Monday Humor: Sex Sells... Japanese Bonds

Tyler Durden's picture

As many prepare for the imminent demise of the JPY (courtesy of Abe's aggression), Mike Krieger of Liberty Blitzkrieg reminds us of possibly the greatest (and most unbelievably hilarious) financial advertisement ever. From our friends across the ocean, "Men that own government bonds are popular with the ladies!" Don't believe its real? Bloomberg story here.



(h/t Mike Krieger)

Comment viewing options

Select your preferred way to display the comments and click "Save settings" to activate your changes.
Neethgie's picture

Eventually zero hedge will just become a satire mag as the financial world descends further into farce..

MillionDollarBogus_'s picture

That, or the Drudge Report of the financial world...

Tyler = Drudge...

Whatever it takes to sell ads...'s picture

Try a little sweet talk with the ladies. A man's word is his bond.

NewThor's picture

Buy a Japanese Bond, then you get a happy ending and a haircut!

strannick's picture

I actually cross reference Bloomberg to ZH to see if a story is real

NewThor's picture

I wish Bloomberg TV would do a female financial analyst swimsuit calender.

I do like how the worse the economy gets, the more cleavage Caroline Hyde shows.


greased up deaf guy's picture


Manthong's picture

Um.. I don’t find this humorous.

I find it frightening.

patb's picture

What's the difference between a Soapland and a portfolio of Long term JGB bonds?


Only one will make you look forward to the purchase.

knukles's picture

Hey ladies!
I own a long Japanese Long Bond with a big Fat Coupon.


(waving hands about jumping up and down running in circles making ass of self)

knukles's picture

Penis Envy

Also reminds me of back in the day trying to prong hairy smelly dumb liberal chicks that I'd roll up the Sunday NY Times and jam it down my jeans....
Whata thrill!

Always made sure that Maureen Dowd's column was on the top.

MillionDollarBoner_'s picture

Sweet Caroline.

She gets me up in the mornings !;o)

MillionDollarBonus_'s picture

But it’s true. Nerdy  doomer libertarians and insane silverbug preppers never get laid. Girls like hip educated liberals, not lame uptight rednecks. Libertarians need to loosen up a bit and stop getting so worked up about “free speech” and “the second amendment”. It’s just irritating and lame. Progressives are not only making progress in politics - they are also getting laid. Nerdy libertarians and preppers need to get out more.  It’s simply not cool to be an ignorant right-winger - if you’re not part of the Obama revolution, then you’re seriously missing out on some fun. Seriously dudes ... stop freaking out about the economy – the government is working on it ... just chill morons.

NewThor's picture

Thank you, Dr. Poop-on-your-tongue.

NewThor's picture

Come back and talk to me when I get free DRONES, Leo. 

BKbroiler's picture

Million Dollar Bonus/Elizabeth Warren 2016

keep up the good work man...

rqb1's picture

mdb, not a bad post, you have not been as entertaining recently. 

i like the phrase Silverbug.  i think those guys will be pretty popular with the ladies soon.'s picture

A prepper may someday earn that coveted title: "Last Man on Earth." Supply and demand.

BLOTTO's picture

In Japan, a country once regarded as conservative, nobody wants to marry anymore. 

In Japan, 61% of single males, between 18-34, said they don't have a girlfriend and 50% don't want one. 

50% of Japanese women born in the 1970's have no children. 30% of Japanese women 30-34 are now single. Thirty years ago, only 2% of women this age were not married. 
The problem is Asia-wide.  In Bangkok, 27% of women in the 30-34 age group are single. South Koreans complain that women are in a marriage strike. 

Japan is the country where the situation is most dire.The birth rate is 1.39 children per woman.  
Japan's population will keep declining by about one million people every year, which will leave Japan with a population of 87 million in 2060. By that time, more than 40% of the population is expected to be over the age of 65. The economy will implode. -HM . ... Once again, . Destroy - families, identities, nationalites, financials and gender... Replace with ONE . Divide and conquer.
Leopold B. Scotch's picture

Heck.  Have you seen their robotic, life-like "alternatives" over there?  I don't know if I'd get a grilfriend or married, either.

ZerOhead's picture

Time to send in some Nigerians?

economics9698's picture

Socialism, the biggest boner killer ever invented. 

NewThor's picture


Putting the glass tube in the penis hole then smashing it is still the #1 boner killer of all time.

Cheese grater still holds #2.


willwork4food's picture

That means Adeline Albright holds #3?

FrankDrakman's picture

Maxine Waters, Nancy Pelosi, Debbie Wasserman #'s 4,5,6..

oh, hell, throw in the whole female Democratic caucus, up to and including Hillary.

Palin and Bachman may be a bit bonkers, but I'd bonk them before any of the above.

MillionDollarBoner_'s picture

A Japanese woman goes to her doctor. "Doctor, I cannot get a boyfriend - what is wrong with me?" The doctor says "I think I know but I have to do a simple test. Take off all your clothes, then get down on the floor and crawl away from me. Good. Now turn around and crawl back towards me. Okay, now put your clothes back on." The woman gets dressed and says "Doctor, do you know what the problem is?" The doctor says "Yes, you have Ed Zachary Disease." "Ed Zachary Disease?" says the woman, "What's that then?" The doctor says...













"It when your face rook edzakery rike your arse" !;o)

Quantum Nucleonics's picture

Barbara Mikulski before Debbie Wasserman.

BLOTTO's picture
Herbivore Men One of the most appalling phenomena is the herbivore men (soushokukei danshi), named this way because they prefer to eat grass by the side of a female than to go for the "meat". They are a more passive version of the western metrosexual, a man focused on his looks, cosmetics and grooming, who wastes his time with video games, anime cartoons and candy.
Some look astonishingly like girls, and surveys indicate that they comprise from 30% to 60% of young men in the 20-30 year-old group. .
Hikikomori men A more serious phenomenon is the Hikikomori. These are males who simply don't leave their rooms, don't have any social life and usually live with their parents. The Ministry of Health estimates that about 3,600,000 hikikomori live in Japan. Some of them spend their whole lives on the internet and don't join their families even for meals, which are just left by their doors.
Stuntgirl's picture

There's that, for sure.

There's also the cultural gap between females and males (still workable males).

Japanese men expect to marry a lifelong servant.

Educated women choose to stay single and go after foreigners, leave the country, or live on their own.

Citxmech's picture

I sent away for one of those "Asian Bride" catalogs for fun many years back - damn thing came and every single chick on there demanded advanced degrees and >6 figure salaries.

Skateboarder's picture

I only go to my room to sleep. There is more to life than sitting in a box, or looking at a box. Even when all has gone to shit, there are three aspects of living that make a person happy regardless of anything else, and a person is happiest when all three are in balance: scientific/objective knowledge and experiment, arts and crafts, and physical fitness. Imo just because your ancestors forsaked you doesn't mean you have to forsake yourself.



Svendblaaskaeg's picture

"scientific/objective knowledge and experiment"


centerline's picture

Wow.  What a mess.  A culture in full meltdown.

NewThor's picture

Justin Bieber says "Fuck all you trill ass pussy nigga haters."



You were talking about Japanese culture.

My bad. 

Stand back up and carry on.

Quantum Nucleonics's picture

Actually seems healthy for the human race.  Natural selection trimming the weak branches from the tree.  We used to have wars to do this stuff.  Now people just sit quietly in their rooms, waiting to be removed from the gene pool.  Quite sanitary.  In 70 years, they will have a smart, attractive, stable population of 50 million.

Ar-Pharazôn's picture

Hikkomori man are a typical western problem, i live in Switzerland i personally know more than one Hikkomori

FrankDrakman's picture

In Japan, 61% of single males, between 18-34, said they don't have a girlfriend and 50% don't want one.

Saw a promo for a sitcom last night. Guy's being mugged, and instead of saying "Don't shoot! I have a wife and kids!" he says:

"Don't shoot! I'm not married and my life is perfect!"

Ignatius's picture

"In Japan, 61% of single males, between 18-34, said they don't have a girlfriend and 50% don't want one. "

The porn must be that good.

cynicalskeptic's picture

nah... it's cause schoolgirls do tricks for spending money.....   Japan has a really creepy obsession thing going on with teen age girls

slackrabbit's picture

hmmm is that a bad thing?

Lots of one night stands and no hassles till your 40 ;-)

ZerOhead's picture

+1000   Thanks for the bitch slap back to reality MDB...


LynRobison's picture

What a relief to hear that "the government is working on [the ecomomy]". Nothing to worry about now! The government should have the economy squared away in no time!