This page has been archived and commenting is disabled.

Apple Already Working On Next iPhone, iPad Update

Tyler Durden's picture


With AAPL's share price 'off the lows', hope is re-emerging that the company-that-can-do-no-wrong is back (23% decline aside). However, a funny thing happened on the way to the AAPL store. Digitimes is reporting speculating (via China Times) that the tech giant is preparing for trial production of the iPhone 5S in December with an iPad update shortly after. It would seem to us that Apple is scrambling - how does a three-month upgrade-cycle sync with a two-year non-free upgrade contract from the telecoms providers? It appears clear that few will participate and upgrade-cycle take-up estimates will have to be reduced. Furthermore, following in the footsteps of Bernanke's some-is-good so more-is-better strategem, we wonder whether the public will begin to adjust their behavior and delay purchase in an ever-decreasing sales loop since the iPhone 'n+1' is only a few months away...


Via Computerworld:

Does this mean Apple’s been listening to critics demanding it innovate against its seemingly imitative Android competitors? Does this mean it intends raising the frequency of iPhone releases in order to stay near the head of the pack?


It’s possible.


Digitimes reckons the iPhone 5S could enter volume production in the first quarter of 2013. However, I recall a seven month gap between initial claims of the iPhone 5 entering production and its eventual appearance, so I’m speculating a June/July introduction on strength of the title’s claims.


Keeping that iPhone 5 production line moving has been problematic for Foxconn, where Chairman Terry Gou said: “It’s not easy to make the iPhones. We are falling short of meeting the huge demand.”


It seems far too soon for fresh iPhone rumors to hit the street, for a start Apple has remained pretty focused on an annual release; secondly the iPhone 5 has only been available for two months.


Conversely, it’s possible company management have decided to introduce new versions of the iPhone more frequently and perhaps striking back against the fragmented Android device market by diversifying its iDevice range.


All the same it seems highly improbable that Apple intends introducing an all-new iPhone within the next four months -- rumors like these tend to deflate sales of Apple’s current model.


The latter even makes it possible that those in competition with Apple may be attempting to seed the market with such rumors in an attempt to stifle Cupertino’s smartphone sales.


There is one other possibility: Apple may be on course to introduce a new breed of iPhone, not intended to compete with the classic model, but to widen the market with the release of a different kind of device.


- advertisements -

Comment viewing options

Select your preferred way to display the comments and click "Save settings" to activate your changes.
Mon, 11/12/2012 - 11:01 | 2972331 LawsofPhysics
LawsofPhysics's picture

Are they edible yet?  No?, guess I'll keep farming then.  I still see 7+ billion underfunded liabilities walking around.

Mon, 11/12/2012 - 11:21 | 2972413 BobPaulson
BobPaulson's picture

Agreed, but it could be your children or grandchildren who cash in on the Malthusian gauntlet (nothing wrong with that). Until you turn the starving millions into iphone consumers they will stay priced out of the food market.

Mon, 11/12/2012 - 12:33 | 2972756 DosZap
Mon, 11/12/2012 - 16:18 | 2973775 Drachma
Drachma's picture

Let's go buy the hype! Let's go buy the hype!

Mon, 11/12/2012 - 11:01 | 2972337 FuzzyDunlop21
FuzzyDunlop21's picture

One trick pony

Mon, 11/12/2012 - 11:47 | 2972533 BlueCollaredOne
BlueCollaredOne's picture


Kito said it best. To paraphrase "Apple breakthroughs are making their smallest screen bigger, and making their biggest screen smaller."

Mon, 11/12/2012 - 11:02 | 2972338 Lost Wages
Lost Wages's picture

As with Intel and Microsoft, they probably have the next seven products already lined up. Just not willing to sell them yet until you spend more money on the current crap. But yeah, this represents the "technological stagnation" discussed in Brief History of the Future by Jacques Attali. Now that they've invented a smartphone, they'll just keep inventing the smartphone over and over again. No new ideas.

Mon, 11/12/2012 - 11:23 | 2972389 Incubus
Incubus's picture

This is why capitalism fails.

Dumb fools adhere to the structures of their "beliefs" like mental invalids.  What the world needs is an eclectic approach to society that'll fry all of your motherfucking convention-worshiping brains.

What world needs is people to think for themselves.  Spending money on shit for the sake of consumption is not a benefit to any society.  We've found ourselves in a nihilistic paradise of consumption and ego-inflation.


How about people start to live?  Yeah, you know what that requires?  The complete destruction of their conditioned way of life of NOTHING.  Understand that, fools?  Your lives you instill meaning into could be so much better if it were freed from this parasite-class attached to your backs, feeding off of your life and effort whilst you chase fucking delusions of success in a losing game.



Mon, 11/12/2012 - 11:24 | 2972429 BobPaulson
BobPaulson's picture

Lots of good ranting there, but it didn't quite coalesce into a pointed critique of anything specific.

Mon, 11/12/2012 - 11:27 | 2972442 Incubus
Incubus's picture

It's a critique of everything, mate.  Because, well, EVERYTHING IS WRONG! I can't make a critique of a specific thing when there's so much that needs reworking.

A "specific" complaint is like throwing "hot dog down a hallway."

Mon, 11/12/2012 - 11:48 | 2972539 in4mayshun
in4mayshun's picture

Do you feel better after that pointless tirade?

Mon, 11/12/2012 - 11:53 | 2972550 Incubus
Incubus's picture

Do you have anything to say, really?  Do you feel better after making that comment?

Mon, 11/12/2012 - 12:43 | 2972806 NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture

For someone who calls everyone dumb fools while not even holding a coherent definition of capitalism...

Well, let's just say, I logged in just to junk your nonsense.

Mon, 11/12/2012 - 13:09 | 2972885 Incubus
Incubus's picture

I know this isn't capitalism, and I'm saying everyone's randian fairytail ideal capitalism would not work, either.


It's based on the assumption that a fucked up, broken society will produce people that will be moral and ethical once they've accumulated their wealth. You're just reacting on an emotional basis.  Keep running to labels, dude.


And lol, junking.  You feel better for that?  I am junked.  totally fucking destroyed over that, now.


oh man, junked.  how could I be junked?  Someone pressed a pixel arrow on a screen because they didn't agree with me.  And you logged in for that?  Get your priorities straight.

Point is, after you've finished your little emotional reaction, and you get your little conditioned "junking" out of the way, I want you to sit down and think about the world and labels and society and everything else.

And you'll realize I'm right.




"The ideas of economists and political philosophers, both when they are right and when they are wrong, are more powerful than is commonly understood. Indeed the world is ruled by little else. Practical men, who believe themselves to be quite exempt from any intellectual influences, are usually the slaves of some defunct economist." - Keynes

Mon, 11/12/2012 - 11:28 | 2972447 redpill
redpill's picture

So how would those inherently-human characteristics be any different under any other type of economic scenario (not that I'm conceding that the current regime is anything related to capitalism anymore).

Mon, 11/12/2012 - 12:24 | 2972530 Incubus
Incubus's picture

When you force people to think INDEPENDENTLY, and ground that with a good set of morals, they will tend to want to work towards a better world, rather than getting more funny money to get ahead in an impersonal system.

People react primarily on an emotional level up until a threshold level of general intelligence.  The problem with the world is that most people DO NOT THINK. Their "thinking" is limited to their personal sphere; rarely do they apply those thinking skills to the world in general.

I'm not saying people are mentally deficient: I'm saying they waste their time applying their thought to meaningless shit.  Look at the effort your average basement dweller will invest into any given video game.   What people need is direction. 

Most people do react the way they do in the world because of the exclusive approach to society.  This sort of convention forces people to become impersonal and only "look out for their own." 

An inclusive society would create a better quality individual.  Better individuals = a better society.  If people thought their efforts would ever really mean anything, they'd spend more of their time on making the world better, instead of watching fucking television, or drinking their way through life.

The problem with America is that people want to proceed with the belief that a populace of mind-raped people, incapable of independent thought, should be thought of as "individuals."

Fix the fucked up people, and until then, you won't have a system that works.  Try to figure out what produces an INDIVIDUAL and not some consumerist-humanoid, then you'll understand what kind of better world awaits the unthinking masses if only they had brains.

Let's break this down to a very basic level.  What produces a more favorable outcome for both parties?

A. Being an asshole to someone

B. Being nice to someone

So why should this approach be any different when applied to society? 

God, I swear people don't ever fucking think.

Mon, 11/12/2012 - 12:33 | 2972751 viahj
viahj's picture

"When you force people to think INDEPENDENTLY"...that's not gonna work. you can't jump from peak to peak, you must go through the trough to get there.  you cannot skip a stage in the cycle.  we (the West) live in excess, thus there isn't a survival instinct kicking in to change our habits to be "independent thinking" as well as being a "inclusive society".  we gotta devolve from where we are and then the strongest will reach up.

Tyler Durden: You're not your job. You're not how much money you have in the bank. You're not the car you drive. You're not the contents of your wallet. You're not your fucking khakis. You're the all-singing, all-dancing crap of the world.
Tyler Durden: Listen up, maggots. You are not special. You are not a beautiful or unique snowflake. You're the same decaying organic matter as everything else.

Mon, 11/12/2012 - 12:47 | 2972824 BobPaulson
BobPaulson's picture

I have that feeling too. The top heavy overfed lazy society we have created is toast. Dead man walking. Don't mourn its demise man, it will be a great thing when this shitty society collapses. 

The sad thing is that by improving the conditions of life for ourselves, we are naturally complacent. The oppressed and hungry want a chance at sitting around watching TV and getting fat too.

So, really, it's just a cycle. My big concern is that during the next few cycles of the human prisoner's dilemma, we may focus more on "beating" the "country" we are competing with, and accidentally replicate on a grand scale what the good folks on Easter Island did in a similar situation. Faced with the option of a painful course change to avoid collapse or staying the course and overconsuming ourselves into ruin, humans seem pretty comfortable destroying themselves. I think it's because we are mortal and doomed to die anyways.

Mon, 11/12/2012 - 12:39 | 2972782 Matt
Matt's picture

Is this an advertisement for fascism? 

Mon, 11/12/2012 - 12:44 | 2972788 Incubus
Incubus's picture

It's and advertisment for thinking for yourself.  Keep jumping from label to label in an attempt to understand anything. 

You know, the golden rule isn't so bad, and we'd be a whole lot better off in the world if people actually practiced what they preached.

Are you capable of processing information on an as-is manner, or do you need to run to labels that someone else has already laid out for you?


Mon, 11/12/2012 - 12:47 | 2972821 NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture

"...we'd be a whole lot better off in the world if people actually practiced what they preached. "

Too bad your logic doesn't apply to you, but rather, you only seek to change others (just like all others who fail to practice the golden rule).

Mon, 11/12/2012 - 13:11 | 2972861 Incubus
Incubus's picture

If I was failing to see the point in something, I'd want someone to point it out to me.  

If I was caught up in some consumerist sphere and totally stupid, I'd like someone to point it out to me. 


As for your observation of me being "impolite," I am because it's the only way to get through to people on the internet.  IRL I don't have a problem with people because I am nice to them.  My prose is "spiced up," so to speak. 

If my wording were bland, would you have given a fuck? I am appealing to your emotional state because that's the only thing that will elicit a response outside of your stupid fucking label-everything view of the world that would have you readily dismiss my argument otherwise. 

Are you bothered over this?  GOOD! NOW THINK FOR FUCKS SAKE.

Mon, 11/12/2012 - 13:34 | 2973124 Ms. Erable
Ms. Erable's picture

Given that critical thinking skills and asking salient questions are skills no longer taught nor valued, can you can explain how to 'force' people who 'don't ever think' to 'think independently'?

Mon, 11/12/2012 - 15:24 | 2973334 Incubus
Incubus's picture

Giving them access to a free flow of information.  Propaganda--counterarguments, all of it.

You don't price out information/education.  The rational mind will prevail.


Some people might FUCKING frown on my FUCKING use of FUCKING profanity, but who is trying to censor who here?

lol, the irony is so wonderful.  You proponents of a "free" society FUCKING accuse me of being some fascist when, in your hearts, you wish to censor me. If the down arrow were a trigger, you'd gladly pull it to give yourselves mental peace.

Isn't that the truth, though, you charlatans?  You masquerade under the guise of champions of some "free" society, when all you seek is profit via anything you can place a price tag on.

In a true "free" society, none of you could exist with the mindset you have; you'd have to mentally evolve. 

It's absolutely disgusting how these money-grubbing addicts have drawn some cloak of "freedom" over themselves when their minds are filled with the filth of a system that's rotting from the core.

And they fight to keep things the way they are because it's what they were told is right.  "Democracy" is heralded as some great thing by these hedonists, but they don't even realize the government they love so is manifest of Hamilton, and not of the "founding fathers." 

And they profess to me--of my ignorance.  Goddamn fools.  All of you.

None of you want what's better for humanity, as a whole.  What all of you seek is what's better for yourselves, so enjoy the society you deserve.

And take care to note that I did say an ideal approach to the "problem" of "society" would be an eclectic approach.  But do yourselves a favor and label me as a 'socialist' or 'communist' for your own well-being.  Fucking muppets.




DO any of you realize that the world today is the result of your unwaivering worship of money and the illusion of success?  Gallivants at the pews of the church of capitalism: holy is the word you've been told, sin being all that aren't the first things you were told was truth.

Ignorance saturates every layer of this society and yet all of you believe that your "jesus" of "true capitalism" will save you.

I'll tell you what will free the world; what will "save" the world.  And that's freeing the flow of information.  But that is incompatible with the capitalistic/communistic model.

lol. So Keep praying, and pray harder.  You're all going to die in vain, anyway.


Mon, 11/12/2012 - 15:33 | 2973619 Matt
Matt's picture

"Giving them access to a free flow of information.  Propaganda--counterarguments, all of it."

It is called the Internet, and most people in Western civilisation have access to it. The rest of the world is following.

"You proponents of a "free" society FUCKING accuse me of being some fascist when, in your hearts, you wish to censor me."

No one is trying to censor you. 

"DO any of you realize that the world today is the result of your unwaivering worship of money and the illusion of success?"  

Now who is using labels and blanket assumptions?

"I'll tell you what will free the world; what will "save" the world.  And that's freeing the flow of information." 

The Internet already exists. We are free to flow information. Now what? Do we just wait for this free information to make the general populace less ignorant? Sounds like the best new Utopia vision yet; just sit back and let the information flow freely, and people will become better. You don't even have to do anything!

Mon, 11/12/2012 - 13:51 | 2973223 Matt
Matt's picture

Just looking at the phrases you used:

"When you force people to think INDEPENDENTLY, and ground that with a good set of morals, they will tend to want to work towards a better world"

How exactly do you propose to "force people to think independantly"? How would you "ground that with a good set of morals"?

"An inclusive society would create a better quality individual."

"Fix the fucked up people"

How do you propose to "Fix, cure, force, ground and include people"? The phrases you use sound, to me, to be strikingly similar to National Socialist thinking. 

I don't really see how the golden rule applies, other than at the nation-state level. It is the miracle of government, to diffuse actions across groups of people, so rather than a person robbing another person outright, the government can redistribute wealth on a more incremental level, and there is no way to directly say that Paul was robbed to give to Peter as specific individuals, since all the money is in pools.

Mon, 11/12/2012 - 14:24 | 2973340 Incubus
Incubus's picture

See my comment above.

Wanna find another label for me? Come on, what'll make it easier for your brain to digest what I'm saying?



Mon, 11/12/2012 - 15:27 | 2973603 Matt
Matt's picture

Maybe if you answered questions and provided details.

Mon, 11/12/2012 - 23:41 | 2975029 Incubus
Incubus's picture

You are hoplessly naive and ignorant if you can't see that access to information is not untethered and free.  What you're doing is pushing the argument on your myopic angle.  "Information is free" through the internet? Lol.

Did I say my plan was to "just give the information" to people?  You have to rebuild society from the core up to facilitate the free flow of information and promote the pursuit of knowledge and self-improvement over the whoring-instinct of doing various act of literal or nonliteral prostitution to get paid. 

That simple statement of the internet being some path of information enlightenment has proven your ignorance of the social & economic state of the world today. 

You don't understand because you're still seeking to "defend" your viewpoint first and foremost.  Your intent isn't to gain knowledge.  So don't waste my time any further.  I've explained enough to you, and you'd do well to use your brain to figure out the rest, if you ever wished to do so. 

lol. Does it pain you whores to even think that all your lives, you've done nothing but sell your "services" for a check.  That is humanity manifest?  Such a fucking pitiful state of society.  You should realize that an initial step to making something better out of yourselves is to accept that you're fucked up and try to fix that.  I already went through it, and I'm not perfect.  I'm as screwed up as anyone else--and if any of you think your system or your ideals are perfect, you're fucking delusional.

Go ahead and "junk" me.  Get it out of your system, you fucking conditioned dogs.  Worship at the altars of ideal manifest of other men and never get off your knees, you whores.



Mon, 11/12/2012 - 13:28 | 2973099 BobPaulson
BobPaulson's picture

I was just thinking that some form of fascism seems eerily unavoidable. Humans evolved slowly for millions of years in a social network that was extremely simple, and required very little abstraction. Now in the last 200 years we are catapulted into a system that requires way more intellectual effort in which to operate. The people running things will naturally argue that they are the statistical 3-4 sigma tail of the normal distribution who can actually function in this complex system. So what do you do? How to accelerate human evolution to keep up with the rapid growth in the needs to operate in this complex virtual world? I'm actually surprised eugenics and/or genetic engineering have been kept out of the discussion for as long as they have. I bet when it returns, it will be by some kind of market driven insanity like parents volunteering to breed the superkid (Reichskinder).

Eventually with a hugely complex mob teetering at the point of annihilating ourselves, how are we going to avoid just doing what a caveman (ourselves) would do? Someone will say we need to convert that wolf into a german shepard to allow us to escape the limits of our basic instincts.

Mon, 11/12/2012 - 13:58 | 2973245 Matt
Matt's picture

I don't doubt engineering children to be free from ailments and with desired attributes will become a big commercial thing.

Rather than embracing the complexity, we could reduce it through decentralization; go back to smaller city-states that do not require such massive beauracracy to run.

The complexity is, as far as I can tell, mostly unnecessary; how many layers of government do we have? Municipal, County or Region, State or Province, Federal, International. So at least 5 layers of government sitting on your head. Combine that with tens of thousands of pages of laws, regulations, tax codes, et cetera, et cetera. 

Mon, 11/12/2012 - 16:13 | 2973760 BobPaulson
BobPaulson's picture

My take is that the complexity scales with the speed of communication and the population. It seems to depend on the number of communication links there are.

The engineering I was alluding to would be to create brains less callibrated to hunting the wooly mammoth and more tuned to doing 100 things at once with countless electric devices, links, codes, relationships, and processes that have to be organized continuously. I'm no expert but I see this as the main cause of the mental illness epidemic and I see no prospect of it decreasing any time soon.

Mon, 11/12/2012 - 16:31 | 2973809 Matt
Matt's picture

The human brain is not really intended to multi-task at all.

There is this show, I can't remember the name off the top of my head, where in one episode they had this CEO from this corporation that was always multitasking, sending emails and talking on the phone while preparing and eating dinner, etc.

They had him talk on the phone, doing basic arithmatic, while remembering a list of words while driving a car through an obstacle course. His performance at all three tasks was horrible compared to doing one single task.

The sooner society accepts that people can only focus on one task at a time, and stops trying to force people to toggle back and forth between as many things as possible, the better, as far as I'm concerned. How to get people to do so in their personal time, IDK.

Mon, 11/12/2012 - 19:13 | 2974380 BobPaulson
BobPaulson's picture

Bingo. But advertising is designed to catch your instinct telling you that you could be missing something if you don't watch out.

Mon, 11/12/2012 - 12:17 | 2972674 Metalredneck
Metalredneck's picture

Working on this very theory as we speak.  I only hate that change is so glacial, but, somebody has to start some time.

Mon, 11/12/2012 - 11:15 | 2972392 machineh
machineh's picture

How about a rectangle with NO corners?

Now that would be innovative!

Mon, 11/12/2012 - 11:51 | 2972545 Ignatius
Ignatius's picture

That would be the earth?

Back on topic, I have wondered for years whether we were entering a period where change and innovation start happening faster than one can bring it to market at a profit.  Still wondering....

Mon, 11/12/2012 - 12:20 | 2972691 poor fella
poor fella's picture

nah.... Unless you count the change experienced through collapse and entropy. That's what's speeding up.


If the iPhone 5-liger came with a Steve Jobs'-signed bowstaff - that would be innovative.

Mon, 11/12/2012 - 12:46 | 2972819 Matt
Matt's picture

A second Gilded Age, if it weren't for constant government bailouts and central bank interventions.

Mon, 11/12/2012 - 11:04 | 2972346 slaughterer
slaughterer's picture

So, is this really bearish news? 

Mon, 11/12/2012 - 11:24 | 2972430 francis_sawyer
francis_sawyer's picture

No... Bullish... Now I can upgrade my Newton to an iObamafone before Kwanzaa...

Mon, 11/12/2012 - 11:05 | 2972348 edifice
edifice's picture

Does anyone really care? Since when did ZH become an Apple rumors site?

Mon, 11/12/2012 - 11:13 | 2972377 Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture

Since Apple makes up  20% of the index it's pretty relevant information.

Mon, 11/12/2012 - 11:17 | 2972400 francis_sawyer
francis_sawyer's picture

Apple Rumors = Monday Morning humor (more relevancy)

Mon, 11/12/2012 - 11:29 | 2972457 redpill
redpill's picture

Apple is one of the best, if not the best, examples of being a beneficiary of modern ponzi financial market groupthink.  It's a notion that if enough of the market buys a stock the company will do well (actually just that the price will continue to go up, I don't think most of these fools care about fundamentals), instead of the more logically coherent idea of finding companies that are doing well and buying their stock.  In the case of Apple of course it was both, and clearly that company revolutionized the mobile world.  However, to go from an innovative cell phone manufacturer with an $80 stock price 3 1/2 years ago to the largest company on the planet and breaking $700 per share in Sepetember is a momo trade stampede of laughable proportions.  Anyone paying attention knew the biggest hedge fund hotel in the world was due for a major reality check.  All of this is right up Zerohedge's alley.

Mon, 11/12/2012 - 11:46 | 2972532 Manthong
Manthong's picture

Yeah, well look at all the capital expenditures that translates into means of production and future prosperity that Apples represents..

for somebody. 

Mon, 11/12/2012 - 11:50 | 2972540 jimijon
jimijon's picture

Give me a break. What is its P/E? And what reality check are you speaking of? The continuing rise of alternative computers, ala Tablets and Smartphones? You expect that to decrease? 

And that rumor site has been notoriously wrong.


Mon, 11/12/2012 - 12:18 | 2972680 redpill
redpill's picture

The reality check has three main points:

1) Apple has stopped revolutionizing and only incrementally evolves their products these days.

2) It is impossible for Apple to maintain their market share with exploding competition out of China and Korea.

3) Jobs is dead and the vision died with him.

The stock move since September has shown that these fundamentals are starting to dawn on people.  That doesn't mean the company is dead, I'm sure it has a long a productive future ahead of it as one manufacturer in a broad spectrum of mobile digital options; but the explosive stock price growth is over.


Mon, 11/12/2012 - 11:21 | 2972408 DaveyJones
DaveyJones's picture

"i of newt, and toe of Jobs,
Wool of bat, and tongue of third world dog,
Adder's fork, and blind-worm's sting,
Lizard's leg, and howlet's wing,--
For a phone of powerful trouble,
Let the index boil and bubble."

Mon, 11/12/2012 - 11:19 | 2972395 williambanzai7
williambanzai7's picture

I don't know, but people have asked me what Zero Hedge's relationship is with Google, as if I would know.

Of course my standard response does not include the words "what would give you that idea."

Mon, 11/12/2012 - 11:05 | 2972349 Spitzer
Spitzer's picture

The New Windows Tab is decent. I'd buy one over any Apple job

Mon, 11/12/2012 - 11:11 | 2972350 hedgeless_horseman
hedgeless_horseman's picture an ever-decreasing sales loop since the iPhone 'n+1' is only a few months away

I don't care. I want the one with the bigger geebees and the wife-eyes.  I want a white one!

Mon, 11/12/2012 - 11:12 | 2972381 fuu
fuu's picture

Your sister says Walgreens has them.

Mon, 11/12/2012 - 11:06 | 2972352 Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture

Apple jumped the shark, they lost their innovative edge and are now the new Microsoft. Their product roll outs now have the same diminishing returns as QE3....or 4...or 4s...wherever the hell we are.

Mon, 11/12/2012 - 11:20 | 2972406 francis_sawyer
francis_sawyer's picture

The 'iSledgehammer' is part of Paul Krugman's economic road to recovery plan...

Mon, 11/12/2012 - 11:30 | 2972464 machineh
machineh's picture

Kurgman paraphrases Woody Guthrie on his iSledgehammer: 'This machine kills Republicans.'

(Not saying I approve; just mocking the Kurg's mindless, reactionary partisanship.)

Mon, 11/12/2012 - 11:47 | 2972500 hedgeless_horseman
hedgeless_horseman's picture



THIS WEBSITE KILLS FASCISTS!/roadcase/the-jolly-banker/ 

My name is Tom Cranker and I'm a jolly banker,
I'm a jolly banker, jolly banker am I.
I safeguard the farmers and widows and orphans,
Singin' I'm a jolly banker, jolly banker am I.

When dust storms are sailing, and crops they are failing,
I'm a jolly banker, jolly banker am I.
I check up your shortage and bring down your mortgage,
Singin' I'm a jolly banker, jolly banker am I.

When money you're needing, and mouths you are feeding,
I'm a jolly banker, jolly banker am I.
I'll plaster your home with a furniture loan,
Singin' I'm a jolly banker, jolly banker am I.

If you show me you need it, I'll let you have credit,
I'm a jolly banker, jolly banker am I.
Just bring me back two for the one I lend you,
Singin' I'm jolly banker, jolly banker am I.

When your car you're losin', and sadly your cruisin',
I'm a jolly banker, jolly banker am I.
I'll come and forclose, get your car and your clothes,
Singin' I'm jolly banker, jolly banker am I.

When the bugs get your cotton, the times they are rotten,
I'm jolly banker, jolly banker am I.
I'll come down and help you, I'll rake you and scalp you,
Singin' I'm jolly banker, jolly banker am I.

When the landlords abuse you, or sadly misuse you,
I'm jolly banker, jolly banker am I.
I'll send down the police chief to keep you from mischief,
Singin' I'm jolly banker, jolly banker am I.

Mon, 11/12/2012 - 11:32 | 2972466 DaveyJones
DaveyJones's picture

Nigel:  And then we looked at each other and says well we might as well
        join up you know and uh....
David:  So we became The Originals.
Nigel:  Right.
David:  And we had to change our name actually....
Nigel:  Well there was, there was another group in the east end called The
        Originals and we had to rename ourselves.
David:  The New Originals.
Nigel:  The New Originals and then, uh, they became....
David:  The Regulars, they changed their name back to The Regulars and
        we thought well, we could go back to The Originals but 
        what's the point?

Mon, 11/12/2012 - 12:35 | 2972764 Cheesy Bastard
Cheesy Bastard's picture

The new iPhone goes to 11.

Mon, 11/12/2012 - 15:22 | 2973585 DaveyJones
DaveyJones's picture

it also has a spontaneous combustion app 

Mon, 11/12/2012 - 11:07 | 2972355 orangegeek
orangegeek's picture

More hardware.  Good for Apple.  Keep chasing that low margin business.


It will be difficult for AAPL to outperform its index - NASDAQ100.


Google, Amazon, Samsung have their $300 devices.  Wonder if AAPL willl come off their $800 price?



Mon, 11/12/2012 - 11:25 | 2972434 machineh
machineh's picture

$300? Try $21. In India, students can buy a subsidized 7-inch Aakash 2 tab for $21 that runs on Android OS.

Then they can download all their textbooks for free, as pdf files on a dotgov website.

Apple may own the U.S. edumacation market, but there's four times as many Indian students as American students ... and they're growing up on Google.

When the brightest Indian kids show up at Stanford for advanced degrees, Android will be the platform they know.

Mon, 11/12/2012 - 13:46 | 2973164 flattrader
flattrader's picture

Apple didn't get the memo.

Only an idiot would by a mini ipad with prices like this on the horizon.

Eventually. consumers will run screaming from the Apple ecosystem..."I ain't gonna work on Jobs' farm no more."

Mon, 11/12/2012 - 11:06 | 2972356 kito
kito's picture

the new iphone 5s, bigger and brighter for the holiday season


the new smaller, mini mini ipad coming for the holidays:



Mon, 11/12/2012 - 11:13 | 2972388 LawsofPhysics
LawsofPhysics's picture



what "revolutionary technology" does a "bigger brighter screen" bring to the market again.

Fusion reactions for sale would be innovation for growth.

Oh wait, I see you forgot your < sarc > flag,  my bad.

Mon, 11/12/2012 - 11:20 | 2972404 kito
kito's picture

come on laws, did i really need a <sarc> flag???????????........................



Mon, 11/12/2012 - 11:07 | 2972362 bigkansas
bigkansas's picture

Top button broke on my second iphone, as well as my first iphone. Built in obsolescence. That should be good for GDP.

Mon, 11/12/2012 - 11:42 | 2972514 williambanzai7
williambanzai7's picture

My iPhone 1 still works fine, but they stopped upgrading the iOS so I can't download APPs anymore.

This is the new model of planned obsolescence. Your old hardware no longer works with the latest APPs. This is not unique to Apple. But it does beg some questions about gadget spend.

I'll tell you one thing. I do not rely on any clouds for data storage. That is the new rent.

Mon, 11/12/2012 - 12:36 | 2972770 redpill
redpill's picture

I'm with you wb, that cloud shit freaks me out. Bad enough we backed up one of our PCs with carbonite because it had all the kid pictures on it and such and we wanted them off site. Still don't like the idea of it though.

Mon, 11/12/2012 - 11:08 | 2972363 ziggy59
ziggy59's picture

IStuff =QE= Buzz Lightyear..To Infinity and Beyond!

Mon, 11/12/2012 - 11:08 | 2972365 ShrNfr
ShrNfr's picture

Cook is starting to remind me of Sculley. Same Barbie, different clothes.

Mon, 11/12/2012 - 11:08 | 2972369 Spastica Rex
Spastica Rex's picture

Built-in obsolescence = systematic window breaking

Break 'em faster, Apple.

Mon, 11/12/2012 - 11:09 | 2972370 Agent P
Agent P's picture

10 bucks says they repackage the iPhone 4 as the iPhone 5 Mini.

Mon, 11/12/2012 - 11:10 | 2972372 Spastica Rex
Spastica Rex's picture

No, they have it scheduled as the iPhone 6 Classic.

Mon, 11/12/2012 - 11:12 | 2972382 Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture

+ 1 lol

Mon, 11/12/2012 - 11:10 | 2972374 Inthemix96
Inthemix96's picture

Heres a thought.

When apple can make a phone that can make me a full English in the morning including:-

Bacon, sausage, beans, tomatoes, fried onions, fried eggs, black pudding, chips (or hash browns), and two slices of eggy bread I will listen.

Until then, fuck off.....

Mon, 11/12/2012 - 11:55 | 2972556 Orly
Orly's picture

Wot?  No kidneys?

Mon, 11/12/2012 - 11:10 | 2972375 A Lunatic
A Lunatic's picture

Gotta wonder about a company that feels the need to replace it's own products every six months. I wonder about the iidiots that snatch them up even more.........

Mon, 11/12/2012 - 11:13 | 2972384 redd_green
redd_green's picture

its about planned obsolescence.  Think about it.  They get people to pay 500.00 for an iPad, and the batteries are not replaceable, they are soldered in, and the batteries last 2 years max.   So, you have to take it back to Apple, and pay about 1/2 price of a new one for a refurb with new batteries.   What a scam.  

Mon, 11/12/2012 - 11:22 | 2972420 adr
adr's picture

Which is also based on the booked forward sales on Apple's earnings reports. If Apple sold 10 million iPhones, and they know that nearly all of them will become unusable in two years, they can book another 10 million sold right now.

GAAP are great!!!

Mon, 11/12/2012 - 11:34 | 2972477 machineh
machineh's picture

As they say in the London underground, 'Mind the GAAP.'

Mon, 11/12/2012 - 11:11 | 2972378 redd_green
redd_green's picture

With Steve Jobs gone, the "next new iPad" will be 1" smaller or 1" bigger.  That's aboutt all the creativity they have in the company without Jobs.   I give Apple 5 years to destroy itself like the last time Jobs left.

Mon, 11/12/2012 - 11:20 | 2972407 adr
adr's picture

There was never any real creativity with Jobs, just poaching others ideas and paying off the patent office so they could get a patent on a rectangle with a flat screen.

The iPhone was a more advanced full color version of the Palm Pilot. Complete with the home screen and stacking icons.

Jobs didn't run a company, he ran an espionage and war machine complete with a mad fascist dictator at the helm. Apple is a better company without him, just not a $700 billion market cap company. Not that it ever should have been hyped to that level in the first place.


Mon, 11/12/2012 - 11:34 | 2972484 Vince Clortho
Vince Clortho's picture

"poaching others ideas"

Yup.  Like the time he stole the "windows" idea from Microsoft.

Mon, 11/12/2012 - 11:56 | 2972562 Winston of Oceania
Winston of Oceania's picture

Actually he stole the GUI interface from Xerox when the acute minds there decided there was no value in the idea...

Mon, 11/12/2012 - 13:01 | 2972926 spekulatn
spekulatn's picture

Mr. Jobs certainly played well in the department of fear. No doubt about it.


Mon, 11/12/2012 - 11:12 | 2972383 Inthemix96
Inthemix96's picture


Sorry apple, dont forget a healthy portion of fried mushrooms.  Whole mind, not cut into slices you cannot taste, oh, and make sure you do them in Lurpak butter, I know the difference mind....

Mon, 11/12/2012 - 11:17 | 2972393 Gamma735
Gamma735's picture

Say goodbye to AAPL.  They will be back to their mid 90s crap in 5 years.

Mon, 11/12/2012 - 11:23 | 2972399 yogibear
yogibear's picture

Cook is just another MBA suit. Jobs had over 2 years of creative stuff in the pipeline. You can see another Microsoft.

After that it's hand waving and BS. Sorry Wall Street fund mangers, the hype and mo-mo doesn't last forever.


Mon, 11/12/2012 - 11:18 | 2972401 fonzannoon
fonzannoon's picture

I don't think this matters. Apple will make money but looking forward they will be held hostage by the fact that the economy is cratering. People can't afford basic shit anymore. They will choke on their data plans. Sure the rich will keep buying their gadgets but it won't be enough. Besides the hedge funds are in liquidation mode regardless of product innovation. It's over.

Mon, 11/12/2012 - 11:23 | 2972426 adr
adr's picture

Cue the 5G Obamaphone with 10GB of data for anyone making under $15k a year.

Mon, 11/12/2012 - 11:27 | 2972441 yogibear
yogibear's picture

There is only creativeness the MBA suits can deliver through the layers of BS in their empires they create.

Mon, 11/12/2012 - 11:35 | 2972476 Agent P
Agent P's picture

You underestimate the power of SNAP. Go to your local Wal-Mart and take note of the high correlation between SNAP cards and smartphones.  Data plans are cheap when everything else is free!

Mon, 11/12/2012 - 11:37 | 2972495 machineh
machineh's picture

Can't I just download the SNAP app to my smartphone?

(Me so hungry!)

Mon, 11/12/2012 - 11:24 | 2972435 firstdivision
firstdivision's picture

Blackberry 10 looks promising.

Mon, 11/12/2012 - 11:24 | 2972436 dbTX
dbTX's picture

Who gives an iCrap ?

Mon, 11/12/2012 - 11:32 | 2972470 gyue
gyue's picture

FYI that new is a fake

Mon, 11/12/2012 - 11:33 | 2972474 Yen Cross
Yen Cross's picture

 I need visit the hardware store this week for(roach motels). The roaches are running in the streets, with little 3 piece suits on...

Mon, 11/12/2012 - 11:39 | 2972502 Calidreaming
Calidreaming's picture

Have you ever had Deja , Deja, Deja, Deja, Deja, Deja Vu?

Mon, 11/12/2012 - 11:42 | 2972517 Essential Nexus
Essential Nexus's picture

OMG six rows this time!!!!

Mon, 11/12/2012 - 11:42 | 2972518 _ConanTheLibert...
_ConanTheLibertarian_'s picture

Apple is slowly getting desperate...

Mon, 11/12/2012 - 12:05 | 2972608 dobermangang
dobermangang's picture

The next one needs to be made of gold and able to shoot lead.  I'll wait in line for one.

Mon, 11/12/2012 - 13:08 | 2972981 Matt
Matt's picture

The iGlock, with fully integrated magazine, you have to go see a "genius" to get it reloaded.

Mon, 11/12/2012 - 12:25 | 2972720 Fix It Again Timmy
Fix It Again Timmy's picture


Mon, 11/12/2012 - 12:31 | 2972742 SheepDog-One
SheepDog-One's picture

Soon you'll have to 'upgrade' every couple of weeks all your slew of electronic gadgets or else you'll just be a nerd laughingstock. ''ve still got LAST weeks iPhone? OMG LOL...NERD ALERT'!

Mon, 11/12/2012 - 12:31 | 2972743 SilverFish
SilverFish's picture

Pretty soon they'll be slapping "Super Mini iPad" stickers on all the old-new stock iPhone 3s.



Just watch em.

Mon, 11/12/2012 - 12:33 | 2972760 Mad Mohel
Mad Mohel's picture

Oh oh someone shit the bed! 3 month upgrade cycle? That's what happens when you are a greedy bastard and make a deal with the devil's phone company. They lock in the victim so that they will be raped for 2 years. They then expect the victim to accept more punishment in the form of penalty charges to buy some new shit every 12 weeks?

Somebody exhume Jobs, he would still do a better job than this asshat in charge now.

Mon, 11/12/2012 - 13:30 | 2973107 The.Oracle
The.Oracle's picture

Rally up bears, let's drive this baby into the fucking GROUND! I was looking at some data yesterday:

In 2004 Apple was at $19

In 2007 Apple was at $202 (~1000% increase)

In 2009 Apple was at $78 (~66% decrease)

In Sept 2012 Apple was at $700 (~900% increase)

It's time, bitchez! Hop aboard the equities crash express and ride this elevator to the promise land!

Mon, 11/12/2012 - 15:09 | 2973521 q99x2
q99x2's picture

Fuck AAPL I'm buying a $140 Android tablet and using my 2006 Nokia phone. Got the phone to work again with a little contact cleaner.

Do NOT follow this link or you will be banned from the site!