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"Phones On Sale" - The Stampede Begins

Tyler Durden's picture


When Darwin conceived his theory of Natural Selection, he hardly had this in mind, but if it succeeds in eliminating the "less than viable", well... so be it.


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Fri, 11/23/2012 - 09:49 | 3006004 Vincent Vega
Vincent Vega's picture

We deserve everything that is coming our way. What a fucking shame.

Fri, 11/23/2012 - 09:54 | 3006034 vast-dom
vast-dom's picture

yesterday they all gorged on turkey and sat in a coma watching sports, but today they're more than ready...


Fucking disgusting!

Fri, 11/23/2012 - 10:00 | 3006054 Dr. Richard Head
Dr. Richard Head's picture

Im praying for tidal waves
I wanna see the ground give way.....

Fri, 11/23/2012 - 10:04 | 3006069 vast-dom
vast-dom's picture

well-fed off gimmick holiday and now ready to kill -- the amerikan way.

Fri, 11/23/2012 - 10:15 | 3006116 flacon
flacon's picture

Bullhorning Shoppers Lined Up For Thanksgiving Sales 2012

Fri, 11/23/2012 - 10:25 | 3006151 Pladizow
Pladizow's picture

Imagine when these armed American idiots are trying to get to food!

Fri, 11/23/2012 - 11:00 | 3006241 aka Gil
aka Gil's picture

The term "target-rich environment" comes to mind.

I noticed that some of those targets are extremely large. That's not a judgement, just a fact.

Fri, 11/23/2012 - 11:06 | 3006256 Enslavethechild...
EnslavethechildrenforBen's picture

If it weren't for food stamps, welfare, unemployment, social security and medicare, all the Walmart's would have been completely leveled years ago by the mass hordes of starving zombies.

Fri, 11/23/2012 - 11:25 | 3006314 Half_A_Billion_...
Half_A_Billion_Hollow_Points's picture

"When fascism came to America it was on Nike sneakers and Smiley tshirts."  George Carlin

Fri, 11/23/2012 - 11:42 | 3006396 HobbyFarmer
HobbyFarmer's picture

"Oh, I'm proud to be an American!  Where at least I know I'm free....(to shove and stampede for cheap crap)."

Fri, 11/23/2012 - 12:01 | 3006485 doomandbloom
doomandbloom's picture

I got Obama phone....

Fri, 11/23/2012 - 12:48 | 3006613's picture




And I'm proud to be an American,

Where at least I can watch TV.

And I'm glad to have the freedom,

To buy things I don't need...

Fri, 11/23/2012 - 14:39 | 3007000 ilion
ilion's picture

I'm having difficultis understanding whether I see human beings on this video or some animals in the jungle.

Fri, 11/23/2012 - 14:49 | 3007028's picture

Many animals are far more accommodating:

Fri, 11/23/2012 - 16:52 | 3007270 Michaelwiseguy
Michaelwiseguy's picture

I just want to know what the holiday shopper dead body count on retail floors will be this year.

I hope it's higher than last years dozen or so.

We should make a drinking game or fantasy dead shopper game of this.

I guess 3 dead on retail floors day 1.


Fri, 11/23/2012 - 17:10 | 3007318 malikai
malikai's picture

Two words regarding that video:

Neutron Bombs

Fri, 11/23/2012 - 18:40 | 3007499 MillionDollarBogus_
MillionDollarBogus_'s picture

Tyler = Drudge

Matt Drudge is showing the same video.

Slow financial news day...???

What's next, the People At Walmart...???

Fri, 11/23/2012 - 14:51 | 3007036 willwork4food
willwork4food's picture

Yea, but did that Fat chick hold onto that phone after she was neck-yanked from her coveted position? Inquiring minds want to know.


7th level, deep hell.

Fri, 11/23/2012 - 15:04 | 3007071 A Nanny Moose
A Nanny Moose's picture

...with money we don't have.

Fri, 11/23/2012 - 12:49 | 3006620 tmosley
tmosley's picture

These idiot store managers are to blame for this.  They should make people wait in line for these doorbusters.  Just setting them out like that is going to get people killed, and they fucking KNOW it.  But these guys seem to WANT the frenzy mentality.

Poorly designed systems turn good people into monsters.  We've known this ever since the Stanford Prison Experiment.  Yet systems continue to promote corruption and violence, even more so than they did back then.  

Fri, 11/23/2012 - 13:14 | 3006702 walküre
walküre's picture

Bullshit excuse.

Poorly designed systems turn good people into monsters.

Uneducated, unmannered and controlled parts of the population will always act the way they're supposed to.

My livestock is feeding just like that in a frenzy. That's ok because I control them and I take them to slaughter when they're ready.

I am the Bernank to my cattle!

Fri, 11/23/2012 - 13:19 | 3006720 bonderøven-farm ass
bonderøven-farm ass's picture

....and the disillusioned 'entitlement class' feel that greed only resides in the top 1%?  Oh where, oh where has Natural Selection gone....(sigh)

Fri, 11/23/2012 - 13:37 | 3006787 tmosley
tmosley's picture

Facts which have been proven by repeated observation and experimentation are not excuses.

The United States is the most educated country in the world.  If the problem is a "lack of education", then you are tilting at windmills because humanity can't afford the level of education you demand.  "Unmannered" is purely subjective, and manners disappear in such situations in any event.  Go to prison and see how long your "manners" last.  And "controlled" is exactly the point.  People within a system are controlled by that system.  If that system is designed poorly, it will turn good people into evil people, as has been shown repeatedly throughout human history, but in a most controlled and reproducible manner by the Stanford Prison Experiment, something I would venture a guess that you have never heard of.

You feel quite superior, but you would act exactly the same as those people were you placed into the same situation, having the same background.  Those people aren't mutants.  They are people, behaving like people.  

Fri, 11/23/2012 - 14:09 | 3006897 walküre
walküre's picture

I've heard of the experiment. That was in a prison. These people pushing, shoving and screaming at Walmart are not living in prison. Their life does not depend on having this gimmick. There are no threats anywhere either.

The people in the vid are acting like my livestock. If I trained my livestock to act differently, it would. These people act like they have either lost all self control or never had any to begin with.

I'm not superior but I'm not going to end up in a FEMA camp either. That's where these people will be headed one day and I wouldn't waste my efforts trying to stop the government from doing that. Would you stand in the way of government trying to take these people when government farming is no longer able to support all these people? You'd be out of your mind.

Fri, 11/23/2012 - 14:17 | 3006931 tmosley
tmosley's picture

Clearly you haven't.  Don't pretend like you know more than you do.  It makes you look like a fucking idiot.


Stop taking pride in your ignorance.


Fri, 11/23/2012 - 14:32 | 3006975 walküre
walküre's picture

What's your problem?

How does that have anything to do with how people acted today at a Walmart because a trinket is on sale?

Your shoe doesn't fit. Go bark at a different tree.

Fri, 11/23/2012 - 14:52 | 3007039 tmosley
tmosley's picture

My problem is with you parading your ignorance like it's some kind of fucking award.  You said the Stanford Prison Experiment took place in prison.  It didn't.  You have absolutely no idea what you are talking about.  You are nothing but a little pride machine with no redeeming features.  You think you are better than other people, that others are somehow subhuman because of their group behavior, and simply REFUSE to think any further to find who is REALLY at fault.


Fri, 11/23/2012 - 15:07 | 3007080's picture

Face it, tmos, some people are just too sophisticated to check the facts.

Fri, 11/23/2012 - 15:20 | 3007106 walküre
walküre's picture

You agree with tmos' statement?

These idiot store managers are to blame for this.  They should make people wait in line for these doorbusters.

Blame the store managers? Really?

They should have dropped the fucking toys from a chopper on the parking lot.

Who do we blame for the looting during Katrina? The store managers that failed to secure the contents in the stores before the flood hit?


Fri, 11/23/2012 - 15:28 | 3007122's picture

I agreed with him when he pointed out that you didn't know what the Stanford Prison Experiment was even though you stated quite firmly that you did. Verify!

Fri, 11/23/2012 - 15:44 | 3007152 walküre
walküre's picture

What the heck is this?

It was part of my socials curriculum in high school which goes back 20 years. I watched the movie "The Experiment" more recently.

Do I pass? Christ Almighty.

tmos is barking at the wrong tree imo. The people could very well resist. It's a personal choice. I've made that today and haven't spent a dime. So have many others. But you have a growing number of people who are obviously not remembering why we had the holiday in the first place. And I'm being very generous here.

I'm long livestock haulers.



Fri, 11/23/2012 - 16:48 | 3007268's picture



What the heck is this?


This is fight club. Anyone who claims to know something which can be disproved by a five second Google search takes the punch and likes it.

Fri, 11/23/2012 - 17:28 | 3007364 quasimodo
quasimodo's picture

This if fightclub where crockett sucks tmos's dick. They both need to STFU

Fri, 11/23/2012 - 18:10 | 3007401's picture

Fight Club Rules

1st RULE: You do not talk about FIGHT CLUB.

2nd RULE: You DO NOT talk about FIGHT CLUB.

3rd RULE: If someone says "stop" or goes limp, taps out the fight is over.

4th RULE: Only two guys to a fight.

5th RULE: One fight at a time.

6th RULE: No shirts, no shoes.

7th RULE: Fights will go on as long as they have to.

8th RULE: If this is your first night at FIGHT CLUB, you HAVE to fight.

Fri, 11/23/2012 - 18:35 | 3007487 tickhound
tickhound's picture

I notice you break 4 or 5 of these rules regularly.

Fri, 11/23/2012 - 21:43 | 3007503's picture

Please feel free to call me on any violations should they occur. Note that you are currently in violation of Rule 4 but I don't mind.


I've never suggested that anyone is a homosexual who should shut up simply because I could not refute his argument. Do you find such discourse to be edifying or informative?

Sat, 11/24/2012 - 00:29 | 3008075 Temporalist
Temporalist's picture

Ok well you did jump into a "fight" between two other people, but it's not really fight club it's ZH and it's a mosh pit more than a head to head battle.


Anyway I chimed in like a masochistic moron to point out that walkure's premise was right if not exactly accurate that the experiment was a simulation of a prison environment.  These people are "free" and not part of a jailor/jailee heirarchy so they are all on equal terms while the Stanford experiment focused on the "guards" forcefully abusing their new found "power" over their fellow classmates (acting as prisoners) which stopped the experiment short.  Nobody forced these people to do anything, nobody made them show up, nobody punished them for their actions, they had free will to leave.

Sat, 11/24/2012 - 11:20 | 3008343's picture

The two to a fight rule is rarely followed although if a participant objects I will back off. In any case, I did not jump into the fight between tmos and walkure. I spoke directly to tmos and it was walkure who then responded to me and asked me a question. Anything that happened afterward was a fair fight.


Anyway I chimed in like a masochistic moron to point out that walkure's premise was right if not exactly accurate that the experiment was a simulation of a prison environment.

 My problem with walkure and all those who upvoted him and down voted tmos was their blatant disregard for documented facts. The Stanford experiment did not take place in a prison. That's a fact and simply complaining that facts are too hard to consider or don't matter at all doesn't change reality. The Standford experiment does illustrate tmos's point in a way however I offered the Otto Friedrich quote as a real world example of how faults within the system lead to faults within individuals as tmos stated.

ZH is usually much more open to documented evidence as opposed to things made up out of thin air than yesterday's crowd evidenced. The realists must still be on vacation.


Sat, 11/24/2012 - 06:33 | 3008210 A Nanny Moose
A Nanny Moose's picture

Careful there. Those who cannot hack it in the really real world will, naturally, call you on this. Of course they are the same small minds, who take Fight Club rules literally.

Fri, 11/23/2012 - 15:14 | 3007096 walküre
walküre's picture

You got me. It didn't take place in A prison but it was based on a prison environment with people assuming the roles of prisoners and guards. Yes, dude I've seen the movie adaptation. Thought it was well done.

Maybe you had too much turkey yesterday or the cat shat on your pumpkin pie. I will give you that as an excuse for your ranting.

But THE EXPERIMENT had nothing to do with hundreds of "shoppers" going after a cheap trinket at Walmart and other stores and in the process fighting for the deal like their lives were depending on it.

Now, explain for the humble idiots like myself how your example of a prison environment relates in any way, shape or form with the store environment where people behaved their worst in order to snag a "deal".

Nobody is forcing these people to behave like they are today. Their lives aren't threatened and they don't have to develop allegiances because they don't know who to trust either.

The Standford Experiment is NOT a good example to try and profile these out-of-control "shoppers" and somehow excuse their behaviour today.

Why does anyone have to be at fault and why are you defending their behaviour? Seriously? You're wanting to be the advocate of these people who have shyte for brains and will probably end up in government camps?

Fri, 11/23/2012 - 15:31 | 3007128's picture

tmos said:


 People within a system are controlled by that system.  If that system is designed poorly, it will turn good people into evil people, as has been shown repeatedly throughout human history,


If you don't like the Stanford study here's a real life example which also supports his point:


Otto Freidrich described the period of German hyperinflation and its effects: “… People carried wages home in huge crates; by the time they could spend even their trillion-mark notes they were practically worthless… There was not a single girl in the entire middle class who could get married without her father paying a dowry… They saved and saved so that they could get married, and so it destroyed the whole idea of remaining chaste until marriage…the girls learned that virginity didn't matter anymore.”

Fri, 11/23/2012 - 16:02 | 3007186 tickhound
tickhound's picture

What the Stanford experiment showed is that people will readily conform to the roles they are expected to play.

For tmo to blame the "store managers" is in contradiction to the very experiment he used to support it.

Then you chimed in with support??  By noting a flawed system and its effects on "role?"


Fri, 11/23/2012 - 16:13 | 3007209 walküre
walküre's picture

"Hunger Games" next? Because I suspect some of these out-of-control shoppers trained days and weeks in advance of the stampede today?



Fri, 11/23/2012 - 17:58 | 3007280's picture



For tmo to blame the "store managers" is in contradiction to the very experiment he used to support it.

Then you chimed in with support??  By noting a flawed system and its effects on "role?"


Intelligent men work to overcome the psychological bias to follow the herd. A thinking man will look to the Stanford Experiment for a guide as how not to behave.


Managers at all levels are employed to deploy the resources given to them in an effective manner. These Walmart melees happen every year. Management at all levels knows that and yet has taken inadequate steps to control the situation. Are you suggesting that when potentially dangerous incidents occur over and over again at a place of business that the management bears no responsibility?

Fri, 11/23/2012 - 16:03 | 3007189 walküre
walküre's picture

This goes back to the age old question and premise whether people are inherently good or bad to begin with. I'm not sure I can agree with Otto Friedrich's sentiment that girls gave up their virginity when they couldn't afford to get married as virgins due to hyperinflation. The dowry concept was irrelevant at that point. Women had to go out and secure incomes just like their fathers, husbands, brothers and so on. Once the girls and women left the safety of their homes to generate income, they were at the mercy of the world around them.

I would make it alot simpler in my analysis. The out-of-control shoppers are stupid. Plain and simple as stupid as sheep, pigs or cattle trying to get to the trough. No difference in that behaviour whatsoever.

It's more interesting to observe if people would have behaved similar at any other time in history or if we are truly descending into a failed society and devolution.



Fri, 11/23/2012 - 18:13 | 3007294's picture



The dowry concept was irrelevant at that point. Women had to go out and secure incomes just like their fathers, husbands, brothers and so on. Once the girls and women left the safety of their homes to generate income, they were at the mercy of the world around them.


You seem to believe that simply imagining that something is true makes it true. Please provide documentation for your assertion. Otto Friedrich was there and you were not so you must have garnered your information from somewhere. Cite the source.


PS -- Few things say "ignorance is bliss" better than down voting a request for documentation.

Fri, 11/23/2012 - 18:33 | 3007477 walküre
walküre's picture

Otto Friedrich Bollnow was an idealist and lived in a bubble.

If he had time to think about the fleeting value of paper money and its effects on the dowry of bourgeoise girls who couldn't possibly get married; he must have been pretty sheltered from everything else that was going on during that time.

He was a scholar, a teacher and an idealist. He idealized Adolf Hitler and the Nazi movement, he waved their flag and carried their party membership.

Hier ist in der Tat ein Kliniker am Lebenswerk, erkennbar ist Bollnows Ehrgeiz, noch den widerspenstigsten Exaltationen "des Lebens" eine aus dem Leben selbst geschöpfte Rationalität zu unterlegen. Dass ein derartiges Prozessdenken auch entgleisen kann, zeigte sich bei Bollnow in seiner Blindheit für die Nazis: der Philosophie- und Pädagogikprofessor, der in Physik promoviert wurde, war 1933 ein Anhänger von Hitlers Machtergreifung und trat 1937 in die NSDAP ein.

Imagine yourself during that time. Friedrich was privileged and his circle was the privileged class. Maybe he witnessed how privileged girls he personally knew started fooling around before they got married. He blamed hyperinflation for that. So many reasons why he could have made that assertion. I'm just speculating.

A little research on the source opens up a new insight into the character himself. Don't get me wrong, I'm not completely dissing his works or trying to assassinate his reputation post mortem. I'm sure he was a bright man and accomplished alot. But in order to understand where this man's philosphy was coming from and what shaped his way of thinking, we have to look at the complete picture.

Fri, 11/23/2012 - 19:22 | 3007520's picture


A little research on the source opens up a new insight into the character himself.


That research should be conducted upon the person in question and not someone with a similar name. You've researched Otto Friedrich Bollnow not Otto Friedrich.

Before the Deluge: A Portrait of Berlin in the 1920s [Paperback]
Otto Friedrich (Author)



You provided no support for your argument that dowries were already irrelevant prior to the Weimar hyperfaltion with the exception of:


Imagine yourself during that time


That is exactly what I meant when I said, "You seem to believe that simply imagining that something is true makes it true."  Where are your figures documenting marriage agreements which occurred prior to and during the Weimar hyperinflation? Where is the testimony of those who lived through those times? Imagining has nothing to do with supporting your assertions with verifiable evidence.

Fri, 11/23/2012 - 20:07 | 3007659 walküre
walküre's picture

Ok, let's go back to the basics then. Shall we?

Forget my research on Otto Friedrich Bonnow. I should have asked you to clarify which one we're talking about and saved myself the time.

This is what your guy wrote:

Otto Freidrich described the period of German hyperinflation and its effects: “… People carried wages home in huge crates; by the time they could spend even their trillion-mark notes they were practically worthless… There was not a single girl in the entire middle class who could get married without her father paying a dowry… They saved and saved so that they could get married, and so it destroyed the whole idea of remaining chaste until marriage…the girls learned that virginity didn't matter anymore.”

The time frame Friedrich describes here was a relatively short period during the Weimar Republic where money lost value very quickly during a day. This was sometime 1923 only. Do you think that it had such great relevance on marriages in general? Also keep in mind Friedrich was American and who knows where he got his information from or who talked to him in Germany. It could have been completely exaggerated which is what it sounds like to me.

Women started to emancipate and became much more prominent and exposed. Many German men were lost due to WW1. Women entered a new age The concept of marriage and family started to change as result.

My point of view is from countless conversations with my grand parents who lived during that time and shared many stories. I never heard them or anyone else in their age group bemoan the fact that they couldn't afford a dowry and therefore didn't get married.

We are facing another period of hyperinflation when all governments realize their debts and entitlements cannot be repaid or fullfilled. There's no other option but to default on the debt by one big print fest. Weimar settled its debts that way..

I care to discuss with you but your personal inuendos make it difficult to stay on message.

Fri, 11/23/2012 - 20:47 | 3007723's picture


I should have asked you to clarify which one we're talking about and saved myself the time.


Why would I need to clarify the difference between a man named Otto Friedrich and a man named Otto Friedrich Bollnow? Should I also point out to you that  George Washington and George Washington Carver are not the same man?


Also keep in mind Friedrich was American and who knows where he got his information from or who talked to him in Germany. It could have been completely exaggerated which is what it sounds like to me.


Friedrich's work is well sourced as one would expect from an award winning journalist. Anyone can know where he got his information if one take's the trouble to look. He also conducted personal interviews with residents of Berlin who had lived through the period in question:


"Yes, the inflation was by far the most important event of this period," says a seventy-five-year-old journalist, a woman who still lives in Berlin. She is white-haired and rather large, and she nibbles cookies as she talks, forgetting that it is already two in the morning. "The inflation wiped out the savings of the entire middle class, but those are just words. You have to realize what that meant. There was not a single girl in the entire middle class who could get married without her father paying a dowry. Even the maids — they never spent a penny of their wages. They saved and saved so that they could get married. When the money became worthless, it destroyed the whole system for getting married, and so it destroyed the whole idea of remaining chaste until marriage."


"The rich had never lived up to their own standards, of course, and the poor had different standards anyway, but the middle class, by and large, obeyed the rules. Not every girl was a virgin when she was married, but it was generally accepted that one should be. But what happened from the inflation was that girls learned that virginity didn't matter any more."


You still have contributed nothing but your impressions and imaginings regarding dowry agreements before or during the Weimar period while Otto Friedrich has provided an acclaimed historical work.

Fri, 11/23/2012 - 20:55 | 3007783 walküre
walküre's picture

Sure. Inflation is what "liberated" the women because dowries were worthless. Hundreds of historians got it wrong then. Women were first allowed to vote in 1918. Rosa Luxemburg had no influence whatsoever either, I suppose. Otto Friedrich should have acknowledged those two facts. 

Is Friedrich mentioning anything about the political progress in Europe in general and in Germany in particular during that time? The effects of that progression on the role of females in society?

Or is he strictly basing the "liberation of women" on the dowry issue and hyperinflation? That would be a crock. He probably isn't and neither should you. You're trying to create an argument where there isn't one. Hyperinflation was horrible and destroyed the lives of many.

Speaking of contribution? What have you shown us? Other than quoting Otto Friedrich and dispensing a few of his quotes as gospel. He wasn't the only one who studied that time period fyi.

Fri, 11/23/2012 - 21:46 | 3007811's picture

The woman Freidrich interviewed used the word "liberated." Friedrich wrote that word down because that is what interviewers do. It's called transcription. Consider that the word "liberated" is not necessarily used by this seventy-five year old German woman in the same sense that it might be used by an American woman of our own age and it would be a mistake to assume that it was. It would compound the mistake to assume that Friedrich based some grand theory on this quoted word rather than having merely transcribed it in an accurate manner.


Speaking of contribution? What have you shown us?


I've shown you that when you are compelled to document your own views you come up short because your imaginings are not representative of reality. But you can go right on thinking that Otto Friedrich and Otto Bollnow were the same man and that Stanford was a prison rather than a university. You and those who depend on you are the only ones whom your intellectual laziness can hurt. It means nothing to me.

Fri, 11/23/2012 - 13:39 | 3006793 Larry Dallas
Larry Dallas's picture

This was painful to watch. I'm willing to bet that none of them makes a discernable contribution to society. They just breed and eat and want what's theirs.

Fri, 11/23/2012 - 14:13 | 3006916 geotrader
geotrader's picture

Their contribution is voting for Obama.

Fri, 11/23/2012 - 14:28 | 3006961 Imminent Crucible
Imminent Crucible's picture

What bothers me is that they want what's yours and mine, as well.

And when it's time to call them to the polls again, the government will give it to them.

Fri, 11/23/2012 - 16:53 | 3007281 Parrotile
Parrotile's picture

And if "their choice" of Governmnent doesn't provide what they "want", they may well be inclined to acquire what they want via force. They are American, so there is a very high probability they have access to guns.

Guns and the "Opinionated, Rights - infused idiocracy". An interesting combination don't you think  ?  ?  ?

Fri, 11/23/2012 - 19:41 | 3007625 Imminent Crucible
Imminent Crucible's picture

"Interesting" is not the word I would apply.

Fri, 11/23/2012 - 15:26 | 3007094 A Nanny Moose
A Nanny Moose's picture

Uneducated, unmannered and controlled parts of the population will always act the way they're supposed to.

Perhaps a poorly designed system educated individuals to behave in exactly this manner, by teaching them only force accomplishes anything. The same system that held them captive for 12 years, also educated their parents. Perhaps that system was designed to teach them to be good consumers, lever pullers and, most importantly, soldiers. How fucked up is a system which, teaches none to think, and measures "progress" by bubble test?

Fri, 11/23/2012 - 15:41 | 3007145's picture



Leave an unindented line at the top and paste in quotations below it. It's a good idea to check that the unindented line remains in place after said pasting.

Fri, 11/23/2012 - 16:12 | 3007202 walküre
walküre's picture

Uhm, have you seen the people in the video? Do you honestly think these people went to school and were actually present?

There are stupid people in the world. These people are STUPID. I have livestock that behaves just like these people did. My livestock is classifided as STUPID. You can teach them somewwhat but they sure as heck cannot teach each other (besides what is necessary to survive which is largely based on instincts).

Don't ask me why. It is what it is. I'm just a farmer.

Fri, 11/23/2012 - 16:53 | 3007279 A Nanny Moose
A Nanny Moose's picture

"Do you honestly think these people went to school and were actually present....."

I would offer this is evidence that they did indeed attend. Your premise seems to be that people are only educated by attending forced indoctrination factories for their intended duration. Tell than to people like Ben Franklin, Thomas Edison, Albert Einstein, Charles Dickens, etc.

I would prefer, that we send kids to work for you, on a farm, for the summer. Give them the opportunity to learn how the real world works, rather than learning that the world is a muliple guess quiz, in which the correct answers will always be provided.

There are stupid people in the world. These people are STUPID.

All value is subjective. Government values those who are educated to be obedient to authority.

Fri, 11/23/2012 - 17:01 | 3007300's picture

+1 again.


Once more you forgot to leave an unidented line at the top of your post, Moose. Or have you taken a vow of arrow poverty?

Fri, 11/23/2012 - 17:02 | 3007305 walküre
walküre's picture

Wow, I thought my opinion of the public "education" was low. You are taking the prize. They would absolutely learn a thing or two about how the real world works on my farm. A full week of honest hard shit shoveling kinda work hasn't hurt anyone yet. After that experience they will never want to go back to Walmart for a Black Friday sale on a trinket they don't need.

My farm is a boot camp and you will learn to love the smell of shit in the morning.

Fri, 11/23/2012 - 17:08 | 3007313's picture

Authoritarian much?

It would be interesting to see your ironic simulation of the Stanford Experiment in a rural environment. You could probably make folks suffer real good.

Fri, 11/23/2012 - 19:40 | 3007587 GoinFawr
GoinFawr's picture

a private farm is a business, with an authoritarian heirarchy like any other.  Oh I know, it's always freedom based with  'mutually beneficial agreements for all' and the like; just don't bite the hand that's feeding y'all.

Fri, 11/23/2012 - 19:52 | 3007643's picture

walkure said:


My farm is a boot camp and you will learn to love the smell of shit in the morning.


A boot camp has historically been a place where individuals were sent, often without voluntary consent, to be indoctrinated by militant government employees.


boot camp abuse

About 4,360,000 results
(0.34 seconds)

boot camp death

About 7,460,000 results
(0.34 seconds)

Fri, 11/23/2012 - 20:08 | 3007681 GoinFawr
GoinFawr's picture

ya got me.

Fri, 11/23/2012 - 20:35 | 3007694's picture

Well, it's all for charity anyway....

Fri, 11/23/2012 - 18:07 | 3007431 jimmytorpedo
jimmytorpedo's picture

My cows wait patiently to get fed. S'Truth.

The livestock that gives me the most problems,....honestly?

It's the fuckin' turkeys!

Turkeys are assholes

Anyone who has raised turkeys will back me up 100%, turkeys are dumb mo'fo assholes.

These people obviously are full of asshole turkey.

Fri, 11/23/2012 - 18:38 | 3007495 walküre
walküre's picture

Chickens are summa cum laude graduates compared to turkeys.

Fri, 11/23/2012 - 13:48 | 3006816 ebworthen
ebworthen's picture

God forgive me but I had to go to WalMart yesterday at 4:00 p.m. to get Whipped Cream for the pumpkin pie - only place open in town.

The place was almost empty, other than the shrink wrapped mountains of plastic crap from China in the middle aisles and the yellow "caution" police tape blocking off side aisles, mainly to the frozen food section which has glass doors (so the monkeys don't break the glass).

Planet of the Apes!

Fri, 11/23/2012 - 13:54 | 3006840 akak
akak's picture

"You maniacs! You bought the last $2 towel!  Ah, damn you!
God damn you all to hell!

Fri, 11/23/2012 - 14:12 | 3006911 geotrader
geotrader's picture

The store managers only do as they're told.  They are not given the leeway to think.  They are not paid enough to think.  Higher up management doesn't have to deal with this.

Fri, 11/23/2012 - 16:55 | 3007283 A Nanny Moose
A Nanny Moose's picture

Just like Nazi Germany.

Fri, 11/23/2012 - 17:20 | 3007344 Dr. Sandi
Dr. Sandi's picture

I want some of those Nazi salad shooters that must be left over from that.

Fri, 11/23/2012 - 18:30 | 3007479 I am on to you
I am on to you's picture

Take care, you aint gona be, Obama Droned!


Fri, 11/23/2012 - 13:32 | 3006769 sessinpo
sessinpo's picture

When fascim or any system to game the public came to any society, it was after dumbing down the generations. No one forced people to buy Nike or Smiley tshirts - they were conditioned into it prior.

Fri, 11/23/2012 - 11:32 | 3006350 iDealMeat
iDealMeat's picture

I admit I was part of this last night.  Just because I was curious..  Yes, there was a bunch of bovine waiting for WM to open the cache of trinkets they so desperately wanted..

I walked past them to the sports section near the back grabbed a WM minion and had him open the ammo case where I picked up some nice .22 on sale.. He hurried me through a small check stand in the back because they had to.. He wanted me out of there quick because they had masses of cows to feed at the main registers..


go..  enjoy yourself, and mock them in plain sight. The fat fucks are funny, and get what they deserve..



Fri, 11/23/2012 - 11:51 | 3006439 The Gooch
The Gooch's picture

Some asshole systematically cleaned them out of .308 and 9mm @ the 4 WM's within a stones throw of me. :)

Fri, 11/23/2012 - 12:10 | 3006520 iDealMeat
iDealMeat's picture

Sorry about that..   They're like Twinkies to me..     ;-)


Fri, 11/23/2012 - 12:51 | 3006622's picture

CSP (creamy soft point).

Fri, 11/23/2012 - 14:50 | 3007032 Bad Attitude
Bad Attitude's picture

Mmmm. Ammo.

Fri, 11/23/2012 - 13:06 | 3006679 Debeachesand Je...
Debeachesand Jerseyshores's picture

After watching that video,that "asshole" made the correct decision to buy all that Ammo.

Fri, 11/23/2012 - 14:39 | 3006997 Imminent Crucible
Imminent Crucible's picture

You're paying too much if you're buying your ordnance at WMT.  Try

Much better selection, too.

Fri, 11/23/2012 - 16:40 | 3007171 Money Squid
Money Squid's picture

you can order on line, where everything is tracked, or you can visit your local gun show and pay cash. About four years ago a friend insisted that i go to gun show to see how people buy ammo. I was stunned. A few come and buy a box or two (20 or 50 round box), many have backpacks and buy hundreds of rounds (a large box), but what amazed me was the number of people walking in with small wheeled luggage carriers buying thousands and thousands of rounds. There were many many ammo sellers each with dozens of pallets of ammo and boxes were flying. I can only guess but I am guessing a million rounds were sold in two days. Thousands and thousands of people buying boxes and boxes (not 20 or 50 round boxes, but boxes containing 500, 1000 rounds per box). It was an eye opener. I suggest everyone visit one of these shows to just observe.


PS, for fun I did a few simple calculations. I estimated (I believe conservatively that about 10,000 people went to the show during the two days. To sell 1 million rounds each person would have to by 100 rounds. Not everyone I saw was purchasing ammo, but the vast majority who were were buying in bulk. After rethinking how many people were buying large boxes of pistol ammo (many more rounds per small box as compared to rifle ammo), I increase the value of my guess to several million round of ammo sold (mosly pistol) during a two-day sale.

Fri, 11/23/2012 - 16:42 | 3007259 LFMayor
LFMayor's picture

unless you're coming to buy something, stay the fuck away. All you fat spectators make it hard for me to get my luggage cart through the crowds.

And all this time you've been led to believe that all those redneck preppers are idiots.

Stack on, brothers.

Fri, 11/23/2012 - 22:15 | 3007910 Overfed
Overfed's picture

If you keep your eyes open, you can score even better ammo deals at the gunshows. Every show I've attended in the last year has had at least a couple of table holders with dramatically underpriced (and often not easily visible) ammo. I buy it all whenever I have the $$. But then I lose it during the boat ride home.

Fri, 11/23/2012 - 16:25 | 3007232 Disenchanted
Disenchanted's picture




They aren't waiting long to put their ammo to use:


Shots Fired At Tallahassee WMT

Fri, 11/23/2012 - 13:06 | 3006676 ElvisDog
ElvisDog's picture

I have a serious question - what are you going to do with all that ammo? How and when are you going to use it? Because as soon as you do, you have escalated a situation from which there is no turning back. If you successfully defend you cache of beef-flavored Ramen (or whatever) by shooting someone then you've got a blood-feud on your hands with their friends and relatives. And there is no turning back at that point. Are you ready for that?

There is a scene from the movie "Tombstone" where one of Wyatt's brothers is gearing up to fight the Cowboys. Wyatt is the voice of reason and says something along the lines of "Someone might get shot. And then we'll have Cowboys coming in here from now 'til Christmas".

I guess my point is the threat of having a gun is far more useful than actually using the gun. And to threaten someone with having a gun you don't need vast stores of ammunition, which also serve the purpose of making your survival bunker an even bigger target for the zombies.

Fri, 11/23/2012 - 14:14 | 3006921 EINSILVERGUY

You need the ammo for a long period of time.  A breakdown in society could last for weeks, months or years. You buy with the expectation that you won't be able to buy or make when things are bad. I agree with your logic, but if we do have societal disorder, your last line of defense will be whatever you have to defend your home and family with. If it gets bad people aren't going to care about the repercussions. They are going to react and deal in the moment. I figure if I have to use my carbine, there is no turning back, we will have passed the point of no return.

Fri, 11/23/2012 - 14:19 | 3006940 The Gooch
The Gooch's picture

What shred of DIPLOMACY do you see in that video?

Fri, 11/23/2012 - 14:52 | 3006979 Money Squid
Money Squid's picture

The "preppers" are waiting for doomsday like a wet dream. Reasoned, rationale people realize that there are some bad people out ther and the mob mentality can lead to total devistation. Just look at the behavior of some of the people tyring to buy some junk, not even food. When, yes when, there is a national emergecy, which there has been in the past and there will certainly be in the future, you need to be prepared to ride it out. Review the clips available on youtube showing the behavior of people at the Superdome and how the "police" looted stores, shot unarmed people and began confiscating guns from people who were safe and secure in their homes after Hurricane Katrina, and that was a "local event". Food, water and other basic needs may not be available for weeks, in a worst case scenario maybe months. A gun will not do you any good if you do not have one, have no ammunition, or know how to properly use it. If a reasoned person must load their gun and ready themselves to protect their family then the decision has been made by the ones coming to take your basic necessities and likely kill you in the process. There is only so much ammunition you can reasonably buy, store and use. Don't read too much into the "buy all the ammo you can" posts. Evaluate what you need and buy it. When stored properly the ammo can last three to four decades, maybe logger depending on quality and storage conditions. As hedge against inflation buy when you see a very good price and store it. You can always use it for trade or practice.

The best preparation is to develop close working relationships with your neighbors. Why? tornadoes, major floods, rare snow storms, hurricanes, earthquakes, massive wildfires, tsunami, volcanic eruptions (the modern world has yet to experience a volanic eruption the size of which has frequently occurred in the past. When that happens, all civilization will be tested). People coming together to help people is what makes you stronger.

PS - Due to varios jobs I have had I learned a lot about the massive, complex infrastructure that exists simply to support the major population centers. It is rare that I speak to anyone that understands even the basics concepts of where the water comes from when they turn on the spiggot, how the gasoline gets to the gas station, how the natural gas is wating to cook your food at you gas range, how the electricity is waiting at you at your lilght switch or air conditioner, or where the wastewater goes when you flush the toilet. When I lived in California I read that 20% of the electricity consumed and 30% of the states natural gas is used to move water around the state (from areas where water is plentiful to where water is scarce). No gas, no electricity, no water. Everything is connected. If you live a rural area with water, food, solar and windpower, firewood, gardens, chickens and good neighbors you may not need a gun at all.

Fri, 11/23/2012 - 14:59 | 3007056 Imminent Crucible
Imminent Crucible's picture

Before you decide "how much ammo you need" by just pulling a number out of the air, I would consult with Fernando Aguirre, who lived through the years following the 2001 Argentine government collapse. Robbing, killing, raping and looting went on for a long time, and it was as bad in the countryside as in BA.

And read his blog:

Here's what you don't understand: When a social crisis unfolds, having pistols/revolvers and ammunition on hand is better than having money in the bank, because the banks will be closed. Handguns and ammunition will be highly desirable and extremely sought after, because (1) everyone will be afraid of the lawlessness in the streets and (2) most of them will have neglected to provide themselves with protection when pistols and pistol permits were readily available.

You may never need to point a gun at anyone. Instead, you can swap a S&W .380 and 500 rds for your brother in law's secondhand Jeep. But only if you bought several ahead of time. A small-frame .38SP is easily concealable and will be worth its weight in krugerrands.  Just something to think about.

Fri, 11/23/2012 - 15:34 | 3007120 Money Squid
Money Squid's picture

There is only so much ammo you can need or want. There are limits to everything. I provided no specific numbers but briefly discussed that what you need is based on your location and situation. If limitless ammo is what you have determined you need why are you not writing about buying an Ammoload or Camdex loading machine to crank out tens of thoudands or rounds per day? Or at least some Dillon manual powered reloaders? If you get carried away with "i need more ammo" you are going to overlook very important necessities. You can not shoot your way out of every problem, unless you are Homer Simpson -


PS. I have watched these videos before, and watched the videos and read articles by Dmitry Orlove regarding the collapse of the soviet union. NONE of these vidoes or articles proclaim guns are the solution.

Fri, 11/23/2012 - 19:46 | 3007635 Imminent Crucible
Imminent Crucible's picture

Reading comprehension needs improvement. The ammo becomes money, currency, coin of the realm when TSHTF.

I can tell you didn't read anything by Fernando (FerFAL), because he never goes ANYWHERE without being armed.

Fri, 11/23/2012 - 21:08 | 3007804 Money Squid
Money Squid's picture

Dear Imbicile Crucible - You have demonstrated zero comprehension of anything Fernando, I or anyone else wrote if you incorrectly think that only ammo is used for barter and self defense. Just writing something stupid like "...he never goes ANYWHERE without being armed." Well given your misreading of information on economic collapse, how much ammo is enough? Give a specific number. If all you have is ammo, then sooner or later you will need someting else, like food, toothpaste, toilet paper, and you will have to use ammo for exchange. But, what if someone has what you need and they already have a shit load of ammo and do not want any more? You really do remind me of the cartoon with Homer Simpson at the gun store. Was that based on you?

Oh look a quote from your hero  " A bat and pepper spray will be enough to face an unarmed attacker, most times. I keep one canister of pepper spray and a small bat in my car at all times, apart form the 9mm pistol I may be carrying."  Note.."may be carrying"

Gee looks like he has other items for self defense, not just a mountain of ammo. Go back and read his stuff again.

Sat, 11/24/2012 - 12:08 | 3008410 Imminent Crucible
Imminent Crucible's picture

I see. You're one of those people who always must get in the last word, and compensates by throwing insults like "imbecile" around (It might be more effective if you could spell it properly). I also never said "ONLY AMMO WILL BE USEFUL FOR BARTER OR SELF DEFENSE".  Setting up straw men marks you as a dishonest person.

I'm going to try one more time: You want to know "Exactly how much ammo is enough?"

The answer will necessarily vary between people and circumstances, but it's essentially the same as the answer to "Exactly how much money is enough?"  That's because, if the government topples or the financial system implodes, you will need a LOT of money, and it had better not be in a bank somewhere.

As for FerFAL, his blog entries recommend at least several thousand rounds for each caliber you own. He also says that if he'd known what was coming in 2001, he would have gotten FAR more cash on hand than he had.

Your real problem is that you abhor both the idea of owning a gun, and the thought that you might have to use one. So you dismiss the possibility and make excuses why it wouldn't do any good. A GAK is a very useful tool, but if the SHTF, you don't want to be the only girl who brought a knife to a gun fight.

As for preparedness, I have a gated house high up on a mountainside in the Blue Ridge mtns with its own 30+gpm well, generators and fuel, a jeep 4wd, various calibers of firearms and ammo for each, pepper spray and cs tear gas, respirators, a food storage plan and enough cash to tide me through at least a couple of years, too bad about the stuff that got lost in a boating accident. I also have a bug out location on a lake in TX.

I suspect you've done more talking than preparing. I suggest you go back to FerFAL's site and read his thoughts on crisis survival:



Sat, 11/24/2012 - 13:55 | 3008527 Money Squid
Money Squid's picture

i am too self importnat to worry about spelling correctly for you imbicile. Your quote "The answer will necessarily vary between people and circumstances, but it's essentially the same as the answer to "Exactly how much money is enough?"   Your response is imbicilic as that is exactly what I wrote before, then you questioned the amount. I replied that I did not speciify an amount, but that you needed to consider your conditions. When I asked you to specify an amount all you could do is restate what I originally posted.

fee free to keep responding I have wasted enough time and you are too dim to comprehend.

Fri, 11/23/2012 - 16:20 | 3007222 Jonas Parker
Jonas Parker's picture

"FerFAL's" book, "Surviving the Economic Collapse" covers the 2001 collapse of the Argentine peso, and is one of two "must reads" to get a handle on what's coming. The other book is Fergusson's "When Money Dies", an in-depth study of hyper-inflation in the Weimar Republic. Everyone should own and read both, probably the sooner the better.

Fri, 11/23/2012 - 18:00 | 3007408 Parrotile
Parrotile's picture

If there ever IS a major breakdown in infrastructure (Regional / Global) the main threat to the survivors will not be one they can shoot; rather our "old Enemy" -disease. How many times have we seen news footage of major disease outbreaks after relatively contained disasters? Without reliable safe water supply, enteric (faecal) contamination of the water supply is almost a certainty, and that opens the door to at least Cholera, and also Typhoid, both diseases having a pretty poor reputation in terms of surviveability even with reasonably effective medical care.

Just think what might come to pass -

> No effective infrastructure, so no diagnostic microbiology. Large numbers of dead (maybe in inaccessible locations) - so disseminated foci of putrefaction, and high probability of aquifer contamination (at least in the short term - weeks to months).

> Little or no availability of effective antibiotics, so our main immediate defence has gone.

> Little or no availability of vaccines, so our strategic defence has gone.

> And a large population seeking dwindling essentials - safe water, safe food, effective shelter.

Add in the climatological effects of whatever major event lead to the regional disruption (seismic, volcanic, object impact, or maybe major conflict), and we will sure be living in "Interesting Times"

Fri, 11/23/2012 - 12:34 | 3006589 flattrader
flattrader's picture

If it weren't for Industrial Revenue Bonds, Tax Increment Financing and Tax Abatements and other forms of coporate welfare, Walmart, one of the biggest billion dollar welfare queens of them all would have to get off its' ass and pull its' own weight in the retail world.

We also subsidize their poorly paid employees with state and federal programs.

Fuck Walmart.

Fri, 11/23/2012 - 12:56 | 3006645's picture



We also subsidize their poorly paid employees with state and federal programs.


Wouldn't those employees receive such benefits whether they have a job or not? It's not like their employment adds to the welfare system. And they do provide a productive service which they would not if they stayed at home to collect those government benefits.

Fri, 11/23/2012 - 13:26 | 3006746 flattrader
flattrader's picture

Thanks for making my point for me.

A job at Walmart isn't employment.

It's workfare.

I see the eliites giving you a job as a traffic cop in the great race to the bottom.  I'm sure you'll do a fine job for them.

Fri, 11/23/2012 - 14:37 | 3006964's picture



I see the eliites giving you a job as a traffic cop in the great race to the bottom.  I'm sure you'll do a fine job for them.


If you could cite no error in my post why attempt to defame me personally? What I said is either true or it is not. The elites rely on lies and obfuscation to further their agenda and you are the one who has emulated them it that regard.

Fri, 11/23/2012 - 20:42 | 3007753 Imminent Crucible
Imminent Crucible's picture

Boys, boys---no need to get all acrimonious. We have enough real enemies without chewing on each other. Flattrader is quite correct when he notes that we taxpayers are being forced to subsidize WalMart's payroll costs, and it ain't right. You, Crockett, are also correct when you say that it's better for them to work at something productive than just lay around and collect public assistance.

The problem is that we shouldn't have to help support people so WMT executives can pay themselves bigger bonuses and salaries. The other problem is that America has millions of working-age people who are so poorly educated that they are ill-fitted to any job requiring a high level of literacy and the ability to devise algorithms and solve problems. Look around you, or better yet, look at the people in the Black Friday chaos video. How many of them are going to master calculus and move into the engineering fields? Ain't gonna happen. Most of them can't balance their checkbooks.

I don't like to say it, but there's no way out of this but to rebuild our civilization and society from scratch. And that is the very last thing TPTB want to happen.

Fri, 11/23/2012 - 21:31 | 3007834's picture


I don't like to say it, but there's no way out of this but to rebuild our civilization and society from scratch. And that is the very last thing TPTB want to happen.


That, Mr. Crucible, is the direction in which I have attempted to steer the conversations in this thread but I've made the mistake of trying to reason with individuals who eschew documentation and rational analysis. I never got close. In the future perhaps I'll cut to the chase as you have. If nothing else it's less time consuming.

I would note that even if a free society could come to fruition following a collapse there would still be inexperienced and low skilled workers who would seek and find employment at a wage available to them. There would also continue to be jobs (like Walmart greeter) where a low rate of remuneration will remain standard due to the minimal requirements of the job itself and regardless of the education or skill of the worker. Conditions of employment must depend on the voluntary agreement of employer and employed and this is especially true in a free and sustainable economic system.



Sat, 11/24/2012 - 12:24 | 3008433 Imminent Crucible
Imminent Crucible's picture

Yes, Crockett. Always cut to the chase; if someone just wants to argue, all the carefully reasoned argument in the world will not sate their appetite for it.

We have unemployment, at base, because the government (and their patrons the unions) are constantly interfering in the labor market, setting rates, banning options, closing doors, sending jobs overseas. Unions were necessary, and will be necessary again, but they went far beyond protecting labor to protecting privilege. They became guilds. They paved their own road to hell.

There are people out there who are not worth the $7.25/hr federal minimum wage, pitiful as it is. Some of them are disadvantaged in intelligence or physical capacity. They might be worth $6, and might be willing to work for that, but the government forbids it. Some are just lazy, and their casual pace might be tolerated by an employer for less than $7.25, but it's against the law. Now that prospective employers are facing the ObamaCare Tax, even more millions of Americans will be rejected for jobs, even those paying minimum wage--since PPACA requires the employer to tack at least another $2000 on to the minimum wage. That, or reduce the job to less than 30 hours per week. Unintended consequences, and all that.

Sat, 11/24/2012 - 13:47 | 3008520's picture



Yes, Crockett. Always cut to the chase; if someone just wants to argue, all the carefully reasoned argument in the world will not sate their appetite for it.


Good advice. And so I offer this:


Bullitt Car Chase

Fri, 11/23/2012 - 13:28 | 3006750 Whoa Dammit
Whoa Dammit's picture

Having a job should mean that one has the ability from ones wages to support oneself. It should not mean that wages are kept low and hours are kept to 23 per week or less so that a single family can garner more than the combined wealth of the lowest 40% of the popluation.

Fri, 11/23/2012 - 14:36 | 3006980's picture

A job is a voluntary contract between two or more parties. Millions of workers go to work everyday by such arrangements without consulting you or agreeing to your terms on their employment. Are you suggesting that unskilled workers should deny themselves paychecks and job experience? How does suggesting that marginal employees should become unemployed altogether make you a decent and caring person?

Fri, 11/23/2012 - 14:50 | 3007033 Whoa Dammit
Whoa Dammit's picture

Oh please stop it with your work is a voluntary contract crap, as if one poor person can make a big difference when playing against the megacorp stacked deck.  Incidentally that stacked deck is funded by an involuntary taxpayer enabled backroom deals between lawmakers and megacorps. 

Fri, 11/23/2012 - 15:43 | 3007041's picture

What is your solution to the problem you discern? Does it require that a third party (such as government) be called upon in order to intervene?

Fri, 11/23/2012 - 16:26 | 3007234 Jonas Parker
Jonas Parker's picture

What is your solution to the problem you discern? Does it require that a third party (such as government) be called upon in order to intervene?


BINGO! You hit his argument right on the head... Another lib unmasked on Zero Hedge!

Fri, 11/23/2012 - 17:10 | 3007306's picture

We'll wait for his answer to be sure.

Fri, 11/23/2012 - 11:02 | 3006244 prains
prains's picture

ZOMBIFICATION armed and hungry, good luck to all

Fri, 11/23/2012 - 11:07 | 3006262 The Limerick King
The Limerick King's picture



I just got a really good deal

The discount was simply a steal

Some guy on my right

Then started a fight

My legs I can no longer feel

Fri, 11/23/2012 - 11:34 | 3006338 Savvy
Savvy's picture



I tried to beat me a trail

to where cell phones were on sale

with elbow and fist

did I bravely persist

But buy then the software was stale

Fri, 11/23/2012 - 11:40 | 3006390 Savvy
Savvy's picture

For a week i lived in a tent

intending to save every cent

It ain't what I need

It's only greed

But by golly I saved on what I spent

Fri, 11/23/2012 - 11:51 | 3006440 The Limerick King
The Limerick King's picture

Good one! Everyone join the limerick thread on this pathetic state of affairs...


The Black Friday deals have begun

The shoppers are out by the ton

Punches and chokes

From ordinary folks

Next time I am bringing a gun!

Fri, 11/23/2012 - 12:53 | 3006634 mudduck
mudduck's picture


Fri, 11/23/2012 - 14:04 | 3006716 SeattleBruce
SeattleBruce's picture

Haven't been up this early since last year.

I'm getting crushed, but not to fear.

I've put on 50 more pounds,

So they'll have to call off their hounds.

I live for this crappy Chinese stuff

Seems like I can never get enough!

What's that, another special next aisle ova?

Outta my way, or you're going down like grass in a mowa.


Fri, 11/23/2012 - 13:32 | 3006770 brewing
brewing's picture

the only time i really lol is from a limerick from the king...

Fri, 11/23/2012 - 16:11 | 3007200 ali-ali-al-qomfri
ali-ali-al-qomfri's picture

Ali enjoys The Limmerick King

His wit and knowledge do sing

The songs of despair

Fists flyin’ in air

Please keep on doin’ your thing

Fri, 11/23/2012 - 18:21 | 3007461 jimmytorpedo
jimmytorpedo's picture

I am the man from Nantucket.

Fri, 11/23/2012 - 12:01 | 3006473 Savvy
Savvy's picture

Well armed with a Payday loan

I went in search of a phone

It's not what I need

And designed by a Swede

But no matter, it's what i must own



Fri, 11/23/2012 - 12:10 | 3006503 prains
prains's picture

I'm too stupid to rhyme

brotha can you spare me a dime

just think of it as a loan


by the way can I use your phone

Fri, 11/23/2012 - 12:11 | 3006524 The Limerick King
The Limerick King's picture

A good rhyme prains...


Walmart was having a sale

A bargain I thought I could nail

But once in the store

I was knocked to the floor

By a woman the size of a whale

Fri, 11/23/2012 - 12:21 | 3006543 prains
prains's picture

my transvaginal mesh has failed me

but my million dollar bonus I got for free

just a few more muppets in the door

the starved, hungry and poor

and it's retire to the caymans for me



Fri, 11/23/2012 - 13:25 | 3006739's picture




The man with the charity kettle,
Still survives though it tested his mettle,
When the shoppers, en masse,
Would not yield or pass,
They showed him for slugs he must settle.




Fri, 11/23/2012 - 12:24 | 3006552 The Limerick King
The Limerick King's picture



Walmart has something we "need"

To get it we're willing to bleed

The stampeding masses

Are out kicking asses

Our downfall is now guaranteed

Fri, 11/23/2012 - 12:34 | 3006592 prains
prains's picture

fourteen tons of poor

came charging through the door

the smell of cheap phones

made the zombies foam

armpits, asses, sweaty crotches

couldn't knock them to the floor


Fri, 11/23/2012 - 12:47 | 3006616 Dubious Maximus
Dubious Maximus's picture

The Christmas shopping madness has begun

Swinging fists, bloody noses all in fun

Better uses for my time

Such as writing this rhyme

And for fun later I'll clean my gun

Fri, 11/23/2012 - 14:52 | 3007020 DaveyJones
DaveyJones's picture

the key to a retail giant

is shoppers and workers compliant

don't give them a slap

keep selling them crap

and they'll never become defiant


Fri, 11/23/2012 - 15:50 | 3007109 The Limerick King
The Limerick King's picture



I've just read some excellent verse

On the US comsumerist curse

We're willing to die

To get a good buy

The next must-have gadget?... a hearse!

Fri, 11/23/2012 - 17:24 | 3007353 DaveyJones
DaveyJones's picture

your limerick went off like a bell

and I thought 911 was hell

now it's "plane" as can as be

why didn't I see

that death is the best thing we sell

Fri, 11/23/2012 - 13:00 | 3006656 mudduck
mudduck's picture

Waiting in line at wallmart. I figured I'd have me a fart. I'm sorry to say, it was kind of a spray. Now I understand shart.               

Fri, 11/23/2012 - 14:52 | 3007037 DaveyJones
DaveyJones's picture

Walmart has something we need

some swear it's better than weed

but if it's so great

then how come my mate

the sales make most of us bleed


Sat, 11/24/2012 - 22:48 | 3007090 DaveyJones
DaveyJones's picture

I think it was the isle of cheeses

that produced this bruise and these wheezes

but of ways this was best


to celebrate the life of Jesus


Fri, 11/23/2012 - 12:54 | 3006639 Savvy
Savvy's picture

That i hate to shop is a fact

and those who love to are whacked

so I have no doubt

that shopping's about

a financial intelligence subtract.

Fri, 11/23/2012 - 13:33 | 3006776 FrankDrakman
FrankDrakman's picture

F*uck limericks. Shopping haiku:

Hungry herds rush in

All that exists abounds yet

Empty bellies leave.

Fri, 11/23/2012 - 13:42 | 3006799 Savvy
Savvy's picture

The bargain zombie,

today, what place have they got to

 I fear...

Fri, 11/23/2012 - 11:08 | 3006267 nugjuice
nugjuice's picture

I resent the fact the video has "white people act like animals" in the title. The (insert other race here) people in the video are just as pathetic. There are idiots in every race

Fri, 11/23/2012 - 14:51 | 3006591 onelight
onelight's picture

It's the emerging, transracial Idiot Collective, in all its glory...the Booboisie...HL Mencken would say it better, but there it is...

Fri, 11/23/2012 - 11:11 | 3006273 TBT or not TBT
TBT or not TBT's picture

Nah, this is just, like a rave is to people who go for that.   It's an event.   It's a competition.   It's a super-normal experience.     I'm not angry at them.  

I AM angry at the control freaks in the federal government who gave us a food and nutrition education program that has made people so ill.    I guess the Walmars remove the cattle chute of cheap carbs laced with cheap vegetable oils that guide consumers into and out of their stores, for this one occasion, and that's another good thing.

Fri, 11/23/2012 - 11:25 | 3006315 aint no fortuna...
aint no fortunate son's picture

I'm sooooooo proud to be an american today

Fri, 11/23/2012 - 11:41 | 3006393 tsx500
tsx500's picture

Me too !   FOWARD !

Fri, 11/23/2012 - 14:44 | 3007016 LooseLee
LooseLee's picture

The only thing these 'American Idiots' are armed with is 'Stupidity'. They will be like picking off fish in a barrell. Lets hope 'most' armed Americans aren't of this type or we are all doomed...

Fri, 11/23/2012 - 14:55 | 3007042 onelight
onelight's picture

Maybe it's always been a zoo and the Walmart model simply allows it to be aggregated for the cameras, and the messaging implied...that said, you have a point about what it means for a vibrant society to have so many morons.

Fri, 11/23/2012 - 16:52 | 3007277 oldman
oldman's picture


Maybe they are not pretty of graceful,


they are the leaders of the new AMERIKAN REVOLUTION

Please show some respect       om  

Fri, 11/23/2012 - 11:47 | 3006421 route40misery
route40misery's picture

That was fantastic!!!

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