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Goodbye Hostess

Tyler Durden's picture


Everyone loses:


Next up: the Twinkie economy.

Fom Leveraged Loan:

U.S. Bankruptcy Judge Robert Drain this afternoon approved Hostess Brands’ emergency wind-down plan, as well as an amendment to its debtor-in-possession credit agreement that will allow Hostess to access the full amount of its $75 million DIP loan during its liquidation.

Drain also denied a motion filed by the U.S. Trustee to convert the case to Chapter 7, though he did not rule out the prospect of a conversion at a later date.

Hostess returned to the bankruptcy courthouse in White Plains, N.Y., this morning after a last-minute mediation yesterday between the company and its main bakers’ union failed to produce a settlement to halt liquidation of its assets. The hearing began Monday afternoon, but was delayed shortly thereafter to give the company and the Bakery, Confectionary, Tobacco and Grain Millers Union a final opportunity to engage in mediation to avert the strike the BCT began last week. But by Tuesday evening, Hostess announced that the mediation was “unsuccessful.”

Judge Drain opened today’s hearing with a brief, private chambers conference to discuss the mediation, the details of which remain confidential.

Back in open court, Hostess financial advisor Joshua Scherer, of Perella Weinberg, took the witness stand to discuss the company’s failed efforts to sell the company as a whole, and the status of its newly launched liquidation strategy.

During its Chapter 11, Hostess fielded six bids for the sale of the company as a whole, none of which passed muster, Scherer said.

In the past five days, however, since Hostess officially launched its liquidation process, the company has received “a flood of inquiries,” said Hostess lawyer Heather Lennox, of Jones Day. The company expects to file a number a number of stalking-horse bids for its assets within the next few weeks, she said.

“The number of inbound calls has been surprising, on a number of fronts,” Scherer said. Those inquiries fall into four “buckets,” he explained. Offers have come from regional bakeries, national competitors, customers (such as Wal-Mart, Kroger and Giant Eagle), and a fourth catch-all category, including large consumer products companies. Scherer said the liquidation sale has generated “very significant interest” from international buyers as well.

Many of the buyers were uninterested in the assets when Hostess was weighed down by its union liabilities, he said. “We have very significant momentum right now with, from a selling perspective, positive press,” Scherer said. “It’s critical to maintain momentum and a competitive dynamic.”

“Every day our product is off the shelf, it’s diminishing in value. Our customers get used to selling goods without our brands, and the end-users learn to live without Twinkies and Wonder Bread.”

On the stand, Hostess CEO Gregory Rayburn said he needs to terminate about 15,000 employees today so that they can collect unemployment benefits. Drain approved an employee retention plan that would keep about 3,200 employees on the job during the wind-down process.


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Wed, 11/21/2012 - 16:39 | 3003156 Frank N. Beans
Frank N. Beans's picture

my twinkie!

Wed, 11/21/2012 - 16:45 | 3003180 bigdumbnugly
bigdumbnugly's picture

goodbye hostess

hello john galt

Wed, 11/21/2012 - 16:47 | 3003185 Mister Ponzi
Mister Ponzi's picture

Indeed. Atlas shrugged.

Wed, 11/21/2012 - 16:50 | 3003198 Shocker
Shocker's picture

Sucks to see, either way. Another company down the tubes.


Wed, 11/21/2012 - 17:01 | 3003207 ZerOhead
ZerOhead's picture

Hostess is Toastess...

Their junk (food) bonds are going to get monkey hammered.

Wed, 11/21/2012 - 17:11 | 3003252 economics9698
economics9698's picture

Obama, Obama, gimmie a free cell phone.  Obama give me a free cell phone.

Wed, 11/21/2012 - 17:12 | 3003267 strannick
strannick's picture

Next up, the twinkie economy

Cant print twinkies

Wed, 11/21/2012 - 17:15 | 3003277 Kali
Kali's picture

Ahh, but they will print you a "Certificate of Twinkie"  that is worth one twinkie.

Wed, 11/21/2012 - 17:42 | 3003347 tmosley
tmosley's picture

"Everyone loses"

Except for those with enough foresight to stockpile Twinkies.  Idiots shop on Ebay, bitchez.

Wed, 11/21/2012 - 18:12 | 3003392 DaveyJones
DaveyJones's picture

the bankruptcy judge's name is drain.

Wed, 11/21/2012 - 18:36 | 3003446 Cheesy Bastard
Cheesy Bastard's picture

Well, the parasites have killed their Hostess.

Wed, 11/21/2012 - 20:38 | 3003637 cranky-old-geezer
cranky-old-geezer's picture



They'll print Federal Twinkie Notes that aren't redeemable for twinkies or anything else, and they'll backed by "the full faith and credit of the US govt".

Wed, 11/21/2012 - 22:56 | 3003841 Frozen IcQb
Frozen IcQb's picture

Anybody interested in taking a long position in Twinkies deliverable futures?

Apparently JPM is on the short side and their vault is filled with them.

Wed, 11/21/2012 - 17:15 | 3003273 ZerOhead
ZerOhead's picture

Did I say monkey hammered?

I meant Ding Donged...

Wed, 11/21/2012 - 17:00 | 3003232 Mr Lennon Hendrix
Mr Lennon Hendrix's picture

We don't need corporations just like we don't need government.

Go make your own damn twinkees.

Wed, 11/21/2012 - 17:11 | 3003266 economics9698
economics9698's picture

Back in the USSR.

Wed, 11/21/2012 - 18:45 | 3003461 spastic_colon
spastic_colon's picture

Why does this seem like a stealth Michele O assault on American one is forcing hostess products down our more large big gulps and now twinkies etc. this is getting stupid

Wed, 11/21/2012 - 18:01 | 3003373 LetThemEatRand
LetThemEatRand's picture

"Indeed. Atlas shrugged."

Exactly right.  A company that made chemical food that no one needed.  Management that paid itself hundreds of millions to run a company into bankruptcy over a period of years, while bitching that workers made too much.  And a brand that will live on to make more worthless management types money in the future, while the workers and bondholders of the old company lose everything.  A few at the top prevail and everyone else gets fucked.  Pretty much exactly what Ayn Rand teaches us is the desired model of human interaction.

Wed, 11/21/2012 - 18:29 | 3003426 eatthebanksters
eatthebanksters's picture

Amazing that your ideaology doesn't get in the way of your facts...have a twinkie!

Wed, 11/21/2012 - 18:41 | 3003452 LetThemEatRand
LetThemEatRand's picture

Amazing that your ideology does not require any facts at all in order to criticize mine ... have a ding dong!

Wed, 11/21/2012 - 19:22 | 3003514 Marc45
Marc45's picture

A chemical no one needed?  This is not about need but want.  Consumers wanted twinkies so Hostess made them.

Why would management run the company into the ground on purpose?  The real travesty is that an "unecessary" union brought down a company that employed thousands of workers, many who probably live paycheck to paycheck.  They're all screwed now.

Unions don't need to exist.  We have OSHA and plenty of labor laws.  There are no sweatshops or child labor factories in the US.  The only thing unions are doing is sucking money out of your paycheck and extorting businesses to pay more or else they strike.

When you have every business in the country paying everything they make to the workers you have...communism.  The beauty of this country is you can form a union, you can strike and you can fire all your workers and go out of business if you want.

Wed, 11/21/2012 - 19:56 | 3003565 LetThemEatRand
LetThemEatRand's picture

"Why would management run the company into the ground on purpose?"

Of course they did not, or at least I have no reason to suspect they did.   But where is the outrage from your political side of the equation at the system that allows management in cases like this to walk away with millions?  What did they do to earn their money?   If you believe in the free market, why do you support a system where management has zero exposure to loss created even by their own incompetence?   And if you think that is just the spoils of being the "productive class" (whether you are productive or not), why do you not support the idea that workers want their own spoils?   Isn't it part of being free that a wage earner can enter into agreements with other wage earners to achieve the objective of making more money?  Do you advocate a caste system where CEOs can milk every last dime and laugh as they leave the burning building, but workers must dutifully take whatever is offered to them?

Wed, 11/21/2012 - 21:45 | 3003763 Midas
Midas's picture

If you guys are going to feed the troll, you should bring enough twinkies for everyone.

Thu, 11/22/2012 - 00:53 | 3003961 marty.mcfly
marty.mcfly's picture

There was a chance for someone like "LetThemEatRand" to come in and purchase the company before they filed for bankruptcy.  This would have been the perfect oportunity for a liberal businessman to buy up Hostess and run the company "for the workers."  Guess what?  There is no such thing as a liberal businessman.  Everyone that looked at the books noticed the union liabilities and knew it couldn't be done!

Thu, 11/22/2012 - 01:48 | 3004015 A Nanny Moose
A Nanny Moose's picture

"If you believe in the free market, why do you support a system where management has zero exposure to loss created even by their own incompetence?"


This is the result of The Corporation, a legal fiction created by government. This is NOT the free market.

Thu, 11/22/2012 - 07:10 | 3004172 Tator
Tator's picture

But where is the outrage from your political side of the equation at the system that allows management in cases like this to walk away with millions? 


Troll hypocracy  on display.


So fair play.


But where is the outrage from your political side of the equation at the system that allows union leaders in cases like this to walk away with millions? 

Thu, 11/22/2012 - 07:10 | 3004173 Tator
Tator's picture

But where is the outrage from your political side of the equation at the system that allows management in cases like this to walk away with millions? 


Troll hypocracy  on display.


So fair play.


But where is the outrage from your political side of the equation at the system that allows union leaders in cases like this to walk away with millions? 

Thu, 11/22/2012 - 00:38 | 3003951 Lord Koos
Lord Koos's picture

Obviously not enough people wanted Hostess products or the company would still be around...   Bad financial choices, bad food, and bad management - but somehow it's all the workers' fault?  I think not. 

Thu, 11/22/2012 - 03:14 | 3004064 redpill
redpill's picture

False equivalency.  The top executives and their compensation are approved by the board (for better or for worse), which represents those that actually OWN the company.  The union does not own the company.  The union doesn't own shit.  So don't sit there and pretend that a union boss that doesn't produce ANYTHING has any claim on making decisions in a company he doesn't own.  Workers were crossing the line to keep Hostess open under threat of union fines, and still the union wouldn't budge.  Maybe the executives were overpaid, maybe they weren't.  Maybe they were total incompetant assholes, maybe they weren't.  That's up to the ownership and the board, not anyone else.  This fucked up morality where people believe that once they get paid to make fucking TWINKIES for someone means they should have a say in how the company is run is ri-goddamn-diculous. 

You know what I did the last time I had a job where I felt the situation was unfair?  I quit and found a different job.  If you're worth two shits, that is what you do.  This whiny shit where you bring down the organization through unrealistic collective demands is, and has always been, the most myopic retarded invention in the modern economy.

Wed, 11/21/2012 - 20:43 | 3003652 cranky-old-geezer
cranky-old-geezer's picture



A company that made chemical food that no one needed.

I suspect we could get by ok without unions too.

Wed, 11/21/2012 - 22:56 | 3003847 Ident 7777 economy
Ident 7777 economy's picture

Hoisted on his own petard.


Thu, 11/22/2012 - 00:40 | 3003955 Lord Koos
Lord Koos's picture

Sure -- Walmart workers are "getting by" just fine.

Thu, 11/22/2012 - 01:49 | 3004017 A Nanny Moose
A Nanny Moose's picture

Last I check, Walmart workers still had jobs.

Thu, 11/22/2012 - 00:17 | 3003928 Lord Koos
Lord Koos's picture

It's not "everybody loses", it's only the suckers that lost.  The people at the top did not lose.

Fri, 11/23/2012 - 09:52 | 3006030 Dangertime
Dangertime's picture


Exactly right. A company that made chemical food that no one needed. Management that paid itself hundreds of millions to run a company into bankruptcy over a period of years, while bitching that workers made too much. And a brand that will live on to make more worthless management types money in the future, while the workers and bondholders of the old company lose everything. A few at the top prevail and everyone else gets fucked. Pretty much exactly what Ayn Rand teaches us is the desired model of human interaction."


Answer:  I wonder why Management doesn't need to form a union?  Oh right, because they earn their position.  None-the-less, it is rather disingenuous for you to support truck drivers earning $125,000 a year.  Is that the new middle class?  If so, it's only because of the Obama-bucks being printed all over the country.

Thu, 11/22/2012 - 07:25 | 3004180 TheFourthStooge-ing
TheFourthStooge-ing's picture

To the tune of Supertramp's Goodbye Stranger:

On the day before Thanksgiving,
The doors were closed for good
At the factories that made things
Analogous to food.

Like a cupcake with no filling,
Like an empty cherry pie,
Like a Donner Party dinner,
The carcass was bled dry.

Left with worthless equity shares,
The employees were all sacked,
And Twinkie the Kid
Was shot square in the back.

Goodbye Ding Dongs, Ho-Hos too,
Off to Ebay, sold to fools.
Stalking horse bids, judge, trustee,
Move along folks, nothing to see.

Goodbye Hostess Wonder Bread.
Piss poor management left you dead.
Union bosses raped you raw.
Exec bonuses: coup de grace.

Wed, 11/21/2012 - 16:46 | 3003183 BLOTTO
BLOTTO's picture

Queue in 5 pages of cream-filled sarcasm...


Twinkie: Enriched wheat flour, sugar, corn syrup, niacin, water, high fructose corn syrup, vegetable and/or animal shortening – containing one or more of partially hydrogenated soybean, cottonseed and canola oil, and beef fat, dextrose, whole eggs, modified corn starch, cellulose gum, whey, leavenings (sodium acid pyrophosphate, baking soda, monocalcium phosphate), salt, cornstarch, corn flour, corn syrup, solids, mono and diglycerides, soy lecithin, polysorbate 60, dextrin, calcium caseinate, sodium stearoyl lactylate, wheat gluten, calcium sulphate, natural and artificial flavors, caramel color, yellow No. 5, red #40.[10]

Wed, 11/21/2012 - 17:16 | 3003220 ZerOhead
ZerOhead's picture

The loss will surely be felt most acutely at America's obesity clinics.

This could be the Straw(berry cupcake) that breaks the Ca(ra)mel (HoHo)s back.

Wed, 11/21/2012 - 17:07 | 3003259 Mary Wilbur
Mary Wilbur's picture

Plastic food.

Wed, 11/21/2012 - 17:19 | 3003290 duo
duo's picture

and delivered by $125K a year union truck drivers.

Wed, 11/21/2012 - 17:21 | 3003293 Drachma
Drachma's picture

You forgot to add that the soybean, cottonseed, canola, corn and wheat are genetically modified. The damn thing has more corn in it than corn! High-fructose Cornkie.

Wed, 11/21/2012 - 17:22 | 3003297 divide_by_zero
divide_by_zero's picture

Weapon of Mass Obesity

Wed, 11/21/2012 - 17:34 | 3003329 Metalredneck
Metalredneck's picture

Suddenly, I'm nauseous...

Wed, 11/21/2012 - 17:37 | 3003335 Abiotic Oil
Abiotic Oil's picture

You're not supposed to post the recipe for Zyklon B on a public forum like that.

Wed, 11/21/2012 - 18:12 | 3003394 Dawnofinsanity
Dawnofinsanity's picture

Is it too late to sell my futures in Yellow No. 5, red #40 and processed corn products? 

Wouldn't be surprised if the actuaries for Obamacare ran the math on the cost of 15,000 more going onto employee insurance vs the cost of sugar addicted people who keep bombarding themselves with cancer causing ingredients.     

Wed, 11/21/2012 - 21:18 | 3003717 GrinandBearit
GrinandBearit's picture

Being and ex-food scientist I can tell you with certainty that the amount of yellow#5 and red#40 are less than 0.001%.  A small amount of artificial color goes a long way.  It's just not worth owning futures in art colors -lol

Wed, 11/21/2012 - 18:29 | 3003424 A Lunatic
A Lunatic's picture

Yellow slime..........

Wed, 11/21/2012 - 18:30 | 3003431 eatthebanksters
eatthebanksters's picture

What's truly amazing is that it goes in one end as a twinkie and comes out the other as a Ho Ho...

Wed, 11/21/2012 - 16:50 | 3003200 slaughterer
slaughterer's picture

Fuck it, SLAUGHTERER INDUSTRIES will buy Hostess.  I will have my lawyers and pitchteam submit my BID this weekend.  

Wed, 11/21/2012 - 17:10 | 3003264 Cathartes Aura
Cathartes Aura's picture

SLAUGHTERER INDUSTRIES would be a more apt name for those gross snacks, given the ingredients listed above.

rename 'em Death Bombs, and leave the "twink" label where it has found favour of late. . .

Wed, 11/21/2012 - 17:31 | 3003318 slaughterer
slaughterer's picture

Gonna RE-BRAND "Twinkies" as "Slaughterers" and make them in BLACK with RED filling.  Expect sales increase of 300% to justify takeover offer.  

Wed, 11/21/2012 - 17:36 | 3003332 Metalredneck
Metalredneck's picture

Sounds metal.

Better get Dethklok for the TV ads.

Wed, 11/21/2012 - 17:44 | 3003339 fuu
Wed, 11/21/2012 - 17:42 | 3003345 slaughterer
slaughterer's picture

Got a YouTube I can use for Dethklok?  Post link please, you are appointed advertising manager, BTW.  

Wed, 11/21/2012 - 23:29 | 3003882 StychoKiller
StychoKiller's picture

Yo, it's even food-related...

Wed, 11/21/2012 - 18:33 | 3003436 eatthebanksters
eatthebanksters's picture

If you can buy the brands for pennies onthe dollar and have either or both production capabilites and a distribution network, then twinkies may be back and actually profitable for a change...

Wed, 11/21/2012 - 20:56 | 3003671 Karlus
Karlus's picture

Im sure that even the Hostess brand itself will not die. Why would it? Its an asset to go on the block too. Im guessing one of two things will happen...

Factory will get piecemealed out at auction and someone will pick up the name and formulas for a song. They will leverage their existing infrastructure to make the products and it will be like a hostile buyout but with no mess.

Two, the whole asset will get bought out, unencumbered (perhaps by current private owners with the help of equity) for pennies on the dollar.

The big thing is shedding the union garbage and the debt

Wed, 11/21/2012 - 18:34 | 3003441 post turtle saver
post turtle saver's picture

Blacker than the blackest black times infinity...

Wed, 11/21/2012 - 18:02 | 3003376 Pants McPants
Pants McPants's picture

Somewhere Anderson Cooper smiles.

Wed, 11/21/2012 - 21:55 | 3003757 Michaelwiseguy
Michaelwiseguy's picture

Somewhere Anderson Vanderbilt Cooper, Andrea Greenspan, and Jon Leibowitz smiles. Fixed it for ya.

Wed, 11/21/2012 - 16:41 | 3003158 ihedgemyhedges
ihedgemyhedges's picture

I don't lose.  My wife said she'd have sex with me again whenever hell freezes over or when they stop making Twinkies......YES!!!!!!!

Wed, 11/21/2012 - 17:05 | 3003243 bigdumbnugly
bigdumbnugly's picture

if she's been eating twinkies for that long is this necessarily a good thing?

and maybe the cream filling is a bit dried up.

Wed, 11/21/2012 - 17:16 | 3003279 knukles
knukles's picture

Mrs K was very disturbed the other night when I rolled my yang in yellow fuzzy confection, stuck it out at her and told her it was her last chance for a taste of a Twinkie....

(fighting the dogs for space on the couch is only amusing until about 2 a.m. after adult swim is over)

Wed, 11/21/2012 - 17:35 | 3003333 Deo vindice
Deo vindice's picture

Mrs. K seems to have made a poor choice of spouse as well.

Wed, 11/21/2012 - 17:04 | 3003247 resurger
resurger's picture


Wed, 11/21/2012 - 17:06 | 3003255 AlaricBalth
AlaricBalth's picture

Don't erase the bookmarks to your Internet porn sites just yet. Twinkies will rise again under another parent company. Never underestimate the average obese American's craving for junk food. And now that marijuana laws are being relaxed, Twinkies are guaranteed to be around for quite awhile.

Wed, 11/21/2012 - 17:18 | 3003286 knukles
knukles's picture

Go long home delivery pizza joints.

(Heh he he.  He said joint, get it, joint?)

Wed, 11/21/2012 - 17:34 | 3003327 ozziindaus
ozziindaus's picture

I've only ever had one Twinkie in my entire life but now I crave one badly. Whomever takes over will hit the jackpot. Pent up demand, no pension obligations, minimum wage.......

Wed, 11/21/2012 - 18:34 | 3003442 eatthebanksters
eatthebanksters's picture

and talk about free advertising!

Thu, 11/22/2012 - 04:12 | 3004089 Ginsengbull
Ginsengbull's picture

Most people don't know this, but you can make a weed pipe from a twinkie.

Wed, 11/21/2012 - 17:32 | 3003322 Frank N. Beans
Frank N. Beans's picture

i shoulda let you have the first comment, but who knew?!

Wed, 11/21/2012 - 16:40 | 3003162 debtor of last ...
debtor of last resort's picture

Big Bird, would you please turn off the lights when you leave?

Wed, 11/21/2012 - 16:41 | 3003163 Intoxicologist
Intoxicologist's picture

So long, whipped lard...

Wed, 11/21/2012 - 16:41 | 3003164 Dr. Richard Head
Dr. Richard Head's picture

This guy is going to be PISSED

Wed, 11/21/2012 - 17:09 | 3003263 economics9698
economics9698's picture

That was perverted.

Wed, 11/21/2012 - 17:21 | 3003294 knukles
knukles's picture

Jesus, man...

You are one sick bastard....
That is straight out of a bad acid flashback...
Gonna need serious profesional help, psychological rehabilitation again

Reminds me of the time I got electro-shock therapy whilst on acid.

Wed, 11/21/2012 - 19:28 | 3003522 Likstane
Likstane's picture

Wow dickhead, that really made me hungry for some disgustingly fat tittied sweat-soaked mushy body temp confectionaries.   I think Little Debbie's may want to consider changing her name after that highly stimulating visual experience.

Wed, 11/21/2012 - 16:43 | 3003166 Larry Dallas
Larry Dallas's picture

For what it's worth, I feel better now knowing there is some justice out there and this BS won't be tolerated.

Don't mind me while I'm grave dancing.

A two-fer. Elmo and Twinkies in one week. Being a kid isn't what it used to be...

Wed, 11/21/2012 - 17:12 | 3003270 Cathartes Aura
Cathartes Aura's picture

the truths will out eventually, and the kids can breathe a sigh of relief.

Wed, 11/21/2012 - 17:23 | 3003300 knukles
knukles's picture

Only thing left for the kids to do is gonna be sucking turtles out of their shells...

Wed, 11/21/2012 - 16:41 | 3003167 Cursive
Cursive's picture

Won't miss this crap.  Anybody who is craving these crap products, just do an internet search for make your own twinkies.  Hell, make a day of it with the kids.  Quality time, too!

Wed, 11/21/2012 - 20:33 | 3003627 get your snake oil
get your snake oil's picture

good luck with that,you'll need a haz-mat certificate to aquire the ingredients

Wed, 11/21/2012 - 16:41 | 3003168 TraderTimm
TraderTimm's picture

Take your Ho-Ho's and get out of town!


Wed, 11/21/2012 - 16:42 | 3003170 Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture

Finally we can outsource our Twinkies making to China and fat Americans everywhere can gorge themselves for less.

Wed, 11/21/2012 - 16:42 | 3003175 john39
john39's picture

no doubt they will up the lead level beyond the current USDA rec.

Wed, 11/21/2012 - 16:48 | 3003192 Manthong
Manthong's picture

I can't wait to see just what the Chinese will make Twinkie's out of.

Wed, 11/21/2012 - 16:51 | 3003204 Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture

Do we know what they were made out of here?

Wed, 11/21/2012 - 16:57 | 3003224 john39
john39's picture

some ingredients are mined out west, literally.  how could that possibly be bad?:

Wed, 11/21/2012 - 17:23 | 3003302 knukles
knukles's picture

melamine filling

Wed, 11/21/2012 - 16:59 | 3003233 markar
markar's picture

pink slime w high fructose corn syrup

Wed, 11/21/2012 - 19:20 | 3003511 DaveyJones
DaveyJones's picture

The USDA recently, actually upped the amount of sugar in the diet.  

Wed, 11/21/2012 - 17:00 | 3003234 Eternal Complainer
Eternal Complainer's picture

" and fat Americans can gorge themselves for less"


(brainwashing article by the globalist pigs)

"Obesity gene linked to happiness"

Fat people may be more jolly because a gene which contributes to obesity also lowers the risk of depression, researchers claim.

Wed, 11/21/2012 - 16:41 | 3003171 john39
john39's picture

the basic plan for Europe and the U.S...  destroy and strip the carcass of anything of value.  

Wed, 11/21/2012 - 16:45 | 3003182 Cognitive Dissonance
Cognitive Dissonance's picture

I call dibs on the leather boots.

<Need a new shoulder holster for my Sig.>

Wed, 11/21/2012 - 16:50 | 3003197 Manthong
Manthong's picture

Got a Tac light for that sig?

I seem to recall something about a busted toe and Irene.

Wed, 11/21/2012 - 16:59 | 3003230 Cognitive Dissonance
Cognitive Dissonance's picture

Ahhh.....the good old days. 

I'll take a pass on the Tac light. I really don't want to see what's left after America shoots itself in the foot.....again :)

Wed, 11/21/2012 - 17:09 | 3003262 RockyRacoon
RockyRacoon's picture

Ha!  A Tac light just makes a good target.  I thought that was NOT the idea.  Oh, well.

Wed, 11/21/2012 - 17:18 | 3003287 MachoMan
MachoMan's picture

True, but it also helps to see your target before you start shooting at it...  there are disorienting strobe functions...  or command on/off switches...  so it's not like you have to keep it on all the time and draw a bullseye on yourself.

Wed, 11/21/2012 - 17:19 | 3003289 Cognitive Dissonance
Cognitive Dissonance's picture

But...but...but they use them all the time in the movies. :)

<Maybe a laser instead?>

Wed, 11/21/2012 - 17:25 | 3003310 knukles
knukles's picture

Hows about a couple claymores with pressure pads?

Modern life....

Wed, 11/21/2012 - 17:32 | 3003321 Cognitive Dissonance
Cognitive Dissonance's picture

Mrs. Cog just vetoed your idea. Something about our cat and a big mess to clean up. :)

<Here kitty kitty.>

Wed, 11/21/2012 - 17:14 | 3003272 fuu
fuu's picture

When were you in my house last year? Must have been before the boating accident.

Wed, 11/21/2012 - 17:35 | 3003331 Cognitive Dissonance
Cognitive Dissonance's picture

Zero Hedge seems to attract a LOT of inept boaters.  :)

<You're gonna need a bigger boat.>

Wed, 11/21/2012 - 17:44 | 3003352 fuu
fuu's picture

All of our sailors were tossed overboard.

Wed, 11/21/2012 - 21:57 | 3003774 Hulk
Hulk's picture

All our sailors were tossing off overboard. Thats why they are called seemen...

Wed, 11/21/2012 - 16:53 | 3003210 Agent P
Agent P's picture

Wear your gun on your belt like a real man!

Wed, 11/21/2012 - 16:49 | 3003193 SheepDog-One
SheepDog-One's picture

Yea exactly, thats all the future holds. FED's big fire sale....sell it all off to the highest bidder.

Wed, 11/21/2012 - 16:58 | 3003226 john39
john39's picture

the best part... they buy everything with wealth stolen from us and others around the world...

Wed, 11/21/2012 - 16:44 | 3003179 mrktwtch2
mrktwtch2's picture

a few yrs back in chicago ..fannie mae went out of buisness because of labor issues but someone else bought the name and recipies in bankruptcy and it was like they didnt skip a beat..someone will but the rights anf make them again..hell they had 2 billion in sales last year so there is money to be mad in the brand..

Wed, 11/21/2012 - 16:47 | 3003191 SheepDog-One
SheepDog-One's picture

OH sure, well they'll be made in China now....where does anyone think 'assets' will be sold off or given to?

Wed, 11/21/2012 - 16:47 | 3003186 SheepDog-One
SheepDog-One's picture

Great news for markets I'm sure, somehow or other.

Wed, 11/21/2012 - 16:47 | 3003189 imbrbing
imbrbing's picture

So I guess twinkies didn't outlast cockroaches

Wed, 11/21/2012 - 16:54 | 3003212 Rainman
Rainman's picture

neither will you humans

Wed, 11/21/2012 - 17:27 | 3003312 knukles
knukles's picture

Ah, the bakery didn't outlast the cockroaches....
Them Twinkies just might, yet....

Wed, 11/21/2012 - 16:51 | 3003201 Schmuck Raker
Schmuck Raker's picture

Thanks for the info, now what is the trade?

Hmmm, I'll trade you my PBJ and this orange for your Ho-Ho.

Wed, 11/21/2012 - 16:57 | 3003219 Mr Lennon Hendrix
Mr Lennon Hendrix's picture

Euro bears will probably see this as dollar bullish. 

I wonder how last night's flight to "safety" worked out for everybody....

Wed, 11/21/2012 - 16:58 | 3003227 youngman
youngman's picture

In school its more me your twinkie and I´ll give my PBJ and Orange...and throw in a big banana if you want...

Wed, 11/21/2012 - 16:54 | 3003214 WTFx10
WTFx10's picture

 Thats how fascists bust up a union, Bankrupt. Then they will reopen using the same name under new management and hire non union at 10 bucks an hour limited bennies. Gotta compete? ALL LEGAL LIKE.

Who loses?

Who gains?

Same as it ever was.

Wed, 11/21/2012 - 17:19 | 3003291 Whiner
Whiner's picture

No, no, no. A thousand times, "No". I need a union to protect my above-market salary. Is it too late to call Obummer? He muscled in the GM case to preserve salaries and benefits, making sure new jobs go to China. Whose gonna protect me? Oh well, disability and unemployment gives me what I need, so who cares?

Wed, 11/21/2012 - 18:51 | 3003473 walküre
walküre's picture

If you're refering to the execs salaries and other compensation. Yes, that's WAY ABOVE market or at least infintely more than any of these assholes' productivity is worth.

Wed, 11/21/2012 - 21:01 | 3003682 cranky-old-geezer
cranky-old-geezer's picture



that's WAY ABOVE market or at least infintely more than any of these assholes' productivity is worth.

Describing union employees?    Sounds like it.

Thu, 11/22/2012 - 04:10 | 3004088 Ginsengbull
Ginsengbull's picture

Management has their own unions, called lean, 6 sigma, tqm, iso, or a bunch of other management strategies. They get together with lawyers and conspire on how to fuck employees, customers, suppliers, investors, and our own country.

Thu, 11/22/2012 - 09:12 | 3004259 cranky-old-geezer
cranky-old-geezer's picture



I agree management tries to screw everybody to make their pay and bonuses and beneifts better. 

But unions do the very same thing.  The identical same thing, no difference at all.


Wed, 11/21/2012 - 16:55 | 3003215 OldE_Ant
OldE_Ant's picture

And employees get a twinkee up the a$$. 

Sweet dreams

Wed, 11/21/2012 - 16:55 | 3003218 youngman
youngman's picture

Next up SEIU......I hope...



But boy am I going to miss that sodium stearoyl that is good stuff

Wed, 11/21/2012 - 16:58 | 3003225 European American
European American's picture

Maybe it's good that Twinkies are no longer available to the 1 out of 3 Americans that fall into the "Obese" category.

Sugar, lot's of it in different forms and lot's of GMO foodless additives.

Sweets and GMO's are in BOLD.


(For all you healthfood vegans out there who were closet twinkie eaters. It's got beef FAT in it.)


Enriched Bleached Wheat Flour [Flour, Reduced Iron, B Vitamins (Niacin, Thiamine Mononitrate (B1), Riboflavin (B2), Folic Acid)], Corn Syrup, Sugar, High Fructose Corn Syrup, Water, Partially Hydrogenated Vegetable and/or Animal Shortening (Soybean, Cottonseed and/or Canola Oil, Beef Fat), Whole Eggs, Dextrose. Contains 2% or Less of: Modified Corn Starch, Glucose, Leavenings (Sodium Acid Pyrophosphate, Baking Soda, Monocalcium Phosphate), Sweet Dairy Whey, Soy Protein Isolate, Calcium and Sodium Caseinate, Salt, Mono and Diglycerides, Polysorbate 60, Soy Lecithin, Soy Flour, Cornstarch, Cellulose Gum, Sodium Stearoyl Lactylate, Natural and Artificial Flavors, Sorbic Acid (to Retain Freshness), Yellow 5, Red 40.

Wed, 11/21/2012 - 17:03 | 3003244 Piranhanoia
Piranhanoia's picture

Left out the various animal feces?  They are in the higher than 2% category

Wed, 11/21/2012 - 17:03 | 3003246 e-man
e-man's picture

I was surprised at Enriched Bleached Wheat Flour. Who'd a thunk there was some form of food in there.

Wed, 11/21/2012 - 17:26 | 3003311 Cathartes Aura
Cathartes Aura's picture

*cough*  dwarf wheat.

Wheat is now a different grain than it was for our ancestors- who were much healthier in many respects than today’s population.  It is no surprise then to see the increase in diagnosis of wheat intolerance, wheat allergies and celiac disease.  Nor is it a surprise to see increases in a plethora of autoimmune diseases, obesity and diabetes.

three important points about the dwarf wheat we currently consume:

  1. It contains a Super Starch — amylopectin A that is super fattening.
  2. It contains a form of Super Gluten that is super-inflammatory.
  3. It contains forms of a Super Drug that is super-addictive and makes you crave and eat more.

seriously, any corporate manufactured supermarket food is toxic - all ingredients are under suspicion, to blindly trust is insane.

Wed, 11/21/2012 - 23:08 | 3003858 Flatchestynerdette
Flatchestynerdette's picture

Despite my vociferous defense of the free economic model in above comments, I must say - I hate twinkies and ho-hos, sno-balls, and the more I learn about whats in them like dwarf wheat (thank you for your post) the more I'm staying FAR AWAY from certain items.


I need to educate myself on current food additives. I knew high fructose corn syrup was bad. Did not know anything about WHEAT.

The grocery store is now a maze of unexploded incediary dietary health explosives. I just found out that CANNED foods were bad because of some issue w/lining - so there goes the idea to eat canned vegetables but come on! I can't eat fruits/vegetables from Mexico because of waste usage as fertilizer, I can't eat them from Chile because of carbon footprints, China uses anti-freeze.

Where do I get my vegetables and fruit? California is closed for business since the EPA shut down the growers because of a minnow and the environmentalists.

We're all going to starve - I think this is their plan: Area 21. Its going into effect.

Thanks George HW Bush for signing that UN thing.


Thu, 11/22/2012 - 01:57 | 3004022 European American
European American's picture

If you're not shopping exclusively in health food stores (and reading EVERY label and knowing what every ingredient is and what it does to your body/mind and buying accordingly) and if you are not growing your own organic vegetables at home so you can see the whole process from seed to harvest, then you are DEAD MEAT even if you're a vegetarian. Add to that, the need to stop eating at all restaurants.


It's getting that dangerous out there.

Thu, 11/22/2012 - 04:05 | 3004083 Ginsengbull
Ginsengbull's picture

I think Long John Silvers gets their fish from Fukushimi Diaitchi.


I ate some and it felt like my tongue and innards were glowing or something.

Wed, 11/21/2012 - 16:58 | 3003228 slaughterer
slaughterer's picture

OT: WTI today, LULZ.  

One the Hillary is gone, the boyz will play with their rockets again.  

Wed, 11/21/2012 - 17:00 | 3003235 youngman
youngman's picture

Now.....if I was a union controlled company....and wanted wage would be a pretty good time to go for it...before Obama makes it illegal to cut a union job or wage....

Wed, 11/21/2012 - 18:02 | 3003372 jim249
jim249's picture

You also have to wonder what this will do to this shopping season. This story has saturated the news. The average Joe might just think twice about how safe their job really is.

Wed, 11/21/2012 - 17:00 | 3003236 e-man
e-man's picture

The irony is that the shelf life of a Twinkie is longer than the life of the company that makes it.

Wed, 11/21/2012 - 17:30 | 3003317 Coldsun
Coldsun's picture

The real irony of it is that the Twinkie has more value in it than a dollar. Are Twinkies the next safe store of wealth? It holds its value better than the dollar, long shelf life, and is edible.

Wed, 11/21/2012 - 17:44 | 3003351 Metalredneck
Metalredneck's picture

Can I stack 'em?

Wed, 11/21/2012 - 22:21 | 3003796 CaptainObvious
CaptainObvious's picture

Yeah, I kept my Twinkies in the boat with my guns 'n' gold, before that unfortunate boating catastrophe.  I wonder if it's worth hiring a salvage crew so I can list my endangered snack products on ebay.

Wed, 11/21/2012 - 17:03 | 3003238 IridiumRebel
IridiumRebel's picture

If China starts to make them lets call them Chinkies!

If Mexico starts to make them lets call them Los Twinkos!

If the Fed steps in they can call them Berninkies!

They also could make smaller versions called Twinks!

Slogan: "Everyone loves the cream inside!"

Wed, 11/21/2012 - 17:07 | 3003257 azzhatter
azzhatter's picture

If GE makes them they'll be GEnkies

Wed, 11/21/2012 - 17:15 | 3003278 IridiumRebel
IridiumRebel's picture

Make a cheese version(sans real cheese) called:


Wed, 11/21/2012 - 18:28 | 3003423 alangreedspank
alangreedspank's picture

Genkem ?

Wed, 11/21/2012 - 17:17 | 3003282 fuu
fuu's picture

If "Friends of Goldman" pick it up we can call them "Squinkies".

Wed, 11/21/2012 - 17:24 | 3003301 IridiumRebel
IridiumRebel's picture

Theyre the Blankfeinest around!

Wed, 11/21/2012 - 17:29 | 3003314 fuu
fuu's picture

That other snack could be "Mo-mo's".

Thu, 11/22/2012 - 03:59 | 3004082 Ginsengbull
Ginsengbull's picture

Hershey foods sent a lot of their manufacturing to Mexico. That's where they make the Reeses peanut butter cups now.


They pronounce it the same way, except they roll the first letter R.

Wed, 11/21/2012 - 17:05 | 3003250 Flatchestynerdette
Flatchestynerdette's picture

I just saw "Mike" the bakery union guy on CNBC who clearly is out to lunch on economics and he said one thing that came out at the end which really torqued me: I'm out for me.

If that were true? Then he should've walked away from the job at Hostess and gotten a job with Sara Lee. WTF? Instead, he and his ilk bring down 10,000 others because as he said "I'm out for me"

He went on to say that another bakery will come along and buy Wonderbread (the unit he works at). His pension will be back (???) and so will his paycheck (???). He's willing to not get a paycheck, as he hasn't gotten paid for the last 2 weeks, then go 5 years at 27% cut.

What a fuc*ing dufus. That averages out to a 5.1% cut per year big whoop but he went on to say that his PENSION was the [item] that was getting hacked the most.

Excuse me - if you even HAVE a pension that is not social security, and it gives you ANYTHING based on wages, then TAKE IT AND BE DAMN GRATEFUL.

This guy just doesn't get it. I hope some group comes along and doesn't use the 3000 union idiots. I really do. Teamsters were willing to give. The other unions were willing to give (seems they had something like 400 unions according to CNBC- wow) up SOMETHING to make this work.


And oh, by the way, the bakers union boss? He wasn't even at the mediation and the bakers union? is fine with that. they want the company sold into pieces.

15,000 people out of work because of 3000 bakers.

what a disgrace.

Wed, 11/21/2012 - 17:31 | 3003319 knukles
knukles's picture

Mike didn't loose that pension himself.

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