There Is No Dollar Sign On Your Piece Of Mind

Tyler Durden's picture

Via Mark J. Grant, author of Out of the Box,

“If you can keep your head when all about you are losing theirs; maybe you just don't understand the situation.”
 
                      -The Wizard
 
In a word, this weekend, next week, we are facing what the boys in the South call “chicken fried.” This is the moment when the ingredients lounging in your kitchen get tossed in the frying pan and are cooked up with grease (perhaps Greece) splattering everywhere and some concoction that is decidedly unhealthy for you is tossed upon your plate. The antacids here are care, precaution and preparation because everything on this menu is far out of your control and all that you can do is act now or react later. You may think all of this will proceed ahead in the “Great Muddle” but maybe not and it is exactly there, at the “maybe not” where I stand and provide instructions for proceeding through some type of feeding frenzy that could be disastrous for your health and the health of your portfolios.
 
“You don’t get to the top of the food chain by being a vegetarian but then you don’t survive by eating rancid meat either. I suggest that you begin using your nose to sniff.”
 
              -The Sage, Mr. Trooper
 
A week ago the menu consisted of the Capitol Grill of America’s Fiscal Cliff, the red wine (perhaps whine) of Spain and the seemingly never ending fried in olive oil mess provided by both Athens and Brussels. That would have been enough “Opa” for anyone as plates get smashed and people whirl around on some table like dervishes but now we have a new option on the menu, a special provided by the Great Chef in the sky. We get to throw in the latkes of Israel and the hummus provided by Hamas. Any of these menu selections could provide severe heartburn all by themselves but eaten together; a hospital stay may be required or a plot at the cemetery.
 
“If they are having problems with the Gaza Strip they should call Warsaw and ask for a Pole.”
 
                       -Incorrectly attributed to Nancy Pelosi
 
There are tanks now massing on Israel’s border with Gaza. What do you think; ornamentation, the Israeli Grand Prix, an artistic embellishment of the “mortar and pestle?” Has it dawned upon you that tanks move, that they will soon be moving across the border and somehow, in my Kansas City mind, it is my opinion that the Palestinians’ will not regard them as the “Welcome Wagons.” I must admit that I find my own government’s response something of an enigma. If Tijuana had lobbed 275 missiles into Texas  during the last three days would Brussels and Beijing be offering condolences and asking us to show restraint or would the Marines be mopping up the tacos in the place recently occupied by that Mexican town. Now even the Egyptians want to get involved. They have a new plan I am told but then Pyramid Schemes don’t often work.
 
“If Mr. McMurphy doesn't want to take his medication orally, I'm sure we can arrange that he can have it some other way. But I don't think that he would like it.”
 
               -One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest
 
On November 20 we have a different type of food festival. The IMF wants to stick to the old four courses while the EU wants to extend the dinner to five courses. No one can afford either and Greece will be happy if someone, anyone picks up the tab but them. It is a funny thing about eating, someone has to pay for the food eventually and paying off the feta cheese with the gyros is a venue with a certain end.  Then Spain has politely but firmly rejected Brussels’s dinner invitation which is fine until there is nothing left in the pantry; a reality coming soon. In America the entire country is about to perform the national bungee jump and while it may be exciting to watch we shall all wait and see if the cord frays. Three dining events, one after dinner great American show and Las Vegas doesn’t get better than this!