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And The Winner Of The First Lady Debate Is...
While our highly sophisticated scoring methodology - based on length-of-time speaking, words-spoken, and drinking-game-based buzzword bingo scores - has produced a result skewed to the Republican candidates, it seems the real world of intelligent voters sees things more tied with the last debate having been won by the incumbent. However, in order to settle the tie, Jimmy Kimmel decided to ask members of the voting public who they thought won the 'First Lady' Debate; the results will not surprise you - though clarification of stereotypes, biases, and why none of it matters (we refer readers to our earlier post on Deer Crossings for clarification) will be helpful we are sure...
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LMFAO
Looks like a tie.
We may need a bake-off!
Neither one won. Tie breaker is for both of them to drop their laundry. May the best bootie win.
My toilet overfloweth.
Here's a classic example of the vast difference between Americans and Australians...the average Australian would give the reporter a weird look and say something like: "ummm, who gives a fuck what the wife of an elected leader thinks or says, duh!".
I mean, just listen to the ground sheet at 1:20...at first glance she seems like she has it together, but no, she's a typical moron.
And just to show you exactly how fucked up American politics is...how fucked up America is in general...do you think it's coincidence that the dirt on Lance Armstrong has come to the surface just before the US elections, considering that Armstrong is buddies with Obama, having each other's mobile number....do ya?! Anyone remember the Ides of March: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pV-50ay79mk
There's a reason why it's 16 Trillion and climbing...but when the music stops, the average American, who stupidly put his/her faith and trust into 'The American Way', and that of the 'Commander & Chief' (Scoff, more like 'Common Thief'), will come to the stark realisation that they were fooled, and that they have always been on their own, but didn't know it.
And it all starts with being...stupid...and full of shit.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8rh6qqsmxNs&feature=related
EDIT: Oh, here come those stupid people Carlin talks about, voting my comments down, hiding from the obvious truth with absolute denial...fucking Ostriches!
TwoShortPlanks
The only difference I see is Australia cancelled RUSH way too fucking soon.
But RAKE kind of makes up for that.
If you haven't seen Rake you are missing out
funny how all those aussies didnt tell the federal reserve to fuck off when we sent $54billion in swaps their way......ostriches my ass.
You can say what we want, but we still have guns. Lots of them. I'm sure if your livestock could talk they'd sound pretty much the same. Except ours don't have to beg and plead on bended knee to a fatuous ass politician to own a firearm.
Comment votes, who gives a fuck except genderly confused people from the southern hemisphere.
Yeah, our politics suck, but at least we can blow off a little steam.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UYc6cZOSvB8&feature=endscreen&NR=1
Whoever get's schmelected we, as a country, deserve'em.
By the way... I, personally, wouldn't mind in an 8-year suspension of the Article 1, Section 9, Clause 8 of the Constitution (the Title of Nobility Clause) so Ron Paul could be crowned...
P.S. Don't confuse the above Section 9 with the blood-sucking Section 8 (free housing).
P.P.S. Do not confuse the Nobility Clause with a free-govEment-paid-MOBILITY-scooter-sold-on-eBay.
P.P.P.S. ... but what do I know? I am just a 20-pound anorexic gorilla in the room... ;-)
Moochelle won by a butt cheek in the photo finish.
Won what? The prize for the biggest Ass in her defense I suppose if you have to use more material it does cost more
Us gives the world the following headline: "0."
In the body of the piece Us reports this description of Ann Romney's couture.
I expect we are supposed to find it shocking, downright shocking, that a millionaire could afford to fork out nearly $1,700 for a frock.
And yet, "public servant" Michelle Obama's outfit was almost twice as costly as Romney's.
I'll start a batch of cannibutter.
After the bake off we can watch the presidential debate and enjoy the winning brownies...
Choomies! You can eat just one!...nom nom nom
(PS. Do Mormons get stoned?)
Only for cheating on their husbands...
Although if things go badly enough during President Romnesia's stint as the CEO of the USA one never knows...
just remember, not so large as a boulder nor so small as a pebble. like, say, a tangerine.
http://jesusalive.cc/ques199.htm
Please fashion one in the shape of a piece of lipstic, I'd like to take mine rectally.
Doing that to that poor kitty kat is not nice or funny. Look at his poor confused face with him wondering, what's going on? 'I knew I couldn't trust people'. That actually must have been quit painful for his nose. :-( Poor thing. The lady that walked into the cling film can make sense of it all being a joke, the cat can not.
Before you unwind on me lady I want you to know there was a catnip mouse on a string involved...
The Collective Wisdom of Individual Ignorance
We're fucked. We are so stupid. Stoooopid.
Our greatest export is diabetes.
I prefered the MMA match between Tagg and Malia.
Baaahh!
"Is The Voice on tonight?"
"I love paying with my cell phone app."
"Self-Checkout is so cool!"
"I think I'll take out a student loan."
"Why can't I find a decent job?"
What do you expect from LaLaland?
Notice Spiderman walking through at 2:15
Wow, simply wow. They are so fucking clueless and you're supposed to care?
Thanks for pointing out Spiderman...made my day!
Spider man with a string bikini bottom...
Where's a Spiderman towel when you need one!
And then the first guy comes back around at 2:25. Couldn't get enough I guess.
1:19 Too bad she's full of shit.
midway between stupid and fuckin' nuts (g.c.).
I always vote for the female with the biggest tits and the smallest ass, but what do I know ?
Jessica Rabbit 2016
Yo, blood, baby got back, and all that shizzle.
If that's how you vote, then you probably have a hot assed wife/girlfriend.
Rainman
Gina: I'm finished speaking to both of you okay? You're both fucking insane. You want to know what your problem is? MTV, Playboy, and Madison fucking Avenue. Yes. Let me explain something to you, ok? Girls with big tits have big asses. Girls with little tits have little asses. That's the way it goes. God doesn't fuck around; he's a fair guy. He gave the fatties big, beautiful tits and the skinnies little tiny niddlers. It's not my rule. If you don't like it, call him. Hey Mitch. Thank you.
[Looking at a porn magazine]
Gina: Oh, guys, look what we have here. Look at this, your favorite. Oh, you like that?
Tommy: I could go along with that.
Gina: Yeah, that's nice right? Well, it doesn't exist ok. Look at the hair. The hair is long, it's flowing, it's like a river. Well, it's a fucking weave ok? And the tits, please! I could hang my overcoat on them. Tits by design were invented to be suckled by babies. Yes, they're purely functional. These are silicon city. And look, my favorite, the shaved pubis. Pubic hair being too unruly and all. Very key. This is a mockery, this is a sham, this is bullshit. Implants, collagen, plastic, capped teeth, the fat sucked out, the hair extended, the nose fixed, the bush shaved... These are not real women, all right? They're beauty freaks. And they make all us normal women with our wrinkles, our puckered boobs, hi bob, and our cellulite feel somehow inadequate. Well I don't buy it, all right? But you fucking mooks, if you think that if there's a chance in hell that you'll end up with one of these women, you don't give us real women anything approaching a commitment. It's pathetic. I don't know what you think you're going to do. You're going to end up eighty-years old, drooling in some nursing home, then you're going to decide, it's time to settle down, get married, have kids? What, are you going to find a cheerleader? Charge it Mitch.
Tommy: I think you're over simplifying.
Gina: Oh eat me. Look at Paul. With his models on the wall, his dog named Elle McPherson. He's insane. He's obsessed. You're all obsessed. If you had an once of self-esteem, of self-worth, of self-confidence, you would realize that as trite as it may sound, beauty is truly skin-deep. And you know what, if you ever did hook one of those girls, I guarantee you'd be sick of her.
Tommy: Yeah, I suppose I'd get sick of her after about, what, twenty or thirty years?
Gina: Get over yourself. Thank you Mitch. Say hello to Gertrude.
Tommy: What?
Gina: No mater how perfect the nipple, how supple the thigh, unless there is some other shit going on in the relationship, besides the physical, it's going to get old, ok? And you guys, as a gender, have got to get a grip. Otherwise, the future of the human race is in jeopardy.
Willie Conway: What was that?
Tommy: I don't know, but a great ass.
Willie Conway: Nice tits. Come on let's go.
These people aren't clueless, they're lying. Which shows that the dishonesty in the two party system includes the voters.
My point exactly ....Does lying come so naturally to people in America? Not one of them flinched or hesitated for a second...It's like they actually believe they saw it....
This is all so tragically funny....
Somewhere inside themselves they feel a twinge of guilt for not engaging in anything of real importance.
Democracy is a joke.
Regustered land owners and business owners should be the only people allowed to vote.
http://freegoldobserver.blogspot.ca/
Tyler won't let me give you more than one up-tick!
Tyler won't let me give you more than one down vote.
Mossad agent-quit pushing your bullshit blog
I have both. Can I have two votes?
That depends. Who are you voting for?
The system would get perverted and we'd end up worse than where we started: The money changers and multinationals would end up controlling congress and all our land. Neither more restrictions nor more government will lead to more liberty.
Sounds a lot like - right now. Current reality. Been sleeping in much ?
"The system would get perverted ".......... You mean the system that is not now perverted? Name that system.
Vagabond
Liberty has and always will be an individuals state of mind.
Free your head baby, free your head.
And people who can spell registered...
How about this: In order to vote in a federal election you have to show your federal income tax returns. If you didnt pay federal income tax, you dont get to vote in the federal election. Same goes at the state level.
Zap Powerz
I would say to vote in any election one should not only read Sometimes a great notion but also explain just why it's message is so important.
How about people that pay taxes or in the military after six years.
We're FUUUCKED.
ha ha,what a bunch of lying morons,wonder why this country is the way it is! does anyone have sym,sym,sympathy for them?
we call it democracy and diebold, things
go better with coke.
.
Roy Orbison - Things go better with Coke
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UqJyqjkKDW0
.
as has been said, "sad and beautiful".
.
Down By Law - Buzz Off
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZP2tqJTSfgU
.
and very funny till it becomes really weird
and serious. there the progression.
funny to weird to serious and humourless.
perhaps?
to my red arrow friend.
.
BEHIND THE VEIL: Never-Before-Seen Footage of Secret Mormon Temple Rituals
.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=6udew9axmdM
.
" behind the veil ". YU THE MN A.
. goes both ways so let it be discussed with
words and language beyond colored arrows?
ah, why both er?
like a tumor, repetitive and consistent.
good luck !
First ladys? How about first bitchez?
"Bitch Bad"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C3m3t_PxiUI
Moochelle likes the free shit she gets as First Porch Monkey-as well as telling whitey how to eat. It's too bad Mitten's old lady doesn't get involved in a Chris Reeve-like incident on her dressage horse. fuck both of these elitist bitches.
As to your last sentence, I concur.
No surprise. No clue of what's going on. Owned by hollywood and the media.
If the media stated amother Hitler type was good, most would go along with it.
To be completely fair - these interviews happened in LA, the most ignorant, self-absorbed city in the United States...behind Washington D.C of course.
" When the Oakies left Oklahoma for California they increased the IQs of both States "
Will Rogers
why in the FUCK was there even a "first lady" debate? I mean how is this relevant?
heres a great idea: transfer all private student debt held to all US politicians and their wives, then maybe they'll get the point of what the fuck is going on.
Did you watch the first lady debate?
lol could not tell if he forgot the sarc....
Me to :-0
Yes, Michelle Obama won, but it was more like a feelin' I had than anythingg based remotely in fact.
As we swirl around the bowl of the toilet...stupid people should not be allowed to vote.
Period.
Fuck the vote, how do we stop them reproducing?
I'm sure they're all "very respnsible reproducers"...on second thought, maybe just let them keep voting ;-)
I think you meant "very reprehensible reproducers". They're also further proof that turkeys WILL vote for Thanksgiving, with just a little televisual nudging.
"When four Americans get killed, it’s not optimal."...no word yet on the turkeys voting ;-)
LOL LOL LOL
First lady mass debate.
There, I said it. Now see it. Let that vision burn into your mind and the backs of your eyelids. Both ladys, gettin it on together on stage for some mass debation. OH YEAH.
You deserve it for commenting as astutely as the passers by did for their "interviews."
I see what you did there ;-)
dunno, maybe you should ask siri
like the interview of the college kidz before the first o v M debate, like 4 hours before, and "who won?"
... not the American people, whose intelligence is insulted with each and every public appearance of these hangers on.
Alarmist: you are only half right--'cuz it is the O campaign that has written off the "white, working class". Or don't you read the NYT? Or don't you understand about coal miners?
That's my reddie on ya.
- Ned
All hope is lost. That was the epitome of the term, "Brain Dead"!
hope 'n change 'n shit.
Wow! Just WOW!
If this is indicative of the voting populous in the U.S., we are indeed all doomed!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w7RIgs3eygo
Consider this along with the "Obamaphone" video and the "Let's Ban Corporate Profits" video and yes it is clear...we are indeed all doomed.
WE ARE DOOMED, indeed.
Can the first pets debate next? They can simulcast it on CNN, ABC, CBS, FOX, Fark, Reddit, and Icanhascheezeburger.
Seamus enjoyed a happy ride and a happy life. Bo is always lookin' over his shoulder when our dear president offers to "Wok the Dog"
Don't cha' know.
- Ned
we're fucked
Bah, It's Kalifornya for gods sake, everyone lives in their owns self constructed reality. I like the poll that shows a good portion of folks under 30 think their life is a reality show. They probably do think they watched the debate. Kinda like "are you an actor?" they always blurt out "why yes" without thinking.
DO NOT lump all of California with those water-stealing (and wasting), drive anywhere further than a block, "I've got a script in development" fucktards squirming like maggots in an open wound south of the San Gabriels.
Dude with a 'tude.
Of course, all of california is about to cast the huge vote for the ONE, so your "un-lump" comment is really for shit, 'cuz that's the way that the next big vote will go.
machs nichst.
- Med
Obviously these people are lying. However, how many people did the interviewer had to tape to produce this seeming clear string of deceit/fools? Also, to choose Hollywood Blvd to do this ... makes sense if one wants these results. It's the pit of "Hollywood", which is - in itself - a pit. That said, I agree. This and the previous post about the call on deer crossings are good telltales of the state of US culture.
"If you can't dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bullshit."
W.C. Fields
"During one of my treks through Afghanistan, we lost our corkscrew. We were compelled to live on food and water for several days." ~ W.C. Fields
Michelle reminds me of the alien in the movie, Predator.
can we just all admit that ann romney looks like a stepford wife? just like mcCains wife.....of course, neither are exact replicants of the supreme example of stepford wife model 1000, newt gingrich's wife.
wow. I mean is there a better way for a guy to admit he feels inferior to women than to marry any of these three? hello? calling barbie dolls.....
yikes, I wouldn't touch that
Marie Antoinette was the Stepford wife #1
Jimmy is WASTED!
Early on, I think Michelle's inspiring treatise on diet and nutrition put her in the lead. But two things seemed to turn the tide for Ann. First, the moderator's (PBS's Gwen Awful) unconcealed favoritsm for the First Lady, and then Ann's superior list of favorite charities and community causes.
Democratic cryonism is best cryonism!
http://washingtonexaminer.com/1.5b-contract-in-iraq-for-bidens-little-br...
$1.5B contract in Iraq for Biden’s little brother exposes Obama ahead of debate
“Since November 2010, James Biden has been the executive vice president of Hill International’s housing subsidiary despite little if any documented work history in residential construction,” Fox explains. “And if the company’s projections are accurate, both Hill and Biden are on the verge of a huge payday, beneficiaries, some analysts believe, of James Biden’s connections to the Obama Administration through his older brother.”
Sherrif Joe strikes again.
No wonder the idiot couldn't stop laughing in his debate...fucking thieves.
romneys wife would have done better but she's trained to only speak when spoken to.
Fu**in' hell are Amerikwans dumb
Half of Pussy Riot has been shipped off to the Gulag.
....and yet Amerikwanna is concerned about a couple of dried up hags
Don't forget....the popularity contest takes place the first week in November. Your two party dictators will be expecting your support for the "best dressed"
Pussy Riot? Fuck you CIA.
Film your own reality show breaking in and rescuing them!
"Pussy Riot" is a "band" that has produced no music, is paid by the CIA to put Russia in a bad light. Wise up.
Can you imagine such media sympathy for a similar group disrupting a synagogue ritual?
I didn't think so.
Of these two, Mrs Romney won't be too bad.
I vote Rosalynn Carter best modern first lady. She was just a decent lady that knew how to be gracious.
There are no pictures of her glaring out over a crowd, no stupid diatribes. Jimmuh stunk, but she was cool.
Who the fuck is that Mexican Spiderman?
Sasquatch +4, Grandma Romney +1, American Taxpayer -16 Trillion and counting.
Re Who won The First Lady debate
Dunno - the one with the biggest t!ts?
first lady debate is on in 20 minutes
http://www.c-span.org/Debates/
actually I think it's the third, not the first
The kids on South Park got it right.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yQBiyRSbeFQ
Well that at least explains how and why Obama is leading in California. Also, why people continue to vote Pelosi, Boxer, Waters, etc. in year after year. Here all along I thought the polls were just bs. That shows you what a failed educational system does to a democratic republic eventually.
If they have one in Detroit, they can call it "The Hoedown in Motown"
Best southern voice.
I hear'd sum rich ladylikes were gonna sling sum good mud tonite. Y'All dis talk'n dis hurt'n m'head.
Where's dah fe-male mud wrastlin'?!
Presenting something better to do than watch the debates tonight. In addition to all of the other productive things you could be doing, if you feel the need to do something unproductive, such as watch the debate, then I offer you this challenge. Some of you might recall this productivity killer from the past.
I am already at 1870 feet.(personal best so far)
http://www.addictinggames.com/funny-games/kittencannon.jsp
1870 feet! You're good.
Jon Stewart won the debate!!