• BullionStar
    05/30/2016 - 21:24
    The US Gold Market is best known as the home of gold futures trading on the COMEX in New York. The COMEX has a literal monopoly on gold futures trading volumes worldwide, but very little physical...

Caption Contest: The Market's Most Secret Weapon

Tyler Durden's picture


On November 16, and again today, one person boldly went where so many have gone before, and made sure that Nancy Pelosi's alleged SPY calls don't expire worthless, and by uttering a few words widely misinterpreted by the headline scanning, market-making algos both then, and today, preserved all confidence in the centrally-planned monetary policy farce formerly known as "the market." Who is this unmasked crusader against the evils of efficient markets, and for the unquestioned glory of authoritarian Economist PhD's in charge of the Fed's trading desk? This man:

h/t Niall

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Wed, 11/28/2012 - 15:07 | 3018122 rodocostarica
rodocostarica's picture

Sadly I must announce I shot ten over par yesterday. Shit!!

Wed, 11/28/2012 - 15:07 | 3018123 Zymurguy
Zymurguy's picture


"I'm so proud of my boy, isn't he so handsome and tan and I made that tie for him out of my old couch cushions."

"Maaaa, stop talking!  You're embarrasing me in front of the cameras!"

Wed, 11/28/2012 - 15:08 | 3018126 Zymurguy
Zymurguy's picture


"I don't know what it is about sex that makes me have to take a shit.  You really knocked something loose there, my tan tiger... ROWR!"

Wed, 11/28/2012 - 15:08 | 3018128 Let them all fail
Let them all fail's picture



But regardless..."Man, trying to reduce this crosseyed lady's medicare and medicaid benefits sure works up a hunger!"

Wed, 11/28/2012 - 15:15 | 3018156 Orly
Orly's picture

At least select a winner.  I have enough t-shirts but I know that my last fourteen captions have been more cleverer than anyone else's!

Wed, 11/28/2012 - 15:08 | 3018129 Being Free
Being Free's picture

"Shit.  Anybody seen my Rise Above button?"

Wed, 11/28/2012 - 15:10 | 3018132 Satan
Satan's picture

" For the last time, I am not George Hamilton ".

Wed, 11/28/2012 - 15:12 | 3018137 Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture

Bohner....Huh? I am *not* a bum. I'm a jerk. I once had wealth, power, and the love of a beautiful woman. Now I only have two things: my friends, and... uh... my thermos. Huh? My story? Okay. It was never easy for me................. I was born a poor black child..........I remember the days, sittin' on the porch with my family, singin' and dancin' down in Mississippi...

Wed, 11/28/2012 - 15:19 | 3018170 GetZeeGold
GetZeeGold's picture



The nice thing about being Speaker of the house is you get your special purpose worked on.......A LOT!

Wed, 11/28/2012 - 15:12 | 3018139 ekm
ekm's picture

Bullshit. It's got nothing to do with Reid or Boehner.

This casino can only and only creep higher or crater. There's no other option.


If Reid and Boehner didn't utter a word, the market would have still creeped up on no news. There is no other choice.

- Creep up

- Crater


We are beyond the point of "controlled collapse".

Wed, 11/28/2012 - 15:12 | 3018141 Winston Churchill
Winston Churchill's picture

As long as you don't look down there is no cliff.

Wed, 11/28/2012 - 15:13 | 3018148 FLUSA.com
FLUSA.com's picture

Boehner:  "Touch my tongue to my lips and then the debts go away..ok"

Lady: "Simon didn't say"

Gullible puppet...

Wed, 11/28/2012 - 15:14 | 3018154 CVfriendship
CVfriendship's picture

Yes Yes, President Obama and I agree that it reduces the appearance of division between parties when I have a deep bronze from vacation. And might I add, we have agreed on future vacations to accomplish this.

Wed, 11/28/2012 - 15:14 | 3018155 Glass Seagull
Glass Seagull's picture

Is that Abbey Joseph Cohen?  Of course...it's all making sense now.



Wed, 11/28/2012 - 15:20 | 3018176 Mr Lennon Hendrix
Mr Lennon Hendrix's picture

She reminds me of a gremlin.

Wed, 11/28/2012 - 15:16 | 3018161 my puppy for prez
my puppy for prez's picture

I'm thinking about introducing a House bill to change the official color of the flaf to light aqua so that it compliments my tan better."  John Boehner

Wed, 11/28/2012 - 15:18 | 3018164 Mr Lennon Hendrix
Mr Lennon Hendrix's picture

It's Barak Obama!

But when did he straighten his hair?

Wed, 11/28/2012 - 15:19 | 3018173 Joe Davola
Joe Davola's picture

"Anyone wanna know how I came by this pearl necklace?"

Wed, 11/28/2012 - 15:21 | 3018174 bloostar
bloostar's picture

"I did not engage in financial relations with that woman"

Wed, 11/28/2012 - 15:21 | 3018179 FLUSA.com
FLUSA.com's picture

Lady: "These fucking ventriloquist puppets are getting heavy"

Wed, 11/28/2012 - 15:23 | 3018180 ugmug
ugmug's picture

"I purpose to extend the fiscal cliff by giving every American free Viagra. If that doesn't point us in the right direction nothing will."



Wed, 11/28/2012 - 15:25 | 3018184 SheepDog-One
SheepDog-One's picture

Fucking OompaLoompa's run everything...I KNEW it!

Wed, 11/28/2012 - 15:42 | 3018188 TheMayor
TheMayor's picture

I don't see what all the complaining is about.  Is America a great country or what!

I mean only in America could a socialist from Kenya be elected President of the United States!

Wed, 11/28/2012 - 15:27 | 3018189 Nothing To See Here
Nothing To See Here's picture

"Hmm what face should I take today to say these things in which I don't believe a fucking word? Ah yes, that one."

Wed, 11/28/2012 - 15:27 | 3018190 Glass Seagull
Glass Seagull's picture

"Bob, pan the camera out a little more so the American people can see all these flags."

Wed, 11/28/2012 - 15:28 | 3018192 Seasmoke
Seasmoke's picture

this fiscal cliff BS, is making my eyes cross

Wed, 11/28/2012 - 15:28 | 3018193 10mm
10mm's picture

I gotta get off this fuckin planet.

Wed, 11/28/2012 - 15:30 | 3018198 agNau
agNau's picture

Superfluous flags displayed....Boehner no longer tongue in cheek, slips and states a truth.....
"This IS my mother, it was opti-grab glasses that created that blank stare! Anyone seen Navin Johnson or his dog shithead?"
One jerk, looking for another.

Wed, 11/28/2012 - 15:33 | 3018200 toomanyfakecons...
toomanyfakeconservatives's picture

HELP WANTED: Three day work week, fat salary, even fatter bribes, sex with little boys, and IMMUNITY FROM PROSECUTION. Apply within.

Wed, 11/28/2012 - 15:31 | 3018201 James-Morrison
James-Morrison's picture

"I hope he doesn't eat burritos for lunch every day at el camion!"

Wed, 11/28/2012 - 15:32 | 3018203 PeteJE
PeteJE's picture

Two faces selling what they know they don't even believe.

Wed, 11/28/2012 - 15:33 | 3018209 adr
adr's picture

If the markets like me so much, why didn't Diebold put in Romney.

Wed, 11/28/2012 - 15:34 | 3018213 zebrasquid
zebrasquid's picture

"Orange you feeling good about me being in charge?"

Wed, 11/28/2012 - 15:38 | 3018225 devo
devo's picture

This fiscal cliff talk is stupid. Everyone, except algos apparently, knows they're going to extend it.

Wed, 11/28/2012 - 15:37 | 3018227 Bansters-in-my-...
Bansters-in-my- feces's picture

Seems to me the goverment is the terrorist.

Wed, 11/28/2012 - 15:38 | 3018228 GoldmanBaggins
GoldmanBaggins's picture

" Agent Orange Sings 'Tulls "Cross Eyed Mary" With Dentures Removed"

Film @ 11

Wed, 11/28/2012 - 15:41 | 3018237 DrDinkus
DrDinkus's picture

theres days like today where i just hate everybody/why even bother with this 'market'...thailand...

Wed, 11/28/2012 - 15:45 | 3018245 the grateful un...
the grateful unemployed's picture

if we had won the election there would be more microphones than there are flags behind me.

Wed, 11/28/2012 - 15:45 | 3018246 the grateful un...
the grateful unemployed's picture

i accidently burned my tongue in the tanning booth

Wed, 11/28/2012 - 15:50 | 3018253 optimator
optimator's picture

CAPTION;  "Thir, your bwroker just called back, thez it's an emergenthyee"!

Wed, 11/28/2012 - 15:50 | 3018257 the grateful un...
the grateful unemployed's picture

" saaa-d movies, always make me cry.."

Wed, 11/28/2012 - 15:50 | 3018258 Overfed
Overfed's picture

Oompah-Loompah doopity-doo, have I got a riddle for you.....

Wed, 11/28/2012 - 15:51 | 3018260 RopeADope
RopeADope's picture

Global leaders worldwide have figured out the path to a utopian world. Don't actually govern, just say you will govern.Don't work, just talk about working. Don't teach young people, just promise them education. Don't parent your children just talk about what makes a good parent.



Wed, 11/28/2012 - 15:54 | 3018269 the grateful un...
the grateful unemployed's picture

i think i could be Secretary of State, but nobody is asking me.

Wed, 11/28/2012 - 15:58 | 3018283 Tuco Benedicto ...
Tuco Benedicto Pacifico Juan Maria Ramirez's picture

"I did not have sex with this woman to my left, Hillary Clinton's mom.!

Wed, 11/28/2012 - 15:59 | 3018286 zebrasquid
zebrasquid's picture

Orange, it's the new red.

Wed, 11/28/2012 - 16:00 | 3018287 Titus Flavius C...
Titus Flavius Caesar Vespasianus Augustus's picture




clueless krugmanite face baby messiah.

Wed, 11/28/2012 - 16:02 | 3018288 SmoothCoolSmoke
SmoothCoolSmoke's picture

"and for all my friends over at ZH.  Don't forget, despite all your rage, you are still just rats in a cage" 

Wed, 11/28/2012 - 16:22 | 3018337 Yen Cross
Yen Cross's picture

   I'm John Boehner,and I authorize this Wall Street ramp fest...

 Now fuck off, I'm back to the Indian Casino tanning booth...

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