This page has been archived and commenting is disabled.

Today's "Fiscal Cliff Compromise" Moment Brought To You By The Congressional Short Squeeze Inception Team

Tyler Durden's picture


Once again the market falls for the politicians' snake oil (as we explained before). Unconvinced? This is what none other than "Fiscal Cliff compromise is imminent" photo op participant Nancy Pelosi said moments later to the WSJ:

Ms. Pelosi said. "I was focusing on how we send a message of confidence to consumers, to the markets in the short run, too."

And there you have it from the horse's mouth: absolutely nothing of actual substance in today's presser which was completely hollow of anything remotely resembling an actual compromise, but merely the same type of  Euro-propaganda we have grown to loath and despise for the past 3 years, where a flashing red headline was supposed to generate a short squeeze. It succeeded.

There is one open question: did Nancy Pelosi's multi-millionaire investor husband Paul Pelosi know ahead of time what the announcement would say, and did he buy any securities in hopes of a "short run" gain?


- advertisements -

Comment viewing options

Select your preferred way to display the comments and click "Save settings" to activate your changes.
Fri, 11/16/2012 - 15:56 | 2989221 redpill
redpill's picture

I'm sure you were, you inside trading cuntface.


Fri, 11/16/2012 - 15:56 | 2989229 Temporis
Temporis's picture

Ms. Pelosi is indeed a horse.

Fri, 11/16/2012 - 15:57 | 2989239 NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture

Wait, she spoke an honest sentence?

Wow, she must be off her meds!

Fri, 11/16/2012 - 16:02 | 2989263 MillionDollarBogus_
MillionDollarBogus_'s picture

Pelosi is speaking in code.

She used the word 'short', which is a secret...(well, was as secret)..signal to short the markets.

Had she used the word 'long', it would have been the buy signal...

If she ever uses the word 'liquid', then you sell

Fri, 11/16/2012 - 16:07 | 2989305 Richard Chesler
Richard Chesler's picture

A message of cuntfidence.

Should be no problem for the thieving whore.


Fri, 11/16/2012 - 16:12 | 2989335 jcaz
jcaz's picture

Horses' mouth?   With Nancy, that's 180 degrees off......

Now I see why Corzine isn't sweating a thing.....


Fri, 11/16/2012 - 17:08 | 2989617 TruthInSunshine
TruthInSunshine's picture

Of course her husband, herself & all her cat-eyed, face lifted friends & relatives positioned themselves well ahead of today's pre-planned meaningless dribble-fest.

At any rate, there have to be up days that provide exit points for the big dump that is already underway. 50 or 100 or 365 or 3,560 consecutive down days (i.e. Nikkei extrapolated/condensed over 23 years) wouldn't let the holders of large batches of ticker symbols do an orderly unwind, right?

For those who don't have Mrs. Pelosi's inside network, there's an all clear to short the ever living shit out vacuous and vaporous tickers/confetti since we're actually in a depression if one were to deduct deficit spending, consider the number of Americans surviving based on federal and state direct transfer payments of one form or many (SNAP-EBT, SSI, Social Security, Medicare-Medicaid, UI, extended UI, etc.), subtract the number (in percentage terms) of government employees at the federal, state and local unit levels we now have versus that which we had in the 1920's run-up to The Great Depression, calculate the true, broad rate of unemployment/signficant underemployment & also the true decline in the labor force participation rate, account for the % of GDP that is actually present due to inflation versus increased consumption or productivity, consider the relative composition of consumption by private economic actors versus governmental or quasi-governmental ones, and do even a rough calculation as to how much government consumption that's now 44% funded by deficit spending is comprising total GDP.

Recoupling, brah.

Fri, 11/16/2012 - 17:15 | 2989652 Rathmullan
Rathmullan's picture

pelosi galore's short run = the time it takes her husband to sell his stock --all of which were purchased on inside information

Fri, 11/16/2012 - 17:17 | 2989662 Atlas_shrugging
Atlas_shrugging's picture

Please.  That type of behavior would be considered crony capitalism.  Not in the USA...never.

Fri, 11/16/2012 - 18:30 | 2989890 Michaelwiseguy
Michaelwiseguy's picture

Pelosi Cuntfidence is a subjective mindset not based in reality. I hate that fucking bitch.

Fri, 11/16/2012 - 21:08 | 2990325 Ident 7777 economy
Ident 7777 economy's picture

That statement is not very clear ... spoken by the 'master' of such phrases, however (Michael).

Fri, 11/16/2012 - 18:09 | 2989837 WhiteNight123129
WhiteNight123129's picture

desperation is profound on this blog.... <nervous laugh>

Fri, 11/16/2012 - 16:00 | 2989256 FL_Conservative
FL_Conservative's picture

I think Tyler typoed there. It was supposed to be the whores' mouths.

Fri, 11/16/2012 - 21:09 | 2990333 stocktivity
stocktivity's picture

Talks today were "constructive".  "Constructive" was the Bullshit word of the day that jacked up the market. By the way...It's all Bullshit!

Fri, 11/16/2012 - 16:01 | 2989259 CClarity
CClarity's picture

When will they give up on the "wealth effect" already?  Hasn't been working for some time now.

Fri, 11/16/2012 - 16:08 | 2989312 1100-TACTICAL-12
1100-TACTICAL-12's picture

I feel more confident , Thanks Nancy.

Fri, 11/16/2012 - 16:11 | 2989325 pods
pods's picture

Reading Nancy Pelosi and Short Squeeze in the same article makes me turtle.


Fri, 11/16/2012 - 16:39 | 2989488 insanelysane
insanelysane's picture

Everyone except MDB became an innie for at least a few minutes.

Fri, 11/16/2012 - 16:02 | 2989276 takeaction
takeaction's picture

Watch....I am going to say Dow (-64) by close today.  Everyday this market has been gamed by the ones still sitting at the black jack table.  I refuse to play. 

Fri, 11/16/2012 - 15:57 | 2989241 slaughterer
slaughterer's picture

Pelosi and her HF hub own more AAPL than Fidelity at this point.  Shouldn't make you wonder she is worried about financing her next face lift with AAPL in a tailspin.  

Fri, 11/16/2012 - 16:39 | 2989493 insanelysane
insanelysane's picture

She will announce free Obama iPads and then sell.

Fri, 11/16/2012 - 16:43 | 2989516 adr
adr's picture

She should have sold at $715 and gone for the whole total body makeover. Complete new face, tits, butt, maybe vocal cord modulation. If we have to listen to the queen of the crab people, at least she could make it bearable.

Fri, 11/16/2012 - 17:09 | 2989625 John Law Lives
John Law Lives's picture

There is not enough botox on the planet to make that crone look presentable.

Fri, 11/16/2012 - 15:59 | 2989252 Mactheknife
Mactheknife's picture

LMAO....Nah, she's just trying to give everyone one last chance to get out before this thing goes bidless.

Fri, 11/16/2012 - 17:02 | 2989598 Richard Head
Richard Head's picture

If there's one person in the world who deserves to be called a cunt, it's Pelosi.

Fri, 11/16/2012 - 21:27 | 2990383 Eireann go Brach
Eireann go Brach's picture


Sat, 11/17/2012 - 00:54 | 2990902 MrBoompi
MrBoompi's picture

Republican hypocrites are the biggest douchebags on the planet

Fuck you

Mon, 11/19/2012 - 08:14 | 2995444 mtomato2
mtomato2's picture


Off-topic much?

Fri, 11/16/2012 - 15:57 | 2989223 Temporis
Temporis's picture


Fri, 11/16/2012 - 15:59 | 2989233 SheepDog-One
SheepDog-One's picture

'Be confident out there, oh great some stawks'

Drawing and quartering by horses for 'Ms. Pelosi' would be far too humane.

Fri, 11/16/2012 - 16:13 | 2989339 Bay of Pigs
Bay of Pigs's picture

Listening to anything she says just confirms how absolutely fucked the country is going forward.

What a despicable and obnoxious human being she is.

Fri, 11/16/2012 - 16:30 | 2989447 XitSam
XitSam's picture

Nancy is communicating a message. She is focused on sending a message of confidence. I have confidence this is all going to end badly.

Fri, 11/16/2012 - 18:19 | 2989869 dracos_ghost
dracos_ghost's picture

And yet the algos gobbled it up and the shorts pussied out.

Say whatever you want -- advantage Pelosi. May she rot in fucking hell. But advantage to her none the less.

So for the next two weeks, the "pundits" will socialize "all is well with the fiscal cliff" on the Sunday talk show circuit and people will scream to get back in the market. Every down tick will have a glorious newsflash as a kick save ala Eurodaze.

Sheeple deserve to be fleeced. Gimme my fucking Obama phone dammit.

Fri, 11/16/2012 - 15:58 | 2989240 Fancy_Piglosi
Fancy_Piglosi's picture

I was pumpin and dumpin bitchez!

Fri, 11/16/2012 - 16:41 | 2989500 insanelysane
insanelysane's picture

not with a picture of madame piglosi nearby

Fri, 11/16/2012 - 16:02 | 2989260 Ineverslice
Ineverslice's picture


haaaa!'bout, Black Friday comes a week early.

Dear God lady, what is your excuse?

Fri, 11/16/2012 - 16:01 | 2989266 azengrcat
azengrcat's picture

The Pelosi's were running low on Bollinger and Cubans.  They hit the Muppet ATM for some moar benanks.  

Fri, 11/16/2012 - 16:03 | 2989270 spooz
spooz's picture

  Bank of America is counting on the stock market vigilantes to force a deal.  Gotta keep those banks afloat.

Fri, 11/16/2012 - 16:07 | 2989304 Quinvarius
Quinvarius's picture

I don't care what they call themselves.  They are giving me INTC at 20 with a 4.5% yield going into an upgrade cycle as it retests a breakout from a multi-year trading range.

Fri, 11/16/2012 - 16:09 | 2989313 Quinvarius
Quinvarius's picture


Fri, 11/16/2012 - 16:27 | 2989410 spooz
spooz's picture

yup, the tail wagging the dog.

Fri, 11/16/2012 - 16:54 | 2989564 jomama
jomama's picture

wish there was a source of this that wasn't some right-wingbat website...

Fri, 11/16/2012 - 16:04 | 2989280 Cursive
Cursive's picture

The Market.  The Market.  The Market.  The Market.

The Market.  The Market.  The Market.  The Market.

The Market.  The Market.  The Market.  The Market.  The Market.

The Market.  The Market.  The Market.  The Market.  The Market.

The Market.  The Market.  The Market.  The Market.  The Market.

The Market.  The Market.  The Market.  The Market.  The Market.

The Market.  The Market.  The Market.  The Market.  The Market.

The Market.  The Market.  The Market.  The Market.  The Market.

Fri, 11/16/2012 - 16:47 | 2989529 Water Is Wet
Water Is Wet's picture

Because "the system."

Fri, 11/16/2012 - 16:03 | 2989284 azzhatter
azzhatter's picture

every time I see this ugly old bitch I think that some man has actually fucked that thing. Then I go puke

Fri, 11/16/2012 - 16:42 | 2989513 AlaricBalth
AlaricBalth's picture

Thanks Azz. I cannot un-visualize that now. Could create some issues for me this weekend.

Fri, 11/16/2012 - 16:04 | 2989286 Quinvarius
Quinvarius's picture

Obviously they have figured out that a tax raise in a depression is a shitty idea and are trying to erase all memory of the fact they ever brought it up.

Fri, 11/16/2012 - 16:05 | 2989294 Cursive
Cursive's picture


No doubt, but how do you cut services without major social unrest?  Rock, meet hard place.

Fri, 11/16/2012 - 16:12 | 2989329 Quinvarius
Quinvarius's picture

This problem can only be dealt with by making it bigger.  Sociopolitick 101.  I am being sincere.

Fri, 11/16/2012 - 16:42 | 2989510 insanelysane
insanelysane's picture

They're weasels.  They are strategizing to kick the can down the road.  See EuroZone playbook 2008 to present.

Fri, 11/16/2012 - 16:05 | 2989289 Yen Cross
Yen Cross's picture

 The Middle East is about to blow it's brains out, and Europe is imploding. It's all good though. Two sock puppets in D.C. were able to sit in the same room together, and agree to agree about sitting in the same room again...

Fri, 11/16/2012 - 16:08 | 2989307 slaughterer
slaughterer's picture

Yen Cross, Obama wanted to serve Boehner a birthday cake today!  Bullish!

Fri, 11/16/2012 - 16:26 | 2989419 Lewshine
Lewshine's picture

Look at all those bold buyers coming in the market in the last hour, after it already fell from today's highs, they must know something the rest of don't!! That should add to confidence too!

Fri, 11/16/2012 - 16:08 | 2989292 HD
HD's picture

If the best a short squeeze can do is get you flat on the day - they better add more cowbell next time.

BTW Mrs. HD got us some the last remaining Twinkies - I haven't had one in more than 20 years.  Don't take your diabetes inducing snack food for granted people.

Fri, 11/16/2012 - 16:06 | 2989300 youngman
youngman's picture

funny how they think having a market at 1350 or 1400 makes everything all OK.....

Fri, 11/16/2012 - 16:07 | 2989301 slaughterer
slaughterer's picture

NFLX, Brent, Israel CDS until Dec 31st.  That is the sum total of my portfolio.   I have learned my lesson.  

Fri, 11/16/2012 - 16:14 | 2989347 a growing concern
a growing concern's picture

You may want to start adding a sizeable position in methamphetamine as well. Just in case.

Fri, 11/16/2012 - 16:46 | 2989526 mayhem_korner
mayhem_korner's picture



Gold, silver, a year's supply of sustainability, 1200 servings of prescription-skimmed xanax, cases of shells, and the rest is in foreign currencies, ag and energy production stocks or buried in an un-named location.  :)

Fri, 11/16/2012 - 16:51 | 2989552 adr
adr's picture

NFLX better hope all the EBTers got new credit cards. A lot of them figured out you can constantly get 30 days free by using new VISA pre-paids each time. The Netflix system will check if the card has enough of a balance to pay for the service, then you use up the balance on the card, when Netflix tries to charge the card for the next month it gets denied.

It's like printing free money. Hastings doesn't care since he gets to say the service added X new users every month.

The scam goes on.

Fri, 11/16/2012 - 16:08 | 2989308 fijisailor
fijisailor's picture


Fri, 11/16/2012 - 16:37 | 2989478 The Master
The Master's picture

Fiji, that would entail punishing herself. Not gonna happen!

Fri, 11/16/2012 - 16:08 | 2989310 Spastica Rex
Spastica Rex's picture






The "market" is a just one of the grifters' tools. 

Fri, 11/16/2012 - 16:14 | 2989334 LongSoupLine
LongSoupLine's picture





CONgress had a CONference to CONnect on issues in order to come to a CONclusion on the eCONomy.

Fri, 11/16/2012 - 16:09 | 2989315 Moneyswirth
Moneyswirth's picture

 to the markets in the short run, too.

That's great, so what she's saying is that our government has the same mentality as CNBC's Fast Money.  Good to know.

Fri, 11/16/2012 - 16:09 | 2989317 themacronavigator
themacronavigator's picture

the market was due a bounce anyway. the effect of "red bars" is not what it used to be like. let's take that away from this week.


Fri, 11/16/2012 - 16:10 | 2989318 mayhem_korner
mayhem_korner's picture

And there you have it from the horse's mouth: absolutely nothing of actual substance in today's presser


The only thing of substance that could possibly come out of Ms. Pelosi's mouth is some rehypothecated twinkie filling.

Fri, 11/16/2012 - 16:13 | 2989319 slaughterer
slaughterer's picture

Whatever the case, Pelosi was effective.  On a day when there is WWIII breaking out where we all knew it wuld break out,.  Quite a feat.    Even Ackman is grateful.  

Fri, 11/16/2012 - 16:11 | 2989324 vote_libertaria...
vote_libertarian_party's picture



EVERYBODY new what the 4 were going to say.


"We're working hard.  A deal is possible. bla bla bla"



Fri, 11/16/2012 - 16:11 | 2989327 ptoemmes
ptoemmes's picture

Maybe all she, or anyone else for that matter, has to do is "crack the code" so to speak so the news-in-data-feeds provide the keywords the algos will react too.

Would seem to be a novel way to (further) manipulate things?

Obama, Boehner, fiscal, cliff, compromise,...

Perhaps creating-and-cancelling orders is old school...

Fri, 11/16/2012 - 16:12 | 2989331 Village Smithy
Village Smithy's picture

Someone here yesterday said that AAPL was flirting with the 400's and I thought they were crazy. I think when it dove towards that this AM someone stepped in big time.

Fri, 11/16/2012 - 16:14 | 2989345 slaughterer
slaughterer's picture

AAPL $4xx?  Nah... go LONG AAPL like me and KAss. Make $$$.  Leave the prepper world for the Bollinger world.   We live bette.  

Fri, 11/16/2012 - 16:17 | 2989361 fonzannoon
fonzannoon's picture

Doug Kass is a total fucking moron. I know you are sharp as a tack. Don't throw yourself in there with him.

Fri, 11/16/2012 - 16:22 | 2989391 slaughterer
slaughterer's picture

Fonza, Dougie ain't the idiot you think. Just a little off on his TIMING.  Comes with living in sarasota, FL>   People s get a weird sense of time in FL after awhile.  

Fri, 11/16/2012 - 16:28 | 2989436 fonzannoon
fonzannoon's picture

maybe i am thinking of Gartman....are they the same guy?

Fri, 11/16/2012 - 16:51 | 2989549 GMadScientist
GMadScientist's picture

I like the premature capitulation the impression you were capped you should and likely will be!

Fri, 11/16/2012 - 16:14 | 2989344 SillySalesmanQu...
SillySalesmanQuestion's picture

Nancy is used to reaching down and giving a "short sqeeze".

Fri, 11/16/2012 - 16:14 | 2989349 unionbroker
unionbroker's picture

up 20 points , they sure dont make pumps like they used to . In the past the Dow would have closed up 100 on this bs. But wait the day is still young 

Fri, 11/16/2012 - 16:15 | 2989351 I Am Not a Copp...
I Am Not a Copper Top's picture

Fucking crooks

Fri, 11/16/2012 - 16:16 | 2989360 amadeusb4
amadeusb4's picture

The so called fiscal cliff compromise is in fact imminent, not because the R's are going to come to the table but because they're irrelevant. Actual negotiations are proceeding among D party factions which will simply hand the R's a deal to sign on the dotted line and they will sign it. All that you see regarding this issue is pure theater. The deal may not be done yet but the script is written and all we have left to do is buy some popcorn to watch the R's perform Hamlet.

Fri, 11/16/2012 - 16:49 | 2989544 GMadScientist
GMadScientist's picture

I think you meant "Much Ado About Nothing". ;)

Fri, 11/16/2012 - 16:57 | 2989576 amadeusb4
amadeusb4's picture

On a second thought, The Aristocrats would be more fitting.

Fri, 11/16/2012 - 17:00 | 2989593 GMadScientist
GMadScientist's picture

With Larry "Wide-Stance" Craig in a "suppoting role". ;)

Fri, 11/16/2012 - 16:18 | 2989368 tooriskytoinvest
tooriskytoinvest's picture

Forget the fiscal cliff!

Gary Shilling: This Is Not just A Temporary, Bear-Recession Dip. But A “Deeper Depression-Style Slow-Growth Likely Till The Election Of 2020

Fri, 11/16/2012 - 16:54 | 2989566 amadeusb4
amadeusb4's picture

I read Shilling's Age of Deleveraging book and agree with some of his premises. I think the US is already in a recession, you can't count on housing or the consumer for recoveries, etc. However, he's also very dogmatic about increased government regulation and involvement in major economies reducing innovation and increasing economic inefficiencies as well as nationalism killing economic growth. Reading the book is funny because while he's meticulous about documenting some things, he either pulls others entirely out of his ass or is quite disingenuous in documenting them.

Note that if you got your hands on the book in Jan and started trading exactly the opposite, you would be up handsomely today despite the sell off these last 4 weeks. The one exception being long bonds which have also gone up with the market YTD. So depending on how you weighed your portfolio based on his advice, you would either have losses or be flat YTD but you probably did better than those who followed Harry Dent.

Fri, 11/16/2012 - 16:27 | 2989434 Scalaris
Scalaris's picture

Why is what these clowns do, defined as a profession, since it involves nothing more than spinning their fiercely lacking, of any verisimilitude or materiality, rhetoric, in order to appease the increasingly distressed masses, while enriching themselves by blatantly manipulating the markets, applying their inside information in deals with their fellow cronies, who reciprocate in kind with political donorship, by abusing government funds?

Fuck them.

Fri, 11/16/2012 - 16:31 | 2989452 edb5s
edb5s's picture

This is sickening.  Poor muppets...

Fri, 11/16/2012 - 16:43 | 2989517 jomama
jomama's picture

that woman is such a fucking mental midget.

Fri, 11/16/2012 - 17:40 | 2989738 wonderatitall
wonderatitall's picture

even if he did, what of it. where is corzine? and the 2 billion he stole? farmers are democrats too because not a peep. pelosi needs a constant injection of botox to keep her eyes from rolling out. good enough nothing to see her looky loos

Fri, 11/16/2012 - 18:13 | 2989850 lakecity55
lakecity55's picture

indeed, but a filthy rich and corrupt mental midget.

Fri, 11/16/2012 - 16:48 | 2989537 GMadScientist
GMadScientist's picture

I see the two pumps, and the chump, but I think we're still missing a dump.

Fri, 11/16/2012 - 17:01 | 2989587 Everybodys All ...
Everybodys All American's picture

If you think today sucked with a market pump then wait util next week when there are fewer traders. They will pump this market next week for sure. Can it hold the week after Thanksgiving? In the words of Timothy Thieving  Geithner...No chance.

Fri, 11/16/2012 - 17:34 | 2989706 Kastorsky
Kastorsky's picture


Reptilians do exist! 

Fri, 11/16/2012 - 18:17 | 2989867 notadouche
notadouche's picture

"right from the horse's mouth"  Correction, "right from the horse's ass's mouth"   And people have a problem with a person wanting their state to secede when you have San Francisco's version of the New York "cat woman".  I'll bet the NY "cat woman" wasn't able to use tax payer funded insurance to pay for the "face that sunk a thousand ships"

Fri, 11/16/2012 - 18:37 | 2989904 DowTheorist
DowTheorist's picture

the politicos failed to avert the Transports closing down and by closing down a primary bear market signal has been flashed by the Dow Theory today.


The Transports closed down today and violated its 09/28/2012 secondary reaction lows. By doing this a primary bear market has been flashed.


Not a good omen for stocks. The odds favor the downside rather than the upside.


Here you have the details:

Fri, 11/16/2012 - 19:54 | 2990088 hairball48
hairball48's picture

I'm kinda new here at ZH. I get the impression there's not much love for Ms Pelosi around ZeroHedge.


Thu, 11/29/2012 - 17:27 | 3021922 CitizenPete
CitizenPete's picture

IMHO most folks here do not much love for the Executive or Legislature or Fed Reserve System or plutocracy in general.  Basically the empirical truth is central planners (a.k.a Governments) create Moral Hazard, distort markets, don't enforce laws, exercise crony capitalism, and focus on building Empire or maintaining the status quo of Keynesian economics.   They also produce nothing and steal everything from citizens at the end of a gun. So yeah, Pelosi fits in a few of those categories -- she's also dumb and attractive as Beaver Barf. 

Do NOT follow this link or you will be banned from the site!