UBS Rogue Trader Gets 7 Year Sentence

Tyler Durden's picture

Remember Kweku Adoboli: the 32 year old rogue trader who was solely responsible for UBS' massive $2.3 billion trading loss, and cost the firm's then CEO his job?

  • ADOBOLI SENTENCED TO 7 YEARS IN PRISON BY LONDON JUDGE
  • JUDGE SAYS ADOBOLI MUST SERVE AT LEAST HALF OF HIS TERM

So the trade off: 3.5 years in exchange for several million in hush money. Where does one sign up?

But at least "justice is served." Another pawn thrown in the slammer as those who "redistribute" the billions in Fed flow each month continue to enjoy 3 martini lunches at Dorsia. In other news, while the Adoboli loss had no impact on UBS capital whatsoever, a far greater existential risk to the once legendary Swiss bank (which is now merely the owner of the largest trading floor paintball field for hire) is that Switzerland is no longer the world's tax haven, resulting to billions in deposits outflows from Switzerland and into Singapore. Too bad nobody can be sued over that.

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MillionDollarBonus_'s picture

REPEC's 50 best economists in the world: Highlights – Part 2

Coming in at number 37 is Professor Alan B. Krueger

Professor Krueger was appointed as chief economic advisor by President Barack H. Obama on November 7th 2011.

Professor Kruger is best known for his ground breaking paper demonstrating the benefits of wage and price controls. The Princeton professor carried out a comparative analysis of the wages of restaurant employees in New Jersey, where the minimum wage was raised, and Pennsylvania where it was not. After an extensive investigation, Professor Kruger discovered that wages in New Jersey increased, whereas wages in Pennsylvania did not. This ground breaking study lays the foundation for policies that mandate even higher wages for workers and lower prices for consumer goods. Professor Krueger’s paper proves beyond any reasonable doubt, that wage and price controls do work, and his work establishes the groundwork for a golden age of luxuriously high salaries and exceptionally low-priced consumer goods.

GetZeeGold's picture

 

 

F'ing rookie - Jon Corzine

idea_hamster's picture

So the trade off: 3.5 years [of ass-busting marriage to the guy with the most cigarettes] in exchange for several million in hush money [that will be extorted out of you by other prisoners and then used to fund your HIV meds because you can't get insurance for a pre-existing condition]. Where does one sign [out]?

 

Fixed it for ya -- just sayin'....

toady's picture

If I went in today I'd get out when my oldest is a high school senior. The wife would HATE dealing with three teenage boys all alone, but if the money was right...

And, of course, it would need tp be one of those country club, tennis & golf course prisons. No anal penetration for me!

mr_T's picture

Do u see a pattern here.
First a Sri Lankan hedge fund guy.. now this. I guess they are not part of the White Shoe Boy Club. Madoff, he just pissed off the wrong people.

jeff montanye's picture

one, it's not the shoes that need to be white.  two, the eleventh commandment doesn't really involve republicans.  and bernie broke it.

malikai's picture

What a fantastic idea! It's a shame that nobody thought of that before. I look forward to low prices for all.

LawsofPhysics's picture

Weak MBD.  By the way, you can "mandate" all you want, the laws of Nature and physics don't give a shit and somehow they always win.  I henceforth mandate clean fresh water for everyone, unfortunately if there is none in your area, you are fucked just the same.

Admittedly I did chuckle at you "golden age of luxuriously high salaries and exceptionally low-priced consumer goods" comment, especially since what we have now is the exact opposite.

I remain long black markets, and seem to be seeing some great (tax free) returns.

HeatMiser's picture

Its to early in the morning for you MDB I have not had my coffee yet.

Pladizow's picture

The men he's protecting will get him out in 3yrs and he'll be then set for life!

yogibear's picture

Have to always have a fall guy when your at a high level. 

xtop23's picture

Adoboli lol. Need a miracle buddy?

Small potatos. Or as Dan Quayle would spell it, potatoes.

Middle_Finger_Market's picture

Hush money that's worthless when he gets out...

q99x2's picture

Deport Bernanke.

JPM Hater001's picture

Yeah, why arent we freeing the shit out of Corzine?

Atlantis Consigliore's picture

Fuggettaboutit: Corzine for Treasury Secretary Buy Bonds. 

imaginalis's picture

I want Corzine and Madoff to be put in charge of Senators pension funds

malikai's picture

Justice is served! Rejoice, slaves!

malikai's picture

He was convicted because U2 sucks.

It was a message to the band to stop being such dipshits.

tocointhephrase's picture

Now how about those rogue central banksters?

Yen Cross's picture

 Plenty of time to write a book, and make plans for his next gig when he gets out of Club Fed.

toady's picture

That depends on the bribe. If the price is right, screw the book & next gig, just work on your golf & tennis because you'll be retired when you get out.

I hear club fed has an excellent golf course.

LawsofPhysics's picture

Apparently the "buck" stops at the bottom.  Bullshit, execute the fucking management and watch how fast the blatant fraud stops and the market rallys.  I'd be willing to bet he took the fall in exchange for being set for life after serving his "time".  

virgilcaine's picture

1 down 5000 rogues to go.

zapdude's picture

Adoboli better know where the bodies are buried, or he'll just rot in jail with no payoff at the end -- if he even makes it out alive.

Anyone in a position like him ought to have a "mail this package to the SEC if I'm ever arrested or found suicided" file to ensure their own survival. 

Remember, there is no honor among theives.

Buckaroo Banzai's picture

"mail this package to the SEC".

That's funny!

zapdude's picture

Yeah, that's right.  Not sure how you have any leverage or dead-man's trigger when the regulators are captured by the criminals.  This guy's probably just toast.

Dr. Engali's picture

If it's not a package of porn videos they won't even bother to open it. The same people paying off Adoboli own the SEC.

Cognitive Dissonance's picture

Rogue Trader = Plausible Deniability

Miles Kendig's picture

Better to attempt to plausibly deny the ability to properly supervise.  Must be part of the core curriculum at all the leading business and law schools leading to the coveted Masters of Mendacity certification process

Dubaibanker's picture

Adoboli's wife hates all of us...She says...he used to sleep under his desk and work 16 hours a day...and now this....////sarc....lol

Am very happy a banker went to jail, however short a time, because these are the vermins who brought trouble on all the rest of 99% bankers who work in areas outside of Investment Banking/Trading, the taxpayers and the main street people.

Adoboli deserves this for the risks he took and the damage he caused to the reputation (whatever is left) of the bankers worldwide. But for bringing UBS down on its knees, single handedly, with a loss of USD 2.3bn, without any support of the ratings agencies, deserves some kudos as well! 

Yen Cross's picture

 One would probably get more time for stealing a case of "Twinkies", as they are now considered fine art...

orangedrinkandchips's picture

Thank You T!!

I was waiting for the "hush money", payoff, fall guy (lee majors?), etc.

 

NOT A ICE CREAM CONES CHANCE IN SW FLORIDA HE WALKS AWAY BROKE!

The CEO is free and living the dream.

 

Great work, if you can get it......

Dr. Engali's picture

I'm glad they took care of that. They have restored complete faith in the markets now that all the fraudsters have been taken care of.

nah's picture

im pretty sure you dont just sign up

.

you have to promice to sacrifice your firstborn in exchange for guessing someones name

Lendo's picture

I'd do 3.5 years in a white collar prison for millions no problem.  I'd then build a compound in Montana with a golf course and road course.

buzzsaw99's picture

Typical, throw the negro under the bus. Corzined bitchez.

Joe Davola's picture

Probably the back of the bus, to boot.

JustObserving's picture

Don't worry.  Your CFTC, under Gensler, is working hard to bring the criminals who manipulate the silver market to justice.  It may take a few years, or the perpetrators may die from old age, but the CFTC never gives up.

 

e-recep's picture

the negro is busted, the market is clean now, this is bullish. just BTFD.

Aurora Ex Machina's picture

The court records of his team handling him the baton are amusing, if only for the naivety he showed.

 

"Yep, we're looking at you to take the fall"

darteaus's picture

ADOBOLI IS INNOCENT!!!

 

I'm the one you want!

slackrabbit's picture

 

 

I'm Brian and so's my wife!

http://youtu.be/4SYc_flMnMQ

 

Yes, Sir. The report says Oswald worked alone and no one checked his work ;-)

Tombstone's picture

It should have been 3.5 years and NO Twinkies for life.