Monday Humor: Sex Sells... Japanese Bonds

Tyler Durden's picture

As many prepare for the imminent demise of the JPY (courtesy of Abe's aggression), Mike Krieger of Liberty Blitzkrieg reminds us of possibly the greatest (and most unbelievably hilarious) financial advertisement ever. From our friends across the ocean, "Men that own government bonds are popular with the ladies!" Don't believe its real? Bloomberg story here.



(h/t Mike Krieger)

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tmosley's picture

Sovereign Bankrupt Style

Seorse Gorog from that Quantum Entanglement Fund. alright_.-'s picture

'Gentlemen prefer bonds', obviously. They got Game.

slaughterer's picture

What does Kyle Bass have to offer Japanese bachelors?  Hayman Capital clients need to know a.s.a.p.  

unky's picture

biggest joke ever, do u have the original source (except this bloomberg article?)

Killer the Buzzard's picture

Gentlemen prefer bonds.

timbo_em's picture

What's next? Buying Japanese bonds makes your wiener grow?

Agent P's picture

Japanese men...satisfying women with their, rates.  I love it when stereotypes play out in reality.

Pancho Villa's picture

I guess the Japanese haven't heard of golddiggers.

Owning JGB's shows the guy is rich and stupid. What more could a girl want?

MsCreant's picture

Dunno. Kind of like picking up nickels in front of a steam roller. I say get in, get out, take your profits rapidly if your going to mine for gold like that.

Bam_Man's picture

Anyone here know how to say "Jumping the Shark" in Japanese?

Reeks of pure desperation.

PUD's picture

You crazy GI! You buy bond make dinky dao!

mrks's picture

Fun fact: The Bloomberg article (and therefore the whole ad campaign) is from back in June 2010.

So.... Nothing to see here, move along.

Bam_Man's picture

Next, they will offer coupons for "Free trip to Soapland" with each bond.

Seasmoke's picture

Oh yes I have lots of bonds. Now suck my dick.

TheCanadianAustrian's picture

Hrmm, so what happens to my love life if I buy 10x leveraged bond funds?

SokPOTUS's picture

You'll need a Percentage Pump just to keep up...

ebworthen's picture

Does this mean bonds will be sold in 6", 8", and 10" denominations?

Will I get 4% on a 8" long X 5-1/2" circumference bond?

Will it be tax free?

Will I get laid?

Alpha Monkey's picture

Not if they are japanese...

Unprepared's picture

You can enter a back-to-back trade for a dirty price of 10'' and a duration of 30 minutes. However, you are running the risk of booking a substantial haircut.

Unprepared's picture

I would rather go long Dong bonds to hedge my duration and liquidity risk.

Atlantis Consigliore's picture

Jenna Jamieson for CNBC topless gets you a Corzine discount. SEC approval included.

debtor of last resort's picture

How about some bondage ?

Byte Me's picture


No Babes in Beach Towels? Gotta have beach towels or it'll be a 'nobvious scam..

cbxer55's picture

Spiderman beech towels! Bitchez

SokPOTUS's picture

...because what girl doesn't want a threesome with a bad-hair geeky dude on a bed of Yen?

Mad Mohel's picture

Seriously using pussy to sell government debt!? Deodorant I can understand, but bonds? Once they resort to the lowest common denominator, you know it's game over. Somewhere there is a fat broad getting ready to sing.

StychoKiller's picture

This fat broad have a bond fetish too?  ("Oh, sweet mystery of life at last I've found you!")

GreatUncle's picture

Looking for a new group of investors? Or another group that can be devoured and pretend everything is working out just fine!

Will it all work out in the end? If so why are they seeking out new groups to hold bonds?

Define the end.

Easy that, when every Japanese citizen holds government bonds.

Next up, might take a couple of years for it to catch on reckon the west will try the same trick. No solution, a deferral until you cannot defer anymore.


Mongo's picture

Banksta style!

Essential Nexus's picture

Maybe if Hyperinflation is a sexual term...

pitz's picture

The Japanese religion, SUKI (tm), The New World Religion (tm) has recently begun to call itself the so-called "motherfucking religion".  Yet another example of bizarre Japanese marketing.

JamesBond's picture

they are more interested in bondage than bonds -


slackrabbit's picture

Those bonds smell fishy..

hmmtellmemore's picture

Why is it all Japanese women prefer to color their hair like a white woman?  I thought Japanese were xenophobic.

Gimp's picture

My Gosh. Are those girls twelve years old...someone call the police.

GFORCE's picture

"I want a man who'll set a floor of 100 Usd/Yen and help our exporters!"

reader2010's picture

Buying the Bonds Gets You Free Vouchers for Whoring. Priceless.

Itch's picture

I dont know who comes off worse in this....women or government bonds? Ah well, not to worry, there  is always pokemon. 

are we there yet's picture

For that kind of add I expect at least a C cup. This mans assets need to go to maturity first.