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Friday Humor: Why The Market Is Down, Or "A Hard Day At The Fed"

Tyler Durden's picture




It's AAPL? It's GDP? It's Europe? It's the fiscal cliff? The real answer to why the market/AAPL is down today is clearly laid out in the table below. A stunning 30 of the 40 Fed employees on Bloomberg (that's 75% for the Keynesians) is red - or out of the office today. The PPT is OOTO! Good to know all that taxpayer money covering these terminals is going to good use! Also keep an eye on Kevin Henry's dot turning yellow from green and vice versa. The NY Fed trader's presence, or absence, at his desk may be the only risk on/risk off signal left in today's market.

 

(h/t @Not_Jim_Cramer)




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Fri, 10/26/2012 - 12:20 | Link to Comment Piranhanoia
Piranhanoia's picture

Terminal

Fri, 10/26/2012 - 12:34 | Link to Comment Fleecer
Fleecer's picture

PPT doesn't clock-in until 3pm EST. 

Never fear. 

 

Fri, 10/26/2012 - 12:37 | Link to Comment Stoploss
Stoploss's picture

No auctions today, so, no need to come in.

After all, there is no other source of liquidity is there..

Fri, 10/26/2012 - 12:48 | Link to Comment walküre
walküre's picture

Insiders have been selling all month and last month. They needed the pump or would have had  little to nobody to sell their paper to. Could be they liquidate before taxes change on capital gains or could be that they know this was their last HOOPLA.

Windows 8 looks awesome but won't save the day.

Fri, 10/26/2012 - 14:49 | Link to Comment negative rates
negative rates's picture

It's been a hard day's night. And the Feds been workin like a dog. We should be sleeping like a log, but when I get home to you, the things that you owe, keep it a hard days night. 

Fri, 10/26/2012 - 15:46 | Link to Comment Fleecer
Fleecer's picture

Tyler, curious... what's rollcall count now... As we're ramping into close?

Fri, 10/26/2012 - 12:39 | Link to Comment Unprepared
Unprepared's picture

"Friday Humor"

 

We mustn't have the same sense of humour.

Fri, 10/26/2012 - 12:47 | Link to Comment aint no fortuna...
aint no fortunate son's picture

job interviews at JPM?

Fri, 10/26/2012 - 12:51 | Link to Comment machineh
machineh's picture

No, it's the regular Friday circle jerk.

Fri, 10/26/2012 - 13:47 | Link to Comment kaiserhoff
kaiserhoff's picture

As the old ladies say, A hard man is good to find.

Fri, 10/26/2012 - 12:48 | Link to Comment Dalago
Dalago's picture

We got our eye on you, ya bastids!

Fri, 10/26/2012 - 12:50 | Link to Comment insanelysane
insanelysane's picture

Will be all hands on deck if Dow gets to 13000.01

Fri, 10/26/2012 - 12:36 | Link to Comment a growing concern
a growing concern's picture

So if you can see other people with Bloomberg terminals, couldn't you figure out who TD is? Overly simplistic, I'm sure. Maybe he's registered as TD?

Fri, 10/26/2012 - 12:41 | Link to Comment Unprepared
Unprepared's picture

TD's use hundreds of mirror users on BB.

Fri, 10/26/2012 - 12:43 | Link to Comment francis_sawyer
francis_sawyer's picture

Objects in the mirror are closer than they appear...

Fri, 10/26/2012 - 12:56 | Link to Comment oddjob
oddjob's picture

my favourite far side ever.

Fri, 10/26/2012 - 14:12 | Link to Comment kaiserhoff
kaiserhoff's picture

So fix the damn mirror...;)

Fri, 10/26/2012 - 12:44 | Link to Comment a growing concern
a growing concern's picture

Kewl.

Fri, 10/26/2012 - 13:11 | Link to Comment I only kill chi...
I only kill chickens and wheat's picture

Obviously he's the Jester, John. Why does the fed have a court Jester anyway.

Fri, 10/26/2012 - 12:46 | Link to Comment Vincent Vega
Vincent Vega's picture

Nope. I've tried it. Perhaps someone smarter than I could figure it out.

Fri, 10/26/2012 - 13:05 | Link to Comment drivenZ
drivenZ's picture

maybe he's under Dan Ivandjiiski.

Fri, 10/26/2012 - 12:42 | Link to Comment vast-dom
vast-dom's picture

best thing is for all of them to go RED PERMANENTLY or better yet just get delisted forever. then it'd make sense to have a terminal that tracks a real market.

Fri, 10/26/2012 - 12:52 | Link to Comment earnyermoney
earnyermoney's picture

Hopefully they're hanging from rope in their offices.

Fri, 10/26/2012 - 12:21 | Link to Comment fuu
fuu's picture

Nice list of targ...schmucks.

Fri, 10/26/2012 - 12:23 | Link to Comment tooriskytoinvest
tooriskytoinvest's picture

Steve Forbes: Ben Bernanke should resign this year, a Christmas present for the nation. There’s never a time in history where you get a sustained recovery when you have a weak currency. History’s against him.

http://www.moneynews.com/StreetTalk/Forbes-Bernanke-resign-Christmas/2012/10/25/id/461484

VIDEO: Woman Arrested For Speaking Too Long At City Council Podium

http://losangeles.cbslocal.com/2012/10/25/riverside-woman-arrested-for-exceeding-time-limit-at-city-council-podium/

We Are On The Eve Of Another Possible Stock Market Crash

http://investmentwatchblog.com/we-are-on-the-eve-of-another-possible-stock-market-crash/

Fri, 10/26/2012 - 12:35 | Link to Comment worbsid
worbsid's picture

Except for the lady at the podium, everything is on hold till Nov 7th.  Note the volumn of the DJIA today.  Looks like most of the traders with any money went home too.

Fri, 10/26/2012 - 12:24 | Link to Comment Yen Cross
Yen Cross's picture

 Now all we need is an ES close under 1400. That would make my W/E. :-}

Fri, 10/26/2012 - 12:24 | Link to Comment Gene Parmesan
Gene Parmesan's picture

We're losing altitude and on a collision course with a mountain. It shouldn't be a surprise to see the flight crew strolling back to the rear galley to fix themselves a few stiff drinks.

Fri, 10/26/2012 - 12:34 | Link to Comment Skateboarder
Skateboarder's picture

I swear they were drunk when we were boarding!

Fri, 10/26/2012 - 12:54 | Link to Comment cosmictrainwreck
cosmictrainwreck's picture

parachutes...... (bitchez)

Fri, 10/26/2012 - 12:26 | Link to Comment BLOTTO
BLOTTO's picture

Something wicked this way comes...

 

Fri, 10/26/2012 - 12:26 | Link to Comment Lost Wages
Lost Wages's picture

Calling in sick for the apocalypse?

Fri, 10/26/2012 - 12:34 | Link to Comment El Viejo
El Viejo's picture

Take away the props and the facade fall down go boom.

Fri, 10/26/2012 - 12:52 | Link to Comment augustusgloop
augustusgloop's picture

just wait until next week when TPS rolls into town next Tuesday...perhaps exchanges will be prophelactically shuttered.

Fri, 10/26/2012 - 12:27 | Link to Comment The big unzip
The big unzip's picture

Will the last one out please turn off the lights,  we don't want to waste money these days.

Fri, 10/26/2012 - 12:27 | Link to Comment evolutionx
evolutionx's picture

24 Reasons For Gold

There are many reasons for Gold. First and foremost: Preservation of Wealth. The illusionary paper wealth will implode in the next few years. The initial trigger will be the collapse of the world’s reserve currency – the US dollar. The financial system is unlikely to survive in its present form. Gold has been money for 5,000 years and will continue to be the only currency with integrity.

 

http://www.mmnews.de/index.php/english-news/11038-24-reasons-for-gold

Fri, 10/26/2012 - 12:29 | Link to Comment hedgeless_horseman
hedgeless_horseman's picture

 

 

The NY Fed trader's presence, or absence, at his desk may be the only risk on/risk off signal left in today's market.

 

 

Fri, 09/03/2010 - 11:41 | Link to Comment hedgeless_horseman

Fundamental analysis? Earnings? Technical analysis? Charts? We don't have a prayer when Ben has his finger on the button under the table.

You can take the ghosts of Graham, Dodd, Edwards, and McGee, as well as every CFA on the planet to manage a portfolio. I'll take one insider at 33 Liberty and my performance will wipe the men's room floor with your's.

Love your spirit, kid. Now get back to class.

http://www.zerohedge.com/article/ecri-declines-again-pass-below-double-dip-10-threshold-again#comment-562073

 

Fri, 10/26/2012 - 12:29 | Link to Comment SillySalesmanQu...
SillySalesmanQuestion's picture

They all went to Gallaghers for a last drunken lunch at taxpayer expense, followed by a midget, tranny porn show and endless coke snorting.

Fri, 10/26/2012 - 12:31 | Link to Comment Cognitive Dissonance
Cognitive Dissonance's picture

It's really sad that those Fed/Gov bastards gave midgets and tranny porn such a bad name.

Just sayin'

Fri, 10/26/2012 - 12:45 | Link to Comment Unprepared
Unprepared's picture

I thought they left for pumpkin* carving competition.

 

*pumpkin: taxpayer

Fri, 10/26/2012 - 12:52 | Link to Comment JPM Hater001
JPM Hater001's picture

"...followed by a midget, tranny porn show and endless coke snorting."

So they're starting early?

Fri, 10/26/2012 - 12:56 | Link to Comment pursueliberty
pursueliberty's picture

I was about to make the same comment.  +1

Fri, 10/26/2012 - 12:29 | Link to Comment metastar
metastar's picture

Americas Most Wanted!

Fri, 10/26/2012 - 13:12 | Link to Comment WarPony
WarPony's picture

Americas Most Hunted!

 ... there, fixed it for you.

Fri, 10/26/2012 - 12:44 | Link to Comment insanelysane
insanelysane's picture

Goldman must be holding a "trading huddle" with its FED Division.  Couldn't they just handle it through emails and IM like the LIEBOR Division does?

Fri, 10/26/2012 - 12:47 | Link to Comment slaughterer
slaughterer's picture

Hard to imagine we were at 1470 last week before that Donnelly & Sons "scramble" with GOOG.

Fri, 10/26/2012 - 12:50 | Link to Comment walküre
walküre's picture

That's their story and they're sticking to it!

ES was well below 1400 and DJI below 13,000 overnight.

Fri, 10/26/2012 - 13:03 | Link to Comment RSloane
RSloane's picture

Yup, saw that early this morning. I also heard  panic screams from NYC and DC: "Man the breaches, man the breaches!"

Fri, 10/26/2012 - 12:50 | Link to Comment Argonaught
Argonaught's picture

100% of the women are AWOL.  Hmmm....

Fri, 10/26/2012 - 12:50 | Link to Comment tomgilb
tomgilb's picture

Then the PPT must have worked the night shift and are home sleeping.

Fri, 10/26/2012 - 12:55 | Link to Comment Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture

They must be out checking the supplies at their  retreats

Fri, 10/26/2012 - 12:56 | Link to Comment machineh
machineh's picture

With Sandy threatening, everybody's down in the basement, humping the gold to higher ground.

They'll work all weekend if they have to.

HEROES!

Fri, 10/26/2012 - 13:00 | Link to Comment insanelysane
insanelysane's picture

No, no, no.  Germany is coming to audit their gold and everybody's down in the basement peeling off the labels that say Property of UK and replacing them with Property of Germany.

Fri, 10/26/2012 - 14:44 | Link to Comment NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture

Typical self-centerdness, no?

German auditors are gonna be pissed that the stickers don't say "Eigentum von Deutschland."

Fri, 10/26/2012 - 20:01 | Link to Comment HeavydutyMexica...
HeavydutyMexicanOfTheNorthernKingdom's picture

das bullshit

Fri, 10/26/2012 - 12:56 | Link to Comment insanelysane
insanelysane's picture

What's a Rotational Analyst?  and if you are a rotational analyst do you really put down rotational in your title?

Fri, 10/26/2012 - 12:57 | Link to Comment insanelysane
insanelysane's picture

Answered my own question.  The Rotational Analyst is obviously the person responsible for determining the speed at which the economy is circling the drain.

Fri, 10/26/2012 - 13:40 | Link to Comment fuu
fuu's picture

His name was Kale Smimmo.

Fri, 10/26/2012 - 14:40 | Link to Comment falak pema
falak pema's picture

does he play for Real MAdrid or Barcelona?

Fri, 10/26/2012 - 15:34 | Link to Comment fuu
Fri, 10/26/2012 - 13:53 | Link to Comment I_Rowboat
I_Rowboat's picture

It involves a spit, good coals, and a village feast.  Also known as "Long Pig" by the natives in certain parts of Polynesia.

Fri, 10/26/2012 - 13:10 | Link to Comment Frank N. Beans
Frank N. Beans's picture

banker's hours

Fri, 10/26/2012 - 13:13 | Link to Comment Haager
Haager's picture

Come on, it's not the numbers of people at work that counts.

What matters is the size of the single fat finger.

Fri, 10/26/2012 - 13:57 | Link to Comment q99x2
q99x2's picture

They won't work either. No one works. I won't work. Have you ever seen the president work? Everybody quit working. The weather is great here in CA and nobody works here either unless they want to. Work is a voluntary condition of existance at this time. Most people have quit working and returned to colleges to date each other. Last week in speech class we watched George Bush our last president try to talk. That guy didn't work. Couldn't talk either. Everybody laughed at him. People would rather laugh at George Bush than work. We had fun.

Fri, 10/26/2012 - 14:12 | Link to Comment walküre
walküre's picture

Roman baths

Versailles

Congress of Vienna

The Charleston

what do the above 4 share in common historically?

 

Fri, 10/26/2012 - 14:38 | Link to Comment falak pema
falak pema's picture

le vice au bras du crime....Tweedle dee and Tweedle dum plotting to rule the world. 

There were always at least two people present to concoct a conspiracy; for, of and by the Oligarchs in conclave! 

The Charleston was the most innocent in appearance, out in the open, but it distlled the mood of irrational exuberance, like our Rolling stones of 60s exuberance; then of the roaring twenties; that led to ....financial armageddon.

Rolling stones and big bang, not a bad combination!

HAving found a complicated solution I am sure you will have the elegance to provide us a simple one! 

Fri, 10/26/2012 - 14:24 | Link to Comment wagthetails
wagthetails's picture

Kev is pi$$ed..now he can't leave.  way to submarine his early exit ZH...not cool bro! 

Fri, 10/26/2012 - 14:31 | Link to Comment Bansters-in-my-...
Bansters-in-my- feces's picture

I'm thinking it looks like someone fom the PPT snuck back into the office.

Screen went green ,for the DOW.

Fuck you timmy.

Fri, 10/26/2012 - 16:23 | Link to Comment Nobody For President
Nobody For President's picture

Appears that (almost) everybody abandoned ship as Sandy the Frenkienstorm bears down on NYC (here's hoping...)

But at least one brave PPT member stayed to get the Dow jacked back green the last three minutes of the day, with a monster .03 gain for the day - 3.52 points, wowsa! My hat is off to the ability of these assholes to manipulate those numbers the last 5 minutes or less.

If Sandy does hit NYC more or less square, we may all get a trader's day off - the exchanges may just close for the day.

Early Halloween BiTCHez!

Fri, 10/26/2012 - 18:01 | Link to Comment blunderdog
blunderdog's picture

I didn't think bankers* ever* had to work on Fridays--that's one of the big perqs they use to attract the best of the best.

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