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Disney Buys Lucasfilm, Star Wars 7 Coming In 2015

Tyler Durden's picture




 

Just when you thought the Star Wars sexalogy had three horrifying episodes too much, here comes Mickey Mouse to buy the HoldCo (for $4 billion) and make sure that even more atrocious dancing takes place on the grave of the science fiction movie that defined a generation. That, and a whole lot more Lando Calrissian action figures. Because how does one know Hollywood has officially run out of ideas? Like this: "Star Wars Episode 7 is targeted for release in 2015, with more feature films expected to continue the Star Wars saga and grow the franchise well into the future." Surely Star Wars 7 will have a Retina Display, but if young Skywalker relies on Apple maps to get to Tatooine we will just wait for part 9 (not to be confused with how many inches the maxiPad will be). What we are most excited about, however, is Indiana Jones 7 - Raiders of the Lost Wheelchair. And the renaming of Star Wars IV, of course, to "A New Hope and Change."

From the PR:

Disney to Acquire Lucasfilm Ltd.

  • Global leader in high-quality family entertainment agrees to acquire world-renowned Lucasfilm Ltd, including legendary STAR WARS franchise.
  • Acquisition continues Disney’s strategic focus on creating and monetizing the world’s best branded content, innovative technology and global growth to drive long-term shareholder value.
  • Lucasfilm to join company’s global portfolio of world class brands including Disney, ESPN, Pixar, Marvel and ABC.
  • STAR WARS: EPISODE 7 feature film targeted for release in 2015.

 Continuing its strategy of delivering exceptional creative content to audiences around the world, The Walt Disney Company (DIS) has agreed to acquire Lucasfilm Ltd. in a stock and cash transaction. Lucasfilm is 100% owned by Lucasfilm Chairman and Founder, George Lucas.

Under the terms of the agreement and based on the closing price of Disney stock on October 26, 2012, the transaction value is $4.05 billion, with Disney paying approximately half of the consideration in cash and issuing approximately 40 million shares at closing. The final consideration will be subject to customary post-closing balance sheet adjustments.

“Lucasfilm reflects the extraordinary passion, vision, and storytelling of its founder, George Lucas,” said Robert A. Iger, Chairman and Chief Executive Officer of The Walt Disney Company. “This transaction combines a world-class portfolio of content including Star Wars, one of the greatest family entertainment franchises of all time, with Disney’s unique and unparalleled creativity across multiple platforms, businesses, and markets to generate sustained growth and drive significant long-term value.”

“For the past 35 years, one of my greatest pleasures has been to see Star Wars passed from one generation to the next,” said George Lucas, Chairman and Chief Executive Officer of Lucasfilm. “It’s now time for me to pass Star Wars on to a new generation of filmmakers. I’ve always believed that Star Wars could live beyond me, and I thought it was important to set up the transition during my lifetime. I’m confident that with Lucasfilm under the leadership of Kathleen Kennedy, and having a new home within the Disney organization, Star Wars will certainly live on and flourish for many generations to come. Disney’s reach and experience give Lucasfilm the opportunity to blaze new trails in film, television, interactive media, theme parks, live entertainment, and consumer products.”

Under the deal, Disney will acquire ownership of Lucasfilm, a leader in entertainment, innovation and technology, including its massively popular and “evergreen” Star Wars franchise and its operating businesses in live action film production, consumer products, animation, visual effects, and audio post production. Disney will also acquire the substantial portfolio of cutting-edge entertainment technologies that have kept audiences enthralled for many years. Lucasfilm, headquartered in San Francisco, operates under the names Lucasfilm Ltd., LucasArts, Industrial Light & Magic, and Skywalker Sound, and the present intent is for Lucasfilm employees to remain in their current locations.

Kathleen Kennedy, current Co-Chairman of Lucasfilm, will become President of Lucasfilm, reporting to Walt Disney Studios Chairman Alan Horn. Additionally she will serve as the brand manager for Star Wars, working directly with Disney’s global lines of business to build, further integrate, and maximize the value of this global franchise. Ms. Kennedy will serve as executive producer on new Star Wars feature films, with George Lucas serving as creative consultant. Star Wars Episode 7 is targeted for release in 2015, with more feature films expected to continue the Star Wars saga and grow the franchise well into the future.

The acquisition combines two highly compatible family entertainment brands, and strengthens the long-standing beneficial relationship between them that already includes successful integration of Star Wars content into Disney theme parks in Anaheim, Orlando, Paris and Tokyo.

Driven by a tremendously talented creative team, Lucasfilm’s legendary Star Wars franchise has flourished for more than 35 years, and offers a virtually limitless universe of characters and stories to drive continued feature film releases and franchise growth over the long term. Star Wars resonates with consumers around the world and creates extensive opportunities for Disney to deliver the content across its diverse portfolio of businesses including movies, television, consumer products, games and theme parks. Star Wars feature films have earned a total of $4.4 billion in global box to date, and continued global demand has made Star Wars one of the world’s top product brands, and Lucasfilm a leading product licensor in the United States in 2011. The franchise provides a sustainable source of high quality, branded content with global appeal and is well suited for new business models including digital platforms, putting the acquisition in strong alignment with Disney’s strategic priorities for continued long-term growth.

The Lucasfilm acquisition follows Disney’s very successful acquisitions of Pixar and Marvel, which demonstrated the company’s unique ability to fully develop and expand the financial potential of high quality creative content with compelling characters and storytelling through the application of innovative technology and multiplatform distribution on a truly global basis to create maximum value. Adding Lucasfilm to Disney’s portfolio of world class brands significantly enhances the company’s ability to serve consumers with a broad variety of the world’s highest-quality content and to create additional long-term value for our shareholders.

The Boards of Directors of Disney and Lucasfilm have approved the transaction, which is subject to clearance under the Hart-Scott-Rodino Antitrust Improvements Act, certain non-United States merger control regulations, and other customary closing conditions. The agreement has been approved by the sole shareholder of Lucasfilm

 

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Tue, 10/30/2012 - 16:07 | 2932558 catacl1sm
catacl1sm's picture

Sweet!

Tue, 10/30/2012 - 16:09 | 2932566 Pladizow
Pladizow's picture

Fuck Bernanke and Ja Ja Binks!

Tue, 10/30/2012 - 16:10 | 2932577 redpill
redpill's picture

<--- People waiting in line overnight for iPhones are bigger dorks

<--- People waiting in line overnight to see a Star Wars movie are bigger dorks

Tue, 10/30/2012 - 16:12 | 2932588 IndicaTive
IndicaTive's picture

good one

Tue, 10/30/2012 - 16:21 | 2932616 Dr. Richard Head
Dr. Richard Head's picture

I've yet to watch one complete Star Wars movie in any itteration.

Tue, 10/30/2012 - 16:49 | 2932725 flacon
flacon's picture

I was at WalMart today, they are still pimping "Ninja Turtles". Isn't there anything new under the sun - I mean come on man... Star Wars?! Ninja Turtles?! PokeBong?!

Tue, 10/30/2012 - 18:18 | 2932947 Almost Solvent
Almost Solvent's picture

CareBears reboot hits movie theaters early next year. Budget overruns estimated at 15-20M have delayed the premiere . . .

Tue, 10/30/2012 - 22:59 | 2933569 Oh regional Indian
Oh regional Indian's picture

Star Wars 7 : The Revenge of the Fat Chinless Dude (No, Not Jabba)

ori

Tue, 10/30/2012 - 19:54 | 2933120 unrulian
unrulian's picture

Sorry had to junk you for going to WalMart

Tue, 10/30/2012 - 21:28 | 2933347 Pure Evil
Pure Evil's picture

But, this time the Empire will be the good guys with the first Kenyan Emperor, the resistance as domestic terrorists, and the Jedi will have switched sides and bear some resemblance to the TSA.

Tue, 10/30/2012 - 16:27 | 2932642 homersimpson
homersimpson's picture

You can call me Dorkus Maximus as I stand in line for Star Wars 7.. but I ain't going to be camping out a week before the opening, that's for sure.

On the other hand.. please. Star Wars is a classic. iPhones are just a fad. Let's not use iPhones and Star Wars in the same sentence, because no one will care about the iPhone in 40 years, let alone 4.

Tue, 10/30/2012 - 17:04 | 2932764 I am a Man I am...
I am a Man I am Forty's picture

Is it the computer part, internet part, touch screen part, or telephone part of the iPhone that is just a fad?

Tue, 10/30/2012 - 18:05 | 2932928 object_orient
object_orient's picture

Wow you are sensitive about Apple. The sum of those parts you listed could also be any number of other devices. Does the original iPhone have value anymore? The original Star Wars sure does.

Tue, 10/30/2012 - 18:48 | 2933015 homersimpson
homersimpson's picture

Obviously this guy hasn't gotten the memo that the iPhone won't go the way of the transistor radio and the horse/buggy one day..

Tue, 10/30/2012 - 17:56 | 2932909 DaveyJones
DaveyJones's picture

Industrial Light and Magic is the real history marker. One good measurement is placing the film's special effects against Logan's Run which came out, I think, a year earlier. In some ways, Star Wars and the Iphone have a lot in common. As reality becomes more unacceptable, we live more and more in our artificial worlds.   

Tue, 10/30/2012 - 17:56 | 2932911 asteroids
asteroids's picture

Fucking genius move by Lucas. He is cashing out at the right time. Look Lucasfilm is nothing more than a really big SFX house these days. There are tons of smaller one that are eating into his profits. Take a look at the credits for Clould Atlas, he'll they are almost as long as the m ovie.

Wed, 10/31/2012 - 00:57 | 2933762 herewego...
herewego...'s picture

Fucking genius move by the PR company - a story burried on Halloween and after a major storm.

 

If this had appeared, say, last week or next week then we'd have obligatory stories talking about the purchasing of a nation's shared memories (Pixar + Marvel + now Star wars).

 

A deal worth billions that was inked a while back. Wouldn't you wait for the right moment to tell the world?

Tue, 10/30/2012 - 16:54 | 2932740 RafterManFMJ
RafterManFMJ's picture

I just learned I cannot vote for both options.

Tue, 10/30/2012 - 16:22 | 2932626 QE49er
QE49er's picture

I believe "Spaceballs 2: The Search For More Money" is the more appropriate sequel we should all be waiting for during these hard times. 

Tue, 10/30/2012 - 16:54 | 2932742 Terminus C
Terminus C's picture

Spaceballs was a fucking classic.

Tue, 10/30/2012 - 17:25 | 2932827 Everyman
Everyman's picture

Your post SHOULD read:

"I believe "Spaceballs 2: The Search For More SPACEBUCKS" is the more appropriate sequel we should all be waiting for during these hard times. 

Tue, 10/30/2012 - 16:10 | 2932573 Buckaroo Banzai
Buckaroo Banzai's picture

Star Wars: A New Hope

Tue, 10/30/2012 - 21:32 | 2933352 Pure Evil
Pure Evil's picture

Yes, a new hope that Obama will be re-elected to a second term, but very little change from his first term.

Tue, 10/30/2012 - 16:35 | 2932674 Magnix
Magnix's picture

It better not be a lame movie with too many special effects. It must have a good plot. Not just throw some special effects and end the movie badly. I would be DISAPPOINTED - LOL. I hope it would be more of a Titantic, Avavtor, ET movie kind of thing. Best of the best.

Tue, 10/30/2012 - 17:09 | 2932781 greenEagles
greenEagles's picture

"NOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooooooooooooooooo......."

Wed, 10/31/2012 - 08:13 | 2934022 TheEmperor
TheEmperor's picture

This move is unexpected, it is too aggressive.

Lord Maul, be mindful.

Tue, 10/30/2012 - 16:08 | 2932563 becky quick and...
becky quick and her beautiful mouth's picture

as if millions of voices suddenly cried out in terror and were suddenly silenced.

Tue, 10/30/2012 - 17:50 | 2932882 krispkritter
krispkritter's picture

Post election response. Darth Obummer and the Darky Star...2012

Tue, 10/30/2012 - 16:08 | 2932565 viahj
viahj's picture

I'm There!

Tue, 10/30/2012 - 16:09 | 2932568 lolmao500
lolmao500's picture

WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAT!

Tue, 10/30/2012 - 16:10 | 2932575 IndicaTive
IndicaTive's picture

Is NOTHING sacred?

Tue, 10/30/2012 - 16:12 | 2932589 redpill
redpill's picture

Maybe they can get Janet Napolitano to play Chewbacca?

Tue, 10/30/2012 - 16:21 | 2932618 IndicaTive
IndicaTive's picture

Nailed the hair. 

Tue, 10/30/2012 - 16:50 | 2932730 john39
john39's picture

i think janet as the Sarlacc would be more appropriate:

http://starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Sarlacc

Tue, 10/30/2012 - 18:19 | 2932952 Almost Solvent
Almost Solvent's picture

Janet Reno might fit the bill

Tue, 10/30/2012 - 21:19 | 2933317 Ballin D
Ballin D's picture

You linked the one I didnt need to look up to know its relevance.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Janet_Napolitano

Tue, 10/30/2012 - 18:02 | 2932919 DaveyJones
DaveyJones's picture

and the Surgeon General for Jabba

and Obama to play Mark Hamill playing Luke, the skinny bad actor with no future 

Tue, 10/30/2012 - 19:59 | 2933130 BeaverFever
BeaverFever's picture

Sorry, that role has already been filled by Obama's huskier half, The First Chewbacca.

If you have any problem with that she will happily place your head under one of her armpits and squish it to the size of a pea.

Tue, 10/30/2012 - 16:11 | 2932580 Euro Monster
Euro Monster's picture

Mooooommyyy!!!!

Tue, 10/30/2012 - 16:14 | 2932581 Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture

The Star Wars trilogy  was my favorite movies when I was a kid. I really looked forward to Vader's story in the prequels. What a let down, Lucas really screwed them up.Then he milked the series for all that it was worth to the point that I'm surprised there is any value left. Maybe Disney will take a mulligan on  1,2, and 3 and do a do-over.

Tue, 10/30/2012 - 16:14 | 2932597 redpill
redpill's picture

And just to make sure whatever fuzzy warm childhood memories you had of the first trilogy were thoroughly annihilated, he re-released them with shitty, unnecessary CGI and dialogue changes.  Fucker.

 

Tue, 10/30/2012 - 16:26 | 2932641 Spastica Rex
Spastica Rex's picture

I used to think that Natalie Portman's terrible acting in the prequels must have been the fault of Lucas and horrible dialogue. Then I saw her in other films. I still hate Lucas. He's a great exemplar of our current "value system," however.

Tue, 10/30/2012 - 16:44 | 2932707 otto skorzeny
otto skorzeny's picture

Portman is an Israeli Firster and she starred in some POS movie about kicking the Palestinians out of the West Bank-I'm sure she received the SW job based  on her being a fave of the HollYid Syndicate

Tue, 10/30/2012 - 17:06 | 2932773 toothpicker
toothpicker's picture

MK puppy

Tue, 10/30/2012 - 18:00 | 2932905 Disenchanted
Disenchanted's picture

 

 

 

You mean Natalie Hershlag born in Jerusalem...right?

 

Portman, a dual citizen of the United States and Israel, has said that although she "really love[s] the States... my heart's in Jerusalem. That's where I feel at home." 

 

Natalie Portman Shills For The Zionist War Machine And Spews Lies On Syria: Jewish Hollywood’s Power In Action

http://www.maskofzion.com/2012/04/natalie-portman-shills-for-zionist-war...

 

The movie you refer to is called "Free Zone."

Tue, 10/30/2012 - 19:03 | 2932986 Hacked Economy
Hacked Economy's picture

Oh, to think that ZH was once a place for economic and philosophical wordplay in the comments section.  The occasional troll would come out from under the bridge and be quickly trounced as part of the entertainment.

Now the trolls are being replaced by cynical haters who spew the generic "we hate everything, and everything's Israel's fault".  Gimme a break.  It got old years ago.  If you don't like Jews, then fine...that's your opinion and you're entitled to it.  But Disney buys the Star Wars franchise, and you find a way to wedge it into THIS story?

You need a girlfriend.

Tue, 10/30/2012 - 19:28 | 2933080 otto skorzeny
otto skorzeny's picture

power and $ in the US is controlled by a Jewish cabal-explain to me how 1.7% of this country's wealth controls 40%+ of its wealth? as far as a girlfriend-1 wife is more than I can handle-and how the fuck does needing a girlfriend relate to anything? Also-Disney-run by a jew :(

Wed, 10/31/2012 - 07:02 | 2933919 Darth Sidious
Darth Sidious's picture

i'm sure that one wife is really ugly

Tue, 10/30/2012 - 17:32 | 2932843 icanhasbailout
icanhasbailout's picture

She is perhaps the single worst "actress" prostituted by Hollywood in a century. She must have won her roles with her tongue, because she sure didn't win them with her on screen performance.

Tue, 10/30/2012 - 16:31 | 2932660 Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture

Yep then he released them digitally then digitally remastered then on Blu-ray and blah blah blah blah blah on and on and on.... Money grubbing fucker.

Tue, 10/30/2012 - 16:51 | 2932733 JohnnyBriefcase
JohnnyBriefcase's picture

When did he drop the "stein" from his last name? Or perhaps "berg" or "fein" or "gold" or "schild"?

Tue, 10/30/2012 - 17:06 | 2932774 Skateboarder
Skateboarder's picture

In Star Wars 7 we see Bambi, Alladin, and Gaston, now Jedi Warriors, battle Jafar, Scar, and Dark Quasimodo... in space...

Tue, 10/30/2012 - 18:07 | 2932931 DaveyJones
DaveyJones's picture

Jiminy Cricket as Yoda is where I draw the line.

Tue, 10/30/2012 - 16:38 | 2932687 pods
pods's picture

Han shot first dammit!

pods

Tue, 10/30/2012 - 16:53 | 2932738 redpill
redpill's picture

And I would have too.  Greedo motherfucker.

Tue, 10/30/2012 - 18:41 | 2932996 Hacked Economy
Hacked Economy's picture

You beat me to it, but it's worth repeating.

Everyone say it together now...

HAN SHOT FIRST

Tue, 10/30/2012 - 19:08 | 2933048 nmewn
nmewn's picture

Get there fustest with the mostest...works every time, has for thousands of years.

Tue, 10/30/2012 - 16:32 | 2932628 Agent P
Agent P's picture

You'd think after John Carter they'd be staying away from space movies for awhile.

And I totally agree with you on the Star Wars movies.  The prequels were unbearable to watch...and this is coming from a guy who loves Star Wars and really wants to have sex with Natalie Portman.

Tue, 10/30/2012 - 16:24 | 2932633 LMAO
LMAO's picture

Agree Star Wars 4,5,6,...7 just as bad as QE 4,5,6....7......?

Tue, 10/30/2012 - 16:12 | 2932582 Id fight Gandhi
Id fight Gandhi's picture

Star Wars, the quest for money

Tue, 10/30/2012 - 20:18 | 2933170 SDShack
SDShack's picture

Lucas says "I find your lack of faith disturbing."

Tue, 10/30/2012 - 16:14 | 2932586 TIMBEEER
TIMBEEER's picture

-

Tue, 10/30/2012 - 16:13 | 2932590 Frastric
Frastric's picture

George Lucas has been cock-sucking big time again...

They trashed Star Trek with JJ Abram's 'vision' of the franchise, and now even Star Wars is about to be raped...

It is a black day for sci-fi fans...

Tue, 10/30/2012 - 17:02 | 2932746 JohnnyBriefcase
JohnnyBriefcase's picture

I'm sorry. About to be raped?! I'll just assume you missed episodes 1-3.

 

Sci-fi has sucked since after Aliens.

 

Oh sorry, The Fifth Element is good too.

Tue, 10/30/2012 - 17:35 | 2932850 redpill
redpill's picture

Don't forget Blade Runner.

I liked Event Horizon too, although that's really just a sci-fi setting for one fucked up horror movie.  Same for Dark City.

Tue, 10/30/2012 - 18:34 | 2932938 JohnnyBriefcase
JohnnyBriefcase's picture

Right I totally forgot Blade Runner. Dark City was meh.

Tue, 10/30/2012 - 18:22 | 2932957 Almost Solvent
Almost Solvent's picture

Event Horizon was sweet and it was left with the ability to spinoff sequels, and a prequel done right would be fucking awesome to watch the horrors when the gravity drive was first engaged. 

Tue, 10/30/2012 - 20:06 | 2933140 SDShack
SDShack's picture

Blade Runner holds up as well today as it did when it was made. Awesome movie, script and story.

Thu, 11/01/2012 - 16:25 | 2938772 DaveyJones
DaveyJones's picture

I'll second that motion.  Good director. One of the few good actors out of the star wars trilogy. Probably accurate vision of the future.

Tue, 10/30/2012 - 16:17 | 2932591 hedgeless_horseman
hedgeless_horseman's picture

 

 

The Boards of Directors of Disney and Lucasfilm have approved the transaction...

"I've made a deal that will keep the empire out of our affairs forever."

Tue, 10/30/2012 - 16:46 | 2932714 Sweet Chicken
Sweet Chicken's picture

HAHA fucking CLASSIC!!!! Well done sir!!!

 

"I am risking an awful lot Vader this had better work!"

Tue, 10/30/2012 - 16:47 | 2932719 mercenaryomics
Tue, 10/30/2012 - 16:13 | 2932593 ptoemmes
ptoemmes's picture

Lando looks a lot like Eric Holder (or vice versa).  I know it's not possible, but still...

Tue, 10/30/2012 - 16:15 | 2932599 Wakanda
Wakanda's picture

Trust the Force Luke, not the mouse.

Tue, 10/30/2012 - 16:17 | 2932602 otto skorzeny
otto skorzeny's picture

Let's hope First Lady Chewbacca will be out of the WH by then and be able to work on this film without it cutting into her second 4 year taxpayer paid-for vacation.

Tue, 10/30/2012 - 16:20 | 2932611 Flatchestynerdette
Flatchestynerdette's picture

Swell.

Jar Jar binks meets Beauty and the Beast musical

 

Someone asked Is nothing sacred?

No. If money is to be made - nothing is sacred and it just sucks.

Tue, 10/30/2012 - 20:06 | 2933139 Tijuana Donkey Show
Tijuana Donkey Show's picture

Star wars on ice?

Tue, 10/30/2012 - 16:21 | 2932620 lolmao500
lolmao500's picture

Is there any big star wars forum that I can read and laugh?

This whole thing is gonna create a shitstorm of epic proportions.

Tue, 10/30/2012 - 16:47 | 2932718 fuu
fuu's picture

Bullish for Schadenfreude.

Tue, 10/30/2012 - 16:22 | 2932622 alien-IQ
alien-IQ's picture

Hollywood ran out of ideas a long time ago, but this is just pathetic. Star Wars 7 ??? I mean...seriously...what the fuck?????

Tue, 10/30/2012 - 16:45 | 2932711 Rainman
Rainman's picture

agree.....can't imagine actually paying to watch 2 hours of video game cartoon shit. Then they give it an Oscar....like that baboon IQ film Avatar.

Tue, 10/30/2012 - 17:15 | 2932797 exi1ed0ne
exi1ed0ne's picture

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FxKtZmQgxrI

7 part review of Episode one that examines every aspect of how horribly awful it was.  Best damn review EVER and worth the watch.

Tue, 10/30/2012 - 23:21 | 2933621 ebworthen
ebworthen's picture

That was worth it; scathingly, brutally, true.

Tue, 10/30/2012 - 17:16 | 2932798 XitSam
XitSam's picture

They have only to look to respected awards for a good example ... like the Nobel Peace Prize.

Tue, 10/30/2012 - 17:12 | 2932767 SilverDOG
SilverDOG's picture

alien-IQ,

 

It is, that we are all in; the MATRIX.

 

"Round and Round" -RATT

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0u8teXR8VE4

Tue, 10/30/2012 - 16:22 | 2932625 Rick Blaine
Rick Blaine's picture

The title of this article should be "Disney Proves Beyond Any Possible Doubt That God Does Not Exist."

Tue, 10/30/2012 - 16:26 | 2932639 lolmao500
lolmao500's picture

That and Goldman Sachs and the NYSE surviving Sandy yeah... God is pretty much dead.

Tue, 10/30/2012 - 16:23 | 2932630 Neethgie
Neethgie's picture

Is lucas films even an entity?

certainly not worth that much, the last 3 starwars sucked and BADLY, go home lucas we wont let you rape any more movies!

Tue, 10/30/2012 - 16:28 | 2932650 Rick Blaine
Rick Blaine's picture

I agree 100% that the prequels sucked big time...

However, The Phantom Menace did pull in over $1B at the box office - worldwide, that is.

Then, besides the movies, factor in the video games, which are also owned by Lucasfilm...

Yes, the prequels made me want to kill myself, but that company is worth quite a bit, I think.

Tue, 10/30/2012 - 16:48 | 2932721 Overfed
Overfed's picture

The Wierd Al parody is awesome. Sums up the entire film in 5 and a half minutes, before he ever saw it. So, I guess one good thing did come of it.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hEcjgJSqSRU

Tue, 10/30/2012 - 16:44 | 2932705 Overfed
Overfed's picture

ILM

Wed, 10/31/2012 - 01:53 | 2933816 Rick Blaine
Rick Blaine's picture

Oh yeah...I forgot about ILM...

On geekish tangent - I swear the special effects in the first Jurassic Park (which I hate, btw...the book is way better) are better than those in the third one.

I just don't "get" that at all - the third one came out like 10 years later...

Tue, 10/30/2012 - 16:24 | 2932632 tawse57
tawse57's picture

Are the gay robots making a return?

I prefer the South Park George Lucas & Speilberg episodes.

Tue, 10/30/2012 - 16:24 | 2932634 slackrabbit
slackrabbit's picture

Wonder what they will do wiht Industrial Light and Magic considering they already have plenty of cheaper effects departments. Not to mention down-under and eastern block firms that can do it for a 4th the price.

Tue, 10/30/2012 - 16:45 | 2932649 Spastica Rex
Spastica Rex's picture

The best special effects are being made Uzbekistan, I've heard.

Tue, 10/30/2012 - 16:29 | 2932652 BLOTTO
BLOTTO's picture

Walt Disney (Freemason) meets George Lucas (Kabbalist)

.

The future society they have planned for us must be structured differently from what we all know now...

 

And what better way then at the youngest level through movies, music and 'entertainment.'

.

T

H

X

1

1

3

8

.

Buy...

Buy More...

Buy More Now and Be HAPPY!

-OMM

 

 

Tue, 10/30/2012 - 16:29 | 2932654 Kastorsky
Kastorsky's picture

God hates amerika

Tue, 10/30/2012 - 16:32 | 2932662 ShortTheUS
ShortTheUS's picture

The neandersheeple will eat this up. Episodes 8 and 9 will follow and if that does well, episodes -2, -1, and 0 if the prequel needs a pre-prequel.

Tue, 10/30/2012 - 16:46 | 2932715 otto skorzeny
otto skorzeny's picture

I'm guessing the "Good Guys" are taking on some space "terrorists" in a never-ending "War on Space Terror". I always kind of liked The Empire myself.

Tue, 10/30/2012 - 16:32 | 2932663 JustPrintMoreDuh
JustPrintMoreDuh's picture

As if modern civilization will still exist in 2015 ... 

Tue, 10/30/2012 - 17:34 | 2932847 Bobbyrib
Bobbyrib's picture

This is a good reason to hope it doesn't by 2015..

Tue, 10/30/2012 - 16:33 | 2932669 JPM Hater001
JPM Hater001's picture

Great, now I have to short Mickey Mouse...

Tue, 10/30/2012 - 16:36 | 2932680 slackrabbit
slackrabbit's picture

Start Wars sumed up in  50 seconds

http://youtu.be/1LWQB7jgF7I?t=5m

 

Tue, 10/30/2012 - 16:37 | 2932684 lolmao500
lolmao500's picture

Let Michael Bay direct it just for the lulz.

Tue, 10/30/2012 - 16:38 | 2932690 Killer the Buzzard
Killer the Buzzard's picture

Lando Carlrissian is the darkest Armenian I've ever seen.

Tue, 10/30/2012 - 16:41 | 2932696 Joe Davola
Joe Davola's picture

Is American Graffiti part of the deal?  The mooning scene had a major impact at my high school.

Tue, 10/30/2012 - 16:42 | 2932697 Thucydides
Thucydides's picture

Disney has already revealed that one of the major characters will be openly gay and that the transgender hero (heroine?) will challenge all of us to look closely at each of our own deeply flawed and Western-biased perceptions of sexuality.

Tue, 10/30/2012 - 16:43 | 2932700 lolmao500
lolmao500's picture

Well, this is Disney. There's probably gonna be a bunch of jew hating in there too... you know, to stay true to Walt Disney himself.

Tue, 10/30/2012 - 19:32 | 2933086 vix is for kids
vix is for kids's picture

A shot at Walt Disney?  What did he ever do to you? Was it Karen or Annette, the mousketeers, who didn't respond to your fan mail?

Tue, 10/30/2012 - 20:10 | 2933152 SDShack
SDShack's picture

Well that gives a new take on the Bar Scene. Can you imagine what it wlll be like now?

Tue, 10/30/2012 - 16:43 | 2932701 Dawnofinsanity
Dawnofinsanity's picture

The people are getting smarter... pointing at the algos... Distract with a new Star Wars!!!

The media moguls and banksters ride into the sunset!

Tue, 10/30/2012 - 17:01 | 2932755 Seorse Gorog fr...
Seorse Gorog from that Quantum Entanglement Fund. alright_.-'s picture

Maybe they can get an algo-droid to write the script this time.

Tue, 10/30/2012 - 20:17 | 2933168 Tijuana Donkey Show
Tijuana Donkey Show's picture

These are not the algo droids your looking for.

Tue, 10/30/2012 - 16:47 | 2932709 css1971
css1971's picture

Starwars is a franchise? Like MacDonalds?

You can pretend only the first three movies exist you know.

 

I need a vodka. Corporations really should die like real people. The definition of the spawn of utter mediocrity has to be the "executive".

Tue, 10/30/2012 - 17:05 | 2932768 Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture

Can you get an Ewok off the dollar menu?

Tue, 10/30/2012 - 17:16 | 2932800 Quinvarius
Quinvarius's picture

Yah.  But they are a lot smaller than they look in the movie trailers.

Tue, 10/30/2012 - 16:50 | 2932727 Scalaris
Scalaris's picture

Star Wars Episode VII: The Empire Strikes Oil (For the oil super-majors in Iraqi Kurdistan)

Star Wars Episode VIII: The Phantom Deleverage

Tue, 10/30/2012 - 16:51 | 2932732 ljag
ljag's picture

Best of the day. U guys need to burn a fatty and run through these responses...........its fucking hillarious! Thx

Tue, 10/30/2012 - 16:55 | 2932743 Miss Expectations
Miss Expectations's picture

Just when Mark Hamill has settled into playing Skips.

The only place that Star Wars still works is on Family Guy.

 

 

Tue, 10/30/2012 - 17:36 | 2932858 Bobbyrib
Bobbyrib's picture

I'm sorry, but those Family Guy adaptations were horrible.

Tue, 10/30/2012 - 20:18 | 2933171 Tijuana Donkey Show
Tijuana Donkey Show's picture

Dude, totally awesome. You have no soul.

Tue, 10/30/2012 - 17:06 | 2932770 I am a Man I am...
I am a Man I am Forty's picture

Lucas was the last of the independents, he made that movie about the black pilots that failed miserably (and used a bunch of his own money) so is finally calling it quits.

Tue, 10/30/2012 - 18:31 | 2932973 Ocynsoul
Ocynsoul's picture

ILM is the US standard for industry technical know-how (the lead passed to Cameron's studio). Lucas sees an industry bubble and is selling at the top. His retirement already announced, awating to see where that $4bn windfall lands; if he withdraws from the industry, deploys it in the US, or does a Cameron and looks overseas.

Tue, 10/30/2012 - 23:18 | 2933615 dogbreath
dogbreath's picture

Doesn't Lucas have an investment account with Madoff & Co

Tue, 10/30/2012 - 17:11 | 2932771 Seorse Gorog fr...
Seorse Gorog from that Quantum Entanglement Fund. alright_.-'s picture

Spaced on Star Wars...

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hUkCJDkG3fg

 

That is all.

 

(Already looking forward to the Special Edition, 4D, THX, director's cut, flip out Betamax box set with collector's edition comic strip)

Tue, 10/30/2012 - 17:12 | 2932790 Ignorance is bliss
Ignorance is bliss's picture

Has anyone gone to see "Cloud Atlas" ?

 

IMHO...if you have taken the red pill you will feel this movie. I think it will be a cult classic and was probably created and released by people similar to what we find on Zero Hedge.

Tue, 10/30/2012 - 17:21 | 2932791 Quinvarius
Quinvarius's picture

They should have waited until Lucas was dead and was unable to influence the movie.  After pumping Dune for ideas, he was pretty much done. 

Tue, 10/30/2012 - 20:12 | 2933160 SDShack
SDShack's picture

Oh God, Dune... what a complete joke of a sci fi movie. That looked like something out of the 50's. I still can't believe the overall plot... roaming the galaxy to get spice... which was nothing more than giant worm dung.

Tue, 10/30/2012 - 17:36 | 2932856 Downtoolong
Downtoolong's picture

STAR WARS: EPISODE 7 feature film targeted for release in 2015.

By which time everyone at Disney who ever had an original idea will be dead.

I just hope they don’t go the James Bond route and try to see how many product promo’s they can cram into each scene. If Darth Vader has an Apple or Facebook Logo anywhere on his costume, I’m going to be pissed.

Tue, 10/30/2012 - 17:38 | 2932863 Fix It Again Timmy
Fix It Again Timmy's picture

Why spend gazillions on special effects when you can do this:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FcArnepkhv0


Tue, 10/30/2012 - 18:18 | 2932948 adr
adr's picture

The movie will be called "Star Wars". As Luke is about to blow up the Death Star it is caught in a wormhole and sent back in time.

Instead of taking out the rebel base on Yavin the death star appears above Tatooine and blows it up. We find out this is just before Queen Amidala arrives with Obiwan and Qui Gon. They find a crashed X-wing fighter on a nearby moon with Luke inside.

Luke never knowing that Padme was actually his mother ends up falling in love with her. This sets up an epic setpiece later when Luke learns that he is his own father.

Tue, 10/30/2012 - 20:14 | 2933163 SDShack
SDShack's picture

That actually made my head hurt. Well done!

Wed, 10/31/2012 - 01:11 | 2933776 honestann
honestann's picture

That is EXACTLY what to expect if they assign JJAbrams to guide StarWars (or worse).  He already destroyed the entire StarTrek canon, and is just drooling at the possibility of destroying the entire StarWars canon.

Tue, 10/30/2012 - 18:34 | 2932983 BigInJapan
BigInJapan's picture

I don't see the problem. At least the franchise has a chance now, away from Lucas's hands.

Tue, 10/30/2012 - 18:39 | 2932993 falak pema
falak pema's picture

the matrix of industrial cultural repackaging that counts on hyper marketing to sell the same recurrent theme; terminator, diehard; you name it, as long as it makes money and keeps people in the same mental straight jacket which is the very function of the matrix; the exact opposite to original thinking and true star trekking like any true cultural age which breaks into new territory. 

If thought control and money making is the name of the game we stay in the Las Vegas type casino even when it comes to film making. Its not what the original Disney films were; I guess they are running out of good ideas.

Like the financial boys they only have "toxic" ones to offer, to keep their hold on power.

Tue, 10/30/2012 - 18:42 | 2933000 chump666
chump666's picture

Better be good.

Y'know violence, action and sex. 

Tue, 10/30/2012 - 18:59 | 2933033 HeavydutyMexica...
HeavydutyMexicanOfTheNorthernKingdom's picture

wow, he's calling a top right here

Tue, 10/30/2012 - 19:13 | 2933056 vix is for kids
vix is for kids's picture

American Idol and Dancing with the Stars are the usual examples of dumbed-down pop icons on these threads.  But to see Star Wars held in such high regard by so many readers, I now realize how even the most cynical of us can be drawn into fantasy and escapeism.

Tue, 10/30/2012 - 19:41 | 2933102 vix is for kids
vix is for kids's picture

I only saw the first Star Wars.  It was Roy Rodgers in space, good guys vs bad guys, and R2D2 playing jeep Nellie Belle for comic relief.

Tue, 10/30/2012 - 20:07 | 2933143 Clowns on Acid
Clowns on Acid's picture

If a washed up feckin' facsist film director's company is worth $4B, then what is an Oz of gold really worth ?

Tue, 10/30/2012 - 22:10 | 2933449 mharry
mharry's picture

After the last 3, who cares?

Tue, 10/30/2012 - 23:14 | 2933605 Weyland_Yutani
Weyland_Yutani's picture

Star Wars died in May 1999 when the piece of shit turd of a film "The Phantom Menace" was released. I was a huge Star Wars fan up till that point but after the prequels I couldn't give a shit about this franchise.

Tue, 10/30/2012 - 23:29 | 2933641 ebworthen
ebworthen's picture

What?  Are your "midi-chlorians" on their period or something?

Jar-Jar Binks is the deepest and most complex character in cinematic history!

(/sarc)

Wed, 10/31/2012 - 01:08 | 2933772 honestann
honestann's picture

Oh man!  You ain't seen nothing yet!

Tue, 10/30/2012 - 23:27 | 2933636 ebworthen
ebworthen's picture

Disney is the Goldman Sachs of entertainment.

Walt Disney is rolling over in his grave watching what Michael Eisner and the other Jew boys did to his company.

Wed, 10/31/2012 - 00:11 | 2933701 Oh regional Indian
Oh regional Indian's picture

Disney was a propagandist for the elite.

Now (and for a long while), Disney movies sexualize and confuse little children.

Just another American caricature/cut-out hero whose true history might never be known but his impact in the general fall, all around is/will be felt for ever.

I hope he is enjoying his stay in hades, for he surely, as much as anyone in Hollywood, made THE faustian bargain.

ori

Tue, 10/30/2012 - 23:41 | 2933661 Misean
Misean's picture

I've got a bad feeling about this...

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XnE8RitIN4s

Wed, 10/31/2012 - 00:26 | 2933727 Joseph Jones
Joseph Jones's picture

Liam Neeson only reads in his lines in every performance I know of.  To say he can't act is an understatement.

When you become familiar with the influence of Rabbis in modern culture, you see it almost everwhere.  In the first of the prequels the entire first section (I turned it off pretty early) was another of Rabbincial Sacrament honoring institutionalized Jewish victimhood, with references to Nazi hate of the always victimized Jews, God's chosenites chosen by race, not grace. 

I believe the fact that Neeson made this ode to Jews is the primary reason for all the glorification of Neeson's wife when she died, another absolutely talentless "personality".  Payback by Rabbis for honoring them and elevating their racist idealogy.   

I can not believe the abject constant abuse Germans take by these God forsaken scum Rabbis (the murderers of Christ) over the past 70+ years.  It will never end because the Rabbis get so much constant mileage out of it. 

Wed, 10/31/2012 - 01:07 | 2933766 honestann
honestann's picture

If those morons get JJAbrams involved with StarWars, I will PUKE.  He has destroyed enough, already!  Somehow, I can't imagine the stories for future Star Wars episodes will mesh properly with the existing story line and the StarWars universe.  So oh yes, "I have a very bad feeling about this".

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