Apple Introduces A Slightly Bigger Samsung S III (And Faster, "Excel-Optimized" New New iPad 4)

Tyler Durden's picture

Below is a picture of the product that Steve Jobs never wanted launched, and which Apple has been forced to release due to competitors which are suddenly beating it in its own game. And the price: $329. The Nexus starting price is $199 which is also Kindle Fire territory. Anyway, the 8 inch iPad is here (which upon measurement actually turns out to be 5"... particularly the white version). So when is the iPad 36C coming? Finally: will there be an iDiscount for those with over $100,000 in student debt?


Oh, and Apple also launched a New iPad. Or wait, is that iPad 4? Confusing. Whatever it is it has a faster CPU for all those excel spreadsheets you will be doing on it all day long.

One word summary: cannibalization... and maybe another: GoogleMaps? 


AAPL Stock -2.5% - below Friday's closing VWAP...

Source: AllthingsD

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transaccountin's picture

good for +20 es baby

malikai's picture

Um, I didn't see an extra row of icons in that one.

Trouble in paradise.

redpill's picture

But they are going to move the headphone jack to the BOTTOM.  Pshshhhh!!!


Brilliant marketing by Samsung.


One day soon we'll all wake up and Apple won't be cool anymore.  Then it'll be a total stock shitshow.

The Master's picture

You hear that guys?  That's the sound of the music stopping.  Good luck finding a seat.

Manthong's picture

They might want to rethink who the disruptors really are.

$81.00 straight from Shanghai.

malikai's picture

Reminds me of the Hi-Phone.

Good luck to Apple trying to sue these guys. I'm sure it would work out fantastically.

The suits against Samsung et al were about control of the western market. Once again confirming that Apple is stuck on the old model.

onebir's picture

This was *the* reason for Android - turn Apple's grain basket into scorched earth by commoditising the smartphone & tablet markets.  There'll be quad-core Arm SOCs in $100 smartphones and tablets, within a year (dual core ones are currently a bit more). Android 4 on a single core Cortex A8 tablet isn't laggy even with 1280x780 screen (not 'retina' but higher pixel density than most laptops...)

It's uneven hardware quality & firmware integration that lets these Chinese 'clone' manufacturers down. Eventually a few will develop brand images in the west (like Asus & HTC have).

Stackers's picture

still waiting on the i-bidet

Siri ? Did you get all my dingleberries ?

ParkAveFlasher's picture

Spreadsheets ... lol

does a keyboard come with this model?

Skateboarder's picture

No, but it ships with a genius to assist you with Excel macros.

redpill's picture

I could fix the world with Excel, as long as I have my vintage February 1982 IBM Model M keyboard and not some nancypants touchscreen bullshit.


TheFourthStooge-ing's picture

redpill said:

I could fix the world with Excel, as long as I have my vintage February 1982 IBM Model M keyboard and not some nancypants touchscreen bullshit.

Here you go, then:

James_Cole's picture

Every Apple release it's the same story on here - AAPL sucks, people that buy their products / stock are morons etc. 

I don't get it, if you like gadgets AAPL makes good ones. I've tried the others and haven't found solid replacements for my macbooks, ipads iphones, so stick with what works? I don't like the iPhone 5 that much so am looking elsewhere but the iPad mini looks good to me. 

Don't like their products don't buy them, whats the big deal? People on here whine so much about AAPL you'd think Steve Jobs personally f---d their wives. 

redpill's picture

Who's whining?  ZH readers just enjoy watching a bubble inflate when they know it will eventually pop.  Consider it financial rubbernecking.

I am a Man I am Forty's picture

Apple is not in a bubble.  If it is, your definition of a bubble is a stock that trades at an average PE ratio, which would mean that just about every single stock in the S&P is or has been in a bubble.

redpill's picture

Apple is a bubble today not because of the current P/E ratio, Apple is a bubble today because their success has been based on two inherently unsustainable trends: an image of being a small quirky computer company that is trendy, youth-oriented, and lib-friendly (an image which is rapidly tarnishing as their product development transitions from revolutionary to evolutionary, as their target demographic expands to attempt to capture older consumers, as as their trendy consumer base increasingly reads about the horrors of working Apple sweatshops in China), and the maintaining of market share in the phone and tablet space (which is impossible with the growing competition in both of these areas).  Combine that with a macro-economic debt bubble that will inevitably impact peoples' ability to borrow&spend hundreds of dollars on electronic trinkets, and you have a set up for a massive future decline in revenue, earnings, and stock price.  If you don't want to call that a bubble, fine, you can call it whatever you like.

Spastica Rex's picture

Additionally, Apple products are not a very good value and are miserable for lock-in.

I was an avid Apple user from about 1993-2008. I got pissed in '08 when I tried to move my music library off of iTunes onto a Linux box. It was a bitch, but their DRM lost and I've never looked back. My kids have even ditched their iPods for Sansa Clips - no cachet there, let me tell ya.

eatthebanksters's picture

Apple's brand (and value) is all about it's products are about creating a better UX (user experience)...the iphone was absolutely innovative and the ipad was close.  People will pay for quality, but it has to be demonstrable and unique. Now they are just producing new versions of old ideas and competitors are catching them and in some cases out appling Apple. Apple needs some new breakthrough stuff to keep its market share and continue growing over the long haul.  Otherwise it could go the way of GM.

Reformed Sheep's picture

Apple vision died with Jobs. They were circling the drain until he came back to them, he somehow innovated for a while, now he died and they are directionless.

Also iTunes sucks balls.


fuu's picture

The SANSA Clip and Clip+ were great products. About a year ago I picked up 4 on a woot of the day for $10 each. I will never need a new mp3 player in this lifetime.

The Alarmist's picture

Yeah, I have a Sansa Clip that cost me $50 in 2009 still going strong.  I realised I have spent about $100 every other year since 1980 for a WalkMan or its modern equivalent, but that all seems to have stopped in 2009.  That plus at least $50k in annual spending on discretionary shit I no longer need signals where a consumption-based economy might be headed.

Investment tip for the next 10 years: 3 g's ... guns, gold, and ground.

Skateboarder's picture

We're all PhDs in financial rubbernecking. I got mine from ITT Tech, and now I have a brighter future.

malikai's picture

ITT Tech? Good school. I saw a commercial for it once, but I was drunk.

I got my degree in Womens Criminal Social Care Studies from University of Phoenix online.

I just wanted to make a difference. Now I can.

TruthInSunshine's picture

The gold standards evidencing an education debt bubble that is sowing the seeds of pain, financial and otherwise (there are other examples, but thess really connect the viewer to the fact that the sheeple have been hooked, lined & will be sinked); if these are epicly good at demonstrating the point, the commercials from state universities and the other "respected" institutions aren't much better, even they're slightly less cheesy:


The Alarmist's picture

You should've majored in Criminal Justice ... seems to be one of the last growth industries in the Gulag Casino economy.

TWSceptic's picture

Of course that's true, but a lot of people here think that to be a good ZH'er you must hate Apple. Somehow they made that connection. I have no idea why. I like their products even at their premium price and I like them more than the competition. If you don't, that's fine by me. But the arguments against Apple and the arguments for a bubble are as unfounded as the ones against gold.

Almost Solvent's picture

Wait what? 

"The arguments for a bubble are as unfounded as the ones against gold."

So, what you're trying to say is that Apple = Gold?

Maybe GLD but not physical.

If you think Apple = Gold, you are infuckingsane.

(I realize his point is much finer, that those who argue Apple is a bubble are as unfounded as those who argue Gold is a bubble, but I wish to distill his argument into something simple. Gold will be around long after Apple ceases to exist and all their shitball products rot into the Earth)

The Alarmist's picture

"--- to be a good ZH'er you must hate Apple."

Apple has consistently given me good OOBE over the past decade, which has never been the case with a LIM- or successor-architecture machine for at least the last 30 years ... for that reason alone I find it hard to hate Apple despite its straight-jacket architecture.

Then again, Jobs was still alive when I bought my last iToy, so who knows whether or not they are resting on their laurels.

Chuck Walla's picture

People on here whine so much about AAPL you'd think Steve Jobs personally f---d their wives. 

What did you hear about my wife?!?!?  She's always had new APPL stuff until, hey, wait, WTF? That was Jobs doing her?

vortmax's picture

I thought the especially brilliant part is running it during most of the prime time NFL games I've seen this season...tons of lower-middle class, hipster-hating eyes are seeing it.

Tijuana Donkey Show's picture

How about the Cardinals playing in the "University of Phoenix" stadium? A pro team in a university sponsored stadium, I love it. The student debt is just iike a phoenix too, you burn everything to the ground, and it reforms from the ashes to follow you to the grave. 

Incubus's picture

easy to fake your death and pick up and go and become someone totally new.

Identity is a relative thing, anyway.  It's not like you are who you are by some great universal law.  You are who you are because you happened to be born in a particular place, at a particular time. No need to stay tethered to some social construction of an identity.  Go on, disappear,  Change, grow; don't let the world limit you. 


Just don't be stupid and contact people from your former life.  There's 7,000,000,000 people out there. I'm sure you're bound to find some really neat individuals out there to take your mind off of the familiarities of your past social construction of an identity.


The sad thing is that many view debt as a the result of a financial agreement;  debt is a tool of control.  Many have already given up their lives because of it.  Next logical progression in the "debt" construction as a means of control is to manufacture a war. 


If these people realized how seriously fucked the concept of debt is, and how it fuels pie-in-the-sky delusions of a credit-whoring-populace, they'd hang the money-changers already.  And this is a life-or-death game.  Either you get rid of the money-changers, or you and your loved ones will suffer and die.

The only issue is IF or WHEN will the proles wake up?

I don't think they will.  Death is given to them by their handlers.  For the lack of will and knowledge, the fools forfeit their lives.

I Am Not a Copper Top's picture

Buckle your seatbelts - I smell a ramp job

The trend is your friend's picture

have to get to the apple store and wait in line rain or shine

insanelysane's picture

too late! I am already in line; sucker.


StormShadow's picture

I paid two professional line waiters to beat you both, so nanny nanny Honey Boo Boo. Redneckognize bitch!

Stoploss's picture

No thanks i will keep my Galaxy Note.

And everything that goes with it.

iJoke is a rip off, Galaxy is where it's at.

Grill Boss's picture

Good for millions in un-insurable liabilities and billions (trillions) in lawsuits:

(note that courts in europe are now confirming what your military kept from you see above link)

who covers makers and telecoms for this NO ONE, because they know what is in the link above.... and people pay to do this to themselves.... health care stocks are the ticket then!

I am a Man I am Forty's picture

Accusing Apple of copying Samsung, funny.

Zero Govt's picture

Yes, hilarious

Journalists don't do research or check facts or have timelines nowadays, they just get called up on 'crimelines' and print what they're told by the handlers ...MSN is a clearing house of spin and propaganda (garbage)

tecno242's picture

so.. what you're saying is that Ford should be the only company allowed to sell cars, because they invented them.

or Atari should be the only ones allowed to make a video game console.

cause everyone else is just a stupid copy cat loser guy.

Quintus's picture

Ford invented cars???

Does the name Karl Benz mean anything to you?

gjp's picture

And Apple didn't invent most of the shit that goes into smart phones.  First to market, yes, but smart phones are a combination of all sorts of technologies, most of which Apple buys from others.

tecno242's picture

sorry i appologize... didn't mean to offend you and your german lover. 

LongSoupLine's picture

Karl Benz?!?

WTF!...I was told Al Gore!