Friday Humor: How Is The "Buy Everything That Isn't Nailed Down" QE3 Trade Going?

Tyler Durden's picture

It's been a mere seven weeks since the CNBC'ers announced to the world that every widow, orphan, and pet-monkey should buy the market with both hands and feet as Bernanke just opened the gates. The exact phrase on the evening of QEternity was:

"Buy everything that's not nailed down... as bearish as I want to be, you cannot fight the Fed. You buy everything. Buy copper, which i did today, FCX which i mentioned last night. Anything else? Emerging markets! everything! Just buy it. Buy it all. You never have to short again. Buy it. I had a guy call me today trying to sell me research on the short side, and I said I'm sorry, I think you're going to go out of business. You shouldn't short anymore."

From QE3...


and from Monday: "Market Going Up No Matter Who Wins"... "as long as Wednesday mornig, we have a winner, market is going up... it's just uncertainty!" oh dear...


Things haven't quite gone as planned...

US Equity performance post-QE (and the post-election plunge at right)...

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Clampit's picture

Is a share of stock or commodity derivitive a "thing"?

fonzannoon's picture

The dumbass who said that I believe also went in hard on silver a few years ago when it was in the high 40's. I almost forgive him for that one.

kaiserhoff's picture

What does it mean to be an "investor", when there is an Alabama Porch Monkey in the White House?

Dr. Engali's picture

Speaking of porches.....Tyler somebody needs to be shown the front door.

kaiserhoff's picture

It was a race/class driven election, and the talking heads say Obama won, but the whole point of voting machines is FRAUD.

Are you expecting better behavior from Obama in a second term.  He should get all the respect he deserves.

Dr. Engali's picture

I expect nothing different from him. I can think enough reasons to dislike the traitor for....race is not one of them.

kaiserhoff's picture

Fair enough, but we can't allow the infinite double standards of the the lefty media.  Obummer and his supporters don't even try to hide their abuses.  They steal from the productive to buy votes from the parasites.   That seems to be working, and destroying any hope for democracy or a future in this country.

TruthInSunshine's picture

Before I clicked on this link, I would've bet money that was from Joe 'The Piker Who Licks Krugman's Brown Spot' Weisenthal, but then I realized he's only a c league journalist, and hasn't made it into  the minor, let alone major league that is cnBSc.

By the way, when do we get a video of the Bears informing everyone to Short The F*cking Dips. There's an economic depression spreading in real time, no matter what Mark Zandi, Joe LaVorgna, Lenny Dykstra, Sam Israel, James 'Winners of the New World' Cramer, Abby Joseph Cohen, Brian Wesbury or Laszlo Birinyi have to say.

Never mind that governments here, there and everywhere are spending $1.44 (U.S.) to ---error-does not compute-- (PIIGS) for every dollar or of income they're generating, much of which is going towards direct transfers to the plebs for food, heat, medical care and other basics of survival, if only to keep the unsightly soup lines off the streets (while the Financial-Bankster-DefenseContractor Complex gets nursed off the taxpayer teat).

C'mon, The Bernank "put 2.0" will save everything! Just believe! Just print more fiat Gangnam Krugman style!! The Greenspan "put" didn't work, nor did The Bernanke "put 1.0" in 2007, nor did any fractional reserve bank "put" in history save, let alone not destroy, everything, but it's different this time, bitchez!

Modern Money Mechanics/Modern Money Theory/Print More Debt To Vanquish The Debt FTMFW!!!!!!!!

JR's picture

A number of factors contributed to the Obama win and racism, it cannot be denied, was one of them;  the media as never before identified how white people were going to vote and how blacks and Hispanics were going to vote - while identifying the positions that each held. And, then, the media identified white issues as being racist and opposing people of color - when the real active racism was generated with these pronouncements.

Is this not racism from one of the nation’s most racist newspapers, the San Jose Mercury News? 

And I quote:

Just as the GOP years ago backed itself into a political-minority box in California by appealing to a vocal but shrinking base of white male voters while alienating other groups, many Republicans on Wednesday admitted they now face the same outcome on a national level unless they radically alter their strategy.

"The national Republican Party is following the path of the California GOP, which means they're doomed unless they can find a way to reach not only Hispanic and Asian voters, but also women and even gays and lesbians,''

The nonwhite voter turnout on Tuesday reached a record 28 percent, and the Latino turnout a record 10 percent. Exit polls Tuesday showed that Obama won a startling 71 percent of the Hispanic vote and 73 percent of the fast-growing Asian-American electorate, while Romney carried 59 percent of the white vote.

When Pete Wilson was (re)elected governor of California by essentially running against Latinos, I remember saying, 'They're just given away their future…'''

Latinos were becoming steadily more Republican throughout the 1980s and early 1990s until state voters passed Proposition 187, the 1994 Wilson-backed measure to exclude illegal immigrants from nearly all public services, including public schools, said Stanford University political scientist Gary Segura.

That divisive, racially-charged period turned the tide of California politics, with more than 1 million Latinos registering to vote in the next six years and most siding with Democrats, Segura said.

That "created the California we have today," said Segura, with Democrats running all branches of government…

He exposed the faulty wiring of a Republican party that must win over Hispanics, Asians, women and young people as Obama did so dramatically in the polls.

After Obama's victory Tuesday, built solidly on support from Latinos and other minorities, Republicans are now left looking at California as a warning of how a narrow game plan must be broadened to appeal to a changing electorate.

Along with strong majorities of black, Latino and Asian voters, Obama won 60 percent of voters under 30; among women, the president took 55 percent of the vote; while Romney won 52 percent of men.

Instead, "I think the Republican party made a decision, and they were very well aware of it, that they can try to win this election without the minority vote, to push that white vote as best they can," Torres said. "If you look at those rallies, there was no color, no rainbow, nothing except white voters."

Those televised images weren't lost on voters like Janice Pennisi, a third-generation Italian-American…I couldn't relate because he [Romney] just seemed to represent rich, white men to me," she said.

Romney's tack to the right on immigration during the primary and comment about "self deportation" may have been his defining problem for Latino voters, according to polls that measured how Latinos viewed the election…

Former Bush speech writer David Frum tweeted a different message: "First step toward Republican recovery in 2016: insult fewer people."

And is it not Obama’s US Supreme Court appointment, Sonia Sotomayor, whose spoken words and rulings are prejudiced toward white males and based on racism who believes it is appropriate for a judge to consider their “experiences as women and people of color” in their decision making, who is a member of the National Council of La Raza.  who said:

“I would hope that a wise Latina woman with the richness of her experiences would more often than not reach a better conclusion than a white male who hasn’t lived that life.”

Or Obama’s second Court appointment, Elena Kagan, whose “judicial hero" is Aharon Barak of Israel.

The question now is, What racial group other than white Americans will be the favorite of Obama’s third Supreme Court appointment?

knowless's picture

obama got 93% of the black vote, why did you not include this, you obviously pulled stats from same article..

akak's picture

You didn't capitalize "Obama".

That's racist!

knowless's picture

black voting  participation rates hover around 20% so disproportionate no matter what, whites were close to 70% pretty sure.

Imminent Crucible's picture




JR's picture

There was only one mention of blacks in the article – in the sentence I used: “Along with strong majorities of black, Latino and Asian voters, Obama won 60 percent of voters under 30; among women, the president took 55 percent of the vote; while Romney won 52 percent of men.”

There were two charts in the article that included blacks, one showing the black vote for Obama in 2012 in California was 96%, another from the US Census showing that the black population in the US will increase from about 13% to 15% from 2010 to 2050, that the US Hispanic population will increase during the same period in the US to 30.2%, and the white population will drop to 49.1%. Here is the link:

knowless's picture

This was the article i was referencing, dispute veracity of exit polling or huffpo as you like.

Motorhead's picture

Well, one could mention Attorney General Eric Holder's recent actions in favor of the Blank Panthers...and who gives Holder his marching orders?

JR's picture

Could it be Holder's actions are in favor of the BPs because he was affiliated with the violent Black Panthers while in college?

That while a freshman at Columbia University in 1970, mustached and with Afro, he “participated in a five-day, armed protest and occupation of the university’s Naval Reserve Officer Training Corps (ROTC) building organized by the Black Students’ Organization (BSO)?

Or that he was an active member of the Student Afro-American Society (SAAS) that “released a statement supporting the efforts of 21 Black Panthers charged with plotting to blow up a police station, department stores, railroad tracks and the New York Botanical Gardens”?

Or that two years later he was among the leaders of SAAS “demanding the former ROTC office be renamed the ‘Malcolm X Lounge’”?

Could this also be why Holder “refused to prosecute Black Panther thugs who were accused of intimidating voters with truncheons at the polls in Philadelphia in 2008”?

Is this why some of the richest people in the world have financed Communism, Socialism, the Black Panthers, SDS, Weathermen, mass immigration and other forms of violence and revolution, because their seizure of power results from Communist agitation and Socialist legislation? Dr. Carroll Quigley, author of Tragedy and Hope and Bill Clinton's mentor at Georgetown University, says it is.

fuu's picture

Fuck that noise.

Maybe he is a black man and should keep up the good work?

Dr. Richard Head's picture

There are a multitude of areas where one can opely criticize the Obama-man, but racial divide is really the least logical, that is, of course, you are just race baiting.  In that case, carry on ignorant whore fucking cunt.  I bet you eat farts through panties.

Vince Clortho's picture

NSA Troll Bait Post to see who would jump onboard.

Dr. Kenneth Noisewater's picture




MillionDollarBoner_'s picture

So you would have preferred a Porsche Monkey like Romney ?;o)

knukles's picture

In CFA investment parlance its a "thing"
Politicians know them as "thingamajigs"
Mrs K knows them as "It better have a gain in it or I'll cut your thing off."
My daughter always asks for a few more "Green things with lots a zeros, please Daddy."  (Least she says please, now)
My neighbor knows it as "Keep that Goddamned thing out of my yard."
And my lawyer always asks "OK Knuks, what kinda thing I gotta extricate you from this time?"

Everybody wants more.  One is never enough.  And somehow I'm supposed to supply everybody but me.

Things a lot...

kaiserhoff's picture

Sometimes I think you're a genius, Knuks, and other times, I think we just need more of whatever you're drinking;)

A Lunatic's picture

Bye everything that's not nailed down.........

mrktwtch2's picture

wheres the beef?? oh thats right its been given to the

e-man's picture

First mistake was buying a 72 oz serving of Kool-Aid...

SheepDog-One's picture

I'm buying lots of things and its working out well....just bought this sweet new Mossberg 590-A1.

Dr. Engali's picture

I just secured another Ar15...fully scoped and loaded for a great price. I can't wait to hit the range.

fonzannoon's picture

That is on my list Doc. The gun thing took me a while to warm up to. I bought a 12 gauge mossberg a while back. For me that was a big deal.

HelluvaEngineer's picture

If your only rifle in an AR-15, you'd better become an expert on preventative maintenance for it.

Dr. Engali's picture

One of many rifles and various guns. I've been an AR shooter for years and I am yet to have a problem. Of course I am anal about taking good care of my guns too.

Karlus's picture

Doc, you know the new AWB will not grandfather your new toy. You will get a nice letter to bring it down to your sheriff for "orderly disposal."

That combines with a reward for people turning in contraband holders will fix that pretty quickly.

booboo's picture

LWRC took care of that with their piston gun, swweeeeeet!

But yea, don't expect a rifle to function over long bouts when it shits where you feed it.

Martial's picture

590A1 all the way...picked one up a few years back. Great an ontario bayonett that conviently slips on the end in case I run out of ammo during the zombie apolcalypse.

Harbanger's picture

I just bought an emergency response necklace for seniors.  It features a medical alert button.  I feel much safer now.

A Lunatic's picture

Lol, I am being overrun by zombies and I can't get up..........

SheepDog-One's picture

Breaking News- 'Fast Money' just changed to 'Fade Money'.

CitizenPete's picture

From the FED, for those who read and beleive this guff:

There is a updated version of Fed in Print on our server.    Go to 

At the top left of the page, click on the  Latest working papers link  to see a list of 80 new working papers.     

The  New economic articles link will take you to a list of 40 articles.  This list is revised frequently.   

Thank you for your interest in Federal Reserve research. 



surf0766's picture

Relax the new ideas have arrived. Everyone pay more taxes. Now !

nobodyimportant's picture

You pay taxes?  You must have foriegn income as domestic income is exempt from tax.

Please see US Code Chapter 26 Section 86 1-8 or visit

akak's picture

Looks like somebody got blowtorched*.


*Nods to the former RobotTrader, nowadays sulking in his LA studio apartment overlooking the freeway.

Canadian Dirtlump's picture

*pours some of his 40 out*




p.s. the toolbag seems to be wearing some sort of "grill" or "mouthguard" in the pre election video. Was he expecting to get his teeth punched out for giving mongoloid advice?

Quinvarius's picture

Lets have some perspective on the magnitude of this blowtorching move here:

And while gaining that perspective, observe who is getting long while screaming sell at the bottom.

akak's picture

Quinvarius, you are missing the joke.

RobotLemming loved to claim that the "doomer" holders of gold and silver were "blowtorched" with every downward fluctuation in their prices.  Not only were his claims specious, they were the epitome of the blinkered, simplistic, ultra-short-term perspective so prevalent in modern society.

Quinvarius's picture


I see the humor.

Panafrican Funktron Robot's picture

Pretty sure he had to move to Oakland.  Even East L.A. is a bit pricey for his level of income.  

Quinvarius's picture

Short back patting over a 200 point move in the DOW?  After 3 weeks of screaming sell into an empty room?   

You should buy everything.  The bearishness is so over the top, I can't believe it is this easy.  This is one of the clearest cut buys I have seen since 2009, when I was buying the bottom.

I guess you would all have my job if it was really as easy it seems to me.  Markets move on easy money which we have.  Markets crash on banking panics, which are friggin dam near impossible in this environment. 

Mercury's picture

Emerging markets! everything! Just buy it. Buy it all. You never have to short again. Buy it. I had a guy call me today trying to sell me research on the short side, and I said I'm sorry, I think you're going to go out of business. You shouldn't short anymore.


On CNBC maybe.

On ZH Every(one) is Turning To Gold


Dr. Engali's picture

Gawwddd how can people listen to this crap?