Caption Contest: The Market's Most Secret Weapon

Tyler Durden's picture

On November 16, and again today, one person boldly went where so many have gone before, and made sure that Nancy Pelosi's alleged SPY calls don't expire worthless, and by uttering a few words widely misinterpreted by the headline scanning, market-making algos both then, and today, preserved all confidence in the centrally-planned monetary policy farce formerly known as "the market." Who is this unmasked crusader against the evils of efficient markets, and for the unquestioned glory of authoritarian Economist PhD's in charge of the Fed's trading desk? This man:

h/t Niall

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dereksatkinson's picture

What's the inverse of bathsalts?

nope-1004's picture

Headline for the movie "Cry, and Cry Again".  The baby blue tie fits the emotional immaturity.  Just a freaking gong show already.



Pladizow's picture

"The eyes of the Derp fossil next to me have a better chance then Washington, Wall St., the market and the economy of getting straight." - Bonner.

GetZeeGold's picture



We're putting our top man on Mildred. 30 minutes of Bam Bam sitting across the table from her and he'll give us anything we want.

Manthong's picture



We now have a man with a tan
At the head of the House with no plan
But the fan won’t be hit
With a bucket of shit
‘Cause he’ll cry
And keep kicking the can.

aint no fortunate son's picture

looks like he's spitting out pubic hairs... gray ones? eeeewwwww

Michaelwiseguy's picture

Confidence is a Subjective Mind Set not based in Reality.

Stackers's picture

Anyone with a tan that perfect CAN do anything.

flacon's picture

I never thought I'd hear myself saying this: "I love Harry Reid".

Michaelwiseguy's picture

Harry Reid is there to be the Authoritarian Communitarian ring leader maintaining TSA style authoritarianism and subverting Constitutional law. I hope he dies of old age soon.

flacon's picture

Me too, but I hope he crashes the stock market first. He's already made a good beginning this week. 

Michaelwiseguy's picture

Collectivists are the worst kind of people, and usually psychopath control freak lunatics with brain damage, mental disorders, and of low mental capacity. They usually try to get other people to do their dirty work for them, and speak in childish sophomoric diatribes and insults.

redpill's picture

He may be a bastard but as evidenced by this picture he's charitable, I'm assuming this shot was taken at the Downs Syndrome Dinner to support programs to help people like that lady on the right.

smlbizman's picture

call me agent orange.....

mjcOH1's picture

I shall hold my breath until the Kenyan says I don't have to raise taxes.



I am more equal than others's picture

I am the anti-christ.  Buy stocks or I will destroy the world in 666 days. 

12ToothAssassin's picture

Hes wearing his cornsilk blue tie. It must be Wednesday.

waterhorse's picture

better than those awful pink ones.

12ToothAssassin's picture

I junked myself for not using cornFLOWER blue.

economics9698's picture

"This deal is worth a lot of money, I want three highways through my district for this MF."

trebuchet's picture

" Take your thum out of my my butt, and let go of my balls!    I tell you, I got it covered, your calls are safe...!!!!    

"  Ladies and Gentlemen, We believe we are making significant progress in our negotiations "

Ctrl_P's picture

...." and I can still taste pussy juice."

"Well I didnt appeciate you farting in my face"

A Nanny Moose's picture

Bohner: Perhaps so, but her teeth are removable.

El Viejo's picture

The ideologues are tied into knots
their utopia plans are for naught
the people wish they would think
instead of marching to the brink
and come up with plans that don't stink.

Dr. Engali's picture

                    White haired lady :  it's your birthday, and it's time you knew. You're not our natural-born child


                                       Boehner:      I'm not? You mean I'm gonna STAY this color?  

ZippyBananaPants's picture

That poor lady has gone cross-eyed listening to his crap!

prains's picture

I can only stick my tongue out this far and my wife standing beside me is none too pleased, i can't reach the "button" without my chin whiskers starting a fire.

sunaJ's picture

Where?  All I see is a bowl of dried-out yams wearing a suit.  Is this economic sage standing behind the bowl of yams?

Wakanda's picture

He looks 1 step from the dementia pod of the old age home.  Does he drool?

Abitdodgie's picture

Little boy's prefer men with tans , so they say in England.

Lost Wages's picture

Speaker of the House or smoked sausage? You decide.

Tsunami Wave's picture

Why on Earth would you even go tanning this end of November with winter coming???

DaveyJones's picture

trying to look younger for that congressional paige

XitSam's picture

What do you mean you can't spray tan my tongue?

WeekendAtBernankes's picture

So you can cry alone in the tanning bed?

Sauk Leader's picture

Just getting his Vitamin D. Osteomalacia is the softening of the bones linked to vitamin D deficiency. I assume he is working on a stronger backbone?

pods's picture

Way too late for that!

DaveyJones's picture

more of a cancer than a nutrient deficiency

DeadFred's picture

It's an atavistic throwback to the reptilian Homeworld. Sunning on a rock is what you naturally want to do after you crawl out from under one. For other examples check out Pelosi and Lagarde.

As for a title "Gotta love those algos. Believe every word you tell them, just like the voters"

waterhorse's picture

Don't forget "agent orange" Angelo Mozilo.

knukles's picture


Some dickwads the other day when the O was getting his handed to him accused this August Group of being Republicans.




bigdumbnugly's picture

any male over the age 14 still using tanning beds is a bit creepy at best.

maybe underneath his suit and baby blue tie he is all pasty white.   only his lobbyists know for sure.


wee-weed up's picture

In addition to the lobbists, I'm pretty sure Obama knows too - notice how he always gets Boner to cave in the end?