Kevin Henry Gets The Bronze

Tyler Durden's picture

Kevin Henry, of FRBNY cross-market monitor fame, may or may not have been instrumental in getting the Dow Jones to close (just barely) green (Chuck Schumer don't care about the S&P; the Dow Jones is the only index politicians have heard of), but his intraday presence on these pages should be sufficient to inspire substantial female interest in his daily exploits while barhopping this evening. Because it is not everyday that a senior Fed trader from Rutgers gets to be the 3rd "Most Viewed Person" of Bloomberg users today.

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slaughterer's picture

Tyler, you are going overboard, man.  Give Kev' a break!  He saved the world from catastrophe!

malikai's picture

It's hard work keeping up appearences and all.

Stoploss's picture

I think the FED is a mo factory..

Stoploss's picture

Yep, i see a Wang, a Wong and a Ho in the list.

The Wizard of Oz's picture


The Wizard of Oz's picture


Thecomingcollapse's picture

Kevin here, Thanks for the understanding!! Ben said we have to keep status quo through the elections

With everything on my shoulders today with everyone gone... Well... I'm exhausted, but by God I kept 'er green!

GolfHatesMe's picture

Coincidence Kevin from Home Alone

Yen Cross's picture

I think Kevin and all his Fed. Reserve "COHORTS", should be "BRONZED".

asteroids's picture

What, no Fuck you Ben? Please, someone?

a growing concern's picture

I got you covered.

Fuck you, Bernanke, you traitorous, cocksucking mother fucker!

infinity8's picture

traitorous being the operative word there. . .

Roandavid's picture

I think traitorous is unfair in this instance and would apply only were he to turn on his employers, the banks.  With regards to fucking over the American people, that's his job.

The cocksucking mother fucker part I'm fine with.

Jlmadyson's picture

Someone needs to explain all the fuss. Clearly missed something today.

a growing concern's picture

Go back and read the older article about ole Kevin from around lunchtime today. They left him all alone to keep the Ponzi afloat on a Friday afternoon.

larz's picture

I like the lad myself - he played bigger fool for me today

slaughterer's picture

Kev' kept the market pumped while the others were out to play.  You deserve a BJ Kev': back room of Trixie's Doll House on Madison and 73rd.  Tell em' Slaughterer sent ya.  

ersatzteil's picture

I'm guessing his avatar is Trixie from Trixie's Doll House. And Kevin, hit up Hong Kong in Tijuana if you want more "bang" for your buck.

fuu's picture

David Einhorn still at work, setting the example.

The Gooch's picture

"Kale Swimmo"
The lone yute.

ebworthen's picture

Lifted AAPL over 200 DMA and DOW just into the green, a true Atlas of monetary debt fungibility superheroes defending the bankers of Metropolis while the citizens suffer under the yoke of the kleptoligarchy.

LooseLee's picture

...and who will surely die a miserable death for the fraud and corruption they have perpetrated on humankind...including that POS Kevin Henry

Yen Cross's picture

Perhaps Kevin should "tweet" Alex Hope, who is another Z/H 15 minutes of fame-ster. They can pound> £125k magnums of champagne together, whilst debating that GDP print this morning. Or, Alex can tell Kevin how the Feds. F/X prop desk should be run.

 Alex Hopes claim to fame.

WhiteChrist's picture

Lord, may Kevin Henry be given Nobel's meed, and may his barhopping yield him hot wenches and riches many, for he hath truly done thy work by helping the Dow into the green this day.

Whoa Dammit's picture

Sad that the market's levitation is now entirely dependent upon no one yelling "Hey Kevin! Your Mommie's calling you!"

ziggy59's picture

Wonder if a gerbil comes with the job..

ziggy59's picture

With Just-us and free markets for al...some

seek's picture

Pardon the temporary sexism, but whenever I see non-CEO/CFO/VP/director level women on the top list, I'm always curious as to why, and almost never disappointed when I google.

Case in point, #8 on this list was boxing last night:


ersatzteil's picture

Blythe Masters didn't make it to the weigh-in?

lizzy36's picture

Closest an MBA from Rutgers ever going to come to getting laid on pedigree.

Mr Lennon Hendrix's picture

And where did you major in business and economics Lizzy?  McGill?

Andy's picture

And why did you disappear from the semi-secret society on the IRC server with Briwerk & Co.?

Mr Lennon Hendrix's picture

The top person is Wang....

And number six is Ada Ho....

Really tells you something about banker culture, eh Lizzy?

centerline's picture

Brings back memories of Bang Da Ho.  lol

Lost Wages's picture

Dude, it probably wasn't Kevin. Just some bottomfeeders trying to guess at a bottom. Kevin was busy looking at porn and eating a burger while everyone else was out of the office.

Darkness's picture

I bet they are all on vacation to farmville...

Downtoolong's picture

They all went to one of those support group retreats where everyone got a green T-Shirt with a QE logo, buttons with Lloyd Blankfein and Jamie Dimon on them for flair, a grossly oversided hat that they can grow into, and a pair of special glasses that makes everything look like 2005 again.


q99x2's picture

He doesn't look like he believes in Christ.

Gamma735's picture

He worships at the altar of the Central Bank.

Gamma735's picture


Dogs (Waters, Gilmour) 17:06

You gotta be crazy, you gotta have a real need.
You gotta sleep on your toes, and when you're on the street,
You gotta be able to pick out the easy meat with your eyes closed.
And then moving in silently, down wind and out of sight,
You gotta strike when the moment is right without thinking.

And after a while, you can work on points for style.
Like the club tie, and the firm handshake,
A certain look in the eye and an easy smile.
You have to be trusted by the people that you lie to,
So that when they turn their backs on you,
You'll get the chance to put the knife in.

You gotta keep one eye looking over your shoulder.
You know it's going to get harder, and harder, and harder as you
get older.
And in the end you'll pack up and fly down south,
Hide your head in the sand,
Just another sad old man,
All alone and dying of cancer.

And when you loose control, you'll reap the harvest you have sown.
And as the fear grows, the bad blood slows and turns to stone.
And it's too late to lose the weight you used to need to throw
So have a good drown, as you go down, all alone,
Dragged down by the stone.

I gotta admit that I'm a little bit confused.
Sometimes it seems to me as if I'm just being used.
Gotta stay awake, gotta try and shake off this creeping malaise.
If I don't stand my own ground, how can I find my way out of this

Deaf, dumb, and blind, you just keep on pretending
That everyone's expendable and no-one has a real friend.
And it seems to you the thing to do would be to isolate the winner
And everything's done under the sun,
And you believe at heart, everyone's a killer.

Who was born in a house full of pain.
Who was trained not to spit in the fan.
Who was told what to do by the man.
Who was broken by trained personnel.
Who was fitted with collar and chain.
Who was given a pat on the back.
Who was breaking away from the pack.
Who was only a stranger at home.
Who was ground down in the end.
Who was found dead on the phone.

Itch's picture

He looks like a 12 year old... what is it with the US and child labour, washington is full of kids and now the fed, fucking sick bastards.

amadeusb4's picture

This and the "AAPL Reality Sinks In Sub-$600 As Option-Overlays Lifted" post are helping to develop ZH headlines into contrarian indicators. If you bought AAPL minutes after reading that article, you could have filled your buy order at 594. A simple RSI read only hours later would have allowed you to exit around 608.

Tyler is going out of his way, performing impressive mental gymnastics to trash a favorite Krugman stock for quite obvious personal reasons.

By the way, thanks for the lunch money on the TZA trade, Tyler.