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Bill Gross Explains The Market's Response To Today's Job Number

Tyler Durden's picture


... in under 140 characters no less


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Fri, 12/07/2012 - 11:10 | 3042615 slaughterer
slaughterer's picture

"Be careful..." translated ==>  Buy Bill Gross "Bond King" Bond Funds before AAPL goes below $500.  

Fri, 12/07/2012 - 11:27 | 3042702 francis_sawyer
francis_sawyer's picture

Fake market response to fake numbers [all explained to you by a guy who forgot to swallow the tail on his squirrel dinner using a goddamned 'Twitter' account]...

Swell!... [Thanks for the 'pre-noon'Friday Humor' Tyler]... Does this mean I can start drinking early?...

Fri, 12/07/2012 - 11:36 | 3042762 icanhasbailout
icanhasbailout's picture

you can always start drinking early


highly recommended, in fact

Fri, 12/07/2012 - 14:32 | 3043401 Boris Alatovkrap
Boris Alatovkrap's picture

Vodka is highly recommending, but not in hour before 14:00 except for alcoholism.

Fri, 12/07/2012 - 14:57 | 3043506 gmrpeabody
gmrpeabody's picture

It's gotta be 1400 hours somewhere...

Fri, 12/07/2012 - 18:56 | 3044184 Lord Of Finance
Lord Of Finance's picture

Alcohol doesn't provide the escape from this dumbfoundingly delusional parallel economic universe I have been transported to anymore. I highly recommend hallucinogens and opiates.

Fri, 12/07/2012 - 11:50 | 3042819 CrazyCooter
CrazyCooter's picture

LMAO, I have no idea what "swallow the tail on his squirrel dinner" meant ... so, I head over to google ... and get this!

Still need help following your comment! :-)



Fri, 12/07/2012 - 11:54 | 3042833 Randall Cabot
Randall Cabot's picture

I thought eagles ate fish

Fri, 12/07/2012 - 11:58 | 3042848 francis_sawyer
francis_sawyer's picture

Well I suppose he doesn't have the mustache anymore ~ so eventually he managed to eat the whole squirrel...

Fri, 12/07/2012 - 12:06 | 3042877 CrazyCooter
CrazyCooter's picture

Gotcha, unruly mustache.

I thought it might be hair, but I just couldn't nail it down proper.




Fri, 12/07/2012 - 12:05 | 3042871 CrazyCooter
CrazyCooter's picture

I didn't know much about Eagles until I moved to AK. I see them often. I was surprised about a number of things...

  • They tend to be manogomous
  • They tend to keep the same nest, so once you know where they live, it is a lot easier to watch them
  • When the mate in the spring, they interlock their feet/claws and dive together doing cartwheels before breaking apart close to the ground. Foreplay!
  • I heared that the power company had an outage once that was a deer on the power lines ... Eagle dropped it or put it there to rest ... cooked the deer good and proper LOL
  • I have seen eagles dive at the tide water and "catch" stuff, which I am going to guess was a dead fish. I am guessing they eat any kind of meat stuff they can catch up to and including carrion.

That YouTube came from which is proably not doing much since its December now, LOL. I didn't visit, I just saved the link. I think it will be fun to watch em raise kids next year! I will put it on my personal lap top at work with my KHYI (streaming is blocked so I have to improvise for web radio).



Fri, 12/07/2012 - 14:37 | 3043419 1100-TACTICAL-12
1100-TACTICAL-12's picture

We have bald eagles that come here around Llano every year. In fact they are here now. They are bald eagles and they are big sob's.

Fri, 12/07/2012 - 16:45 | 3043834 ajax
ajax's picture


 "Manogomous"? let's see, would that mean one man per eagle? Or accompanied by a male go-go dancer?

 Oh !!  Monogamous !! Keep it up Zero Hedgers - soon enough none of us will be able to even read this fucking blog:

there for their or they're

loose for lose

too for two or to

it's for its

folks for people

the list goes on and on and on and on

Had to laugh when your sacred Rick Santelli pronounced 'Weimar' as 'wiener' with an m. You fucking stupid blockheads.

Fri, 12/07/2012 - 11:27 | 3042707 Enslavethechild...
EnslavethechildrenforBen's picture

You mean $50...

Fri, 12/07/2012 - 11:11 | 3042619 TruthInSunshine
TruthInSunshine's picture

Gross is a conspiracy-tin foil wearing-truther!

Fri, 12/07/2012 - 11:15 | 3042635 Levadiakos
Levadiakos's picture

Bullshit Bill is stretching the truth:  

540,000 people drop from labor force not 200,000


Fri, 12/07/2012 - 11:22 | 3042687 Nothing To See Here
Nothing To See Here's picture

That's just a bunch of malarkey!

Fri, 12/07/2012 - 11:25 | 3042698 old naughty
old naughty's picture


So you're implying Gross helped to cover up, no?

Fri, 12/07/2012 - 11:27 | 3042709 Levadiakos
Levadiakos's picture

Not for nothing around the water cooler he's affectionately known as Benghazi Bill.

Fri, 12/07/2012 - 11:31 | 3042739 Enslavethechild...
EnslavethechildrenforBen's picture

Any big dog that does not semi align their tongue with the Fed will not have further access to inside info

Fri, 12/07/2012 - 14:43 | 3043446 old naughty
old naughty's picture

Gross mis-representation.

Fri, 12/07/2012 - 11:54 | 3042835 CheapBastard
CheapBastard's picture


I updated it for you.

Fri, 12/07/2012 - 11:19 | 3042664 Stock Tips Inve...
Stock Tips Investment's picture

In the short term, market direction is given by the solution to the "Fiscal Cliff". The news from Europe and the U.S. economy will only companions.

Fri, 12/07/2012 - 11:12 | 3042624 Levadiakos
Levadiakos's picture

yeah but Obama Claus is coming

Fri, 12/07/2012 - 11:18 | 3042662 ParkAveFlasher
ParkAveFlasher's picture

You better be good for goodness sake, or else he'll drone your ass.

Fri, 12/07/2012 - 11:35 | 3042755 francis_sawyer
francis_sawyer's picture

He's streamlined & automated the process so that the killing may go on unabated while on the annual Hawaiian Vacation... He's deserving of another Peace Prize for that maneuver...

Fri, 12/07/2012 - 11:53 | 3042829 ParkAveFlasher
ParkAveFlasher's picture

Well, like any video game, the more you kill, the more you earn.  In fact he leveled up - 4 more years of play!

Fri, 12/07/2012 - 12:46 | 3043004 francis_sawyer
francis_sawyer's picture

If you kill 'em with drones, you get 'virgin boys & billygoats' in the afterlife... Thus the incentive...

Fri, 12/07/2012 - 11:12 | 3042626's picture

Those 55-69 year old Robots are very productive

Fri, 12/07/2012 - 11:29 | 3042728 GubbermintWorker
GubbermintWorker's picture

Unless they work for the gov't ;)

Fri, 12/07/2012 - 14:36 | 3043415 GubbermintWorker
GubbermintWorker's picture

Ok, who gave me a down vote? Probably some IRS agent.

Fri, 12/07/2012 - 11:12 | 3042629 blunderdog
blunderdog's picture

I appreciate his warning, but what's to be careful about? 

The stock market isn't affected by the economy...

Fri, 12/07/2012 - 12:02 | 3042862 RSloane
RSloane's picture

Agree. He of all people should know that.

Fri, 12/07/2012 - 12:14 | 3042909 The Master
The Master's picture

It isn't affected by the economy.....until it is.  Gravity is a real bitch

Fri, 12/07/2012 - 11:15 | 3042645 slaughterer
slaughterer's picture

OT: NFLX today.  The SEC serves a Wells notice to the CEO.  UP 3%.  Full retardo market.  

Fri, 12/07/2012 - 11:27 | 3042714 Ness.
Ness.'s picture

OT2:  Citi announces they're cutting 11,000 jobs and the stock rips higher.

Fri, 12/07/2012 - 11:46 | 3042809 Seer
Seer's picture

Workers are moochers, don't ya know! (and the move to full automation, drone-ification, continues)

Fri, 12/07/2012 - 11:58 | 3042847 Hubbs
Hubbs's picture

Actually, Citi is the johnny come lately who has finally gotten its computer algos all straightened out.  No more need for archaic button pushers.

Fri, 12/07/2012 - 11:27 | 3042716 LongSoupLine
LongSoupLine's picture

That one makes sense.  When the SEC gets involved it's bullish for a company.  After all, the SECis so corrupt and incompetent, they could fuck up convicting a live pay-per-view insider trading event

Fri, 12/07/2012 - 12:12 | 3042900 adr
adr's picture

Poor Slaughterer, you need to follow the news. Netflix signed a deal with Disney to have disney films on Netflix in 2016. That means Netflix will have the next Star Wars, perhaps.

$350 is a lock. Irrational hype trumps having a theif for a CEO every time.

Fri, 12/07/2012 - 17:29 | 3043981 ajax
ajax's picture



Just what Americans need: another Star Wars sequel. As if they aren't ignorant enough already.


Fri, 12/07/2012 - 11:16 | 3042646 azzhatter
azzhatter's picture

Barack O'Claus is coming

Fri, 12/07/2012 - 11:20 | 3042663 slaughterer
slaughterer's picture

Dear Investors, 

Santa rally has been canceled due to my "fiscal cliff" pissing contest.  



P.S. We will tax you to death next year.  

Fri, 12/07/2012 - 11:25 | 3042696 Nothing To See Here
Nothing To See Here's picture

Edit : We will tax you to the point just before you die next year. We need you to keep working after all so that you can borrow and stimulate our banks, err I mean economy.

Fri, 12/07/2012 - 12:30 | 3042961 Harbanger
Harbanger's picture

Printing or borrowing is the only way a keynesian knows to stimulate the economy, that's the only thing inflating stock prices right now.  The Higher taxes are only to satisfy the peasants class envy meme and to make sure no peasants can ever climb out of the states tax structure, you are penalized for earning more than the set amounts.  GE and other preferred clients will still pay zero taxes.

Fri, 12/07/2012 - 11:17 | 3042650 Cursive
Cursive's picture

The reflexive urge to "be careful" has been replaced by Fed-induced complacency and outright punishment of anyone (i.e. savers, fixed-income investors seeking income) who has actually followed a rational investing approach.  Prudent investors have become suckers and the rent-seeking economic leaches and their momo BTFD followers have become the winners.

Fri, 12/07/2012 - 11:17 | 3042651 LongSoupLine
LongSoupLine's picture

Depression, not Recession Bill.  As for "slowing"...way the fuck off.

Fri, 12/07/2012 - 11:48 | 3042815 Seer
Seer's picture

Let them eat cake!

Fri, 12/07/2012 - 11:17 | 3042654 Confundido
Confundido's picture

So, how come zero risk-weighted assets, like 30-yr tsys plunge 1.47% on the announcement of mildly positive employment news?? Is this the kind of assets that we want to stuff our banking system, so that they can support policies that will bring even more positive employment news??? I'm confundido...

Fri, 12/07/2012 - 11:21 | 3042680 CrashisOptimistic
CrashisOptimistic's picture

That's a rational response.  Any indication of true growth means likely inflation and thus negative for bonds.

But of course there is no growth, there isn't going to be any, and bond yields will eventually go negative, making a lot of money for bondholders in today.

The yield is down almost 0.5% this year.  Bond holders have profited hugely.

Fri, 12/07/2012 - 11:50 | 3042820 Seer
Seer's picture

So, no Skittles and unicorns? </sarc>

Fri, 12/07/2012 - 11:18 | 3042657 Atlantis Consigliore
Atlantis Consigliore's picture

Print another $ Trillion or Five Trillion.  Who Cares, dont like it? Go to France!!! (or Collyfornia)

Fri, 12/07/2012 - 11:20 | 3042669 bullmkt
bullmkt's picture

Gross right,mkt wromg? Yeah.hes just frustrated cause bond yieldds goin down.Speakin of him,whats his performance record,lately?

Fri, 12/07/2012 - 11:54 | 3042836 Hubbs
Hubbs's picture

Yeah, he made his bond bed. Now he has to lie in it.

Fri, 12/07/2012 - 12:07 | 3042881 MyBrothersKeeper
MyBrothersKeeper's picture

Again why the bashing Gross?  He post was 100% true.  BTW bond yields going down helps most of his clients as it means prices going up.  His record this year is awesome on both the equity and bond side

Fri, 12/07/2012 - 13:08 | 3043067 jcaz
jcaz's picture

Uh dude? Basic principle of finance-  yields down= prices up,  which BENEFITS Bill....  And yeah, do take a look at his performance the last six months-  he's not hurting..

Now back to the 4th grade for you, young squire-  jeez, spel much?

Fri, 12/07/2012 - 11:25 | 3042700 thruhiker
thruhiker's picture

The truth is 122,000 fewer people have jobs this month than in the month before.

Fri, 12/07/2012 - 11:52 | 3042825 Seer
Seer's picture

They're holding the chart upside down, no other explanation.

Anything that appears to show elevation needs to be seen through the lens of "Slinky down the staircase."

Fri, 12/07/2012 - 11:28 | 3042723 Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture

Bill the market rallies because the Bernank says it rallies. Until he decides otherwise, or something blow up, that is the way it will be.

Fri, 12/07/2012 - 11:29 | 3042733 SheepDog-One
SheepDog-One's picture

To the over careful.

Fri, 12/07/2012 - 11:31 | 3042735 q99x2
q99x2's picture

Nothing about spent fuel pool #4 and the 7.3 Fukushimo earthquake. Guess it doesn't matter. We're doomed anyway.

Fri, 12/07/2012 - 11:52 | 3042827 Hubbs
Hubbs's picture

 Tyler. Yes, what abiout it? Any more3 news about Fukashima. I realize the effects of radiation take years to maniufest, but I think I timely update is in order.


Meanwhile, when I switched from the ESPN /sports info (that all the brain dead doctors just seem to have to watch in the lounge,) I noticed the employment numbers trumpeted on CNN. 

My response: To immediately check ZH for the real story.

Fri, 12/07/2012 - 11:35 | 3042758 mendigo
mendigo's picture

I have not in my memory witnessed such succint, plain spoke, accurate, unbiased honesty in accessing the state of affairs.

Bill just summarized the result of the last 4 years (or maybe 60 depending on how you wish to look at it).

Bill, you are my new hero. But you must be punished.

It is an interesting affect of mobile devices - brevity.


Fri, 12/07/2012 - 11:55 | 3042837 Seer
Seer's picture

Well, if I had a "mobile device" I'd punch out this message: "It's a Ponzi.  Run!"

It's now Bill's turn to top that one!

Fri, 12/07/2012 - 11:54 | 3042831 Zymurguy
Zymurguy's picture

Not enough information is provided to people (purposely?) via media and education.

If not a single new job were ever created from this point "forward", and all unemployment benefits expired and/or people quit looking for jobs... we'd eventually hit 0.0% unemployment.

Isn't that great, commrades???

Fri, 12/07/2012 - 11:57 | 3042844 Seer
Seer's picture

Exactly!  But, at some point the percentages would get real ugly: such as with the case when there are two folks left working and one is axed -> 50% job loss; BUT... we KNOW that that would be reported as "only one job lost!"

Fri, 12/07/2012 - 12:59 | 3043042 agNau
agNau's picture

Only warning of the "set up".
reading the tea leaves sprinkled about.
The savior comes soon from paradise.

Fri, 12/07/2012 - 13:48 | 3043170 WallowaMountainMan
WallowaMountainMan's picture


Fri, 12/07/2012 - 13:55 | 3043253 hawk nation
hawk nation's picture

The sheeple will all know one out of every four friends will be unemployed but will tell you that the unemployment rate is below 8% and never bother to question the government reported data. We deserve the depression coming in the next six months because americans are to stupid or intellectually lazy to figure out how they are being manipulated

The good news is ben can print print print

Anyone have a chart of the actual revenue received by the government for the last four years?

Fri, 12/07/2012 - 15:39 | 3043629 StoleYourMoney
StoleYourMoney's picture

Fixed: Gross: Equity market rallies b/c 200,000+ workers stop looking for jobs & the U-Rate hits 7.7%. Be careful, Europe in recession, US slowing in recession.

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