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Friday Humor: Why The Market Is Down, Or "A Hard Day At The Fed"

Tyler Durden's picture




 

It's AAPL? It's GDP? It's Europe? It's the fiscal cliff? The real answer to why the market/AAPL is down today is clearly laid out in the table below. A stunning 30 of the 40 Fed employees on Bloomberg (that's 75% for the Keynesians) is red - or out of the office today. The PPT is OOTO! Good to know all that taxpayer money covering these terminals is going to good use! Also keep an eye on Kevin Henry's dot turning yellow from green and vice versa. The NY Fed trader's presence, or absence, at his desk may be the only risk on/risk off signal left in today's market.

 

(h/t @Not_Jim_Cramer)

 

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Fri, 10/26/2012 - 12:20 | 2921862 Piranhanoia
Piranhanoia's picture

Terminal

Fri, 10/26/2012 - 12:34 | 2921901 Fleecer
Fleecer's picture

PPT doesn't clock-in until 3pm EST. 

Never fear. 

 

Fri, 10/26/2012 - 12:37 | 2921907 Stoploss
Stoploss's picture

No auctions today, so, no need to come in.

After all, there is no other source of liquidity is there..

Fri, 10/26/2012 - 12:48 | 2921925 walküre
walküre's picture

Insiders have been selling all month and last month. They needed the pump or would have had  little to nobody to sell their paper to. Could be they liquidate before taxes change on capital gains or could be that they know this was their last HOOPLA.

Windows 8 looks awesome but won't save the day.

Fri, 10/26/2012 - 14:49 | 2922345 negative rates
negative rates's picture

It's been a hard day's night. And the Feds been workin like a dog. We should be sleeping like a log, but when I get home to you, the things that you owe, keep it a hard days night. 

Fri, 10/26/2012 - 15:46 | 2922490 Fleecer
Fleecer's picture

Tyler, curious... what's rollcall count now... As we're ramping into close?

Fri, 10/26/2012 - 12:39 | 2921912 Unprepared
Unprepared's picture

"Friday Humor"

 

We mustn't have the same sense of humour.

Fri, 10/26/2012 - 12:47 | 2921924 aint no fortuna...
aint no fortunate son's picture

job interviews at JPM?

Fri, 10/26/2012 - 12:51 | 2921934 machineh
machineh's picture

No, it's the regular Friday circle jerk.

Fri, 10/26/2012 - 13:47 | 2922156 kaiserhoff
kaiserhoff's picture

As the old ladies say, A hard man is good to find.

Fri, 10/26/2012 - 12:48 | 2921927 Dalago
Dalago's picture

We got our eye on you, ya bastids!

Fri, 10/26/2012 - 12:50 | 2921929 insanelysane
insanelysane's picture

Will be all hands on deck if Dow gets to 13000.01

Fri, 10/26/2012 - 12:36 | 2921906 a growing concern
a growing concern's picture

So if you can see other people with Bloomberg terminals, couldn't you figure out who TD is? Overly simplistic, I'm sure. Maybe he's registered as TD?

Fri, 10/26/2012 - 12:41 | 2921913 Unprepared
Unprepared's picture

TD's use hundreds of mirror users on BB.

Fri, 10/26/2012 - 12:43 | 2921915 francis_sawyer
francis_sawyer's picture

Objects in the mirror are closer than they appear...

Fri, 10/26/2012 - 12:56 | 2921947 oddjob
oddjob's picture

my favourite far side ever.

Fri, 10/26/2012 - 14:12 | 2922159 kaiserhoff
kaiserhoff's picture

So fix the damn mirror...;)

Fri, 10/26/2012 - 12:44 | 2921920 a growing concern
a growing concern's picture

Kewl.

Fri, 10/26/2012 - 13:11 | 2922012 I only kill chi...
I only kill chickens and wheat's picture

Obviously he's the Jester, John. Why does the fed have a court Jester anyway.

Fri, 10/26/2012 - 12:46 | 2921917 Vincent Vega
Vincent Vega's picture

Nope. I've tried it. Perhaps someone smarter than I could figure it out.

Fri, 10/26/2012 - 13:05 | 2921990 drivenZ
drivenZ's picture

maybe he's under Dan Ivandjiiski.

Fri, 10/26/2012 - 12:42 | 2921914 vast-dom
vast-dom's picture

best thing is for all of them to go RED PERMANENTLY or better yet just get delisted forever. then it'd make sense to have a terminal that tracks a real market.

Fri, 10/26/2012 - 12:52 | 2921935 earnyermoney
earnyermoney's picture

Hopefully they're hanging from rope in their offices.

Fri, 10/26/2012 - 12:21 | 2921864 fuu
fuu's picture

Nice list of targ...schmucks.

Fri, 10/26/2012 - 12:23 | 2921869 tooriskytoinvest
tooriskytoinvest's picture

Steve Forbes: Ben Bernanke should resign this year, a Christmas present for the nation. There’s never a time in history where you get a sustained recovery when you have a weak currency. History’s against him.

http://www.moneynews.com/StreetTalk/Forbes-Bernanke-resign-Christmas/2012/10/25/id/461484

VIDEO: Woman Arrested For Speaking Too Long At City Council Podium

http://losangeles.cbslocal.com/2012/10/25/riverside-woman-arrested-for-exceeding-time-limit-at-city-council-podium/

We Are On The Eve Of Another Possible Stock Market Crash

http://investmentwatchblog.com/we-are-on-the-eve-of-another-possible-stock-market-crash/

Fri, 10/26/2012 - 12:35 | 2921903 worbsid
worbsid's picture

Except for the lady at the podium, everything is on hold till Nov 7th.  Note the volumn of the DJIA today.  Looks like most of the traders with any money went home too.

Fri, 10/26/2012 - 12:24 | 2921873 Yen Cross
Yen Cross's picture

 Now all we need is an ES close under 1400. That would make my W/E. :-}

Fri, 10/26/2012 - 12:24 | 2921879 Gene Parmesan
Gene Parmesan's picture

We're losing altitude and on a collision course with a mountain. It shouldn't be a surprise to see the flight crew strolling back to the rear galley to fix themselves a few stiff drinks.

Fri, 10/26/2012 - 12:34 | 2921899 Skateboarder
Skateboarder's picture

I swear they were drunk when we were boarding!

Fri, 10/26/2012 - 12:54 | 2921940 cosmictrainwreck
cosmictrainwreck's picture

parachutes...... (bitchez)

Fri, 10/26/2012 - 12:26 | 2921882 BLOTTO
BLOTTO's picture

Something wicked this way comes...

 

Fri, 10/26/2012 - 12:26 | 2921885 Lost Wages
Lost Wages's picture

Calling in sick for the apocalypse?

Fri, 10/26/2012 - 12:34 | 2921900 El Viejo
El Viejo's picture

Take away the props and the facade fall down go boom.

Fri, 10/26/2012 - 12:52 | 2921937 augustusgloop
augustusgloop's picture

just wait until next week when TPS rolls into town next Tuesday...perhaps exchanges will be prophelactically shuttered.

Fri, 10/26/2012 - 12:27 | 2921886 The big unzip
The big unzip's picture

Will the last one out please turn off the lights,  we don't want to waste money these days.

Fri, 10/26/2012 - 12:27 | 2921887 evolutionx
evolutionx's picture

24 Reasons For Gold

There are many reasons for Gold. First and foremost: Preservation of Wealth. The illusionary paper wealth will implode in the next few years. The initial trigger will be the collapse of the world’s reserve currency – the US dollar. The financial system is unlikely to survive in its present form. Gold has been money for 5,000 years and will continue to be the only currency with integrity.

 

http://www.mmnews.de/index.php/english-news/11038-24-reasons-for-gold

Fri, 10/26/2012 - 12:29 | 2921889 hedgeless_horseman
hedgeless_horseman's picture

 

 

The NY Fed trader's presence, or absence, at his desk may be the only risk on/risk off signal left in today's market.

 

 

Fri, 09/03/2010 - 11:41 | Link to Comment hedgeless_horseman

Fundamental analysis? Earnings? Technical analysis? Charts? We don't have a prayer when Ben has his finger on the button under the table.

You can take the ghosts of Graham, Dodd, Edwards, and McGee, as well as every CFA on the planet to manage a portfolio. I'll take one insider at 33 Liberty and my performance will wipe the men's room floor with your's.

Love your spirit, kid. Now get back to class.

http://www.zerohedge.com/article/ecri-declines-again-pass-below-double-dip-10-threshold-again#comment-562073

 

Fri, 10/26/2012 - 12:29 | 2921891 SillySalesmanQu...
SillySalesmanQuestion's picture

They all went to Gallaghers for a last drunken lunch at taxpayer expense, followed by a midget, tranny porn show and endless coke snorting.

Fri, 10/26/2012 - 12:31 | 2921895 Cognitive Dissonance
Cognitive Dissonance's picture

It's really sad that those Fed/Gov bastards gave midgets and tranny porn such a bad name.

Just sayin'

Fri, 10/26/2012 - 12:45 | 2921921 Unprepared
Unprepared's picture

I thought they left for pumpkin* carving competition.

 

*pumpkin: taxpayer

Fri, 10/26/2012 - 12:52 | 2921936 JPM Hater001
JPM Hater001's picture

"...followed by a midget, tranny porn show and endless coke snorting."

So they're starting early?

Fri, 10/26/2012 - 12:56 | 2921948 pursueliberty
pursueliberty's picture

I was about to make the same comment.  +1

Fri, 10/26/2012 - 12:29 | 2921892 metastar
metastar's picture

Americas Most Wanted!

Fri, 10/26/2012 - 13:12 | 2922014 WarPony
WarPony's picture

Americas Most Hunted!

 ... there, fixed it for you.

Fri, 10/26/2012 - 12:44 | 2921918 insanelysane
insanelysane's picture

Goldman must be holding a "trading huddle" with its FED Division.  Couldn't they just handle it through emails and IM like the LIEBOR Division does?

Fri, 10/26/2012 - 12:47 | 2921919 slaughterer
slaughterer's picture

Hard to imagine we were at 1470 last week before that Donnelly & Sons "scramble" with GOOG.

Fri, 10/26/2012 - 12:50 | 2921928 walküre
walküre's picture

That's their story and they're sticking to it!

ES was well below 1400 and DJI below 13,000 overnight.

Fri, 10/26/2012 - 13:03 | 2921974 RSloane
RSloane's picture

Yup, saw that early this morning. I also heard  panic screams from NYC and DC: "Man the breaches, man the breaches!"

Fri, 10/26/2012 - 12:50 | 2921930 Argonaught
Argonaught's picture

100% of the women are AWOL.  Hmmm....

Fri, 10/26/2012 - 12:50 | 2921932 tomgilb
tomgilb's picture

Then the PPT must have worked the night shift and are home sleeping.

Fri, 10/26/2012 - 12:55 | 2921933 Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture

They must be out checking the supplies at their  retreats

Fri, 10/26/2012 - 12:56 | 2921946 machineh
machineh's picture

With Sandy threatening, everybody's down in the basement, humping the gold to higher ground.

They'll work all weekend if they have to.

HEROES!

Fri, 10/26/2012 - 13:00 | 2921964 insanelysane
insanelysane's picture

No, no, no.  Germany is coming to audit their gold and everybody's down in the basement peeling off the labels that say Property of UK and replacing them with Property of Germany.

Fri, 10/26/2012 - 14:44 | 2922332 NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture

Typical self-centerdness, no?

German auditors are gonna be pissed that the stickers don't say "Eigentum von Deutschland."

Fri, 10/26/2012 - 20:01 | 2923028 HeavydutyMexica...
HeavydutyMexicanOfTheNorthernKingdom's picture

das bullshit

Fri, 10/26/2012 - 12:56 | 2921944 insanelysane
insanelysane's picture

What's a Rotational Analyst?  and if you are a rotational analyst do you really put down rotational in your title?

Fri, 10/26/2012 - 12:57 | 2921952 insanelysane
insanelysane's picture

Answered my own question.  The Rotational Analyst is obviously the person responsible for determining the speed at which the economy is circling the drain.

Fri, 10/26/2012 - 13:40 | 2921991 fuu
fuu's picture

His name was Kale Smimmo.

Fri, 10/26/2012 - 14:40 | 2922321 falak pema
falak pema's picture

does he play for Real MAdrid or Barcelona?

Fri, 10/26/2012 - 15:34 | 2922459 fuu
Fri, 10/26/2012 - 13:53 | 2922176 I_Rowboat
I_Rowboat's picture

It involves a spit, good coals, and a village feast.  Also known as "Long Pig" by the natives in certain parts of Polynesia.

Fri, 10/26/2012 - 13:10 | 2922007 Frank N. Beans
Frank N. Beans's picture

banker's hours

Fri, 10/26/2012 - 13:13 | 2922020 Haager
Haager's picture

Come on, it's not the numbers of people at work that counts.

What matters is the size of the single fat finger.

Fri, 10/26/2012 - 13:57 | 2922190 q99x2
q99x2's picture

They won't work either. No one works. I won't work. Have you ever seen the president work? Everybody quit working. The weather is great here in CA and nobody works here either unless they want to. Work is a voluntary condition of existance at this time. Most people have quit working and returned to colleges to date each other. Last week in speech class we watched George Bush our last president try to talk. That guy didn't work. Couldn't talk either. Everybody laughed at him. People would rather laugh at George Bush than work. We had fun.

Fri, 10/26/2012 - 14:12 | 2922234 walküre
walküre's picture

Roman baths

Versailles

Congress of Vienna

The Charleston

what do the above 4 share in common historically?

 

Fri, 10/26/2012 - 14:38 | 2922314 falak pema
falak pema's picture

le vice au bras du crime....Tweedle dee and Tweedle dum plotting to rule the world. 

There were always at least two people present to concoct a conspiracy; for, of and by the Oligarchs in conclave! 

The Charleston was the most innocent in appearance, out in the open, but it distlled the mood of irrational exuberance, like our Rolling stones of 60s exuberance; then of the roaring twenties; that led to ....financial armageddon.

Rolling stones and big bang, not a bad combination!

HAving found a complicated solution I am sure you will have the elegance to provide us a simple one! 

Fri, 10/26/2012 - 14:24 | 2922276 wagthetails
wagthetails's picture

Kev is pi$$ed..now he can't leave.  way to submarine his early exit ZH...not cool bro! 

Fri, 10/26/2012 - 14:31 | 2922295 Bansters-in-my-...
Bansters-in-my- feces's picture

I'm thinking it looks like someone fom the PPT snuck back into the office.

Screen went green ,for the DOW.

Fuck you timmy.

Fri, 10/26/2012 - 16:23 | 2922592 Nobody For President
Nobody For President's picture

Appears that (almost) everybody abandoned ship as Sandy the Frenkienstorm bears down on NYC (here's hoping...)

But at least one brave PPT member stayed to get the Dow jacked back green the last three minutes of the day, with a monster .03 gain for the day - 3.52 points, wowsa! My hat is off to the ability of these assholes to manipulate those numbers the last 5 minutes or less.

If Sandy does hit NYC more or less square, we may all get a trader's day off - the exchanges may just close for the day.

Early Halloween BiTCHez!

Fri, 10/26/2012 - 18:01 | 2922790 blunderdog
blunderdog's picture

I didn't think bankers* ever* had to work on Fridays--that's one of the big perqs they use to attract the best of the best.

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