Japan's Official Advice To Bond Investors: "Please Do Not Worry"

Tyler Durden's picture


Q. If Japan has a financial collapse, what will happen to its government bonds?

A. Please do not worry.

Source: Japan Ministry of Finance

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Sat, 11/17/2012 - 12:49 | 2991709 Zer0head
Zer0head's picture

Just click your heels together three times and say ...

Sat, 11/17/2012 - 12:52 | 2991716 Future Tense
Future Tense's picture

I'm interested to see what will happen to Japan's mortgage rates as their government bond rates start to rise. Will they rise in direct correlation or will they diverge in "risk" value? I think this will be the blue print for how things will play out in the US real estate market once we reach the Greece/Japan moment. Good discussion on this mortgage rate topic here:


Sat, 11/17/2012 - 13:07 | 2991750 flacon
flacon's picture

"Please do not worry" ~ I didn't know that Timothy Geithner was Japanese too. 

Sat, 11/17/2012 - 13:10 | 2991762 rcintc
rcintc's picture

Thank Goodness....I feel so much better now that I don't have to worry.

Sat, 11/17/2012 - 14:24 | 2991915 Boris Alatovkrap
Boris Alatovkrap's picture

Q: How many is Japanese for screwing incandescent bulb?

A: Please do not have to worry!

Sat, 11/17/2012 - 14:31 | 2991925 TheSilverJournal
TheSilverJournal's picture

This sounds a lot like Obama: "The public is not paying close attention to the ins-and-outs of how a Treasury auction goes...they shouldn't"


Sat, 11/17/2012 - 14:35 | 2991937 onebir
onebir's picture

"...we're paid to worry about it."

A timeless classic.

Sat, 11/17/2012 - 16:25 | 2992150 Vampyroteuthis ...
Vampyroteuthis infernalis's picture

When official denial appears, it is SHTF time. Debt deflation implosion bitchez!!

Sat, 11/17/2012 - 16:55 | 2992205 TheSilverJournal
TheSilverJournal's picture

Show me one bankrupt country's fiat currency that gained value when going bankrupt.

Sat, 11/17/2012 - 17:47 | 2992238 TruthInSunshine
TruthInSunshine's picture

All the Fractional Reserve Central Banking captured governments' favorite song (that they love playing for their "contituents"):


Here's a little song I wrote
You might want to sing it note for note
Don't worry, be happy

In every life we have financial trouble
But when you worry you make it double
Don't worry, be happy
Don't worry, be happy now 

Ain't got no place to lay your head
Somebody came and took your bed
Don't worry, be happy

The BLS says inflation is 'bout 2 percent
They hedontically substituted a tent for your rent
Don't worry, be happy
Don't worry, be happy

The fiat printing is escalating
Your real income is falling & your living standard deflating
Don't worry, be happy
Don't worry, be happy

You went out for some gas, milk & bread
And then came home full of fear & dread
Don't worry, be happy
Don't worry, be happy

There's now talk of Fed Chairwoman Janet Yellen
If so tens of millions more will be communally gellin'
Don't worry, be happy
Don't worry, be happy now

oooh oooh oooh oooh oooh
la la la la lalalala la lala

la la la lalalala la la

Don't worry, be happy
Don't worry, be happy now

Sat, 11/17/2012 - 20:37 | 2992610 Bicycle Repairman
Bicycle Repairman's picture

The translation is wrong.  It says "We intend wipe out all bond investor off of face of earth."

Sat, 11/17/2012 - 13:16 | 2991784 Rainman
Rainman's picture

" What good fortune for governments that people do not think "

                          Adolf Hitler





Sat, 11/17/2012 - 13:28 | 2991813 Mae Kadoodie
Mae Kadoodie's picture

Chip Diller, "Remain calm--all is well!"         http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zDAmPIq29ro

Sat, 11/17/2012 - 13:08 | 2991756 kaiserhoff
kaiserhoff's picture



Sat, 11/17/2012 - 12:51 | 2991712 Motorhead
Motorhead's picture

Right, just like when someone says, "don't panic".



Sat, 11/17/2012 - 13:07 | 2991752 LawsofPhysics
LawsofPhysics's picture

Okay that made me laugh.  I remember my first trips to Russia when we were just getting things started.  As soon as the cabby, or a colleague, or a potential partner said "no problem" you knew you were fucked or at the very least there definitely was a problem.

Sat, 11/17/2012 - 13:28 | 2991812 JPM Hater001
JPM Hater001's picture

Yeah, it's what I tell my wife when we are sailing and it's 8 feet deep and the depth gauge keeps dropping...

"Do not worry.  We will never hit the bottom."

Sat, 11/17/2012 - 14:25 | 2991916 centerline
centerline's picture

Everytime I have used those words there has been at least a 50/50 chance of things really going wrong.  lol.  And I'm an honest guy.  For other folks it is a 100% certainty that screwing is a coming.

Sat, 11/17/2012 - 12:51 | 2991715 apberusdisvet
apberusdisvet's picture

Hmmm.  Denial?  Delusion?  or a Setup?

Sat, 11/17/2012 - 12:52 | 2991717 francis_sawyer
francis_sawyer's picture

As long as the roots are not severed... all is well & will be well... in the garden


Chauncey Gardener

Sat, 11/17/2012 - 14:34 | 2991935 lipskid
lipskid's picture

I like to watch......

Sat, 11/17/2012 - 23:26 | 2992872 StychoKiller
StychoKiller's picture

"Life is a state of mind."

Sat, 11/17/2012 - 12:53 | 2991718 q99x2
q99x2's picture

Just tell Bernanke. Fucker will buy them up in a heartbeat.

Sat, 11/17/2012 - 12:54 | 2991721 Anglo Hondo
Anglo Hondo's picture

You bought Japanese government bonds?  Ho ho!  Don't panic, they are flammable, and will keep you warm if ignited.

Please, buy moar...


Sat, 11/17/2012 - 12:54 | 2991722 Everyman
Everyman's picture

Get out your "Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy" and make sure you have a towel!

Sat, 11/17/2012 - 12:57 | 2991726 falak pema
falak pema's picture

when u are on the edge of fuku simmering cauldron what is a bond meltdown in comparison...don't worry, beeeee happyyyy!

Sat, 11/17/2012 - 12:58 | 2991731 prains
prains's picture

all your reactors are belong to us, please do not worry

Sat, 11/17/2012 - 12:59 | 2991733 Silver Bug
Silver Bug's picture

Wow now that is just sad.



Sat, 11/17/2012 - 13:02 | 2991743 gould's fisker
gould's fisker's picture

From the feudal people who gave the world "the tanto".  Subsequent announcement--we got some bad-ass knives for everybody bitchez.


Sat, 11/17/2012 - 13:03 | 2991745 BigInJapan
BigInJapan's picture

Take it from me, if a Japanese person tells you not to worry, worrying is exactly what the fuck you should be doing.

Sun, 11/18/2012 - 08:13 | 2993308 Vlad Tepid
Vlad Tepid's picture

The Japanese say don't worry about everything.  They also apologize when they do you favors and will refuse anything you try to give them three times, even if it's water in the desert.  This is the second time the Tylers have posted this and the Google translate effect just isn't funny.  In Japanese what they're saying neither an attempt at obfuscation or gallows humor...it's simply a statement.

Sat, 11/17/2012 - 13:05 | 2991747 americanspirit
americanspirit's picture

Well, that is certainly a relief. For a moment there I was worried what might happen in a financial collapse.

Sat, 11/17/2012 - 13:07 | 2991751 zilverreiger
zilverreiger's picture

Just like they handled Fukushima, so don't worry

Sat, 11/17/2012 - 13:08 | 2991757 Mine Is Bigger
Mine Is Bigger's picture

Well, at least they have manners.

Imagine how bondholders would feel if they were told, "Don't worry!," instead of "Please do not worry."

So polite!

Sat, 11/17/2012 - 13:12 | 2991760 BlackMagician
BlackMagician's picture

 "Okay people, move along, nothing to see here."

And if you don't... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gx4jn77VKlQ&feature=related

Sat, 11/17/2012 - 13:10 | 2991767 ISEEIT
ISEEIT's picture

The Japanese are so polite! I love it how they said "please". The U.S. Treasury would like just bloviate on about how "American treasury bonds are backed by the full faith and credit of the United States government....."

Sat, 11/17/2012 - 13:10 | 2991769 JustPrintMoreDuh
JustPrintMoreDuh's picture

Who's raughing now?

Sat, 11/17/2012 - 13:11 | 2991770 nmewn
nmewn's picture

Time to panic!

Sat, 11/17/2012 - 13:29 | 2991817 JPM Hater001
JPM Hater001's picture

Now where did I put the panic button...

Sat, 11/17/2012 - 14:33 | 2991932 imbrbing
imbrbing's picture

Hey y'all watch this!

Sat, 11/17/2012 - 13:11 | 2991773 spanish inquisition
spanish inquisition's picture

"If everyone just smiles, a default will not hurt you"

Sat, 11/17/2012 - 13:17 | 2991785 Honey Badger
Honey Badger's picture

We promise to pay you back as we will print the money. We do not make any promises as to what that money will buy.

Sat, 11/17/2012 - 13:27 | 2991808 Beam Me Up Scotty
Beam Me Up Scotty's picture

Thats sounds like a quote from the Social Security administration in the not to distant future.  Or maybe they have already said it.

Sat, 11/17/2012 - 13:30 | 2991797 ebworthen
ebworthen's picture

That is so Japanese, I love it.

The FED would try to type out a two page explanation using economic newspeak resplendent with charts, graphs, and pictures of the Capitol and Washington and the flag and politicians in suits and stacks of gold bars and smiling happy families.

"Please do not worry" is so much more elegant.

Sun, 11/18/2012 - 11:54 | 2993558 Zero Debt
Zero Debt's picture

Indeed. Debt clocks are just not very polite. Especially not if you give it to someone as a gift. Definitely not a good gift. Especially not for weddings.

Sat, 11/17/2012 - 13:21 | 2991798 dwdollar
dwdollar's picture

In other words... "Please don't panic and continue funding the Ponzi so it can be maintained."

Sat, 11/17/2012 - 13:23 | 2991802 Josephine29
Josephine29's picture

I guess this debate has been triggered off by the LDP proposals for yet more monetary easing should they win the election. Here below is an article which describes how far they are willing to go.

"Let me illustrate from a speech by the head of the Japanese LDP Shinzo Abe.

We want to conduct monetary policy boldly, by taking into account the possibility of revising the Bank of Japan Act

Some care is needed here as “bold action” from Japanese politicians and officials is in my financial lexicon but revising the central banks legal structure had my antennae on full alert.Then Abe san explained. From the Japan Daily Press.

Shinzo Abe, the leader of the opposing Liberal Democratic Party (LDP) and most likely next Japanese Prime Minister, made a statement on Thursday that he wants the Bank of Japan to encourage lending by setting its interest rates to zero or sub-zero.

He has also called for “unlimited” monetary easing from the Bank of Japan which is an interesting concept for an organisation that is in the middle of so-called  Quantitative Easing number 9 which replaced the former QE8 after only about six weeks. Apparently the extra 11 trillion Yen represented by QE 9 is not enough for Abe san who has called it “meaningless”. No wonder he also wants to change the Bank of Japan Act!"


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