Quote Of The Day: "That Was Not A Joke"

Tyler Durden's picture

If one needs proof that after 3 years of being merely totally insolvent, Europe is now also world's greatest Bazooko circus in history, please fast forward to 24 minutes into the clip, where Europe's most pathological liar is now its most (in)voluntary comedian as well.

Question: Is the goal still to get Greece's debt to 120%?

Juncker: The fact is that the target of 120% will remain, but the target as far as the time frame is concerned has been postponed to 2022.

[Laughter in the room]

Juncker: That was not a joke!

Fast forward to 24:00

And cue Bazooko's Circus.

h/t Alex

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GetZeeGold's picture



I didn't mean too.

Chump's picture

Have you ever snorted oatmeal out of your nose?  My whole day is ruined.

Dalago's picture

Blackmailing countries, in this case a fucking continent, is never a joke.

dwdollar's picture

Some friendly advice for Juncker: If you don't want people to laugh at you, don't sound like a clown.

gmrpeabody's picture

Actually..., it really IS a joke!

redpill's picture

That laugh sounded suspiciously like Nigel Farage.

icanhasbailout's picture

"when it gets serious you have to lighten the mood with a bit of humor"


or something like that

Solid Gold Bubble's picture

They should have carried on laughing AFTER he said "That was not a joke" too. They all should have. Laughed this fucking clown right off the stage and into a jail cell. One can dream.

SeattleBruce's picture

True.  But better that they laughed at the absurdity of the comment, then sit there and take it - silently.  Someday that laughter will turn to pitchforks and torches though, surely.  But that'll be in a different venue, and may catch Juncker completely by surprise.

Chump's picture

Spot on.  He had an immediate visceral reaction to hearing base laughter in response to his profound utterings.

Pompous, self-important tyrants can't stand being laughed at, but laughter is the best response to the absurdity surrounding us.  Win-win.  There's the added benefit of feeling nice and refreshed when it is time to light fires and sharpen axe blades.

cossack55's picture

More than one continent.

MillionDollarBonus_'s picture

Top 10 ways to PROFIT from the global recovery:


1. Invest in Green Technologies


Green technologies remain the single greatest opportunity of the 21st century. As the world makes the transition to the green economy, savvy investors that invest in the right green energies will be handsomely rewarded. 


2. Invest in European Peripheral Debt


The European crisis has finally blown over, and the European economy is finally starting to pick up. However, the yields on peripheral bonds remain extremely attractive. Value investors that take advantage of this arbitrage will reap great rewards as the peripheries begin to balance their budgets and rebuild their economies.


3. Buy Undervalued Blue Chip Stocks 


Many of America's top blue chip companies are positioned to profit from the global recovery. Interest rates are lower than ever, which gives companies access to cheap credit to finance their operations, creating long-term sustainable growth.


4. Invest in Real Estate


Americans now have access to HARP which although it was meant for first time home buyers, there is a good chance that politicians will turn a blind eye to patriotic savvy investors looking to invest in America by buying a second or third home.

Dalago's picture

5.  Never take investment guidance from MDB.

GetZeeGold's picture



Dude......green is gonna turn green any day now.

SeattleBruce's picture

Let me close my eyes - I BELIEVE and SEE the GREEN shoots!  We're saved!

francis_sawyer's picture

 Top 10 ways to PROFIT from the global recovery (continued)


6. Join a cult & pledge your unwavering worship to Moloch

7. Crash an Eyes Wide Shut party & get fotos of partygoers performing acts of pedophilia

Vincent Vega's picture

8. Sign up for every bit of "free" shit the gubmint will give you.

9. Become a black market entrepreneur.

adr's picture

I thought you meant become Black

it will really help with #8

Dr. Richard Head's picture

I think many miss MDB's premise on his comments, as he forgets to posit who the investment is for.  If one believes a green technology investment is for the one parting with their money, they would be gravely mistaken.

JPM Hater001's picture

Shhh.  Dont tell him I stole 5-10.

jwoop66's picture

OK, MDB, now is when you say, "Dat vas not a joke".

Offthebeach's picture

( pissssst. Hey buddy. Over here. Hey...um....say...are you interested in a sure thing? I...I ...got windmills...free power.....well, not here, on me, there off shore...out there over the horizon. .... )

toady's picture

Isn't that the squids telemarketing script?

forwardho's picture

MDB is very,very. on the money. With the ironic twist, doing the opposite would be a good plan

Beam Me Up Scotty's picture

How's your FaceBook position doing MDB?  Are you dollar cost averaging?

Schmuck Raker's picture

Genius MDB.... sheer genius: 1 + 2 + 3 + 4 = 10!

"Top 10 ways..."

CPL's picture



You summarized the ECB shit show perfectly.  How to lose a fortune in 16 quarters.

illyia's picture

I did not actually read what you said. I just junked you on principle.

TheCanadianAustrian's picture

Please understand that there are more subtle forms of humor than farts and queefs.

RealFinney's picture

5. Deliver only 40% of what you promise.

Svendblaaskaeg's picture

1a: help big Al and your own investment, point at everything and say CAGW dunnit

Bansters-in-my- feces's picture

Hey MDB.... I didn't know that you knew about HAARP.

HAARP stands for High Frequency Active Aurorol Research Program.

HAARP is dangerous to us all.

S.A.G.....+ HAARP +Chemtrails= bad for us all

Tell your friends MDB.....

Thanks in advance.

ZackAttack3's picture

How has the European crisis blown over?  This is the dumbest comment of the week so far, congratulations.  Since everything you say is completely wrong, you must work for Goldman.  Everyone, please do the exact opposite of this. 

Ctrl_P's picture

If only you could get a full length article posted up.

THE DORK OF CORK's picture

Europe has moved from the Divine Right of Kings with in some cases full sov power.

To banking republics with some limited executive power remaining.

To modern extreme market states where countries cannot produce fiat to pay off the banking credit hyperinflation.


What a fucking sick nightmare.



This divine right of the King has been replaced by the banks divine right to speak gobbledygook to the masses......the entire 1648 thingy has turned in on itself.

Its a absurdity


Riche B. is correct within this current monetary framework

"this is not a pawnbroking business"

They are messing up the FIAT money supply to preserve their credit Kingdoms.


As is clear from the above video -  bank assets be it mortgages or fiscal debt on their asset side of their books is a mere conduit for extraction of a rent from the GOVERMENT MONEY SUPPLY

The assets have no intrinsic value .........its the legal right to extract which has value.

Spastica Rex's picture


Enjoy your future, peasant.

CPL's picture

And historically after that...


Lots of governments overthrown, Royality beheaded, Rise of Napoleon, The collapse of the French empire.  Fracturing of the Germanic states.  Only thing that kept England out of the shit then was Cromwell and his list of reforms and an infant Parlimentry system that offered a chance for lord and rich commoners to participate in government practices.  Italy was in the middle of becoming the technology center of the world.  Greece was greece.  Spain was paralysed with debts.  Portugual was still on the international stage and pushing on colonization needs.  Ireland and Scotland was at the start of the passive invasion of North America (kick a family tree and we're there).  


Once the old was dead and buried the next thing that happened was a technology boom of the real industrial era once populations adopted a DIY attitude.  Black Smiths became Machinists, Machinists became Engineers.  Masons became architects.  Weavers deployed the first primative computers and automation for loom work...and here we are today.  It took 80 years to get there from 1648 and lots of dead divinity at the end of a rope and peasants starving in a ditch to do it though.

People find a way, the trick is avoiding the cross fire while the reset is happening.

THE DORK OF CORK's picture

Cromwellian republics are Venetian banking republics.........to gain all those nice legal rights and stuff England and later the UK stripped Ireland and Scotland and turned large areas into sheep ranches.

I would prefer a Fiat King over such bad bastards.


This new European market state experiment is almost identical to its version of the nation state experiment of the 1600s when they decided to destroy what remains of the both the Gaelic and Norman tribal systems.

This time they are destroying the nation state system that they themselves( at least to some extent) created.


Some say Alan Breck spoke with a Cockney accent................



CPL's picture

Truth spoken, if the Queen doesn't have her hand deep in Canadian wallets you could colour me surprised.  


The reason it's not going to go anywhere though is energy.  Every society has an elephant in the room called the end of cheap energy.  To even entertain the notion of centralized anything in this world it requires alot of power.  The idea that Belgium would be heading up anything but fine chocolate, steak/fries, great beer and tiny disco floors 50 years ago was laughable, it's still just as a silly notion today.  This situation is a question of quick sand now.


Shrinking oil output, lower quality fuel, aging infrastructure that should have been replaced decades ago.  Once rolling blackouts hit, like Greece, Spain and Italy, more Europeans will understand that Belgium isn't qualified to organize a cat fight let alone an economy or the other 99.999% of the requirements to keep an economy healthy.  Like the league of Nations and soon to be ex-UN, ECB and even the US Central Federal system won't be around.  If they are, it'll be full of people giving orders and nobody paying attention to the crazy people.  Like all failed government structures it takes a while to shake the dead weight from the tree.


How that happens is anybody's guess.  I have faith the weak hands will die off and leave those of us standing with a slightly more tenancious attitude towards governance and technical solutions.  The human race in terms of history has never really been anything but a by-product of it's available technology and I would even throw art in that pile (everyone needs inspiration).  Governments are as disposable as tissue in a box.  Take one out, another one appears.  


No shortage of assholes and champions willing to lead, what we are seeing is an energy problem combined with an over population problem in Europe.  When in nature a population stabilizes with a herd, replacement is the way of things not expansion.  What fucked europe was a assuming there was anything worth expanding instead of maintaining.  The decisions made for immigration were based on greed and leverage.  The consequence of the action to maintain bond rates for pensions was invite religious goat herders to sit in the welfare systems and kick the door open to invite Nazies into every European country.


Hilter only required 8% of the popular vote to over run Europe and cause troubles for everyone for decades.  The Ayatollah only required religious wackadoos to change the shape of the Middle East.  European countries will have to figure something out for a third option soon because the only options now are the fourth reich or Islam. One of those two I suppose will rule Europe next.  Neither option is appealing for obvious reasons, unless Europeans learn how to tell them they are crazy and throw all of them out that's what they will end up with.


I don't fear the ECB or the Banks.  Toothless, pointless, valueless.  I fear crazy people that take their currency in blood and belief.

Spastica Rex's picture

It think it's going the other way, man.

Peak Enlightenment happend a long time ago.

CPL's picture



This might be up your alley.  technology development spurts aren't as given in half time to development.  Technology that is new takes hundreds of years to mature, it is the redevelopment of existing ideas that is quick because specializations develop around the tech itself.  Tech does hit the wall in terms of gains.  Think of computers, we literally have cpu internal processes nearly matching the speed of light.  That is the barrier.


So the tech might be available now, but it just hasn't matured in any relevant way to offer a solution.  In meanwhile we get front row seats to the shit show and record the passing of it while we hurry up and wait, watching fools attempting to burn down their own houses.