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230 Hedge Funds Suddenly Cried Out In Terror And Were Suddenly Silenced
A week after the second most populous hedge fund hotel, Google, blew up, it is now time for good ole' Hotel Caaplefornia itself. The HF holders table below is presented without comment (as we have said all there is to say many times). Remember: orderly, cool, calm, collected single file procession through the tight exit: and nobody panic!
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They are going to make like Ahnold in Predator and Get to the Choppa!!!
I'm sure its all priced in lol!
Player 2 Wins.
Brutality
Oops. Sorry Lemmings! Margin call gentlemen.
http://www.hark.com/clips/gvkmhgbgcf-turn-those-machines-back-on
GET TO THE STRIKE PRICE!!
And there are people still prepared to pay 2/20 for this brilliant strategy??
230 enter...none will leave.
Hotel California with pink champagne on ice. They stab it with their steely knives but just can't kill the beast.
Why the beast and stabbing?What does it hint at?
Heroin abuse.
McCoy: "What is it Spock? Are you in pain?"
Spock: "They're dead, they're all dead..."
Well done. It is clear that Tyler and others know their "Star Trek."
Watch out for that amoeba.
Oh, craap(le)
"Apple shareholders -- dey ver skint alive !"
"At least now young gang members won't get their hands on these terrible instruments of death."
Um...right.
yes, but what's important is that the sheeple believe it to be true...
Not even that. They only need believe it plausible (which has supplanted the standard of truth).
Because, you see, what if it IS true??? OMG!!!
Join the government military and get their hands on some really neat stuff. Then go overseas and kill people.
NQ 1.6% down! violence ahead!
Someone get me Hank Paulson!
There's going to be riots, tanks in the streets, martial law, mutant communicable diseases, giant flaming asteroids & Godzilla-Mothra, bitchez!!
MORE TARPQEEEEEETALFEBTRECOVERYACTPRIMETHEPUMPSTIMULUSSSSSBITCHEZZZ!!!!!!
Buy Crapple fanboys BUY!!!
MUST STAY ABOVE 600!!!!
It's going under, options are blowing up all over that piece of shit.
Giant flaming Godzilla Hemorrhoids!
iBonds! stat!
Give an iSomething to the poor and downtrodden!
Buy iBonds today!
0.01% Yield!
Your killing me!
I sharted I was laughin' so hard!
iDeer, bitchez.
Look at that prozac headline on Marketwatch.
"Apple earnings jump 24%".
Or the CNBC sheeple herder headline.
"Apple revenue meets forecasts, shares rise"
Somehow I think that sheeple buying will not be enough to offset all the hedge funds selling.
Unhalt the shares quick. Those 230 HFs want to get out! lol.
Don't worry. The already filled your pension funds order.
Be careful ,that door is an empty elevator shaft.
Welcome to the Hotel Cupertino.
Last thing I remember, leveraged hedge funds & calPERS
Running for the door
I had to find the passage back
To where reality, not cyber-farms, were before
"Relax, " said The Bernank,
"We are programmed to deceive.
You'll think you can check-out any time you like,
But so long as I have my CTRL+P, you bitchez can never leave! "
FRIEND: so have you decided what you are going to do about the websites?
ZUCK: yea i’m going to fuck them
ZUCK: probably in the year
ZUCK: yea so if you ever need info about anyone at harvard
ZUCK: just ask
ZUCK: i have over 4000 emails, pictures, addresses, sns
FRIEND: what!? how’d you manage that one?
ZUCK: people just submitted it
ZUCK: i don’t know why
ZUCK: they “trust me”
ZUCK: dumb fucks
Buy the DIP!!!!!!!!!!!
The only dip I'll buy is the spicy salsa.
Where is Reggie?
Apple can now only increase sales and profits by their obedient slave fanboys selling their 6 month 'old' ipads in order to be able to afford new smaller ipads.
" all I know is the Dow is still above 13,000..."
Dennis Kneale, Fox Business News
Looks to be a rough night ahead for Mr. Kneale.
and the dow was down all day then jumped up positive n the last 30 minutes....
i was watching Fox when that asshole made that statment about a month ago...
wanted to reach thru the tv and bitch slap that stupid ass grin off his face....
BUY MORE STOCKS MUPPETS!!!!
Fucked
Not so fast there chief. Da Boyz ramped AMZN from -$18 to -$1 AH. crAPPL should be even easier.
It took 9 minutes for them to get it positive AH. These criminals are persistent and won't be denied, bitchez.
We'll see... If this thing is higher next week then I might aswell start believing in unicorns and magical pixies.
Apple at 595 I'll bet the robots ramp it above 600 before the market opens.
AAPL earnings --------> iFucked.
iPlunge
Must be the latest app?
you bought the dip a few weeks back.
are you not at least a little tempted now?
What's with all this "trading halted" crap?
If it was a market trading would never be halted barring a bomb in the building.
well, duh! everyone knows they have to get on the bat phone and call up the bernank to give a little warning....it takes time to warm up the presses.
LOL AAPLE IS DETERMINED TBTF AND SO ALGOS BTFD LOL
I love my 1/31/2014 $350 Puts.
It is my first experience on the shortside...and I like it!
Not so fast, grasshopper...$607 and rising!!!
I would prefer shorting the OTM calls following the algo ramp job.
Moreover, the IV would also be juicier thus better premium.
Alll things come to an end. Including APPL stupidly high stock price. Now, if the banks or pension funds scream to the FED to save them, well that's another story.
By all means; it's not as if the amount of phones/slightly bigger phones sold globally is finite, or something.
Just fucking merge it with Lockheed already and start making iDrones; we know all know it's coming.
Covered at $595.20. Want to stay away from the SHORT whacker algo.
AAPL "off the lows"... algos defending $600 Maginot Line.
TOTAL RISK ON BUY EVERYTHING
iApologists on CNBC talking about the "cost" of developing the mini-iPad and iPhone 5.
Dudes, this is the most cash flush company on the planet - that is not an excuse for an earnings miss.
Awesome post.
Now that's one BAD Apple!
The AH ramp job is already underway...$603 and rising...Will open GREEN tomorrow...LOL!!
And.....almost green.
Damn, AAPL has been Core-zined. Wait till the pips squeek, just before vaporization.
Crossed 200 DMA to the downside, it can't be!
The Titanic is unsinkable!
Is it GREEN yet? Lol. Potter working overtime tonight.
iRigged
green!
amzn, green cancel choppa.
iScream
GOING GREEN LOL MARKETS GOING UPP TOMO LOL
ALL green nothing to seee here - move it along.
"Better than the whisper numbers.."
LOL...You cannot make this stuff up...
is going to burst the iBubble...???? analist are expecting impossible... remember.. real economy never will grow to infinity and beyond permanently..........
And the futures are showing that news, data, analysis, etc. are all irrelevant in an era of Fed monetary mayhem!
You can't kill this bull with numbers or Arnold clips. It is all about the money.
BUY ALL DIPS, BITCHES!! THE BERNANK PUT IS AS GOOD AS GOLD!!!!!
The Methedone Market. Until the IV stops trickling
Had to halt to reprogram buy programs. Sergey Aleynikov or Mr Zhang doing Penance
http://dealbook.nytimes.com/2012/08/09/ex-goldman-programmer-is-arrested...
http://www.cbsnews.com/8301-205_162-57361556/programmer-arrested-for-ste...
Bit like Tisch coming on CNBC to say corporates and financials have fixed their balance sheets and consumers likewise. But it is the government that hasn't. The very essence of self delusion
AAPL will be a nice fresh shade of green tomorrow
Help us Steve o Wancaniphone, your our only hope.
microsoft is third? that's another bloodbath just waiting to happen, at least until balmer is fired.
MSFT is the only one on the list that makes any sense.
When the derivative chains break they will be loud.
All I can say is...Apple will prove Newton's Law tomorrow....
Steve Jobs is rolling over in his grave right now....
I'd bet Reggie Middleton is Tweeting about this on his Samsung Galaxy III.
As Einhorn pointed out:
AAPL has a higher weighting in the S&P500, so hedge funds are actually underweight AAPL.
The Zerohedge title just looks more sensational.
Consolidation.
Dead consumer walking.
if you cant lie, deny.
Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice. Something tells me AAPL will only get one shot.
well assuming the same 173 fund managers from Q1 11 still hold Apple I bet they're still quite satisfied with a 70% return in that time period. what has gold done since?
crickets.
the 5 and 10 year comparisons are exponentially more lopsided.
Are we talking about the re-re-re hypothicated shares the fund managers own? btw...money mangers are idiots holding that 3% position didnt do much for them overall as their fund underperformed their benchmark and missed out on the fiat bonus....that goes for about the 85% plus of the overpaid schmucks...I mean portfolio managers
what does rehypothecation have to do with this? or are you just repeating ZH buzz words?
I hope they lose every fucking dime.
Predator!!!
Gotta wtach that Friday night + Predators. Great movies.
market is being flushed out.
230 simutaneous get me outs...as in Get Me Out of this stock now! Hehehehehe....
What makes me laugh is the liquidity number at the end of the table.
2 days to liquidate based on CURRENT average volume - what this comforting figure forgets is that if there is a reason to sell - the liquidity will instantly dry up - The volumne would be less than 1 tenth of current volumne - meaning instead of 2 days - it would be 20 days to liquidate.
This is why people in business gt it so wrong - they produce a 'number' - then they stake their wealth on this number - regardless of it's relevance.
As with everything - the first person to leave is often the ONLY person to leave...