Rah, Rah, Rah And The European Cheerleaders

Tyler Durden's picture

Via Mark J. Grant, author of Out of the Box,

Listening to Rehn, Van Rompuy, Juncker and their cohorts is rather like listening to the cheerleaders at the football game and their advice on financial matters is probably right in-line with the knowledge of the cheerleaders; but then I don’t want to insult the cheerleaders. Everything is always “good, fine, hailed, welcomed” and the sunrise is always moments away which is fine except that we are approaching midnight and unless you happen to be in Finland the sun won’t be arriving anytime soon. These people are either smoking something, I swear, or they are off-worlders peering through rose colored glasses where the streets of Athens are regarded as the poppy fields of Oz. Everytime I read a comment from one of these people I shake my head and I wonder just which mood elevating drugs they are imbibing and how long they have been taking them.  They are out in some field past “money for nothing and chicks for free” where money not only grows in the trees but it is spent by the squirrels, hoarded by the antelopes and kumquats are the currency of exchange, for the moment, because money is hopelessly out of style this week; just ask Monsieur Hollande in Paris. As a matter of fact I have observed that there is a remarkable resemblance between Van Rompuy and one of the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders. The only difference that I can discern, in fact, is the extra can of hairspray that he uses.
Do you own any Greek bonds; ah, you are in for an exciting time ahead. Please consult with your doctor immediately and inquire about any drug that might be useful for lowering your blood pressure. I make no specific recommendations here but just suggest the inquiry. There is now talk and serious talk about a second round of “Private Sector Involvement” where Greece will offer you a few cents above the current market price for your bonds and if you don’t want to sell well; there will be a new retroactive collective action clause passed by the Greek government. If you think I am joking or pulling your leg I assure you that I am not. I told you, the banner slung across the Continent, “It Will Never Happen Again” had all of the truth of the proverbial, “the check is in the mail” and I will not continue with the other phrases appended to that statement. There are now discussions underway in Athens and Brussels to set all of this in motion as I remark that if it can happen in Greece it could take place in Madrid, Lisbon or some other capital in Europe. Standby, the newest round of continental merrymaking is about to begin. 
The economy is now so bad in Spain that if you buy a toaster they give you a bank.
Of course, if you are a masochist, this is a perfect situation for you. Sell all of your American bonds and anything denominated in Dollars and make yourself feel good. Whips, chains, self-flagellation; this is your moment! Load up on European bonds, Spanish bonds, Greek bonds and especially the debt of Athens. By the way, I think Britain has it all wrong. I am absolutely in favor of an increased budget for the European Union. I think vast sums should be spent on fancy breakfasts, grand lunches, high teas with crumpets, especially crumpets, and sumptuous dinners. I am sure these people have some civility and, since it is not polite to speak with your mouth is full; we would all be much better off. Of course, this might not work, it appears that the people in Brussels share a common belief about safe relations; just lock the car door.
Europe officially entered into a recession it was just announced this morning. The economy in Europe is so bad now that a picture is only worth two hundred words. The Europeans blame everything on the ratings agencies lately. There is some wisdom to this. “Moody” is how they are feeling and “Standard & Poor” is what they will be feeling soon. Recently in Spain it was reported that a teacher asked one of her students what his father did for a living. The little boy said his father did a striptease in one of the clubs in Madrid. The teacher was shocked and asked if this was true. The young fellow said, “No, he is the head of corporate credit for Bankia but I am too embarrassed to tell anyone.” Finally I can report that the European recession is causing a lot of confusion. Recently one of the television stations in Greece asked a man in Athens if he knew what city was the capitol of the country. He said, “Of course; about 70 Euros.”

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GetZeeGold's picture



Nevermind the walls of fire and clouds of teargas.....just look over here.


These are not the droids you're looking for.

mrktwtch2's picture

obama i s going to let the fiscal cliff happen so he and the liberal media  will blame the republicans i bought some 1220 spx puts in jan on the day after the election and have almost tripled my money..(should have gone all in ..lol)

GetZeeGold's picture



They're evil.....but in a wicked smart sort of way.

PhilB's picture

Well this guy doesnt know squat about Greek Bonds. Once again an uniformed boob posting his ramblings instead of checking the facts. Fact is the bonds being considered for a debt swap already are the restructured bonds and contain CACs (Collective Action Clauses) and are governed by foreign law so they cannot be retroactively modified. If they use the CACs they can only do so as currently defined.

ziggy59's picture

Bricka Bracka Fiirecracker
Sis Boom Bah
Bugs Bunny Bugs Bunny
Rah Rah Rah!

They dont make 'tunes like they used to..

Yeah yeah, iTunes doesnt count and our leaders are cartoons, but not funny.

Zero Govt's picture

but the toon for this article was very funny

new game's picture

the game will go on until the faith in fiat is exhausted and no one will take it for food.

And, i would not want to be directing traffic.

GetZeeGold's picture



The real question is......how much faith is actually left? The game has always been about faith since 1971.

new game's picture

faith/fiat quantity = reality

peekcrackers's picture

silver / gold/food /ammo = crazy

it's a mixed up muddled up shook up world ,said Lola

CH1's picture

how much faith is actually left?

I don't think it's about faith any more. Rather, it's about fear, denial and hoping for magic.

A lot of people know in their gut that the system is screwed, but since they are unprepared to deal with that, they hang on and repeat hopeful slogans as if they were prayers.

Fingers-in-ears, they turn their faces away from reality, hoping that it will be gone when they turn their heads back.

buzzsaw99's picture

pardon me, would you have any grey poupon?

GetZeeGold's picture



A 1964 silver dime....and it's all yours. We're all about rolling back prices.

CH1's picture

Okay buzzsaw, I hate your icon, but you get a big up arrow for the hysterical reference!

Zero Govt's picture

the only way I can make Buzzsaws icon seem a little more comfortable is imagining it's Barney Frank at an all-over hair body waxing

BeaverFever's picture

My ex is a Vice President at the Bank of Canada.

She's really a stripper at Glory Holes R Us but I was ashamed to tell the truth...

Howdan's picture

All I'm saying is ...................... #EuroClusterfuck

LongSoupLine's picture



Specifically, like listening to the Jets cheerleaders saying their having a great season.  Fuck those lying asshooles.



plaspotje's picture

and yet that euro has not ever reached its starting point 1.17 to the dollar  , are they better bullshitter or  is the usa in worse shape

CH1's picture

Actually, The Euro was well below the dollar in 99.

I had some GREAT deals on travel.

eddiebe's picture

Even the plebes are starting to figure out what the banksters are up to. Class warfare has begun in earnest. Images of Robspierre and Hitler and Stalin come to mind.

timbo_em's picture

Bank bail-ins and PSI coming to a country near you!

caimen garou's picture

exlax,exlax, open that hole, come on europe,sell your soul!

youngman's picture

And these numbers are last quarters numbers more or less...its worse now...and the people are making life changes...which will make it worse..they are accepting a 10 year malaise....and it shall be

zorba THE GREEK's picture

The Euro won't drop dramatically until they start a massive bailout.

At that point, it will be obvious they have put their printers into overdrive.

kaiten's picture

I dont know about europeans blaming EVERYTHING on the rating agencies. You must be smoking too much, lately.

Non Passaran's picture

IIRC it's the eurozone, not the EU, that entered a recession in Q3. 

Not that it matters anyway. By now they're both in a recession.

Let's see some serious riots, shall we?!

Miles Kendig's picture

If after all this time working downtown the head of corporate credit at Bankia had learned more about stripping headers from transfers than stripping his knickers before transfers he wouldn't be working at Bankia, he'd be working at HSBC.

cowpieflapjack's picture

For a brief moment there I thought the sentence said Moody and Spaniard and Poor.

Qualitative Tightening's picture

“Moody” is how they are feeling and “(sub)Standard & Poor(er)” is what they will be feeling soon.