Stocks Slump As Bernanke Admits "Doesn't Have Tools To Ease Fiscal Cliff"

Tyler Durden's picture

For the third time in a row, a speaker from the Fed has opened their mouth and the market has fallen in. This time, unlike Yellen's silliness, Bernanke admitted a few ugly truths by removing hopes for an IOER cut and bluntly explaining that the Fed 'will not go back to work' to help Schumer and his fiscal cliff buddies:


S&P futures fell around 8 points as he uttered these words but was rescued by some anxious BIS scrambling in EURUSD, before falling back to reality (along with AAPL).


S&P 500 futures...


Leaving S&P 500 futures at yesterday's day-session open...


and AAPL at yestereday's VWAP now...

Charts: Bloomberg

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Neethgie's picture

It would be far better if bernanke had have broken down, citing the existential crisis he feels daily and the bleakness of rapidly approaching mortality... how surreal would that be?

we would easy hit new highs..

walküre's picture

step 1

admit that you need help (Bernanke: "I just can't do it anymore")

vast-dom's picture

Step 1: Admit that you are POWERLESS over the markets / your printing addiction. That you life / nation has become UNMANAGEABLE.


Fed = Disease in Action

walküre's picture

Step 2: Something greater than myself has the POWER to restore the markets

economics9698's picture

The pos has all the cows in the slaughtering bin and is getting ready to process them.

vast-dom's picture

HP = natural order of things which have been centrally perverted. homeostasis will be achieved. 

TruthInSunshine's picture

Marc Faber keeps a picture of Bernanke in his toilet.

Now, I don't know how that relates to anything other than the fact that this is probably the best place for anyone to keep a picture of The Bernank, but I just wanted to share that with everyone:

Marc Faber: "I Keep a Picture of Mr. Bernanke in My Toilet."
Michaelwiseguy's picture

Re-Upload America and Restore the Original USA Constitution.

stu11's picture

why you wiseguy... Demographics rule going forward.  That paper is gone.  There is a new sheriff in town and he is giving out all kinds of cool free shit!

Bicycle Repairman's picture

Did I miss something?  When did Jean Paul Sartre take over the FED?  Just shut up and print.  It's the only reason they keep your sorry ass around.

vast-dom's picture

Well living in Bad Faith as per Sartre's definition is something that Bernank certainly has been doing exclusively. He has limited himself with the label Fed Chairman which in turn limits his freedoms such that he can ONLY PRINT. It followes a la Sartre that a man with infinite freedoms has objectified himself into a singular existence of that of fiat printer and as such he is no longer a man (with freedoms) nor is he capable of empathizing nor putting himself in anyone else's shoes since his objectification of himself is total; Bernank is nothing more or less than Fed Chairman. And as Sartre knew all too well, you can't ever fill the gaping hole of nothingness inside yourself with unlimted fiat, or any other (no)thing. So it truly is an existential quagmire that is now plaguing us all and the reason why anything centrally planned or banked is ultimately so dangerous: one man's existential crisis more at limitation of being can make the entire collective consciousness existentially objectified into total slavery. 

Bicycle Repairman's picture

Then they've chosen the right guy.  For their purposes.

TruthInSunshine's picture

Jean Paul Sartre?  Awesome!

You're saying The Bernank is Descartes!!


"I print therefore I am."

vast-dom's picture

Actually, Sartre always disagreed with Descartes' cogito. To Sartre it was I am, Therefore I Think. 


So for Bernank he is as function of his role as printer. Put another way, if one were to strip Bernank of his printing powers he would cease to exist (as the limited objectified person that he is defining himself as, unable to free himself from his printing which is what he defines his is-ness or more apropriately thing-ness by.)

My niggas we are all fucked by the Being and Nothingness of TeH FeD as objectified by its chairman!

TruthInSunshine's picture

Bernank, don't go existentialist now!!!

disabledvet's picture

you mean "make Zero Hedge admit "i am Ben Bernanke and Market God"...then proceed to blab some more and "see what happens."

MachoMan's picture

Is this an admission by the FED (and thus, its beneficiaries) that they expect us to go over the cliff?  [or is it simply meant to bolster ambiguity?]

HungryPorkChop's picture

I suggest you ask Wile E. Coyote and Road Runner about that cliff.  Usually its a long ways down before you hit bottom.

Chuck Walla's picture

I suggest you ask Wile E. Coyote and Road Runner about that cliff.  Usually its a long ways down before you hit bottom.

Its not the fall that kills, its the sudden stop.


XitSam's picture

But I thought he was all about building confidence. That when Americans felt they were wealthier (because their stocks went up or their home price went up), they would go out and consume.  Gotta get the flow flowing.

MachoMan's picture

At the end of the day, everyone knows the FED never had any methods to defeat what ails us...  the FED instead does the only thing it can, attempt to manage perception.  The problem though is that it has to manage both perception (in an effort to build confidence), while at the same time maintaining an ambiguous stance, so that everyone doesn't pig pile the trade.  The act of managing perception then is completely subservient to the necessity of ambiguity...  every once and a while, they have to compete for the same real estate.

Silver Bug's picture

The FED is out of bullets, all they can do is print more money.

earnyermoney's picture

You sure about that? I heard they bought some hollow point rounds.

walküre's picture

ECB, BOJ, FED, BOE, PBC, BOC and so on are all out of bullets. The writing has been on the walls for years now.

Either they engage in a massive globally coordinated PRINTFEST or we are all going down the drain collectively.

Wrapping Greece's problems in a star spangled banner and you've got "fiscal cliff".

Mr Lennon Hendrix's picture

They don't stop printing.  The question is how much they are printing, and if rates are low, they are printing a lot.

Just because Bernanke talks the market down does not mean he isn't inflating fiat away.

cranky-old-geezer's picture



The FED is out of bullets, all they can do is print more money.

Yes, what they've been doing all along, and that "bazooka" ain't near done, Bennie can keep printing till the damn currency collapses ...what he apparently plans to do.

There's no "fiscal cliff" up ahead, not when Bennie will print and print and print all the currency the govt wants.  $20 trillion debt? No problem.  $30 trillion debt?  No problem.  It's just numbers in a computer, keeping score, that's all.

Might as well give Timmy what he wants, remove the debt ceiling, it doesn't matter anyway.  I think they should borrow $5 trillion a year, get on with it, collapse that damn currency, I'm tired of this long drawn out farce.

Jungle Jim's picture

I too am tired (sick to death, really) of this long, drawn-out farce. Enough already!

SheepDog-One's picture mean people actually believed Bernank would fix the fiscal cliff? What kind of insane asylum world am I living in??

Bam_Man's picture

Or as Roubini would say, "Theee Fed is out of policy boooolets".

machineh's picture

'You toucha mah T-beeels, I breaka you face!'

Quinvarius's picture

Thank god he didn't bring up all the Treasuries he is about to buy in QE4.  Don't want to encourage those ratfinks in congress.

DavidC's picture

So, let's see. Obama get re-elected, market dumps, Yellen opens mouth market dumps, Bernanke opens mouth, market dumps.

Seems to be a trend developing, certainly in the opening mouth department...


Quinvarius's picture

They are trying to put out deflationary expectations because they are about to print a shitload of money..again.  There is nothing but hyperinflation coming...maybe hyperstagflation.  Whatever it is, it is going to invole a whole lot of money and a whole lot of lies.

machineh's picture


But Bernanke may soon gain the tools to read the email of his critics. Dig:

The list of agencies that would receive civil subpoena authority for the contents of electronic communications also includes the Federal Reserve ...

Beyond UFB ...

earnyermoney's picture

No need for a tool. Just sent him email via his address at the FED.

CrashisOptimistic's picture

This doesn't look right as causation.

I'm wondering if a leak came out of the Fin Min mtg and Greece is not going to get money.

Frank N. Beans's picture

it's not what the Bernanke said, it's that he finished talking that killed the market. 

buzzsaw99's picture

Where in the hell is Beeks?

BlackholeDivestment's picture

...nnnnnaked shorts and mmmmmuppets

             Middle East ashes 

                   Mr. Robinson's neighborhood

                            we all fall down 


walküre's picture

"slaugtherer" is frantically unloading his longs this morning

catacl1sm's picture

'Oh, happy days!'

Bay of Pigs's picture


Kreditanstalt's picture

Bay from Mish?  It's tax haven...!


Mr Lennon Hendrix's picture

Bay the Golden Gawd from planet Krypton.

Bay of Pigs's picture

It is I Tax....good to see you pal. 

Kreditanstalt's picture

Cue to DO THE PAVLOV: SELL "risky" precous metals and BUY "safe" government bonds!!!   


Winston Churchill's picture

Just say "thank you" politely ,and mutter under your breath what you really think.

Last chance to buy at this price,don't knock it.


Chupacabra-322's picture


Really?  No shit Sherlock.  Perhaps it's because of all this imaginary debt produced by the Banksters?  The world doesn't owe you not one square dime.  When the time comes, and it's coming.  You'll be lucky to escape with your life.  I doubt that.

Mr Lennon Hendrix's picture

Bernanke says these things while he buys $40B worth of MBS and $45B worth of USTs every month and you day traders think he is not getting his boots wet?

Do you day traders know what banks do to their assets? They leverage them.  That is what they do.  That is how they make money.

So after the Fed buys all of this toxic debt they fractionally reserve their assets and lower the value of the dollar. 

Economics 101 class dismissed.