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Comic Interlude: Mark Cuban Vs Donald Trump

Tyler Durden's picture


By now we are confident that everyone is sick to death and beyond of listening about elections, polling, conditional probabilities, permutations, (confusing) statistical sampling and heuristics, and all those other things that the vast majority of the population fail in STAT 101 yet somehow end up as experts in during cocktail hour, on TV, on Op-Ed columns and, of course, on twitter. Which is why we are delighted to bring you this comic interlude. Presenting Donald "The Hairpiece" Trump vs Mark "Avion Tequila" Cuban.

It all started with this:

And then quickly got out of hand - and by out of hand we mean a Donald Trump self-promotional circus... because nobody would expect anything less, or more.



















* * *

And so on.

Because this, ladies and gents, is how some people spend their time...


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Mon, 11/05/2012 - 18:33 | 2950026 walcott
walcott's picture

Trump winning!

Mon, 11/05/2012 - 18:35 | 2950034 otto skorzeny
otto skorzeny's picture

at what? being the bigger bloviating idiot?

Mon, 11/05/2012 - 18:43 | 2950066 Hedgetard55
Hedgetard55's picture

The Donald kicked ass and took Cuban's name.


BTW, how does someone get to be such a huge tub of lard as Chris Christie? Man, how much do you have to chow down every day to get that fat? Did he ever look in the mirror and say to himself "Oh Shit, I am a big fucking tub of lard"?

Mon, 11/05/2012 - 19:44 | 2950257 Flakmeister
Flakmeister's picture

Christie's wife looks like she was once beat with a sack of quarters....

Mon, 11/05/2012 - 21:21 | 2950504 flacon
flacon's picture

I've never even heard of Marq Qban.

Mon, 11/05/2012 - 21:26 | 2950510 Harlequin001
Harlequin001's picture

Why would you donate a million dollars to Sandy? The US will just print it anyway.

You might as well save your cash...

Mon, 11/05/2012 - 23:35 | 2950819 Precious
Precious's picture

Somebody buy these stupid fuckers a land line.

Tue, 11/06/2012 - 03:21 | 2951101 redpill
redpill's picture

Twitter: turning what would be a typical drunken bar shit talk into unbelievably juvenile public embarassment.

Hey Mouth & Comb-over, the reason there are dividers between urinals is that no one wants to see your pissing match.

Tue, 11/06/2012 - 04:45 | 2951137 James_Cole
James_Cole's picture

Whys everyone complaining? Watching those two guys go at it is hilarious stuff. 

I'm all for Cuban, he's a self-made man. Trump is a born-rich career fuck up who's been bankrupt multiple times. 

Let the twitter battle rage on!

Mon, 11/05/2012 - 20:17 | 2950353 NuYawkFrankie
NuYawkFrankie's picture

Chris Krispy Kreme Christie

Mon, 11/05/2012 - 20:27 | 2950369 vas deferens
vas deferens's picture

Christie eats at Sammy's Steakhouse in Mendham NJ at least twice a week.  They are famous for their lemon butter sauce. 

Fat slob Chris Christie specials...

  • 2 Loin Veal Chops with Mushroom Lemon Butter Sauce...48.00.
  • 2 Double Cut loin Lamb Chops...50.00.
  • Shrimp Scampi Sammy's Style...34.00. 

Mon, 11/05/2012 - 22:58 | 2950743 Ident 7777 economy
Ident 7777 economy's picture



" They are famous for their lemon butter sauce. "


Oh, so it's the lemon butter sauce that does it ...

Mon, 11/05/2012 - 23:01 | 2950747 Raymond Reason
Raymond Reason's picture

Christie is prepping for hard times, using body fat as a calorie storage apparatus. 

Mon, 11/05/2012 - 19:04 | 2950099 bigdumbnugly
bigdumbnugly's picture

this is entertainment worthy of watching awhile.

pass the grey poupon please?

Mon, 11/05/2012 - 18:49 | 2950076 vast-dom
vast-dom's picture

Douchebag Times Two To The Nth.



Mon, 11/05/2012 - 18:58 | 2950108 prains
prains's picture

Sploush vs Douche


needless time and expense given to two turds who need a good cosmic flush

Mon, 11/05/2012 - 19:06 | 2950137 Cruel Aid
Cruel Aid's picture

Double douchebags. Cuban and Jerry Jones are embarrasments to Texas.

I won't read this irrelevant non comedic twitter crap.

Tue, 11/06/2012 - 00:44 | 2950957 merizobeach
merizobeach's picture

And Texas is an embarrassment to humanity.  Microcosm, meet macrocosm.

Mon, 11/05/2012 - 18:36 | 2950037 I am a Man I am...
I am a Man I am Forty's picture

Cuban drew first blood, can't leave at this.  Must come back with full force.  Stay powerful Mark, don't be a pussy, let him have it, it's soooooo easy.

Mon, 11/05/2012 - 18:37 | 2950044 kaiserhoff
kaiserhoff's picture

Real men don't tweet.

Mon, 11/05/2012 - 18:39 | 2950049 VonManstein
VonManstein's picture


Mon, 11/05/2012 - 21:59 | 2950589 Cow
Cow's picture

Roger. Roger

Mon, 11/05/2012 - 18:41 | 2950062 otto skorzeny
otto skorzeny's picture

agreed- I ask myself-would Butkus tweet?

Mon, 11/05/2012 - 19:20 | 2950183 i_call_you_my_base
i_call_you_my_base's picture

WWBD is going to be my new motto.

Mon, 11/05/2012 - 19:22 | 2950189 Skateboarder
Skateboarder's picture

Real men don't facebook either. And the realer men don't own phones. And the realerer men don't own computers.

Mon, 11/05/2012 - 23:12 | 2950774 Raymond Reason
Raymond Reason's picture

They sure as hell don't view porn.

Tue, 11/06/2012 - 01:42 | 2951028 Tijuana Donkey Show
Tijuana Donkey Show's picture

Yes they do, but they ACTUALLY get laid. 

Mon, 11/05/2012 - 18:43 | 2950057 otto skorzeny
otto skorzeny's picture

I would contribute to the charity of the winner of a duel between these idiots with these old French 18th century duelling pistols I have in my office. .50 caliber round ball lead shot leaves a nice hole.

Mon, 11/05/2012 - 19:29 | 2950216 LasVegasDave
LasVegasDave's picture

you have a job?

Mon, 11/05/2012 - 22:26 | 2950662 californiagirl
californiagirl's picture


Mon, 11/05/2012 - 20:03 | 2950319 Overfed
Overfed's picture

It would be even better if it were between Ro-money and O'bomb-a.

Mon, 11/05/2012 - 19:01 | 2950063 Yen Cross
Yen Cross's picture

 Wanabe, Rockefeller & Vanderbuilt going at it 2012 style ... LMAO

Mon, 11/05/2012 - 18:42 | 2950064 Banksters
Banksters's picture

Jackoffs, both of them.

Mon, 11/05/2012 - 18:43 | 2950065 JustPrintMoreDuh
JustPrintMoreDuh's picture

Pair of fucktards.

Mon, 11/05/2012 - 18:44 | 2950067 ImnotPOTUS
ImnotPOTUS's picture


Quadruple the offer with the caveat that You shave his head while Colbert dips his pair of peabodys into Trumps mouth.

Mon, 11/05/2012 - 18:48 | 2950075 WhiteNight123129
WhiteNight123129's picture

WTF is that??

Mon, 11/05/2012 - 18:54 | 2950091 ImnotPOTUS
ImnotPOTUS's picture

FYI: Colbert offered the TRUMP a similar challenge to donate to charity. $1,000,000 if he could dip his twins into the Donalds mouth. Thereby finally creating a beneficial use for the Trumps mouth.

Mon, 11/05/2012 - 18:50 | 2950081 lolmao500
lolmao500's picture

Well of course, billionaires have only one thing left to worry about and it's their ego.

Mon, 11/05/2012 - 18:51 | 2950087 Spitzer
Spitzer's picture

What a couple of get rich by accident dip shits.

Talk real fucking money. 10 to 15 million.

The percentages these fags are talking about is like a regular person betting $300

Mon, 11/05/2012 - 23:01 | 2950748 Ident 7777 economy
Ident 7777 economy's picture



Yeah, unlike YOU who inherited it all from mommy's side of the family ... can you say Kerry?

Mon, 11/05/2012 - 18:54 | 2950089 WhiteNight123129
WhiteNight123129's picture

Ok... this is soo bad... going back to read Plato and Popper and Fullarton.... If the TV networks continue like that there are going to be more and more people very well versed in my subjects... out of desperation while glimpsing at the pathetic show of stupidity displayed as a badge of "being cool".

Mon, 11/05/2012 - 18:53 | 2950094 pragmatic hobo
pragmatic hobo's picture

fucking douchbags ...

Mon, 11/05/2012 - 18:56 | 2950101 JustObserving
JustObserving's picture

Colbert's offer to Trump was much better - and more entertaining:

Mon, 11/05/2012 - 18:56 | 2950103 Whoa Dammit
Whoa Dammit's picture

Great reader comment from the NY Post about another rich guy's subway ride today:

"SO Bloomberg, aka Napoleon's Mini-Me, the ridiculous little man that he is, took the train flanked by his ARMED bodyguards did he? As a reminder folks, just last week, the midget-in-chief told reporters that he didn't want the National Guard on the streets of New York because they have guns. Never mind that the National Guard has a proven track record of providing invaluable help after natural disasters, and that the people of Staten Island, the Rockaways and Coney Island need all the help they can get. No sir, Bloomturd, who walks around protected by burly men packing heat, wanted to deny New Yorkers in need the chance of aid from the National Guard because they are armed and he has a problem with weapons (except when they're protecting him). You horrible little knee-high POS, it doesn't matter how many subway photo-ops you make, the people of this city will still despise you. God I cannot wait until this jerk retires to the nursing home where he belongs."

Mon, 11/05/2012 - 19:00 | 2950112 Yen Cross
Yen Cross's picture

 Avion Tequilla is complete shit. They don't own any "blue agave" fields or distilleries. Some Lad(probably Chinese) saw the fictitious name "Avion" on the show "Entourage", and payed a bottler to make the crap for him.

Mon, 11/05/2012 - 19:00 | 2950116 Essential Nexus
Essential Nexus's picture

Trump is asking for a pie in the face.

Mon, 11/05/2012 - 19:45 | 2950250 Whalley World
Whalley World's picture

I would rather eat pie, than Colber'st balls

Mon, 11/05/2012 - 19:03 | 2950120 californiagirl
californiagirl's picture

If these Morons have a million dollars to throw around over stupid hair, why don't they shut up and both donate one million to the hurricane Sandy victims. Same goes for Colbert!  A few million can buy a lot of generators.


Mon, 11/05/2012 - 19:05 | 2950132 Yen Cross
Yen Cross's picture

Cuban already commited 1m to Sandy. That is what the premise(Trump shaving his head) of the lovers quarrel between them is about.

Mon, 11/05/2012 - 22:28 | 2950671 californiagirl
californiagirl's picture

Yes. But they could use the money now. 

Mon, 11/05/2012 - 19:11 | 2950150 Flakmeister
Flakmeister's picture

These guys wouldn't last 5 minutes here at Fight Club....

Mon, 11/05/2012 - 19:20 | 2950185 johnnymustardseed
johnnymustardseed's picture

I will cherish the day the rich lose all in the collapse of the fiat. I feel sorry for the poor who will have to listen to these assholes begging for food

Mon, 11/05/2012 - 19:22 | 2950188 Eternal Complainer
Eternal Complainer's picture

Typical narcissitc freaks.
Example of everything thats fucked up and wrong with the globalist pigmen agenda.
These two lowlifes near the top of the ladder.

Die a horrible cruel death!

Mon, 11/05/2012 - 19:22 | 2950190 Random_Robert
Random_Robert's picture

Maybe Trump should offer to shave his head, in lieu of the 5M originally offered, if Obama will release his college records...

Mon, 11/05/2012 - 19:28 | 2950212 TheCanadianAustrian
TheCanadianAustrian's picture

Shark Tank is homogonized, semi-scripted, overproduced Ameritrash. Kevin O'Leary is the nicest person on the show, which is a pretty disturbing thought. Watch a few clips of Dragon's Den (British or Canadian). That show has class and character.

Mon, 11/05/2012 - 21:33 | 2950518 tom a taxpayer
tom a taxpayer's picture

TV writer pitching a new program: Here it is in a nutshell.  Program title: "WHO IS THE BIGGER ARSEHOLE: Donald Trump or Mark Cuban?"

Executive Producer No. 1: So, this is a reality show?

TV writer/pitch man: Yep. Super Reality. Maybe we call it "WHO IS THE SUPER ARSEHOLE: Donald Trump or Mark Cuban?"

Executive Producer No. 2: Why the British "ARSEHOLE"?

TV writer/pitch man: Because we want Simon Cowell, the complete arsehole, to MC.


Mon, 11/05/2012 - 19:29 | 2950215 ThisIsBob
ThisIsBob's picture

I wish Sara Palin would get involved in this.

Mon, 11/05/2012 - 19:32 | 2950222 Flakmeister
Flakmeister's picture

No you don;t....

BTW, you forgot something.....

Mon, 11/05/2012 - 19:47 | 2950268 ImnotPOTUS
ImnotPOTUS's picture

Maybe she can take up Colberts offer.

Mon, 11/05/2012 - 19:48 | 2950274 Itch
Itch's picture

The Animal cruelty brigade would be outraged; killing squirrels is not ok.

Mon, 11/05/2012 - 20:31 | 2950340 NuYawkFrankie
NuYawkFrankie's picture

You might feel like tellin' Mark to go stick his Cuban where the Sun don't shine.... but Donald - don't Duck outta this offer


Mon, 11/05/2012 - 20:46 | 2950428 NeedleDickTheBu...
NeedleDickTheBugFucker's picture

Twitter = 500 MM self-absorbed people wrongly assuming that the other 6.5 billion on the planet give a flying fuck what these twits have to tweet.

Mon, 11/05/2012 - 21:01 | 2950458 lunaticfringe
lunaticfringe's picture

I threw both of these brainiacs under the bus already.

Mon, 11/05/2012 - 21:36 | 2950527 drchris
drchris's picture

Wow, Trump actually has a huge opportunity to redeem himself and blows it.  Make Cuban put up $5 million and shave your head like a man.  Then you can tell everyone to STFU.

Mon, 11/05/2012 - 21:37 | 2950528 drchris
drchris's picture


Mon, 11/05/2012 - 21:39 | 2950537 Taint Boil
Taint Boil's picture



Now I remember why I canceled the twit account. How can anyone listen to this crap. Never caught any of the shows they mention .... but again, I don't watch TV.

Mon, 11/05/2012 - 22:06 | 2950607 CCanuck
CCanuck's picture

Hey Tylers,

Why not leave this Entertainment World Sandbox Shit for TMZ to cover

Stick to the real news, reading that shit just made me dumm..stewpid...retartit...awwwllll fucked up!!!!


Mon, 11/05/2012 - 22:10 | 2950618 mogul rider
mogul rider's picture

500,000 people are starving and freezing tonight and these pricks tweet like two tired hookers on valium.


Shame on you you fuckers

Tue, 11/06/2012 - 00:17 | 2950917 Ident 7777 economy
Ident 7777 economy's picture



Who started it? Blame him and leave the other alone ... alone I tell ya ...

Mon, 11/05/2012 - 22:22 | 2950652 nah
nah's picture

i dont give a shit about mark cuban

Tue, 11/06/2012 - 00:31 | 2950943 JuicedGamma
JuicedGamma's picture

Fuck Twitter. Fuck Mark Cuban. And Fuck the Donald.

And that's the way it is Nov 5, 2012.

Tue, 11/06/2012 - 08:39 | 2951288 desiguel
desiguel's picture

You've assumed that it's really them conversing. In reality it's probably min wage staffers paid to promo their employer... by trolling each other and having the exchange posted they then succeed. I could suggest not to read this shite.. but that would be the pot calling the kettle black.

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