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Friday Humor: The Most Downloaded App At The New York Fed Today
Because someone has to generate revenue for Apple...
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I'd figured it would be this, considering this is where the US Dollar is going:
https://itunes.apple.com/us/app/ipoop/id313896416?mt=8
For a penny I can hyperventalate into a paper bag.
Too bad that the paper bag is worth more than the penny.
A nice scotch is worth more than a penny too.
Both the scotch and the paper bag work. The iBag and iScotch.....not so much. You don't get what you used to for a penny.
Ivan has risen from $45 to $75 in the last 5 years in PA
Still waiting for my accordion app.
How old are you Kaiser?
Old enough to remember when you could read every post and comment on ZH, and still pretend to have a day job.
What's a job?
Good question. We've just started our latest round of "Job Classification Survey" with the stated goal of "ensuring all employees are fairly compensated."
Meanwhile, it's really going to be about weeding out the expensive employees. Especially ones nearing retirement date.
A job is like homework in France, soon to be non-existent.
'What's a job?'
By 2016, a job is where 300+ million enter, 1 man leave.
Welcome to Bartertown, stranger.
Beathe deep my pretty sheep.
For your flesh will be that more fresh
When it's time to dine
The app comes with a complementary chloroform soaked napkin.
Cliff never had to worry about Panic:
YouTube - Presidential Debate - Cliff Robertson to Romney: 'How Do You Know?''
You're quite possible the weirdest internet troll I've ever seen.
You make inane, poorly edited, video clips that you just randomly link after an equally inane comment.
Surely you get something out of it, otherwise you wouldn't be wasting your time continuing to do it. Im having a hard time seeing what that is though. The fact that you've been here for almost 3 years is strange too. I can't figure you out Duke.
A trip to planet Bizarro will reveal all.
(que - play eerie slightly scary music)
cocaine is a helluva drug
People pay money for it?
I tried to get ladies to pay me to pull on my dinky when I got anxious and that didn't work, either.
Booyah!
Forward!
When there is an app that allows you to shoot yourself when Big Ben is talking, then I'll get it. That's an app.
When there is an all that allows you to shoot Big Ben...
Fixed it...
I am beginning to believe those devices are eating the brains of the people.
Yup - the social-skills section of grey matter appears to be the tastiest, especially for the young.
What tipped you off, the two second attention spans, or the dudes typing and driving with their toes?
The icons look like candy.
I thought the most popular app is "Lie With a Straight Face"
They discontinued that app, as the supply of bankers was impacting their salaries.
pods
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DLOth-BuCNY
I think its more like hte Moody Blues "Late Lament" ;-).
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MOreMkVIZW0
Fed aint panicking.... all days like this does is make the sheeple clamour for more Fed intervention....as Twain said "Don't pick fights with people that buy ink by the barrels" hear that market.
ZOOSK, bitchez!
Hey Bernanke... I have a 'breathe' APP made specially for you...
It's called a DUTCH OVEN
~~~
http://www.chacha.com/question/what-is-the-urban-dictionary-meaning-of-a-dutch-oven
When you're in a snowball fight, make sure you're throwin' them, not passing them.
Ommmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm an
http://www.linkedin.com/pub/jane-anderson-hawkes/20/336/916
WHAT THE FUCK!
I thought it was a ruse!?!?!?!?!
OMG.....
(seriously depressed, soft whimpering sounds...)
Unemployed misery loves company.
Fine print humor. (Alfred Hitchcock-esk)
This is awesome.
Ohhhmmm....Ohhhmmm....Sniiiiiiiiffffff.
At least its not porn ;-)
OT but I'm lovin the fact that Tyler didn't even bother to waste even the slightest bit of bandwidth on the Existing Home Sales number this AM. I'm sure it was on purpose, he has drawn his line in the sand.
Doctors remove dildo from Chinese man's intestines
http://www.straitstimes.com/breaking-news/asia/story/doctors-remove-dild...
That's 9" for those of you playing at home.
Predict green by 4 pm as the algos rush back to VWAP. Not hard to foresee.
Buy the manufactured Dip. As in buy the FAUX Rally II.
@ZH There are many twat comments here, but most are comical & knowledgable.
:) thankyou all
Meanwhile; fiat death, proper warIII breaking out, a "NWO" seemingly assured with centralized everything, a sheeple blissfully waiting to be culled.
And so we sit.
.......but we continue to discuss & live the unreality that presumes "this" will still exist in the future.
Blame the Americans for not seeing the obvious & letting Ron Paul get slapped down, ditto the rest of the World.
Blame the Us...the "knowing" for Our sanctimoniousness in action.
Blame, most of all, that Few Elite... that have set this up and have been profiting for centuries from killing us & centralizing whatever they can.
....of course, around 1890 they understood a World BIS fiat was the key. Ww3 should clinch it...
Bahh bahh, & so we sit.
But keep the humour going right?
Hungover ?
Grab a little laughter while you can.
Our future is beyond grim, actively fighting the PTB or not .
What a doofus that turd is. So I guess we're all supposed to sit around morosely and squirt tears into our faux beer. Grow a pair knucklehead.
To calm down the nerves, I use BeatOff!
Works every time.
Do they hava an APP that plays TAPS
Isn't there a drug for that? We are nation of made up of retards Who create our own anxieties.
I thought the the FED's App was IPRINT!
Yes. Everything about that screenshot. Yes.
you are wrong. it is the iPrint that the Fed download the most.
Why is everybody heading for the showers?
They heard Jerry Sandusky is dropping by with a few of his little friends.
Gross!
Oh, you people are really sick. I meant he would drop by with all his little friends, the dwarfs.
You folks should really stop visiting sites like NAMBLA, the Boy Scouts, and My Little Peter Pumpkin Eater.
Oh GOODY. Bob Piss-ani is on CNBS with Art Cashin. I can't wait to hear his wortless ass talk about earnings beats! Piss-ani you moron! He will ignore that question like the plague, and jump on the bear bandwagon!
Ben's just waking up after his massage....get ready to buy exiring out of the money calls boyzzzz
What about an app that prints money?
In other news...
The fake ass unemployment numbers last week? Made up by Obama donor! And yes, it was California's numbers.
http://dailycaller.com/2012/10/18/calif-official-whose-agency-under-repo...
Calif. official whose agency under-reported unemployment stats was Obama campaign donorhttp://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/asia/northkorea/9619565/North-...
North Korea threatens 'merciless strike' against the south
The Korean People's Army (KPA) vowed to initiate the strike if a group of North Korean defectors now living in the South went ahead with plans to scatter propaganda leaflets next Monday from balloons floated over the border.
http://stratrisks.com/geostrat/8717
Russia to Target Turkey with anti-Aircraft Missiles
http://stratrisks.com/geostrat/8725
Iraq Intends to Deploy Troops in Kurdistan to Stop Turkey’s Military Operations
http://thestar.com.my/news/story.asp?file=/2012/10/19/worldupdates/2012-...
Turkey retaliates after shells fired from Syria - state TV
http://www.naharnet.com/stories/en/57701-8-dead-78-hurt-as-powerful-car-...
8 Dead, 78 Hurt as Powerful Car Bomb Hits near Ashrafiyeh's Sassine Square
A powerful car bomb on Friday rocked a street adjacent to Sassine Square in Ashrafiyeh, leaving eight people dead and 78 people wounded, in the first such attack in the Lebanese capital since 2008, state-run National News Agency reported.
http://www.theatlantic.com/politics/archive/2012/10/how-the-democratic-b...
How the Democratic Base Could Lose This Election for Obama
"President Obama is prepared to veto legislation to block year-end tax hikes and spending cuts, collectively known as the 'fiscal cliff,' unless Republicans bow to his demand to raise tax rates for the wealthy, administration officials said." So reported the Washington Post on Thursday.
WAIT
Inhale
4 Lines
of
White
Powder
Just as it's not the same "white powder" that caused problems for the US Postal Service some years ago . . . . . . .
My colleagues would recomment ciprofloxacin 750mg bd in such an instance (and you'd better hope the contents weren't "engineered" for pan-resistance a la the well-reported Russian Plague "experiment"!)
Additionally I'm eagerly awaiting the walking app for my phone. I've been finding it increasingly difficult to remember the sequence of putting one fucking leg in front of the other.
Same here- but only when I chew gum.
Late Lament
(Graeme Edge)
Breathe deep the gathering gloom,
Watch lights fade from every room.
Bedsitter people look back and lament,
Another day's useless energy spent.
Impassioned lovers wrestle as one,
Lonely man cries for love and has none.
New mother picks up and suckles her son,
Senior citizens wish they were young.
Cold hearted orb that rules the night,
Removes the colours from our sight.
Red is grey and yellow white,
But we decide which is right.
And which is an illusion.
Wha' happen????
cue .. deer in headlights
Isn't this about the time ...
1. Hilsenrath has some tweet about the Fed.
2. Someone comes on CNBC complains about short ETF's.
3. CNBC ... We are going to close well off the lows.
Fucking great!
If you think our central planners are going to let this selloff get out of control you underestimate our fearless controllers.
Could be. 'American' economics is all about consumption and such apps could be. Consuming just for the sake of consuming.
Nations the US government has (officially) bombed since WW2. Korea and China 1950-53 (Korean War) Guatemala 1954 Indonesia 1958 Cuba 1959-1961 Guatemala 1960 Congo 1964 Laos 1964-73 Vietnam 1961-73 Cambodia 1969-70 Guatemala 1967-69 Grenada 1983 Lebanon 1983, 1984 (both Lebanese and Syrian targets) Libya 1986 El Salvador 1980s Nicaragua 1980s Iran 1987 Panama 1989 Iraq 1991 (Persian Gulf War) Kuwait 1991 Somalia 1993 Bosnia 1994, 1995 Sudan 1998 Afghanistan 1998 Yugoslavia 1999 Yemen 2002 Iraq 1991-2003 (US/UK on regular basis) Iraq 2003-present Afghanistan 2001-present Pakistan 2007-present Somalia 2007-8, 2011 Yemen 2009, 2011 Libya 2011....etc, 350 million souls killed in the 20thC via war, most civilians.
Next?
And so we sit waiting to be culled.
Maybe God will send an asteroid the size of Texas to slam into the Earth on Dec. 12, 2012 and then we'll really have a reason to lament.
Definitely a big culling operation, but whom do we blame?
An impact by a massive object the size of Texas (travelling at, say Mach 12 on impact) would be a planetary cauterising event. Life (including microbial life) would be eliminated and we'd be back to a Venus-like environment for quite some time.
Preferably a gold asteroid to pay off the derivatives market! Unless some other lifeforms beat us to it and it turns out to be gold-plated tungsten...
ah hahahahahaha ha. NOT! ITs like local news today on ZH. 'And Martha has been knitting her own tampons for over 47 years now."
NEWSFLASH - I never saw anyone ever panic at the Fed.... The upper level execs are too damn arrogant to EVER think they might be wrong - hell, they don't even know or understand what the hell is going on around them. You see the underlings keep the bubble going - I spent years backing onto one number a CVP read wrong, could justify that number no matter what was going on or what changed. At higher levels the mathmatical gymnastics are amazing. It's all about supporting foregone conclusions (pulled from God knows where).
lol