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Eurogroup Talks Stalled By Massive #DIV/0! Problem

Tyler Durden's picture





 

We can only imagine the HP-12C buttons being ripped from their almost-extinct cases as we are faced with this beauty of a Bloomberg headline:

  • *EUROGROUP PAUSES FOR AN HOUR FOR CALCULATIONS, EU OFFICIAL SAYS

No matter how many times you divide by zero haircuts or zero growth - the number still comes out the same - 'unsustainable'.

 


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Mon, 11/26/2012 - 12:05 | Link to Comment slaughterer
slaughterer's picture

Get the quick mathematicians in from McKinsey during the hors'd'oeuvre hour.  The Nomenklatura need to stuff their faces with caviar, lobster and White Alba truffles.  

Mon, 11/26/2012 - 12:32 | Link to Comment TheFourthStooge-ing
TheFourthStooge-ing's picture

if ($denominator eq '0') {

    print "Kick the Can!\n";
    exit (0);

}

Problem solved, Greece saved.

Mon, 11/26/2012 - 13:18 | Link to Comment WhiteNight123129
WhiteNight123129's picture

MONETARY GEEK BLOG DEBUG>

I have tried the lines of code above in my Gold-Borland monetary programming environment but it returns the following answer, what shall I do?

Error E2141 GOLDbcll.cpp 5: E1146 Invalid initializer for integer data type

*** 1 errors in Compile ***

I think it comes from the declartaion of the data type variable $denominator....

 

 

Mon, 11/26/2012 - 13:39 | Link to Comment TheFourthStooge-ing
TheFourthStooge-ing's picture

.

I think it comes from the declartaion of the data type variable $denominator....

use Perl::Obfuscate;   #need you ask why?

Mon, 11/26/2012 - 14:27 | Link to Comment OneTinSoldier66
OneTinSoldier66's picture

If I were writing in C, with a Goldman now at the head of the BoE, the last couple of lines of the program would be...

 

printf("Password confirmed. Div by 0 for paper money to infinity for Goldman Illuminati only... approved.\n);

return EXIT_SUCCESS;

 

If I knew how to program that is. Believe me, I don't. But I couldb't help but want to jump in on the fun here so I went out and looked up "Hello.c"

Mon, 11/26/2012 - 14:32 | Link to Comment TheFourthStooge-ing
TheFourthStooge-ing's picture

You need a closing quote before the closing parenthesis, but it's a good start. At the very least, it would confound the SEC.

Mon, 11/26/2012 - 15:43 | Link to Comment OneTinSoldier66
OneTinSoldier66's picture

Yep, missed the quote. I didn't intend to leave it out, just a typo. I make many. But thank you for helping me to correct the code! Cheers

Mon, 11/26/2012 - 12:06 | Link to Comment EscapeKey
EscapeKey's picture

Divide by zero?

What were they doing? Calculating Greece's debt/GDP ratio?

Mon, 11/26/2012 - 13:07 | Link to Comment Dareconomics
Dareconomics's picture

Good stuff Escape Key. Also liked your Shapiro comment.

Mon, 11/26/2012 - 12:10 | Link to Comment Orly
Orly's picture

Asymptote, bitchez!

Mon, 11/26/2012 - 12:07 | Link to Comment unrulian
unrulian's picture

BJ break

Mon, 11/26/2012 - 12:12 | Link to Comment SheepDog-One
SheepDog-One's picture

Stupid damn abacus! I said divide 10^7 X0!! WTF is wrong with this thing!

Call in another Goldmanite! You know...the 'chosen ones'!

What a #fucked world.

Mon, 11/26/2012 - 12:18 | Link to Comment Rainman
Rainman's picture

It'll take a little more than an hour to make a silk purse out of a sow's ear. They try it anyway. 

Mon, 11/26/2012 - 23:49 | Link to Comment StychoKiller
StychoKiller's picture

Ye olde ENIAC didn't have a very fast clock speed...

Mon, 11/26/2012 - 12:12 | Link to Comment Mr Lennon Hendrix
Mr Lennon Hendrix's picture

Maybe they can create a new number system.

Mon, 11/26/2012 - 14:30 | Link to Comment OneTinSoldier66
OneTinSoldier66's picture

They already have. They call it Quantitative Easing. At least so far that's what they call it.

Mon, 11/26/2012 - 12:12 | Link to Comment Glass Seagull
Glass Seagull's picture

Reverse Polish Notation:  tricky-tricky.

Mon, 11/26/2012 - 12:21 | Link to Comment SpanishGoop
SpanishGoop's picture

Even worse, reverse Greek notation.

= +GDP --Debt

Mon, 11/26/2012 - 12:13 | Link to Comment The Reich
The Reich's picture

Let me introduce 1mag1nary num3€rs to you.

Mon, 11/26/2012 - 12:15 | Link to Comment Satan
Satan's picture

If you type 3518008 into the calculator and hold it upside down it spells boobies.

Mon, 11/26/2012 - 12:18 | Link to Comment Orly
Orly's picture

Grammar cop says, "Ermm...no!"

5318008

Get it straight!

:0

Mon, 11/26/2012 - 12:55 | Link to Comment Satan
Satan's picture

Yes but our European calculators work different!
My one was made by Fisher Price and has pictures of mermaids on it.

Mon, 11/26/2012 - 13:14 | Link to Comment Jim in MN
Jim in MN's picture

In Hebrew, while calculator is right side up, 71070 spells [crazy gibberish letters]  (sarsur, "pimp")

 

--Wikithang

Mon, 11/26/2012 - 13:36 | Link to Comment debtor of last ...
debtor of last resort's picture

When you type the exact number of Greek debt in million euro's is says

BLANKFEIN

Mon, 11/26/2012 - 12:18 | Link to Comment Conman
Conman's picture

Technical issues. Same as before. Always a technical issue thats causing europe's problems. Never a solvency problem.

Mon, 11/26/2012 - 12:19 | Link to Comment CrashisOptimistic
CrashisOptimistic's picture

Whatever happened to the teleconference that was to happen this past weekend to prepare for today's mtg?  Weren't the calculations done then?

Mon, 11/26/2012 - 12:19 | Link to Comment FLUSA.com
FLUSA.com's picture

Just remove the formula from the cell and put in the number you want....problem solved

Mon, 11/26/2012 - 12:28 | Link to Comment Non Passaran
Non Passaran's picture

Wonderful, the next thing you know they'll win Nobel Prize for Economics in 2013!

What a group of absolutely outstanding leaders!

Mon, 11/26/2012 - 12:19 | Link to Comment vinayjha
vinayjha's picture

and the meeting continue in 2050. no deal yet.

http://www.freefdawatchlist.com

Mon, 11/26/2012 - 12:23 | Link to Comment JasperNewtonDaniel
JasperNewtonDaniel's picture

Error 0

Mon, 11/26/2012 - 12:29 | Link to Comment Sanksion
Sanksion's picture

They need to call every IPCC's Ph.D to generate the best model to trick the assumptions and datas in the expected fashion required to avoid the hard time when one realises that he fucked himself and the most wealthiest countries in the world into the quarter world.

Mon, 11/26/2012 - 12:25 | Link to Comment JasperNewtonDaniel
JasperNewtonDaniel's picture

[RCL] [PV] 0

Mon, 11/26/2012 - 13:05 | Link to Comment Honey Badger
Honey Badger's picture

Eurogroup's car has left the reality highway.  GPS device says, "recalculating."

Mon, 11/26/2012 - 13:08 | Link to Comment boribori
boribori's picture

5318008 not 3518008.

Mon, 11/26/2012 - 13:10 | Link to Comment Jim in MN
Jim in MN's picture

They are gonna regret this.

Mon, 11/26/2012 - 13:29 | Link to Comment edifice
edifice's picture

Nonsnsense, dividing by zero yields: Unicorns and Pixie Dust.

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