Monday Humor: Sex Sells... Japanese Bonds

Tyler Durden's picture


As many prepare for the imminent demise of the JPY (courtesy of Abe's aggression), Mike Krieger of Liberty Blitzkrieg reminds us of possibly the greatest (and most unbelievably hilarious) financial advertisement ever. From our friends across the ocean, "Men that own government bonds are popular with the ladies!" Don't believe its real? Bloomberg story here.



(h/t Mike Krieger)

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Mon, 11/19/2012 - 15:02 | 2996437 Neethgie
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Eventually zero hedge will just become a satire mag as the financial world descends further into farce..

Mon, 11/19/2012 - 15:04 | 2996445 MillionDollarBogus_
MillionDollarBogus_'s picture

That, or the Drudge Report of the financial world...

Tyler = Drudge...

Whatever it takes to sell ads...

Mon, 11/19/2012 - 15:10 | 2996469's picture

Try a little sweet talk with the ladies. A man's word is his bond.

Mon, 11/19/2012 - 15:17 | 2996494 NewThor
NewThor's picture

Buy a Japanese Bond, then you get a happy ending and a haircut!

Mon, 11/19/2012 - 15:30 | 2996564 strannick
strannick's picture

I actually cross reference Bloomberg to ZH to see if a story is real

Mon, 11/19/2012 - 15:49 | 2996656 NewThor
NewThor's picture

I wish Bloomberg TV would do a female financial analyst swimsuit calender.

I do like how the worse the economy gets, the more cleavage Caroline Hyde shows.


Mon, 11/19/2012 - 16:06 | 2996703 greased up deaf guy
greased up deaf guy's picture


Mon, 11/19/2012 - 16:44 | 2996814 Manthong
Manthong's picture

Um.. I don’t find this humorous.

I find it frightening.

Mon, 11/19/2012 - 18:49 | 2997190 Squid-puppets a...
Squid-puppets a-go-go's picture

Gangnam style!!!!

Mon, 11/19/2012 - 22:49 | 2997777 dbomb12
dbomb12's picture

Looks like an underage porn ad

Tue, 11/20/2012 - 02:22 | 2998044 patb
patb's picture

What's the difference between a Soapland and a portfolio of Long term JGB bonds?


Only one will make you look forward to the purchase.

Tue, 11/20/2012 - 06:08 | 2998169 knukles
knukles's picture

Hey ladies!
I own a long Japanese Long Bond with a big Fat Coupon.


(waving hands about jumping up and down running in circles making ass of self)

Tue, 11/20/2012 - 06:09 | 2998170 knukles
knukles's picture


Tue, 11/20/2012 - 06:12 | 2998172 knukles
knukles's picture

Penis Envy

Also reminds me of back in the day trying to prong hairy smelly dumb liberal chicks that I'd roll up the Sunday NY Times and jam it down my jeans....
Whata thrill!

Always made sure that Maureen Dowd's column was on the top.

Mon, 11/19/2012 - 16:44 | 2996822 MillionDollarBoner_
MillionDollarBoner_'s picture

Sweet Caroline.

She gets me up in the mornings !;o)

Mon, 11/19/2012 - 15:33 | 2996568 MillionDollarBonus_
MillionDollarBonus_'s picture

But it’s true. Nerdy  doomer libertarians and insane silverbug preppers never get laid. Girls like hip educated liberals, not lame uptight rednecks. Libertarians need to loosen up a bit and stop getting so worked up about “free speech” and “the second amendment”. It’s just irritating and lame. Progressives are not only making progress in politics - they are also getting laid. Nerdy libertarians and preppers need to get out more.  It’s simply not cool to be an ignorant right-winger - if you’re not part of the Obama revolution, then you’re seriously missing out on some fun. Seriously dudes ... stop freaking out about the economy – the government is working on it ... just chill morons.

Mon, 11/19/2012 - 15:33 | 2996582 NewThor
NewThor's picture

Thank you, Dr. Poop-on-your-tongue.

Mon, 11/19/2012 - 15:35 | 2996595 Leopold B. Scotch
Leopold B. Scotch's picture

You get free phones too.

Mon, 11/19/2012 - 15:40 | 2996625 NewThor
NewThor's picture

Come back and talk to me when I get free DRONES, Leo. 

Mon, 11/19/2012 - 15:43 | 2996638 BKbroiler
BKbroiler's picture

Million Dollar Bonus/Elizabeth Warren 2016

keep up the good work man...

Mon, 11/19/2012 - 17:06 | 2996885 rqb1
rqb1's picture

mdb, not a bad post, you have not been as entertaining recently. 

i like the phrase Silverbug.  i think those guys will be pretty popular with the ladies soon.

Mon, 11/19/2012 - 15:35 | 2996590's picture

A prepper may someday earn that coveted title: "Last Man on Earth." Supply and demand.

Mon, 11/19/2012 - 15:36 | 2996591 Leopold B. Scotch
Leopold B. Scotch's picture

Don't feed the trollski.

Mon, 11/19/2012 - 15:37 | 2996592 BLOTTO
BLOTTO's picture

In Japan, a country once regarded as conservative, nobody wants to marry anymore. 

In Japan, 61% of single males, between 18-34, said they don't have a girlfriend and 50% don't want one. 

50% of Japanese women born in the 1970's have no children. 30% of Japanese women 30-34 are now single. Thirty years ago, only 2% of women this age were not married. 
The problem is Asia-wide.  In Bangkok, 27% of women in the 30-34 age group are single. South Koreans complain that women are in a marriage strike. 

Japan is the country where the situation is most dire.The birth rate is 1.39 children per woman.  
Japan's population will keep declining by about one million people every year, which will leave Japan with a population of 87 million in 2060. By that time, more than 40% of the population is expected to be over the age of 65. The economy will implode. -HM . ... Once again, . Destroy - families, identities, nationalites, financials and gender... Replace with ONE . Divide and conquer.
Mon, 11/19/2012 - 15:37 | 2996606 Leopold B. Scotch
Leopold B. Scotch's picture

Heck.  Have you seen their robotic, life-like "alternatives" over there?  I don't know if I'd get a grilfriend or married, either.

Mon, 11/19/2012 - 15:47 | 2996649 ZerOhead
ZerOhead's picture

Time to send in some Nigerians?

Mon, 11/19/2012 - 15:47 | 2996655 economics9698
economics9698's picture

Socialism, the biggest boner killer ever invented. 

Mon, 11/19/2012 - 15:53 | 2996671 NewThor
NewThor's picture


Putting the glass tube in the penis hole then smashing it is still the #1 boner killer of all time.

Cheese grater still holds #2.


Mon, 11/19/2012 - 15:59 | 2996682 willwork4food
willwork4food's picture

That means Adeline Albright holds #3?

Mon, 11/19/2012 - 16:03 | 2996693 FrankDrakman
FrankDrakman's picture

Maxine Waters, Nancy Pelosi, Debbie Wasserman #'s 4,5,6..

oh, hell, throw in the whole female Democratic caucus, up to and including Hillary.

Palin and Bachman may be a bit bonkers, but I'd bonk them before any of the above.

Mon, 11/19/2012 - 17:02 | 2996877 MillionDollarBoner_
MillionDollarBoner_'s picture

A Japanese woman goes to her doctor. "Doctor, I cannot get a boyfriend - what is wrong with me?" The doctor says "I think I know but I have to do a simple test. Take off all your clothes, then get down on the floor and crawl away from me. Good. Now turn around and crawl back towards me. Okay, now put your clothes back on." The woman gets dressed and says "Doctor, do you know what the problem is?" The doctor says "Yes, you have Ed Zachary Disease." "Ed Zachary Disease?" says the woman, "What's that then?" The doctor says...













"It when your face rook edzakery rike your arse" !;o)

Mon, 11/19/2012 - 19:00 | 2997222 Quantum Nucleonics
Quantum Nucleonics's picture

Barbara Mikulski before Debbie Wasserman.

Mon, 11/19/2012 - 15:40 | 2996628 BLOTTO
BLOTTO's picture
Herbivore Men One of the most appalling phenomena is the herbivore men (soushokukei danshi), named this way because they prefer to eat grass by the side of a female than to go for the "meat". They are a more passive version of the western metrosexual, a man focused on his looks, cosmetics and grooming, who wastes his time with video games, anime cartoons and candy.
Some look astonishingly like girls, and surveys indicate that they comprise from 30% to 60% of young men in the 20-30 year-old group. .
Hikikomori men A more serious phenomenon is the Hikikomori. These are males who simply don't leave their rooms, don't have any social life and usually live with their parents. The Ministry of Health estimates that about 3,600,000 hikikomori live in Japan. Some of them spend their whole lives on the internet and don't join their families even for meals, which are just left by their doors.
Mon, 11/19/2012 - 15:47 | 2996651 Stuntgirl
Stuntgirl's picture

There's that, for sure.

There's also the cultural gap between females and males (still workable males).

Japanese men expect to marry a lifelong servant.

Educated women choose to stay single and go after foreigners, leave the country, or live on their own.

Mon, 11/19/2012 - 18:54 | 2997204 Citxmech
Citxmech's picture

I sent away for one of those "Asian Bride" catalogs for fun many years back - damn thing came and every single chick on there demanded advanced degrees and >6 figure salaries.

Mon, 11/19/2012 - 16:07 | 2996706 Skateboarder
Skateboarder's picture

I only go to my room to sleep. There is more to life than sitting in a box, or looking at a box. Even when all has gone to shit, there are three aspects of living that make a person happy regardless of anything else, and a person is happiest when all three are in balance: scientific/objective knowledge and experiment, arts and crafts, and physical fitness. Imo just because your ancestors forsaked you doesn't mean you have to forsake yourself.



Mon, 11/19/2012 - 17:57 | 2996992 Svendblaaskaeg
Svendblaaskaeg's picture

"scientific/objective knowledge and experiment"


Mon, 11/19/2012 - 16:09 | 2996709 centerline
centerline's picture

Wow.  What a mess.  A culture in full meltdown.

Mon, 11/19/2012 - 16:26 | 2996763 NewThor
NewThor's picture

Justin Bieber says "Fuck all you trill ass pussy nigga haters."



You were talking about Japanese culture.

My bad. 

Stand back up and carry on.

Mon, 11/19/2012 - 16:55 | 2996858 centerline
centerline's picture


Mon, 11/19/2012 - 18:56 | 2997208 Quantum Nucleonics
Quantum Nucleonics's picture

Actually seems healthy for the human race.  Natural selection trimming the weak branches from the tree.  We used to have wars to do this stuff.  Now people just sit quietly in their rooms, waiting to be removed from the gene pool.  Quite sanitary.  In 70 years, they will have a smart, attractive, stable population of 50 million.

Tue, 11/20/2012 - 05:33 | 2998141 Ar-Pharazôn
Ar-Pharazôn's picture

Hikkomori man are a typical western problem, i live in Switzerland i personally know more than one Hikkomori

Mon, 11/19/2012 - 16:00 | 2996684 FrankDrakman
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In Japan, 61% of single males, between 18-34, said they don't have a girlfriend and 50% don't want one.

Saw a promo for a sitcom last night. Guy's being mugged, and instead of saying "Don't shoot! I have a wife and kids!" he says:

"Don't shoot! I'm not married and my life is perfect!"

Mon, 11/19/2012 - 16:17 | 2996734 Ignatius
Ignatius's picture

"In Japan, 61% of single males, between 18-34, said they don't have a girlfriend and 50% don't want one. "

The porn must be that good.

Tue, 11/20/2012 - 00:04 | 2997910 cynicalskeptic
cynicalskeptic's picture

nah... it's cause schoolgirls do tricks for spending money.....   Japan has a really creepy obsession thing going on with teen age girls

Mon, 11/19/2012 - 16:46 | 2996829 slackrabbit
slackrabbit's picture

hmmm is that a bad thing?

Lots of one night stands and no hassles till your 40 ;-)

Mon, 11/19/2012 - 15:43 | 2996639 ZerOhead
ZerOhead's picture

+1000   Thanks for the bitch slap back to reality MDB...


Mon, 11/19/2012 - 15:51 | 2996666 LynRobison
LynRobison's picture

What a relief to hear that "the government is working on [the ecomomy]". Nothing to worry about now! The government should have the economy squared away in no time!

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