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Monday Humor: Sex Sells... Japanese Bonds

Tyler Durden's picture


As many prepare for the imminent demise of the JPY (courtesy of Abe's aggression), Mike Krieger of Liberty Blitzkrieg reminds us of possibly the greatest (and most unbelievably hilarious) financial advertisement ever. From our friends across the ocean, "Men that own government bonds are popular with the ladies!" Don't believe its real? Bloomberg story here.



(h/t Mike Krieger)

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Mon, 11/19/2012 - 15:08 | 2996463 tmosley
tmosley's picture

Sovereign Bankrupt Style

Mon, 11/19/2012 - 15:10 | 2996472 Seorse Gorog fr...
Seorse Gorog from that Quantum Entanglement Fund. alright_.-'s picture

'Gentlemen prefer bonds', obviously. They got Game.

Mon, 11/19/2012 - 15:10 | 2996473 slaughterer
slaughterer's picture

What does Kyle Bass have to offer Japanese bachelors?  Hayman Capital clients need to know a.s.a.p.  

Mon, 11/19/2012 - 15:13 | 2996478 unky
unky's picture

biggest joke ever, do u have the original source (except this bloomberg article?)

Mon, 11/19/2012 - 15:16 | 2996491 Killer the Buzzard
Killer the Buzzard's picture

Gentlemen prefer bonds.

Mon, 11/19/2012 - 15:17 | 2996492 timbo_em
timbo_em's picture

What's next? Buying Japanese bonds makes your wiener grow?

Mon, 11/19/2012 - 15:17 | 2996496 Agent P
Agent P's picture

Japanese men...satisfying women with their small...um, rates.  I love it when stereotypes play out in reality.

Mon, 11/19/2012 - 15:18 | 2996497 Pancho Villa
Pancho Villa's picture

I guess the Japanese haven't heard of golddiggers.

Owning JGB's shows the guy is rich and stupid. What more could a girl want?

Mon, 11/19/2012 - 15:33 | 2996578 MsCreant
MsCreant's picture

Dunno. Kind of like picking up nickels in front of a steam roller. I say get in, get out, take your profits rapidly if your going to mine for gold like that.

Mon, 11/19/2012 - 16:12 | 2996713 catacl1sm
catacl1sm's picture

Silver nickles?


Mon, 11/19/2012 - 15:39 | 2996502 Bam_Man
Bam_Man's picture

Anyone here know how to say "Jumping the Shark" in Japanese?

Reeks of pure desperation.

Mon, 11/19/2012 - 15:19 | 2996505 PUD
PUD's picture

You crazy GI! You buy bond make dinky dao!

Mon, 11/19/2012 - 15:20 | 2996507 mrks
mrks's picture

Fun fact: The Bloomberg article (and therefore the whole ad campaign) is from back in June 2010.

So.... Nothing to see here, move along.

Mon, 11/19/2012 - 15:21 | 2996515 Bam_Man
Bam_Man's picture

Next, they will offer coupons for "Free trip to Soapland" with each bond.

Mon, 11/19/2012 - 15:23 | 2996527 Seasmoke
Seasmoke's picture

Oh yes I have lots of bonds. Now suck my dick.

Mon, 11/19/2012 - 15:25 | 2996534 TheCanadianAustrian
TheCanadianAustrian's picture

Hrmm, so what happens to my love life if I buy 10x leveraged bond funds?

Mon, 11/19/2012 - 15:42 | 2996636 SokPOTUS
SokPOTUS's picture

You'll need a Percentage Pump just to keep up...

Mon, 11/19/2012 - 15:25 | 2996535 ebworthen
ebworthen's picture

Does this mean bonds will be sold in 6", 8", and 10" denominations?

Will I get 4% on a 8" long X 5-1/2" circumference bond?

Will it be tax free?

Will I get laid?

Mon, 11/19/2012 - 15:31 | 2996574 Alpha Monkey
Alpha Monkey's picture

Not if they are japanese...

Mon, 11/19/2012 - 15:38 | 2996614 Unprepared
Unprepared's picture

You can enter a back-to-back trade for a dirty price of 10'' and a duration of 30 minutes. However, you are running the risk of booking a substantial haircut.

Mon, 11/19/2012 - 15:26 | 2996542 Unprepared
Unprepared's picture

I would rather go long Dong bonds to hedge my duration and liquidity risk.

Mon, 11/19/2012 - 15:28 | 2996555 resurger
resurger's picture



Mon, 11/19/2012 - 15:29 | 2996562 Atlantis Consigliore
Atlantis Consigliore's picture

Jenna Jamieson for CNBC topless gets you a Corzine discount. SEC approval included.

Mon, 11/19/2012 - 15:31 | 2996572 debtor of last ...
debtor of last resort's picture

How about some bondage ?

Mon, 11/19/2012 - 15:37 | 2996604 Byte Me
Byte Me's picture


No Babes in Beach Towels? Gotta have beach towels or it'll be a 'nobvious scam..

Mon, 11/19/2012 - 16:05 | 2996699 cbxer55
cbxer55's picture

Spiderman beech towels! Bitchez

Mon, 11/19/2012 - 15:46 | 2996647 SokPOTUS
SokPOTUS's picture

...because what girl doesn't want a threesome with a bad-hair geeky dude on a bed of Yen?

Mon, 11/19/2012 - 15:55 | 2996673 Mad Mohel
Mad Mohel's picture

Seriously using pussy to sell government debt!? Deodorant I can understand, but bonds? Once they resort to the lowest common denominator, you know it's game over. Somewhere there is a fat broad getting ready to sing.

Tue, 11/20/2012 - 08:05 | 2998252 StychoKiller
StychoKiller's picture

This fat broad have a bond fetish too?  ("Oh, sweet mystery of life at last I've found you!")

Mon, 11/19/2012 - 15:58 | 2996679 GreatUncle
GreatUncle's picture

Looking for a new group of investors? Or another group that can be devoured and pretend everything is working out just fine!

Will it all work out in the end? If so why are they seeking out new groups to hold bonds?

Define the end.

Easy that, when every Japanese citizen holds government bonds.

Next up, might take a couple of years for it to catch on reckon the west will try the same trick. No solution, a deferral until you cannot defer anymore.


Mon, 11/19/2012 - 16:02 | 2996691 Mongo
Mongo's picture

Banksta style!

Mon, 11/19/2012 - 16:03 | 2996694 Essential Nexus
Essential Nexus's picture

Maybe if Hyperinflation is a sexual term...

Mon, 11/19/2012 - 16:15 | 2996725 pitz
pitz's picture

The Japanese religion, SUKI (tm), The New World Religion (tm) has recently begun to call itself the so-called "motherfucking religion".  Yet another example of bizarre Japanese marketing.

Mon, 11/19/2012 - 16:21 | 2996746 JamesBond
JamesBond's picture

they are more interested in bondage than bonds -


Mon, 11/19/2012 - 16:43 | 2996816 slackrabbit
slackrabbit's picture

Those bonds smell fishy..

Mon, 11/19/2012 - 16:49 | 2996835 Jreb
Jreb's picture


Mon, 11/19/2012 - 17:44 | 2996962 hmmtellmemore
hmmtellmemore's picture

Why is it all Japanese women prefer to color their hair like a white woman?  I thought Japanese were xenophobic.

Mon, 11/19/2012 - 17:48 | 2996965 Gimp
Gimp's picture

My Gosh. Are those girls twelve years old...someone call the police.

Mon, 11/19/2012 - 18:50 | 2997193 GFORCE
GFORCE's picture

"I want a man who'll set a floor of 100 Usd/Yen and help our exporters!"

Mon, 11/19/2012 - 23:31 | 2997841 reader2010
reader2010's picture

Buying the Bonds Gets You Free Vouchers for Whoring. Priceless.

Tue, 11/20/2012 - 01:01 | 2997975 Itch
Itch's picture

I dont know who comes off worse in this....women or government bonds? Ah well, not to worry, there  is always pokemon. 

Tue, 11/20/2012 - 04:17 | 2998110 are we there yet
are we there yet's picture

For that kind of add I expect at least a C cup. This mans assets need to go to maturity first.

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