Boehner Arouses Market As Reid Beatdown Forgotten

Tyler Durden's picture

Just 12 days ago (before the cone of silence began), we saw the beginning of the Boehner bounce as the speaker spaketh and the market obeyeth. Headline-chasing algos know only one thing it appears, when Democrats speak, sell; when Republicans speak, buy... oh how we love these efficient markets...

It seems someone somewhere was desperate to see a Green day...


and as we pointed out two weeks ago (before the cone of silence)...


Charts: Bloomberg

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walidsassia's picture

Disfunctional markets, any move down , we have a Jaw-boning intervention send it up, while nothing being resolved, keep emmazed how the timing can not be more perfect 

TruthInSunshine's picture

 Ask your doctor about Cialis.*


*If you notice a Boehner speaking for more than 4 seconds and sending algos into a devoid-of-all-human-logic-based-purely-on-machine-learning excited, titilating, engorged frenzy, pull your Muppet Meat out of the gory hole, stop trading if you've been still daring, and contact SAC Capital or Goldman Sachs and ask to speak to Dr. Gilman or Dr. Stolper.

john39's picture

seems to me that the bonner jawbonning was just the cover for the ramp job by the FED...    but, what does it matter really, none of it is real.

TruthInSunshine's picture

It could be the old "Ouch, my Hairy Reed," "Ouch, my Boehner" frontrunning scam, too.

That's sooo typical.

Frastric's picture

Market... boner...

Just waiting until it goes soft again...

TruthInSunshine's picture

 "Harry Reed seen slapping Boehner down." "Boehner & Hairy Reed inch closer?"

Can't ask for much better fodder for the juvenile headlines.

AlaricBalth's picture

I would venture to guess that 10 minutes before stepping to the podium Boehner was on the phone to his broker buying SPX calls for a quick trade.

scatterbrains's picture

Gold didn't spike so not sure the nyfed jumped in this time..  gold's calling bullshit on the spike.. so far.

slaughterer's picture

Can't believe the sheeple are letting themselves be held hostage by this blatant statist thuggery.  

StychoKiller's picture

The Ignorati voters once bought, unlike Politicians, STAY BOUGHT!

Stoploss's picture

Boehner? Or, Bill Auctions.

See, if they don't throw in the Boehner, before the auction, it's too obvious.

Were not going to let a 100 point swing just slide by on no news, so, throw in the Boehner for the smoke screen.

Golden_Rule's picture

Thats my thoughts as well.  The news no longer moves the market, instead the market moves and the news must justify it.

reddragonleo's picture

The "timing" is always perfect as the market is 100% controled and rigged in favor of the "fantasy" that "everything is OK"... instead of the reality that the Dow should be trading around 3,000-4,000 (but only in a real world of course)

bigdumbnugly's picture

dr jekyll and mr hyde

or two mr hyde's?

Boilermaker's picture



aint no fortunate son's picture

algos have to be programmed for this shit - so TPTB know in advance when the puppets are about to speak and they place their "bets" accordingly... this was no doubt all set up between the FED and JPM etal before the market even opened, probably choreographed to squeeze the shorts on what they knew would be shitty housing data... did anybody happen to notice what EURUSD did at exactly 10:00 a.m.?

Boilermaker's picture

Nah, the SEC protects against such bullshit.  It could never happen.

Bay of Pigs's picture

Shapiro taking her cut on the way out.


NotApplicable's picture

Yeah, that's just pure crazy talk. Where do people get such ideas?

SmoothCoolSmoke's picture

God...we are like Greece.

slaughterer's picture

Greece was just the warm up to the USA.  

ptoemmes's picture

Yes...Ireland, Portugal, Spain, Italy,...,the whole effin EU.

WB7 can just recycle his collection of EU work and paste the faces of Reid, Boehner, Obama, Geithner, ect...

slaughterer's picture

We will be talking about ES 1385 as the bottom of "Boehner's boner" for a few more days.  

dvsteenk's picture

perhaps they will stop calling him Senator Bainer after all

freedogger's picture

The response seems limper as the days go buy...

dracos_ghost's picture

We should turn these "efficient" markets into Rock-Paper-Scissors. At least there would be fundamentals.

txsilverbug's picture

Just need Bernanke to keep his fucking mouth closed..

aint no fortunate son's picture

it's not his mouth that needs shutting, it's that brand new super high speed fiber optic line between Liberty, NYC, and Dearborn Street, Chicago

WhyDoesItHurtWhen iPee's picture

Hmmmm ....what can one say unto a vegetable algo. 

Conman's picture

Y u no like efficient markets?

BlueCollaredOne's picture

One does not simply

trust the markets anymore.

buzzsaw99's picture

that those two asshats can move the squiggly line proves there is no market. headline: obama farts, market up 1%

walidsassia's picture

Last Time when Boehner spoke the market Rose 70 ES point , we could hit new highs after that speech. 

ak_khanna's picture

The stock, commodity and currency exchanges have been reduced to gambling dens whereby the more powerful traders with deep pockets move the markets to maximize their own profits at the expense of the remaining not so powerful players. The big boys have enormous money power to move the markets in the direction which results in maximum profits for themselves. They effectively use the media to lure the other players in the market to a position where they would incur maximum loss.
The markets will fall only when the banksters have eliminated all the short positions and only they themselves have positioned themselves to profit when the market falls
When an unexpected world event catches the banksters with their pants down and the softwares they use to rig the markets go berserk beyond their control.

dvsteenk's picture

From the above link: notional value of derivatives, $244 trillion is roughly four times world GDP... of which $229 trillion is held by four banks. Hallucinating!

"According to the executive summary of the quarterly report Q1/11 issued by the Office of the Comptroller of the Currency, the notional value of the derivatives held by the commercial banks at the end of the first quarter of 2011 was $244 trillion out of which $229 trillion were held by just four banks namely, J.P.Morgan, Citigroup, Bank of America and Goldman Sachs ( To get an idea of the derivative market size, the gross domestic product (GDP) of the global economy in 2010 was in the range of $63 trillion."

shovelhead's picture


All these bets are covered.

What could go wrong?

slaughterer's picture

WTI: psycho, as usual.  

Boilermaker's picture

The entire citizenry is completely captured and held by the short-and-curlies by the value of common equities.

Fucking wonderful.

forwardho's picture

B, "value of common equities" Sir, I find that statement to be oxymoronic.

Dollar Bill Hiccup's picture

MANIA, miniaturized.

The rumor bubbles come, the rumor bubbles go, speaking of Michelangelo ...

Kaiser Sousa's picture

hey thats strange...

the dow has reversed all loses....

But not Gold and Silver....

i dont get it.......


ps: gonna see my dealer as soon as he opens.......

slaughterer's picture

Rumor is that Paulson reduced PM exposure for redemptions this morning,.  

NotApplicable's picture

What kind of stupid fund managers actually allow redemptions?

Tsar Pointless's picture

Thankfully for TPTB, only a handful of us are even paying attention.

Even less than that care.

Count me in the first category. I gave up caring a long time ago.

So, what is today? White Wednesday? Should I be standing in line somewhere or online buying something right now?

Perhaps stocks? Or a new house? I heard that stocks are a good bargain here, and that there has never been a better time to purchase a new home.

A person who is dependent upon other people spending their money in order to earn theirs wouldn't ever lie to me, now would they?

Kaiser Sousa's picture


Just buy Physical Gold and Silver and watch the ungoing cartoon which is this country....

Tsar Pointless's picture

Wow. A reply from a Kaiser. I am one blessed Tsar.

A pointlessly blessed Tsar, but a blessed Tsar nonetheless.

A cartoon country. I'm thinking either "Bloom County" or "The Far Side".

Kaiser Sousa's picture

'A reply from a Kaiser. I am one blessed Tsar...."

you deserved go forth and multiply....

forwardho's picture

Skynet fully operational at this point. Since the market has no connection to production, (or reallity for that matter) Humans have become expensive liability. The decision was made in a nanosecond.