picture

Still waiting for my accordion app.

How old are you Kaiser?

Old enough to remember when you could read every post and comment on ZH, and still pretend to have a day job.

NotApplicable's picture

Good question. We've just started our latest round of "Job Classification Survey" with the stated goal of "ensuring all employees are fairly compensated."

Meanwhile, it's really going to be about weeding out the expensive employees. Especially ones nearing retirement date.

Pure Evil's picture

A job is like homework in France, soon to be non-existent.

Silver Bully's picture

'What's a job?'

By 2016, a job is where 300+ million enter, 1 man leave.

Welcome to Bartertown, stranger.

Cognitive Dissonance's picture

Beathe deep my pretty sheep.

Drachma's picture

For your flesh will be that more fresh

When it's time to dine

JuliaS's picture

The app comes with a complementary chloroform soaked napkin.

BlueCollaredOne's picture

You're quite possible the weirdest internet troll I've ever seen.

You make inane, poorly edited, video clips that you just randomly link after an equally inane comment. 

Surely you get something out of it, otherwise you wouldn't be wasting your time continuing to do it.  Im having a hard time seeing what that is though.  The fact that you've been here for almost 3 years is strange too.  I can't figure you out Duke. 

Pure Evil's picture

A trip to planet Bizarro will reveal all.

(que - play eerie slightly scary music)

Belarusian Bull's picture

People pay money for it?

knukles's picture

I tried to get ladies to pay me to pull on my dinky when I got anxious and that didn't work, either.

Booyah!
Forward!

The big unzip's picture

When there is an app that allows you to shoot yourself when Big Ben is talking,  then I'll get it.  That's an app.

LongSoupLine's picture

When there is an all that allows you to shoot Big Ben...

Fixed it...

fuu's picture

I am beginning to believe those devices are eating the brains of the people.

Big Corked Boots's picture

Yup - the social-skills section of grey matter appears to be the tastiest, especially for the young.

kaiserhoff's picture

What tipped you off, the two second attention spans, or the dudes typing and driving with their toes?

fuu's picture

The icons look like candy.

Unprepared's picture

I thought the most popular app is "Lie With a Straight Face"

pods's picture

They discontinued that app, as the supply of bankers was impacting their salaries.

pods

Whoa Dammit's picture

I think its more like hte Moody Blues "Late Lament" ;-).

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MOreMkVIZW0

Desert Irish's picture

Fed aint panicking.... all days like this does is make the sheeple clamour for more Fed intervention....as Twain said "Don't pick fights with people that buy ink by the barrels" hear that market.

francis_sawyer's picture

Hey Bernanke... I have a 'breathe' APP made specially for you...

It's called a DUTCH OVEN

~~~

http://www.chacha.com/question/what-is-the-urban-dictionary-meaning-of-a-dutch-oven

Pure Evil's picture

When you're in a snowball fight, make sure you're throwin' them, not passing them.

knukles's picture

WHAT THE FUCK!

I thought it was a ruse!?!?!?!?!

OMG.....

 

(seriously depressed, soft whimpering sounds...)

kaiserhoff's picture

Unemployed misery loves company.

El Viejo's picture

Fine print humor.  (Alfred Hitchcock-esk)

Darkness's picture

This is awesome. 

nmewn's picture

Ohhhmmm....Ohhhmmm....Sniiiiiiiiffffff.

At least its not porn ;-)

Village Smithy's picture

OT but I'm lovin the fact that Tyler didn't even bother to waste even the slightest bit of bandwidth on the Existing Home Sales number this AM.  I'm sure it was on purpose, he has drawn his line in the sand.

BandGap's picture

That's 9" for those of you playing at home.

Ned Zeppelin's picture

Predict green by 4 pm as the algos rush back to VWAP.  Not hard to foresee.

El Viejo's picture

Buy the manufactured Dip. As in buy the FAUX Rally II.

905ozs's picture

@ZH There are many twat comments here, but most are comical & knowledgable.
:) thankyou all

Meanwhile; fiat death, proper warIII breaking out, a "NWO" seemingly assured with centralized everything, a sheeple blissfully waiting to be culled.

And so we sit.

.......but we continue to discuss & live the unreality that presumes "this" will still exist in the future.

Blame the Americans for not seeing the obvious & letting Ron Paul get slapped down, ditto the rest of the World.

Blame the Us...the "knowing" for Our sanctimoniousness in action. 

Blame, most of all, that Few Elite... that have set this up and have been profiting for centuries from killing us & centralizing whatever they can.

....of course, around 1890 they understood a World BIS fiat was the key. Ww3 should clinch it...

Bahh bahh, & so we sit.

But keep the humour going right?

Winston Churchill's picture

Hungover ?

Grab a little laughter while you can.

Our future is beyond grim, actively fighting the PTB or not .

Pure Evil's picture

What a doofus that turd is. So I guess we're all supposed to sit around morosely and squirt tears into our faux beer. Grow a pair knucklehead.

Whalley World's picture

To calm down the nerves, I use BeatOff!

Works every time.

youngman's picture

Do they hava an APP that plays TAPS

Dr. Engali's picture

Isn't there a drug for that? We are nation of made up of retards Who create our own anxieties.