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Monday Humor: Sex Sells... Japanese Bonds
As many prepare for the imminent demise of the JPY (courtesy of Abe's aggression), Mike Krieger of Liberty Blitzkrieg reminds us of possibly the greatest (and most unbelievably hilarious) financial advertisement ever. From our friends across the ocean, "Men that own government bonds are popular with the ladies!" Don't believe its real? Bloomberg story here.
(h/t Mike Krieger)
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Eventually zero hedge will just become a satire mag as the financial world descends further into farce..
That, or the Drudge Report of the financial world...
Tyler = Drudge...
Whatever it takes to sell ads...
Disgusting war criminal Karl Rove is confronted by a citizen. Video: 20 seconds.
Try a little sweet talk with the ladies. A man's word is his bond.
Buy a Japanese Bond, then you get a happy ending and a haircut!
I actually cross reference Bloomberg to ZH to see if a story is real
I wish Bloomberg TV would do a female financial analyst swimsuit calender.
I do like how the worse the economy gets, the more cleavage Caroline Hyde shows.
HERROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO RADIEEEEEEEEEEEEEES!!!
Um.. I don’t find this humorous.
I find it frightening.
Gangnam style!!!!
Looks like an underage porn ad
What's the difference between a Soapland and a portfolio of Long term JGB bonds?
Only one will make you look forward to the purchase.
Hey ladies!
I own a long Japanese Long Bond with a big Fat Coupon.
(waving hands about jumping up and down running in circles making ass of self)
(crickets)
Penis Envy
Also reminds me of back in the day trying to prong hairy smelly dumb liberal chicks that I'd roll up the Sunday NY Times and jam it down my jeans....
Whata thrill!
Always made sure that Maureen Dowd's column was on the top.
Sweet Caroline.
She gets me up in the mornings !;o)
But it’s true. Nerdy doomer libertarians and insane silverbug preppers never get laid. Girls like hip educated liberals, not lame uptight rednecks. Libertarians need to loosen up a bit and stop getting so worked up about “free speech” and “the second amendment”. It’s just irritating and lame. Progressives are not only making progress in politics - they are also getting laid. Nerdy libertarians and preppers need to get out more. It’s simply not cool to be an ignorant right-winger - if you’re not part of the Obama revolution, then you’re seriously missing out on some fun. Seriously dudes ... stop freaking out about the economy – the government is working on it ... just chill morons.
Thank you, Dr. Poop-on-your-tongue.
You get free phones too.
Come back and talk to me when I get free DRONES, Leo.
Million Dollar Bonus/Elizabeth Warren 2016
keep up the good work man...
mdb, not a bad post, you have not been as entertaining recently.
i like the phrase Silverbug. i think those guys will be pretty popular with the ladies soon.
A prepper may someday earn that coveted title: "Last Man on Earth." Supply and demand.
Don't feed the trollski.
In Japan, a country once regarded as conservative, nobody wants to marry anymore.
In Japan, 61% of single males, between 18-34, said they don't have a girlfriend and 50% don't want one.
50% of Japanese women born in the 1970's have no children. 30% of Japanese women 30-34 are now single. Thirty years ago, only 2% of women this age were not married.
The problem is Asia-wide. In Bangkok, 27% of women in the 30-34 age group are single. South Koreans complain that women are in a marriage strike.
Japan is the country where the situation is most dire.The birth rate is 1.39 children per woman. Japan's population will keep declining by about one million people every year, which will leave Japan with a population of 87 million in 2060. By that time, more than 40% of the population is expected to be over the age of 65. The economy will implode. -HM . ... Once again, . Destroy - families, identities, nationalites, financials and gender... Replace with ONE . Divide and conquer.
Heck. Have you seen their robotic, life-like "alternatives" over there? I don't know if I'd get a grilfriend or married, either.
Time to send in some Nigerians?
Socialism, the biggest boner killer ever invented.
No.
Putting the glass tube in the penis hole then smashing it is still the #1 boner killer of all time.
Cheese grater still holds #2.
That means Adeline Albright holds #3?
Maxine Waters, Nancy Pelosi, Debbie Wasserman #'s 4,5,6..
oh, hell, throw in the whole female Democratic caucus, up to and including Hillary.
Palin and Bachman may be a bit bonkers, but I'd bonk them before any of the above.
A Japanese woman goes to her doctor. "Doctor, I cannot get a boyfriend - what is wrong with me?" The doctor says "I think I know but I have to do a simple test. Take off all your clothes, then get down on the floor and crawl away from me. Good. Now turn around and crawl back towards me. Okay, now put your clothes back on." The woman gets dressed and says "Doctor, do you know what the problem is?" The doctor says "Yes, you have Ed Zachary Disease." "Ed Zachary Disease?" says the woman, "What's that then?" The doctor says...
"It when your face rook edzakery rike your arse" !;o)
Barbara Mikulski before Debbie Wasserman.
Some look astonishingly like girls, and surveys indicate that they comprise from 30% to 60% of young men in the 20-30 year-old group. .
Hikikomori men A more serious phenomenon is the Hikikomori. These are males who simply don't leave their rooms, don't have any social life and usually live with their parents. The Ministry of Health estimates that about 3,600,000 hikikomori live in Japan. Some of them spend their whole lives on the internet and don't join their families even for meals, which are just left by their doors.
There's that, for sure.
There's also the cultural gap between females and males (still workable males).
Japanese men expect to marry a lifelong servant.
Educated women choose to stay single and go after foreigners, leave the country, or live on their own.
I sent away for one of those "Asian Bride" catalogs for fun many years back - damn thing came and every single chick on there demanded advanced degrees and >6 figure salaries.
I only go to my room to sleep. There is more to life than sitting in a box, or looking at a box. Even when all has gone to shit, there are three aspects of living that make a person happy regardless of anything else, and a person is happiest when all three are in balance: scientific/objective knowledge and experiment, arts and crafts, and physical fitness. Imo just because your ancestors forsaked you doesn't mean you have to forsake yourself.
MiniHealth?
;)
"scientific/objective knowledge and experiment"
yoink!
Wow. What a mess. A culture in full meltdown.
Justin Bieber says "Fuck all you trill ass pussy nigga haters."
Oh...
Wait.
You were talking about Japanese culture.
My bad.
Stand back up and carry on.
word
They will never evolve:
http://news.yahoo.com/meat-cooked-foods-needed-early-human-brain-1658370...
Actually seems healthy for the human race. Natural selection trimming the weak branches from the tree. We used to have wars to do this stuff. Now people just sit quietly in their rooms, waiting to be removed from the gene pool. Quite sanitary. In 70 years, they will have a smart, attractive, stable population of 50 million.
Hikkomori man are a typical western problem, i live in Switzerland i personally know more than one Hikkomori
In Japan, 61% of single males, between 18-34, said they don't have a girlfriend and 50% don't want one.
Saw a promo for a sitcom last night. Guy's being mugged, and instead of saying "Don't shoot! I have a wife and kids!" he says:
"Don't shoot! I'm not married and my life is perfect!"
"In Japan, 61% of single males, between 18-34, said they don't have a girlfriend and 50% don't want one. "
The porn must be that good.
nah... it's cause schoolgirls do tricks for spending money..... Japan has a really creepy obsession thing going on with teen age girls
hmmm is that a bad thing?
Lots of one night stands and no hassles till your 40 ;-)
+1000 Thanks for the bitch slap back to reality MDB...
What a relief to hear that "the government is working on [the ecomomy]". Nothing to worry about now! The government should have the economy squared away in no time!
The Government may be "working on the economy", but methinks a good analogy would be the "Crash Team" in your local Hospital "working on" a very-much-beyond-resuscitation former person, 'cause they HAVE to be SEEN to be DOING SOMETHING.
An alternative viewpoint is yes, they ARE working on the economy - but the goals they seek do not (necessarily) co-incide with goals that are to your benefit. A LOT of Corporate money went into Obama's re-election campaign: Those donors no doubt are expecting a good return on their investment.
Another content-free message brought to you by MDB
Dudes will tell *any* lie to get laid. I had a buddy in college - no better looking than I - and as much of a business major conservative as I was - who racked up score after score after score. Meanwhile, I got a nibble just now and again.
Finally, I couldn't take it anymore and asked him what the hell he was doing that was working so well.
His M.O. was to pretend that he was a big Lib...this was '83-'86 time frame...and since he was a new wave music fan, he could talk the talk...
It was nothing but a selfish, cynical ploy to score.
Worked like a charm on stupid, liberal college women. I adopted some of his schtick to raise my 'batting average', so to speak, but I just couldn't bring myself to be that shameless.
Of course, he's married now as am I; both to conservative women. The liberal ones were just cannon fodder to use and abuse.
and god bless them!
No one ever fantasized about being ravished by someone dressed as a liberal.
I buy silver and regularly wack some of the hottest pussy on the planet
stop freaking out about the economy – the government is working on it
Um, yeah. That's what we are worried about.
...Come to think of it....I can't remember the last time a hotty asked me about my favorite brand of piss filter or even laughed at any of my Eddie Willers jokes.
...Come to think of it....I can't remember the last time a hotty asked me about my favorite brand of piss filter or even laughed at any of my Eddie Willers jokes.
...Come to think of it....I can't remember the last time a hotty asked me about my favorite brand of piss filter or even laughed at any of my Eddie Willers jokes.
BJs for JGBs!!
Herding the sheep into the slaughter stockade.
Dude you are getting creepy. Stop talking about Karl Rove, really.
The dude has a boner for Rove.
Me love ya long bond
KARL ROVE AND ASIAN CHICKS DON'T MIX! BRO
Barry has the hots for Rove and has joined ZH? Who knew?
You seem to have some sort of man crush on Karl. Perhaps you should write him a love letter and tell him how you feel.
Karl Rove's criminal and scum and all that, but "war criminal" is a pretty easily disprovable claim. The guy never held any real *government* power at all.
He was just an enabler of war criminals.
Ya oughta find a new schtick. Your contributions certainly aren't doing anything to help the public discourse.
Nice how you slipped that in there.
I got the same warm fuzzy as when the guy told Cheney to go f*ck himself.
ummmm I think Cheney told Senator Leahy to go F$#% himself on the Senate floor....I actually approved of that
Well, considering that ZeroHedge doesn't actually "sell" ads, and they're all just served via Google. It takes nothing to get the advertisers.
I always wonder is Zerohedge CIA or KGB or MOSSAD or Northern Illuminati or Goldman Sachs undercover headfake or other.
Occam's Razor says Tyler Durden "probably" isn't Batman, but that stupid razor ain't always right.
/Shrug.
who knows?
MAYBE he is Hyrum Graff (Played by Harrison Ford in the upcoming 'Ender's Game')
Tyler's identity is out there if you look for it. The site is registered with a Bulgarian address. Those folks are extremely civilized.
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/europe/bulgaria/9649220/Oldest...
I'm a HUGE fan of Tyler.
But....
Father always said
"Trust no one."
So true. Although Tyler isn't one, he is many.
Tyler = Drudge...
Wasn't always this way. The blogspot years and the first couple on here the discussions were a lot more highbrow, smart people, some partisan as fuck, but the exchanges were awesome. Cheeky Bastard was a trip, even Trav777's crazy racist ass was fun. The problem came when Rush Limbaugh gave ZH a mention early last year, now it's the dumbest factions of the GOP here all the time posting wannabe libertarian ideologies because they heard their first Ron Paul speech on youtube and think they're original.
Cheeky was epic...
Miss those days too.
I really like ZH because it is one of the few places where there is free speech. I throw out the racial shit because a lot of the time it is true but also to test Tyler.
All I can say is Tyler is for real. He’s the man.
I don't give a shit about anybody's 'LEGACY STATUS'...
The content was what it was a few years ago because not everybody was yet thoroughly convinced that TEOTWAWKI was upon us and still held out hope...
It's a complete & absolute carnival now... Embrace the horror...
With facebook and the internet I think people can find this chart and figure out what it means. Just a guess.
http://research.stlouisfed.org/fred2/graph/?s[1][id]=DFII10
It's a goddamned 'Monday Humor' thread and they come looking for the 'Meaning of [MANIPULATED PAPER] life'... Sheesh!
42
Well played sir :-)...
~~~
Jeez people... It's goddamned 'Thanksgiving short week' in a manipulated electronic paper 'MARKET'... Nobel Peace Prize winning Obama just won a 2nd term to office... & Netanyahu is bombing the shit out of little kids in Gaza...
You're probably going to have to go to your 'in laws' (who you hate), with your wife (who is either nagging at you, or is sleeping with your best friend) for dinner this weekend and eat a bunch of shitty GMO food you don't like (while fielding questions on your opinion about what stocks to buy)...
CHILL!
Jus pick up Jalen Parmele & Ronnie Hillman off the waiver wire for your fantasy football team (which is 4-6 right now because all the fucks you drafted either got injured or have Matt Cassel as QB)... Plug 'em into your lineup & things will look better come December (except for the fact there will still be a wookiee First Lady)...
it's not about legacy status, just quality control. The early commenters were mostly financial pros, engineers, energy industry types and other people that actually knew what the fuck they were talking about. You could spend an hour on this site and become much more informed and intelligent. I didn't even become a member until 2 1/2 years ago because I didn't feel qualified to argue with most of them. I sure as hell don't have that problem anymore, with these friggin morons posting...
Well, media being what it is: dummies are good for page-views, even if all they do is shriek and fling poo.
You say that as if flinging poo is a bad thing.
Poo Flingers SEIU Local #47.
"Look for the Union label."
Look BK...
If you were around this weekend, there was a pretty nice Kyle Bass thread... He (& probably very few others ~ like, say Hugh Hendry) are about as good as it gets these days...
So, I'm REAL SORRY that all the [your distinction] 'more informed & intelligent' persons have flown the coop, but WTF do you want?...
There was a day that I, too, hung on practically every word that came out of the 'EXPERTS' mouths... Systematically ~ I realized that it was almost 100% LIES LIES LIES LIES LIES LIES...
So Tyler... Take BK's advice... He seems to be suggesting that the bullshit lies & voodoo chart porn be brought back... You know... for RATINGS sake (aka ~ so intellectuals like himself can be appropriately stimulted)...
~~~
francis_sawyer is just a run of the mill 'anti-semite' who makes too many comment links to pop culture... Ignore me at all costs...
I read the thread, and what was missing was the usual... someone who disagreed. I personally think Tyler has done a great job of keeping the posts interesting, I'm strictly talking about the commenters.
A bunch of people went off and made their own blogs, and alot of the counter-view people seem to have been chased off, unfortunately. Cyberbalkenization, I guess.
What? But "this is the best of all possible worlds!" (Candide)
Contrary enough for ya?
Hey, don't forget Robot Trader, the guys pic's of hot ladies was worth logging on for.
^This
I was lurking at the inception (when it was still on blogspot?) for like 6 or maybe 9 months before signing up more than 3 years ago. It was really good in the first couple of years. Then over the last couple of years, weird trolls started to swarm the place.
At this point, I miss some of the trolls like HarryWang, Robo-Trader, the Canadian dude with cancer, and the guy who was memorialized for saying "it takes $6 to dig silver out of the ground"
'I miss' (this)... 'I miss' (that)...
Get a life people... Yeah ~ I miss that slutty looking chick back in high school that I most probably could have boned but was too chickenshit to ask... My life has no meaning anymore...
CHILL OUT, francis.
We love you as well.
Apparently his only friend was at arms reach...
@Thor
LOL ~ Don't worry... I'm chilled...
The 'synthesis' to this thread deviation is as follows:
BK probably has a point... A couple of years back, there were more, what seemed to be, wily 'insiders' who were able to 'pull back the curtain' (which has a way of making some folks feel like they have a leg up on the competition ~ people LIKE to feel that way ~ it makes them feel special)...
Now ~ there seems to be less (in aggregate)... So THE FUCK what?...
It's NOT TYLER'S FAULT...
Tyler's have a Bloomberg terminal... Which I have no doubt that they do their best each day to provide the most compelling narrative possible... It's NOT up to Tyler's to create the news, it's simply their job to report it (especially in a way that will NEVER be presented in the MSM)... In the process, (because ALL NEWS has become so farcical these days), I'd characterize it as having the propensity to draw out the most banal of human instincts & responses... That's just the way it is... You can't put chuck steak into a meat grinder and expect filet mignon to come out...
In other words...
It's NOT TYLERS FAULT that the financial world is a complete joke (ground chuck)... & if TYLERS can't grind out a 'Morton's' or 'Ruths Chris' 2 inch fillet out of the news... Well ~ maybe at least the chefs can come up with a clever & succulent burger out of the whole ordeal...
/2 CENT OPINION FINISHED
lol
Be thankful, your "bone" may have fallen off by now should you have scored.
Nope, not all the newer posters came via the route you referenced. I had been on a housing blog since the Summer of 2005. Several months before the 2008 election, the blog was infiltrated with partisan mud slingers and Obamabots. Prior to this, it provided very good information about national and local real estate news and also other economic topics. Posters gave their local observaton from various parts of the United States and foreign countries and shared their anecdotes and ideas that supported the presence of a housing bubble. It was the one place you could escape the unrelenting shills and sheep of the mania. After it became so political, it wasn't as informative or enjoyable.
IMO
It seems to me the partisans that fall for the false blue team/red team paradigm get called out regularly on ZH.
YO BLANKO
what color is the GS team?
My guess? "Starless, and bible black"
YO BLANKO
what color is the GS team?
YO BLANKO
what color is the GS team?
Tyler = Drudge.
Tyler has to much class and integrity to be Drudge
Satire? I thought that was CNBC's function!??
And Krugman's NYT columns
Krugman "bring back the 91% tax rate." I will trade the 91% tax rate for the reduction in federal spending to 17.5% of GDP we had under Eisenhower.
redpill
Krugman's intentions will be fully known soon with the publication of his newest book: "Eating the Rich, a Cookbook for the Age of Occupy". Commies apparently like the taste of human flesh, if properly fed... the human equivalent of Kobe...
Krugman is an idiot. Apparently, the fact that post WWII, the US (and the Great White North, of course) were the only industrialized countries not digging out from rubble has escaped this moron.
In a world where you have the commanding industrial might, when your society is still relatively homogeneous (e.g. religious, believers (if not practioners) of capitalism, still 'pulling together' after WWII/Korea, and united by the Commie menace, etc.), everyone's so happy to be relatively rich and peaceful, they don't mind paying off the bills from the war via high tax rates. What's changed, I wonder?
US now one of many highly industrialized countries. Global trade barriers trending to zero. Global communication and transportation costs trending to almost zero. 1950's US: family is the dominant unit. 2010's US: individual is dominant unit. Religion non-factor in most people's lives. Almost as many people decry capitalism as support it. 1950's unemployable underclass: miniscule. 2010's unemployable underclass: significant.
I could go on, but I won't. So much has changed, technologically, socially, politically, and economically that applying a 'solution' from the 50's is as ludicrious as applying medical techniques from the 1500's (though I'd pay to see the leeches applied to Paulie).
The mainstream press is ignoring the farce, so Zero Hedge has little choice but to expose Japan even further by informing those of us in the west that do not access the Japanese press.
Time to reflect on our own stupid government's round robin of cheques issued to the cheer of Wall Street, the relief of the masses but also to the detriment of the nation's future.
OK, now I don't feel so bad.
Wow....just wow. Where can I get some Japnese bonds?!?!?! Ladies soon to follow.
Rather than getting a Japanese lady, you are much more likely to end up with a Sumo wrestler.
He love you long time.
If you don't get the ladies, you can buy their panties from a vending machine...
Mrs Cog is impressed even though I don't own any Japanese Gvt bonds. :>)
<I only buy grade CCC- US Gvt bonds.>
<<Well.......that's what they'll eventually be downgraded to.>
CD you old bag of dirt good to see you... and a Happy Turkey Day on you if I don't catch up to you before Thursday!
And you as well you flea ridden three legged ball of mangy fur. :)
Free Geisha girl with every 100 JGBs.
Free escort service on weekends for every 100 US 10-Year.
Whole whorehouses for ownership of a single Greek or Spanish 10-Year.
Owning gov't bonds and Greek sex....
Free journey "up the Khyber" with every Afghani 30-year.
Sovereign debt is now an aphrodisiac - who knew?
"Would you like to come upstairs and see my unfunded liabilities?"
...I'm looking for some prime assets to balance them out.
Yes, when The Bernank walks into a room...panties drop.
But it's not just the stock baby...it's the flow.
Is that what they call the Bernanke put?
Straddle?
Reverse Bernanke?
The Reverse Bernanke = You eat out an unwiped fatman's ass as another fatman buttfucks you.
Oddly, the Reverse Bernanke is the same as the Bernanke.
No one REALLY ever likes to do the Bernanke,
but hey, let's be honest.
They don't have a choice.
*pukes*
Liquidity injections?
You're gonna wanna mop up that liquidity.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8FjmbRParcc
I'd like to liquidate *her* assets....
More like impotence.
It's all Keynesian rhino horn superstition.
That gives new meaning to the term, "naked shorts."
I was in th pool!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1cUNNKzj_Nc
If you skip out of town, in 9 months time she will truley know the meaning of the term...
I want the hot Japanese babes up front.
I want the hot fronts of Japanese babes.
But I'll take the hot rears in a pinch.
The chick below left wasn't showing enough of her yield curve.
Bitches like gold. Bitchez!
If I buy a lady, do I get a free bond?
Confucius say: Renting make happy campah.
Is that bonds or bondage?
Either way you get what you deserve: wallet will be gone, if not your kidneys.
If corvettes could never really compensate for a pencil dicks, this won't either.
Strangely, both "Corvette" and "Corsair" are the names of sailing ships (and American Chevy's!)
Coincidence, I think not. :>D
cheap.................