"First, God Made Idiots. That Was Just For Practice. Then He Made Politicians"

Tyler Durden's picture

Via Mark J. Grant, author of Out of the Box,

Politicians lead you to make more mistakes than any human invention in history with the possible exceptions of handguns and tequila.
Prudence has come into question these days in investing. It is not just the fiscal cliff in the United States but also the various monetary cliffs in Europe that lead me to this observation. I heard from a reporter from Reuters over the weekend stating that I was wrong and that things were more settled in Europe because the ECB had mollified the market pressures. He lives in Brussels so I am not surprised with his viewpoint and I think he is correct in his remark except that market pressures are not nearly the whole story these days. It is like we are hiking in the Alps and the path is narrow and there are savage drop-offs to the left and to the right and we have been walking for some time now and are tired and the danger increases as our weariness grows.
My mechanic recently told me; "I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder."
One might suppose, in America, that the danger of our plunging into the sea of adversity decreases if Romney is elected along with a Republican Congress because everyone will be on basically the same page. Obama in the White House and a Republican Congress could lead to all kinds of issues that could cause lock-up and political stalemate. It may be better in some circumstances to have a divided leadership but perhaps not in our present circumstances. We will all know the results of the election soon enough.
Everyone has a photographic memory, some just don't have film.
In Europe we have gone nowhere. Yes, the ECB has presented their grand proclamation of unlimited money forever and ever and praise God and Hallelujah but the condition ties the horse to the cart and is inseparable according to Mr. Draghi. Yes, the markets have been soothed by his comments or perhaps it is just the fear of intervention that has driven both speculative and real money from the marketplace. Yet the European Union has gone nowhere in addressing the funding of Cyprus, of Spain, of Portugal and of Greece. With Athens it may get down to some day in November when they call Berlin and say, “Out of money, we are out of money and can’t pay our bills and now what?” Then we will have panic and chaos which may not square up with the next new, new Summit that will most assuredly save Europe as we are told for the zillionth time.
In Europe they are following their dreams. In Brussels they ask where they are going. In Berlin they tell you where they are going. They will all meet up with them eventually.
The prudence issue is a real one. It is quite difficult to be the prudent man given the road we are traversing.  If we keep stumbling along and the central banks of the known world keep providing liquidity then there is some reason for the compression in the bond markets and for the state of the equity markets but if the European recession hits the American shores, as it appears that it is as denoted by recent corporate earnings, and if China finds itself mired in Beijing maple syrup and if Europe reaches a point of non-agreement and non-compromise then our circumstances will be drastically changed and I mean drastically. Central bank intervention is the only thing, in my opinion, that is holding the construct together and politics both in America and in Europe could cancel the blank checks as a result of the votes of the citizens in various countries.
In the first place God made idiots. That was just for practice. Then he made politicians.
Grant’s Rules 1-10 do not vary. “Preservation of Capital” must be the watchword in this market; in all markets. Any mistake made is now magnified by our very low interest rates so that any error is compounded by the ability to make back the loss. In America we are facing our national elections. In Europe we are facing a hardening of positions where the divisions between the North and the South, with France lining up with the Socialist South, are edging closer to some nation or another refusing to fund. The scheme of diversion can last only so long as real decisions with real consequences are about to be forced upon the Continent as funding must come or not come and as various nations do not want to use their citizen’s money to hand to other countries that have engaged in fiscally irresponsible strategies.  I repeat, one more time, that we have entered the “Danger Zone” in my view where the investment tactics of today may not be suited for what is just ahead. The road has been long, the liquidity provided by the Central Banks and the lack of political consensus has caused delay after delay but soon, very soon, the Europeans are going to be forced to decide; fund or not to fund and then the “really big show” will get underway!
Sherlock and Watson are out camping. In the middle of the night, Sherlock wakes Watson up.
"Watson, please look up and tell me what you deduce."

"Well, my dear Holmes, I observe the awesome size of the universe, and the vast multitude of stars shining down on us. If we assume that even a small percentage have planets capable of supporting life, I deduce that somewhere out there, life must indeed exist."

"Watson you idiot, someone's stolen our tent!"

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LawsofPhysics's picture

If you can't physically touch or defend the asset, you don't own it.  Any questions?

GetZeeGold's picture



Yes.....is there an ETF for that?

Precious's picture

God did a lot of things, but making idiots he left to men like Carnegie.

bigdumbnugly's picture

this article seems to imply that God is kind of redundant at times.

Big Slick's picture

God, stop this man before he metphors again!!!

(and why is "Capital Preservation" in quotes?)

falak pema's picture

because its a chimera even when General Grant says "charge on the Eurobums", its like Beau Geste lost in a desert mirage. 

Metaphorical mixtures and catastrophical measures for capital preservation make an explosive crab n grab cocktail on the indian reservation. Where is Buffalo Bill to get us out of this film?

rbg81's picture

To use an Obi-Wan Kenobi-ism:  Who is more the idiot?  The idiot or the idiot who elects them to office?

falak pema's picture

and finally he made woman...that was for fun! 

Mark to market Grant should read his Solon and forget his distilled malt shaken against the rocks of City shenanigans.  

spentCartridge's picture

Weed came before women & weed is better then women.


Weed is for fun ...


... and so is life, poloticians/banks/criminals (same thing) fuck everything up for everyone else, so if you want a fun life, smoke weed & shitcan .Gov & etc ...



Jack Sheet's picture

The headline is Tyler Durden, and when you click on it you find Mr Grant. But the posts of Mr Grant are becoming most incredibly tedious. As novel as last week's unrefrigerated pastrami sandwich.


Zaydac's picture

If Grant's name appeared with the headline not many people would click, and the Tylers live or die by clicks, so there you have it.

Cognitive Dissonance's picture

"Watson you idiot, someone's stolen our tent!"

Is that the same as swimming naked when the tide goes out?

falak pema's picture

as long as you know how to say eureka it doesn't really matter, naked or drunk.

willwork4food's picture

As in the moments prior to a tsunami, the creek is dry. Kinda like all the banker scum suddenly retiring without a word from the overseerers.

I'm just hoping my FB comes back in time.


Jack Sheet's picture

I think one of the versions of the quote contained turds.

eigenvalue's picture

I don't think Romney will get elected although I'm a Republican. 

GetZeeGold's picture



The UN is sending observers to guarantee it doesn't happen.

Dr. Engali's picture

You are right. The election has been decided for us. The rest is just entertainment.


CBS News affiliate calls 2012 presidential race for Barack Obama weeks ahead of election

Read more: http://dailycaller.com/2012/10/21/cbs-news-affiliate-calls-2012-presidential-race-for-barack-obama-weeks-ahead-of-election/#ixzz2A22Xddv8

GetZeeGold's picture



I think CNN is announcing today.....but I'm holding off for the straight dope from MSNBC.

Carpathia's picture

Why will next, month or year be different? We at Zero Hedge, have been expecting the rubber to meet the road for over 3 years now. I have been amazed that Central Bank machinations have taken us this far. Maybe this new normal has more resilience than we imagine. Could continued ex nihlo money creation keep the ponzi going much longer than seems credible? Reinhart and Rogin describe serial defaults through inflation as the method of adaptation in large economies. This may take another decade to play out. Stranger things have happened.

Big Slick's picture

Carathia, I hear what you're saying.  Sometimes I feel like an idiot living in beachfront property with plywood over the windows spraypainted with "Bernie go away!" and the family in the cellar... all the while the world suntans on the beach from clear blue sky in front of my house.

Patience.  Gives you time to check and re-check headspace, stores, and the plan.

ak_khanna's picture

The politicians around the world are nothing more than auction items which can be sold to the highest bidder. They will do whatever they can for the lobbyist paying them the maximum amount of money or votes, be it the unions, the banksters, the richest corporations or individuals. They are in the power seat to extract maximum advantage for themselves in the small time frame they occupy the seat of power.

The rest of the population is least of their concerns. The only activity they do is pacify the majority of the population using false statistics and promises of a better future so that they do not lynch them and their masters while they are robbing the taxpayers.


dbTX's picture

God did make idiots, and a lot of them.

machineh's picture

Then he went on his 'making lawyers' jag ... enough already!

Winston Churchill's picture

The reject lawyers became realtors.

Zero Govt's picture

..and the realtors all look upon Barney Frank as God

Having pumped and primed US property and wrecked it he now wants to move onto the rental sector with his midas touch

wake me up when he's fucked that up too, i need to know what he's onto after and need to avoid

edifice's picture

Or "financial advisors," running around with Series 6 licenses. Frightening.

Frozen IcQb's picture

We're the idiots for voting them in and naive also.

shovelhead's picture

God is laughing at you.

"Don't blame me... I just made the first pair. After that, it's all on you.

These days, I'm working on Farmville."

Zero Govt's picture

"First, God Made Idiots. That Was Just For Practice. Then He Made Politicians"

Now that's funny

Only problem is these human scumbags meddling is anything but funny. 

icanhasbailout's picture

then after seeing how corrupt humans turned out to be, He punished us by creating lawyers

fabmax's picture

what about central bankers?

GubbermintWorker's picture

They have all of our tents!

blindman's picture

they are the idiots god first created. they like to think they were created in god's own image but
that is just their narcissistic projection on the
stage and runway. mother tried her best to keep
them on the right path and off the "pole" but the
seduction and temptation was just overwhelming.
oh fame, oh fame and money.
Here is Greg Smith's first public interview on US television.

blindman's picture

god made idiots , the work was done.
the idiots then were hired to be politicians
by other idiots who did not realize what
they had done.
Renaissance 2.0 - Financial Empire - Full Length - Damon Vrabel
Debunking Money - The Way the World Really Works - Full Length - Damon Vrabel

Radical Marijuana's picture


... the idiots then were hired to be politicians by other idiots who did not realize what they had done ...

Those who think that politicians are idiots, and that governments are incompetent, tend to not look deeper to understand WHY!

Society is controlled by lies. There are those who benefit from that, and they make sure that system stays the same. Politicians become professional liars, whose careers are based on spouting the immaculate hypocrisy of impossible ideals, while they ACTUALLY do what those who give them money tell them to do. Since 99% of the people tend to pay for NO political activities, while 1% pay for almost everything, that 1% ends up getting what they want done.  Politicians become experts at bridging the gap between enough of the voters, and the plutocracy. The plutocracy prevails. That is WHY our politicians look like idiots, and our governments appear incompetent.

Politicians that do not work for the plutocracy, and so, specialize in lying to the voters, get descredited or destroyed by the plutocracy. The plutocracy funds their opposition, or will even pay for assassins to kill those incorruptible and competent politicians, if that is necessary to keep the plutocracy going. The result is the APPEARANCE that politicians, and the governments they operate, are incompetent idiots.

The truth is always that the best organized gangs of criminals are controlling things in ways that benefit them, and that they effectively control the governments. The people have no practical way to stop that, since they are inside of the already established systems that drive lies to be backed by violence. Each short-term increment is built on accepting that situation, and making the best of it, while, overall, the entire system goes mad, and finally destroys itself.

Welcome to the psychotic breakdown of civilization! Everything gets "successfully" controlled by lies, until the magnitude of that gets so great, it collapses into crazy chaos. ... Where are we in that vicious cycle? ...  Unfortunately, it now looks like we are nearer the end, than nearer the beginning.