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Obama Address To The Nation Over Hurricane Sandy - Live Webcast

Tyler Durden's picture


Will the president preannounce the epic surge that Sandy will bring to Q4 GDP as America fails upward to achieve the Keynesian utopia through an infinity of broken windows - a hurricane that CNBC's Jim Cramer called a "GDP event", or merely an opportunity to take more shots... Find out below.


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Mon, 10/29/2012 - 12:48 | 2928186 lolmao500
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Gee Obama is not late for once?

Mon, 10/29/2012 - 12:49 | 2928187 Zer0head
Zer0head's picture

never saw that coming

Mon, 10/29/2012 - 13:00 | 2928233 francis_sawyer
francis_sawyer's picture

Lookin' 'Presidential' there Billy Ray!... [Capricorn]...

Mon, 10/29/2012 - 13:02 | 2928236 redpill
redpill's picture

Hurricane Sandy: finally an example of something that is going as badly as the Obama re-election campaign.

Mon, 10/29/2012 - 13:06 | 2928250 Buckaroo Banzai
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"What do Hurricane Sandy and President Obama have in common?"

"They both enjoy blowing white men!"


Mon, 10/29/2012 - 13:28 | 2928318 Surly Bear
Surly Bear's picture

He's coming in. I feel safer already.
~Private Hicks, United Space Marines

Mon, 10/29/2012 - 17:02 | 2928975 knukles
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Is it just me or am I clearly sensing that for all of us who so adamantly claim to not like either guy, there sure is a lot of Obey raggin' cynicism jokes and butt ass end of ridicule poppin' up these here days?

Nah, it's not just me...


(that old saying about time for a change seems rather apropos hereabouts)

Mon, 10/29/2012 - 20:43 | 2929712 Ballin D
Ballin D's picture

Theres a place where crazy theories like keynsian economics work and voting for third party candidates doesnt waste your vote.  This place is not the United States. 

Mon, 10/29/2012 - 13:49 | 2928368 TruthInSunshine
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The Montauk Monster  is going to be eating well for weeks...maybe months.

Mon, 10/29/2012 - 14:42 | 2928553 economics9698
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Paul Krugman just got a boner.

Mon, 10/29/2012 - 14:01 | 2928403 Uncle Remus
Uncle Remus's picture

"That fahkin cockaroach..."

Mon, 10/29/2012 - 12:58 | 2928216 lolmao500
lolmao500's picture

Here's something we all saw coming...

Obama seals Benghazi tapes

Most open administration evar!

And a reporter doing it's goddamn job...

Mon, 10/29/2012 - 13:03 | 2928242 redpill
redpill's picture


Mon, 10/29/2012 - 13:07 | 2928254 Buckaroo Banzai
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I swear, that joke never gets old.

Mon, 10/29/2012 - 14:11 | 2928447 Taffy Lewis
Taffy Lewis's picture

Best humor on the Internet is right here on this thread - at the expense of our asswipe, pansy, chunk-of-shit President.

Mon, 10/29/2012 - 17:10 | 2929002 TuesdayBen
TuesdayBen's picture

Ben&Jerry's new flavor to mark Obama's pending exit from office, Chunk-o-Shit, a chocolate vanilla swirl sprinkled with fecklessness, dipped in shit, paid for by the guy in line behind you, and carrying more calories than FLOTUS would approve of.  The whole gang loves it:

Mon, 10/29/2012 - 15:41 | 2928709 Muddy1
Muddy1's picture

Next up will be an emergency press conference where he'll tell us what he knew and when he knew it about the attack and murder of 4 Americans in Benghazi.  SARCASM

Mon, 10/29/2012 - 13:11 | 2928261 Buckaroo Banzai
Buckaroo Banzai's picture

Obama administration decision flowchart:

1) Did we fuck it up?

---> YES. GOTO 2

2) Can we lie about it?

---> YES. Tell lies, the bigger the better. GOTO 3

---> NO. Seal the records. GOTO 3

3) Smoke a butt and turn on ESPN.

Mon, 10/29/2012 - 13:12 | 2928268 redpill
redpill's picture

4) Do "a little blow" if any shred of remorseful feelings crop up

5) Total absorption.  Order pizza.  Pour out 2 oz of your Night Train to remember the Choom Gang. 

6) Nap

7) Go back to Step 1

Mon, 10/29/2012 - 13:19 | 2928292 TeamDepends
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Watch what you say or you will have Gloria Allred sniffing around your trashcans.

Mon, 10/29/2012 - 12:53 | 2928197 vast-dom
vast-dom's picture


Mon, 10/29/2012 - 13:16 | 2928274 redpill
redpill's picture


Mon, 10/29/2012 - 13:59 | 2928303 TruthInSunshine
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This is standard routine for Paul "Will You Invade Earth Already You Martian Bastards!!!" Krugman, Ph.D., Douchebag Emeritus


Krugman has been known to get stark naked and climb the lightning rod on top of the Times building during strong storms for no apparent reason, and to yell out "I'm On Top Of The World, John Maynard!!!"

Mon, 10/29/2012 - 13:11 | 2928265 FL_Conservative
FL_Conservative's picture

Glad to see he's all over this weather situation when he was too busy SLEEPING to make any decisions that would have saved the lives of our Benghazi consulate personnel.  Fucking asshole.

Mon, 10/29/2012 - 13:28 | 2928321 lolmao500
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General Ham :

Rear admiral Charles M. Gaouette :

If you add it all up... embassy under fire... call for backup... Obama says stand down... a general and an admiral hear about it, say FUCK THE ORDERS, try to go help the guys in the embassy... get fired as a result... 4 Americans die.

Mon, 10/29/2012 - 13:55 | 2928386 NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture

Gee, it's kinda like when the admirals were all trying to get FDR to let them go back to their West Coast bases rather than hanging out at Pearl Harbor like stitting ducks.

Casus belli, bitchez!

Mon, 10/29/2012 - 15:21 | 2928656 Dulcinea
Dulcinea's picture

Thanks for the links.  I wonder, what are the odds that Obama gets re-elected but impeached before his second term because of this? 

Mon, 10/29/2012 - 17:07 | 2928994 knukles
knukles's picture

Way the fuck too good and way the fuck not enough, in that specific order.

Mon, 10/29/2012 - 16:28 | 2928827 Chuck Walla
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Now, can we get sme answers on Libya? No, I didn't think so...


Mon, 10/29/2012 - 12:49 | 2928188 Cheesy Bastard
Cheesy Bastard's picture

Doin a heck of a job, Brownie.

Mon, 10/29/2012 - 12:56 | 2928212 Skateboarder
Skateboarder's picture

If he fucks up on Sandy, game over - Rombama will be taking over. Not that it matters, except for firing Evil Ben, but it's not like we expect these fools to offer up sexy promises and keep them like honorable men lol.

Mon, 10/29/2012 - 13:21 | 2928299 walküre
walküre's picture

There's no possible way.

Mon, 10/29/2012 - 12:50 | 2928191 VonManstein
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obama to the rescue !! his finest hour

Mon, 10/29/2012 - 12:54 | 2928202 LouisDega
LouisDega's picture

No question. A bg green arrow for you

Mon, 10/29/2012 - 20:22 | 2929629 mjcOH1
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"obama to the rescue !! his finest hour"

Prepare Choom Wagon One.

Mon, 10/29/2012 - 12:51 | 2928192 GolfHatesMe
GolfHatesMe's picture

Everyone make sure your tires are inflated properly

Mon, 10/29/2012 - 13:01 | 2928235 MsCreant
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Do dollars float? 

Mon, 10/29/2012 - 14:02 | 2928284 redpill
redpill's picture

Yes, but all the RMB tied to them makes them sink

Mon, 10/29/2012 - 14:02 | 2928407 MsCreant
MsCreant's picture

Thanks for spiking that set. There were a number of ways to play it...

Mon, 10/29/2012 - 12:52 | 2928195 VonManstein
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LOL "we are taking this very seriously" no siht

"do exactly what we tell you"

Mon, 10/29/2012 - 13:08 | 2928257 Flakmeister
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Don;t you have to go off and deal with Popov's tanks south of Kharkov?

Mon, 10/29/2012 - 13:54 | 2928382 VonManstein
VonManstein's picture

stop living in the past

Mon, 10/29/2012 - 14:08 | 2928438 Flakmeister
Flakmeister's picture

Hey, I am not the one using a long dead Nazi general's name for my handle....

BTW, I have read Lost Victories....

Mon, 10/29/2012 - 12:53 | 2928198 swissaustrian
swissaustrian's picture

For once he's saying the truth:

"The election will take care of itself" => voting machines

Mon, 10/29/2012 - 16:46 | 2928899 DosZap
DosZap's picture

For once he's saying the truth:

"The election will take care of itself" => voting machines


Along with this:

Mon, 10/29/2012 - 12:54 | 2928200 grunk
grunk's picture

"I'm going out to Cape May, New Jersey, and command the storm go out to sea." 

Mon, 10/29/2012 - 13:35 | 2928330 Randall Cabot
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On the way to Cape May is the proper terminology, I believe:

Mon, 10/29/2012 - 12:54 | 2928203 DOT
DOT's picture

The big guy made a good delivery. He should be a weatherman.

Mon, 10/29/2012 - 12:58 | 2928221 MsCreant
MsCreant's picture

Teleprompters, I think you got something there.

Mon, 10/29/2012 - 13:37 | 2928335 krispkritter
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 'He should be a weatherman.' Why?  Because he's wrong more than half the time and still gets a paycheck?

Mon, 10/29/2012 - 14:31 | 2928514 grunk
grunk's picture

Doesn't he belong to the Weather Underground?

Mon, 10/29/2012 - 16:31 | 2928837 Chuck Walla
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Doesn't he belong to the Weather Underground?

His friends did!  Only a couple dead by them so its all good. He's busy gettin' them killed in Africa thses days.


Mon, 10/29/2012 - 12:55 | 2928204 Zer0head
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the election will take care of itself


no shit sherlock the electonic voting has it all under control

Mon, 10/29/2012 - 12:55 | 2928206 pods
pods's picture

Did he say anything about not worrying about rules getting in the way of getting things done again?

Just what we need, a government not abiding by the rules set up for it.

You know, for our benefit.


Mon, 10/29/2012 - 12:55 | 2928207 Ms. Erable
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"We're going to make sure that this storm is distributed evenly; everyone will get their fair share."

Mon, 10/29/2012 - 12:56 | 2928208 MsCreant
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I can has Hurricane! I can dos betters than Bush. I can has election.

Mon, 10/29/2012 - 12:56 | 2928209 Bay of Pigs
Bay of Pigs's picture

BlowHorn: Home Depot is a buy now. 

Mon, 10/29/2012 - 12:56 | 2928211 Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture

Darn it all to heck.. I missed it! I'm not used to him being on time.

Mon, 10/29/2012 - 13:57 | 2928391 NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture

No tee time today. Just some hoops in the gym.

Mon, 10/29/2012 - 17:14 | 2929015 knukles
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Private gym  With his hand picked pick up teams. 

14 hz.....

Mon, 10/29/2012 - 12:57 | 2928217 buzzsaw99
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at least nobody got fukked by wall street today.

Mon, 10/29/2012 - 12:57 | 2928219 Cone of Uncertainty
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Obama is going to use this storm as an excuse to push out the employment report until after the election.

Mark my words muppets, my muther fucken words.

Mon, 10/29/2012 - 13:16 | 2928279 JR
JR's picture

The Labor Department said Monday that it has yet to make a decision on whether to delay Friday’s closely-watched October employment report due to the effects from Hurricane Sandy. -- Eric Morath 

 Big surprise: America is ruled by a representative of the people whose policies are transparent for all to see and his actions, completely moral, have only one objective – to further the interests of the people of the United States.

That was George Washington – the father of our country.

The current occupant of the White House, of course, is not in charge. That would be the owners of the NY Federal Reserve Bank. They’ll decide when the president speaks, if the labor report will be released, if the Benghazi tapes are sealed, or if Americans need to be assassinated to further their control.

“’We will assess the situation when the weather emergency is over and notify the press and public of any changes at that time,’ said Gary Steinberg, spokesman for the Bureau of Labor Statistics, the data arm of the department.”

Mon, 10/29/2012 - 13:00 | 2928229 HD
HD's picture

Obama: "Don't question the directions being given".  Actual words. Watch it again.

Mon, 10/29/2012 - 13:10 | 2928262 SilverRhino
SilverRhino's picture

I wish I could.  But the video is gone.  Who's got the replay? 


Mon, 10/29/2012 - 13:16 | 2928282 Bay of Pigs
Bay of Pigs's picture


left, left, left, riiiiiiiiiight, left....

Mon, 10/29/2012 - 13:31 | 2928308 HD
HD's picture

Around the 1:30 mark. He said instructions, not directions - an error on my part.

Mon, 10/29/2012 - 13:40 | 2928334 SilverRhino
SilverRhino's picture

Thanks dude.  

  • At 2:15 he sounds like such a prick.  
  • If you aren't following instructions you are putting first responders at risk.   
  • 2:40 : He's now passing out an excuse for the transport network to remain down for a time. 
  • 3:30 : Just did the same thing for the power network.   

On the bright side:  Construction boom in NE for the winter.   

I wonder why no one is commenting on the incredibly LOW pressure readings off of Sandy.  

For a Category 1 hurricane, Sandy has Category 3 or 4 barometric pressure readings.  

Lowest so far for Hurricane Sandy : 944mbar pressure.   (Cat 1 is normally 980-994 mbar) 

Now below 940mbar (

Mon, 10/29/2012 - 13:44 | 2928352 walküre
walküre's picture

On the bright side:  Construction boom in NE for the winter.

My truck is warming up as we speak. Wanting to be on the ground in The Hamptons soon. I take payment in cash or pms.

Mon, 10/29/2012 - 13:04 | 2928246 Zer0head
Zer0head's picture

now the media would never ever hype something even if it benefited the Pres, right? They're going to drag this farce out till the weekendwith a series of TV specials

pre-sandy special

Obama tours the devastation special

post-sandy special

the aftermath of sandy special

the next sandy special

how Bush caused sandy

how Obama saved us from sandy

how Romney exploited sandy

Mon, 10/29/2012 - 13:09 | 2928260 HD
HD's picture

 I might just tune in for a sandy bush special...

Mon, 10/29/2012 - 13:16 | 2928281 Flakmeister
Flakmeister's picture

Just had a flashback to when I nailed that waitress on the beach near Crystal Crescent NS.....

Mon, 10/29/2012 - 13:22 | 2928301 SilverRhino
SilverRhino's picture

That would be the sandy crack special.   

Mon, 10/29/2012 - 13:31 | 2928328 walküre
walküre's picture

some of us nailed plywood, you nailed a mattress ..

Mon, 10/29/2012 - 14:12 | 2928453 Flakmeister
Flakmeister's picture

I'm sorry, was that directed at me and supposed to be funny?

Mon, 10/29/2012 - 13:28 | 2928315 russwinter
russwinter's picture


Even before this storm, firms were looking at cut backs and lay offs. This event will very likely be a catalyst to what was already happening. These storms are not free rides, there is no broken window theory.  Just to claim Home Depot benefits is absurd.   This will be a knock on blow to an already weakening economy.

from Yahoo Finance BEFORE the Storm: North American companies have announced plans to eliminate 62,600 positions at home and abroad since Sept. 1, the biggest two-month drop since the start of 2010, according to data compiled by Bloomberg. Firings total 158,100 so far this year, more than the 129,000 job cuts in the same period in 2011. The reductions coincide with a majority of U.S. companies missing analysts' third-quarter revenue estimates and a focus on jobs in the final weeks of the U.S. presidential campaign.

"Companies are saying, ‘Let's not build up inventories, let's be lean and mean until we know until we have a better idea of what 2013 is going to look like,'" said Janna Sampson, who helps manage more than $3 billion for Oakbrook Investments in Lisle, Illinois. "There is a fear now as companies see that the economic recovery is not picking up."



Mon, 10/29/2012 - 13:30 | 2928324 walküre
walküre's picture

My Craigslist ad:

Fine restoration and home repairs in your Hamptons neighborhood.

We'll repair it back to its former glory and you won't have to lift a finger. As usual. Just keep doing what you do best. Print, print, print.

Schedule is open for bookings as of January 2nd, 2013! Our schedule up until January 2nd, 2013 can be more "flexible". It depends.


Licensed in your state. Call us now before everyone else will. You'll be glad you did.

Mon, 10/29/2012 - 13:31 | 2928327 Cone of Uncertainty
Cone of Uncertainty's picture

This is classic population control and economic shock testing by the government.

Utilize this "disaster" to condition the populace to respond on command to authority.

That we are dealing with a weather event is mostly irrelevent as it is the psychological response to government lead direcvtives that really matters.

We are having a bank holiday, it is larger and more expansive than first thought, the experts do not want you to panic, do not try and go to a bank and get your money out, DO NOT QUESTION WHAT YOU ARE BEING TOLD.

And as far as I can tell, the sheep are eating this shit up.

And remember muppets, never let a crisis go to waste, and you can fucking bank on that.

Mon, 10/29/2012 - 14:06 | 2928428 Bay of Pigs
Bay of Pigs's picture

They evacuated 100K in Hawaii sat night for another non event (tusnami). The warning was cancelled here in the NW very early. In fact, we didnt even feel the earthquake. 

From what my friends tell me in Maui, it was a joke over there. Lahaina was shut down completely. A bunch of chickens with their heads cut off.


Mon, 10/29/2012 - 13:33 | 2928331 Brokenarrow
Brokenarrow's picture

James Cramer: lying, punk-ass, bitch, thief, child molesting, puppy killer, and all around no good motherfucker.

Mon, 10/29/2012 - 13:37 | 2928338 Norsky
Norsky's picture

I thought Obama was going to calm the seas and heal the earth as one of his promises in 2008?

Mon, 10/29/2012 - 14:13 | 2928458 lamont cranston
lamont cranston's picture

No, all he promised to do was lower the sea level when global warming kicked in. 

Mon, 10/29/2012 - 14:05 | 2928427 loveyajimbo
loveyajimbo's picture

Was that Keynesian utopia or Kenyan myopia?  Can anyone believe this craven douchebag is even in the running?  Mitt was wrong... the sheep, welfare crooks, food stampers, illegals, muslims and blacks are MORE than 47%.  Oh... I wish I was in the land of Dixie...

Mon, 10/29/2012 - 14:12 | 2928450 lamont cranston
lamont cranston's picture

Other than it being 30º F. with 1" of snow and winds out of the NNE gusting to 35 mph, my corner of Dixie is fine. Hard to flood when you live less than 1/4 mile from the Eastern Continental Divide. 

Mon, 10/29/2012 - 14:09 | 2928442 lamont cranston
lamont cranston's picture

I wonder if any of the CNBS d-bags will even bring up Bastiat & The Broken Window fallacy other than Jim Rogers. 

Mon, 10/29/2012 - 14:34 | 2928526 grunk
grunk's picture

If a Cat One hurricane can goose the economy, just think what a world war would do.

Mon, 10/29/2012 - 15:00 | 2928607 Seasmoke
Seasmoke's picture

from today on, everything will be Sandys fault, including Obama losing

Mon, 10/29/2012 - 15:53 | 2928741 Turin Turambar
Turin Turambar's picture

Obama's just adding more hot air to the storm.


Mon, 10/29/2012 - 15:55 | 2928750 Turin Turambar
Turin Turambar's picture

If more money printing solves our debt crisis, then why wouldn't more wind solve the hurricane problem?  If only all New Yorkers would turn on fans.  Imagine 8 million + fans blowing in the face of Sandy.  Can you say capitulation?  LOL

Mon, 10/29/2012 - 18:09 | 2929154 monad
monad's picture

This man is a disaster. First he's too cowardly to run against Ron Paul, then to have an unscripted debate with Romney, who is a worse speaker than himself; then he and smack Hillary try to pretend the embassy isn't under attack obviously because an incident at this time would be inconvenient for his election campaign, only to clown up even the cover up. But he can 'warn the nation' about the weather, something he definitely can't do anything about. What a zombie.

Hare kari, Barry.

Mon, 10/29/2012 - 19:07 | 2929354 tyrone
tyrone's picture

Thats fine... just so long as the elections will ALSO be delayed likewise. 

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