Stocks Slump As Bernanke Admits "Doesn't Have Tools To Ease Fiscal Cliff"

Tyler Durden's picture




 

For the third time in a row, a speaker from the Fed has opened their mouth and the market has fallen in. This time, unlike Yellen's silliness, Bernanke admitted a few ugly truths by removing hopes for an IOER cut and bluntly explaining that the Fed 'will not go back to work' to help Schumer and his fiscal cliff buddies:

  • *BERNANKE SAYS FED ABILITY TO OFFSET HEADWINDS `NOT INFINITE'
  • *BERNANKE SAYS FED DOESN'T HAVE TOOLS TO PREVENT GOING OFF CLIFF
  • *BERNANKE SAYS HIS FISCAL ADVICE IS `DO NO HARM'
  • *BERNANKE: WRONG TO THINK INTEREST ON EXCESS RESERVES MAJOR TOOL

S&P futures fell around 8 points as he uttered these words but was rescued by some anxious BIS scrambling in EURUSD, before falling back to reality (along with AAPL).

 

S&P 500 futures...

 

Leaving S&P 500 futures at yesterday's day-session open...

 

and AAPL at yestereday's VWAP now...

Charts: Bloomberg

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Tue, 11/20/2012 - 14:30 | 2999373 Neethgie
Neethgie's picture

It would be far better if bernanke had have broken down, citing the existential crisis he feels daily and the bleakness of rapidly approaching mortality... how surreal would that be?

we would easy hit new highs..

Tue, 11/20/2012 - 14:37 | 2999399 walküre
walküre's picture

step 1

admit that you need help (Bernanke: "I just can't do it anymore")

Tue, 11/20/2012 - 14:41 | 2999416 vast-dom
vast-dom's picture

Step 1: Admit that you are POWERLESS over the markets / your printing addiction. That you life / nation has become UNMANAGEABLE.

 

Fed = Disease in Action

Tue, 11/20/2012 - 14:44 | 2999428 walküre
walküre's picture

Step 2: Something greater than myself has the POWER to restore the markets

Tue, 11/20/2012 - 15:00 | 2999480 economics9698
economics9698's picture

The pos has all the cows in the slaughtering bin and is getting ready to process them.

Tue, 11/20/2012 - 15:35 | 2999587 vast-dom
vast-dom's picture

HP = natural order of things which have been centrally perverted. homeostasis will be achieved. 

Tue, 11/20/2012 - 16:04 | 2999685 TruthInSunshine
TruthInSunshine's picture

Marc Faber keeps a picture of Bernanke in his toilet.

Now, I don't know how that relates to anything other than the fact that this is probably the best place for anyone to keep a picture of The Bernank, but I just wanted to share that with everyone:

Marc Faber: "I Keep a Picture of Mr. Bernanke in My Toilet."
Tue, 11/20/2012 - 16:13 | 2999718 Michaelwiseguy
Michaelwiseguy's picture

Re-Upload America and Restore the Original USA Constitution.

Tue, 11/20/2012 - 18:29 | 3000164 stu11
stu11's picture

why you wiseguy... Demographics rule going forward.  That paper is gone.  There is a new sheriff in town and he is giving out all kinds of cool free shit!

Tue, 11/20/2012 - 15:48 | 2999630 Bicycle Repairman
Bicycle Repairman's picture

Did I miss something?  When did Jean Paul Sartre take over the FED?  Just shut up and print.  It's the only reason they keep your sorry ass around.

Tue, 11/20/2012 - 16:07 | 2999667 vast-dom
vast-dom's picture

Well living in Bad Faith as per Sartre's definition is something that Bernank certainly has been doing exclusively. He has limited himself with the label Fed Chairman which in turn limits his freedoms such that he can ONLY PRINT. It followes a la Sartre that a man with infinite freedoms has objectified himself into a singular existence of that of fiat printer and as such he is no longer a man (with freedoms) nor is he capable of empathizing nor putting himself in anyone else's shoes since his objectification of himself is total; Bernank is nothing more or less than Fed Chairman. And as Sartre knew all too well, you can't ever fill the gaping hole of nothingness inside yourself with unlimted fiat, or any other (no)thing. So it truly is an existential quagmire that is now plaguing us all and the reason why anything centrally planned or banked is ultimately so dangerous: one man's existential crisis more at limitation of being can make the entire collective consciousness existentially objectified into total slavery. 

Tue, 11/20/2012 - 16:51 | 2999866 Bicycle Repairman
Bicycle Repairman's picture

Then they've chosen the right guy.  For their purposes.

Tue, 11/20/2012 - 16:55 | 2999879 TruthInSunshine
TruthInSunshine's picture

Jean Paul Sartre?  Awesome!

You're saying The Bernank is Descartes!!

 

"I print therefore I am."

Tue, 11/20/2012 - 17:14 | 2999916 vast-dom
vast-dom's picture

Actually, Sartre always disagreed with Descartes' cogito. To Sartre it was I am, Therefore I Think. 

 

So for Bernank he is as function of his role as printer. Put another way, if one were to strip Bernank of his printing powers he would cease to exist (as the limited objectified person that he is defining himself as, unable to free himself from his printing which is what he defines his is-ness or more apropriately thing-ness by.)

My niggas we are all fucked by the Being and Nothingness of TeH FeD as objectified by its chairman!

Tue, 11/20/2012 - 17:54 | 3000053 TruthInSunshine
TruthInSunshine's picture

Bernank, don't go existentialist now!!!

Tue, 11/20/2012 - 16:24 | 2999766 disabledvet
disabledvet's picture

you mean "make Zero Hedge admit "i am Ben Bernanke and Market God"...then proceed to blab some more and "see what happens."

Tue, 11/20/2012 - 14:37 | 2999402 MachoMan
MachoMan's picture

Is this an admission by the FED (and thus, its beneficiaries) that they expect us to go over the cliff?  [or is it simply meant to bolster ambiguity?]

Tue, 11/20/2012 - 14:51 | 2999447 HungryPorkChop
HungryPorkChop's picture

I suggest you ask Wile E. Coyote and Road Runner about that cliff.  Usually its a long ways down before you hit bottom.

Tue, 11/20/2012 - 16:35 | 2999813 Chuck Walla
Chuck Walla's picture

I suggest you ask Wile E. Coyote and Road Runner about that cliff.  Usually its a long ways down before you hit bottom.

Its not the fall that kills, its the sudden stop.

FORWARD SOVIET ever ONWARD TO NIRVANA!

Tue, 11/20/2012 - 15:14 | 2999512 XitSam
XitSam's picture

But I thought he was all about building confidence. That when Americans felt they were wealthier (because their stocks went up or their home price went up), they would go out and consume.  Gotta get the flow flowing.

Tue, 11/20/2012 - 16:16 | 2999727 MachoMan
MachoMan's picture

At the end of the day, everyone knows the FED never had any methods to defeat what ails us...  the FED instead does the only thing it can, attempt to manage perception.  The problem though is that it has to manage both perception (in an effort to build confidence), while at the same time maintaining an ambiguous stance, so that everyone doesn't pig pile the trade.  The act of managing perception then is completely subservient to the necessity of ambiguity...  every once and a while, they have to compete for the same real estate.

Tue, 11/20/2012 - 14:42 | 2999424 Silver Bug
Silver Bug's picture

The FED is out of bullets, all they can do is print more money.

 

http://ericsprott.blogspot.ca/

Tue, 11/20/2012 - 14:53 | 2999455 earnyermoney
earnyermoney's picture

You sure about that? I heard they bought some hollow point rounds.

Tue, 11/20/2012 - 14:56 | 2999471 walküre
walküre's picture

ECB, BOJ, FED, BOE, PBC, BOC and so on are all out of bullets. The writing has been on the walls for years now.

Either they engage in a massive globally coordinated PRINTFEST or we are all going down the drain collectively.

Wrapping Greece's problems in a star spangled banner and you've got "fiscal cliff".

Tue, 11/20/2012 - 15:03 | 2999490 Mr Lennon Hendrix
Mr Lennon Hendrix's picture

They don't stop printing.  The question is how much they are printing, and if rates are low, they are printing a lot.

Just because Bernanke talks the market down does not mean he isn't inflating fiat away.

Tue, 11/20/2012 - 18:21 | 3000144 cranky-old-geezer
cranky-old-geezer's picture

 

 

The FED is out of bullets, all they can do is print more money.

Yes, what they've been doing all along, and that "bazooka" ain't near done, Bennie can keep printing till the damn currency collapses ...what he apparently plans to do.

There's no "fiscal cliff" up ahead, not when Bennie will print and print and print all the currency the govt wants.  $20 trillion debt? No problem.  $30 trillion debt?  No problem.  It's just numbers in a computer, keeping score, that's all.

Might as well give Timmy what he wants, remove the debt ceiling, it doesn't matter anyway.  I think they should borrow $5 trillion a year, get on with it, collapse that damn currency, I'm tired of this long drawn out farce.

Tue, 11/20/2012 - 21:15 | 3000618 Jungle Jim
Jungle Jim's picture

I too am tired (sick to death, really) of this long, drawn-out farce. Enough already!

Tue, 11/20/2012 - 15:34 | 2999584 SheepDog-One
SheepDog-One's picture

Wait....you mean people actually believed Bernank would fix the fiscal cliff? What kind of insane asylum world am I living in??

Tue, 11/20/2012 - 14:33 | 2999381 Bam_Man
Bam_Man's picture

Or as Roubini would say, "Theee Fed is out of policy boooolets".

Tue, 11/20/2012 - 14:38 | 2999405 machineh
machineh's picture

'You toucha mah T-beeels, I breaka you face!'

Tue, 11/20/2012 - 14:35 | 2999389 Quinvarius
Quinvarius's picture

Thank god he didn't bring up all the Treasuries he is about to buy in QE4.  Don't want to encourage those ratfinks in congress.

Tue, 11/20/2012 - 14:35 | 2999391 DavidC
DavidC's picture

So, let's see. Obama get re-elected, market dumps, Yellen opens mouth market dumps, Bernanke opens mouth, market dumps.

Seems to be a trend developing, certainly in the opening mouth department...

DavidC

Tue, 11/20/2012 - 14:38 | 2999403 walküre
walküre's picture

bearish jawboning

Tue, 11/20/2012 - 14:42 | 2999419 Quinvarius
Quinvarius's picture

They are trying to put out deflationary expectations because they are about to print a shitload of money..again.  There is nothing but hyperinflation coming...maybe hyperstagflation.  Whatever it is, it is going to invole a whole lot of money and a whole lot of lies.

Tue, 11/20/2012 - 14:36 | 2999395 machineh
machineh's picture

*BERNANKE SAYS FED DOESN'T HAVE TOOLS TO PREVENT GOING OFF CLIFF

But Bernanke may soon gain the tools to read the email of his critics. Dig:

The list of agencies that would receive civil subpoena authority for the contents of electronic communications also includes the Federal Reserve ...

http://news.cnet.com/8301-13578_3-57552225-38/senate-bill-rewrite-lets-feds-read-your-e-mail-without-warrants/?part=rss&subj=news&tag=title

Beyond UFB ...

Tue, 11/20/2012 - 14:51 | 2999446 earnyermoney
earnyermoney's picture

No need for a tool. Just sent him email via his address at the FED.

Tue, 11/20/2012 - 14:36 | 2999397 CrashisOptimistic
CrashisOptimistic's picture

This doesn't look right as causation.

I'm wondering if a leak came out of the Fin Min mtg and Greece is not going to get money.

Tue, 11/20/2012 - 14:37 | 2999398 Frank N. Beans
Frank N. Beans's picture

it's not what the Bernanke said, it's that he finished talking that killed the market. 

Tue, 11/20/2012 - 14:37 | 2999401 buzzsaw99
buzzsaw99's picture

Where in the hell is Beeks?

Tue, 11/20/2012 - 14:42 | 2999417 BlackholeDivestment
BlackholeDivestment's picture

...nnnnnaked shorts and mmmmmuppets

             Middle East ashes 

                   Mr. Robinson's neighborhood

                            we all fall down 

                              ...bitchez

Tue, 11/20/2012 - 14:42 | 2999418 walküre
walküre's picture

"slaugtherer" is frantically unloading his longs this morning

Tue, 11/20/2012 - 14:42 | 2999420 catacl1sm
catacl1sm's picture

'Oh, happy days!'

Tue, 11/20/2012 - 14:42 | 2999421 Bay of Pigs
Bay of Pigs's picture

We need MOAR TOOLS!

Tue, 11/20/2012 - 14:44 | 2999426 Kreditanstalt
Kreditanstalt's picture

Bay from Mish?  It's tax haven...!

 

Tue, 11/20/2012 - 14:52 | 2999449 Mr Lennon Hendrix
Mr Lennon Hendrix's picture

Bay the Golden Gawd from planet Krypton.

Tue, 11/20/2012 - 14:54 | 2999456 Bay of Pigs
Bay of Pigs's picture

It is I Tax....good to see you pal. 

Tue, 11/20/2012 - 14:43 | 2999423 Kreditanstalt
Kreditanstalt's picture

Cue to DO THE PAVLOV: SELL "risky" precous metals and BUY "safe" government bonds!!!   

Hahahahahahaha.....!!

Tue, 11/20/2012 - 14:55 | 2999464 Winston Churchill
Winston Churchill's picture

Just say "thank you" politely ,and mutter under your breath what you really think.

Last chance to buy at this price,don't knock it.

 

Tue, 11/20/2012 - 14:44 | 2999429 Chupacabra-322
Chupacabra-322's picture

"BERNANKE SAYS FED DOESN'T HAVE TOOLS TO PREVENT GOING OFF CLIFF"

Really?  No shit Sherlock.  Perhaps it's because of all this imaginary debt produced by the Banksters?  The world doesn't owe you not one square dime.  When the time comes, and it's coming.  You'll be lucky to escape with your life.  I doubt that.

Tue, 11/20/2012 - 14:49 | 2999441 Mr Lennon Hendrix
Mr Lennon Hendrix's picture

Bernanke says these things while he buys $40B worth of MBS and $45B worth of USTs every month and you day traders think he is not getting his boots wet?

Do you day traders know what banks do to their assets? They leverage them.  That is what they do.  That is how they make money.

So after the Fed buys all of this toxic debt they fractionally reserve their assets and lower the value of the dollar. 

Economics 101 class dismissed.

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