The Five Little PIGS

Tyler Durden's picture

Via Mark J. Grant, author of Out of the Box,

"Oh, sure. Of course, you're entitled. Who doesn't want this, that, and the other?"
                      -Jerry & Elaine, Seinfeld
So we have the Greek debt crisis, the European Union budget problem and the European bank oversight issue and twenty-seven countries all wanting “this, that and the other” except “the other” is not that much fun unless Ms. Merkel surprises everyone by saying she is a little tired and pulling a Mae West and telling all twenty-seven nations that one will have to leave.
“Boys, tell that fellow from Athens that tonight is just not his night.”
The scenario is unlikely of course but then everyone involved is now playing the grand old game of “Work Around” where someone must pay and it is going to be anybody but them. “Not this little piggy,” says the IMF and “not this little piggy” says the ECB and “not this little piggy” says the European Union. This is all because no one wants the political winds to “blow their house down” but there is the grinning big bad old wolf sitting on the mountain of debt and all of the hairs on their “chinny, chin, chins” aren’t going to change that fact. In the classic tale there were three houses with the least stable being the one made of straw and let me tell you; Greece is the straw house. Now you may have thought that the IMF’s contribution was kind of like the Fed or the ECB and that they just created money from some pork barrel but this is not the case. As a matter of fact the United States, as a 16.75% contributor to the International Monetary Fund, is on the hook for $13.4 billion of the money lent to Greece, Ireland and Portugal. Soon, in my estimation, we will have two more pigs in the pen which will be Cyprus and Spain. Change the bed sheets; its “PIGS in a blanket” for everyone!
Why did the PIGS cross the road?
“Whether the PIGS crossed the road or the road crossed the PIGS depends upon your frame of reference.”
                 -Attributed to Albert Einstein
It used to be, in the good old days, that the amounts of money were trivial and the European stockpile was large so that more money could be shoveled into the trough and no one really cared. Every problem was handled by “Mo’ money.” Then one day the wolf trotted back to the Piggly Wiggly and the straw house had grown cavernous and Parthenon Pig had grown from piglet to porker and the credit card bill for the food and the entertainment is sitting on the table of Francois and Angela while they stare at it, try to ignore it as Austria, Finland and the Netherlands declare the offing “Not Kosher” and refuse to partake.
Three PIGS become five PIGS. “Deal or no Deal” results in three no deals. Howie Mandel is nowhere in sight. The wolf bangs at the door and begins to “huff and puff.” Truffles are being replaced with pork and beans. The Euro goes up. The ECB will save the world.
“Thaaat’s All Folks.”
                             -Porky PIG

Comment viewing options

Select your preferred way to display the comments and click "Save settings" to activate your changes.
mrktwtch2's picture

id say by mid 2013..germany gets tired of this charade and decides to begin the dissolving the can be un wound..just need a good model and some enron and gm

eigenvalue's picture

I don't think so... Merkel has an election in the second hald of 2013.  The last thing she wants is turbulence in the financial markets.

GetZeeGold's picture



The last thing she wants is turbulence in the financial markets.


Yeah....people might start throwing molotov cocktails and rioting.

bank guy in Brussels's picture

Mark Grant has been hugely wrong about Europe and did not admit it, unlike Graham Summers who at least admitted he was wrong ...

Mark Grant is still missing the point - made often on ZeroHedge - that Germany is itself hugely on the hook for all of this, its banks and pension funds and insurers loaded up with debt from Germany's over-levered banks lending to the GIIPS countries to sell German goods, the German mercantilist strategy

That is why Germany is keeping the game afloat, to prevent itself from blowing up

It's a shame we longer see ZeroHedge give excerpts from Peter Tchir of TF Market Advisors. A very smart guy, and very savvy on Europe, like this about the current EU situation:

« On fiscal cliff, Greece, and Europe, we seem to be at the same stage we’ve been a number of times before, including last November. As dark as it seems, they have the resources (printing presses) necessary and are more scared of contagion than they let on. Is this the time they think they can get away with Lehman 2? I don’t see it. Some might think that. Some are even hinting at that, but behind closed doors, I think enough people will come to the conclusion that the risk is great, and even Germany, might be seeing that this slow pace of barely keeping the patient alive is not leading to anything good. »

Sudden Debt's picture

Last week, in a German poll, 80% of all Germans where terriefd and believe they won't a pension when their time comes and they'll live in poverty.

That one will be used during the elections, rest assured.

Angela OUT

Himler IN

THE DORK OF CORK's picture

Bank guy is correct of course

Ireland would be better off with even a devalued Sterling peg , but our role is capital export to the cores banks.

In the center of Cork today there was heavy traffic  in a domestic demand  depression ! where there is little internal commerce.


They want us to continue to misallocate resourses as that is how the core functions - it sells us grot.

Its the real reason they call us the PIigs , they overfeed us so later we can be Butchered    at a paper profit.


Dump the euro experiment and watch the BRiCs  ,Germany and oil tank.


Winston Churchill's picture

Another Europe wide war will be the result of continuing the failed

Euro experiment.History is rhyming again.

Be thankful you live on an Island,Dork.

It may sheild you a little.

augustus caesar's picture

Capital misallocation is one of the main reasons recessions and depressions occur as the markets need time to adjust capital to produce what is actually demanded by market participants. This adjustment period is characterized by high unemployment and low productivity. I often think about this as I go into a store every once in a while and see shelves stocked with unmoving inventory that retailers are ultimately forced to discount heavily in order to get rid of it.

Misallocation is the calling card of centralized planning as any form of centralized capital allocation will lack the effieciency of individual market participants acting in enlightened self-interest.

One way to look at this is to imagine one super computer with limited data making decisions versus billions of smaller computers with far more accurate, localized data networked together.

Hope it's a nice day in Ireland, wish I could see the green again.

THE DORK OF CORK's picture

Yes Winston, island life has its advantages.



What are you smoking ?

"Misallocation is the calling card of centralized planning as any form of centralized capital allocation will lack the effieciency of individual market participants acting in enlightened self-interest"

The "free market" has always been very well planned  ,sometimes for the few.

The free market means free credit allocation , the banks hold a monopoly on credit - in the modern banking world they can produce credit in the goverments unit of account , a extreme privilege


Once you accept this "free market" as nothing of the sort you will come to appreciate good dirigism

e policies as the best that can be acheived in a post 1648 world.

Ireland for example needs some rational COLLECTIVE central planning.

(the above rail line terminated at this fort  / town of Crosshaven)

virgilcaine's picture

A recession will pull the rug out from the charade.  So far they've been able to keep it going but not much longer.

rsnoble's picture

The US is in a recession/disguised depression.  It's the admittance part that is lacking.  Not only that the new normal seems to be accepting 0% growth as the new normal and since it's normal it couldn't possible be a recession.

Things are so bad they have to lie everystep of the way and don't even try figuring anything out because they are changing the rules every step of the way and there is no way of telling when the end of that road is reached.

rsnoble's picture

For example they just discovered the EU was in recession after a few countries have literally been burning down for sometime now.  I don't exactly but into the conspiracy this was all planned, looks more to me like a bunch of greedy assholes with all this shit blowing up in their faces and they just can't understand why everyone doesn't want to go along with it.  I'm still waiting for ET to land in my backyard so I can get the fuck off this rock.

rsnoble's picture

Yeah and while all the politicians argue the people are literally starving and going to hell in a handbasket.

The elite have plans..........and your well being isn't on the list.

I think someone with $ needs to send a few cargo boxes of arms to Greece and they can just wipe the motherfukers out that were never elected to their govt anyhow.

And now you have the jackasses in the US wanted to export all the people that signed seccesion petitions.  I have a better idea, those people are the ones that need to stay here and the other bastards are the ones that need to go.

I see possible society collapse coming.  Unfort still way too many people in the dark all of us fuckers with half a brain and have been watered down by all the idiots worried with total non issues like abortion etc.

Probably a worthless rant being im on ZH and most of us have probably been added to the deportation list.  

rsnoble's picture

No offense to any woman around here, what I meant by abortion being a non issue is a candidate preaching abortion but it's really only .00000001% of his agenda the rest of it involves fucking us over.

Auburn's picture

Cyprus Round I ..... €17bn for a population of 700,000.  Over €24,000 per person.  Come on banks, one more time, loud and proud ..... #WINNING#  while 99% of the people look on in disgust with visions of never ending poverty as a future.     

evolutionx's picture

Euro Collapse Explained in 3 Minutes

Reflections on Europes financial woes. Special subject: the economies of the European Community. Which debt is owed by whom? Who will pay the bill?

woggie's picture

the beast is on the gobble
and all that matters is we're all headed for it's belly

virgilcaine's picture

Zero growth still  isn't a recession, it's slow growth but  a Neg 4-6% would be. 

Winston Churchill's picture

You mean like it is with the correct deflator is applied to the GDP.

Cut the inreased  Govt spending out of that GDP, and we are contacting

somewhere around -15% per anum.Fits with what I see on the ground

even though its not particularly affecting my business.

Nothing to see here,move along.