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Monster Collapses On Death Reports: Space Catapult Advertising Gimmick Coming?
The irony of Monster Beverage's absolute 'Baumgartnering' cannot be lost on many in the market as news of incident reports released by the FDA show five people 'may' have died in recent years after drinking the energy drink. While the NYTimes notes that these reports do not prove a link between Monster Energy and the deaths or health problems, it would appear by the 18% plunge in the stock price that investors are not second-guessing. The company states it is "unaware of any fatality anywhere that has been caused by its drinks" but we suspect, just as NYC is now under the cosh of 16oz coke limits, soon enough we will see Caffeine Caps and Taurine Tariffs subjected on our un-Darwinian selves. In the meantime, may we humbly suggest the makes of the sugary energy drink undertake the (potentially job-saving or creating) manufacture of a giant catapult in an effort to be the first rubber-band-powered manned satellite launch in order to draw attention to the more important capabilities of people who drink Monster.
MNST -18%...
Via NYTimes:
Five people may have died in recent years after drinking Monster Energy, a popular energy drink that is high in caffeine, according to incident reports recently released by the Food and Drug Administration.
... The records were recently obtained under the Freedom of Information Act by the mother of a 14-year-old Maryland girl who died in December from a heart arrhythmia after drinking large cans of Monster Energy on two consecutive days.
...
That spokeswoman, Judy Lin Sfetcu, added that Monster was “unaware of any fatality anywhere that has been caused by its drinks.”
In an interview, an F.D.A. spokeswoman, Shelly Burgess, said the agency had received reports of five deaths possibly linked to the drink as well as another report of a heart attack. The reports cover a period of 2004 to June of this year.
The reports do not make clear whether the incidents involved other factors, like alcohol or drugs.
...
Monster Beverage makes a variety of energy drinks with names like Monster Rehab, Monster Assault and Monster Heavy Metal. Labels on the containers state that they are “not recommended” for some consumers, including children — a group that beverage producers define as those under 12 years — and people “sensitive” to caffeine.
...
The type of 24-ounce can of Monster Energy that the Maryland teenager, Anais Fournier, drank contains 240 milligrams of caffeine, three times the amount found in an 8-ounce can of Red Bull and about 50 milligrams more than in the 20-ounce size of Red Bull.
The lawsuit filed last week on behalf of the teenager referred to autopsy and medical examiner reports that said she had died of “cardiac arrhythmia due to caffeine toxicity” that had exacerbated an existing heart problem.
A lawyer for her family, Kevin Goldberg, said that the 14-year-old had been aware she had an underlying condition but added that her doctors had not told her to restrict her physical activities or her caffeine use.
In an April letter citing the teenager’s death, Senator Richard J. Durbin, Democrat of Illinois, urged the F.D.A. to enforce caffeine levels in energy drinks.
In August, F.D.A. officials responded by saying that there was insufficient evidence to take action on caffeine levels in energy drinks. However, the agency also noted then that it had not yet received medical reports related to the Maryland teenager’s death.
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i wonder when will wall street have cardiac arrest from too much money printing.
Just tennis elbow from shovelling it in the furnace.
Clevon is lucky to be alive. He attempted to jump a jet ski from a lake into a swimming pool and impaled his crotch on an iron gate. But thanks to advances in stem cell research and the fine work of Doctors Krinsky and Altschuler, he should regain full reproductive function again."
Clevon: "Get your hands off my junk!"
And there's naught but a casual link between alcohol consumption, drunk driving and traffic fatalities.
MA
Monster Anonymous
(Jesus H Christ, what will the Media try to distract us with next?)
They know nothing!
This is bullish!
People flock to things that are dangerous; telling people that drinking Monster can kill you, will INCREASE sales!
Besides, if one person per year died from drinking this, how is that significant in a country where nearly 600,000 people die from each of heart disease and cancer, over 100,000 people die from accidents, and over 60,000 from diabetes?
using: http://www.cdc.gov/nchs/fastats/lcod.htm
You've got it Matt, people like to hurt themselves, this is a (Media verified) way to kill yourself if you aren't careful, fits in nicely with the smoking crowd or anyone else who seems to crave a lot of misery!
This will be bullish for the stock,
Hummm, that sounds kind of ass backwards. Shouldn't the meatball have been jumping from the pool into the lake? /sarc
Well shit, what is Honey Boo Boo supposed to drink after nap time?
I'm glad I don't know who the hell that is. Who would ever name oneself "Honey Boo Boo"?
It's right after dancing with the stars... Duh...
i'm sure diet doke is even better for ya. Drink up bitchezz.
They gotta make up some bullshit to justify "taking profits" in a stock that's completey overvalued and fueled by the cheap money stream that has just gotten axed.
I will admit to drinking them on ocassion while hitting the weights and just like a strong coffee it can give you a decent boost but then again if you are stupid enough to overdo it on this stuff, you deserve what you get.
And of course it's the caffeine drink's fault, not the coke and ecstasy the little ravers were doing at the same time
Diluting Monster Energy drink with vodka renders it harmless.
a splash of absinthe too if you want to be absolutely safe
Everclear (grain alcohol, 191 proof); it doesn't dilute the great flavor and effervescent nose of the Monster.
Another target for the lawyers. It won't be long before we see the class action advertisments on tv.
we are in full retard coming off the lows buying heavy at the close propoganda time. it makes me physically ill at this point.
It's maddening that's for sure. But on a more positive note the Steelers won.
I can't count the number of times I've been all messed up after a night of vodka redbulls, jagerbombs, etc.
I won't touch the stuff anymore.
Well McConkey died backflipping on skis in the Italian Alps when he couldn't get his ski binding off and spread his wingsuit to fly (before tossing a chute)...all for Red Bull glory. It's a dangerous world.
Well McConkey died backflipping on skis in the Italian Alps when he couldn't get his ski binding off and spread his wingsuit to fly (before tossing a chute)...all for Red Bull glory. It's a dangerous world.
Great buying op; death was already priced in.
mr mustard in the dinning room with a monster
chocolate prior to exercise > energy drink before web surfing.
Drinking marketing is drowning in marketing. Drugs, debt and domination.
I'm sorry - what's wrong with water or tea again? This is simply Darwinism at work - let it do its job.
Darwinism? So you've never brewed a big pot of coffee and had a few cups? This is neither Darwinism nor a cause to ban caffeine. It's just unfortunate rare tragic accidents.
Only anonymously on the internet do people claim joy over the accidental death of a 14yo girl.
Damn, that big slingshot + snowballs was the secret weapon for Canada's defensive system against a possible U.S. invasion.
Who leaked the plans?
Jesus, I'm never sprinkling this poison on my crack rocks again.
Can't be too careful nowadays.
1. Put a large short on Monster.
2. Call my friends in the media.
3. Put out nasty story.
4. Stock price craters.
5. Profit.
lol, changing their name and ticker didnt work after all i guess. bwahahaha.
Works great if you are about to put your life on the line and happen to be a bit sleepy at the same time. Instant boost for the extreme sport junkie. To bad about the monster P/E. They are flush with cash but it is not enough to impact the P/E ratio.
Shit, I used to have coffee so strong that if your spoon dried in the cup, you could turn it over and it would not fall out. 2 regular sized cups each with 2 tablespoons of instant in them. I cut that back these days to only one cup of 1 tablespoon but these guys are pansies. So now I cannot buy ephedrine because some other asshole can't handle it and died and these do goodie assholes are going to try and restrict this stuff too. Hey get a life. Everyone before you has died, you will too.
imagine a future where people consume these energy drinks all day, eat hamburgers and other shit, sit on the couch and watch tv when we are not at our shitty jobs that pay little. image that most of us have adhd of a depression of some sort, but most of us are on great pills to keep us happy and quiet.
imagine a future like that. that would be terrible.
Good riddance! The Monster logo is comprised of three stylized Hebrew characters, "vav" which means "6" in gematria.
So, the Monster drinks are really marked "666" - the stupid goys pay for drinking this crap!
So evidently the yids aren't involved in making, distributing or consuming Monster. How smart. Might I suggest this super-intelligent group begin identifying itself by some external symbol. I've got it - yellow arm bands!
They drank a 1/2 gallon of Monster with a liter of grain alcohol, some Ecstasy, and a couple lines of cocaine; yup, it's that damn Monster and Caffeine.
240 mg, plus an ass-load of fructose? Might as well be shooting speedballs. Especially if you know you have an 'underlying condition' (besides stupidity, apparently). Take it away, Bill Hicks: "We lost a moron? Fucking celebrate. There's one less moron in the world."
Have you ever had a Starbucks Grande coffee? Can contain twice as much caffeine, fool.
http://www.energyfiend.com/caffeine-content/starbucks-grande-coffee
She knew of an underlying condition, but had not been warned of caffeine intake. You are right in that there is idiocy in this thread, you just have misidentified the source.
6 shots of espresso at Starbucks every morning... I'm still here!!! oh, my chest!
How much does it cost to get the FDA to release one of these reports?
Is ME as good as Brawndo? Its got electrolytes and stuff.
Monster has been around forever. This is clearly a hit piece. Someone is profiting somewhere.
Hmmm apparently suspicious minds think alike
Its telling how the article relates the caffeine content of Monster to that of another energy drink, Red Bull. A much more natural comparison would be to coffee of course. Say a Starbucks Grande? LOL, I'm assuming bans on caffeine content will exclude the largest source of caffeine, namely fucking coffee?
Probably a hit piece, BUY
Wheres info on the catapult? Thats the only interesting aspect of this story.
I'll bet Red Bull is shitting bricks, after all that "Space Jump" PR.
I drink 3 to 4 16oz cans of Monster every day with no noticable HEY LOOK, A BIRD!
Maybe they should embrace more stringent labeling.
This shit can kill you!
Hordes will line up to buy.
Timely piece in Barron's this weekend... oh well.. oh wait, it was a long ...
If Monster is outlawed, then only outlaws will drink Monster.
Long caffeine! Forward taurine!
Can you imagine what we'd learn if death certificates listed the behaviors
behavior: smoke for 40 years Death Certificate: Lung Cancer
behavior: OD on Caff + Death Certificate: Heart Arrhythmia
behavior: Prescription Meds 30 yrs Death Certificate: Renal Failure
behavior: 6 pack diet coke per day Death Certificate: Brain Aneurysm
Here in Japan, both Red Bull and Monster are hollowed out shells of their real selves. See, in Japan, only Japanese pharmaceutical companies are allowed to sell anything containing taurine.
How's that for a buzz-kill?