Gasoline Rationing Comes To New York

Tyler Durden's picture


From the mayor who made owning an 18oz+ container of coke a summary offense, comes this:


In case anyone gets any ideas, the NYPD will be there to enforce counting skills:


Finally, so solly, but no tickee, no gasee

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Thu, 11/08/2012 - 16:51 | 2961945 malikai
malikai's picture

Time to get out those spare plates folks.

Thu, 11/08/2012 - 16:57 | 2961981 francis_sawyer
francis_sawyer's picture

John Corzine & friends ought to be 'making' license plates...

Thu, 11/08/2012 - 17:03 | 2962015 hedgeless_horseman
hedgeless_horseman's picture






There has never been a better time
to buy or lease a new GM!

Hurry now to your nearest GM dealer
before inventories increase even more!


2013 GM Yukon Denali AWD
403 HP
13 CTY / 18 HWY

Nicely equipped with a giant fucking gas tank for only


Easy credit available through Ally Bank!

On*Star tracking and cabin recording included free for 6 months,
then you pay to be tracked and recorded.

Thu, 11/08/2012 - 17:03 | 2962031 malikai
malikai's picture

It's too bad they didn't show the accompanying picture of the angry mob attacking and robbing Mrs. Big outside of the store.

Thu, 11/08/2012 - 17:06 | 2962051 Dr. Sandi
Dr. Sandi's picture

I swear Mrs. Big looks just like Sheriff Taylor's Aunt Bea. She's probably buying extra cans of dog food for little Opie.

Thu, 11/08/2012 - 17:15 | 2962103 Dr. Sandi
Dr. Sandi's picture

Thinking about it though, WITHOUT rationing, 6 cans of mystery food were purchased by hungry eaters. WITH rationing, only 2 cans went home with lucky shoppers.

Who eats the other 4 cans of mystery food?

Oh, wait. I'll bet they're donated to the BLACK MARKET'S annual food drive.

Thu, 11/08/2012 - 17:28 | 2962145 hedgeless_horseman
hedgeless_horseman's picture



With rationing everybody gets to wait in line more often for less, versus waiting in line less often for more.  See?  Much better.

Get long fuel tanks.

Thu, 11/08/2012 - 17:29 | 2962175 max2205
max2205's picture

what if my plates reads  BITCH!!

Thu, 11/08/2012 - 17:33 | 2962196 NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture

That's a Tazing!

Thu, 11/08/2012 - 17:34 | 2962198 flacon
flacon's picture

There is only a MANUFACTURED shortage of gas in New York - created by a government that wants to love it's citizens to death. 

Thu, 11/08/2012 - 17:42 | 2962237 disabledvet
disabledvet's picture

Supplies of gasoline have been at record highs for some time. Same is true for oil...and natural gas. And Bring Back Rudy Giuliani please...

Thu, 11/08/2012 - 17:51 | 2962277 krispkritter
krispkritter's picture

Effective immediately, all persons over 200lbs. will only be able to order one 16oz beverage on even numbered days. Those weighing under 200lbs. on odd numbered days. Anyone caught violating this policy will be asked to immediately urinate behind a dumpster...

Thu, 11/08/2012 - 18:34 | 2962424 Zer0head
Zer0head's picture

and what pray tell is the tail number on his Gulfstream?



Thu, 11/08/2012 - 18:37 | 2962381 Flakmeister
Flakmeister's picture

Problem is that is it basically all in Cushing (oil) and on the Gulf Coast (gas)....

Problem is that PADD 5 is very tight as are parts of PADD 1 (East Coast)...

The Colonial pipeline cannot handle demand  more so now that 2 mmbpd of capacity is offline in Europe, that gas was once shipped to NY/NJ for distribution....

This shows part of the story

Scroll down for the regional plots here

Thu, 11/08/2012 - 17:32 | 2962186 Tortfeasor
Tortfeasor's picture

It's only "temporary"

Thu, 11/08/2012 - 17:34 | 2962197 greensnacks
greensnacks's picture

People cutting in line leads to riots ... imagine what will happen if someone with an odd number license plate shows up on even-number day. What a stupid idea.

And rationing leads to hoarding, so yes go long fuel tanks!

Thu, 11/08/2012 - 17:40 | 2962231 cougar_w
cougar_w's picture

They aren't rationing yet. NYers can have as much as they can carry -- every other day.

Because people are stupid, they had to be told to go home at least every other day and get on with life.

Thu, 11/08/2012 - 20:11 | 2962654 UGrev
UGrev's picture

Because businesses either: 

1. couldn't come up with their own rules

2. didn't want to because it was good for businesss

This is not for the city to decide. If the businesses want to do this, fine.. the mayor can suck a dick. They pay for cops.. have their fat asses get out in the streets and direct traffic like the good drones that they are. 

Fri, 11/09/2012 - 09:41 | 2964053 prole
prole's picture

You are ezactly 100% wrong grev. "Business" could solve these lines in 2 seconds by adjusting the price along the lines of supply and demand. Big Brother specifically and brutally disallows this, and voila! Government caused shortages and government caused lines and government caused "solutions" to the shortages and lines. (which solve neither)

If Big Brother would STFU and the gas stations who wanted to could raise the price to 10$ a gallon during the pretend shortage and sunday drivers and SUV mall shopper moms (zombies) could stay home and people with real jobs would pay the  price and not have to waste half their day in line with the zombies.

If any gas station did this they would be shut down so fast by the Gestapo their heads would spin. Not ironically at all the Gestapo are not waiting in any lines whatsoever neither do they pay for their own gas either we do.

Fri, 11/09/2012 - 02:40 | 2963569 Dr. Sandi
Dr. Sandi's picture

My heart goes out to the poor bastard who gets in line on an even day with his even plates. But by the time he gets to the front of the line, it's already an ODD day.

That would make me cranky.

Thu, 11/08/2012 - 17:39 | 2962220 Abiotic Oil
Abiotic Oil's picture

"Police in NY today are reporting a sudden rash of license plate thefts..."

Thu, 11/08/2012 - 17:48 | 2962260 Matt
Matt's picture

License plates for rent, $20 / hour.

Interested in getting some money? We pay up to $50 per day for your license plate.

Thu, 11/08/2012 - 18:04 | 2962320 Tijuana Donkey Show
Tijuana Donkey Show's picture

Just buy a set in Chinatown. Odd, Even, they got it all!

Thu, 11/08/2012 - 18:06 | 2962329 Whiner
Whiner's picture

You will only be allowed to buy fuel tanks on odd days unless your name ends in a vowel in which case you will apply for a permit. No tanks will be allowed in NYC. Hon. Nanny Bloombergstein.

Thu, 11/08/2012 - 19:04 | 2962507 Harbanger
Harbanger's picture

I'm sure there are all sorts of regulations regarding fuel tank use and storage in NYC that people have no idea about.  I can see them permitting fuel tank buyers.  Why not? you're handeling something "dangerous". With a 3hr Fire safety class and a registration of your fuel storage location.  That's a whole new agency.  Forward!

Thu, 11/08/2012 - 18:32 | 2962413 bilejones
bilejones's picture

It's lawsuit time. There are more odd numbererd days in a year than even.

Thu, 11/08/2012 - 18:32 | 2962414 bilejones
bilejones's picture

It's lawsuit time. There are more odd numbererd days in a year than even.

Thu, 11/08/2012 - 17:12 | 2962090 SelfGov
SelfGov's picture


Thu, 11/08/2012 - 17:18 | 2962120 johnQpublic
johnQpublic's picture

is that this months double plus good chocolate ration?

Thu, 11/08/2012 - 17:32 | 2962187 NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture


I almost choked on my chocolate bar when I read that.

Thu, 11/08/2012 - 17:04 | 2962038 mayhem_korner
mayhem_korner's picture

John Corzine & friends ought to be 'making' license plates...


Yes...with his cell mate, Elmo Blatch:

Thu, 11/08/2012 - 17:40 | 2962074's picture
Fresh fish! Fresh fish today!
Thu, 11/08/2012 - 17:16 | 2962093 Frozen IcQb
Frozen IcQb's picture

They hate us for our freedom!... If they only knew.

Thu, 11/08/2012 - 17:18 | 2962117 Stoploss
Stoploss's picture

I was not bullshitting when i told yall to carry two sets of plates with you, one for odd days, one set for even days.


Now look at ya.

Thu, 11/08/2012 - 17:05 | 2962043 reading
reading's picture

Some enterprising Craig's Lister will team up with one even and one odd plate and offer to take you to fill up your gas cans on any day...gas in car, problem solved.

Thu, 11/08/2012 - 17:12 | 2962089's picture


Thu, 11/08/2012 - 17:22 | 2962128 Frozen IcQb
Frozen IcQb's picture

"DB5 rotating plate bracket for sale"   Original , no major damage other than slight bullet dings.

Thu, 11/08/2012 - 17:36 | 2962209 NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture

Bloomturd will then escalate the battle by mandating plate scanners at all pumps, further increasing the price.

Thu, 11/08/2012 - 16:53 | 2961951 CunnyFunt
CunnyFunt's picture

Never let a good crisis hinder the encroaching police state.

Thu, 11/08/2012 - 17:06 | 2962048 post turtle saver
post turtle saver's picture

Lighten up, Francis.

Thu, 11/08/2012 - 17:41 | 2962236 CunnyFunt
CunnyFunt's picture

Is that normalcy bias weighing on you, Mayor?

Thu, 11/08/2012 - 19:38 | 2962594 post turtle saver
post turtle saver's picture

You're all delusional.

Thu, 11/08/2012 - 20:11 | 2962651 nmewn
nmewn's picture

Do they have a lot of post turtles flailing away in NYC now?

Thu, 11/08/2012 - 20:41 | 2962723 CunnyFunt
CunnyFunt's picture

post turtle saver, seeing cops patrolling tourist spots and subway hubs with HKs and ARs, TSA checkpoints at random stations, Homeland Security SUVs parked at the same spots day-after-day, under-cover units 'trolling for pot smokers, brown-bag beer drinkers, unlicenced dog owners and the five-oh strutting around like peackocks immune to everything were some of the main reasons I left the shit hole city that Bloomberg governs. That was all before the soda bans, fuel rationing, salt regulation, etc., and I could go on at length about that place which I dare not speak its name. Anyone who doesn't recognize Bloomberg's duchy as the beta-model police state is deluded. If the smug hipsters in Park Slope love it, then isn't that a signal to get the fuck out?

Fri, 11/09/2012 - 05:03 | 2963699 AldousHuxley
AldousHuxley's picture

there is always Canada

Thu, 11/08/2012 - 23:15 | 2963212 CunnyFunt
CunnyFunt's picture

Come on! Slap back, bitch!

Thu, 11/08/2012 - 23:17 | 2963213 CunnyFunt
CunnyFunt's picture

Go live in your cubicle, fuck face. I don't want any part of your bullshit. Come around here and you'll get fucked up, real good.

Thu, 11/08/2012 - 16:55 | 2961959 pods
pods's picture

So does this mean that Ann Margret's not coming?

Thu, 11/08/2012 - 17:00 | 2962006 malikai
malikai's picture

Not too many are going to get that. But they should.

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