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Hewlett Packard Implodes After Disclosing Accounting Fraud At Autonomy plc Business

Tyler Durden's picture




 

That Hewlett Packard would miss results (it did, with revenues coming at $30.0 billion on expectations of $30.4 billion, guiding Q1 ESP $0.68-$0.71 on expectations of $0.85) is no surprise to anyone who had followed the stock, and/or seen the recent dump of half of Seth Klarman's stake in the name (as was pointed out here previously). What was not only surprising, but shocking is that as part of its earnings announcement, HPQ took a $8.8 billion impairment charge to intangibles and earnings, primarily as a result of what it said was "serious accounting improprieties, disclosure failures and outright misrepresentations at Autonomy Corporation plc that occurred prior to HP's acquisition of Autonomy and the associated impact of those improprieties, failures and misrepresentations on the expected future financial performance of the Autonomy business over the long-term." As a reminder, HPQ bought Autonomy plc for $10.3 billion in August 2011. We now learn that anywhere between 50% and 80% of this purchase price was based on meaningless numbers and fraud. $10.3 billion is also about 40% of what HPQ's market cap will be when the stock opens down at least 10%. And this is how one destroys shareholder value. One in this case being the company's former CEO Leo Apotheker, whose executive decisions and lack of diligence have left the company in a state of complete disaster. What was Leo's punishment for his brief tenure on top of HPQ and swath of absolute value destruction? $25,000,000 in all in comp.

 

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Tue, 11/20/2012 - 08:54 | 2998299 GetZeeGold
GetZeeGold's picture

 

 

If your gonna buy HP.....make sure you get the extended warranty.

Tue, 11/20/2012 - 08:58 | 2998308 Zer0head
Zer0head's picture

what is a derrivative play on this, as in who depends on HP

Tue, 11/20/2012 - 09:01 | 2998317 ZippyBananaPants
ZippyBananaPants's picture

Fuck, now my HP-28 black ink is going to cost even more!

Tue, 11/20/2012 - 09:06 | 2998326 Zer0head
Zer0head's picture

but the red ink is on sale

Tue, 11/20/2012 - 10:37 | 2998574 economics9698
economics9698's picture

That HP ink cost more than the printer.

Tue, 11/20/2012 - 11:14 | 2998698 Bananamerican
Bananamerican's picture

"CEO Leo Apotheker, whose executive decisions and lack of diligence have left the company in a state of complete disaster-$25,000,000 in all in comp.

"fucking unions did it"-right wing ZHer

Tue, 11/20/2012 - 13:38 | 2999222 TruthInSunshine
TruthInSunshine's picture

From Leo Apotheker to Meg Whitman =  from the frying pan into the fire.

Bill Hewlett & Dave Packard shout "WTFbitchez!!!!" from their graves.

 

They should turn the quest for HP's next CEO (and COO) into a reality TV show, screening a pool of candidates exclusively from Wal-Mart Greeters.

"Who Wants to Be Hewlett-Packard's Next CEO?"

They could put them on a remote island, and have them compete in feats of enormous athletic and mental strain, to win prizes like Snickers candy bars, pizza & immunity.

Tue, 11/20/2012 - 11:48 | 2998801 realitybiter
realitybiter's picture

and that printer costs more than HPQ

 

its a value thing

Tue, 11/20/2012 - 09:08 | 2998329 Snidley Whipsnae
Snidley Whipsnae's picture

So... This news is good for how big a ramp job?

and, at ~ 6:30 am commodities (oil, PMs) came under extreme attack.

http://finviz.com/forex.ashx

Tue, 11/20/2012 - 09:20 | 2998354 GetZeeGold
GetZeeGold's picture

 

 

Just a little payback for yesterday.....fair is fair.

Tue, 11/20/2012 - 12:04 | 2998841 goldfish1
goldfish1's picture

Waiting to hear the amount of the forthcoming bonuses.

Tue, 11/20/2012 - 12:31 | 2998970 Ident 7777 economy
Ident 7777 economy's picture

 

 

 

-1

 

GetZeeGold:

" If your gonna buy HP.....make sure ... "

 

Marked down for not even an inkling you tried to use a contraction:

 

It's YOU'RE not YOUR in the above ...

Tue, 11/20/2012 - 08:55 | 2998300 fonzannoon
fonzannoon's picture

Crazy Eddie was right in that interview with Laurern Lyster.

Tue, 11/20/2012 - 09:12 | 2998344 Robot Traders Mom
Robot Traders Mom's picture

Their debt has really started to trade off...It sticks out. Their only saving grace is about $4B in govt contracts...

Tue, 11/20/2012 - 08:56 | 2998302 Acet
Acet's picture

Wealth creators Bitchez!

Tue, 11/20/2012 - 08:57 | 2998303 orangegeek
orangegeek's picture

France downgrades.  HP takes a dump. NASDAQ100 is down one point this morning.

 

http://bullandbearmash.com/chart/nasdaq100-hourly-gaps-reason-social-mood/

 

And the markets become a bigger farce that knows no bounds.

Tue, 11/20/2012 - 09:11 | 2998338 JPM Hater001
JPM Hater001's picture

Beer time?

Tue, 11/20/2012 - 10:22 | 2998517 exi1ed0ne
exi1ed0ne's picture

Today we salute you. Mr. Market manipulation guy.

(Mr. Market manipulation guy!)

Buying AAPL, NFLX, and UST puts, but still have time to troll on ZH.

(MDB is my hero!)

Sure it's a tough job, but creating bad market fiction is more than just a job for George Lucas.

(Han still shot first!)

You demonstrate your dedication and efficiency by squeezing shorts in the market and by watching tranny porn.

(Don't forget to wash that hand!)

So crack open an ice cold Bud Light, Mr. Market manipulation guy because we know that ramps only go one way - until YOU decide they don't.

Tue, 11/20/2012 - 11:45 | 2998793 Dave Thomas
Dave Thomas's picture

(Miieeesttterrr Maaarrkeeettt Manniuppuplaation Guuuuyyieeeee!)

Tue, 11/20/2012 - 10:26 | 2998535 nonclaim
nonclaim's picture

"And the markets become a bigger farce that knows no bounds."

That's the problem with computers and algos... it knows all about price but nothing about value. And has no shame for the blatant ignorance.

Tue, 11/20/2012 - 08:58 | 2998305 tawse57
tawse57's picture

Sadly, I see negative news for HPQ will give rise to AAPL's price today - especially with HPQ saying that the PC market is still struggling.

Hope I am wrong.

Tue, 11/20/2012 - 09:00 | 2998310 GetZeeGold
GetZeeGold's picture

 

 

Which means Samsung is gonna jack the price of components.

Tue, 11/20/2012 - 11:41 | 2998782 realitybiter
realitybiter's picture

'bout freakin time.

 

Have you seen the sox index lately?  component prices MUST rise sometime in the next decade -

 and all the numbnuts who have been walking around with virtually free handheld devices that 20 years ago would have been deemed supercomputers will suddenly be very appreciative....

Tue, 11/20/2012 - 11:30 | 2998754 Bananamerican
Bananamerican's picture

in this market, "everything is the opposite of what it shall be"...

it's designed to strip-mine assets....

....don't play tawse

Tue, 11/20/2012 - 08:58 | 2998307 lizzy36
lizzy36's picture

HPQ is currently in the process of firing 27,000 employees, as someone has to pay for the massive errors of the C-suite, accountants, lawyers and i-bankers, who all walked away from Autonomy deal with handsome pay-outs (i-bankers made what ......in excess of $30mm in fees on deal).

In other news anyone know where i can send my resume to get an 11 month $25mm job where all i have to do is destroy $30 BILLION in market cap.

Tue, 11/20/2012 - 09:01 | 2998318 Zer0head
Zer0head's picture

K/F has always had a knack for those kind of placements

Tue, 11/20/2012 - 09:03 | 2998323 max2205
max2205's picture

AAPL. They lost $160B in three months

Tue, 11/20/2012 - 09:12 | 2998341 GetZeeGold
GetZeeGold's picture

 

 

I'm sure they'd appreciate anything you could donate to them.

Tue, 11/20/2012 - 09:19 | 2998351 JPM Hater001
JPM Hater001's picture

Hi Lizzy-

I hear agents of the Rothchilds are well compensated...try applying there...I think you apply here:

33 Liberty Street New York, NY 10045

Tue, 11/20/2012 - 09:32 | 2998386 spastic_colon
spastic_colon's picture

apply for any of the positions that supposedly did any due diligence pre-closing

Tue, 11/20/2012 - 09:53 | 2998429 Who is John Galt
Who is John Galt's picture

Who the FUCK is John Galt?

Tue, 11/20/2012 - 10:09 | 2998477 GetZeeGold
GetZeeGold's picture

 

 

Where is John Galt?

 

I called the UN and France......he's not there.

Tue, 11/20/2012 - 10:33 | 2998560 Mrmojorisin515
Mrmojorisin515's picture

well if you had half a brain you'd realize that its always the unions fault, i learned that from the many genius posters on the twinkie story.  Management always gets what it deserves, always

Tue, 11/20/2012 - 11:23 | 2998702 Buckaroo Banzai
Buckaroo Banzai's picture

Whatever you think about the moral and ethical value of unions, they ALWAYS destroy economic value. It's an iron law of free-market economics.

Management, on the other hand, can either create value or destroy value, depending on the quality of the individuals involved.

There are a lot more effective business managers in the world than ineffective managers. Just about every company that was ever built was built by a management team that was at least marginally competent. Bad managers are drawn into large, successful organizations because that's the only place they can hide; they are quickly exposed in smaller, or marginally successful businesses.

Tue, 11/20/2012 - 11:25 | 2998738 Mrmojorisin515
Mrmojorisin515's picture

all i know is that "management" has destroyed the basic system we live in.  Lying just about everything they could think of, and when it blew up in their face we bailed them out with all "our" money.  Unions serve a purpose, working 12 hour days in steel mills was prob a living nightmare, along with living in tenemants that house how many people in one room. Unions are a tool of the many against the greedy to ask for a basic standerd of living. 

Tue, 11/20/2012 - 11:47 | 2998799 Buckaroo Banzai
Buckaroo Banzai's picture

Why don't you re-read what I wrote, but this time read for comprehension.

Tue, 11/20/2012 - 08:59 | 2998309 EscapeKey
EscapeKey's picture

Hugely bullish. This means there's even MORE monies on the sidelinez just WAITING to scoop up BARGAINS like 2,700 PE-ratio Amazon.

Tue, 11/20/2012 - 09:20 | 2998355 JPM Hater001
JPM Hater001's picture

You arent suggesting there fundamental problems at Amazon are you?

Tue, 11/20/2012 - 09:04 | 2998311 Cdad
Cdad's picture

The rot in this nation runs deeper than all the criminal syndicate Wall Street bankers running around computer arbitraging stocks.  It runs deep through the American corporate culture, where quarterly reports are elaborate lies, and dark pools are hired to turn those lies into millions of dollars for said liars.

One can dream that the dirt on Wall Street could someday be cleaned up, but when one realizes that the rot runs deep through all of big business, it gets much harder to understand how we could ever turn America's broken morality in the right direction.

Good luck out there, future flesh-eating zombies.

Tue, 11/20/2012 - 09:06 | 2998327 Quinvarius
Quinvarius's picture

Most people assume they will still be a human survivor in the zombie apocalypse.  Odds are, you will be a zombie.  Best to start stockpiling brains now and begin working on your zombie skills--And buy a bolt on kevlar helmet.

Tue, 11/20/2012 - 09:10 | 2998334 tawse57
tawse57's picture

Does it mean at some point in our futures we will have a close encounter with Lollipop Chainsaw?

Tue, 11/20/2012 - 09:55 | 2998434 Miss Expectations
Miss Expectations's picture
Title: Sheeps Brains - Roasted or Baked Categories: Yield: 4 Servings Four or six brains will be required for a dish. Prepare the brains as for stewing, and procure as many slices of bacon as there are brains. After they have been boiled and thrown in cold water, drain and dry them perfectly; brush over with oil, and roll them in highly seasoned bread crumbs. Put them in the bacon before the fire in a Dutch oven or bake in a well-heated oven, turning them about that they may be equally cooked, and basting them occasionally. When they are nicely browned take them up. Lay the slices on bacon on toast, put the brains on them and send sharp sauce or tomato sauce to the table in a tureen. Sufficient for six or seven persons.
Tue, 11/20/2012 - 10:29 | 2998540 exi1ed0ne
exi1ed0ne's picture

Reminds me of a song - Statistician's Blues:

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IUK6zjtUj00

Tue, 11/20/2012 - 09:39 | 2998396 Metalredneck
Metalredneck's picture

Apparently , fraud is only bullish when a lot of whales make money from it.  Swindling by a few underlings is frowned upon.

Tue, 11/20/2012 - 09:00 | 2998312 max2205
max2205's picture

They paid $8 bill too much. How many $Bill too much did they pay for Compaq?

This is the old transfer of wealth ploy. You ain't seen nothing till Obammy gets going.

Tue, 11/20/2012 - 09:11 | 2998333 thepigman
thepigman's picture

Actually 9B too much and that's probably being very kind accounting for

the remaining pile of junk HP is left with:-)

Tue, 11/20/2012 - 09:34 | 2998391 spastic_colon
spastic_colon's picture

they took a page out of the AOL/time warner deal.....it you ain't got it, spend it!

Tue, 11/20/2012 - 09:00 | 2998314 Never One Roach
Never One Roach's picture

"Fraud never sleeps."

 

Seems to be both rampant and rampantly ignored by the DOJ and the SEC.

Tue, 11/20/2012 - 11:18 | 2998705 Bananamerican
Bananamerican's picture

don't worry NOV, "our boys" are on it...lol

...and corporate fraud is a proven moneymaker in amerika

Tue, 11/20/2012 - 09:01 | 2998315 LongSoupLine
LongSoupLine's picture

Bernanke badger don't care...

 

Operation "bonus pool ramp-o-thon" remains a go! 

Tue, 11/20/2012 - 09:01 | 2998316 Stochdoc
Stochdoc's picture

Damned glad I unloaded this POS in the 40s!

 

THe Board should go to prison.

Tue, 11/20/2012 - 09:03 | 2998321 Zer0head
Zer0head's picture

Best Buy showing some good numbers not

Tue, 11/20/2012 - 09:06 | 2998322 Oh regional Indian
Oh regional Indian's picture

In December 2005 Autonomy acquired Verity, Inc., one of its main competitors, for approximately US$500m.[6] In 2005 Autonomy also acquired Neurodynamics.[7]

In May 2007, after exercising an option to buy a stake in technology start up Blinkx Inc, and combining it with its consumer division, Autonomy floated Blinkx on a valuation of $250m.[8]

In July 2007 it acquired Zantaz, an email archiving and litigation support company, for $375m.[9]

In October 2007 Autonomy acquired Meridio Holdings Ltd, a UK company based in Northern Ireland that specialised in Records Management software, for £20m.[10]

In January 2009 it acquired Interwoven, a niche provider of enterprise content management software, for $775m.[11] Interwoven became Autonomy Interwoven and Autonomy iManage.

In June 2010 the company announced that it was to acquire the Information Governance business of CA Technologies. Terms of the sale were not disclosed.[12]

On 5 May 2011 the Mercedes GP Formula One team announced an $8 million sponsorship deal with Autonomy, and on 8 July 2010 Tottenham Hotspur FC announced a two year sponsorship deal with Autonomy for their Premier League kit.[13][14] For the 2011-12 season Spurs' Premier League shirt will feature Autonomy's Augmented Reality technology Aurasma.[15]

 

An Extended Dot CON tear-jerker.

I knew some of these people.

Huge scam. Everyone knew what was/is involved. No way a company like HP did not have the smarts to do enough due diligence.

Disgusting. This is because the IT space is filled and "managed" by the same secret-handshaking Masonic brotherhood that every other so called enterprise is peopled with at the top.

ori

Tue, 11/20/2012 - 09:14 | 2998345 kridkrid
kridkrid's picture

Sociopaths. The upper echelon of every corporation, government agency, academic institution and political party; our elected officials and the lobbyists who write their legislation, a vast majority of all of these people are sociopaths. It's a self selecting set of personality traits that allow these people to rise to their position.

Tue, 11/20/2012 - 09:43 | 2998400 Oh regional Indian
Oh regional Indian's picture

Spot on krid. It (sociopathy) is a much desired trait in modern day management.

Al by design. All going down.

ori

Tue, 11/20/2012 - 09:56 | 2998438 kridkrid
kridkrid's picture

I go back and forth on the "by design" piece, but I suppose it doesn't really matter. I like having this conversation with the uninitiated because it's something people can get their arms around. Trying to explain debt money and the exponential function is a bit more challenging.

Tue, 11/20/2012 - 10:33 | 2998546 NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture

When the world relies on sources of 'capital' that have no scarcity, this is the only result possible. CB designed, bankster aligned.

Crime pays.

 

 

Tue, 11/20/2012 - 11:20 | 2998715 Bananamerican
Bananamerican's picture

"It's a self selecting set of personality traits that allow these people to rise to their position."

yup. I call 'em "the sharp elbows crowd"

Tue, 11/20/2012 - 11:31 | 2998758 Buckaroo Banzai
Buckaroo Banzai's picture

Sociopathic personalities with marginal business management skills are drawn to large bureaucratic organizations because it is easy not just to hide in them, but thrive in them. Translating an individual's performance into actual bottom-line results is almost impossible; therefore, politics is the functional skill set that is rewarded. Politics, as we know, is an exercise in pure sociopathology.

Tue, 11/20/2012 - 09:29 | 2998379 reload
reload's picture

Intersting timeline: No doubt Mike Lynch is a very capable and savvy software guy - but I never understood for one second how the business could a) gernerate its claimed revenues b) gain such lofty valuation. All too easy with hindsight - good old accounting fraud.

I wait with baited breath for ciminal prosecutions.....silly me.

Should be a lawyer fest though, HP will surely sue Autonomys directors and Auditors. Wonder what the UK gov will do if the USA seeks extradition of Mike Lynch &  Sushovan Hussain (CFO) - hand them over without  hesitation....thats what normaly happens when uncle Sam says jump, the UK says `how high`?

If I was in line to be accused of wrongdoing I would be very worried - how tempting it will be for the US to make a big scapegoat of a foreign company and its direcors / auditors. Perhaps they got it covered with some prescient campaign `contributions` though. 

Tue, 11/20/2012 - 09:46 | 2998409 Oh regional Indian
Oh regional Indian's picture

"luckily" for the UK-ites, they have the case of the kid who broke into DARPA/USMIL Space command server to fall back upon (Gary McKinnon).

And it's not about smarts. The trouble is that they specifcally choose smart sociopaths.

ori

Tue, 11/20/2012 - 10:00 | 2998450 reload
reload's picture

yes, and who in their right mind would argue that Gary McKinnon should have faced extradition. He is still behind bars though....which serves no useful purpose.

A quick google for Mike Lynch does bring up photos of him rubbing shoulders with grinning UK politicians of every stripe though.

Also a very public spat with Larry Ellison of Oracle who has quite publicly called and proved him to be a lier. Ellison must be in a spectacularly good mood this morning!

Tue, 11/20/2012 - 10:30 | 2998541 post turtle saver
post turtle saver's picture

Larry's face must be cracked from perpetual grinning laughter after seeing this announced. Maybe Oracle will buy HP for pennies on the dollar like they did Sun. At this rate that day won't be long in coming.

Tue, 11/20/2012 - 10:05 | 2998465 kridkrid
kridkrid's picture

There was an article about wall street specifically recruiting for these traits. But it's not quite so transparent. What they do is they identify their most successful traders. Of course the most "successful" traders likely lie, steal and cheat, but on paper, they are killing it. The will then profile these traders, quite scientifically. Hundreds and hundreds of questions... Think the old school Myers Briggs, but on steroids and HGH. The create the composite "type" and recruit to it. It's all very cold and clinical... And very real. And it works.

Tue, 11/20/2012 - 10:08 | 2998472 Oh regional Indian
Oh regional Indian's picture

Highly, highly Recommended: All the parts.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0rXkntu5qTU&feature=relmfu

ori

Tue, 11/20/2012 - 16:10 | 2999705 Cathartes Aura
Cathartes Aura's picture

"and it works"

indeed, it works, is admired, is emulated, and over time, there's your "culture" in action. . .

smart posts here.

Tue, 11/20/2012 - 10:23 | 2998521 realitybiter
realitybiter's picture

Cui Bono?

Sounds like a corporate buddy deal.

 

Remember Cisco's purchase of nearly "zero sales" Andiamo?  Total insider job to enrich Cisco employees that had walked across the hall, put out a sign and declared themselves a start-up.  It was a joke.  Rumor was that all the "ex-Crescendo" switch guys were still steamed that they had worked at Cisco for years and never got the crazy payday that the Cerent guys got when they divied up $7 billion.....so they said, "hey- what if we say we are a start-up, do what we would have done anyway, create a new product, and then screw the shareholders and make them pay twice for us - once to do our job, and again to purchase what they already own for a stupid price?."

There was not one journalist who touched this theft.  How this is legal is beyond me.  Cisco shareholders are idiots for remaining quiet and have been punished as the stock has virtually flat-lined since then.  Oh, but those hundred or so insiders are giddy, divvying up their 2.5 billion.  Even the management of Cisco carved off some equity for themselves in that transaction.  WTFU people.  Corporate America treats shareholders like the silent idiots that they typically are.

 

This HP deal reaks of a similar outcome...only not an insider job....just between friends.

Cui Bono.

Remember Buffet's guy buying stock in the company they were going to acquire?  Oh, just a mistake....

 

My Grandad was born in 1900.  After witnessing the financial raping of shareholders in the 30's, he never bought another share of stock ever.....he died rich, too.  Had his own business, put all profits into his own business and anything else was invested in bank CD's.  He told me in the 80's that the stock market was a scam.

 

We will see that attitude within the next few years.  It is one big cycle...

Tue, 11/20/2012 - 10:35 | 2998564 post turtle saver
post turtle saver's picture

Your Granddad rode upon interest rates in the 70's that payed out at anywhere from 10-15% percent depending on the time. Mine did the same in addition to buying low and selling high on farmland during the same time. I should know, because I did the same thing. It got me through seven years of college and two degrees with no debt at the end and money left over. Of course this was back when your money actually had a chance to work for you if you worked hard and saved. Not so much today.

Tue, 11/20/2012 - 11:11 | 2998691 realitybiter
realitybiter's picture

I'm getting about 4% rent on my farmland.  Zero operational cost.  Virtually no taxes and I get some very good game hunting on it.  Not a bad deal.  And it can't be rehypothecated, bitchez.

Tue, 11/20/2012 - 12:36 | 2998998 post turtle saver
post turtle saver's picture

My folks get that plus proceeds from harvest. When the zombie apocalypse comes they'll have seed and good dirt, a man's gotta eat no matter what.

Tue, 11/20/2012 - 10:58 | 2998653 Gimp
Gimp's picture

Biter - this is a common tactic in Silicon Valley and has been going on for years

Executives at an established company get buddies to start  a "new" and "innovative"  start-up that tweaks an existing technology.

 Big brother company puts in $10M in funding, three years later they buy the start-up for $300 M with borrowed money or their companies excess cash. 

Everyone gets rich and paid-off.  BTW - the new innovative technology rarely amounts to revenue - just a big scam.  (I am looking for investors)

Rinse-repeat-recycle.

Only in America. Got to love it.

 

 

Tue, 11/20/2012 - 11:09 | 2998683 realitybiter
realitybiter's picture

I know.   I was just hopeful that the Cisco example would shine a light for the sheeple.  The literally never even left the building.  At least in other examples there is a chance for competitive bidding or even, gasp, failure.  I got the blinders ripped off my face in the 80's in silicon valley, so I've "been around."  It just makes you sick when you see 'tards succedd and all they have done is manipulate.

Tue, 11/20/2012 - 09:09 | 2998331 MFLTucson
MFLTucson's picture

Why is it ok for the banks to falsify their earnings and not HP?

Tue, 11/20/2012 - 09:44 | 2998403 Cloud9.5
Cloud9.5's picture

It is good to know that all those former employees of Aurthur Anderson found work after Enron imploded.

Tue, 11/20/2012 - 09:23 | 2998332 fonzannoon
fonzannoon's picture

Who was the accounting firm that missed this?

I green arrowed myself because Tyler answered my question in the next column :P

Tue, 11/20/2012 - 09:10 | 2998335 miker
miker's picture

Corporate boards are a criminal joke.  These outfits get all the benefits and power, dump on the average guy and walk away with millions and no accountability.  I hope they have all arranged a nice getaway out of the country and a private way to get there.

Tue, 11/20/2012 - 09:10 | 2998337 slackrabbit
slackrabbit's picture

Another reason to buy by Dell...

Tue, 11/20/2012 - 09:11 | 2998339 tawse57
tawse57's picture

Do you mean 'buy' Dell or do you mean 'bye bye' Dell?

Tue, 11/20/2012 - 09:19 | 2998352 kridkrid
kridkrid's picture

Because Dell is clean? I used to think that fraud was more of the exception, not the rule. Silly me. I buy stuff that I need, some stuff that I don't, but have no brand allegiance because I assume that every corporation is corrupt. By local, when possible, from people you know.

Tue, 11/20/2012 - 09:48 | 2998413 slackrabbit
slackrabbit's picture

;-)

Tue, 11/20/2012 - 10:38 | 2998582 post turtle saver
post turtle saver's picture

Dell is a bigger scam than HP. They're a bank masquerading as a PC vendor.

Tue, 11/20/2012 - 09:17 | 2998347 I am a Man I am...
I am a Man I am Forty's picture

I can't believe Seth Klarman owned this hunk of shit, he's smarter than that.

Tue, 11/20/2012 - 09:18 | 2998348 Quinvarius
Quinvarius's picture

Woman CEOs often seem to get handed a collapse in progress.  When I see a fallgirl coming, I don't hang around.

Tue, 11/20/2012 - 11:39 | 2998775 Buckaroo Banzai
Buckaroo Banzai's picture

Yeah, and the funny thing is, this has happened not once but twice at HP.

Tue, 11/20/2012 - 09:21 | 2998357 chrispycrunch
chrispycrunch's picture

I am a big fan of Seth Klarman - his record matches (or is better than) that of Warran Buffett. In a recent video, Klarman said he's not as hands on. Did some junior staff pitch HP?

Tue, 11/20/2012 - 09:21 | 2998359 q99x2
q99x2's picture

Since when is fraud a crime? Somebody stop the regulators before they implode the economy.

Tue, 11/20/2012 - 10:44 | 2998602 blunderdog
blunderdog's picture

Ya can't prosecute fraud for the same reason you can't tax the top 0.0001% of income earners.

It would be class warfare.

Tue, 11/20/2012 - 09:23 | 2998367 spanish inquisition
spanish inquisition's picture

Q. How bad are things at HP?

A. They are going back in time to find the smartest person they know for help. Carly Fiorina.

Tue, 11/20/2012 - 09:23 | 2998368 Pampalona
Pampalona's picture

Their Laptops are total shite - never buying HP ever again.

Tue, 11/20/2012 - 09:32 | 2998387 Ima anal sphincter
Ima anal sphincter's picture

I made that decision after the Compaq deal. The top got $$$$ - the bottom got screwed.

No HP for me!!

Tue, 11/20/2012 - 09:23 | 2998369 Flakmeister
Flakmeister's picture

Notch up another one for the job creators, but you can take the concept of creative destruction only so far....

 

Tue, 11/20/2012 - 09:30 | 2998380 timbo_em
timbo_em's picture

LOL, Financial Times Deutschland reports that the stock is down 10 percent plus because they missed their revenue targets. Nothing about that dark hole they discovered.

Tue, 11/20/2012 - 09:31 | 2998383 The Continental
The Continental's picture

Hm, let's see Apotheker, Madoff, Corzine, Milken and on and on. What do these greedy unscrupulous corporate thieves have in common?

Tue, 11/20/2012 - 09:51 | 2998427 Who is John Galt
Who is John Galt's picture

Could it be that they are FUCKING JEWS?

Tue, 11/20/2012 - 09:57 | 2998437 Id fight Gandhi
Id fight Gandhi's picture

Yep. Figures.

Tue, 11/20/2012 - 10:18 | 2998510 Flakmeister
Flakmeister's picture

No, they signed up for the "Greed is good" program...

Take your bigotry elsewhere, preferably to your gulch where you will not be missed...

Tue, 11/20/2012 - 10:25 | 2998527 Who is John Galt
Who is John Galt's picture

^^^Jew^^^

Tue, 11/20/2012 - 10:33 | 2998554 fuu
fuu's picture

^^^MORAN^^^

Tue, 11/20/2012 - 10:35 | 2998567 Who is John Galt
Who is John Galt's picture

^^^Another Jew^^^

Tue, 11/20/2012 - 10:37 | 2998570 fuu
fuu's picture

Well right now we are winning so suck it you ineffective goy.

Tue, 11/20/2012 - 10:44 | 2998608 blunderdog
blunderdog's picture

He's not really an antisemite, he's just jealous of their success.  Heh.

Tue, 11/20/2012 - 10:51 | 2998634 fuu
fuu's picture

It happens.

Tue, 11/20/2012 - 10:45 | 2998609 Who is John Galt
Who is John Galt's picture

You don't know where I have been Lou!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1XGAxc4EGi4

You don't know where I have been...

Tue, 11/20/2012 - 11:03 | 2998667 fuu
fuu's picture

Lou was a pussy.

Tue, 11/20/2012 - 10:52 | 2998637 Flakmeister
Flakmeister's picture

Hee, hee, hee.... Accusing someone having my avatar of being a Jew...

You are truly an ignorant fool....

Did you only show up at the Hedge when your latest issue of Aryan Nation got lost in the mail?

Tue, 11/20/2012 - 10:26 | 2998533 fuu
fuu's picture

They are greedy unscrupulous corporate thieves?

Tue, 11/20/2012 - 09:34 | 2998392 Id fight Gandhi
Id fight Gandhi's picture

It's gotta be nice to be a chosen member of the tribe. He's probably still counting his severance loot.

Tue, 11/20/2012 - 09:37 | 2998393 Muppet
Muppet's picture

HP products & services: Over-packaged, Over-bundled, Overly-complex.....

200mb print drivers that corrupt any other installed HP printers,

Scanner software so fragile it might work... once.

Driver upgrades we've learned never to trust.

All indicative of an UNDISCIPLINED company. 

Tue, 11/20/2012 - 10:04 | 2998461 StychoKiller
StychoKiller's picture

Hmm, that Company would be Microsoft...

Tue, 11/20/2012 - 11:24 | 2998734 Roger Knights
Roger Knights's picture

I once ordered a CD disk from HP. It arrived in a box a cubic foot in size and packed with bubble wrap. What the hell?

Tue, 11/20/2012 - 09:39 | 2998395 Seasmoke
Seasmoke's picture

Once again put your company logo on a premier jersey and the fraud is not far from being found out. It truly is the worlds greatest indicator.

Tue, 11/20/2012 - 11:43 | 2998790 Buckaroo Banzai
Buckaroo Banzai's picture

That, or buying naming rights to a pro sports stadium. Really an almost foolproof way of making money on the short side.

Tue, 11/20/2012 - 09:46 | 2998410 Bullionaire
Bullionaire's picture

"...former CEO Leo Apotheker, whose executive decisions and lack of diligence have left the company in a state of complete disaster. What was Leo's punishment for his brief tenure on top of HPQ and swath of absolute value destruction? $25,000,000 in all in comp."

 

Can we officially name this particular scam "RE-APOTHEKATION?"

Tue, 11/20/2012 - 09:49 | 2998419 Id fight Gandhi
Id fight Gandhi's picture

His plan from the start was to loot and gut the company. They make business machines and hardware. All of a sudden they want to be a cloud based software company?

Fucking assholes.

Tue, 11/20/2012 - 09:50 | 2998418 ziggy59
ziggy59's picture

HP = Half Price

Tue, 11/20/2012 - 10:01 | 2998441 Miss Expectations
Miss Expectations's picture

$25,000,000 comp

My chicken shit interest income looks chicken shittier every day.

Tue, 11/20/2012 - 10:00 | 2998451 UGrev
UGrev's picture

Hory Phuck

Tue, 11/20/2012 - 10:07 | 2998469 azzhatter
azzhatter's picture

I thought Fraud was an accepted business practice today. The banksters wouldn't exist without it

Tue, 11/20/2012 - 10:08 | 2998470 overhere2000
overhere2000's picture

Let the buyer beware. 

Tue, 11/20/2012 - 10:12 | 2998486 ziggy59
ziggy59's picture

Whatever the frig happened to prosecuting FRAUD? Joe Blow 6 Pack signs a credit card application stating hes in the 6 Digit club, goes buy buy with his new Credit Card backed by bingo bux, then found out hes Average Joe with a 1 Pack in the 5 Digit Club. Now goes Bye Bye for 6-12 months for Fraud. These POS CEOs commit Grand Theft Global and they keep their stealings and comps???

Tue, 11/20/2012 - 10:24 | 2998516 Aurora Ex Machina
Tue, 11/20/2012 - 10:46 | 2998615 Joe Davola
Joe Davola's picture

Don't Big Bro me!

Tue, 11/20/2012 - 10:26 | 2998531 SamAdams
SamAdams's picture

HPQ was fool enough to assign an Ashkenazi Jew as their CEO and now is on the verge of becoming a triangle company of the international bankers.  Leo was sent in to take it down, and a fine job he did!  Rewarded well for his efforts! 

Employees of HPQ, look out... It will be more than layoffs.  Expect a change to a fascist culture (you must provide 2 forms of ID for all members included on your health plan that your company administers itself, but at a higher rate than outside plans)...

Tue, 11/20/2012 - 10:39 | 2998585 Who is John Galt
Who is John Galt's picture
Seinfeld Uncle Leo - the watch

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WayXlru5gJk

Tue, 11/20/2012 - 10:50 | 2998633 Joe Davola
Joe Davola's picture

I had to show photo ID to get a colonscopy, but not to vote.  I know it was a test, but it's not like it was the SAT!

Tue, 11/20/2012 - 10:44 | 2998604 williambanzai7
williambanzai7's picture

Due diligence, WTF is that?

Tue, 11/20/2012 - 10:44 | 2998605 Kantbelieveit
Kantbelieveit's picture

Remember, the government is the enemy. The great corporations are pure defenders of the holy marketplace. Surely we can trust AAPL, HP, and IBM to feed the poor, clean up the environment, and enforce fair labor standards. We know that profit maximization leads to the greatest good for the smallest number, so why shouldn't our society flourish with government drowned in the bath tub and the corporations given free reign. What Enron did should be a goal for all corporations, not a crime. Let the winners rule!

Tue, 11/20/2012 - 10:45 | 2998612 blunderdog
blunderdog's picture

We'd never have the great products HP has brought to market if there weren't a little fraud here and there.  And look at all the jobs they've created!

Tue, 11/20/2012 - 11:46 | 2998795 Buckaroo Banzai
Buckaroo Banzai's picture

Hey moron. The government, the banks, and the giant multinational corporations are all exactly the same thing: giant, unaccountable bureaucracies run by sociopaths. Take your stupid game someplace else.

Tue, 11/20/2012 - 12:25 | 2998950 SillySalesmanQu...
SillySalesmanQuestion's picture

Must not over tax job creators.

Must over pay executives and CEO's for runinng companies into ground.

Must inflate shares of stock by bad accounting.

Must sell all stock before shareholders and employees find out.

Must not forget golden parachute to put final nail in coffin of company.

Tue, 11/20/2012 - 18:12 | 3000106 Bazza McKenzie
Bazza McKenzie's picture

Actually large companies are job eliminators.  The data is well established.  The job creators are in small business and they are over taxed.  Most of the time their businesses fail and they lose money without government recompense.  If, at some stage, they succeed and start making a reasonable return for their risk and investment, the government wants a large swag of it and Obama wants even more.  Goodbye to job creators.

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