Japan's Official Advice To Bond Investors: "Please Do Not Worry"

Tyler Durden's picture

Q. If Japan has a financial collapse, what will happen to its government bonds?

A. Please do not worry.

Source: Japan Ministry of Finance

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Zer0head's picture

Just click your heels together three times and say ...

Future Tense's picture

I'm interested to see what will happen to Japan's mortgage rates as their government bond rates start to rise. Will they rise in direct correlation or will they diverge in "risk" value? I think this will be the blue print for how things will play out in the US real estate market once we reach the Greece/Japan moment. Good discussion on this mortgage rate topic here:


flacon's picture

"Please do not worry" ~ I didn't know that Timothy Geithner was Japanese too. 

rcintc's picture

Thank Goodness....I feel so much better now that I don't have to worry.

Boris Alatovkrap's picture

Q: How many is Japanese for screwing incandescent bulb?

A: Please do not have to worry!

TheSilverJournal's picture

This sounds a lot like Obama: "The public is not paying close attention to the ins-and-outs of how a Treasury auction goes...they shouldn't"


onebir's picture

"...we're paid to worry about it."

A timeless classic.

Vampyroteuthis infernalis's picture

When official denial appears, it is SHTF time. Debt deflation implosion bitchez!!

TheSilverJournal's picture

Show me one bankrupt country's fiat currency that gained value when going bankrupt.

TruthInSunshine's picture

All the Fractional Reserve Central Banking captured governments' favorite song (that they love playing for their "contituents"):


Here's a little song I wrote
You might want to sing it note for note
Don't worry, be happy

In every life we have financial trouble
But when you worry you make it double
Don't worry, be happy
Don't worry, be happy now 

Ain't got no place to lay your head
Somebody came and took your bed
Don't worry, be happy

The BLS says inflation is 'bout 2 percent
They hedontically substituted a tent for your rent
Don't worry, be happy
Don't worry, be happy

The fiat printing is escalating
Your real income is falling & your living standard deflating
Don't worry, be happy
Don't worry, be happy

You went out for some gas, milk & bread
And then came home full of fear & dread
Don't worry, be happy
Don't worry, be happy

There's now talk of Fed Chairwoman Janet Yellen
If so tens of millions more will be communally gellin'
Don't worry, be happy
Don't worry, be happy now

oooh oooh oooh oooh oooh
la la la la lalalala la lala

la la la lalalala la la

Don't worry, be happy
Don't worry, be happy now

Bicycle Repairman's picture

The translation is wrong.  It says "We intend wipe out all bond investor off of face of earth."

Rainman's picture

" What good fortune for governments that people do not think "

                          Adolf Hitler





Mae Kadoodie's picture

Chip Diller, "Remain calm--all is well!"         http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zDAmPIq29ro

Motorhead's picture

Right, just like when someone says, "don't panic".



LawsofPhysics's picture

Okay that made me laugh.  I remember my first trips to Russia when we were just getting things started.  As soon as the cabby, or a colleague, or a potential partner said "no problem" you knew you were fucked or at the very least there definitely was a problem.

JPM Hater001's picture

Yeah, it's what I tell my wife when we are sailing and it's 8 feet deep and the depth gauge keeps dropping...

"Do not worry.  We will never hit the bottom."

centerline's picture

Everytime I have used those words there has been at least a 50/50 chance of things really going wrong.  lol.  And I'm an honest guy.  For other folks it is a 100% certainty that screwing is a coming.

apberusdisvet's picture

Hmmm.  Denial?  Delusion?  or a Setup?

francis_sawyer's picture

As long as the roots are not severed... all is well & will be well... in the garden


Chauncey Gardener

q99x2's picture

Just tell Bernanke. Fucker will buy them up in a heartbeat.

Anglo Hondo's picture

You bought Japanese government bonds?  Ho ho!  Don't panic, they are flammable, and will keep you warm if ignited.

Please, buy moar...


Everyman's picture

Get out your "Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy" and make sure you have a towel!

falak pema's picture

when u are on the edge of fuku simmering cauldron what is a bond meltdown in comparison...don't worry, beeeee happyyyy!

prains's picture

all your reactors are belong to us, please do not worry

gould's fisker's picture

From the feudal people who gave the world "the tanto".  Subsequent announcement--we got some bad-ass knives for everybody bitchez.


BigInJapan's picture

Take it from me, if a Japanese person tells you not to worry, worrying is exactly what the fuck you should be doing.

Vlad Tepid's picture

The Japanese say don't worry about everything.  They also apologize when they do you favors and will refuse anything you try to give them three times, even if it's water in the desert.  This is the second time the Tylers have posted this and the Google translate effect just isn't funny.  In Japanese what they're saying neither an attempt at obfuscation or gallows humor...it's simply a statement.

americanspirit's picture

Well, that is certainly a relief. For a moment there I was worried what might happen in a financial collapse.

zilverreiger's picture

Just like they handled Fukushima, so don't worry

Mine Is Bigger's picture

Well, at least they have manners.

Imagine how bondholders would feel if they were told, "Don't worry!," instead of "Please do not worry."

So polite!

BlackMagician's picture

 "Okay people, move along, nothing to see here."

And if you don't... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gx4jn77VKlQ&feature=related

ISEEIT's picture

The Japanese are so polite! I love it how they said "please". The U.S. Treasury would like just bloviate on about how "American treasury bonds are backed by the full faith and credit of the United States government....."

nmewn's picture

Time to panic!

spanish inquisition's picture

"If everyone just smiles, a default will not hurt you"

Honey Badger's picture

We promise to pay you back as we will print the money. We do not make any promises as to what that money will buy.

Beam Me Up Scotty's picture

Thats sounds like a quote from the Social Security administration in the not to distant future.  Or maybe they have already said it.

ebworthen's picture

That is so Japanese, I love it.

The FED would try to type out a two page explanation using economic newspeak resplendent with charts, graphs, and pictures of the Capitol and Washington and the flag and politicians in suits and stacks of gold bars and smiling happy families.

"Please do not worry" is so much more elegant.

Zero Debt's picture

Indeed. Debt clocks are just not very polite. Especially not if you give it to someone as a gift. Definitely not a good gift. Especially not for weddings.

dwdollar's picture

In other words... "Please don't panic and continue funding the Ponzi so it can be maintained."

Josephine29's picture

I guess this debate has been triggered off by the LDP proposals for yet more monetary easing should they win the election. Here below is an article which describes how far they are willing to go.

"Let me illustrate from a speech by the head of the Japanese LDP Shinzo Abe.

We want to conduct monetary policy boldly, by taking into account the possibility of revising the Bank of Japan Act

Some care is needed here as “bold action” from Japanese politicians and officials is in my financial lexicon but revising the central banks legal structure had my antennae on full alert.Then Abe san explained. From the Japan Daily Press.

Shinzo Abe, the leader of the opposing Liberal Democratic Party (LDP) and most likely next Japanese Prime Minister, made a statement on Thursday that he wants the Bank of Japan to encourage lending by setting its interest rates to zero or sub-zero.

He has also called for “unlimited” monetary easing from the Bank of Japan which is an interesting concept for an organisation that is in the middle of so-called  Quantitative Easing number 9 which replaced the former QE8 after only about six weeks. Apparently the extra 11 trillion Yen represented by QE 9 is not enough for Abe san who has called it “meaningless”. No wonder he also wants to change the Bank of Japan Act!"