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There Is No Dollar Sign On Your Piece Of Mind

Tyler Durden's picture




 

Via Mark J. Grant, author of Out of the Box,

“If you can keep your head when all about you are losing theirs; maybe you just don't understand the situation.”
 
                      -The Wizard
 
In a word, this weekend, next week, we are facing what the boys in the South call “chicken fried.” This is the moment when the ingredients lounging in your kitchen get tossed in the frying pan and are cooked up with grease (perhaps Greece) splattering everywhere and some concoction that is decidedly unhealthy for you is tossed upon your plate. The antacids here are care, precaution and preparation because everything on this menu is far out of your control and all that you can do is act now or react later. You may think all of this will proceed ahead in the “Great Muddle” but maybe not and it is exactly there, at the “maybe not” where I stand and provide instructions for proceeding through some type of feeding frenzy that could be disastrous for your health and the health of your portfolios.
 
“You don’t get to the top of the food chain by being a vegetarian but then you don’t survive by eating rancid meat either. I suggest that you begin using your nose to sniff.”
 
              -The Sage, Mr. Trooper
 
A week ago the menu consisted of the Capitol Grill of America’s Fiscal Cliff, the red wine (perhaps whine) of Spain and the seemingly never ending fried in olive oil mess provided by both Athens and Brussels. That would have been enough “Opa” for anyone as plates get smashed and people whirl around on some table like dervishes but now we have a new option on the menu, a special provided by the Great Chef in the sky. We get to throw in the latkes of Israel and the hummus provided by Hamas. Any of these menu selections could provide severe heartburn all by themselves but eaten together; a hospital stay may be required or a plot at the cemetery.
 
“If they are having problems with the Gaza Strip they should call Warsaw and ask for a Pole.”
 
                       -Incorrectly attributed to Nancy Pelosi
 
There are tanks now massing on Israel’s border with Gaza. What do you think; ornamentation, the Israeli Grand Prix, an artistic embellishment of the “mortar and pestle?” Has it dawned upon you that tanks move, that they will soon be moving across the border and somehow, in my Kansas City mind, it is my opinion that the Palestinians’ will not regard them as the “Welcome Wagons.” I must admit that I find my own government’s response something of an enigma. If Tijuana had lobbed 275 missiles into Texas  during the last three days would Brussels and Beijing be offering condolences and asking us to show restraint or would the Marines be mopping up the tacos in the place recently occupied by that Mexican town. Now even the Egyptians want to get involved. They have a new plan I am told but then Pyramid Schemes don’t often work.
 
“If Mr. McMurphy doesn't want to take his medication orally, I'm sure we can arrange that he can have it some other way. But I don't think that he would like it.”
 
               -One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest
 
On November 20 we have a different type of food festival. The IMF wants to stick to the old four courses while the EU wants to extend the dinner to five courses. No one can afford either and Greece will be happy if someone, anyone picks up the tab but them. It is a funny thing about eating, someone has to pay for the food eventually and paying off the feta cheese with the gyros is a venue with a certain end.  Then Spain has politely but firmly rejected Brussels’s dinner invitation which is fine until there is nothing left in the pantry; a reality coming soon. In America the entire country is about to perform the national bungee jump and while it may be exciting to watch we shall all wait and see if the cord frays. Three dining events, one after dinner great American show and Las Vegas doesn’t get better than this!

 

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Fri, 11/16/2012 - 10:40 | 2987564 Newsboy
Newsboy's picture

Last call for Chicken-Fried-Twinkies!

Fri, 11/16/2012 - 10:42 | 2987570 Manthong
Manthong's picture

A Twinkie used to help bring me peace of mind,, now that’s gone, too.

Fri, 11/16/2012 - 11:15 | 2987732 Ident 7777 economy
Ident 7777 economy's picture

There is always Blue Bell ice cream ...

Fri, 11/16/2012 - 12:28 | 2988145 Popo
Popo's picture

Stop spelling "peace" correctly.  We don't want to make the author feel bad.

Fri, 11/16/2012 - 10:42 | 2987572 CrimsonAvenger
CrimsonAvenger's picture

Overly clever writing can really obscure whatever the hell it is you're trying to say.

Fri, 11/16/2012 - 10:52 | 2987619 Number 156
Number 156's picture

With all the money in the world, nobody can buy for himself peace of mind.

Its really because of hurricane sandy.

Fri, 11/16/2012 - 11:03 | 2987667 toady
toady's picture

I thought it was all Obamas fault....

Or was that W?

Fri, 11/16/2012 - 10:44 | 2987582 kito
kito's picture

sorry mr. grant but all of the "exciting" things happen precisely when there is no anticipation or expectation for such events.......only when people are lulled into complete complacency do things then get "exciting".............

fiscal cliff.....yawn

potential major israeli/gaza conflict.......yawn

greece defaulting this month......yawn

Fri, 11/16/2012 - 10:47 | 2987594 frenchie
frenchie's picture

“If they are having problems with the Gaza Strip they should call Warsaw and ask for a Pole.”

 

0.0

wtf is that suppose to mean ???

Fri, 11/16/2012 - 11:50 | 2987894 ultraticum
ultraticum's picture

As in dancer, maybe?

Fri, 11/16/2012 - 10:47 | 2987598 Number 156
Number 156's picture

And Americans would still vote Obama (if they could) in 2016.

Fri, 11/16/2012 - 11:52 | 2987901 ultraticum
ultraticum's picture

Don't rule out the constitutional amendment which will make that a reality.  On second thought, he could just legislate it with an executive order, right?

Fri, 11/16/2012 - 10:56 | 2987623 Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture

    "There are tanks now massing on Israel’s border with Gaza  

 

Best thing we could do is throw up our hands and say fight it out boys. We will watch from over here. Make sure to publish plenty of pictures of drone strikes and explosions for the masses on tv.

Fri, 11/16/2012 - 11:05 | 2987674 fuu
fuu's picture

Perfect time to deploy some AGM-154s.

Fri, 11/16/2012 - 10:58 | 2987642 Village Smithy
Village Smithy's picture

Kevin must have been out celebrating his big stick save/buy my future employers stocks with middle America's money success last night. He's late for work.

Fri, 11/16/2012 - 10:59 | 2987647 toady
toady's picture

I'm sorry, but the only thing I pay in-depth attention to anymore is finance, and a little local (mostly weather) news.

A few key words, nuclear, and phrases, superpower & middle east, etc, will catch my attention occasionally.

No, the big news will be financial collapse, and anything else is a distraction or camouflage for finance.

Fri, 11/16/2012 - 11:15 | 2987731 A Lunatic
A Lunatic's picture

I can understand 'out of the box thinking' but this is more like 'out of the box, rolled underneath the breakfast buffet and fell through a little crack into the crawlspace'................

Fri, 11/16/2012 - 11:24 | 2987763 NoDebt
NoDebt's picture

Wait..... what?

I couldn't get past "Piece of Mind" in the title.  Isn't the phrase "PEACE of Mind"??  Maybe the author intended full-frontal incoherence from start to finish.  Or maybe the simplest explanation is the correct one....

In any case, I want the last 3 minutes of my life back, please.

 

Fri, 11/16/2012 - 12:06 | 2987983 toady
toady's picture

I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy.

Fri, 11/16/2012 - 11:28 | 2987783 Winston Churchill
Winston Churchill's picture

Obvoiusly started drinking early today.

Vodka, breakfast of champions.

Maybe thats why he refered to the Pole.

Fri, 11/16/2012 - 11:32 | 2987803 SKY85hawk
SKY85hawk's picture

Bungee jump?

Someone's not thinking clearly.

-$100 billion out of 3.4 trillion is a teensy  2.9 percent.

A government estimate for a WHOLE year.

Most of us have suffered losses closer to 29%.

I doubt Pelosi and Boner will have to suffer.

 

Why shouldn't some goverment employees share the pain?

Fri, 11/16/2012 - 11:32 | 2987806 whotookmyalias
whotookmyalias's picture

You forgot the music reference:

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OaR2JeqxQDY

 

 

Fri, 11/16/2012 - 11:36 | 2987820 serog
serog's picture

Hooray, puns!  I see what you did there.

Fri, 11/16/2012 - 12:29 | 2988151 scaleindependent
scaleindependent's picture

Mark J. Grant is an idiot, with an idiotic blog.

 

For example "If Tijuana had lobbed 275 missiles into Texas  during the last three days would Brussels and Beijing be offering condolences and asking us to show restraint or would the Marines be mopping up the tacos in the place recently occupied by that Mexican town"

Why are you forgetting to state that Israel first killed the Gaza leader. Let me correct your anology.  If Mexico had killed our leader in a car bombing, then we would also send over 275 missiles into TJ. 

This guy is trying to be too clever by half and in the process is making an ass out of himself.

 

Fri, 11/16/2012 - 13:06 | 2988354 whotookmyalias
whotookmyalias's picture

Not to miss your point becasue I totally get it, but the absurdity of the comment for those of us who live directly across the border from Tijuana is that Tijuana is not a country and is nowhere near Texas.  LOL.

Fri, 11/16/2012 - 12:54 | 2988300 Auric Goldfinger
Auric Goldfinger's picture

 

"If Tijuana had lobbed 275 missiles into Texas..."

That'd be one hell of a lob.

 

 

Sat, 11/17/2012 - 02:21 | 2991030 Radical Marijuana
Radical Marijuana's picture

It is the combination the insight and prose like in this article which are the reasons why I tend to prefer to read things on the Zero Hedge Web site! Even the critical comments are mostly refreshing, or at least entertaining, compared to the vast majority of the material on the mass media, which I feel obliged to look at, from time to time.

Sat, 11/17/2012 - 08:47 | 2991339 overmedicatedun...
overmedicatedundersexed's picture

our sec state is hard at work in the ME ...not that anyone can find her..must be going comando with spec ops halo jumps.

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