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"State Dismissed" - The Hourly Guide To Tonight's Electoral College Closing Times

Tyler Durden's picture


T minus 7 hours. That is how long until both all important Florida and Ohio polls close. As previously explained, whoever gets these two states will almost certainly carry the election, which means that by 8pm Eastern, the marginal votes will be in, and shortly thereafter one after another media organization and network will begin calling both these two states, and the election, for either the Democrats or the GOP (at which point the litigation and recount demands can begin). The complete guide to the closing times of the polls in assorted East to West states, together with their respective seats in the electoral college, is shown below, although it is likely that long before California polling is even concluded the next president will already be known.

Source: Washington Post

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Tue, 11/06/2012 - 14:23 | 2952477 CharlieSDT
CharlieSDT's picture

I want to address something that people say a lot when I suggest to them that they vote for third party candidate. This shit drives me nuts.

” I don’t want to waste my vote so I’m going to vote for the guy that’s not as bad as the other guy.”

Newsflash to you dude, you suck. This kind of thinking is there reason why america is in such deep shit right now. Our political leaders have been getting shittier and shittier for years and years and Americans have been too lazy to hold them accountable or even to actually expect half way decent governments from these so called “leaders”.

Voting for the “lesser of two evils” is repugnant, intellectually lazy, stupid and morally decrepit. The whole point of democracy and voting in the first place is to demand a candidate you believe in. If anything is wasting a vote it’s voting for someone you term as “the lesser of two evils”. How about a new rule: “Don’t vote for evil, dumbasses!”

So let’s get to our endorsement: No honest, intelligent, sane person can say with a straight face that Gary Johnson doesn’t make more sense than the two clowns Obama and Romney given the current situation in the US. 


Tue, 11/06/2012 - 14:27 | 2952486 Temporis
Temporis's picture

Wake me when the second American Civil War starts...

Tue, 11/06/2012 - 14:30 | 2952499 tsx500
tsx500's picture

...shouldn't be too long i'm afraid

Tue, 11/06/2012 - 14:34 | 2952501 TruthInSunshine
TruthInSunshine's picture
Tired of Bronco Bamma and Mitt Romney - YouTube


I couldn't say it any better than the (curently) first comment posted, so I'll just quote that person:

"This is how we all feel inside, every single day. Let's hurry up and vote the next Anti-christ into office so we can get on with our lives."

Tue, 11/06/2012 - 14:35 | 2952520 francis_sawyer
francis_sawyer's picture

I was a lonely teenage Bronco-in buck

With a pink carnation & a pickup truck

But I knew I was outta luck, the day

The music died...

Tue, 11/06/2012 - 14:38 | 2952530 TruthInSunshine
TruthInSunshine's picture

Did you drive your post-pre-packaged bankruptcy Korean made Chevy to the levee also?

Tue, 11/06/2012 - 14:43 | 2952547 francis_sawyer
francis_sawyer's picture

It was a Chevy Volt... The 'levee' was dry... The car caught fire & burned up...


& as the flames climbed high into the night

to moonlight the sacrificial rite

I saw Satan laughing with delight...

Tue, 11/06/2012 - 14:49 | 2952566 TruthInSunshine
TruthInSunshine's picture

...Could've been worse.

...Could've drowned/burned inside your it-lights-itself-and-burns-while-submerged-in-water Fisker Karma.

Tue, 11/06/2012 - 14:53 | 2952599 francis_sawyer
francis_sawyer's picture

I'd have to consult Mary Jo Kopechne on the relative ins & outs on that one, but she's not around...

Tue, 11/06/2012 - 16:50 | 2953068 AldousHuxley
AldousHuxley's picture

typical American parent.....


crybabies tired of election? Did any of them spend more hours on candidates' positions than video games and nightly TV?


well, they can move to North Korea where there is only one candidate last 50 years.

OR Thailand where King = CEO = President

OR Russia where President has to report back to Vladmir on all important matters.


choice = freedom

false choice = fake freedom, but still better than a fucking dictator!


kids cry when you take them to disneyland




Tue, 11/06/2012 - 16:58 | 2953107 francis_sawyer
francis_sawyer's picture

Are you trying to insinuate there's a difference between...

N KOREA/SIAM/RUSSIA vs. the The People's Republic of the United Soviet Sociaslist States of America?

What kind of hack political scientist are you anyway?

Tue, 11/06/2012 - 18:15 | 2953338 phyuckyiu
phyuckyiu's picture

Holy Shite, no wonder everyone hates California so much, the gorilla is loose, this graphic says alot.

Tue, 11/06/2012 - 14:39 | 2952522 hedgeless_horseman
hedgeless_horseman's picture



A vote for Gary Johnson is not a vote for Obama.  

It is not a vote for Romney.  

It is a vote for Gary Johnson.

 A is not B.

A is A.

Tue, 11/06/2012 - 14:39 | 2952536 crusty curmudgeon
crusty curmudgeon's picture

"A is A"

You sure would make a horrible politician.

Tue, 11/06/2012 - 14:43 | 2952559 redpill
redpill's picture

Eeep you can't vote for A!  A will take your social security/steal your vagina/kill gay people or something!  Look over there, shiny!  Just don't vote A!


Tue, 11/06/2012 - 14:47 | 2952569 ceilidh_trail
ceilidh_trail's picture

Hell, I cannot even vote. My precint in Northern Kentucky ran out of ballots! 3000+ registered voters and they only sent 500 ballots. It happens to be a heavily republican rural area of Kenton county. No problems in the urban, northern half of the county, only here. Mind you, Kentucky is run by a democrat administration. Corrupt? Naaah... They say I can come back in a few hours. You cannot make this s$@t up. The good news is the local tv station (wlwt) gave me a few minutes air time to spout off. WE HAVE TO HOLD THEM ACCOUNTABLE!

Tue, 11/06/2012 - 14:55 | 2952609 climber
climber's picture

any truth to this

Tue, 11/06/2012 - 15:07 | 2952663 ceilidh_trail
ceilidh_trail's picture

I do not post much. When I do, it is accurate. Hickory Grove Church, Nicholson, Ky. You can Google it later when it is on evening news. And yes, I am going back to vote in an hour or so. They said they had to send a driver to Lexington to get more ballots. About an hour each way. Once you sign in, you cannot step out of line, hence, I took my daughter home and will return to wait it out. Am I pissed? Yes.

Tue, 11/06/2012 - 15:11 | 2952671 climber
climber's picture

I would be too. Make your voice heard!

Tue, 11/06/2012 - 18:22 | 2953352 Harbanger
Harbanger's picture

You may have already voted in Chicago and not even know it.

Tue, 11/06/2012 - 15:03 | 2952650 Orly
Orly's picture

Northern Kentucky is a beautiful place!


Well, you know what?  Go home, get some water bottles and a sandwhich, fifteen of your friends and y'all show back up at that place.  You wait and you wait and you wait.  As long as necessary.

And then if things are not to your satisfaction, you file a protest with the local voting board and be as loud as you need to be in order to get your voice heard.

Democrats don't have a lock-down on being loud when they feel they've been wronged.  Don't give up!


Tue, 11/06/2012 - 15:09 | 2952667 ceilidh_trail
ceilidh_trail's picture

Amen, brother. I am going back. It is my one day to be boss and hold these guys accountable.

Tue, 11/06/2012 - 17:29 | 2953223 ceilidh_trail
ceilidh_trail's picture

Mission accomplished. I wonder how many others won't come back?

Tue, 11/06/2012 - 15:10 | 2952673 OpenEyes
OpenEyes's picture

I just got back from voting (NY, Manhattan 90th).  l voted for Gary Johnson and for every possible candidate who was neither Republican or Democrat.  

HOWEVER, several races were rigged for example;  there were 4 candidates for state supreme court justice, you had to vote for 4, ALL 4 were Democrats.  A little further down the ballot, there were 2 candidates for state appellate court justice, you had to vote for one but, on closer inspection, BOTH candidates Rebublican and Democrat were the SAME DAMN PERSON!  Geez, I mean you literally had NO choice at all..   

Tue, 11/06/2012 - 17:57 | 2953290 redeals
redeals's picture

And they let you vote in NYC? Amazing!

Tue, 11/06/2012 - 14:33 | 2952510 Mr Lennon Hendrix
Mr Lennon Hendrix's picture

They are canceling "Dancing with the Stars"? 

Oh shit!  America will be pissed!

Seriously, that is the only way I see riots happening.  As long as people can watch the Boobtube they will lie on their couches rotting from the head.

Tue, 11/06/2012 - 14:42 | 2952548 crusty curmudgeon
crusty curmudgeon's picture

Do not worry.  Another dose of SOMA, er, American Idol, will be delivered soon.

Tue, 11/06/2012 - 14:32 | 2952509 crusty curmudgeon
crusty curmudgeon's picture

When was the first civil war?  Oh, you mean the war between the states.

“But if thought corrupts language, language can also corrupt thought.” —George Orwell

Tue, 11/06/2012 - 14:44 | 2952555 Temporis
Temporis's picture

here ya go...


The American Civil War (1861–1865), in the United States often referred to as simply the Civil War and sometimes called the "War Between the States"

Tue, 11/06/2012 - 14:57 | 2952600 crusty curmudgeon
crusty curmudgeon's picture

Dig deeper.  I'm not talking about mere semantics here.  Thus the Orwell quote.

There is a reason it was and is inaccurately referred to as the "civil war." 

Tue, 11/06/2012 - 14:58 | 2952621 kridkrid
kridkrid's picture

Come on... We all like to hear ourselves talk around here... Give it to us.

Tue, 11/06/2012 - 15:16 | 2952678 crusty curmudgeon
crusty curmudgeon's picture

A civil war implies two factions are battling for control of the whole.  The war between the states was nothing of the sort.

The "free and independent states" (borrowing the phrase from the Declaration of Independence) joined together VOLUNTARILY and, as was widely recognized and accepted, had the right to peacefully secede.  That is, it was widely recognized before the worst president (at least up until Wilson) wouldn't let the South secede.

As the President of the Confederacy (elected 151 years ago today) said it: "All we ask is to be let alone."  -- Jefferson Davis

But history, as we all know, is written by the victors.

Tue, 11/06/2012 - 15:27 | 2952712 crusty curmudgeon
crusty curmudgeon's picture

Oh, and while I'm standing on my soap box, for those who think Lincoln was opposed to slavery, you ought to learn some history (or unlearn the public education version).

Just a guess, but I'm betting the new movie will further the "official" (victor's version) of Lincoln.

Tue, 11/06/2012 - 15:33 | 2952744 pods
pods's picture

I saw a preview for that a couple days ago. Certainly going to be a statist flick.

My guess is it will be all about slavery, and nothing about tariffs.  Will be surprised if old Abe makes his statement about armies in front and banksters behind him and who he fears more.


Tue, 11/06/2012 - 18:06 | 2953319 odatruf
odatruf's picture

You nailed it. The south was 100% right on the state's rights / succession issue and 100% wrong on slavery. And, not that they owed the north anything, but leaving would leave remaining states worse off. So, might eventually made right.


Tue, 11/06/2012 - 15:00 | 2952628 pods
pods's picture

Yep, more like "If you try and leave I am going to beat the hell out of you, then I will let you make me dinner, and then maybe I am going to let you have sex with me."

Between the war and reconstruction, that about sums it up I think.


Tue, 11/06/2012 - 14:57 | 2952617 aheady
aheady's picture

In the South, it is still frequently referred to as "The Late Unpleasantness".

Tue, 11/06/2012 - 14:59 | 2952629 crusty curmudgeon
crusty curmudgeon's picture

I recently saw a 19th century cannon with an engraving referring to it as "The War of the Southern Rebellion."

Tue, 11/06/2012 - 15:03 | 2952649 aheady
aheady's picture

Yes, and up north - "The War of Southern Aggression".

Tue, 11/06/2012 - 16:19 | 2952975 FrankDrakman
FrankDrakman's picture

And I believe, in some circles, it's still referred to as "The War of Northern Aggression".

Tue, 11/06/2012 - 15:36 | 2952754 Overfed
Overfed's picture

It's like joining a gang. Gettin' in is easy. Getting out alive is difficult.

Tue, 11/06/2012 - 14:56 | 2952615 Gully Foyle
Gully Foyle's picture

Militant: Dig it, dope peddler. We're out here building a new nation for black people. It's time for you to start payin some dues, nigga!
Youngblood Priest: I ain't givin' you shit! I'll tell you what you do, you go get you a gun and all those black folks you keep doin' so much talkin' about get guns, and come back ready to go down, then I'll be right down front killin' whitey. But until you can do that, you go sing your marching songs some place else. Now we're through talkin'.


[Black Dynamite walks into the militant group's hideout]
Black Dynamite: Excuse me, brothers.
Militant #3: [Gets up] The militants turn, startled. This is private. How'd you get in here?
Black Dynamite: I walked in.
Militant 2: So you one of them sneaky brothers, huh? Or maybe you an undercover pig. Or maybe you just a federal hitman.
Black Dynamite: If I was, you cats would already be dead. Now let me speak to the man in charge.
Militant #3: Sarcastically, I'm in charge.
[Exchanges hi-fives with the other militant]
Black Dynamite: If you were in charge, the people might as well surrender to whitey right now, because your survival skills ain't worth a damn.
Saheed: Black Dynamite.
[Walks into the room]
Saheed: It's been a long time, my brother.
Black Dynamite: [Exchanging hi-fives with Saheed] What it is, Saheed?
Militant 2: You know this Uncle Tom?
Black Dynamite: Listen sucka, I'm blacker than the ace of spades and more militant than you and your whole damn army put together. While you out there, chanting at rallies and brow-beating politicians, I'm taking out any money-fronting sucka on a humble that gets in my way. So I tell you what, when your so called revolution starts, you call me, and I'll be right down front showing you how it's done. But until then, you need to SHUT the FUCK UP when grown folks is talking.
Militant 2: I'm sorry.
Saheed: Yeah, we heard about what went down at the Hip Pocket. That was righteous.
Black Dynamite: That was personal, brother.
Saheed: Personal or not, you saved a lot of brothers and sisters. You need our help,
[pounds chest with right fist]
Saheed: we're here.
Black Dynamite: I can dig it.
[Black Dynamite pulls the bullet casing from his pocket]
Black Dynamite: What can you tell me about this?
[Saheed takes the casing, sniffs the inside for gunpowder and licks the outer casing]
Saheed: I ain't seen one of these in a while.
[Black Dynamite and Saheed walk out of the room]
Militant 2: [Whispers] I was gonna fuck him up.

Tue, 11/06/2012 - 15:00 | 2952630 TruthInSunshine
Tue, 11/06/2012 - 14:28 | 2952488 redpill
redpill's picture

Poor Alaska.  No wonder they don't do anything except sit around and get blind drunk.  Of course the it's-going-to-be-nighttime-for-so-long-I-will-want-to-shoot-myself is a good reason too.


I wrote in Ron Paul.   I'm sure that in the post-election math neither would mind having the votes for them lumped together as a measure for the state of the liberty movement.

Tue, 11/06/2012 - 14:46 | 2952570 TeamDepends
TeamDepends's picture

We fought hard for him last time, and would write him in if we were in a state that was without question going for Obama.  However, since we are in a swing state we are going to hold our nose and vote against Mr. "Islam has ALWAYS been a part of America".  grinds teeth

Tue, 11/06/2012 - 15:16 | 2952691 Orly
Orly's picture

Totally disagree...so bring it.

Ron Paul gave up; completely sold out to the establishment so that his son could have a life-long senate seat next to our old friend Mitch McConnell in a state to which he'd never been.  Born of an obsetrician in League City, Texas, senator from the great state of Kentucky.  How on earth did that happen?  You figure it out.

Hey, we all want the best for our kids, right?

What a shame.


Tue, 11/06/2012 - 15:23 | 2952708 TeamDepends
TeamDepends's picture

Were you there when they threatened to rape then murder his family in front of him?

Tue, 11/06/2012 - 16:01 | 2952895 TeamDepends
TeamDepends's picture

Orly, how many fingers are we holding up?

Tue, 11/06/2012 - 15:43 | 2952800 Being Free
Being Free's picture

Orly, no big deal but it was Lake Jackson, Texas not League City.  I only mention it because Lake Jackson was home for many years so gotta boost the old stompin' grounds, not many opportunities!

Tue, 11/06/2012 - 15:56 | 2952869 redpill
redpill's picture

Incidentally, what more do you think he could have done that he did not do with tireless dedication over the last few decades.

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