Friday Humor: Why The Market Is Down, Or "A Hard Day At The Fed"

Tyler Durden's picture

It's AAPL? It's GDP? It's Europe? It's the fiscal cliff? The real answer to why the market/AAPL is down today is clearly laid out in the table below. A stunning 30 of the 40 Fed employees on Bloomberg (that's 75% for the Keynesians) is red - or out of the office today. The PPT is OOTO! Good to know all that taxpayer money covering these terminals is going to good use! Also keep an eye on Kevin Henry's dot turning yellow from green and vice versa. The NY Fed trader's presence, or absence, at his desk may be the only risk on/risk off signal left in today's market.

 

(h/t @Not_Jim_Cramer)

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Fleecer's picture

PPT doesn't clock-in until 3pm EST. 

Never fear. 

 

Stoploss's picture

No auctions today, so, no need to come in.

After all, there is no other source of liquidity is there..

walküre's picture

Insiders have been selling all month and last month. They needed the pump or would have had  little to nobody to sell their paper to. Could be they liquidate before taxes change on capital gains or could be that they know this was their last HOOPLA.

Windows 8 looks awesome but won't save the day.

Fleecer's picture

Tyler, curious... what's rollcall count now... As we're ramping into close?

Unprepared's picture

"Friday Humor"

 

We mustn't have the same sense of humour.

machineh's picture

No, it's the regular Friday circle jerk.

kaiserhoff's picture

As the old ladies say, A hard man is good to find.

Dalago's picture

We got our eye on you, ya bastids!

insanelysane's picture

Will be all hands on deck if Dow gets to 13000.01

a growing concern's picture

So if you can see other people with Bloomberg terminals, couldn't you figure out who TD is? Overly simplistic, I'm sure. Maybe he's registered as TD?

Unprepared's picture

TD's use hundreds of mirror users on BB.

francis_sawyer's picture

Objects in the mirror are closer than they appear...

I only kill chickens and wheat's picture

Obviously he's the Jester, John. Why does the fed have a court Jester anyway.

Vincent Vega's picture

Nope. I've tried it. Perhaps someone smarter than I could figure it out.

drivenZ's picture

maybe he's under Dan Ivandjiiski.

vast-dom's picture

best thing is for all of them to go RED PERMANENTLY or better yet just get delisted forever. then it'd make sense to have a terminal that tracks a real market.

earnyermoney's picture

Hopefully they're hanging from rope in their offices.

fuu's picture

Nice list of targ...schmucks.

tooriskytoinvest's picture

Steve Forbes: Ben Bernanke should resign this year, a Christmas present for the nation. There’s never a time in history where you get a sustained recovery when you have a weak currency. History’s against him.

http://www.moneynews.com/StreetTalk/Forbes-Bernanke-resign-Christmas/2012/10/25/id/461484

VIDEO: Woman Arrested For Speaking Too Long At City Council Podium

http://losangeles.cbslocal.com/2012/10/25/riverside-woman-arrested-for-exceeding-time-limit-at-city-council-podium/

We Are On The Eve Of Another Possible Stock Market Crash

http://investmentwatchblog.com/we-are-on-the-eve-of-another-possible-stock-market-crash/

worbsid's picture

Except for the lady at the podium, everything is on hold till Nov 7th.  Note the volumn of the DJIA today.  Looks like most of the traders with any money went home too.

Yen Cross's picture

 Now all we need is an ES close under 1400. That would make my W/E. :-}

Gene Parmesan's picture

We're losing altitude and on a collision course with a mountain. It shouldn't be a surprise to see the flight crew strolling back to the rear galley to fix themselves a few stiff drinks.

Skateboarder's picture

I swear they were drunk when we were boarding!

BLOTTO's picture

Something wicked this way comes...

 

Lost Wages's picture

Calling in sick for the apocalypse?

El Viejo's picture

Take away the props and the facade fall down go boom.

augustusgloop's picture

just wait until next week when TPS rolls into town next Tuesday...perhaps exchanges will be prophelactically shuttered.

The big unzip's picture

Will the last one out please turn off the lights,  we don't want to waste money these days.

evolutionx's picture

24 Reasons For Gold

There are many reasons for Gold. First and foremost: Preservation of Wealth. The illusionary paper wealth will implode in the next few years. The initial trigger will be the collapse of the world’s reserve currency – the US dollar. The financial system is unlikely to survive in its present form. Gold has been money for 5,000 years and will continue to be the only currency with integrity.

 

http://www.mmnews.de/index.php/english-news/11038-24-reasons-for-gold

hedgeless_horseman's picture

 

 

The NY Fed trader's presence, or absence, at his desk may be the only risk on/risk off signal left in today's market.

 

 

Fri, 09/03/2010 - 11:41 | Link to Comment hedgeless_horseman

Fundamental analysis? Earnings? Technical analysis? Charts? We don't have a prayer when Ben has his finger on the button under the table.

You can take the ghosts of Graham, Dodd, Edwards, and McGee, as well as every CFA on the planet to manage a portfolio. I'll take one insider at 33 Liberty and my performance will wipe the men's room floor with your's.

Love your spirit, kid. Now get back to class.

http://www.zerohedge.com/article/ecri-declines-again-pass-below-double-dip-10-threshold-again#comment-562073

 

SillySalesmanQuestion's picture

They all went to Gallaghers for a last drunken lunch at taxpayer expense, followed by a midget, tranny porn show and endless coke snorting.

Cognitive Dissonance's picture

It's really sad that those Fed/Gov bastards gave midgets and tranny porn such a bad name.

Just sayin'

Unprepared's picture

I thought they left for pumpkin* carving competition.

 

*pumpkin: taxpayer

JPM Hater001's picture

"...followed by a midget, tranny porn show and endless coke snorting."

So they're starting early?

pursueliberty's picture

I was about to make the same comment.  +1

metastar's picture

Americas Most Wanted!

WarPony's picture

Americas Most Hunted!

 ... there, fixed it for you.

insanelysane's picture

Goldman must be holding a "trading huddle" with its FED Division.  Couldn't they just handle it through emails and IM like the LIEBOR Division does?

slaughterer's picture

Hard to imagine we were at 1470 last week before that Donnelly & Sons "scramble" with GOOG.

walküre's picture

That's their story and they're sticking to it!

ES was well below 1400 and DJI below 13,000 overnight.

RSloane's picture

Yup, saw that early this morning. I also heard  panic screams from NYC and DC: "Man the breaches, man the breaches!"

Argonaught's picture

100% of the women are AWOL.  Hmmm....

tomgilb's picture

Then the PPT must have worked the night shift and are home sleeping.