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Monday Humor: Sex Sells... Japanese Bonds

Tyler Durden's picture


As many prepare for the imminent demise of the JPY (courtesy of Abe's aggression), Mike Krieger of Liberty Blitzkrieg reminds us of possibly the greatest (and most unbelievably hilarious) financial advertisement ever. From our friends across the ocean, "Men that own government bonds are popular with the ladies!" Don't believe its real? Bloomberg story here.



(h/t Mike Krieger)


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Mon, 11/19/2012 - 15:08 | Link to Comment tmosley
tmosley's picture

Sovereign Bankrupt Style

Mon, 11/19/2012 - 15:10 | Link to Comment Seorse Gorog fr...
Seorse Gorog from that Quantum Entanglement Fund. alright_.-'s picture

'Gentlemen prefer bonds', obviously. They got Game.

Mon, 11/19/2012 - 15:10 | Link to Comment slaughterer
slaughterer's picture

What does Kyle Bass have to offer Japanese bachelors?  Hayman Capital clients need to know a.s.a.p.  

Mon, 11/19/2012 - 15:13 | Link to Comment unky
unky's picture

biggest joke ever, do u have the original source (except this bloomberg article?)

Mon, 11/19/2012 - 15:16 | Link to Comment Killer the Buzzard
Killer the Buzzard's picture

Gentlemen prefer bonds.

Mon, 11/19/2012 - 15:17 | Link to Comment timbo_em
timbo_em's picture

What's next? Buying Japanese bonds makes your wiener grow?

Mon, 11/19/2012 - 15:17 | Link to Comment Agent P
Agent P's picture

Japanese men...satisfying women with their, rates.  I love it when stereotypes play out in reality.

Mon, 11/19/2012 - 15:18 | Link to Comment Pancho Villa
Pancho Villa's picture

I guess the Japanese haven't heard of golddiggers.

Owning JGB's shows the guy is rich and stupid. What more could a girl want?

Mon, 11/19/2012 - 15:33 | Link to Comment MsCreant
MsCreant's picture

Dunno. Kind of like picking up nickels in front of a steam roller. I say get in, get out, take your profits rapidly if your going to mine for gold like that.

Mon, 11/19/2012 - 16:12 | Link to Comment catacl1sm
catacl1sm's picture

Silver nickles?


Mon, 11/19/2012 - 15:39 | Link to Comment Bam_Man
Bam_Man's picture

Anyone here know how to say "Jumping the Shark" in Japanese?

Reeks of pure desperation.

Mon, 11/19/2012 - 15:19 | Link to Comment PUD
PUD's picture

You crazy GI! You buy bond make dinky dao!

Mon, 11/19/2012 - 15:20 | Link to Comment mrks
mrks's picture

Fun fact: The Bloomberg article (and therefore the whole ad campaign) is from back in June 2010.

So.... Nothing to see here, move along.

Mon, 11/19/2012 - 15:21 | Link to Comment Bam_Man
Bam_Man's picture

Next, they will offer coupons for "Free trip to Soapland" with each bond.

Mon, 11/19/2012 - 15:23 | Link to Comment Seasmoke
Seasmoke's picture

Oh yes I have lots of bonds. Now suck my dick.

Mon, 11/19/2012 - 15:25 | Link to Comment TheCanadianAustrian
TheCanadianAustrian's picture

Hrmm, so what happens to my love life if I buy 10x leveraged bond funds?

Mon, 11/19/2012 - 15:42 | Link to Comment SokPOTUS
SokPOTUS's picture

You'll need a Percentage Pump just to keep up...

Mon, 11/19/2012 - 15:25 | Link to Comment ebworthen
ebworthen's picture

Does this mean bonds will be sold in 6", 8", and 10" denominations?

Will I get 4% on a 8" long X 5-1/2" circumference bond?

Will it be tax free?

Will I get laid?

Mon, 11/19/2012 - 15:31 | Link to Comment Alpha Monkey
Alpha Monkey's picture

Not if they are japanese...

Mon, 11/19/2012 - 15:38 | Link to Comment Unprepared
Unprepared's picture

You can enter a back-to-back trade for a dirty price of 10'' and a duration of 30 minutes. However, you are running the risk of booking a substantial haircut.

Mon, 11/19/2012 - 15:26 | Link to Comment Unprepared
Unprepared's picture

I would rather go long Dong bonds to hedge my duration and liquidity risk.

Mon, 11/19/2012 - 15:28 | Link to Comment resurger
resurger's picture



Mon, 11/19/2012 - 15:29 | Link to Comment Atlantis Consigliore
Atlantis Consigliore's picture

Jenna Jamieson for CNBC topless gets you a Corzine discount. SEC approval included.

Mon, 11/19/2012 - 15:31 | Link to Comment debtor of last ...
debtor of last resort's picture

How about some bondage ?

Mon, 11/19/2012 - 15:37 | Link to Comment Byte Me
Byte Me's picture


No Babes in Beach Towels? Gotta have beach towels or it'll be a 'nobvious scam..

Mon, 11/19/2012 - 16:05 | Link to Comment cbxer55
cbxer55's picture

Spiderman beech towels! Bitchez

Mon, 11/19/2012 - 15:46 | Link to Comment SokPOTUS
SokPOTUS's picture

...because what girl doesn't want a threesome with a bad-hair geeky dude on a bed of Yen?

Mon, 11/19/2012 - 15:55 | Link to Comment Mad Mohel
Mad Mohel's picture

Seriously using pussy to sell government debt!? Deodorant I can understand, but bonds? Once they resort to the lowest common denominator, you know it's game over. Somewhere there is a fat broad getting ready to sing.

Tue, 11/20/2012 - 08:05 | Link to Comment StychoKiller
StychoKiller's picture

This fat broad have a bond fetish too?  ("Oh, sweet mystery of life at last I've found you!")

Mon, 11/19/2012 - 15:58 | Link to Comment GreatUncle
GreatUncle's picture

Looking for a new group of investors? Or another group that can be devoured and pretend everything is working out just fine!

Will it all work out in the end? If so why are they seeking out new groups to hold bonds?

Define the end.

Easy that, when every Japanese citizen holds government bonds.

Next up, might take a couple of years for it to catch on reckon the west will try the same trick. No solution, a deferral until you cannot defer anymore.


Mon, 11/19/2012 - 16:02 | Link to Comment Mongo
Mongo's picture

Banksta style!

Mon, 11/19/2012 - 16:03 | Link to Comment Essential Nexus
Essential Nexus's picture

Maybe if Hyperinflation is a sexual term...

Mon, 11/19/2012 - 16:15 | Link to Comment pitz
pitz's picture

The Japanese religion, SUKI (tm), The New World Religion (tm) has recently begun to call itself the so-called "motherfucking religion".  Yet another example of bizarre Japanese marketing.

Mon, 11/19/2012 - 16:21 | Link to Comment JamesBond
JamesBond's picture

they are more interested in bondage than bonds -


Mon, 11/19/2012 - 16:43 | Link to Comment slackrabbit
slackrabbit's picture

Those bonds smell fishy..

Mon, 11/19/2012 - 16:49 | Link to Comment Jreb
Jreb's picture


Mon, 11/19/2012 - 17:44 | Link to Comment hmmtellmemore
hmmtellmemore's picture

Why is it all Japanese women prefer to color their hair like a white woman?  I thought Japanese were xenophobic.

Mon, 11/19/2012 - 17:48 | Link to Comment Gimp
Gimp's picture

My Gosh. Are those girls twelve years old...someone call the police.

Mon, 11/19/2012 - 18:50 | Link to Comment GFORCE
GFORCE's picture

"I want a man who'll set a floor of 100 Usd/Yen and help our exporters!"

Mon, 11/19/2012 - 23:31 | Link to Comment reader2010
reader2010's picture

Buying the Bonds Gets You Free Vouchers for Whoring. Priceless.

Tue, 11/20/2012 - 01:01 | Link to Comment Itch
Itch's picture

I dont know who comes off worse in this....women or government bonds? Ah well, not to worry, there  is always pokemon. 

Tue, 11/20/2012 - 04:17 | Link to Comment are we there yet
are we there yet's picture

For that kind of add I expect at least a C cup. This mans assets need to go to maturity first.

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