Caption Contest: The Market's Most Secret Weapon

Tyler Durden's picture

On November 16, and again today, one person boldly went where so many have gone before, and made sure that Nancy Pelosi's alleged SPY calls don't expire worthless, and by uttering a few words widely misinterpreted by the headline scanning, market-making algos both then, and today, preserved all confidence in the centrally-planned monetary policy farce formerly known as "the market." Who is this unmasked crusader against the evils of efficient markets, and for the unquestioned glory of authoritarian Economist PhD's in charge of the Fed's trading desk? This man:

h/t Niall

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rodocostarica's picture

Sadly I must announce I shot ten over par yesterday. Shit!!

Zymurguy's picture


"I'm so proud of my boy, isn't he so handsome and tan and I made that tie for him out of my old couch cushions."

"Maaaa, stop talking!  You're embarrasing me in front of the cameras!"

Zymurguy's picture


"I don't know what it is about sex that makes me have to take a shit.  You really knocked something loose there, my tan tiger... ROWR!"

Let them all fail's picture



But regardless..."Man, trying to reduce this crosseyed lady's medicare and medicaid benefits sure works up a hunger!"

Orly's picture

At least select a winner.  I have enough t-shirts but I know that my last fourteen captions have been more cleverer than anyone else's!

Being Free's picture

"Shit.  Anybody seen my Rise Above button?"

Satan's picture

" For the last time, I am not George Hamilton ".

Dr. Engali's picture

Bohner....Huh? I am *not* a bum. I'm a jerk. I once had wealth, power, and the love of a beautiful woman. Now I only have two things: my friends, and... uh... my thermos. Huh? My story? Okay. It was never easy for me................. I was born a poor black child..........I remember the days, sittin' on the porch with my family, singin' and dancin' down in Mississippi...

GetZeeGold's picture



The nice thing about being Speaker of the house is you get your special purpose worked on.......A LOT!

ekm's picture

Bullshit. It's got nothing to do with Reid or Boehner.

This casino can only and only creep higher or crater. There's no other option.


If Reid and Boehner didn't utter a word, the market would have still creeped up on no news. There is no other choice.

- Creep up

- Crater


We are beyond the point of "controlled collapse".

Winston Churchill's picture

As long as you don't look down there is no cliff.'s picture

Boehner:  "Touch my tongue to my lips and then the debts go away..ok"

Lady: "Simon didn't say"

Gullible puppet...

CVfriendship's picture

Yes Yes, President Obama and I agree that it reduces the appearance of division between parties when I have a deep bronze from vacation. And might I add, we have agreed on future vacations to accomplish this.

Glass Seagull's picture

Is that Abbey Joseph Cohen?  Of's all making sense now.



my puppy for prez's picture

I'm thinking about introducing a House bill to change the official color of the flaf to light aqua so that it compliments my tan better."  John Boehner

Mr Lennon Hendrix's picture

It's Barak Obama!

But when did he straighten his hair?

Joe Davola's picture

"Anyone wanna know how I came by this pearl necklace?"

bloostar's picture

"I did not engage in financial relations with that woman"'s picture

Lady: "These fucking ventriloquist puppets are getting heavy"

ugmug's picture

"I purpose to extend the fiscal cliff by giving every American free Viagra. If that doesn't point us in the right direction nothing will."



SheepDog-One's picture

Fucking OompaLoompa's run everything...I KNEW it!

TheMayor's picture

I don't see what all the complaining is about.  Is America a great country or what!

I mean only in America could a socialist from Kenya be elected President of the United States!

Nothing To See Here's picture

"Hmm what face should I take today to say these things in which I don't believe a fucking word? Ah yes, that one."

Glass Seagull's picture

"Bob, pan the camera out a little more so the American people can see all these flags."

Seasmoke's picture

this fiscal cliff BS, is making my eyes cross

10mm's picture

I gotta get off this fuckin planet.

agNau's picture

Superfluous flags displayed....Boehner no longer tongue in cheek, slips and states a truth.....
"This IS my mother, it was opti-grab glasses that created that blank stare! Anyone seen Navin Johnson or his dog shithead?"
One jerk, looking for another.

toomanyfakeconservatives's picture

HELP WANTED: Three day work week, fat salary, even fatter bribes, sex with little boys, and IMMUNITY FROM PROSECUTION. Apply within.

James-Morrison's picture

"I hope he doesn't eat burritos for lunch every day at el camion!"

PeteJE's picture

Two faces selling what they know they don't even believe.

adr's picture

If the markets like me so much, why didn't Diebold put in Romney.

zebrasquid's picture

"Orange you feeling good about me being in charge?"

devo's picture

This fiscal cliff talk is stupid. Everyone, except algos apparently, knows they're going to extend it.

Bansters-in-my- feces's picture

Seems to me the goverment is the terrorist.

GoldmanBaggins's picture

" Agent Orange Sings 'Tulls "Cross Eyed Mary" With Dentures Removed"

Film @ 11

DrDinkus's picture

theres days like today where i just hate everybody/why even bother with this 'market'...thailand...

the grateful unemployed's picture

if we had won the election there would be more microphones than there are flags behind me.

the grateful unemployed's picture

i accidently burned my tongue in the tanning booth

optimator's picture

CAPTION;  "Thir, your bwroker just called back, thez it's an emergenthyee"!

the grateful unemployed's picture

" saaa-d movies, always make me cry.."

Overfed's picture

Oompah-Loompah doopity-doo, have I got a riddle for you.....

RopeADope's picture

Global leaders worldwide have figured out the path to a utopian world. Don't actually govern, just say you will govern.Don't work, just talk about working. Don't teach young people, just promise them education. Don't parent your children just talk about what makes a good parent.



the grateful unemployed's picture

i think i could be Secretary of State, but nobody is asking me.

Tuco Benedicto Pacifico Juan Maria Ramirez's picture

"I did not have sex with this woman to my left, Hillary Clinton's mom.!

zebrasquid's picture

Orange, it's the new red.

Titus Flavius Caesar Vespasianus Augustus's picture




clueless krugmanite face baby messiah.

SmoothCoolSmoke's picture

"and for all my friends over at ZH.  Don't forget, despite all your rage, you are still just rats in a cage" 

Yen Cross's picture

   I'm John Boehner,and I authorize this Wall Street ramp fest...

 Now fuck off, I'm back to the Indian Casino tanning booth...