The Five Little PIGS

Tyler Durden's picture

Via Mark J. Grant, author of Out of the Box,

 
"Oh, sure. Of course, you're entitled. Who doesn't want this, that, and the other?"
 
                      -Jerry & Elaine, Seinfeld
 
 
So we have the Greek debt crisis, the European Union budget problem and the European bank oversight issue and twenty-seven countries all wanting “this, that and the other” except “the other” is not that much fun unless Ms. Merkel surprises everyone by saying she is a little tired and pulling a Mae West and telling all twenty-seven nations that one will have to leave.
 
 
“Boys, tell that fellow from Athens that tonight is just not his night.”
 
 
The scenario is unlikely of course but then everyone involved is now playing the grand old game of “Work Around” where someone must pay and it is going to be anybody but them. “Not this little piggy,” says the IMF and “not this little piggy” says the ECB and “not this little piggy” says the European Union. This is all because no one wants the political winds to “blow their house down” but there is the grinning big bad old wolf sitting on the mountain of debt and all of the hairs on their “chinny, chin, chins” aren’t going to change that fact. In the classic tale there were three houses with the least stable being the one made of straw and let me tell you; Greece is the straw house. Now you may have thought that the IMF’s contribution was kind of like the Fed or the ECB and that they just created money from some pork barrel but this is not the case. As a matter of fact the United States, as a 16.75% contributor to the International Monetary Fund, is on the hook for $13.4 billion of the money lent to Greece, Ireland and Portugal. Soon, in my estimation, we will have two more pigs in the pen which will be Cyprus and Spain. Change the bed sheets; its “PIGS in a blanket” for everyone!
 
 
 
Why did the PIGS cross the road?
 
 
 
“Whether the PIGS crossed the road or the road crossed the PIGS depends upon your frame of reference.”
 
                 -Attributed to Albert Einstein
 
 
 
It used to be, in the good old days, that the amounts of money were trivial and the European stockpile was large so that more money could be shoveled into the trough and no one really cared. Every problem was handled by “Mo’ money.” Then one day the wolf trotted back to the Piggly Wiggly and the straw house had grown cavernous and Parthenon Pig had grown from piglet to porker and the credit card bill for the food and the entertainment is sitting on the table of Francois and Angela while they stare at it, try to ignore it as Austria, Finland and the Netherlands declare the offing “Not Kosher” and refuse to partake.
 
 
 
Three PIGS become five PIGS. “Deal or no Deal” results in three no deals. Howie Mandel is nowhere in sight. The wolf bangs at the door and begins to “huff and puff.” Truffles are being replaced with pork and beans. The Euro goes up. The ECB will save the world.
 
 
 
“Thaaat’s All Folks.”
 
                             -Porky PIG