It Just Isn't His Day...

Tyler Durden's picture

Everyone is safely home, tucked in and patiently waiting for the perfect storm to rage and ravage the Big Apple. Everyone - including the algos in just over 1 hour. Everyone.... except for Friday's "ramp the market in the last hour or else" workhorse - NYFed analyst/trader Kevin Henry...

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ZippyBananaPants's picture

Why is David Ortiz (big papi) on that list?  

francis_sawyer's picture

Can't you read?... He's been traded to the White Sox [along with Youklis]... He's the "player to be named later"...

GetZeeGold's picture



The White Sox could have pulled it off......had it not been for Bush.

Bananamerican's picture

Bush="what the fuck is WRONG with you??"


please do not defend him.

Death and Gravity's picture

Is Kevin on bilge pump duty today?

CPL's picture

He's young and knows how to swim.  At least that's what his records say.


We should collect some money together and send him a hooker and beer.

AlaricBalth's picture

I thought Kevin would be there. Posted this yesterday.

To bad my predictive powers aren't as good when it comes to ES or EUR/USD. :-)

francis_sawyer's picture

We're all counting on you Kevin Henry... You're our only hope...

ihedgemyhedges's picture

This Kevin guy is smarter than you think.  He turned down an offer to be safely tucked in at Barney Frank's place....

GetZeeGold's picture



Well....he was going to jump the shark today...but it was called on account of rain.


Maybe tomorrow......check back then.

a growing concern's picture

When his keepers realize they've left him at his desk unattended:

StychoKiller's picture

Poor Kevin!  Once you've made it onto Tyler's sh!t list, there's no turning back!

Taint Boil's picture



Just some young whippersnapper trying to do a good job I'm sure,

libertus's picture

Kevin...the pressure is on. Your THE guy who needs to keep the "free" market functioning. Just remember the following:

1. Buy all the shit from GS, JPM, BAC and all the other banks at really high prices. 

2. Sell gold for a low price to the same. 

3. Keep the porn to a reasonable level. 

4. Remember that we are watching.....

Haager's picture

Sell naked shorts of gold? Just thinking...

Acet's picture

Nah, didn't you hear the part about keeping the porn to a reasonable level today? No naked anything ...

Besides, any gold the FED sells is always covered by those IOUs stored in Fort Knox or whatever not too rehypotecated bars of other nation's gold in their vaults.

Quinvarius's picture

What is a reasonable level for porn? 

pods's picture

If you start to notice chafing, you have exceeded the reasonable level.


a growing concern's picture

Kevin, remember this is a great buying opportunity for FAZ.  That shit's going to the moon in short order.  Your bosses will think you're a genius.

Sauk Leader's picture

He was seen walking in this morning with some Chivas, a can of coke, and a Bob Seger CD. Wonder what he's up to.

Vincent Vega's picture

Probably just came in to surf some porn while the power last.

BearOfNH's picture

I see the DC office is exclusively manned by women. The FED is an equal-opportunity extractor.

icanhasbailout's picture

yeh, the monthly adjustments are a bitch

css1971's picture

Well someone has to stay in to make sure everything goes up!

LongSoupLine's picture

hope Kevin was a competetive swimmer at Rutgers...

Thomas's picture

I assumed he played lacrosse.

Grinder74's picture

Hey, girls that play lacrosse are hot!

Itch's picture

Kevin make sure you wear your rubber arm bands son.

firstdivision's picture

So one can safely assume that the Fed has moved into the "levitate world markets" mode

Awakened Sheeple's picture

It seems to be working that way for the EUR at this minute.

machineh's picture

Germans get upset when they ring 33 Liberty on a normal workday to check on their gold ... and no one's home.

insanelysane's picture

You mean the gold that has the label Property of Germany pasted over the label Property of UK pasted over the label Property of Jon Corzine pasted over the label...

thetruthseeker's picture

It is posts like this that help me survive this industry by always keeping me laughing. Keep up the good work, my fellow soldiers of truth.

Zola's picture

What a douche...

Brokenarrow's picture

You can bet he sees himself as a hero. And, he and his wifee are wondering what his new post will be at Pimco. His pals have probably become rich front running his trades that he alerts them what his wmt bot secret phone in someone else's name.

I lost a small fortune shorting the maket. I actually believed that the us had fair and free markets. The ppt was a myth. The whole system is a fucking ruse. I am utterly discusted with these criminals. It took me a while to realize the fix was in 2008.

People are getting cery sick of this game.

Karlus's picture

I suspect the opposite. His managers are going to catch on to the fact that people are mentioning his name over and over here and might/might not have him explain what is going on.

He will not be able to of course and will most likely be either severed to mitigate reputational risk or just pulled from BB at the minimum.

I am halfway wondering if he is remoting in from home or BB Anywhere...

Bottom line: Being lit up on ZH will cave anyone's world unless you are JonC

Bobbyrib's picture

The first clue was W enforcing the ban of naked short selling while allowing it during the market ramp during the stock market bubble.

Jason T's picture

Kevin, you had the talent to become a great trader and instead of that, you became a market manipulator for America's loan shark.

Kevin replies, "its a living"

It's a waste of life.

thetruthseeker's picture

"It's a living."

This is like Nazi soldiers saying, "I was just following orders."

Well Kevin, I hope you received some good trinkets for selling your soul.

Coldfire's picture

God's work must be done, come hell or high water.

djsmps's picture

Don't you mean Chuck Schumer's work?

yrbmegr's picture

Andrei, you've lost another ship?

GetZeeGold's picture



It was the whole fleet actually....we were kinda hoping you could help.