• Knave Dave
    05/23/2016 - 18:16
    This past Thursday marked the one-year anniversary of the US stock market’s death when stocks saw their last high. Market bulls have spent a year looking like the walking dead. They’ve...

Escape From New York Becoming Problematic As Holland, Brooklyn Battery Tunnels Close

Tyler Durden's picture


Remember the wetsuit purchased many years ago for that trip to Hawaii and never used once? It may be time to find where it is and clean it up, as "escaping from New York", in a worst case scenario is getting so problematic, swimming through the Hudson or East Rivers may soon be the only option. Moments ago, in a press conference, Andrew Cuomo reported that while the storm is behaving as predicted, as of 2pm today both the Holland and Brooklyn Battery tunnels will be closed. And if these are down, the Lincoln and Queens-Midtown can't be far behind, especially if the flood continues as expected.

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Mon, 10/29/2012 - 10:45 | 2927762 ACP
ACP's picture

Liquid Cloverfield, bitchez!

Mon, 10/29/2012 - 10:48 | 2927775 redpill
redpill's picture

Transport, this is Solo. Better take off, I can't get to you. I'll get her out on the Falcon.

Mon, 10/29/2012 - 10:51 | 2927785 malikai
malikai's picture

If the flooding takes hold, swimming through the river will be easy. All you got to do is go to the street.

Mon, 10/29/2012 - 10:54 | 2927798 redpill
redpill's picture

Now Bob in accounting, who made sure every fucking person in the office saw the pictures of him kayaking last summer, can show whether he's as good as he said he is!

Mon, 10/29/2012 - 11:04 | 2927851 Manthong
Manthong's picture

Maybe they should borrow some pumps from New Orleans.

Boy, clean up is going to be a bitch.

Mon, 10/29/2012 - 11:44 | 2927889 francis_sawyer
francis_sawyer's picture

To all New Yorkers:

I'd keep playin'... I don't think the hard stuff's comin' down for awhile...

Mon, 10/29/2012 - 11:47 | 2927979 francis_sawyer
francis_sawyer's picture

& besides... God would never disrupt the best trading day of my life!...



Mon, 10/29/2012 - 12:12 | 2928061 ParkAveFlasher
ParkAveFlasher's picture

This is PAF, just did a roundtrip through the Queens-Midtown Tunnel into Manhattan, to the office, and back over the Queensboro Bridge.  Not a lick of flooding yet.  From my vantage point coming back over the bridge I did notice the East River seemed a bit swollen. Not yet overflowing as of about a half hour ago.

Mon, 10/29/2012 - 11:23 | 2927909 Gert_B_Frobe
Gert_B_Frobe's picture

Nah, this is the final scrubbing needed after OWS fecaled the place up.

Mon, 10/29/2012 - 11:25 | 2927915 john39
john39's picture

the goldman sux scum breeds pestilence and filth of a calibre far beyond anything a small gathering of dissafected youth could ever hope to produce.

Mon, 10/29/2012 - 11:26 | 2927918 malikai
malikai's picture

It was pretty fecaled up before OWS showed up. In fact, I recall OWS was a response to the general fecaling up of the world courtesy of our friends at the banking cartel.

Mon, 10/29/2012 - 11:44 | 2927973 Chupacabra-322
Chupacabra-322's picture

Just a BETA test for implementing Martial Law on Fascist Bloomberg's disarmed population. 

Mon, 10/29/2012 - 14:30 | 2928507 A Nanny Moose
A Nanny Moose's picture

Swim either river at your own peril. Both are biohazards as it is.

Mon, 10/29/2012 - 10:51 | 2927784 Gully Foyle
Gully Foyle's picture

If this were a movie it would be the perfect time for a failed state, like "Iran" for example, to do some damage.


Mon, 10/29/2012 - 10:52 | 2927790 malikai
malikai's picture

By "failed state", you mean the "United States".

Mon, 10/29/2012 - 11:02 | 2927842 Gully Foyle
Gully Foyle's picture


Could be "Syria".

I here they have Chemical weapons smuggled out of Iraq just before the invasion.

Then again "Sudan" is kind of pissed for the bombing raid.

Could be an Axis of Re-evil.

Mon, 10/29/2012 - 11:25 | 2927914 Flakmeister
Flakmeister's picture

My vote for failed states would be Missisippi and perhaps Maine....

Honorable mention to Arkansas....

Mon, 10/29/2012 - 11:33 | 2927937 JohnG
JohnG's picture

There's a lot of failed banks in Georgia....

Mon, 10/29/2012 - 14:38 | 2928540 Zap Powerz
Zap Powerz's picture


its pretty hard to get more failed than 16T in debt and adding 1T per year to that debt.

When it comes to failure, America is number one!

Mon, 10/29/2012 - 22:13 | 2930021 Incubus
Incubus's picture

In about maybe a decade, we'll be doing the housekeeping/landscaping for the Singhs & the Chins.


Mon, 10/29/2012 - 15:22 | 2928662 patb
Mon, 10/29/2012 - 10:45 | 2927766 Robslob
Robslob's picture

Is that Obama pointing a gun at Bernanke or Blankfein???



Mon, 10/29/2012 - 10:46 | 2927767 Shibumi2
Shibumi2's picture

swim bitches...


but not with your gold, bitches...

Mon, 10/29/2012 - 11:21 | 2927904 i_call_you_my_base
i_call_you_my_base's picture

All you have to do is sew it into your life jacket.

Mon, 10/29/2012 - 10:46 | 2927770 Vincent Vega
Vincent Vega's picture

Where is Snake Plissken when we need him?

Mon, 10/29/2012 - 10:47 | 2927773 Buckaroo Banzai
Buckaroo Banzai's picture

"Snake Plissken?? I heard you were dead!"

Mon, 10/29/2012 - 10:58 | 2927821 GetZeeGold
GetZeeGold's picture



Hope this map of the minefield.....is up to date.

Mon, 10/29/2012 - 14:32 | 2928520 A Nanny Moose
A Nanny Moose's picture

"President of what?"

Mon, 10/29/2012 - 10:50 | 2927780 Robslob
Mon, 10/29/2012 - 14:36 | 2928537 Mad Mohel
Mad Mohel's picture

Riding on Adrienne Barbeau's titties.

Such a fine film from the pubescent years.

Mon, 10/29/2012 - 10:48 | 2927774 fuu
fuu's picture

Hopefully Kevin will be fine.

Mon, 10/29/2012 - 10:50 | 2927782 Temporis
Temporis's picture

Kevin is our only hope...

Mon, 10/29/2012 - 10:58 | 2927820 Unprepared
Unprepared's picture

"Save the Cheerleader, Save the World."

Mon, 10/29/2012 - 11:06 | 2927855 CrimsonAvenger
CrimsonAvenger's picture

Brilliant. I'd give you a million greenies for that if I could.

Mon, 10/29/2012 - 11:15 | 2927885 ziggy59
ziggy59's picture

You talking costner, water world star? Movie was water soaked crap

Mon, 10/29/2012 - 11:35 | 2927939 pods
pods's picture

No, Kevin the guy left behind to press the big red buy button at the NY Fed.


Mon, 10/29/2012 - 13:37 | 2928337 willwork4food
willwork4food's picture

I love Kevin.

Mon, 10/29/2012 - 10:49 | 2927776 1eyedman
1eyedman's picture

prob good move to close trading today....potential collapse of italian pro-brussels govt, led by convicted billionaire populist....with few human hands to battle the algos.   flashcrsh averted!  but where was it 10 days later?

Mon, 10/29/2012 - 10:50 | 2927783 krispkritter
krispkritter's picture

Long straws!

Mon, 10/29/2012 - 10:52 | 2927791 Fantasy Planet
Fantasy Planet's picture

Excludes govt. ammo delivery transports.

Mon, 10/29/2012 - 10:53 | 2927795 Cangaroo.TNT
Cangaroo.TNT's picture

Have they drafted the insurance company bailout plan yet?

Now your house and mortgage will share the same disposition: underwater.

Mon, 10/29/2012 - 10:54 | 2927801 Stuck on Zero
Stuck on Zero's picture

The Fed vaults are going to flood.  I just know it.  Germany will have to wait years for confirmation that the gold is all there.

Does Tungsten rust?


Mon, 10/29/2012 - 11:07 | 2927862 swiss chick
swiss chick's picture

or float!

Mon, 10/29/2012 - 11:35 | 2927940 GeezerGeek
GeezerGeek's picture

Dear Congress: While our vaults were underwater, the dogfish ate all the gold. Sorry, no audit can be done now.

Mon, 10/29/2012 - 13:49 | 2928364 hidingfromhelis
hidingfromhelis's picture

Dissolved is going to be the new vaporized.

Mon, 10/29/2012 - 11:39 | 2927955 XitSam
XitSam's picture

They will just let the basement stay flooded. After all, the gold will always be there, you can trust the Federal Reserve.

Mon, 10/29/2012 - 10:55 | 2927803 bania
bania's picture

I've sewn my gold into my wetsuit... dammit!

Mon, 10/29/2012 - 11:03 | 2927846 Unprepared
Unprepared's picture

Please stick a gps-tracker to your suit and link your real time position on this site.


A team of ZHers will be sent for an extraction mission shortly.


Note: the body will be recovered only if it's still inside the wetsuit.

Mon, 10/29/2012 - 11:12 | 2927874 ziggy59
ziggy59's picture

Planning on pulling an Osama?

Mon, 10/29/2012 - 11:11 | 2927869 malikai
malikai's picture

You know you're a stacker when your wetsuit's weights are gold, not lead.

Do NOT follow this link or you will be banned from the site!