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UBS Rogue Trader Gets 7 Year Sentence

Tyler Durden's picture


Remember Kweku Adoboli: the 32 year old rogue trader who was solely responsible for UBS' massive $2.3 billion trading loss, and cost the firm's then CEO his job?


So the trade off: 3.5 years in exchange for several million in hush money. Where does one sign up?

But at least "justice is served." Another pawn thrown in the slammer as those who "redistribute" the billions in Fed flow each month continue to enjoy 3 martini lunches at Dorsia. In other news, while the Adoboli loss had no impact on UBS capital whatsoever, a far greater existential risk to the once legendary Swiss bank (which is now merely the owner of the largest trading floor paintball field for hire) is that Switzerland is no longer the world's tax haven, resulting to billions in deposits outflows from Switzerland and into Singapore. Too bad nobody can be sued over that.

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Tue, 11/20/2012 - 10:37 | 2998572 Fips_OnTheSpot
Fips_OnTheSpot's picture

where's corzine?

Tue, 11/20/2012 - 10:41 | 2998591 MillionDollarBonus_
MillionDollarBonus_'s picture

REPEC's 50 best economists in the world: Highlights – Part 2

Coming in at number 37 is Professor Alan B. Krueger

Professor Krueger was appointed as chief economic advisor by President Barack H. Obama on November 7th 2011.

Professor Kruger is best known for his ground breaking paper demonstrating the benefits of wage and price controls. The Princeton professor carried out a comparative analysis of the wages of restaurant employees in New Jersey, where the minimum wage was raised, and Pennsylvania where it was not. After an extensive investigation, Professor Kruger discovered that wages in New Jersey increased, whereas wages in Pennsylvania did not. This ground breaking study lays the foundation for policies that mandate even higher wages for workers and lower prices for consumer goods. Professor Krueger’s paper proves beyond any reasonable doubt, that wage and price controls do work, and his work establishes the groundwork for a golden age of luxuriously high salaries and exceptionally low-priced consumer goods.

Tue, 11/20/2012 - 10:49 | 2998629 GetZeeGold
GetZeeGold's picture



F'ing rookie - Jon Corzine

Tue, 11/20/2012 - 10:56 | 2998643 idea_hamster
idea_hamster's picture

So the trade off: 3.5 years [of ass-busting marriage to the guy with the most cigarettes] in exchange for several million in hush money [that will be extorted out of you by other prisoners and then used to fund your HIV meds because you can't get insurance for a pre-existing condition]. Where does one sign [out]?


Fixed it for ya -- just sayin'....

Tue, 11/20/2012 - 11:01 | 2998665 toady
toady's picture

If I went in today I'd get out when my oldest is a high school senior. The wife would HATE dealing with three teenage boys all alone, but if the money was right...

And, of course, it would need tp be one of those country club, tennis & golf course prisons. No anal penetration for me!

Tue, 11/20/2012 - 11:01 | 2998666 JPM Hater001
JPM Hater001's picture

Where do I sign up?

Tue, 11/20/2012 - 12:06 | 2998852 mr_T
mr_T's picture

Do u see a pattern here.
First a Sri Lankan hedge fund guy.. now this. I guess they are not part of the White Shoe Boy Club. Madoff, he just pissed off the wrong people.

Tue, 11/20/2012 - 13:26 | 2999179 jeff montanye
jeff montanye's picture

one, it's not the shoes that need to be white.  two, the eleventh commandment doesn't really involve republicans.  and bernie broke it.

Tue, 11/20/2012 - 10:50 | 2998632 malikai
malikai's picture

What a fantastic idea! It's a shame that nobody thought of that before. I look forward to low prices for all.

Tue, 11/20/2012 - 10:58 | 2998639 LawsofPhysics
LawsofPhysics's picture

Weak MBD.  By the way, you can "mandate" all you want, the laws of Nature and physics don't give a shit and somehow they always win.  I henceforth mandate clean fresh water for everyone, unfortunately if there is none in your area, you are fucked just the same.

Admittedly I did chuckle at you "golden age of luxuriously high salaries and exceptionally low-priced consumer goods" comment, especially since what we have now is the exact opposite.

I remain long black markets, and seem to be seeing some great (tax free) returns.

Tue, 11/20/2012 - 11:16 | 2998701 HeatMiser
HeatMiser's picture

Its to early in the morning for you MDB I have not had my coffee yet.

Tue, 11/20/2012 - 10:41 | 2998592 Pladizow
Pladizow's picture

The men he's protecting will get him out in 3yrs and he'll be then set for life!

Tue, 11/20/2012 - 11:04 | 2998671 yogibear
yogibear's picture

Have to always have a fall guy when your at a high level. 

Tue, 11/20/2012 - 11:55 | 2998739 xtop23
xtop23's picture

Adoboli lol. Need a miracle buddy?

Small potatos. Or as Dan Quayle would spell it, potatoes.

Tue, 11/20/2012 - 11:31 | 2998757 Middle_Finger_Market
Middle_Finger_Market's picture

Hush money that's worthless when he gets out...

Tue, 11/20/2012 - 10:41 | 2998593 q99x2
q99x2's picture

Deport Bernanke.

Tue, 11/20/2012 - 10:41 | 2998594 Barry Mcokiner
Barry Mcokiner's picture

Free Corzine!!!

Tue, 11/20/2012 - 11:03 | 2998669 JPM Hater001
JPM Hater001's picture

Yeah, why arent we freeing the shit out of Corzine?

Tue, 11/20/2012 - 10:43 | 2998600 Atlantis Consigliore
Atlantis Consigliore's picture

Fuggettaboutit: Corzine for Treasury Secretary Buy Bonds. 

Tue, 11/20/2012 - 12:20 | 2998921 imaginalis
imaginalis's picture

I want Corzine and Madoff to be put in charge of Senators pension funds

Tue, 11/20/2012 - 10:44 | 2998606 malikai
malikai's picture

Justice is served! Rejoice, slaves!

Tue, 11/20/2012 - 10:52 | 2998641 malikai
malikai's picture

He was convicted because U2 sucks.

It was a message to the band to stop being such dipshits.

Tue, 11/20/2012 - 10:47 | 2998622 tocointhephrase
tocointhephrase's picture

Now how about those rogue central banksters?

Tue, 11/20/2012 - 10:48 | 2998623 Yen Cross
Yen Cross's picture

 Plenty of time to write a book, and make plans for his next gig when he gets out of Club Fed.

Tue, 11/20/2012 - 11:11 | 2998692 toady
toady's picture

That depends on the bribe. If the price is right, screw the book & next gig, just work on your golf & tennis because you'll be retired when you get out.

I hear club fed has an excellent golf course.

Tue, 11/20/2012 - 10:48 | 2998624 LawsofPhysics
LawsofPhysics's picture

Apparently the "buck" stops at the bottom.  Bullshit, execute the fucking management and watch how fast the blatant fraud stops and the market rallys.  I'd be willing to bet he took the fall in exchange for being set for life after serving his "time".  

Tue, 11/20/2012 - 10:48 | 2998625 virgilcaine
virgilcaine's picture

1 down 5000 rogues to go.

Tue, 11/20/2012 - 10:49 | 2998626 zapdude
zapdude's picture

Adoboli better know where the bodies are buried, or he'll just rot in jail with no payoff at the end -- if he even makes it out alive.

Anyone in a position like him ought to have a "mail this package to the SEC if I'm ever arrested or found suicided" file to ensure their own survival. 

Remember, there is no honor among theives.

Tue, 11/20/2012 - 11:08 | 2998679 Buckaroo Banzai
Buckaroo Banzai's picture

"mail this package to the SEC".

That's funny!

Tue, 11/20/2012 - 13:22 | 2999162 zapdude
zapdude's picture

Yeah, that's right.  Not sure how you have any leverage or dead-man's trigger when the regulators are captured by the criminals.  This guy's probably just toast.

Tue, 11/20/2012 - 11:19 | 2998714 Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture

If it's not a package of porn videos they won't even bother to open it. The same people paying off Adoboli own the SEC.

Tue, 11/20/2012 - 10:49 | 2998627 Cognitive Dissonance
Cognitive Dissonance's picture

Rogue Trader = Plausible Deniability

Tue, 11/20/2012 - 13:14 | 2999139 Miles Kendig
Miles Kendig's picture

Better to attempt to plausibly deny the ability to properly supervise.  Must be part of the core curriculum at all the leading business and law schools leading to the coveted Masters of Mendacity certification process

Tue, 11/20/2012 - 10:51 | 2998635 Dubaibanker
Dubaibanker's picture

Adoboli's wife hates all of us...She says...he used to sleep under his desk and work 16 hours a day...and now this....////sarc....lol

Am very happy a banker went to jail, however short a time, because these are the vermins who brought trouble on all the rest of 99% bankers who work in areas outside of Investment Banking/Trading, the taxpayers and the main street people.

Adoboli deserves this for the risks he took and the damage he caused to the reputation (whatever is left) of the bankers worldwide. But for bringing UBS down on its knees, single handedly, with a loss of USD 2.3bn, without any support of the ratings agencies, deserves some kudos as well! 

Tue, 11/20/2012 - 10:55 | 2998648 Yen Cross
Yen Cross's picture

 One would probably get more time for stealing a case of "Twinkies", as they are now considered fine art...

Tue, 11/20/2012 - 10:59 | 2998656 orangedrinkandchips
orangedrinkandchips's picture

Thank You T!!

I was waiting for the "hush money", payoff, fall guy (lee majors?), etc.



The CEO is free and living the dream.


Great work, if you can get it......

Tue, 11/20/2012 - 11:00 | 2998661 Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture

I'm glad they took care of that. They have restored complete faith in the markets now that all the fraudsters have been taken care of.

Tue, 11/20/2012 - 11:00 | 2998663 nah
nah's picture

im pretty sure you dont just sign up


you have to promice to sacrifice your firstborn in exchange for guessing someones name

Tue, 11/20/2012 - 11:07 | 2998678 Lendo
Lendo's picture

I'd do 3.5 years in a white collar prison for millions no problem.  I'd then build a compound in Montana with a golf course and road course.

Tue, 11/20/2012 - 11:08 | 2998682 buzzsaw99
buzzsaw99's picture

Typical, throw the negro under the bus. Corzined bitchez.

Tue, 11/20/2012 - 11:22 | 2998721 Joe Davola
Joe Davola's picture

Probably the back of the bus, to boot.

Tue, 11/20/2012 - 11:26 | 2998741 buzzsaw99
buzzsaw99's picture

omg - lolololololol!!

Tue, 11/20/2012 - 11:14 | 2998699 JustObserving
JustObserving's picture

Don't worry.  Your CFTC, under Gensler, is working hard to bring the criminals who manipulate the silver market to justice.  It may take a few years, or the perpetrators may die from old age, but the CFTC never gives up.


Tue, 11/20/2012 - 11:22 | 2998723 e-recep
e-recep's picture

the negro is busted, the market is clean now, this is bullish. just BTFD.

Tue, 11/20/2012 - 11:36 | 2998766 Aurora Ex Machina
Aurora Ex Machina's picture

The court records of his team handling him the baton are amusing, if only for the naivety he showed.


"Yep, we're looking at you to take the fall"

Tue, 11/20/2012 - 11:43 | 2998785 darteaus
darteaus's picture



I'm the one you want!

Tue, 11/20/2012 - 11:59 | 2998820 slackrabbit
slackrabbit's picture



I'm Brian and so's my wife!



Yes, Sir. The report says Oswald worked alone and no one checked his work ;-)

Tue, 11/20/2012 - 12:26 | 2998957 Tombstone
Tombstone's picture

It should have been 3.5 years and NO Twinkies for life.

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