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Boehner Arouses Market As Reid Beatdown Forgotten

Tyler Durden's picture


Just 12 days ago (before the cone of silence began), we saw the beginning of the Boehner bounce as the speaker spaketh and the market obeyeth. Headline-chasing algos know only one thing it appears, when Democrats speak, sell; when Republicans speak, buy... oh how we love these efficient markets...

It seems someone somewhere was desperate to see a Green day...


and as we pointed out two weeks ago (before the cone of silence)...


Charts: Bloomberg


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Wed, 11/28/2012 - 11:52 | 3017506 walidsassia
walidsassia's picture

Disfunctional markets, any move down , we have a Jaw-boning intervention send it up, while nothing being resolved, keep emmazed how the timing can not be more perfect 

Wed, 11/28/2012 - 12:03 | 3017540 TruthInSunshine
TruthInSunshine's picture

 Ask your doctor about Cialis.*


*If you notice a Boehner speaking for more than 4 seconds and sending algos into a devoid-of-all-human-logic-based-purely-on-machine-learning excited, titilating, engorged frenzy, pull your Muppet Meat out of the gory hole, stop trading if you've been still daring, and contact SAC Capital or Goldman Sachs and ask to speak to Dr. Gilman or Dr. Stolper.

Wed, 11/28/2012 - 12:08 | 3017569 john39
john39's picture

seems to me that the bonner jawbonning was just the cover for the ramp job by the FED...    but, what does it matter really, none of it is real.

Wed, 11/28/2012 - 12:10 | 3017577 TruthInSunshine
TruthInSunshine's picture

It could be the old "Ouch, my Hairy Reed," "Ouch, my Boehner" frontrunning scam, too.

That's sooo typical.

Wed, 11/28/2012 - 12:17 | 3017593 Frastric
Frastric's picture

Market... boner...

Just waiting until it goes soft again...

Wed, 11/28/2012 - 12:34 | 3017601 TruthInSunshine
TruthInSunshine's picture

 "Harry Reed seen slapping Boehner down." "Boehner & Hairy Reed inch closer?"

Can't ask for much better fodder for the juvenile headlines.

Wed, 11/28/2012 - 12:19 | 3017606 AlaricBalth
AlaricBalth's picture

I would venture to guess that 10 minutes before stepping to the podium Boehner was on the phone to his broker buying SPX calls for a quick trade.

Wed, 11/28/2012 - 12:38 | 3017660 Boilermaker
Boilermaker's picture

Golly...ya think?

Wed, 11/28/2012 - 12:55 | 3017688 scatterbrains
scatterbrains's picture

Gold didn't spike so not sure the nyfed jumped in this time..  gold's calling bullshit on the spike.. so far.

Wed, 11/28/2012 - 12:14 | 3017585 slaughterer
slaughterer's picture

Can't believe the sheeple are letting themselves be held hostage by this blatant statist thuggery.  

Wed, 11/28/2012 - 19:37 | 3018890 StychoKiller
StychoKiller's picture

The Ignorati voters once bought, unlike Politicians, STAY BOUGHT!

Wed, 11/28/2012 - 13:02 | 3017708 Stoploss
Stoploss's picture

Boehner? Or, Bill Auctions.

See, if they don't throw in the Boehner, before the auction, it's too obvious.

Were not going to let a 100 point swing just slide by on no news, so, throw in the Boehner for the smoke screen.

Wed, 11/28/2012 - 15:00 | 3018083 Golden_Rule
Golden_Rule's picture

Thats my thoughts as well.  The news no longer moves the market, instead the market moves and the news must justify it.

Wed, 11/28/2012 - 16:09 | 3018304 reddragonleo
reddragonleo's picture

The "timing" is always perfect as the market is 100% controled and rigged in favor of the "fantasy" that "everything is OK"... instead of the reality that the Dow should be trading around 3,000-4,000 (but only in a real world of course)

Wed, 11/28/2012 - 11:53 | 3017508 bigdumbnugly
bigdumbnugly's picture

dr jekyll and mr hyde

or two mr hyde's?

Wed, 11/28/2012 - 11:53 | 3017509 Boilermaker
Boilermaker's picture



Wed, 11/28/2012 - 11:59 | 3017531 aint no fortuna...
aint no fortunate son's picture

algos have to be programmed for this shit - so TPTB know in advance when the puppets are about to speak and they place their "bets" accordingly... this was no doubt all set up between the FED and JPM etal before the market even opened, probably choreographed to squeeze the shorts on what they knew would be shitty housing data... did anybody happen to notice what EURUSD did at exactly 10:00 a.m.?

Wed, 11/28/2012 - 12:01 | 3017549 Boilermaker
Boilermaker's picture

Nah, the SEC protects against such bullshit.  It could never happen.

Wed, 11/28/2012 - 12:05 | 3017558 Bay of Pigs
Bay of Pigs's picture

Shapiro taking her cut on the way out.


Wed, 11/28/2012 - 13:10 | 3017745 NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture

Yeah, that's just pure crazy talk. Where do people get such ideas?

Wed, 11/28/2012 - 11:53 | 3017510 SmoothCoolSmoke
SmoothCoolSmoke's picture

God...we are like Greece.

Wed, 11/28/2012 - 11:55 | 3017518 slaughterer
slaughterer's picture

Greece was just the warm up to the USA.  

Wed, 11/28/2012 - 12:13 | 3017568 ptoemmes
ptoemmes's picture

Yes...Ireland, Portugal, Spain, Italy,...,the whole effin EU.

WB7 can just recycle his collection of EU work and paste the faces of Reid, Boehner, Obama, Geithner, ect...

Wed, 11/28/2012 - 11:53 | 3017511 slaughterer
slaughterer's picture

We will be talking about ES 1385 as the bottom of "Boehner's boner" for a few more days.  

Wed, 11/28/2012 - 12:43 | 3017669 dvsteenk
dvsteenk's picture

perhaps they will stop calling him Senator Bainer after all

Wed, 11/28/2012 - 11:53 | 3017512 freedogger
freedogger's picture

The response seems limper as the days go buy...

Wed, 11/28/2012 - 11:54 | 3017514 dracos_ghost
dracos_ghost's picture

We should turn these "efficient" markets into Rock-Paper-Scissors. At least there would be fundamentals.

Wed, 11/28/2012 - 11:54 | 3017515 txsilverbug
txsilverbug's picture

Just need Bernanke to keep his fucking mouth closed..

Wed, 11/28/2012 - 12:02 | 3017553 aint no fortuna...
aint no fortunate son's picture

it's not his mouth that needs shutting, it's that brand new super high speed fiber optic line between Liberty, NYC, and Dearborn Street, Chicago

Wed, 11/28/2012 - 11:54 | 3017516 WhyDoesItHurtWh...
WhyDoesItHurtWhen iPee's picture

Hmmmm ....what can one say unto a vegetable algo. 

Wed, 11/28/2012 - 11:56 | 3017519 Conman
Conman's picture

Y u no like efficient markets?

Wed, 11/28/2012 - 12:06 | 3017562 BlueCollaredOne
BlueCollaredOne's picture

One does not simply

trust the markets anymore.

Wed, 11/28/2012 - 11:56 | 3017520 buzzsaw99
buzzsaw99's picture

that those two asshats can move the squiggly line proves there is no market. headline: obama farts, market up 1%

Wed, 11/28/2012 - 11:56 | 3017521 walidsassia
walidsassia's picture

Last Time when Boehner spoke the market Rose 70 ES point , we could hit new highs after that speech. 

Wed, 11/28/2012 - 11:56 | 3017525 ak_khanna
ak_khanna's picture

The stock, commodity and currency exchanges have been reduced to gambling dens whereby the more powerful traders with deep pockets move the markets to maximize their own profits at the expense of the remaining not so powerful players. The big boys have enormous money power to move the markets in the direction which results in maximum profits for themselves. They effectively use the media to lure the other players in the market to a position where they would incur maximum loss.
The markets will fall only when the banksters have eliminated all the short positions and only they themselves have positioned themselves to profit when the market falls
When an unexpected world event catches the banksters with their pants down and the softwares they use to rig the markets go berserk beyond their control.

Wed, 11/28/2012 - 12:53 | 3017687 dvsteenk
dvsteenk's picture

From the above link: notional value of derivatives, $244 trillion is roughly four times world GDP... of which $229 trillion is held by four banks. Hallucinating!

"According to the executive summary of the quarterly report Q1/11 issued by the Office of the Comptroller of the Currency, the notional value of the derivatives held by the commercial banks at the end of the first quarter of 2011 was $244 trillion out of which $229 trillion were held by just four banks namely, J.P.Morgan, Citigroup, Bank of America and Goldman Sachs ( To get an idea of the derivative market size, the gross domestic product (GDP) of the global economy in 2010 was in the range of $63 trillion."

Wed, 11/28/2012 - 13:23 | 3017814 shovelhead
shovelhead's picture


All these bets are covered.

What could go wrong?

Wed, 11/28/2012 - 11:56 | 3017526 slaughterer
slaughterer's picture

WTI: psycho, as usual.  

Wed, 11/28/2012 - 11:57 | 3017528 Boilermaker
Boilermaker's picture

The entire citizenry is completely captured and held by the short-and-curlies by the value of common equities.

Fucking wonderful.

Wed, 11/28/2012 - 12:04 | 3017557 forwardho
forwardho's picture

B, "value of common equities" Sir, I find that statement to be oxymoronic.

Wed, 11/28/2012 - 11:57 | 3017529 Dollar Bill Hiccup
Dollar Bill Hiccup's picture

MANIA, miniaturized.

The rumor bubbles come, the rumor bubbles go, speaking of Michelangelo ...

Wed, 11/28/2012 - 11:58 | 3017533 Kaiser Sousa
Kaiser Sousa's picture

hey thats strange...

the dow has reversed all loses....

But not Gold and Silver....

i dont get it.......


ps: gonna see my dealer as soon as he opens.......

Wed, 11/28/2012 - 12:00 | 3017546 slaughterer
slaughterer's picture

Rumor is that Paulson reduced PM exposure for redemptions this morning,.  

Wed, 11/28/2012 - 13:03 | 3017711 NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture

What kind of stupid fund managers actually allow redemptions?

Wed, 11/28/2012 - 11:58 | 3017535 Tsar Pointless
Tsar Pointless's picture

Thankfully for TPTB, only a handful of us are even paying attention.

Even less than that care.

Count me in the first category. I gave up caring a long time ago.

So, what is today? White Wednesday? Should I be standing in line somewhere or online buying something right now?

Perhaps stocks? Or a new house? I heard that stocks are a good bargain here, and that there has never been a better time to purchase a new home.

A person who is dependent upon other people spending their money in order to earn theirs wouldn't ever lie to me, now would they?

Wed, 11/28/2012 - 12:18 | 3017597 Kaiser Sousa
Kaiser Sousa's picture


Just buy Physical Gold and Silver and watch the ungoing cartoon which is this country....

Wed, 11/28/2012 - 12:30 | 3017643 Tsar Pointless
Tsar Pointless's picture

Wow. A reply from a Kaiser. I am one blessed Tsar.

A pointlessly blessed Tsar, but a blessed Tsar nonetheless.

A cartoon country. I'm thinking either "Bloom County" or "The Far Side".

Wed, 11/28/2012 - 13:36 | 3017849 fuu
fuu's picture

Walking Dead.

Wed, 11/28/2012 - 14:20 | 3017978 Kaiser Sousa
Kaiser Sousa's picture

'A reply from a Kaiser. I am one blessed Tsar...."

you deserved go forth and multiply....

Wed, 11/28/2012 - 11:58 | 3017536 forwardho
forwardho's picture

Skynet fully operational at this point. Since the market has no connection to production, (or reallity for that matter) Humans have become expensive liability. The decision was made in a nanosecond.

Wed, 11/28/2012 - 11:59 | 3017538 forwardho
forwardho's picture


Wed, 11/28/2012 - 11:59 | 3017539 Shizzmoney
Shizzmoney's picture

It's extortion.  Pure and simple.

God I hope I win the lottery tonight haha

Wed, 11/28/2012 - 11:59 | 3017542 slaughterer
slaughterer's picture

From now on, the mere mention that Reid or Boehner will make a statement soon will cause front-running algos to go berserk.  It will not matter any longer what they say.  

Wed, 11/28/2012 - 12:01 | 3017543 Yen Cross
Yen Cross's picture

 I just wish I knew when the remarks were coming so I can close every fucking trade I have before hand... Who needs technicals or macro news with one sentence grabbing algos!

This shit is an absolute joke. It only pales in comparision to that gaping blowhole Mario Draghi!

Wed, 11/28/2012 - 12:06 | 3017563 fonzannoon
fonzannoon's picture

Good luck trading this hot dogshit Yen. Charts are not going to help you when one of these blowhards feel like getting in front of a mic.

Wed, 11/28/2012 - 12:18 | 3017598 Yen Cross
Yen Cross's picture

 I knew I shouldn't have let my sell order get hit after that housing news. I should have waited for the second 1/2 of the N.Y. session, but I have meetings later.

Wed, 11/28/2012 - 12:55 | 3017694 Nadaclue
Nadaclue's picture

Well, Barky O. was supposed to speak @ 11:35 EDT but he's late. Must'a had to coordinate a Jihad in Egypt or sumptin. He'll be promising rainbow skittles and unicorns as he turns to the sheeple to support his idiotic agenda.

Hard to say what the algo's will do though, prolly sell as they love the volatility.

Wed, 11/28/2012 - 12:01 | 3017548 Mr Lennon Hendrix
Mr Lennon Hendrix's picture

Boner '16!

Wed, 11/28/2012 - 12:05 | 3017561 kralizec
kralizec's picture

Leave your Boner alone, that thing ain't a toy ya know!

Wed, 11/28/2012 - 12:02 | 3017552 buzzsaw99
buzzsaw99's picture

keep talking boehner it feels good

Wed, 11/28/2012 - 12:03 | 3017556 Squid Vicious
Squid Vicious's picture

always fade a market boehner

Wed, 11/28/2012 - 12:05 | 3017560 slaughterer
slaughterer's picture

Warren Buffett low-balling and sand-bagging expectations about fiscal-cliff fix this morning.   

Any happy talk the market gets from now on will lead to explosions.  

Wed, 11/28/2012 - 12:07 | 3017565 fonzannoon
fonzannoon's picture

Jon Stewart did a great impression of Becky Quick in the bathtub with Warren last night.

Wed, 11/28/2012 - 12:07 | 3017564 orangegeek
orangegeek's picture

Always interesting to watch a bounce like this on dogshit volume.


Algos have to make money somehow and so do their customers/pensions.  Trading blocks amongst themselves is similar to QE infinity - it runs out of rope eventually.


Brokerages must be making a killing on commissions - not.

Wed, 11/28/2012 - 12:19 | 3017572 DollarDive
DollarDive's picture



You say Boehner

I say Boner





Let's hurt the shorts today !


(valuations do matter....AHHaaahhaaa...hahahahaha.... please)  
(and NYFed says that they didn't intervene in currency markets in 3rd

Is it a coincidence that the President is speaking at 1135am est - after European Markets close ? 

Wed, 11/28/2012 - 12:13 | 3017584 Atlantis Consigliore
Atlantis Consigliore's picture


Klaatu Barada Nikto:  FED:  Do not Destroy!  (Greece is fine, or a little France Devaluation Socialism)   Millionaires are fleeing on the space ship; last one shut the lights.     

Wed, 11/28/2012 - 12:16 | 3017589 Bastiat
Bastiat's picture

Yesterday on NPR there was part one of a chummy chat with the Obfuscator of Omaha.  Part 1 ended with softball questions about the robustness of the american economy, complete with staged surprise responses to Buffet's rosy bullshit.  Part 2 was to follow this morning.  Seems like a PR campaign is underway.

Another note on PR (btw that is a euphemism invented by Bernays for propaganda):  two big movies this Christmas:  one on Lincoln (Daniel Day Lewis) and one on Roosevelt (Bill Murray).  Think about what they had in common with respect to federal power . . . buckle up for 2013.


Wed, 11/28/2012 - 12:16 | 3017592 Frank N. Beans
Frank N. Beans's picture

boner and reid laughing all the way to the bank at all the money they're making off this. 

"Ok Reid, your turn!"  hahahahahahah


Wed, 11/28/2012 - 12:18 | 3017599 Boilermaker
Boilermaker's picture

Clinking beers later at the most expensive steakhouse in D.C.

Wed, 11/28/2012 - 12:25 | 3017630 Bay of Pigs
Bay of Pigs's picture

Some may think this is <sarc>.

It isn't. It is exactly what these guys do.

Wed, 11/28/2012 - 12:34 | 3017655 Bastiat
Bastiat's picture

.... and it's perfectly legal - they get a pass on insider trading.  It's actually one of their more honest ways of making money!

Wed, 11/28/2012 - 12:29 | 3017637 BlueCollaredOne
BlueCollaredOne's picture

I dont know where they have been hiding, but it's not at Charlie Palmers steakhouse.  Its walking distance from the capital, and has some damn good beef.

I hear that a Tyler Durden works there and sometimes accessorizes the menu with his own personal selections.  A true culinary terrorist. 

Wed, 11/28/2012 - 12:17 | 3017594 khotel
khotel's picture

The pattern has been clearly set after the election that any time the market slumps a little bit, Boehner is trotted out there to goose it.    On another note, just finished reading "When Money Dies" by Adam Fergusson.   It's lamentable that even today, so many are  of the belief that masterminds in the government have the answers to what ails us. 

Wed, 11/28/2012 - 13:08 | 3017734 NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture

Yeah, cuz as we know, ALL the geniuses in society go to law school, or take up social facade engineering (without acknowledging the facade).


Wed, 11/28/2012 - 12:21 | 3017615 Boilermaker
Boilermaker's picture

Check out the Russel 2k...


Man, that's some fucking funny shit, right there.

Jesus Christ...give me a break.

Wed, 11/28/2012 - 12:26 | 3017632 DollarDive
DollarDive's picture

Transports too...... Yo Yo..... no trend completely manipulated by media and politicians.

Wed, 11/28/2012 - 12:27 | 3017633 Clowns on Acid
Clowns on Acid's picture

Waiting for the next chirp from the members of the Politburo.....then news based algo trading.

Soooo......waiting for the Grand Bargain.....which will only kick can down the road. I mean thats what the banks want correct?

Wed, 11/28/2012 - 12:28 | 3017640 Implicit simplicit
Implicit simplicit's picture

Headline: Boner Shooting Off Again Destroys Shorts

Wed, 11/28/2012 - 12:30 | 3017644 DollarDive
DollarDive's picture

1130 - Europe Closes

1135 - Obama talks about how they're closer to a deal

1136 - Transport Buy Algos "ON"

1136:01 - ES mini levitation

1137 - Goldman and JP Morgan aggressively start to buy

1138 - European Central Bank starts dumping Euro

1139 - Fed starts buying dollars

1140 - SPY +150

330pm - Selling Into Strength - Goldman and JP get flat

341 - retail stops all hit and wiped out

Rinse  / Repeat Again

Wed, 11/28/2012 - 12:30 | 3017646 4exNinja
4exNinja's picture

Because clearly politicians empty words are a good way to gauge the opposed to a real analysis. Makes perfect sense :D

Wed, 11/28/2012 - 13:31 | 3017837 Grand Supercycle
Grand Supercycle's picture


Massive SPX buy support returns, causing short covering spikes.

Substantial USD selling returns too - which supports stocks.

Wed, 11/28/2012 - 16:03 | 3018290 Mad Mohel
Mad Mohel's picture

"Boehner Arouses"......... stopped reading.

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