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Eurogroup Talks Stalled By Massive #DIV/0! Problem

Tyler Durden's picture


We can only imagine the HP-12C buttons being ripped from their almost-extinct cases as we are faced with this beauty of a Bloomberg headline:


No matter how many times you divide by zero haircuts or zero growth - the number still comes out the same - 'unsustainable'.

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Mon, 11/26/2012 - 12:05 | 3011329 slaughterer
slaughterer's picture

Get the quick mathematicians in from McKinsey during the hors'd'oeuvre hour.  The Nomenklatura need to stuff their faces with caviar, lobster and White Alba truffles.  

Mon, 11/26/2012 - 12:32 | 3011444 TheFourthStooge-ing
TheFourthStooge-ing's picture

if ($denominator eq '0') {

    print "Kick the Can!\n";
    exit (0);


Problem solved, Greece saved.

Mon, 11/26/2012 - 13:18 | 3011636 WhiteNight123129
WhiteNight123129's picture


I have tried the lines of code above in my Gold-Borland monetary programming environment but it returns the following answer, what shall I do?

Error E2141 GOLDbcll.cpp 5: E1146 Invalid initializer for integer data type

*** 1 errors in Compile ***

I think it comes from the declartaion of the data type variable $denominator....



Mon, 11/26/2012 - 13:39 | 3011707 TheFourthStooge-ing
TheFourthStooge-ing's picture


I think it comes from the declartaion of the data type variable $denominator....

use Perl::Obfuscate;   #need you ask why?

Mon, 11/26/2012 - 14:27 | 3011910 OneTinSoldier66
OneTinSoldier66's picture

If I were writing in C, with a Goldman now at the head of the BoE, the last couple of lines of the program would be...


printf("Password confirmed. Div by 0 for paper money to infinity for Goldman Illuminati only... approved.\n);



If I knew how to program that is. Believe me, I don't. But I couldb't help but want to jump in on the fun here so I went out and looked up "Hello.c"

Mon, 11/26/2012 - 14:32 | 3011932 TheFourthStooge-ing
TheFourthStooge-ing's picture

You need a closing quote before the closing parenthesis, but it's a good start. At the very least, it would confound the SEC.

Mon, 11/26/2012 - 15:43 | 3012144 OneTinSoldier66
OneTinSoldier66's picture

Yep, missed the quote. I didn't intend to leave it out, just a typo. I make many. But thank you for helping me to correct the code! Cheers

Mon, 11/26/2012 - 12:06 | 3011332 EscapeKey
EscapeKey's picture

Divide by zero?

What were they doing? Calculating Greece's debt/GDP ratio?

Mon, 11/26/2012 - 13:07 | 3011601 Dareconomics
Dareconomics's picture

Good stuff Escape Key. Also liked your Shapiro comment.

Mon, 11/26/2012 - 12:10 | 3011333 Orly
Orly's picture

Asymptote, bitchez!

Mon, 11/26/2012 - 12:07 | 3011334 unrulian
unrulian's picture

BJ break

Mon, 11/26/2012 - 12:12 | 3011337 SheepDog-One
SheepDog-One's picture

Stupid damn abacus! I said divide 10^7 X0!! WTF is wrong with this thing!

Call in another Goldmanite! You know...the 'chosen ones'!

What a #fucked world.

Mon, 11/26/2012 - 12:18 | 3011348 Rainman
Rainman's picture

It'll take a little more than an hour to make a silk purse out of a sow's ear. They try it anyway. 

Mon, 11/26/2012 - 23:49 | 3013438 StychoKiller
StychoKiller's picture

Ye olde ENIAC didn't have a very fast clock speed...

Mon, 11/26/2012 - 12:12 | 3011361 Mr Lennon Hendrix
Mr Lennon Hendrix's picture

Maybe they can create a new number system.

Mon, 11/26/2012 - 14:30 | 3011924 OneTinSoldier66
OneTinSoldier66's picture

They already have. They call it Quantitative Easing. At least so far that's what they call it.

Mon, 11/26/2012 - 12:12 | 3011362 Glass Seagull
Glass Seagull's picture

Reverse Polish Notation:  tricky-tricky.

Mon, 11/26/2012 - 12:21 | 3011403 SpanishGoop
SpanishGoop's picture

Even worse, reverse Greek notation.

= +GDP --Debt

Mon, 11/26/2012 - 12:13 | 3011363 The Reich
The Reich's picture

Let me introduce 1mag1nary num3€rs to you.

Mon, 11/26/2012 - 12:15 | 3011372 Satan
Satan's picture

If you type 3518008 into the calculator and hold it upside down it spells boobies.

Mon, 11/26/2012 - 12:18 | 3011389 Orly
Orly's picture

Grammar cop says, "Ermm...no!"


Get it straight!


Mon, 11/26/2012 - 12:55 | 3011536 Satan
Satan's picture

Yes but our European calculators work different!
My one was made by Fisher Price and has pictures of mermaids on it.

Mon, 11/26/2012 - 13:14 | 3011619 Jim in MN
Jim in MN's picture

In Hebrew, while calculator is right side up, 71070 spells [crazy gibberish letters]  (sarsur, "pimp")



Mon, 11/26/2012 - 13:36 | 3011699 debtor of last ...
debtor of last resort's picture

When you type the exact number of Greek debt in million euro's is says


Mon, 11/26/2012 - 12:18 | 3011387 Conman
Conman's picture

Technical issues. Same as before. Always a technical issue thats causing europe's problems. Never a solvency problem.

Mon, 11/26/2012 - 12:19 | 3011390 CrashisOptimistic
CrashisOptimistic's picture

Whatever happened to the teleconference that was to happen this past weekend to prepare for today's mtg?  Weren't the calculations done then?

Mon, 11/26/2012 - 12:19 | 3011395 FLUSA.com
FLUSA.com's picture

Just remove the formula from the cell and put in the number you want....problem solved

Mon, 11/26/2012 - 12:28 | 3011427 Non Passaran
Non Passaran's picture

Wonderful, the next thing you know they'll win Nobel Prize for Economics in 2013!

What a group of absolutely outstanding leaders!

Mon, 11/26/2012 - 12:19 | 3011396 vinayjha
vinayjha's picture

and the meeting continue in 2050. no deal yet.


Mon, 11/26/2012 - 12:23 | 3011410 JasperNewtonDaniel
JasperNewtonDaniel's picture

Error 0

Mon, 11/26/2012 - 12:29 | 3011414 Sanksion
Sanksion's picture

They need to call every IPCC's Ph.D to generate the best model to trick the assumptions and datas in the expected fashion required to avoid the hard time when one realises that he fucked himself and the most wealthiest countries in the world into the quarter world.

Mon, 11/26/2012 - 12:25 | 3011419 JasperNewtonDaniel
JasperNewtonDaniel's picture

[RCL] [PV] 0

Mon, 11/26/2012 - 13:05 | 3011592 Honey Badger
Honey Badger's picture

Eurogroup's car has left the reality highway.  GPS device says, "recalculating."

Mon, 11/26/2012 - 13:08 | 3011605 boribori
boribori's picture

5318008 not 3518008.

Mon, 11/26/2012 - 13:10 | 3011611 Jim in MN
Jim in MN's picture

They are gonna regret this.

Mon, 11/26/2012 - 13:29 | 3011673 edifice
edifice's picture

Nonsnsense, dividing by zero yields: Unicorns and Pixie Dust.

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